bicycle overnight

Supernatural Gentrification
  • Citibike rack sprouts from pavement overnight offering bicycles made of bones
  • Look down at sesame chicken & rice at corner Chinese takeout, realize it’s quinoa & seitan, look up you’re in Whole Foods
  • Indigent drunks reek of microbrew, panhandle for bitcoin, babble terrified nonsense about venture capital
  • In every basement a ghostly door opens to a spectral Ikea
  • Local taggers enter mass trance, spray-paint all delivery vans to look like Mudtrucks
  • Crate & Barrel catalogs flutter across twilit sky hunting for recipients
  • Liveried doormen appear in any doorway, anywhere at any time, ask who you’re there to see, seem dubious at any response
  • Numerous secure wifi networks appear whose password is the date and time of your death
  • Look in mirror & say “Warby Parker” three times, sensible & fashionable custom glasses arrive in 1-2 weeks that allow you to see the howling damned all around you