bickering married couple

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Fortune Teller AU because Lance is a hopeless romantic and would totally do something as cheesy as ask a fortune teller about his love life. You can fight me on this.

It’s a shame he was interrupted by his “rival” tho :3

Everyone Lived.

Everyone lived. When Harry was born, Lily hardly saw him because Sirius was fitting him into a tiny leather jacket, Remus was reading to him, and James was already trying to sneak him to the Quidditch supply store to get Harry his first toy broom. Christmases were spent with full bellies and rooms stuffed with laughter, and there wasn’t a single person without flushed cheeks from all the wine. Lily’s eyes sparkled, and there was always a joke on the tip of James’ tongue. All Harry knew was love, love, love, from every corner of the universe.

Everyone lived, and every Thursday afternoon, Sirius and Remus took Harry to the “library”, which was the secret word they taught him for the ice cream parlor. With each trip, they ordered the biggest sundae that was offered with three spoons, and Harry always ate nearly all of it. They kept it up until the day Harry asked Lily to take him to the library and, when confronted with the shelves piled high with books, he asked her where they went to order their ice cream.

Remus and Sirius got married when Harry was three, and Harry was the ring bearer. Lily cried the first time she saw him in his tiny dress robes. They were just long enough that he nearly tripped halfway up the aisle. There wasn’t a single pair of dry of eyes in the audience that day.

Everyone lived, and on Harry’s sixth birthday, he celebrated alongside Neville with all their friends and family. James gave Harry his first set of toy Quidditch balls. He, Ron, Neville, Draco, and Ginny all played together until Draco pushed Neville off his broom and into the cake Alice had spent hours working on. Lily tried so hard not to laugh at Neville’s frosting-covered face, but instead she went beet red and gave herself away to everyone.

Draco said he was sorry. He actually meant it.

Everyone lived, and the moms had a Lockhart book club, which consisted of everyone getting wine-drunk and complaining about their husbands together. Draco, Neville, Harry and Ron eavesdropped and reported back to their dads, who were standing around the kitchen armed with beer, about what they did wrong that week. Each of the meetings somehow coincidentally ended with each of the men stopping by to bring their respective wives bouquets of flowers or boxes of chocolate “because they just felt like it.”

Everyone lived, and Draco and Harry were friends, believe it or not. When Narcissa and Lucius had a date night, they dropped Draco off at the Potters. James told them scary stories in the darkness of their blanket tent. Lily used magic to cast shadows all over their living room, and Harry and Draco wouldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. But Lily kissed each of their foreheads and assured them each that everything would be fine, because she and James would never let anything bad happen to either of them.

She meant it.

Draco and Harry stayed up until their eyelids were simply too heavy to bear, but Harry managed to remain awake till Draco was completely asleep before closing his eyes. It was one of the most peaceful things he’d ever seen. He wasn’t exactly sure why he thought that. Not yet, anyways.

Everyone lived. Everyone got a little bit older. The kids all went off to Hogwarts, somehow managing to stuff themselves all into one train compartment, even with Hermione once she joined. Draco and Harry got put into different houses, which was a relief to everyone around them. “they already bickered like a married couple without rooming together,” Ron said when they were first sorted, “I don’t want to think about what we’d have to deal with if they were sharing a dorm.”

The only time Harry and Draco forgot about their friendship was when they played against each other in Quidditch. There were no rules when you needed to be the first one to the snitch.

(I suppose there weren’t any rules when it came to making out with your best friend in an empty corridor after drinking half a bottle of fire whiskey, either.)

Sixth year came with sly glances and brushing fingertips in the hallway; throwing all caution to the wind and risking friendship for feelings Harry and Draco had been denying since they were kids. Ron and Hermione exchanged knowing looks, but no one said a word. Not even when Harry inconspicuously crept out of bed nearly every night at half past two with his Invisibility cloak in tow, not returning until the sun was just peeking out over the mountains, if at all. He looked happier than ever that year, secrets tugging on the corners of his mouth every time he spoke.

Everyone lived, and when Draco and Harry came out to their families their seventh year, everyone groaned. “You owe me ten Galleons,” was the first thing James said to Lucius, and Harry knew then that everything was going to be okay.

Because everyone was here, surrounding him, breathing, alive. They all hugged him and Draco at once, cheeks smooshed together, a mess of laughter and “I love you’s” and kisses on foreheads. They were all connected then, their pulses stitching them together with a bond Harry knew nothing could break.

They all knew hurt; they knew pain and suffering, and they knew loss, but most of all, they knew each other. They knew love, and they knew hope.

As they stood there, a giant amoeba of people from all walks of life, some more challenging than others, Harry let go of the breath he felt as though he had been holding for his entire life.

An AU where Bitty didn’t go to Samwell and instead started working at a bakery in Providence. The bakery is around the same neighbourhood where Tater lives.

Tater starts frequenting the place and soon enough, you guessed it. Bitty and Tater become friends.

The best of friends. The ride or die friends. The I’d hide a body with you friend. But also the how many skittles can you fit in your mouth? Friend.

Tater starts a lot of his stories with ‘B and I…’ ‘Took B to’ 'B is’ etc and everybody starts assuming that B is Tater’s girlfriend, until he brings him for a game.

Everybody sort of goes 'oooooh’ and assumes this is Tater coming out and bringing his boyfriend to meet them. And if you think about it, it sort of explains Tater calling him B.

Then Tater comes super excited one day. 'B will move with me!’ And they all congratulate him and everything, thinking it’s so nice that Tater and Bitty’s relationship is going well, while actually Tater has been nagging Bitty to move in so he can have access to pie 24/7.

But also because Bitty is his best friend and since he bought his apartment he has been feeling a little lonely, this is the reason that does convince Bitty to move in because he has been feeling a little lonely too.

Fast forward a year, Jack graduates and joins the team. By this point Bitty is a regular at the games, he is a very in demand babysitter and makes a lot of food for the players.

Before he starts, Guy and Marty take the time to feel him out and explain that Tater has a boyfriend, and that they will have nothing but acceptance in their locker room.

They do this after asking Tater if it was ok to tell Jack about Bitty.

'No problem!’ Tater replies happily 'But B so good he need no introduction.’

Jack is pleased by this of course, and happy he is in a welcoming team.

Then Jack meets Bitty.

And to make it better, let’s say he meets him when he is carrying a bunch of stuff for the nook.

'You should eat more protein,’ Jack jokes after seeing all the pies, and offers a hand to carry things.

Bitty jokes/flirts back. They are having a moment, Jack feels butterflies in his stomach and well, if the team is ok with Tater, surely they’d be ok with him…

'B! You made it!’ Tater bellows from down the hallways and rushes over, picking Bitty and putting him in a bear hug. 'I miss you.’

'Tater!’ Bitty yells laughing, and kisses his cheek playfully, 'you saw me this morning.’

'Yeah but you sleepy, you grumpy when sleepy. Like tiny bear.’

And then Bitty and Tater start to bicker like an old married couple. This whole time Tater is holding Bitty up.

Jack stomach drops to his feet, because of course Bitty is taken. By his teammate.

Jack develops a crush, a massive problematic crush because holy fuck Tater is the nicest person ever, and he would never want to get in between him and his boyfriend, but also he is terrified of Tater finding out because he once took two defence man by himself and won.

Meanwhile, at Bitty and Tater’s home, Bitty flings himself dramatically over the counter.

'Tater! I’m in love. Jack is so cute and nice, I like him so much.’

'Jack nice guy, he good guy for you. I approve,’ Tater says solemnly with a mouth full of pie.

'Say it don’t spray it,’ Bitty asks for the millionth time. 'Do you know if he likes guys?’

And then Tater being the good friend he is, tries to feel Jack out and play matchmaker, while an increasingly alarmed Jack thinks Tater is warning him off about crushing on Bitty.

Which isn’t helped by the fact Bitty keeps popping up to chirp him, which kind of feels like flirting but surely not…

Things get clarified and everything, Jack and Bitty start dating, and Tater has to explain 8 times to everybody that no, he never dated Bitty.

'We kissed once. We agree weird. We best as best friends,’ Tater says once again.

'Yeah but if he was going to date somebody other than you why couldn’t it be me?’ Poots complains loudly.

'You no good enough for B,’ Tater chirps back. 'I only let B date good teammate who didn’t eat my pie.’

'Will you let that go man!? I didn’t know it was yours.’

'It had sticky paper with Tater on it! You don’t fool me Poot, you food thief!’

Ok, but this scene always cracks me up, because like??

It looks like they’re arguing over some next level conspiracy theory, and Keith just said something to outright tick Pidge off, and now she’s glaring him down viciously lmao. 

dan and phil's passport story

•legit phil’s dream about dan losing his passport if you didn’t already believe phil lester is a psychic
•"that’s probs just a sfw version of whatever was actually going on inside your head" yes dan because obviously any dream of phil with you in it would be 11/10 nsfw
•"dan went pale. like the palest you’ve ever seen him. like his whole internet history had been leaked…“ #beemovieyaoi
•them literally screaming at each other like the married couple they are i can’t
•dan fucking left his passport in a pair of jeans @me
•"he was emptying his suitcase all over the street” take a moment to visualize this. okay we’re back!
•how many times have these two literally ran through airports can we count please
•they got on this fucking super late plane and slept none just to go to vidcon literally #commitment this is why i stan
•"i feel like it was all your fault" literally fuckin savage phil
•these two blaming each other for everything “yOu FoRgOt YoUr PaSsPoRt” “yOu GoT tHe CaR oFf By An HoUr” literally only married couples bicker like this fuck you @phantis
•dan knew it phil knew it we all knew it if you’re gonna let your fans decide anything phil’s going to win
•but every story has a moral. this story’s moral:
💫ALWAYS BELIEVE IN PHIL’S DREAMS!💫

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I fell into drarry hell so I had to draw this, i’ve been reading fanfics non-stop (God bless @capiturecs that masterlist is 👌!!!) i’m weak for characters that bicker/fight like a married couple, I specially love the fics where they are adults working together or in differents departments in the ministry but they still have to have interaction with each other because… of reasons… when their ‘bickering’ turn into blatant flirting i’m :))

                                         Reasons I love AvAc! Stony

1. The first conversation that Tony and Steve ever have, they admit they like each other. Steve is just recruited and he wants to run for class president. Tony suggests he just take it but Steve says, “I like you Tony, but don’t ever disrespect the election process.” And Tony smiles and replies, “I like you too Cap, but by now you should know that I pretty much disrespect everything.” Then Tony campaigns for Cap anyway ;)

2. During the Civil War event, Tony made a Capsuit to put on a show for Steve. It was a cute ordeal more than anything, and Tony asks for a hug from Steve. Steve says no, and Tony apparently has a simulator where he’s hugging Steve in it. After, there’s a picture during the news announcement of Steve and Tony side hugging, smiling, and Tony is giving Steve bunny ears. (X

3. Once Tony told Steve that he was his “favorite field commander.” (X)

4. Steve is talking to Natasha about Tony and Natasha tells him, “You two should just get married.” (X)

5. When Ronan came to the Academy for the first GoTG event, Steve said, “I got your back, Tony.”

6. Once Tony told Steve, “What if I told you the internet thought we were the perfect couple?”

7. Tony offers to upgrades Steve’s shield to make it lighter, stronger, and capable of firing energy blasts and Steve replies with, “Thanks, but I think you’re fancy enough for the both of us.” While smiling happily and Tony is shocked.

8. During the Halloween event, Tony had to do a last minute cardboard Iron Man costume because Baron Zemo bought the last Captain America costume. He was going to be Cap! And he’s mentioned dressing up as Cap as a kid more than once. (X)

9. Tony said once, “I mock because I love. Ask Cap, I’ve been mocking him for months.” So….he’s loved him for months.

10. Tony asked Steve for girl advice, and said he was absurdly handsome. So they go working out together at the gym…clearly showing off for each other, and not a girl. Tony thinks he did a good workout, which Steve took as a joke. So he went to the gym with Tony again…I wonder why… (X)

11. They bicker like a married couple.

12. Tony always goes to Cap at the beginning of an event to plan out how to protect the Academy (because they’re leaders and work best together).

13. When recruiting Mockingbird Tony tells her she can trust Steve. Once she tells Steve that, he looks shocked and SO happy about it. (X)

14. Tony makes a blacksmith Iron Man outfit that is pretty revealing, which leaves Steve speechless. Once Tony says he’s a blacksmith, Steve tells him that was his second guess. Steve, what was your first guess you naughty guy? (X)

15. When you get Pepper she asks Steve, “will you keep an eye on Tony?” To which Steve smiles and replies, “I always do.” (X)

16. Tony Stark is such a Cap fanboy. He’s dressed up as Cap, he had Cap action figures, and he even had Jarvis make him Capcakes for breakfast as a kid. (X) (X)

17. When Ultron attacked, who has the mind of Tony, the first thing he did was make a Captain America robot and he calls the Capbot his greatest creation. (X)

18. When Tony finds out about RoboCap he’s shocked and disappointed he didn’t think to make a RoboCap first. (X)

19. When Ultron attacks Tony thinks Steve is going to blame him, but Steve doesn’t. He just encourages Tony and says they’ll defeat him together. (X)

20. During the Ultron event Tony mocks Steve by trying to do an impression of him and he says, “I told you not to build those robots, Tony. We should have been teaching bald eagles how to do the Charleston while balancing apple pies on our bulging biceps.” So Tony was checking Steve and his biceps out. Steve takes it as a joke and says just reassures Tony that they can fix the problem. (X)

21. Tony makes Cap an energy shield but when Steve uses it, it turns into a giant energy ball where Steve runs around in it. Steve knows Tony so well that he tells Tony to get his joke over with. Tony calls him Hamster America, and Steve would be more mad but he said it was a good workout. (X) (X) (X)

22. When Tony encounters RoboCap he says “sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect robot teeth.” He says he’s thought about saying that to Steve sometimes, but RoboCap says it’s too far. Tony then agrees and talks about how Cap is his friend and how polite he is. (X)

23. Tony’s wanted to make upgrades to Steve’s shield for better protection, but eventually he makes him an energy shield instead when Steve is in his Commander America uniform. (X)

24. During the Ultron event while Tony is working on Steve’s energy shield Steve tells Tony that he’s been having a recurring dream about a red dinosaur. Tony smiles and says he wishes Steve was that weird more often. (X)

25. Tony asks Steve, “How do you like my mancave?” (X)

26. Steve tells Tony that he’s more than just his tech. (X)

27. Tony loves Steve’s biceps. He’s commented on them more than once. Telling Steve about his “bulging biceps” and when Gladiator Cap showed up, Tony said he’s seen Steve checking out his own biceps. Steve says he hasn’t and asked Tony if HE’S been checking out his biceps…Tony then says he’s a scientist (which means yes, he’s been checking Steve out). (X)

28. Tony is talking to Peter Quill and Peter doesn’t understand some of the scientific terms Tony’s using. Steve steps in and DEFINES the word, Tony is shocked, and Steve is so proud and says “futurism!” (X)

29. Tony confides in Steve at the beginning of an event and Steve wants to hear it. Tony refuses to tell him cause he doesn’t want Steve to change his plans and says he can’t make all of Steve’s life choices for him. (Tony definitely wants to be a part of Steve’s life decisions). (X

30. During the GoTG2 event Steve’s costume is “Ravager Captain America” and he has a great outfit made of leather with leather straps and he has a mohawk. This leaves Tony speechless, and Tony has never been speechless before. (I’m pretty sure Tony loved the leather, and rock ‘n roll look). (X)