biblical trolls

In reply to a rude homophobic douche...

…that sent us a message that we refuse to publish in its entirety due to a record number of slurs: Yes, your little ship centered about dashing ex-rapist isn’t a be-all-and-end-all of TV romances. You’re clearly too young to know, but there were stories, books and TV shows before Once Upon a Hook. So, let me tell you a story…

Once upon a time, there was a TV show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Which ended beautifully, when its heroine finally accepted her destiny of a saviour and protector (sounds familiar?) and sacrificed self when she got swallowed by a swirling vortex of darkness (surely, this must ring a bell?) and literally went to hell (or so she thought) to save the person she loved (yes? not yet?) and in the process the whole town (really, stop me if you’ve heard this one before) and the world itself. But then greedy fucking producers sold the rights to another network–and the show moved from Fox to UPN with a new target audience, “young urban crowd”. The result? Two years later, they shat on everything Buffy stood for by they butchering all of the characters (especially the heroine herself, making her dependent on her abuser) to shoehorn a person who clearly wasn’t cut out to be one–into a role of a ‘hero’. You know, by dragging everyone else in the mud, so he could rise and be ‘worthy’ of her. And in the process–laying groundwork for THE ‘tragic vampire romance’ of the century, Twilight–which again, romanticized and popularized ALL similar abusive ‘romantic’ storylines, from 50 Shades all the way to Craptain Swan. 

It does sound familiar now, doesn’t it?

Yes. There isn’t a SINGLE original thing in OUaT, including our personal favourite character, Mayor Mills–who in the beginning eerily resembled Miss Parker (a character from an even older show, that flew under the radar but had phenomenal characters, dynamics and developments) and who was even thrown a random-niceguy  love interest–but the dude got killed to propel her story, which… we’re not that lucky (and sides, would there be any ‘drama’ if Hood died, would anyone give a flying fuck?) anyway. So, yes. I spoke no ‘shitty lies’, but since you clearly don’t know that Google is your friend (which is too bad, a bit of self-education would do your vulgar vocabulary some good) I will confirm that yes, even ‘famous’ Snowing line is a blatant ripoff:  

And yes, it is a.. *gasp* ..lesbian ship! And it is ironic, because even after over 14 years (and it having to be developed strictly in metaphors due to limitations of a portrayal of a ‘socially less accepted’ type of relationship on network television) few lesbian relationships on network TV compare to Willow and Tara in regards to duration and the amount of screen time, to this very day. Now, while instances of lesbian sexuality have become more common (and less coded) since 2002, the number of significant recurring lesbian characters has not increased. Unless it was a minor character, and a gimmick intended to titillate men or garner sweeps ratings–but that is of course due to general hypocrisy. And bigoted homophobic arseholes such as yourself.

And that would be all. Lesson over, see you on exam. But better come fully prepared next time–or I am NOT going to be this nice and you’ll be flunked. 

And THEN I’m going to beat you over the head with your fucking bible.