bianca shepard


(@emmavakarian-theirin: this is your fault. Warnings for death and angst. fShrios.)

One deep, painful breath in. Pain so terrible she couldn’t think. Was she even alive? Was this hell? Was she finally in hell, paying for what she’d done? The world was a blur of ash and smoke. Her eyes fell on electric light in the distance. 

A reaper falling. More burning up in the atmosphere. Like scorching stars. 

It hit her all at once. She was alive. 

Bianca cried. Sobbed. She wanted nothing more than to die and finally be with her lost love. This war took everyone she loved then spat her back out again. Her cries weren’t from pain or the desire to be found. They were anger. She could always rely on anger. 

Even if she didn’t want anyone to hear her in hopes that she would simply expire, footsteps approached to investigate the noise. It seems to emanate from the rock itself like a malevolent spirit. She cracked her eyes open to behold her supposed rescuers. 

“Shepard!” Ashley’s voice grated on her ears. 

Bianca groaned in response. 

“It’s okay, Shepard. We’ll get you out of here. Vega! Come on!" 

They freed the commander’s legs from the crushing debris, and James carried her out to the shuttle. The mucus of tears had freed Bianca’s voice. As she laid on the floor of the shuttle to the camp, she cried some more. Of course, her crew thought it was from pain, and that eventually drew her into a blissful state between conscious and not until the void finally pulled her in. 

Sunshine tugged at her eyelids. The orange forced her awake. She sat up on shifting sand with no ghost of the throbbing aches. Bianca glanced around and saw ocean stretching out far to the Horizon. 


She looked up and saw her love. 

"You’re not supposed to be here yet. I expected to wait for years, Bianca. I-" 

She began to laugh. A dry, hollow sound. "May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead." 

"Bianca. I will miss you until you arrive." 

A delicate frown graced her lips. "I don’t want to live without you. I’ve lived my life, and I want to join you." 

Thane settled beside her and brought an arm around her shoulders to draw her to him. She felt tears running rivers down her cheeks. 

"Siha, you must live. If not for yourself, then live for me. Please." 

"What do you propose I do?" 

"Find new life. And new love. Until it is your time to come to the sea." 

Bianca thought for a moment. She nestled closer. One last time. "Thane, I love you." 

"I love you always." 

The touch faded. The air arounded her smelled of antiseptic. She heard quiet, worried voices. And she cried. 

Exceptions: Round Two

(Bianca Shepard is a Renegade. She loves her crew, though.)

Miranda’s sister was safe. Garrus nearly expected them to just head back to the Normandy. There was something in Shepard’s eyes that told him that wouldn’t be the case. 

“There she is. She’s safe. With her family.” Miranda watched for a moment. “Come on. We should go." 

"Don’t you even want to say hello?” There it is. 

“It’s not about what I want. It’s about what’s right for her. The less she knows about me, the better. She’s got a family. A life. I’ll just complicate that for her.” Don’t resist, Miranda. You know she’s going to press this. 

Shepard’s eyebrows knit together in thought. “She doesn’t need any details, but would it really be so bad for her to know she has a sister who loves her?" 

Miranda looked from Shepard back to Oriana. "I guess not." 

"Go on. We’ll wait here.” A rare, sad smile. 

Shepard drug him back a little to let her go. She leaned against the wall for balance to stretch her legs. At some point she’d run out of ammo and had to continuously use her biotics. Not a preferable situation for her taxed joints. 

“Another soft spot?" 

Bianca chuckled. "Family is important, Garrus. Miranda’s never had something like that. Something normal. I can’t have that for myself. I couldn’t just let her throw it away. Understand?" 

"You ever miss your family, Bianca?" 

"Yes. Don’t we all?" 

"You’ll see them again someday." 

Shepard nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "Mom was pregnant with a baby sister when Mindoir happened. I was sixteen.”

Garrus looked over at her. “That can’t have been easy to live with.”

She found a particularly interesting spot on the floor. “There comes a point when you’re numb to it. A lot of people never reach that, but I have. Still, seeing things like this.”  She gestured to Miranda. “It gives me hope that maybe one day life can be better. That my life can be better. You have to have hope for something like that." 

"Wanna retire somewhere warm and sunny someday?" 

She looked up at him again. "If I live that long, I still have that beachfront property I won back on the SR1. It’s something to look forward to at least.” Bianca sighed in contentment. “She’s coming back. Let’s go." 

"Right behind you. And Shepard?” Bianca paused in front of the elevator. “We’ll get out of this. No matter what." 

She glanced over her shoulder. "We have a long way to go."