“how did you know that it was over? that you should leave him?”, she asks her best friend.
“simple. i asked myself two questions: do i love him? and, does he make me happy?”
“yes, yes i love him. but no, he doesn’t make me happy. and just being in love with someone isn’t enough. if that someone can’t make you happy, all the love in the world can’t help you. you will just end up destroying yourself for someone who isn’t even worth it.”
e.s. // all the love in the world can’t help you.
Don’t look at her. Don’t say her name. Don’t tell me she’s ‘just a friend.’ Don’t tell me that you think of her as a ‘sister.’ Don’t tell me that you think she is pretty or beautiful. Don’t tell me that you like what she’s wearing. Don’t mention how skinny she is. Don’t mention how curvy she is. Don’t notice the color of her eyes. Don’t notice the color of her hair. Don’t hug her. Don’t touch her. Don’t be her friend on Facebook. Don’t follow her on Instagram. Don’t ‘like’ her selfies. Don’t comment on her pictures. Don’t tell her she looks nice today. Don’t tell me about that road trip you took with her. Don’t tell me what you did for her that one time on her birthday. Don’t tell me about how awesome her family is. Don’t tell me about the first time you kissed her. Don’t tell me about what you did in bed together. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to know. I’ll never believe you when you say she no longer means anything to you. Don’t say anything about her, not even once. If you do, I’ll never forget it. It will eat away at me forever. Because I will always look at her and see her as somebody that could make you happy, happier than I could ever make you. I’ll see her as somebody that will give you everything you want. I’ll always think she is prettier than me. I’ll always think you want her more than me. I’ll always see how soft and luscious her hair is. I’ll always see how perfect her body is. I’ll always see how big and sparkly her eyes are. I’ll always see an image of the two of you together in my head. Every time we sit down together at our favorite restaurant, I’ll wonder if the two of you went there first. When you tell me you like that new perfume I’m wearing, I’ll wonder if she used to wear it. Every time we hear a song on the radio, I’ll wonder if it makes you think of her. Every time we’re making love, I’ll wonder if you’re thinking of her. When you tell me that you like the things I do to you, I’ll wonder if she did them to you first. I’ll always wonder if, deep down, you wish you could be with her. I’ll always wonder if you miss her. I’ll always wonder if you want her back. I’ll always wonder if you’re thinking about her. I’ll never feel like I am enough for you. I’ll never feel like you truly let her go.
I don’t want to hear you tell me to not be jealous, I want to see you give me every reason in the world not to be…
If you want to have a successful relationship, don’t talk about your ex’s.
And I guess that’s the way I love you now. It’s different from before, really. It’s not heart beats fast and breath catches or anything, it’s that we understand and know each other by heart. I would smile knowingly when I see you doing something because I know you’d be like that. It’s slow, and it’s reassuring. There’s no pressure, there’s no labels.
THIS IS IMPORTANT: What did he mean by that? “Uh, I’ve often, I do, you know, we’ve all got our [giggles squirming] I definitely have a darker side. And a more sinister, maybe more sexual, being inside me that I think everybody’s got”