beyond where you think you can go

anonymous asked:

nicotinc, itskotiij, 7xsims, winterbjorn and neutralsupply

!! wow !! that is a lot of urls there anon! but if you can bare with me I will go through each one + tell you what I think c:

@nicotinc - honestly where do I start?!?! she has been an inspiration to me from the very beginning, there is nothing that asia cannot do + with every post she doesn’t fail to surprise me from her editing to her writing skills. asia is a must follow not only for her content but who she is as a person too ♡

@itskotiij - this little dumpling is beyond words really, her art, her videos, her memes = 100000000000000% she is so supportive of everyone who she follows + always helps people who are beginning to develop their own art! I can only aspire to be as talented as this little avocado ♡

@7xsims - I love their screenshots, their story and their simblr overall. the hues of red and the glow that every picture has is beautiful! also, they can make handsome and sexy male sims?! wth I am so very jealous!! ♡

@winterbjorn - maddie, maddie, maddie - you are a little angel, always being so supportive + spreading so much positivity but your simblr?! it is truly goals, I love the way she can edit her story posts and they give off a 3D kind of effect, grungy and red hue vibe which I love so much! ♡

@neutralsupply - I have followed every story zina has posted! her writing skills always pull me in + look at her sims?!?! wth every single one of them is absolutely gorgeous + take a look at her cc too! I especially love the sashay away dress! ♡

A-Z NSFW: Baekhyun

Originally posted by progamerbyun

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 
While he’s kind of a spastic mess, he’s a very tender lover. He doesn’t want to do anything to hurt you or cause you discomfort, and he knows how much his style of sex affects you, so he’s very keen on aftercare. He’s got a thing about smells, so I can see after being rubbed down with a warm rag or after a shower, he’ll give you a little massage with some sweet smelling lotion just to make sure you’re really soft and clean and happy.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
For him, his favorite body part is his hands(see to Kink for more). On you, he loves your legs. he loves how the warm skin wraps around his hips, how soft they feel beneath his fingers, not to mention when they’re surrounding his head…

C = Cum 
For the most part, he comes in you. But every once in a while he likes having you on your knees, and he gets to paint your chest. Of course, being the oh so loving man he is, he makes sure to clean you off too, it’s only fair since he made the mess anyways.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 
It’s not technically a secret, but what he really does with it is a secret. Of course, being with Baekhyun means he’s away on tours a lot, and after a long discussion of making sure no fucking one would see them besides him, you let him take a few pictures of yourself…for him to take with him on tour. But he didn’t tell you that he kind of uses them daily, when you’re not around and he’s locked in the bathroom…

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
This little bitch….anyways, EXO laugh at too many dick jokes for me to ever believe he’s an innocent baby, I don’t know if he’s put it to good use, but that boy knows too much already. If anything, EXO are pro porn watchers, fight me. Baekhyun’s hips and mouth and fingers…….he’s got the tools, and he knows how to work them.

F = Favorite position
Baekhyun’s a guy that I feel really likes just chilling, laying back, and letting you ride the fuck out of him. He likes that he can have somewhat control, holding your hips, guiding your speed or just holding you still so he can thrust up into you. Or his personal favorite, is you topping, laying your torso against his and letting him hold you, while you grind away.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Do you know who we’re talking about here? Baekhyun can’t hold a serious face if it meant saving his life. He’s nothing but a ball of breathless giggles in the bedroom, there’s not a serious moment in there.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
Baek’s so soft and mushy I love it…we’ve seen his tummy fucking hell the abs pics I just looked at for this part fml and his tummy is pretty clean, no trail. So I think he trims pretty well, I don’t think he’s bare, just keeps it nice and neat.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Baekhyun isn’t that romantic in the bedroom, beside telling you his love and adoration for you, most of his romance is reserved for the non-sexual part of your romance, where he tries to go above and beyond with roses and fancy dinners. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
You’re not able to be around as much as he gets horny, so Baek jerks off more than he’d like to admit. He’s pretty sneaky about it, and can do it in record speed too. Anyone would think he just went to the bathroom, but nah, he’s just in there jerkin’ it.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
It’s kind of weird, but he has a kink for his own fingers. They’re so long and slender and so so pretty when they’re trailing across your skin, making your body so hypersensitive to his touch especially when he’s thrusting them in and out of your core.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Baek, while a hyper brat, is pretty lazy when he’s got time off. He’s just lounging around the living room most of the time, watching tv and eating, so naturally that’s where you are too. Aaaand that means he’s not going to give a damn about moving into the bedroom when he’s horny. Honestly at this point, when EXO has time off, and you’re at the dorm, it’s pretty much an unspoken rule that the boys stay out of the dorm, or at least give a hour heads up before returning.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
He’s such a little shit all the time, the thing that turns him on the most is when you’re the one being a little shit. Giving him those intense looks that he knows the meaning to, brushing his thigh teasingly, lowering your voice to almost a whisper. He’s basically pushing you to the bedroom after that.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He’s more goofy and is on the same level with you in most things, dominance isn’t his thing at all. You or him,  he’d rather you be equal in the bedroom.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
The amazing vocalist he is, his tongue was designed by the gods for greatness, and greatness meaning going down on you. He’s a god, you don’t know if he’s trying to please you or kill you, honestly the outcome is the same. He’s going to kill you with his tongue. Your grave will say ‘died with byun baekhyun between my thighs’. Bless you. On the flip side, he’s a horny little toad and it would never cross his mind to reject a bj, he practically gets on his knees to beg you to get on yours.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Baekhyun’s what I like to call a jackrabbit fucker. He’s got such a fast and hard(not so much rough) pace it’s almost unbearable…almost. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He’s not the biggest fan of quickies, he normally isn’t very satisfied with one round, let alone a quick one, and he doesn’t like that, or knowing you’re not really satisfied yet either. In the rare occasions they happen, it always ends with a promise that he’ll make it up to you later, when he can really get his hands on you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
While he is kind of freaky dinky, I don’t think he’s that outrageous with sex. A few picks out of a kamasutra  book, a few new toys, one time you snuck into one of the other members’ room, but nothing leaves the house. No public sex or anything, he’s a mess when he’s home. I mean what’s the worst that’ll happen? The boys see Baekhyun naked? Yeah, like that’s anything new… 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He does the very most…all the time. Baekhyun is such an excited puppy, he never tires out, how does he do it, what coffee does he drink, I need to know. His stamina is insanely high, he can go for probably 20 minutes(actual sex), and can last at least three rounds on the minimum. If you get in bed with Baekhyun, expect a long night.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
I think Baekhyun would have a few toys, just some basic ones. He has some handcuffs hidden away, and a few small vibratos so he can have at his mercy and he can play with you all night long. The idiot definitely has stupid condoms, like glow in the dark and star wars themed ones…dork…

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
We all know Baekhyun is a little shit, he starts with Xiumin, eggs on Soo(cmon yall know he does it on purpose), mocks the fuck out of Tao, he’s a full blown toddler. And he’s just the same in the bedroom, you’ll probably have to threaten to kick him in the neck to get him to get on with it, he can and will tease you until you’re pretty much in tears. Little shit…

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Listen….the boy’s a vocalist….have y’all heard him sing? Do I have to explain the high notes? Do I really? Well anyways, y’all might as well just record your sessions, SM might be able to weave some of them high notes into a new hit song for EXO. Baekhyun is so vocal and loud in the bedroom, I almost want to recommend you ear plugs, he might bust your ear drum while he busts a nut.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Bacon is a joke, I know it’s not funny to make fun of foreign names, but my Nana can’t seem to understand how to fit the Hyun into that, tbh she only has like three teeth so maybe she just can’t….anyways, it was a joke, that you got ‘Baekhyun’ Lube, and of course he was like ‘tf you talking about did SM do some weird fucking shit and put out a BDSM line of exo shiz or????’ ‘nah babe it’s bacon flavor. get it? bacon? baekhyun? lol’
side note, don’t even try bacon lube, it tastes like ass

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Baekhun does one of the best tuck jobs in EXO and it makes me mad, Suho out there jumping in front of a stadium of fans with his dick slappin his leg, and this little bastard can’t give us more than just a few bulge pics? Smh. Anyways, Nana’s word is law when it comes to talking dicks, and in the wise words of my 60 year old grandma, “he ain’t big, shorty, but he’s like…a humper…like a bunny just goin’ at it. it ain’t big, but he sure fucks you wild.” I don’t know what that means, but I’m going with it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He’s like an excited puppy, he’s always trying to hump your leg…metaphorically, that is. He’s always itching to get his hands on you, it’s a wonder he manages to remember to eat and shower when all he can think about is how to get you back in the bedroom with him and out of your clothes.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Baekhyun’s a very clingy and lovey baby, we all know this. You can’t get him out your hair in most aspects of your relationship, and post sex isn’t any different. He wants to curl up with you, naked as ever, and sleep with his love, he’s not even going to attempt to move from that bed for a good few hours, have a nice nap y’all, congrats on gettin that good dicc.

stay

( i’ve been loving you for quite some time )

Summary: Being a camp counselor combines all your favorite things: kids, high adventure activities, campfires, campfire songs, watching the stars fly overhead, and a singular being who takes the name of Park Jimin.
Pairing: Jimin | Reader
Genre: Fluff; Camp Counselor AU
Word Count: 12,854
Author’s Note: If any of you guys remember, I did a little camp counselor Jimin drabble for this 100 WTSILY collab I’m doing and it sparked this desire for me to expand and create more on that little world, hence where the previous inspiration came from. & !! @minsvga !! because she supported this story since the planning stages and endured the 23+ texts i had to send just to get the story to her because china does not support communication via any types of social media and apparently trying to send a 12k text is “uncalled for” on iMessages. 

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It’s summertime, and the first few weeks had been brutal. The overpowering heat spent all its time trying to leak in through the closed windows of your house, trying to sink in through the walls, and had actually succeeded from most of its attempts—as a result, making your apartment feel not unlike an oven and letting you just boil on the very spot you stood. Your nights would be filled with laying on top of the covers, trying to will yourself not to sweat in your sleep; your days filled with sitting on the couch or debating whether or not it was worth running to your car just to drive to the mall or to the nearest Starbucks to suck in as much free air conditioner as you could muster.

Not to say that those things still aren’t relevant in your daily life, but things are only different in the slightest because today, you are in a car, drumming your fingers on the skin of your knee as your mom finally makes the turn into a parking lot. Before you, a bus lay ahead of you, a good few dozen or so other kids lingering about, either interacting with others or shifting back and forth amongst the crowd in order to try and get their duffle bags and backpacks loaded onto the bus. You recognize the pillows, the sleeping bags, the light baggage to avoid carrying too much and to avoid having too much to think about. You would know, because you are in a very similar situation—your own pillow tucked underneath your arm, your sleeping bag compressed as best as possible within your duffle bag, enough clothes to last the duration.

You know the protocol because you’ve endeared the pre-summer-camp excitement multiple times in the past, five consecutive years as a camp counselor to be more specific. Yet, you find yourself constantly returning back as a counselor because you absolutely love it. You love interacting with the kids, getting to spend some time up in the mountains where the sky was clearer, as was the lake and the meadows and every other seemingly insignificant thing that has plagued your memory over the past five summers.

You love getting to hang around other individuals who share your interests, who share your excitement for the outdoors and adventures. Speaking of other individuals, you immediately catch sight of a familiar face dashing his way towards you, bright smiles and wide grins to reflect what the next few weeks up in the mountains are going to be like.

“Y/N!” He exclaims, joining your side as soon as your mom pulls into a parking space and lets you know it’s okay to exit the vehicle. “Hey!”

Keep reading

Notes on: radical aloneness

Last fall, I presented a paper on relationship anarchy. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term (or concept), it can loosely be understood as a style of interpersonal relationships that doesn’t prioritize or hierarchialize relationships with others based on what takes place within them, at least a priori. In short, there’s a uniqueness to each relationship which makes their translation between relationships difficult to gather––a kind of ineffability that gets lost or violated in the transition. So, for example, you may relate with someone in a way that tends to be more like friendship: perhaps you sometimes get together for coffee, talk about things that are going on with your life, go for walks, make dinner together sometimes, etc––but, sometimes you mess around, not too often, but sometimes. Then, you may have another relationship that is a bit more weighty––for one reason or another it’s got a trajectory that shoots out into the future, a place where you may see yourself growing vegetables and living together, sharing projects, intertwining intricately. And then, just to have more than two examples, you may have a friend that is more traditionally just a friend: you watch hockey together, talk about books you’ve been reading, get a drink, whatever. There’s a complex calculus taking place in all of these relationships, a shifting definition, murky waters, not only interrelationship but intrarelationship, as well––just because you fucked around last time doesn’t mean it’ll definitely happen this time, just because you didn’t hold one another last time doesn’t mean you won’t this time, etc. 


The point being is that, out of the gate, you can’t prioritize based on the activities that go on within the relationship––the only thing that can be said is that the relationships differ. Now, in lived experience, you may want to spend more time with the person who you see yourself growing vegetables with (this is one of the miserable aporias of existence: love seems infinite, but time isn’t…) but this isn’t because you have sex or because you don’t have sex, it isn’t because they’re “more than a friend” or whatever coarse terminology is hoisted upon it––it’s because that’s the way that relationship goes, its particular mode––you require more time with them for one reason or another: they ignite you, they unravel you beautifully, they support you unflinchingly, they catalyze splendid complexity and nuance.

After I presented this paper, I spent some time with one of my former professors, a vibrant and shimmering man with a long philosophical history, but more importantly an insatiable thirst for life, gaiety, and joy––his continuing project being resolutely existential and affirmative. As we rode the bus late at night, he said to me something to the effect of: I absolutely loved your paper, why would we ever want people to be with us who don’t want to be with us? Why would we ever want to exercise power and control over loved ones, for that negates or corrodes love, rots it constitutionally. And then, in passing, right before I got on the bus I was transferring to without him, he said something to the effect of: what you need to be able to do relationship anarchy well is an incredible amount of radical aloneness. At the time, this comment slid right off me, it didn’t stick for an instant longer than hearing it and offering a surface response without thinking, “Yeah, you’re right, I think.”

What does radical aloneness mean, anyway. To me, it’s some sort of commitment to your shit, what you’ve got going on, a wellness and health that supports engagements with others, comes to the rescue when you want to lash out and heave at others, take people down because of your own insecurities. One who has cultivated an abundant radical aloneness can let the other be because they’ve got their own projects and projections, their own vital flow. If the one they love wants to be with others for whatever reason, they can be upset and bothered, even jealous of course, but on the whole everything is okay, for they are fecundity. You only know you haven’t cultivated radical aloneness when it’s too late, when you need it, unfortunately. Radical aloneness shouldn’t be equated with the singular or the individual either––sometimes radical aloneness means that you have fostered relationships with others that support you and supplement you. Other times radical aloneness means being actually alone, but alone is of course always populated by others as well, even if you’re alone in space at a given time.

Events of late have lead to reflect upon the ways that I create, sustain, and tend to my sense of radical aloneness. I think that, in other circles, this would be taken up as self-care, but this is unfortunate, I think. Radical aloneness can encompass what is broadly construed as self-care, sure, but sometimes radical aloneness means fleeing the self, evacuating the self’s rigid postures and habits, and setting out on unforeseen trails––instead of watching over the self, dismantling the self, letting the light shine in, opening up a window, cracking things up a bit. Maybe I’m being too fine with distinctions, but I think there’s a difference. Beyond that, I think that radical aloneness is the wellspring of being with others confidently and creatively: it is from this shimmering becoming that we can glow with others, connect with others in productive and dazzling ways. Radical aloneness as generative and combinatorial, experimental and stochastic, seeking to build and proliferate. Sometimes self-care is necessary to do this: sometimes you just need someone to make you an avocado sandwich, but an avocado sandwich isn’t going to propel you into radiance, just get you into the position where you can once again have the opportunity to luxuriate.

Maybe in subsequent posts I can explore the ways in which I cultivate this radical aloneness, or perhaps the times when it would have been immensely useful to have access to. 

HOW TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU STUDY

As a psychology student, I have studied about Memory; its encoding, storage and retrieval process, how memory is organised in our minds, and how we can improve our memory. 

Studying involves using our memory because we may need to remember excessive information at a time during examinations, or to understand complex concepts which may include a lot of numbers, formulas, or labeling of diagrams etc. Therefore, I feel that knowing some memory techniques or knowing how to remember or retrieve what we’ve already learnt will be extremely useful for students or even for people who work. 

There are many suggested ways in which we can improve our memory. There are some memory aids we may use like making Mnemonics, which is a technique which relies on the linking of ‘to-be-remembered’ information with an organised set of images or words that are already firmly established in our long-term memory and can therefore serve as reminder cues. To make this definition easier, we can imagine a cloakroom where “reminder cues” are pegs and the “to-be-remembered” information is hung on these pegs! For example, to remember the names of Great Lakes we can associate the first letter of every lake with the word HOMES - Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior. 

Another Mnemonic device is ‘Stories You Tell Yourself’ which is to relate the information in a made-up story. For example, if we need to remember the following list of words; lumberjack, dart, skate, hedge, colony duck, furniture, stocking, pillow, mistress 
We can remember these unrelated items by relating them together in a story we make up. The made up story might go as follows: “a lumberjack darted out of the forest, skated around a hedge past a colony of ducks. he tripped on some furniture, tearing his stocking, while rushing toward the pillow where his mistress lay.” 

Yet another technique is Chunking. It simply means grouping or combining certain parts of information and remembering those chunks of information instead of the whole information all together. For example, if we are required to remember a credit card number- 19141609007, it would help to break down the number into chunks. The first four numbers can be remembered as an year in history, the next four numbers can be chunked as a date too, while the last three numbers form a chunk which is easy to remember by itself. 

For all the above techniques it is important to use our originality, creativity or imagination, because that would enable us to remember what we have learnt more clearly and accurately. It is  important to understand that these techniques help us to remember what we have learnt more clearly because we are LINKING or ASSOCIATING new information with ALREADY STORED information in our minds. 



Mnemonics are fun to use and can be helpful in remembering many things. We all want to remember what we need to know in courses or in our work, as we can best and so we will need to go beyond the mnemonic techniques


1. Study is work and takes time

We all have been in a situation where we leave homework or essays till the last day because we think it won’t take as much time. But, we all regret it later because studying is work, and it definitely takes up time. So, plan a schedule that you can stick to. During the time you set aside for study, work at it instead of talking to your friends or spending massive amounts of time on Instagram/Tumblr/Youtube. If we spend that time scheduled for study by studying, we will find that we still have plenty of time left for other activities.  

2. Rehearse the Information

Rehearsal is simply keeping the new information at the center of attention by repeating it silently or aloud. The more an item of information is rehearsed, the more likely it is to be remembered, because it will get transferred to our long-term memory. In the last few years, experiments have indicated that the sheer amount of rehearsal may be less important than the ways in which the information is rehearsed. Maintenance rehearsal is simply going over and over what is to be remembered. It is a passive repetition of the information (merely repeating the information). Elaborative rehearsal is more likely to succeed because it involves organizing and giving meaning to the information as it is being rehearsed. It is an active process of repetition- thinking about what is being rehearsed in an effort to relate it to other things that we know or are learning. 

3. Organize the Information

While rehearsing, we will start to organize or arrange the information into categories, groups or in a way which makes “sense” to us. This is called Organizational Encoding. We may make tables, charts, diagrams, separate information through headings, subheadings or paragraphs, make groups or categories to organize the information. We can do this both mentally or/and also on paper through making notes.

4. Test Yourself

After planning, rehearsing and organizing the information try to get an idea of how much you remember. If you study by breaking the study material into parts, test yourself after each part. Go back over what you have studied using the organized material (headings, pointers, diagrams, tables, flashcards etc) as reminder cues.This will tell you what you know and what you need to work on. By testing ourselves, we will also be practicing our retrieval skills. 

5. Revise/Review before Examination

We may forget many details we learned. Use the organization of the study material and go back over the things you have forgotten, relearning them the way you learned them in the first place. It is important to relearn the information in the same way because the information is already stored and organized and just needs brushing up, so following the same path of learning will speed up the process of remembering what you have learnt. Revising/reviewing should also be based on the type of examination you are taking. Long answer type/essay type questions will usually look for major ideas and experiments which support the information. Trying to think of what the questions will be ahead of time and practicing the answers to them is a good idea. For MCQ’s/objective type questions be sure to know the definitions of words and also be able to recognize a word through a definition. However, that being said this doesn’t mean to neglect certain terms or ideas for any examination; just give a little emphasis, depending on the type of examination. 



To conclude, studying to remember involves planning, rehearsal, organization, feedback or testing, review/revision, and over-learning. It is a word psychologists use for the phrase “practice makes perfect”. Studies have shown that such “over-learning” works to reduce the amount forgotten. 



Credits: psychandchill

References: Introduction to Psychology by Clifford T. Morgan, Richard A. King, John R. Weisz and John Schopler

Anger

Hello everybody! Hope you’ll like this one shot, as it’s a little different than my previous ones. I experimented with asshole-harry as I announced earlier this week.

Summary: Y/N loves Harry to pieces, however, not when he switches from being the nicest man to the complete opposite whenever he’s angry.

Warning: There are hints on sexual assault. ( Not rape !!! ) In case you’re sensitive to that subject, please do not read. It’s something I have no experience in and I really tried be careful while writing.

This gif isn’t mine, but oh my, look at him! 

I’d seen him angry before, and a few times his anger had even been directed to me, but never had he got as loud as he was being now. Harry’s clear green eyes were cold and held none of the love they were usually filled with whenever he looked at me. Instead, they bore into my gaze as sharp as blades while the voice I knew as calm and gentle turned loud and spat one insult after the other. All the while my headache increased into a pounding pain and my heart hammered in my chest as I witnessed him punch the wall to his side in frustration, completely unfazed by my flinch.

“You’re so fucking naive, Y/N!” Harry shouted and gave another forceful kick to the door frame separating me from him as I stood in the living room and he in his kitchen.

“Sometimes I question what the hell it is that’s taking up the space in you head you’d need to think properly for fucking once! I’d bet that there’s absolutely nothing in there!” He pointed against his own temple before raising his hand to point at me with a trembling finger.

“You don’t mean that, Harry,” I answered, my voice barely above a whisper as my throat felt as if it was in a tight knot.

My words were followed by his foot colliding with a chair and I crossed my arms over my chest as I willed myself not to jerk again. Though Harry was clearly more angry than he’d ever been in my presence, I knew he’d never direct the physical aspect of his rage at me.

“Oh, you better believe I do, baby!” he replied, the pet name cutting into me by the harshness in which he spat it, “You can be such a pain in the arse sometimes! I seriously wonder why I even bother anymore!”

“Stop it,” I begged and shook my head as if to keep the foul words to enter my mind.

“You wanna know why?” Harry asked, ignoring my plead. His ringed hand pulled at the sleeves of his jumper until they exposed his heavily tattooed arms, arms I was so used to holding me. His gentle gestures  seemed something of a dream as the man before me resembled nothing to the kind boyfriend I knew.

“No,” I replied and my voice hitched, “Harry, just stop.”

Finally his eyes met mine again and for a second, I believed I saw how it dawned on him, that this time, he’d gone too far. Harry knew that he couldn’t take his anger out on me. That I wouldn’t take it as I wasn’t one of the guys who just dealt with his moods.
I bit my lip as my ears still rang from his loudly spoken words. The room had gone quiet aside form the noises of distress that were escaping me still as I tried to calm myself down so I wouldn’t have a break down in front of him.

“Y/N, listen, I-”

I shook my head and stepped back. “No.”

He’d lost himself in front of me before, however, never like this. Never had he got this harsh with me. Early on in our relationship, I’d learned that Harry could very easily snap and switch from being the nicest person in the world, to the complete opposite. He’d become a person he had no control over and said or did the most hurtful things that came to his mind.
Though I somehow knew it wasn’t his fault, I’d made it clear that I couldn’t handle him when he got angry and Harry had understood that.
He took a step forward, yet stopped immediately when I raised my hand.

“You know you can’t be like that with me, Harry.”

A hiss fell from his lips and I watched him roll his eyes before he let his head roll back. Any sign of kindness left his face as he clearly found my words beyond ridiculous.
“Wow, Y/N. You’re really gonna pull that shit on me?”

“What shit?” I questioned.

“The: ‘Oh Harry, you’re just too mean to me. I can’t take it.’ bullshit. Come off of it. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

He turned around and walked to the sink where he filled himself a glass of water, as if the conversation was over to him.

“Is it really, Harry?” I asked and stepped forward, refusing to let it go, “You just called me stupid and your burden! Did you think I would just be okay with it?”

“No, but I-”

“You’re my boyfriend! How can you speak to me like that?”

“Stop making this a bigger deal than what it is,” Harry spoke dismissively.

He raised his hand and brought the glass to his lips, emptying it with a few gulps before setting it down so harshly I feared it’d break.

“You know my day has been nothing but shit,” I continued, “And then you go on and yell, when all I needed was for you to be there for me. Just today, Harry! For once, it could have been about someone other than you!”

This struck a nerve as he raised his eyebrows and I knew that now I’d angered him properly. I willed my feet not to move back when he, with a few strides, came to a stand in front of me. His face held an angry expression and his figure loomed over my shorter one, making me feel incredibly small.
My breath hitched when he leaned in closely and raised his hand to caress my cheek in a surprisingly gentle gesture. A grin appeared on his beautiful face at my reaction. There was no remorse or guilt in his eyes. Only anger and the knowledge that he’d found someone to take it out on.

“I always make everything about myself?” he wondered quietly, “Now you’re lying and you know that. How many times have you called me only to have somebody who’d listen to you bawling your eyes out?”

A quiet laugh escaped him and my heart dropped to my stomach. I shrugged off his touch. How dare he? Harry had become the only person I felt comfortable enough with to confide into and now he was so willing to rub it in my face. I knew he could be an asshole, but never like this.

“You jerk!” I hissed and pushed him back by his chest.

“How many times, huh?” he continued, the cruel smile still on his lips, as my forceful action had done nothing to him, “How often did I have to listen to your complaints while I was with the boys? My friends all with a girl on their lap and me with mine crying to me over the phone. They all got some while my phone bill got more and more expensive by the minute.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged.

“If only your problems would have at least made a good story to tell them later. Would’ve saved me some mocking, not gonna lie.”

“Harry!” I whimpered as tears stained my cheeks, “You said I could trust you with that.”

“Well, what else was I supposed to say?” he mocked me.

I shook my head before pushing past him, knocking into his shoulder in process. I made my way to the door with Harry following close behind.

“Where are you running to now, babe?”

I hastily slipped on my shoes before putting on my coat.

“Anywhere away from you, asshole!” I replied as I yanked the door open, only for it to be pushed close with force by his hand, preventing me from exiting his apartment.
My breath hitched when he stepped even closer, his breath fanning over my neck and his body heat radiating off on me. It was almost ironic really, given how cold he was being right now.

“And why would you do that, darling?” Harry purred into my ear as he leaned in close.

“I cannot deal with you when you’re being like this!” I spoke, still refusing to face him “and you know full well that you just crossed a line.”

I pulled at the door handle once more and groaned in frustration when it didn’t budge.

“Now let me out, for god’s sake! I’m done with you!”

“Fucking fine!” he exclaimed and let go of the door, allowing me to pull it back open and stepping out of his apartment with rage cursing through my veins and a broken heart thumbing in my chest.

….

My head was dizzy and my feet ached. After I had spent the last week falling right into bed the minute I got home where I cried and cursed Harry for being the asshole he was, one of my friends had decided that she’d had enough of it. She’d pushed me into a shower, forced me into one of her too-tight and too-short dresses and then dragged me to her favorite club. A place, where she was quick to abandon me at, so she could socialize with the dozens of people she knew.

I wrapped my bare arms around my waist and bit my lip. I didn’t want to be here, alone and surrounded by drunken strangers. At least, whenever Harry had brought me to a club, he’d never left my side. It had even been fun sometimes. But Harry hadn’t tried to reach out to me all week, not a call and not one single text. My eyes stung at the thought and I cursed myself for relying on him so much. That needed to change.
I stepped into the pool of dancing people. My body easily found the rhythm to the music and soon the awkwardness faded as I let myself relax.
However, it all faded when all of a sudden two hands settled on my hips and a body pressed itself against my back. I struggled to turn around, but once I did my breath hitched. I’d never seen the stranger who held me to him before.

“Aren’t you a pretty one?” he spoke, his voice deep as it came out like a low grunt.

The man wasn’t exactly unattractive, yet he made me feel incredibly uncomfortable given how close he’d come, uninvited. His hair was blond and his figure tall and muscly as he towered over me. The stranger grinned when he noticed my gaze as he probably believed I was checking him out.

“Like what you see, babe?” he questioned and pulled me closer.

He, too, eyed me up and down with piercing blue eyes and a sickening feeling crawled up my throat as I noticed how his tall figure allowed him a perfect view down my dress. An approving hum escaped him and my entire body tensed.

“Let go,” I fought and tried to shrug off his hold. He, however, only tightened his grip on my waist.

“Now, now, we don’t want to make this a mess, do we? Wouldn’t wanna ruin all the fun we’re gonna have.”

I grimaced as his breath, smelling heavily of alcohol, hit my face and shook my head, my eyes searching for my friend. My body jumped when a pair of lips found the skin of my cheek in a wet kiss.

“Stop it! Get off of me!”

The stranger huffed and I whined when he moved to take hold of my hands. Before I knew it, I was pulled through the crowd of people and towards a darker corner from the club. All my struggles were for nothing and I cried out in frustration when I couldn’t loosen his hold.
Once we reached his desired destination, he pressed me up against the wall and positioned his body so that it shielded mine.
Frightful tears escaped my eyes as I realized that no one would come to my aid now. The man forced my arms up to press them both against the wall with one hand. The other settled onto my stomach as he began moving his palm, searching for any bare skin.

“Please, stop,” I whimpered and my body froze in shock from the unwanted touch.

“I didn’t come here by myself. My boyfriend,” I began to lie desperately, when his fingers found the hem of my dress, “he’s going to look for me, and-”

“I have been watching you,” the man interrupted me and I whimpered when his wet mouth pressed to the skin of my neck, liking and biting the skin. “There isn’t anyone with you. No need to try to make me jealous, baby.”

More tears fell from my eyes and my wrists hurt from his tight hold on them. I gasped when his knees pressed into my legs in an attempt to get them to part, crushing me further into the cold stone.

“C'mon baby,” he cooed, “be good for me.”

I whimpered and my lungs struggling for breath when the guy began to nip and suck on my skin.

“I don’t want to,” I repeated against his ear, my head dizzy from fear, “please stop.”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing there?”

My stomach clenched in relief at the familiar voice, coming from right beside me and a small cry escaped my lips. Harry. I looked up and my eyes found his face, yet he his eyes weren’t set on me. Instead, his furious gaze was directed on the man who didn’t make any effort to let me go, while I tried to set all my focus onto Harry, desperately clinging to any distraction from the man assaulting me.

“Go away,” the stranger grunted, his head still pressed into my shoulder. “You can have your go when I’m done.”

My heart fell at the rough words and I whimpered, trying to shake off the man’s hold. Harry’s eyes darkened when he saw my attempts at freeing myself and for a moment his angry glare found my face.

“Don’t think that’s gonna work for me,” he growled, “Now do as I said.”

The stranger groaned in frustration and still remove himself, though, I knew if he’d see Harry’s angered expression he’d let go instantly.

“Mate, fuck off alre-”

The man cursed when he was swiftly pulled from my body, but was silenced when Harry knocked him further back with another forceful push to his shoulders.
My body came to life the moment my attacker let go and my lungs filled with all the air they’d been denied for too long. I quickly raised my aching arms to pull down my dress, covering the skin the man had managed to expose and I willed myself not to break into hysterics at the fear mixed with relief I felt. Harry had already positioned himself in front of me when I looked back up and warmth flooded through my body as I knew I was no longer in danger.

“You. Leave,” Harry said and raised a warning finger at the stranger, “Now. Or else I will rip off your head.”

Harry’s voice stayed surprisingly quiet and calm, yet his tone as sharp as a blade. My mind shot back to when Harry had raised his voice at me only a week ago and though I’d been afraid, I realized that I hadn’t seen the truly angry Harry then. Truly furious Harry wasn’t loud, but calm. He neither shout nor yell. This was even scarier, because there was no sign that could have indicated when he’d snap.
The blonde guy glared at Harry, anger clear in his eyes, yet I could tell that he wasn’t immune to Harry’s intimidating aura and he took a step back.

“What the hell, man? Wasn’t doing any harm, now was I?”

Harry’s back muscles tensed and I reached out to brush my fingers over his shoulder blades in an attempt to calm him. “Harry-”

“No harm?” Harry growled and took a step towards the man and out of my reach, “You were just molesting my girlfriend and you call that no harm?”

“Hey, c'mon man. She didn’t say anything 'bout a boyfriend,” the stranger defended in a nervous chuckle and looked around Harry as if he expected me to help him.

“But she told you 'no’ and you just ignored that.”

My chest tightened and I wished Harry would stop taunting him and let the strangers leave, if only so that we could go home.

“Harry, please let’s go,” I pleaded quietly.

It surprised me just as much as the two men how high and frantic my voice sounded, as if I’d cry at any moment. Green eyes found mine when he turned around and to my relief, a quick nod followed.

“I’ll let you off for it now,” Harry said, directed to the man but he was still looking at me, “but rest assured that I’m gonna remember you.”

His warm hand found my small one and once more I was pulled through the crowd of people. My feet struggled to keep up with Harry’s long strides but we both refused to let go of our interlocked fingers and so he slowed his pace a bit. He continued to pull me until we stepped outside where my aching lungs happily breathed in the fresh air. Finally he came to a halt in front of a black car that I recognized as his. He gently squeezed my fingers once more before releasing them so that he could unlock the vehicle.

“Harry, I-”

He silenced me by raising his hand. “Not here.”

Harry nodded towards the exit we had just come out of and I noticed a group of people staring at us. Of course they wanted to see what the famous Harry Styles was doing in a non-fancy club.

“We’ll talk in private, yeah? Get inside.”

“My friend, she-” I began, my voice shaking as I still hadn’t stopped trembling.

“I’ll text her later,” Harry interrupted, “I’ll let her know that you’re with me.”

He nodded to his car once more and this time I was quick to obey without questioning anything further. I settled into the passenger seat and the moment Harry sat down behind the steering wheel, my hand already reached out to take hold of his. Harry chuckled softly and squeezed my hand.

“Love, I need that hand for changing the gear,” he spoke quietly and lifted my hand to his lips where he pressed a kiss to the skin before gently setting it down onto my thigh.

He shot me a gentle smile, started the engine and drove off.
A breath escaped me and I relaxed further back into the leather seat. Every muscle in my body felt sore and it took everything I had to keep the tears at bay as I was crushed with emotion.

“Harry.”

“We’ll be at my flat in a bit, love. Okay?” Harry assured me calmly, “Will you be alright until then or do you need me to pull over?”

“No, it’s fine,” I murmured.

Harry nodded and reached forward to turn on the radio, knowing that the music would ease me.

….

“How did you know where to find me?”

I was sitting on one of Harry’s barstools in his kitchen, my torso dressed Harry’s Rolling Stone’s shirt and a pair of his black boxers hung from my hips. My fingers held the cup of hot chocolate Harry had made me as I stared up at Harry who stood in front of me. Both of our hair was wet after we’d taken turns at showering and the wet strands dropped onto his bare chest. Normally, his nakedness would have had me drooling over him, but after tonights events I was simply grateful that Harry and I had somehow forgotten about our argument.

“I have your friend on snapchat for some reason,” he replied while buttering the toast he was preparing for me, insisting that I needed to eat something. “Was receiving one picture of you two after the other, until it was only her. Figured something was going on.”

“She was excited to go,”  I muttered.

Harry shot me a glance and handed me the toast before taking a sip from his tea. “She’s a shit friend, Y/N. You shouldn’t hang out with her anymore.”

“She was trying to cheer me up,” I weakly defended her, but I knew he was right.

“Yeah, and then she left you alone with a pervert who would have done god knows what to you, if I hadn’t seen him pull you to the side.”

I whimpered at his words and put away the piece of bread as all the appetite was gone. Harry sighed and set down his cup before leaning down to wrap both of his arms around my waist. I quickly buried my face into his neck and  closed my eyes, breathing in the comforting smell of him as I allowed him to lift me up.

“M'sorry,” Harry murmured, “didn’t mean for that to come out this harsh. I know you’re shaken up by all this.”

“It’s okay,” I whispered back and cuddled myself further into Harry’s chest.

I welcomed his closeness and the security he provided as my heart slowly began to calm down.

“My baby,” Harry hummed against the shell of my ear, before his lips found my neck, “S'all over now, okay? S'done.”

“I know,” I whispered, and tried to push away the memory of a different pair of lips that had touched the same spot only hours ago.

Sensing that I was uncomfortable he tightened his hold and hoisted me up. “C'mon. We should go to bed.”

I nodded and allowed him to carry me to his bedroom. My body was placed onto the bed and I smiled when Harry carefully covered me with his bedsheets.

“Good?” he asked, “Warm enough?”

He waited for my nod before slipping under the sheets himself.

“I like that we’ve slept together in your bed so often that we have established sides,” I whispered.

Harry chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist so I could lay my head on his chest. “S'your bed as much as it’s mine, love. And if m'not wrong, your 'side’ is on top of me.”

I giggled and nodded, knowing how true his statement was.

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Much,” I replied, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he hummed and took a deep breath before asking, “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No, Harry. He didn’t.”

He nodded and pressed a kiss to my head. “M'glad.”

I hummed and cuddled my face further into his neck, my arms squeezing him tightly. The room was quiet aside from our breathing or the occasional kisses we left on each other’s skin. I took a deep breath as I let myself be consumed by him, happiness flooding my body at the relief.

“I never want to go that long without talking again,” I confessed.

Harry sighed. “I need to say sorry for that, don’t I? Was being such an asshole.”

“Yeah, you were.”

Harry moved so that he could hover over my body. His lips found my collarbones in a soft kiss and his hands squeezed my waist. His green eyes settled on my face and it warmed my body when I noticed how loving and warm they were.

“I love you and I’m so sorry, Y/N. I promise to never be like that with you again.”

“I don’t want you to be like that with anyone, though,” I replied and leaned forward to kiss his cheek softly. “You’re so much better than that.”

“I know,” he whined and reorganized the blankets so he could cover our heads with them as well.

I giggled at the makeshift cave he’d created and moved my hands to hold him by his neck, so I could make out where his face was in the sudden darkness. His own fingers found the hem of the shirt I was wearing and began moving his thumb against the skin of my hips.

“You did hold your ground, though. Was quite proud of that.”

“Shouldn’t have to,” I replied, “I get that arguments are bound to happen in a relationship, but not like this, Harry. Can’t have you purposely hurt me just 'cause you’re angry.”

I gasped when another kiss was pressed to my jaw and giggled when his hair tickled my cheek. This gentle and kind Harry was the person I loved and was used to. Of course I didn’t want to end our relationship, but I knew I never wanted to feel afraid of him again.

“You scared me,” I whispered.

Harry whimpered at that and pressed himself further into my arms. “M'sorry. I’ll work on my anger, I swear.”

I nodded and squeezed him. “That’s all I’m asking for.”

Harry pressed another kiss to my cheek. “I promise.”

Thank you for reading this! I hope you liked it. Feedback is welcome!

In case this one shot has for some reason been offensive to you, as it has offended someone in the past, please read this: 

http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/155997901418/your-anger-imagine-is-disgusting-you-are-seriously

Rest of what I wrote: 

http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/144920695218/masterlist


Energy threading - going beyond visualization

What is energy threading?

It is manipulating directly the matrix beyond the manifestation of energy. Energy circulates in currents, which are well defined and structured and serve different purposes. Seeing beyond how the energy manifests itself, directly into the structure of the currents, allows us to modify the structure itself.

Okay… so what can it be used for?

Everything, really. To heal someone on a surgery scale. To construct powerful seals that will act at wards. To battle, even, but it demands some practice to get it fast enough to be a valuable asset. To manipulate links between objects or people.  To anchor things no one but you will be able to undo, as only you have the blueprints.  As with a lot of energy work techniques, the sky is the limit. Thought this particular technique allows for more delicate and precise maneuvering than just visualizing and hoping the channels form right.

Keep reading

gotham season 4 episode 5 sentence starters.

  • ‘ that’s above my pay grade, pal.’
  • ‘ i am stuck between a rock and a hard place.’
  • ‘ what am i supposed to do?’
  • ‘ i AM doing my job!’
  • ‘ no sleep? again?’
  • ‘ you are joking, aren’t you?’
  • ‘ don’t say it’s not my fault.’
  • ‘ and you blame me?’
  • ‘ you’re still not ready.’
  • ‘ how- i’m sorry… WHAT happened to you?!’
  • ‘ okay, let me get this straight. you don’t remember WHO you are, or how you got here?’
  • ‘ you don’t know who YOU are? well that makes two of us!’
  • ‘ i’m sorry. i don’t know you. best of luck though.’
  • ‘ i came to see if you had lunch plans tomorrow.’
  • ‘ perhaps you overestimate the pleasure of your company.’
  • ‘ just because you know you’re capable of doing something, doesn’t mean it has to happen again.’
  • ‘ you may think you have everything, but there is one thing you don’t have.’
  • ‘ then allow me to tell you what will happen if you DON’T kill me.’
  • ‘ i will kill everyone you love.’
  • ‘ i have NEVER had an issue with you.’
  • ‘ wow, you don’t get much sun.’
  • ‘ those guys that attacked us didn’t even have five bucks between ‘em.’
  • ‘ you and i… we’re the very best of friends.’
  • ‘ then something happened to you, and i just didn’t recognize you.’
  • ‘ come on, you people have pills for everything!’
  • ‘ i’m attempting to be civil, but i can’t help you.’
  • ‘ i just can’t, alright?’
  • ‘ i used to be smart… brilliant… and now that’s gone.’
  • ‘ well, i am feeling a bit peckish.’
  • ‘ i don’t want to get your hopes up, but there is something.’
  • ‘ that’s perfect! where is this?’
  • ‘ a fake gun? seriously?!’
  • ‘ wait! wait, wait, wait… i just need to know. do these work?’
  • ‘ no, dummy. and i’m calling the police.’
  • ‘ this is just another manipulation.’
  • ‘ i don’t know what i saw in there.’
  • ‘ now you’re just rubbing it in.’
  • ‘ so, why did you call me here?’
  • ‘ every moment of my life is agony.’
  • ‘ oh, not this again. come ON! god… i’ve told you; i’m better off on my own, and you are too. so let go! LET GO!’
  • ‘ oh boy… i can’t breathe….’
  • ‘ i assure you, we are not friends.’
  • ‘ where am i?’
  • ‘ let them go! they have nothing to do with this.’
  • ‘ it means that you are the only one who can end my suffering.’
  • ‘ you want me to kill you.’
  • ‘ well, thanks for the snack. it’s been an emotional day.’
  • ‘ what about everything you promised me?’
  • ‘ do as i ask, and i’ll give you a gift beyond imagining.’
  • ‘ i can assure you, i’m not here to poison you.’
  • ‘ enough! do you think i would really believe this was all some coincidence?’
  • ‘ you’re buttering me up. but for what?’
  • ‘ this may be hard for you to understand.’
  • ‘ only you can kill me.’
  • ‘ is it so hard to believe that someone would want to do something nice for you?’
  • ‘ oh, you want to help? try leaving.’
  • ‘ it’s okay. i won’t judge.’
  • ‘ easy. i ain’t gonna hurt you.’
  • ‘ how long have you worked here?’
  • ‘ deal with this, will you?’
  • ‘ what are you talking about?’
  • ‘ ugh, that dream was horrible.’
  • ‘ you’re serious?’
  • ‘ yes, i’m bloody serious!’
  • ‘ that’s absolutely it. unless you wanna check my undercrackers.’
  • ‘ rest in peace, whoever the hell you are.’
  • ‘ taking a life, no matter how justified, will lead you down a darker path than you could ever possibly imagine.’
  • ‘ i could take a pill, or a vitamin. i’ll even consider a natural remedy.’
  • ‘ i will NOT be condescended to by an idiot in a lab-coat!’
  • ‘ you’re not even a doctor!’
  • ‘ i can’t even rob a pharmacy.’
  • ‘ okay, relax, just… tell me your symptoms.’
  • ‘ i just, uh, bust the bad guys.’
  • ‘ so, who’s the vegetable?’
The Avengers Headcanons (Part 2)

Author’s Note: I totally thought this was going to take me so much longer to write. 

Again I want to say that this contains talks of PTSD and anxiety attacks. If this in any way causes you distress then please stop reading and go get help.

With that being said I do hope you like the second part of my headcanons. <3

Fluff & Angst

——————–

Request: Anon

Can you do relationship headcanons for the avengers? (Or if not all of them at least Scott and Pietro) thanks so much your blog and writings make me so happy darling!!

——————–

~Bucky Barnes Headcanons~

  • He’s not very vocal about his feelings towards you, but he does like to show it physically more than anything
  • Bucky likes to put on a tough guy act whenever in front of everyone, he knows he doesn’t have to do it but he does it to protect you
  • Everyone thinks he lost all of his charm or at least it’s buried deep down in him, you know for a fact he only likes to show you his soft/charming side
  • Bucky suffers from a lot of mental illnesses, from PTSD, depression, and social anxiety. He always feels ashamed of it but everyday you make him stand in front of the mirror and point out everything he likes about himself (and on days where he can’t think of anything, you tell him the things that he should love about himself, and if he feels self-conscious about how much you love him, you then tell him what you love about him)
  • The relationship you guys have can and will be very rocky
  • Everyone was very wary about you and him pursing into the relationship
  • You stood up for him and showed that he is capable of loving another human being, even after everything
  • But Steve was beyond ecstatic hearing about you and Buck in a relationship (but he did keep his eye out on the both of you, to make sure neither of you hurt each other)
  • Bucky has night terrors, they can become very violent to the point where he’ll wake up and think he’s back in the war or if it’s about his Hydra days, he’ll wake up back in the mindset of the Winter Soldier
  • As sad it is to say he’s hurt you before from waking up during his night terrors
  • And every time that has happened he would then go hide from you
  • The first time it happened he hide from you for a week, but as time went by you helped him lessen the nightmares with therapy and encouraging words. And when it ever happened again his hiding would lessen to the point where he finally did stop hiding and would talk to you about what happened
  • As though the relationship is rocky, it’s one of the most loving ones ever
  • Bucky would sometimes get in his moods of wanting to shower you in affection (it weirds everyone but Steve out)
  • When hidden away from everyone, both you and Bucky are the biggest cuddle bugs
  • You like to have his metal arm draped over you because he’s a literal walking space heater and his arm is always cool
  • But during the cooler seasons, if he so much touches you with his arm you will literally jump like a frightened kitten
  • You’re the one to kill the bugs
  • The first time he ever said “I love you” you woke up to him mumbling in his sleep, you had thought he was having another nightmare so you were ready to console him if he woke up to a startle. But to your surprise he had said “I love you… Y/N” then some other weird noises came from his mouth (he says it doesn’t count because he wasn’t awake, but oh you so totally count it)

~Sam Wilson Headcanons~

  • He too is a huge fucking nerd
  • Whenever it’s movie night at the tower he just has to watch Star Trek (much to Thor’s displeasure)
  • At your shared bedroom, Sam has a secret selection of “SSSM’s” aka “Sam’s Special Secret Movies”
  • They’re disney movies
  • His favorite is Lady & The Tramp
  • Sam wanted to try to famous spaghetti scene when you were making your special spaghetti (you couldn’t deny the look he was giving you)
  • It was a total mess, but he wanted to nail it so he wanted to have spaghetti for dinner for a whole week
  • When you guys got it he had jumped up and knocked over all of the spaghetti onto you (you guys didn’t have spaghetti for a whole month after that)
  • Sam also suffers from PTSD during the time he served in the military
  • So whenever he has an attack from remembering something he always goes to your guy’s bathroom and lays in the tub (he finds that all of the muted colors calming)
  • Also during that time you had learned that Sam is able to relax fully from aromatherapy, so whenever he’s in the tub trying to calm himself down you go in there and light up a mixture of lavender candles and rosemary scent melts. When you’re done lighting up everything you like to sit next to the tub and rub his knuckles
  • Your voice is also very calming to him during his PTSD induced anxiety attacks, so while rubbing his knuckles you tell him memories of things you guys have done together. Sometimes you even just list things you had found on the internet that you know he’d find funny
  • You know when he is finally calmed down, he would lift your hand closer towards him to signal that you should get in the tub too
  • It’s always quiet for a while before Sam talks to you. It’s usually about what had sent him into the attack and about Riley
  • Every time he just says that it was his fault that Riley died and every time he says that you spend the next few hours telling him everything that Riley would want him to do, to not blame himself and that he’s in a better place now. That place either being heaven or with the stars, that his memory of Riley shouldn’t be tainted by sad memories
  • Sam likes to take you out flying
  • And after each flying session Sam has some strange hand shaped bruises on his arms/shoulders (strange right? they look distinctly like yours)
  • He hogs all of the blankets (he does it on purpose so you have to cuddle him)
  • Sam also likes to cook for you! (of course the spaghetti was a different story) But he demands to be the one to cook for you always

~Wanda Maximoff Headcanons~

  • People like to think that she’s super shy and not as courageous like her twin
  • But let it be known that she is one of the biggest flirts when it comes to you
  • Before you guys started dating Pietro would always flirt with you, to the point where everyone would want to physically vomit in their mouths
  • Wanda of course got super tired of his flirting with you and yelled at in him Slovakian (it was in front of everyone, he had just made a joke about you running through his mind all day)
  • Everyone was stunned silent, especially Pietro. He had turned just as red as his sister’s powers. Later on that day when everyone was relaxing in the common room Pietro had picked you up and plopped you on Wanda
  • Everyone of course knew of her affections towards you
  • Tony was the one to suggest (yell) for Wanda to make out already
  • You guys did
  • In front of everyone
  • Like her superhero alias ‘Scarlet Witch’, Wanda practices witchcraft
  • She likes to take you out to get her supplies (your favorite thing to do is help her pick out the perfect crystals for her charms/spells)
  • You both like to dress up as witches for Halloween every year
  • Everyone thinks it’s super cute
  • Wanda sometimes has nightmares too from her days in Hydra, she’s not violent but she’s very unnerved when woken up from the terrors
  • You spend hours reassuring her that they will never and you mean never will get ahold of her again
  • After nightmares and when you’re done reassuring her, Wanda always takes your hand and places it over her heart, she tells you, “As long as this it beating, I will always love you.” (it’s her way of thanking you for being there)
  • And then you’re the one crying
  • Wanda is total little spoon (but sometimes she’ll give in and be the big spoon)
  • Neither of you can kill bugs (she’s all this power but she just cannot bring herself into killing a bug)
  • It ends with both of you shouting for help
  • Nat is always the one to help, the guys are huge babies
  • Like her brother, Wanda loves to tease you, it’s easy to tease you for all she has to do is take whatever is in your hands at the moment and float it above your head
  • Dating one of The Avengers, let alone knowing all of them is super dangerous, so whenever something bad happens that could/have harmed you, Wanda would project happy memories of her and you (including everyone else depending on the situation) into your mind so you wouldn’t freak out

~Pietro Maximoff Headcanons~

  • He takes pride in being a huge flirt
  • Before dating Pietro always did what he did best, flirt with you
  • And if you didn’t give him the time of day (which secretly made him even more madly in love with you) he’d run off to flirt with anyone else in the tower
  • When he had asked you out you thought you were being Punk’d
  • You actually turned around expecting Ashton Kutcher to laugh in your face
  • You turned him down the first time (still thinking he had asked you out on a joke)
  • You then finally said yes after the 20th time of him asking you out (you figured he was being serious after the 6th-7th time he asked you out, but you wanted to see how far he’d go for you)
  • Pietro was beyond nervous for your guy’s first date (he’d never admit it to you though)
  • He asked for pointers from Clint
  • You asked for pointers from Wanda
  • Pietro sometimes flirts with other people while out and about with you (you think it’s a default system in him)
  • It always hurt you though when he does flirt with someone else, you know he thinks of himself highly but you don’t think he understands how much of a blow that is to your self-esteem when he does that
  • One time when he did that was with some particular beautiful grocery clerk and you had left him to go back to the tower
  • Everyone wanted to kill him
  • Now Steve didn’t really approve of what he did to you so he decided to give Pietro some special ‘training’. Everyone watched from the viewing platform, you of course had a front row seat
  • Each time Steve had landed a hit on Pietro, he would turn his body to point at you and then demand Pietro to say something he loves about you and/or apologize (he didn’t hurt he too badly, just was able to leave a few bruises around his body)
  • After about an hour of the special training you had called for everyone to leave, Pietro that day learned that you’re not a force to be reckoned with (you were already startling beautiful and dangerous, he was glad it was Steve giving him the lessons on how to respect you)
  • Pietro only flirts with you now (still disgusts everyone but they’re glad it’s only for you)
  • Whenever you’re sad Pietro likes to ask you for a special place you’d wish to go to, he’d then proceed to take you there
  • He loves to compliment you in Slovakian (you can tell he’s complimenting you from the loving look he gives you)
  • You then punch him because that’s the only way you can respond when he’s looking at you like that (damn him)
  • He doesn’t like to talk about his days with Hydra but you can tell when he’s upset about them (he always tenses up when someone mentions them) You like to give him massages to help ease the tension from it
  • Pietro thinks you’re too good for him

~Scott Lang Headcanons~

  • You met him when his was hiding from the cops in your backyard
  • He was more terrified of seeing you standing there than you were finding him crouching in your bushes
  • You almost peed yourself from laughing
  • You invited him in for tea (he thought you were the strangest yet most attractive person ever) You had found out why he was hiding from the cops (he might have stole some money to give back to his neighbors- they were scammed from some weird salesman)
  • He asked you out that same night
  • You had found out he was Ant-Man through your friend Sam Wilson (SUCH A TWIST WOW)
  • Scott got the shit beat outta him when you found out what he did to Sam
  • He didn’t mind, he liked the fire in your eyes when you punched him
  • Scott introduced you to Cassie after dating for just two weeks
  • “He really likes you Y/N!” is what Cassie said (you wanted cry from how cute she was)
  • He loves to take you on playdates with Cassie
  • Sometimes during the playdates Cassie will insist on doing both of your guy’s makeup
  • Her favorite to do on Scott consists of bright blue eyeshadow, pink blush, and orange lipstick
  • He tries to kiss you every time he has the orange lipstick on
  • When Scott wants to tease you he’d call the ants to hide certain things of yours
  • During the fight with Darren Cross, ANT-hony had died, so you, Scott, and Cassie held a funeral for him (it was actually super sad, both you and Scott cried, Cassie had to hold the tissues)
  • When doing chores about the house, you would ask Scott to get into his Ant-Man suit so he could easily lift up furniture
  • He says he doesn’t have to use the suit to lift up the furniture… but both of you know that he does (where do you even get this furniture from)
  • Scott likes to make this one joke about how he ‘burgled’ your heart, when in reality it was you who stole his

——————–

WOWZERS! This honestly took me a long time to do, like all together. But I’m glad I was able to do this!

Thank you anon babe for the request! I saved Scott last just for you <3

~Widow

5

LISTEN UP.

Let’s talk about queers, children, and ethics.
Firstly, I know that many queer folx can have biological children of their own. And I know many folx who aren’t queer use assistive reproductive technologies.

But, this post is aimed at my queer fam because I see far too many queer people aching for a family who are ready and willing to use assistive reproductive technology - such as sperm donation and artificial insemination - without considering the rights of the donor conceived person.

I get it. You want a family. But it’s a disservice to your child - and to all of us, really - if you decide that your child has to either live a lie or be without vital information. For example, medical information. You say, “well - it’s on the papers!” What if something got overlooked? What if you didn’t go through a regulated sperm bank? Didn’t get crucial tests done to see if your kid may well have some kind of rare genetic illness?

Beyond that - what if your kid wonders where exactly their face came from. Of course, you as a non-donor conceived person might think, “eh, my child won’t care!”

How do you know that, though? Because I can assure you - donor conceived people often want information like that.

The focus on parents, families, and even donors creates HARMFUL policies that constantly centre everybody but the donor conceived person. There are irrational fears about donor conceived children wanting money - but the vast majority of them just want the truth. And policy must reflect that. They must have access to information.

To get to that place, however, we must begin “queering” this kind of technology in a meaningful way. And that means being honest about it from the get-go. That means sharing vital information (yes, including a photo of the donor) if the donor conceived person wants it.

We must crush the taboo surrounding this and must stop assuming that donor conceived people are limited to what we’ve seen on Oprah and other day time television shows. They are not “freaks” with “freaky families” and “a hundred siblings” that they’re always on the look out for. They are human beings - often already marginalized. They are queer, trans, Black, etc. and they have the right to know all parts of them without it being a taboo subject.

I direct this at specifically queer folx because this is a chance to engage in a type of “queer world making” where we augment the definition of “sibling” and we treat assistive reproductive technologies as inherently queer things that are not laced with shame, but are useful, necessary things that we should we honest about.

It’s unfortunate that many queers play into homonationalism and heteronormativity by concealing aspects of their kid’s own creation from them. You should not engage in hiding any aspect of your child’s existence because you “don’t want the donor involved in any capacity - and that includes something as simple as a photo” simply because you want to be a “normal” family unit.

This is our chance to change something queerly, meaningfully, and finally centre the voices of donor conceived people.

The Good Kind

First Part: Brave

Second Part: Breathing Space                                                        

Third Part: Plotting                                                                      

Fourth Part: New Arrangement                                                

Fifth Part: Spinning                                                                        

Sixth Part: Distraction                                                            

Seventh Part: Interlude                                                                

Eight Part: Duet                                                                        

Ninth Part: Pep Talk

Tenth Part: Break A Leg

Eleventh Part: Lights Up

Twelfth Part: Overheard

Thirteenth Part: Curtain Call

Fourteenth Part: Dutch Courage

Part 15 in my developing Roman/Virgil University!AU <3

Tag List: @extremepenguin10 @interstellarroadkill @jadorefreedom @flowersheep @helpimafangirlposts @imthenewproxy  @isnt-that-wizard @panicitssammyanddean  @serenity0092 @ekkosoundspn  @datonerougecookeh @intriguedslytherin @squashymoon-wink @thatdamfangirl12 @artidan @queensire @softbludemon @hopefullyalways @lucky-clover-cannot-hear-you @saltequeen @smiles-and-fandoms @faydedtruely @justanotherpurplebutterfly @thisimmortalnerd @dinohunter5904 @pippa-frost @viva-la-nordics @invisibleninjah @usernamestakewaytooeffinglong @scouttheoneandonly @cutecatwhiskers @xix-leiloves-xix @musicphanpie-b @shipperofallthings-vk @v-blue-writer @protaganope @onehundredphans  @theatrenerd273 @phantom-opera @memelovingsun @huffletough @axapanda53 @musiclover152002 @pies-cakes-and-gays @silver-owl413 @ninja-kitty-more-like-no  @cup-of-blue @crazymadredfox  @eternal-sanders @deafchildcrossing @holdnarrytight @anxiousdepressedkid @gracefullyinsanedancingunicorn @breckein-blog @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @finding-flanders @broadwaytheanimatedseries @emo-space-trash @twinkly-lights @mrrkiplrr @mylasagnaisraw @virgilmood @andy-the-anon @monikastec @i-just-punched-malfoy @greymane902 @casmyth @fanficlover2022 @pattonknowsbigwords @irrelevantbutfabulous @lavender-smoothie @half-blood-geek  @ohheythanksforcheckingin @theseriouslysillyone @fandomsandanythingelse @unknown-to-die @imthemayan @novagalaxy4real @blogfamousbouquetzombie  @multifandom-slytherin @spookyghostio @himrachel @rabbit-168 @icecoldparadise  @well-this-got-awkward  @consultinghuntertimelady @sockopath @anxiousfander @glazelazer @heartofromangold @wlwitchallura @imnottrashiswear @elderpriceley @caseymosschopsmoss @juju–universe @pixiethepinkfox @noodley22 @altineygirl @i-hate-this-part-right-here @sraaaaaaaah @poisonlyra @roxiefox23 @princeyssash @askingtheimportantthingshere @minamishipsit @alyssadashrub @lizziepopanime @taylorharmonies @dadjokesandanxiety @yep-another-fander @fandomsandanythingelse

Also on ao3 here


He feels like he’s flying, taking the steps two at a time. He glides down the bannister on the last floor just for the hell of it. He forgets that he’s still on the phone.

“Did you-” Roman’s voice comes from far away, tinny, but Virgil can hear the joy in it. “Did you just whoop?”

“No,” Virgil lies.

He’s almost ran past Patton’s car when he remembers. “Shit,” he says, skidding to a halt.

“You okay?” Roman says instantly.

“Yeah,” Virgil says. “I’ll- I’m coming, I’ll only be a minute.”

“You have terrible timing,” Roman says, but Virgil still hears the warmth in his voice. “Hurry!” Then, he hangs up.

Keep reading

How to Boost Self-Confidence

@proanotherworkgress asked: How do you work on having more self-confidence in yourself as a musician and in your work? Basically how do you prevent yourself from selling yourself short?


Confidence is such a huge and delicate part of being a good musician. Without it, plenty of talented individuals with great potential end up dropping their musical dreams, convinced they’re awful. With too much, other musicians sometimes burn bridges or blow auditions because they don’t prepare as they should or act cocky. The trick is to find the balancing point between selling yourself short and pissing off fellow musicians. With that in mind, here are four tips to help boost your own self-confidence!

Write a list of accomplishments. Literally sit down with a piece of paper and a pen, or potentially your computer laptop and a word doc, and write down every single thing you’re proud of doing ever. This can be just musical achievements, or beyond that, depending on where your self-confidence needs work. If you have trouble thinking of things you’re proud of, just start listing concerts you’ve performed. Include Choir concerts, Ensemble concerts, recitals, and anything else that you can think of. Usually, the listel turn out to be much longer than you anticipated. And if you think of anything that you left off, add it to the list later. Whenever you have a day where you just can’t feel good about your abilities, go back and look at this list. You’ve already done a ton of stuff. You have no reason to feel bad about your abilities!

Practice positive self-talk. Sometimes, we are the biggest enemy of our own self-confidence. We can watch someone else perform, and instead of admiring their abilities, we bash ourselves for not being that good. Whenever you notice yourself starting to talk poorly about yourself in your own head, or even out loud, stop. Take a moment and think about whether you would say that about your best friend. If not, stop saying it! You are your own best friend. Compliment yourself when you do something well, and don’t let that mean voice in the back of your head get away with insulting your real best friend - you.

Set goals and work to achieve them. One of the best self confidence boost is reaching a goal you have set for yourself. If you need help deciding what goal to set, compare the list of achievements you just wrote with those of someone in the position you want to reach. Then set out to achieve those things yourself! You can start small, like improving your scales by 10 bpm. Once you’ve achieved that, I promise you that slightly larger goals will seem easier to reach. This snowballs in the more complex your goals and achievements get!

Ask a trusted mentor for an opinion of your skills. Finally, if nothing else above has helped you out, ask your teacher or another trusted mentor to give you an objective view of your skills. Now, you might argue that your teacher or someone you trust old want to hurt your feelings, which is true. However, they will want what is best for your future more than anything. If they don’t think you’re cut out for your goals, they will tell you. Otherwise, they’ll just tell you what you need to do to improve to reach your dreams. Usually, their opinion of your skills is much higher than your own. (I once had a master class that killed my confidence. Smashed it to pieces. Then immediately afterwards, my advisor walks up to me and starts roundly complimenting me on how well I did and how amazing my aria was. Definitely made me feel better.)


Self-confidence is a tricky beast. The best way to get a self confidence boost is to try to be objective about your skills. If, objectively, they aren’t that great, then you can work to improve! It’s really this improvement that is the creator of self-confidence. You’ve got this!

You're Mine (Baron Corbin x reader)

This is my first fantiction 😊. Hope you Baron Corbin lovers enjoy. Feed back is appreciated. I also take request 😉

Warnings:

NSFW, extreme sexual content, rough sex, unprotected sex, daddy kink, a little spanking, oral sex and I think that’s it.

I was speechless. My brain had a hard time trying to comprehend what just took place on the screen before me. I took in Baron’s irate face as he stalked around the ring after his failed MITB cash in. I wanted to slap the stupid smirk planted on Cena’s face off. He looked real proud of himself for fucking up Baron’s huge opportunity. Seeing Baron’s angry and hurt face displayed on the screen broke my heart all over again.

I quickly jumped off the crate I was sitting on, and made my way to his dressing room. I patiently waited for him to make his way back from the ring.

I don’t know when I fell for Baron. I always thought he was handsome. When I started my job as an WWE interviewer a couple of years ago, he was one of the first guys to catch my attention. His tall physique, cool tattoos, and all around bad ass aura drew me to him like a moth to a flame. We bonded over our love for metal music and the rest was history. Baron had no idea I was interested in him romantically. The farthest we had ever ventured outside of the friend zone was a drunken kiss we shared at his place one New Year’s Eve. The next day he pretended it never happened, so I followed suit. I didn’t want to lose my best friend.

I was taken out of my thoughts as I saw Baron storm his way into the dressing room. He barely glanced my way as he started throwing shit around. I hurriedly left my chair and made my way towards him.

“Baron, calm down” I started, grabbing one of his arms with my hand

“Calm down!? How the fuck you expect me to calm down after that shit?!” He questioned me, jerking his arm out of my grasp in the process.

“Look, Baron, I know what went down was fucked up, but I don’t like seeing you like this. I just want you to calm down so we can try to figure this out.” I pleaded with him. He turned around and faced me. His face red with anger, and eyes filled with bitterness. He never looked at me that way before. I was scared.

“Please tell me (y/n) what the fuck is there to figure out? I got fucking robbed out there by that son of a bitch! I’ve worked my ass off to get that briefcase only for that shit to blow up in my face! I have a right to be pissed, okay? And if you have a problem with that you can leave.” He finished off. My eyes were watering up and my throat was starting to burn.

“Look…..I didn’t mean to upset you, Baron. I only want to help…..” I muttered, my eyes trained on the floor.

“As of right now, you are no help. Just fuck off (y/n).”

My face snaps up to look at his, eyes filled with hurt by the harshness of his words. The tears that were threatening to fall now fell in little streams down my face. His eyes held no semblance of regret in them. I wordlessly turned towards the chair I was sitting in, grabbed my belongings and left the room without giving him another glance

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I thought that maybe taking a relaxing bubble bath would help ease my hurting heart and rampant thoughts, but it didn’t. I was currently laying in my hotel bed, desperately trying to fall asleep. I still couldn’t believe that Baron could speak to me the way that he did. I know he was most likely speaking out of frustration, but he should have more respect for me than that. He knows I have always been there for him.

I turn around to look at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It’s 12:43 a.m. I wonder when Baron will make his way to the hotel. We’re sharing a room together. We’ve been sharing hotel rooms together for a while now. I would’ve looked for another room to stay in, but I didn’t want to bother anyone. Hopefully, Baron would just decide to room with one the other guys tonight.

I turn back toward the window, and try to fall asleep. As I was starting to doze off I hear the hotel door open. I quickly close my eyes, and pretend to be asleep. I don’t want to talk to him or even look at him right now.

“(Y/n)?” I hear him say as he approaches my bed. I continue to act as if I were asleep.

“(Y/n)?” He continues, gently shaking my shoulder. I tensed up immediately, and then shook his hand off my shoulder. I slowly got up, hanging my legs on the side of the bed opposite of him.

“Leave me alone, Baron.” I frostily tell him.

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry for what I told you earlier. That was uncalled for, okay?” He replied. I turn around to face him, taking in his appearance. His hair is covered with one of his signature beanies. The look completed with a black shirt and skinny jeans. The look on his face was filled with regret. I wanted nothing more than to jump in his arms and accept his apology, but something was holding me back. There was a part of me that was still beyond hurt from his harsh treatment of me earlier.

“Fuck you” I tell him, while leaving the confines of my bed. I grabbed my phone as well. I was rethinking my choice of staying in this room. I’ll just have to check and see if there are any more rooms available. Before I can make it very far, I feel one of Baron’s hand grab at my arm.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He ask me, patience wearing thin.

“That’s none of your business. Now let me go!” I’m passed pissed at this point. The last thing I wanted was his hands on me, but I can’t help the pulse I feel between my legs due to his touch on my skin.

“No” he responds, turning me around to face him fully. Both of his hands are now grasping me by my arms, effectively holding me in place. “We need to work this out. I can’t have you pissed at me, (y/n).”

“Well you should’ve thought about that before you decided to treat me like shit. I was only trying to help you, Baron. Haven’t I always been there for you? Huh?” I ask, desperately searching his eyes for any signs of acknowledgment.

“Dammit, I know that (y/n). That’s why I need you, okay. If I don’t have you in my life then honestly I don’t know what the fuck I’d do. Please, (y/n), stay.” He finishes, looking deep into my eyes.

I should be estatict, but I can’t find it in myself to be. I know that I mean a lot to Baron, but not in the way I want it to be. It hurts so much to constantly be around the man you love and be unable to actually be with them. Before I know it, the tears that I burried early came rushing forward. Before I could attempt to wipe them away, Baron’s hands grasped the sides of my face. He gently brushed away my tears with his thumbs. I attempted to remove my self from his grasp, but before I could I felt his lips press against mine.

I felt myself gasp and my heart skip a beat in my chest. In that moment, it was as if time stood still. I couldn’t believe the man that I was so madly in love with was kissing me. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would burst straight through my chest.

He slowly disconnect his lips from mine. I looked up in his eyes and the look he was giving me sent a shiver down my spine and an ache between my legs.I felt his hands move from the sides of my face to my shoulders. He proceeded to push me up against the wall and attack my lips with his. I could feel all of his pent up frustration through the kiss. He easily dominated me. He roughly bit at my bottom lip, which caused me to gasp. As my lips opened, he pushed his tongue in. I felt his left hand grab my breast while his other hand trailed down to cup my ass. The sensations I was feeling at that moment were overwhelming.

Before my body spiraled into a lust induced hazed, I turned my head away from Baron’s wonderful mouth.

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea right now.” I whispered to Baron. “Let’s just go to bed, and talk about this more in the morning.” I suggested. By that time my head should be clearer because at that moment my emotions and hormones were all over the place.

“Babe, I can’t want till tomorrow…” Baron started, “I need you right fucking now.” He pushed me higher up the wall, shoving his bulging crotch against my center. I let out a small gasp, feeling the proof of his earlier said statement.

“I need to be inside you, (y/n). Have my cock buried in you, fucking you.” He hotly whispered into my ear, continuing to grind his erection into my heat. “I know you want me, (y/n). You don’t think I notice the way you look at me? The way you go out of your way to please me? I’ve never brought it up before because I didn’t think I deserved someone as good as you, but I’m way past giving a shit about that now.” He finished, forcefully placing his mouth back on mine.

I’ve never had anyone kiss me the way Baron was. It was like he was trying to draw my soul out of my body. He plundered my mouth with reckless abandon, as if it was never mine to begin with. As if it was always his and that’s all it would ever be.

I heard myself moan once I felt one of his large hands sliding down my stomach, going toward my shorts. He dipped his hand inside of them, ghosting his fingers over my drenched sex. I was mortified by the sounds I was making, but they refused to stop. His lips made their way up to my ear, leaving a trail of kisses along the way.

“Baby, you’re so fucking wet. I’m surprised a good girl like you can drip like that. It’s like you’re little pussy is just begging for my cock.”

I could feel my face flushing at his crude words, as a strangled moan left my lips. His filthy mouth was driving me crazy. Before I knew it, I felt him push one of his fingers inside me. I felt my walls grip at the invading appendage with a vice like grip. He fingered my pussy relentlessly, while grinding his palm against my clit.

“Oohhh, oh my gosh!” I breathlessly gasped as I felt his finger rub against my sweet spot. I felt myself moving closer and closer to reaching nirvana.

“You like that, (y/n)? You like the way I’m fingering your tiny little pussy? You wanna cum all over my fucking hand?” He asked, voice husky and ragged. His voice alone could’ve made me orgasm. I had a hard time trying to talk. The hand that was currently in between my legs had all my attention.

I felt Baron’s free hand reach behind my head, grabbing my hair, and pulling on it roughly to angle my face up to see his. “I asked you a question, now answer me.” He growled, with his intense eyes filled with hunger trained on my face.

“Yes, yes, ohhh please Baron, please…” I whimpered, desperately wanting to cum.

“Then cum, (y/n). Do it, baby girl!” He groaned, grinding his palm hard on my clit. I immediately felt my walls mercilessly contract around his thick digit due to his wonderful ministrations and sinful command. I heard myself shriek as I rode out my orgasm, reveling in the knowledge that it was Baron making me feel so damn good.

Once I began to come down from my orgasmic high, I slowly opened my eyes. The moment my eyes met Baron’s I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. The look he was giving me was so full of unrestrained lust and passion, even though I just came, I could feel pussy clenching due to his seductive stare.

Baron removed his hand from my bottoms, never breaking eye contact. He takes his cum covered finger and palm, and licks it clean, all the while staring at me. The low groan that came from his mouth sent electricity straight to my sensitive vagina.

“You taste fucking incredible, baby. I always wondered if your pussy would taste as sweet as you looked.”

Before I could respond, Baron detangled himself from me. I watched as he made his way to the closest bed, sitting on the edge of it. He motioned for me to follow him. I stopped a couple inches in front of him. I felt his eyes scan my body. “Strip” he demanded.

I slowly lifted my shirt over my head. Baron had his undivided attention on my body, palming his cock through his jeans as I stripped myself of the remaining articles of clothes, completely turned on at the scene in front of me.

“Are you still willing to help me, (y/n)?”

“Yes, Daddy-” I gasped and covered my mouth, face flushing with embarrassment. I couldn’t believe I said that. I usually referred to Baron as “Daddy” when I was touching myself thinking about him or had wet dreams centered around him. I guess I got too caught up in the moment.

When I chanced a look at him I was shocked. I didn’t think his expression could get any darker, any lustful than it was, but it did.

“You want me to be your daddy, babe? Ok, I’ll be your daddy, but you have to be a good little girl and suck daddy’s cock. Can you do that for me?” He asked, his voice husky, deep and laced with wicked promises.

I quickly nodded and walked closer to his body. Before I got on my knees, I leaned over and attached my lips to his, dying to taste them again. Once we pulled apart, he opened up his legs and signaled for me to get between them. I obediently got on my knees and immediately worked the zipper of his skinny jeans. The pants basically undid themselves due to how hard his cock was. When I started pulling his pants and underwear down, he raised his hips up to help me, and took his shirt off right after, leaving his naked body bare for my greedy eyes.

His cock was massive! I imagined him to be big, but this was insane. I was starting to wonder if it’ll even fit.

“It’s ok baby. I promise I won’t hurt you.” He said as if he were reading my mind.

I gingerly grabbed his cock with one of my hands. It felt like a steel rod encased in skin, hot and pulsating in my tiny hand. Tugging on his cock hard and slow, I lowered my mouth to the tip, licking the pre cum seeping out of it. He let out a deep moan at the contact. I continued to give his tip kitten licks while stroking him. Eventually, I worked my way down, giving him long licks up and down his shaft as if his cock were a popsicle. I kissed my way up the under skin, and encased the tip with my lips.

“Oh shit!” He exclaimed, moving my hair out of my face. I licked the tip in little circles, while apply suction to it, letting my hands jerk off the rest of his dick. He not long after grabbed my hair, wrapping it around his hand in a make shift ponytail, and started fucking my mouth with his cock.

Low grunts and a string of profanities left his lips as he continued to fuck my mouth. My eyes started to water, due to his cock gagging me. The gurgling sounds seemed to spur him on because he started thrusting in his cock rougher, faster.

“Fucking hell, (y/n), you look so good taking my cock. You like chocking on Daddy’s dick, huh?” He moaned out, tugging hard on my hair. His sentiments made me moan lewdly on his cock, which caused him to let out a loud grunt.

He quickly pulled his cock out of my mouth with a loud “pop”. “I don’t wanna cum just yet. Lay down for me, babe.” He told me, breathing heavily.

I immediately got up and climbed on the bed, crawling my way toward the headboard. Baron followed not far behind, quickly grabbing me by my hips, turning me on my back. He dove straight for my mouth with his, then trailed his way down to my breast, licking and sucking at my hard peaks. He continued to leave hot, wet kisses down my body, until he made it to my pussy. He opened my thighs enough for his head to fit in between them. I watched as he peppered my clit with multiple kisses.

“Ah!” I moaned at the contact. That devious tongue made its way to my dripping hole and dove in, drinking from it like a man dying of thirst.

He kissed his way back up my body. “I would love to have you sit on my face with that delicious pussy of yours, but I can’t wait to stick my cock in you baby.” He groaned out, while kissing my chest and neck. I moaned loudly at his words and actions.

Without any warning, he shoved his huge cock in me. I yelped at the sudden intrusion, his shaft being the biggest I’ve ever taken. No other man made me feel as full as Baron had.

He gave me no time to adjust to his size. He roughly fucked my pussy, with his forearms caging my head in on either side. I desperately grabbed at his arms, hanging on to him as he mercilessly attached my aching, hungry cunt with his cock.

Each time he pounded into my cervix wall or pushed up against my sweet spot, I saw stars behind my eyes. I was moaning and screaming so loud, the whole floor probably heard me. The harder I tried to quiet down, the harder he fucked me.

“I wanna hear you scream, (y/n)! I want this whole building to know how good I’m fucking your little pussy, how good I’m making you feel!” He growled out, driving into me so hard the headboard was banging against the wall.

“Oh Baron, oh gosh, it feels so good!” I moaned out to him, breathlessly.

My comment seemed to spur him on, because he started slamming into me faster and harder. His left arm came down to hook under my right leg, lifting it to sit over his shoulder. This position caused his cock to directly hit my g-spot every time he shoved his cock back into me. It also allowed his hips to brush against my clit.

The pleasure I was feeling was so intense, it was difficult for me to produce sounds. My mind and body was filled with Baron. He was everywhere. He took up all my senses. All I could see was his face, intense, focused, covered in pleasure. All I could taste was his body, the flavor of his cock still fresh in my mouth. All I could hear were the filthy things he whispered in my ear as he took my body. All I feel was his thick, long cock stretching my pussy to its limit, and driving me insane with uncontrollable lust.

Everything was becoming to much. I couldn’t take anymore. Everything was meshing into one big cloud of need. It felt as if I were dying, but in the best possible way. I didn’t know where I stopped and where Baron began. Far too quick for my liking, my pussy gripped at Baron’s cock so hard, I momentarily blacked out. My body convulsed into multiple spasms as I continuously, greedily clutched at his thick dick, trying to milk him dry. I was screaming things I myself didn’t understand. All I knew was that this was the most intense thing I had ever experienced in my entire life.

“Oh! Fuck!!” Baron yelled as I drowned his cock in my cum. He quickly pulled his cock out of me. His eyes scanned my body. He looked almost crazy due to way his eyes kept darting all over the place, trying to take everything in. He was slowly stroking his impressive cock as he took in my thoroughly fucked-out appearance. “Get on your hands and knees.”

I could barely move my body. “Baron, I can’t,” I started haggardly, “I don’t think I can take anymore.” I cried, hoping he would show my body some mercy.

His eyes narrowed into seething slits. “Did you just defy, Daddy?” He asked, his voice holding a dangerous undertone.

If my pussy wasn’t so numb, it would be clenching uncontrollably due to his words. “Didn’t you say you would help, Daddy?” he continued.

I nodded my head yes, always ready to please him. “Then be a good little girl, get on your hands and knees, and let Daddy fuck your pretty little pussy until I fill it up with my cum.” He growled, face set in a stony expression. My whole body lit up at his words. I quickly got up and turned around on my hand and knees.

“Grab the pillow,” he demanded grabbing my hips, “And I want your face down, ass up.” I obeyed his demands. Not long after, he slammed into my waiting heat. I screamed. My pussy was still sensitive from my other orgasm and my lower body was sore.

His pace was rough and turbulent, but not as urgent as earlier. This time it felt as if he was trying to revel in it, trying to get his cock to stroke every nook and cranny of my pussy. His cock hitting my cervix was painful, but I enjoyed it. The pain only worked to heighten my pleasure. Baron grabbed at my hips roughly. One if his hands slipped to my ass check and he left a swift slap there. I yelped at the contact. It didn’t hurt, but it did send a pulse straight to my stuffed cunt.

“Ah look at you, (y/n). Your tiny pussy can barely take my cock,” he moaned out wickedly, “But you love it, don’t you? You probably touched yourself so many times, wishing it was me dominating your little body.” His voice was cocky, daring.

“Yes, Daddy. I always wanted your cock in me!“ I yell out, wanting him to use my body anyway he saw fit.

“You are so fucking nasty, sweetheart. The only man you can ever be this slutty for is me, you got that?” He growled, yanking my head back by my hair.

“Yes, Daddy, only you. I’ll be your little slut!” I gasped, his throbbing cock pounding into me made it harder and harder to speak. I was ready for him to cum inside me. I wanted to be filled up to the brim with his cum.

“I want you to cum in me, Daddy! Please cum in my slutty little pussy. Your slutty little pussy!” I begged, desperate for it. He gripped my hips so hard, I knew I’d have bruises on them in the morning.

“You want my cum, baby?” He asked, voice ragged from him savagely fucking me. He suddenly stopped all movement. I groaned audibly, wiggling my ass, trying to get him to keep thrusting. “If you want my cum so bad, (y/n),” he hotly whispered in my ear, “Then you need to work for it.”

I knew exactly what he wanted me to do. I slowly raised my upper body to my hands, and began to fuck myself back onto his huge, thick cock. My pussy was on fire, and I felt Baron’s cock grow thicker inside me. I knew he was close. As I continued to ride his cock, my pussy started clutching uncontrollably at his thick appendage again. This time, he couldn’t hold out. As my pussy started spasming around his cock, his cock twitched inside me. I was milking his cock, drawing every drop of his seed into my hungry little cunt. All you could hear in the room was our profantities as we both rode out our origasms.

I fell to the bed, unable to support my weight. Baron pulled out of me, and fell to the left of my body. He grabbed me, pulled me to his chest, and brought our bodies under the cover.

“Was I too rough?” He asked, worriedly taking in my disheveled appearance.

“No,” I said, breathing heavily, “ that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.” I finished, kissing his tattooed covered chest.

He smiled, loving stroking my left arm.

“You do know this means you’re mine now, right?” He stated, looking down at me with a raised eyebrow.

I gave him a little smirk. “Only if it means you’re mine, too.”

Marry You

Requested by Dee 💝

Based off this prompt list

Pairing: Richie x Eddie

Additional notes: They’re aged up to seniors in high school

9 & 12. “I’m gonna marry the fuck outta you.” and “I’ll go home, but it’s not home unless you’re there.“

Richie and Eddie were always together, even before they started dating. The losers all knew that it was going to end up happening eventually. They were Richie and Eddie. Even the two boys knew how strong their bond was compared to every other couple at school. They were bound to spend the rest of their lives together.

Richie yawned, turning over and wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist. Eddie giggled and leaned in, pecking his boyfriend’s lips.

"It’s late…” he murmured softly, a sleepy smile on his face. Richie pouted and pressed his lips firmly to the other boy’s.

“And?” He raised his eyebrows, earning a noise of disapproval.

“Richie,” he whined. “You gotta go home.” He looked at him with big eyes, pleadingly.

“I’ll go home, but it’s not home unless you’re there…” He whispered in a melodic pitch, shutting his eyes and shifting closer.

“Rich, my mom is gonna freak if she finds you here in the morning.” He rolled his eyes at his dorky boyfriend.

“But I want to wake up with you in my arms,” Richie leaned on his elbow, pushing on his glasses. “I want to spend every night and morning with you.” Eddie smiled.

“You will,” he kissed his cheek. “Someday, we can get married and sleep in the same bed and spend as much time as we want together, but tonight you have to go home.” Richie’s eyes gleemed and he sat up fully.

“I’m gonna marry the fuck outta you someday, Eds.” He agreed, a huge grin spread across his face. Eddie giggled and followed Richie in sitting up.

“And we’re gonna have a huge wedding with all our friends and then we’ll have a honey moon and a nice house where I can sleep next to you every night.” Richie continued and Eddie nodded.

“Of course,” He smiled, thinking about having that someday in the near future. About having everything perfect. Just the two of them together without their parents, or bullies, or people who are going to get in the way. The simple domesticity that the two have always talked about. It was beyond most high school couples, but for Richie and Eddie that was the perfect daydream.

“But tonight you gotta go home.” Eddie laughed softly, the sound bringing comfort over the taller boy with glasses.

“Fine,” Richie leaned in, kissing Eddie softly before climbing off of the bed and walking over to the window.

“I love you,” Eddie yawned, staring at his future crawl out of the window into the night.

“I love you too, Eds,” Richie grinned from the window. “See you in the morning.”

Tag list:

@theliteraltrash @youarenodifferent

Types As Harry Potter Quotes

ISFJ: “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

ESFJ: “’I’m not going to be murdered,’ Harry said out loud.‘That’s the spirit, dear,’ said his mirror sleepily.”

ISTJ: “We could all have been killed- or worse, expelled.” 

ESTJ: “It’s wingardium leviOsa, not leviosAH.”

ISFP: “Ah, music,” he said, wiping his eyes. “A magic beyond all we do here!”

ESFP: “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

ISTP: “Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.”

ESTP: “You sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.”

INFJ: “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

ENFJ: “We’ve all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s what really matters.” 

INTJ: “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic.”

ENTJ: “Not my daughter, you bitch!”

INFP: “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.”

ENFP: “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

INTP: “Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.”

ENTP: “Give her hell from us, Peeves!”

HRH Prince William: BY ALASTAIR CAMPBELL

For years, Prince William found himself in a state of shock, unable to deal with the tragic death of his mother Princess Diana. As the nation wept that summer in 1997, in private William couldn’t allow himself to grieve. Quite simply, aged 15, he locked his emotions away, burying them beneath routine and a most dutiful, demanding public life. Until now. Recently, William has started talking about his loss, opening up and admitting his struggle and its effects - now he is passionately calling for all men to follow his example through his mental health campaign, Heads Together. In what is undoubtedly the most candid interview he has ever given, the 34-year-old future King talks exclusively to GQ about his mother’s death, his relationship with the media, his work, his family and how he is determined to lead by example. Oh, that my mother was alive to see me now, walking into Kensington Palace on a sunny spring day, to take tea with the future King William. Born in the same year as the Queen, 1926, and given the same Christian name, Elizabeth, my mother “Betty” was a fervent monarchist; indeed one of my earliest political memories is of the row provoked when, about half a century ago, I refused to listen to the Queen’s Christmas Day message. She and I also used to argue about Prince William’s parents as the disintegration of their marriage provoked a bitter propaganda war between them and their supporters. Once I got to know Princess Diana, in a series of extraordinary meetings (see my diaries, volume one) before Labour won power in 1997, despite the nasty columns I used to write about her as a journalist, I became something of a fan. I was smitten indeed, and so took her side in the Charles-Diana rows taking place in homes up and down the country. My mother was more for Charles, seeing as how he was going to be the next king. It is not a conversion from republicanism that has sparked this meeting with the Prince - though “President Trump” would challenge anyone’s faith in an elected head of state - but a common cause, namely the desire to eradicate the stigma and taboo surrounding mental illness. Prince William, his wife Catherine and his brother Harry, have chosen mental health as their main cause, and their Heads Together campaign has been successfully promoting the importance of being as open about our mental health as we are about our physical health. When they started off down this path, the republican in me was annoyed they could get so much traction for anything they did; but the Time To Change mental health campaigner was overjoyed. They have overseen the making of a series of short films showing the importance of talking about mental health problems rather than bottling them up. To my surprise, I was asked to take part in a film, talking with my partner Fiona about how my mental health troubles impact on us. Then, even more surprisingly, given how few extended interviews he gives, he agreed to be interviewed for GQ. I had met him a few times, on the British and Irish Lions rugby tour of New Zealand in 2005, for example, and more recently at a dinner where I asked him whether he would follow the lead of his grandmother when he became king, by never giving an interview as monarch. Here, I was keen to test two things in particular. One was whether his commitment to this cause was real and whether he had a proper understanding of the issues. You can make up your own mind on that, but after an hour and a half at the palace, mine was made up in his favour. Secondly, I wanted to see how close to the public persona the more private man in his own habitat might be. Would he speak with the same stilted style that seems to characterise his public speaking? He didn’t. Would he have a sense of humour? He did. Would he stand on ceremony? He didn’t. Was there any real passion behind the shy exterior? There was. Indeed, were she still here, I would have called my mum and told her, “Good news - I liked him.”

What son doesn’t miss his mother when she’s gone? As you shall see, almost 20 years on from that car crash in Paris, Prince William clearly misses Princess Diana intensely, saying it is only now he feels able properly to talk about her death, the extraordinary week that followed it, and the enormous impact it had on him and his brother. He doesn’t believe she had mental health problems, and nor does he think that he does. But the trauma he suffered losing her so young, and in such awful circumstances, partly explains why he is determined to get the nation talking more about our emotions, not least because, in life and death, his mother changed the way we express them.

AC: So what’s a nice future king like you doing with an old leftie republican like me?

PW: That’s a very good question Alastair [laughs]. To be honest, I really don’t care where people come from, I like meeting and talking to people from all backgrounds. And this is a good opportunity to talk about something that is very close to your heart, and very close to mine.

AC: And why is mental health so close to yours?

PW: Practically everything in my charitable life, in the end, is to do with mental health, whether it be homelessness, veterans’ welfare, my wife and the work she is doing on addiction; so much of what we do comes back to mental health. Also, if I think about my current job as a helicopter pilot with the air ambulance service in East Anglia, my first job there was a suicide and it really affected me. I have been to a number of suicides, self harms, overdoses.

AC: In what way did it affect you?

PW: Not just the person who lost their life, but the people they leave behind. One of the stats I was given was that, just in the area we cover in the east of England - my base is in Cambridge - there are five attempted suicides every day. Yet suicide is still not talked about. So people have the pain of loss, but also the stigma and taboo means they are sometimes ashamed even to talk about how a lover, a partner, a brother, a sister, a best friend, how they died. That stat - five attempted suicides in the East Anglia region alone - it blew my mind, I thought, “Oh my God, this is such a big issue.”

AC: I am a patron of the Maytree suicide sanctuary in north London, and you and your wife made a private visit there. What impact did that have?

PW: The thing that made an impression on me, it wasn’t just the feelings of the people, the pain they were going through and the care for them, it was that this is the only place of its kind in the UK. It may be the only one in the whole of Europe, and I thought, this is terrifying, it really is, there should be more places like this, where people can go when they’re desperate. I have spoken to suicide groups and having been through personal grief myself, I had an inkling of what to expect, but it was all so raw. When someone does end their own life, [there are] so many questions, people feeling guilty, why didn’t we see it, why didn’t we do more, and all surrounded by this massive taboo. I found it eye opening, so revealing as to what goes on in people’s minds.

AC: When you land in your air ambulance and you get out, what on earth do they say when they see you?

PW: We are only likely to be there if people are in deep trauma or unconscious.

AC: But the other people there?

PW: We are often the first on the scene. Also, I do hang back a little. We land, we secure the scene, I will be sorting the comms for the next flight, and then I might be running around helping with equipment and so on.

AC: Nobody ever has to explain, say, “Sorry, don’t worry about him”?

PW: Most people seem to guess, but I do keep as far back as I can and let the team do what they have to do. I maybe carry the stretcher, carry the kit, sort the comms for the next leg. It is all very fast paced.

AC: Why do the three of you work together on Heads Together?

PW: It is a bit of an experiment really. The Royal Family has not normally done this, three members of the family pulling together to focus on one thing. Normally things are quite disjointed, we follow our own interests and see where it goes, but we thought, well, if we tied it together and had a focused approach, how would that work? We wanted to see the impact we could have.

AC: You must get bombarded with approaches and requests? How do you decide what causes and events to support? Do you try to be strategic about it?

PW: Focused rather than strategic, I would say. When I settle on something, I want to dig deep, I want to understand what I am involved in, I want to understand the complexities of all the issues and, above all, I want to make an impact.

AC: Do you not get frustrated, though? Of course, there are advantages to your position but there are limitations too, because you cannot stray into politics. So you can’t do what I do and bang the drum for more resources and more action from government. Is that not really frustrating?

PW: It can be frustrating at times. I watch the political world, I am interested in it, at times I feel there are things going on I could really help with, but you have to understand where you sit and what the limits are; and with regard to what we do in our charity work, I like to think you can do just as much good but in a different direction.

AC: It’s great you guys are getting involved in mental health. Generally, my worry, though, is there is a danger that making improvements on stigma and taboos is seen as a substitute for services, not an accompaniment. Presumably you saying something like that goes beyond acceptable limits?

PW: No, not at all. I can say that. If I attack government policy, no, I can’t, but I can certainly make that kind of point. What we can do is convene, bring people together, organise private meetings, get experts in one room who might otherwise not always meet, they tend not to refuse an invitation, and we can thrash things out.

AC: Is it very much Harry on veterans, Kate on addiction and young women, you on men in general?

PW: A little bit. Harry has the Invictus Games and focuses a lot on veterans. But we are not stuck in our boxes. We are all three of us trying to understand the tentacles of mental health, which go everywhere. I do think if you are focused about general aims you can have a much greater impact. So we do try to stay focused, not splurge around.

AC: Are you in the mental health space for the long haul?

PW: Medium to long term, definitely. What we would love to do is smash the taboo. Getting the London Marathon as the mental health marathon, that was a big thing, and I hope we are reaching a tipping point. But it is a bit like wading through treacle. It is tough. We are now looking at a legacy programme. We are not going to rush, and the mental health sector has to believe in what we might propose, so we are getting expert opinion and then we will pick and choose and decide what we do.

AC: Why don’t you do the London Marathon yourself?

PW: I would love to, but from the policing point of view, they tested it and they were like, “What?” I am keen to do a marathon but it won’t be London.

AC: What about getting a treadmill in here and doing it while everyone else is pounding the streets?

PW: It would be so boring.

AC: Be great television.

PW: I think I would have mental health issues if I was just staring at that wall. I do want to do it though - and the training. In the military we did plenty of similar things to marathons, like yomping over the Brecon Beacons with a ton of kit on your back. I am just pleased we got London as the mental health marathon.

AC: Do you have specific goals and outcomes for the campaign?

PW: Smashing the taboo is our biggest aim. We can’t go anywhere much until that’s done. People can’t access services till they feel less ashamed, so we must tackle the taboo, the stigma, for goodness sake, this is the 21st century. I’ve been really shocked how many people live in fear and in silence because of mental illness. I just don’t understand it. I know I come across as quite reserved and shy, I don’t always have my emotions brewing, but behind closed doors I think about the issues, I get very passionate about things. I rely on people around me for opinions, and I am a great believer in communication on these issues. I cannot understand how families, even behind closed doors, still find it so hard to talk about it. I am shocked we are so worried about saying anything about the true feelings we have. Because mental illness is inside our heads, invisible, it means others tread so carefully, and people don’t know what to say, whereas if you have a broken leg in plaster, everyone knows what to say.

AC: This is my vested interest speaking here, but what with the marathon and the other things, do you think you might stay in this mental health space for good?

PW: We want to see what impact we can have.

AC: You are making an impact now.

PW: I feel we’re going in the right direction, but not making as much impact as we would like. You know what it is like, you want to get there, grapple with all the issues, get there quickly, make the change that is needed.

AC: But in your position, can you do that?

PW: You can, but you have to do it carefully. Maybe we do make change but the way we do it is slower. We get the benefits of more publicity for the things we do.

AC: I do remember when your father’s letters used to come into Number Ten. Will you go down that route, with his very frank letters to ministers?

PW: [Laughs.] Could you read them?

AC: It wasn’t the handwriting that was the problem.

PW: I have written to ministers but purely to point them towards people I think they should see. So a charity might ask me if I can help with someone and I can help get them access to the people in government.

AC: So you don’t lobby but you introduce?

PW: There are issues I am interested in and I am happy to connect people to ministers.

AC: But you’re perhaps not as robust as your father?

PW: My father has always come at this from a depth of knowledge and a desire to help. He only gets involved in anything when he has those two things: knowledge matched to a desire to help. He genuinely cares. We can argue till the cows come home about whether what he says is right or wrong, but he lives this stuff every day, goes into minute detail, wants to help inform opinion and provide knowledge. I would love to know what the public really think, whether they feel shocked or pleased he gets involved. He has done this for a long, long time, and I think he has used his role really well to raise a lot of questions that people need to ask.

AC: So what might this mental health legacy be?

PW: One idea is getting mental health first aiders in schools. Teachers are under such pressure, they face so many challenges every day. They cannot be expected to be mental health counsellors as well, so we thought there must be a way of having mental health first aiders who can be attached to one or two schools.

AC: Is that something you would promote or fund?

PW: That is what we need to work out. It is a bit of a challenge, but we have a whole range of ideas we are looking at.

AC: Now, tell me about the idea of the films - and thank you for asking me to do one.

PW: Thank for you doing it. I watched it this morning.

AC: What was the purpose of them?

PW: This was predominantly about the importance of the conversation. The point we wanted to get over was that, often, talking is the best thing you can do - it can start the whole process of recovery. For a lot of people things brew up, particularly men maybe, they don’t want to talk about problems.

AC: When you were growing up, when you were still at school, did you feel you were surrounded by people who couldn’t talk about feelings?

PW: Yes, I think so, but I do think a generational shift has gone on. If I look at my parents’ generation, there was a lot more stiff upper lip going on. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for the stiff upper lip, and, for those of us in public life, times when you have to maintain it, but behind closed doors, in normal everyday life, we have to be more open and upfront with our feelings and emotions. Mental health in the workplace is a huge issue, and a sensitive area, and leadership is important here. When you see people in high-powered jobs in the City and big corporations who got there despite their mental health problems, that is a huge success story and it shouldn’t be seen as anything else.

AC: Or maybe people get there because of their mental health problems too.

PW: Absolutely.

AC: I feel I owe mine quite a lot.

PW: Absolutely, but what is really important here is that we are normalising mental health, so if a CEO comes out and says, “I went through this, I got through these dark times,” that is amazing, it normalises, it has an impact then in that organisation and beyond. But without that kind of thing, people tend to make excuses, avoid talking about issues that may be affecting them, pretend everything is fine.

AC: So as an employer, if one of your staff came and saw you and said, “I am really struggling,” do you think you would deal with that properly?

PW: Definitely. I am not pretending I am an amazing counsellor, or a specialist, I’m not, but I would take it seriously and if they needed help I would find it for them.

AC: Now, on the stiff upper lip, I can see why there may be a place for that. But listen… my mother died when I was 56, she had a full life, died quickly, relatively painlessly, but it was very upsetting. I am not sure I could have walked behind her coffin with millions of people around the world looking at me, without crying.

PW: No.

AC: So how hard was that?

PW: It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But if I had been in floods of tears the entire way round how would that have looked?

AC: How can you not be in floods of tears if you feel like being in floods of tears?

PW: In the situation I was in, it was self-preservation. I didn’t feel comfortable anyway, having that massive outpouring of emotion around me. I am a very private person, and it was not easy. There was a lot of noise, a lot of crying, a lot of wailing, people were throwing stuff, people were fainting.

AC: As you were walking?

PW: Yes. It was a very unusual experience. It was something I don’t think anyone could have predicted. Looking back, the outpouring of grief and emotion was very touching but it was very odd to be in that situation.

AC: When you were up at Balmoral through the week, were you conscious of how big it all was down here in London?

PW: No, not at all. All I cared about was that I had lost my mum.

AC: So you were protected from everything happening on the Mall?

PW: Yes. I was 15, Harry almost 13, and the overwhelming thing was we had lost our mother.

AC: So when you came back, and you saw how big the reaction was?

PW: I didn’t take it in. I still didn’t realise what was going on, really.

AC: Did you grieve?

PW: That is a very good question. [Pause.] Probably not properly. I was in a state of shock for many years.

AC: Years?

PW: Yes, absolutely. People might find that weird, or think of shock as something that is there, it hits you, then in an hour or two, maybe a day or two, you are over it. Not when it is this big a deal; when you lose something so significant in your life, so central, I think the shock lasts for many years.

AC: My favourite soundbite of the Blair era was not from him, but your grandmother after 9/11, when she said, “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

PW: Yes, absolutely.

AC: But for you to say you felt you were in shock for years - how much harder is it when you are having to grieve or try to grieve with this extraordinary level of global scrutiny, and the endless ridiculous fascination in every detail of your and your mother’s lives.

PW: It does make it more difficult. It doesn’t make you less human. You’re the same person, it is a part of the job to have the interest. The thing is, you can’t bring all your baggage everywhere you go. You have to project the strength of the United Kingdom - that sounds ridiculous, but we have to do that. You can’t just be carrying baggage and throwing it out there and putting it on display everywhere you go. My mother did put herself right out there and that is why people were so touched by her. But I am determined to protect myself and the children, and that means preserving something for ourselves. I think I have a more developed sense of self-preservation.

AC: Yet the Heads Together campaign is all about saying we should talk, be more open about our emotions, out with the stiff upper lip, in with more talking.

PW: Absolutely.

AC: So is it different for you?

PW: Well, I am in the role I am in. But if I had mental health issues I would happily talk about them. I think the closest I got was the trauma I suffered when I lost my mother, the scale of the grief, and I still haven’t necessarily dealt with that grief as well as I could have done over the years.

AC: Who do you talk to?

PW: Family, friends, I talk to those around me who I trust.

AC: But it can’t be easy in your position to find people you can trust totally.

PW: It is hard. But I have always believed in being very open and honest. One of the few strengths I might have is I am good at reading people, and I can usually tell if someone is just being nice because of who I am, and saying stuff for the wrong reasons.

AC: Have you ever talked to people other than friends and family about your feelings?

PW: No I have not talked to a specialist or anyone clinical, but I have friends who are good listeners, and, on grief, I find talking about my mother and keeping her memory alive very important. I find it therapeutic to talk about her, and to talk about how I feel.

AC: So we are coming up to the 20th anniversary of her death. Are you looking forward to that? Or are you dreading it?

PW: I am not looking forward to it, no, but I am in a better place about it than I have been for a long time, where I can talk about her more openly, talk about her more honestly, and I can remember her better, and publicly talk about her better. It has taken me almost 20 years to get to that stage. I still find it difficult now because at the time it was so raw. And also it is not like most people’s grief, because everyone else knows about it, everyone knows the story, everyone knows her. It is a different situation for most people who lose someone they love, it can be hidden away or they can choose if they want to share their story. I don’t have that choice really. Everyone has seen it all.

AC: The first time I met your mother, in 1994, she said, “Why did you write those horrible things about me when you were a journalist?” I said, “My God, I can’t believe you read that stuff.” But she did. I was shocked that she had read it and also remembered it, it was years earlier. It made me think at the time that some people reach a certain level of fame at which media and public cease to see them as human beings. Do you think that is what happened to her, and do you think it has ever happened to you?

PW: Not with me, no. I think with her it was a unique case. The media issue with my mother was probably the worst any public figure has had to deal with.

AC: What? The intrusion, the harassment?

PW: Yes, but more the complete salacious appetite for anything, anything at all about her, even if there was no truth in it, none whatsoever.

AC: So you don’t have any sympathy with the argument that she cultivated her own friends in the media and fed the whole thing?

PW: I have been exploring this. Remember, I was young at the time. I didn’t know what was going on. I know some games and shenanigans were played, but she was isolated, she was lonely, things within her own life got very difficult and she found it very hard to get her side of the story across. I think she was possibly a bit naive and ended up playing into the hands of some very bad people.

AC: Media people?

PW: Yes. This was a young woman with a high profile position, very vulnerable, desperate to protect herself and her children and I feel strongly there was no responsibility taken by media executives who should have stepped in, and said, “Morally, what we are doing, is this right, is this fair, is this moral?” Harry and I were so young and I think if she had lived, when we were older we would have played that role, and I feel very sad and I still feel very angry that we were not old enough to be able to do more to protect her, not wise enough to step in and do something that could have made things better for her. I hold a lot of people to account that they did not do what they should have done, out of human decency.

AC: Were you not tempted to give evidence to the Leveson Inquiry?

PW: We discussed it, but decided in the end not to. Remember, we were the first to expose the phone hacking.

AC: You seem to get a hard time from one or two papers these days. Do you think there is a bit of score-settling going on?

PW: I don’t know.

AC: Do you get followed and chased by paps on bikes?

PW: Not often. But there is a lot of quite sophisticated surveillance that goes on.

AC: So even if not phone hacking, which is far from guaranteed, the press have moved on to other things?

PW: I suppose the one glimmer of light is that because of what happened to my mother, we do not get it as bad as she did. We still have problems, for sure, but do have a little more protection because of the ridiculous levels it got to for my mother - the fact she was killed being followed, being chased, I think there are more boundaries to their actions.

AC: Really?

PW: It is a little better than it used to be.

AC: During the week of her death, Tony Blair spoke to your father and he said to me afterwards, “This is going to be a problem, those boys are going to need help, they are going to despise the media, blame them for her death, yet the media will be a part of their lives.”

PW: Yes, they are.

AC: When you were in Paris recently, posing for hundreds of photographers with President Hollande, did you look at them and wonder if any of them were among the ones who chased her that night?

PW: I’m afraid those are the kind of things I have just had to come to terms with. It is so hard to explain, using only words, what it was like for my mother. If I could only bring out what I saw and what happened in my mother’s life and death, and the role the media played in that, that is the only way people would ever understand it. I can try to explain it in words, but to live it, see it, breathe it, you can’t explain how horrendous it was for her.

AC: Do you think the reaction to her death was a big factor in diminishing the stiff upper lip approach, and changed the way we mourn? Do you think the kind of reaction we saw when, say, David Bowie died last year, would have been the same without that reaction for your mother?

PW: No it wouldn’t. The massive outpouring around her death has really changed the British psyche, for the better.

AC: You do think it is for the better?

PW: Yes, I do think it is for the better.

AC: How much did that week after your mother’s death bring you and Harry together?

PW: We are very close.

AC: And that feeling of shock, sadness, you never felt it strayed over to what I would know as an illness, depression?

PW: I have never felt depressed in the way I understand it, but I have felt incredibly sad. And I feel the trauma of that day has lived with me for 20 years, like a weight, but I would not say that has led me to depression. I still want to get up in the morning, I want to do stuff, I still feel I can function. Believe me, at times it has felt like it would break me, but I have felt I have learned to manage it and I’ve talked about it. On the days when it has got bad I have never shied away from talking about it and addressing how I feel. I have gone straight to people around me and said, “Listen I need to talk about this today.”

AC: Like when?

PW: Last week with the air ambulance, I flew to a really bad case, a small boy and a car accident. I have seen quite a lot of car injuries, and you have to deal with what you see, but every now and then one gets through the armour. This one penetrated the armour, not just me but the crew who have seen so much. It was the feelings of loss from a parent’s point of view, the parents of the boy. Anything to do with parent and child, and loss, it is very difficult, it has a big effect on me, it takes me straight back to my emotions back when my mother died, and I did go and talk to people at work about it. I felt so sad. I felt that one family’s pain and it took me right back to the experience I had. The more relatable pain is to your own life the harder it is to shake it off.

AC: How has the passing of time helped?

PW: They do say time is a healer, but I don’t think it heals fully. It helps you deal with it better. I don’t think it ever fully heals.

AC: Is there a part of you that doesn’t want it to heal fully because for that to happen might make her feel more distant? So you feel the need to stay strongly attached? If grief is the price we pay for love, maybe you want to keep the grief out of fear that loss of grief means you love her less?

PW: One thing I can always say about my mother is she smothered Harry and me in love. Twenty years on I still feel the love she gave us and that is testament to her massive heart and her amazing ability to be a great mother.

AC: How different do you think the country would be if she was still here?

PW: I have thought about that, but mainly from my own perspective. I would like to have had her advice. I would love her to have met Catherine and to have seen the children grow up. It makes me sad that she won’t, that they will never know her.

AC: What about the public Diana?

PW: I think she would have carried on, really getting stuck into various causes and making change. If you look at some of the issues she focused on, leprosy, Aids, landmines, she went for some tough areas. She would have carried on with that.

AC: She was an extraordinary woman.

PW: She was.

AC: How hard do you find the scrutiny? I mean you can’t even do a bit of bad dad dancing without someone taking a video?

PW: [Laughs.] Honestly, I can dance better than that. It’s true though, camera phones, Twitter, there’s not much privacy. I don’t think it was too bad. It wasn’t as if I was falling out of a nightclub, totally wasted. I think people realise everyone has to blow off a bit of energy and tension every now and then.

AC: So how did you feel when some of the papers said you don’t work hard enough?

PW: Criticism is part of the turf, I’m afraid. I think the public are much more nuanced. I have my air ambulance job, I carry out the duties the Queen asks me to, I have my charities and causes and I am raising a young family, so I can’t let that criticism get to me.

AC: A couple of the papers do seem to have turned against you, though?

PW: There is a certain element of Fleet Street getting fed up with nice stories about us. They want the past back again, soap, drama.

AC: Do you see it as part of your job to avoid giving them that? A bit of normality, stability.

PW: I couldn’t do my job without the stability of the family. Stability at home is so important to me. I want to bring up my children in a happy, stable, secure world, and that is so important to both of us as parents. I want George to grow up in a real, living environment, I don’t want him growing up behind palace walls, he has to be out there. The media make it harder but I will fight for them to have a normal life.

AC: But surely you must accept it is an abnormal life?

PW: Totally, but I can still try to protect them as children.

AC: The Queen, your father, you, now George. Four people on the planet who might one day be the head of state in the UK. It is fair to say republicanism has lost, not least thanks to your grandmother. The monarchy seems to have bucked the trend even though we live in a non-deferential, anti-establishment age. Do you feel that?

PW: I do feel the monarchy is in a good place and, like you say, my grandmother has done a remarkable job leading the country - her vision, her sense of duty, her loyalty, her steadfastness, it has been unwavering. We now have three generations of working royals, four altogether, and having that movement through the generations allows for the monarchy to stay relevant and keep up with modern times. You are only as good as your last gig and it is really important you look forward, plan, have a vision.

AC: Do you not look at the Queen, yet another garden party, yet another investiture, yet another state visit, and think how on earth can she keep going?

PW: Yes I do.

AC: Do you, your father and the Queen ever sit down, just the three of you, and just natter?

PW: [Laughs.] What, about Lady Gaga or something? [Prince William had recently recorded a Facetime chat with Lady Gaga for the campaign.]

AC: I was thinking more about being head of state. I mean, how do you learn?

PW: You learn on the job. There is no rulebook. I sometimes wonder if there should be, but in the end I think probably not. Having that difference in how we do things makes the Royal Family more interesting and more flexible. If we all followed the same line, it would all be quite stifled. Our characters are different and the different opinions are important to have.

AC: Your grandmother has always believed in there being a bit of mystique attached to it all as well.

PW: Absolutely.

AC: Never ever given an interview.

PW: No. Never. I seem to have sold the pass on that one.

MBTI FUNCTIONS: How to Tell If Your Functions Are Introverted or Extroverted

So, I’ve been trying to figure out a more concise way to explain/differentiate between the extroverted and introverted versions of the functions. It seems like there are lots of people who get stuck specifically with questions like “I can’t tell if I use Fi or Fe.” Or, “What’s the difference between Te and Ti?” Or, “I understand Se, but don’t understand Si. Help?” And I think I’ve found a way to explain the difference across the board.

Extroverted functions are pliable. They are flexible and are in constant flux and motion. These are the things in your life that you see as “fun”, these are the things that you take as they come to you and don’t take too terribly seriously.

Introverted functions are sturdy. They are concrete and extremely difficult to change. These are your “values”, these are the things in your life that you’d never back down from.

I know that talking about “values” brings about images of Fi specifically, but just hear me out.

To explain in detail, I’ll use my own functional stack: ENFP.

So, we’re gonna start with THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN NE AND NI.

First, we must define iNtuition as a function. INtuition, in my definition, are the purely creative abstractions everyone is capable of making. To some, it’s the seemingly useless “what ifs” or “what could bes” that plague their mind when they should be doing more important things. To others, it is the well from which they experience the world, experiencing life less as a participant and more as an observer. Life is to be extrapolated upon before all else. Symbolism and pattern recognition come easy to all higher iNtuition users, but everyone has some version of iNtuition and is perfectly capable of being creative.

Now, the true difference between Ne and Ni comes in how concrete and immovable you feel your creative extrapolations are.

Do you see your creativity as a fun aspect of your personality? Do you enjoy “free associating”, tossing around ideas without a care in the world? Are the meanings behind the art you take in and the art you create subjective or constantly changing? Then you’re probably Ne. Ne sees their creativity as not to be taken seriously. Creativity is fun!

Or conversely, do you see your creativity as a serious part of your personality? Do you find that there is “one true meaning” behind everything, and it is your job to figure out what that meaning is? Do you take this job very seriously, and not as a fleeting experiment that you grow bored of? Do you feel somewhat affronted when other people tell you your interpretations or art or events are “wrong”, or maybe even if they only imply it? Then you’re probably Ni. Creativity is serious business to an Ni user, and it is not to be joked around with or taken lightly. The deep, hidden meanings of art and the world at large are sacred to Ni, and there is only one true answer. Creativity is important, not necessarily “fun”.

A great way to see the differences in reality is to think about how you watch television, or read books, or take in anything creative. Ask yourself this: How many times do you enjoy watching a show or reading a book? Do you enjoy it maybe once, possibly twice, feeling like you got the idea the first time, only rereading if you didn’t completely understand it? Or, do you find yourself constantly rereading/rewatching, getting a brand new experience out of the media each time? If you do the former, there’s a good chance you’re Ni, taking the meaning of that media deeply seriously, and yet finding no reason to revisit that media for another analysis. If they want to reread it, they will, but the experience will be almost identical every time, unless something has caused them to change their interpretation, which would need to be drastic. If you do the latter, you’re probably Ne, who can rewatch the same movie over and over and gain an entirely unique perspective on it each time. They enjoy reanalyzing media for the sake of reanalyzing it, and will rarely experience an idea in exactly the same way as before.

This method can be pasted onto every function, perhaps making them a bit easier to understand. Here are THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN FE AND FI.

Do you find personal interactions fun? Is making friends something you would consider a past time, where the friendship never has to go much deeper beyond enjoying the others’ company? Are your feelings malleable and changeable based on your surroundings and the situation? Do you feel like you mold your likes and dislikes based upon who you’re with? If so, you may be Fe.

Do you find personal interactions very serious? Do you think that friendships are deeply personal and should be made with people who you have a deep connection with almost exclusively? Are your feelings concrete and unchanging, even if the circumstances surrounding you were altered? Do you find changing or altering your feelings towards things/people/or situations to be betrayal of your true self, almost always standing your ground when faced with opposition? If so, you may be Fi.

For this one, think of how you resolve conflict. Are you someone that gets accused of bringing up the same grievances over and over? Do you find open discussion easy, often pouring your concerns out as you feel them? Do you feel like you can never quite put certain problems you have to rest, and you need to constantly revisit problems in your own mind? Fe users, in a similar way as Ne users, can have a different emotional experience within a similar sounding crisis every time. Their feelings are changing and malleable, and what upset them one time may not upset them another, and vice versa. This could explain the stereotype of Fe users enjoying soap operas and rom coms, as each viewing is a totally new emotional experience, and new and changing emotional experiences are enjoyable to the Fe user. Feelings are fun!

Or, do you find conflict deathly serious? Are you annoyed when certain topics get brought up over and over, feeling like your feelings were sorted the first time? Do you find that open discussions are painfully difficult, and get described as having to “pull teeth” to get your feelings out of you? Do you find your own emotions exhausting and intense, which leads to emotionally avoidance behavior? Fi feels it’s emotions almost painfully, finding the idea of actively seeking out emotional experiences to be ridiculous and sometimes scary. Conflict is more difficult with Fi, but the resolutions are usually more concrete when they finally happen. Feelings are deathly serious.

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TE AND TI

Do you find problem solving fun? Are there multiple ways to figure out a scenario in an efficient manner? Is the outcome of your problem solving most important to you rather than the framework used? If so, you may be Te.

Do you find problem solving very serious? Is the manner in which you solve a problem incredibly important, with the efficiency not factoring in at all? Is the framework, or frameworks, you use very important to you, preferring to find one catch-all frame that works for everything rather than using any old frame willy-nilly? If so, you may be Ti.

For this one, think of how you solve technical issues, such as a math problem or a flat tire. Are you most worried about getting the answer as quickly as possible? Or do you agonize over finding the exact right way to correct this situation, accounting for every possible misstep, taking the process far more seriously than the product? Te finds problem solving enjoyable and often feels a rush of joy whenever they find a solution. Results are most important, while the actual process itself is not meant to be taken very seriously. Problem solving is fun! But, Ti finds problem solving very serious and time consuming, preferring to ruminate over multiple possible processes to try and find the “most efficient” one, while becoming somewhat inefficient themselves. So, to Ti, problem solving is very serious.

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SE AND SI

Are physical experiences fun to you? Is eating the same food always a somewhat different experience for you? Do you feel most confident when you’re dealing in the world directly in front of you? If so, you may be Se.

Do you find physical experiences to be very serious? Do you prefer to weigh your chances on which experiences you’ll “allow in” based upon your own experience or stories you may have seen or heard? Do you approach the world with an “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” attitude? If so, you may be Si.

For this one, think about how you handle your fears. Are your fears not terribly concrete? Do you experience fear in the moment, but allow yourself to take each experience as completely unique? Do you go into each new scenario, even if it’s the same event, as new? So, although you may have been afraid the first time, you may not be afraid the second? Or, are your fears very concrete and very serious? Do you tend to avoid bad experiences like the plague after you’ve had them? Is discomfort something you take very personally, which you avoid at all costs? Se could smell the same smell on two different occasions and have a totally different take away each time. Si will tend to experience their senses in a similar way each time, wanting to experience only those things they enjoyed while avoiding that which they didn’t enjoy.

I hope that this method shined some light upon the functions!! As a final summary:

Do you think creativity is fun (Ne) or serious (Ni)?

Do you think feelings are fun (Fe) or serious (Fi)?

Do you think problem solving is fun (Te) or serious (Ti)?

Do you think physical experiences are fun (Se) or serious (Si)?

Hux - “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

Originally posted by couplefeelingz

Request: @trelaney with #70 from the angst list

Notes: Ha, so idk if this counts as agnst but theres some good shamless fluff, I think!!! I think I’ve written more this weekend than I ever have before 😅 but please don’t be afraid to send in any requests, I’m up for anything!!! Thanks <3

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Amnesia- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Prompt: A rough day for Tom leads to him remembering of his heartbreak. He wishes for amnesia and fatee causes a car accident that very night.

Word Count: 3600

Based on “Amnesia” by 5 Seconds of Summer:

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia

And forget about the stupid little things

Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you

And the memories I never can escape

‘Cause I’m not fine at all

~~~~

It was a long day for Tom and everything seemed to go wrong. He was stressed and far beyond upset. Having multiple interviewers ask him things like “where you have been?” and “how are you after the breakup with Y/N?”. Missing you was just the depressing icing on the even more depressing cake for him. He hated to think about what your relationship could have been, had he just not been famous. He yearned to see you again, after all it was approximately a month ago when you told him it was over and he needed to move out of your flat.

Leaving his latest premier in London, he entered his car with the thought “I wish that I could wake up with amnesia”.

~~~

Tom sighed as he woke up from his deep sleep. He yawned as he went to rub his eyes when he realized his arm didn’t feel quite right. His eyes peeled open and he was met with a bright white ceiling, not the familiar warm cream ceiling of his home. He looked around the room to find that he was alone and it seemed to be a hospital room. He looked down at the blanket covering his legs. No wonder he was cold; the blanket and the hospital gown he was currently wearing were thin. He glanced at his arm- it was wrapped tightly in a white cast. He blinked a few more times, trying to recall how he ended up in a hospital room and how his arm was broken. The door opened and in walked a doctor followed by his best friend, Harrison.

“We cannot be positive how severe it is.” The doctor said to Harrison. Both visitors smiled as they registered Tom as awake.

“It’s good to see you’re up.” The doctor spoke to Tom, making his way over to him with a clipboard in his hands.

“Tom, how are you feeling?” Harrison asked, arriving at his friend’s bedside.

“I think I’m good. What’s wrong? What happened?” Tom questioned in worry, looking between his concerned friend and the solemn doctor.

“You were in a car accident. Can you tell me what the last thing you remember was?” The doctor replied.

“I was driving home.” Tom answered and Harrison let out a sigh in relief. He knew that much was true about the accident. He hoped the doctor was wrong about amnesia.

“And where is home, Mr. Holland?”

“My flat.” He stated, making Harrison’s smile fade. They didn’t live in a flat- not anymore. Tom looked over at his friend in confusion, “I was going to my flat- the one I share with Y/N.”

It was then that Harrison’s heart dropped. The accident was worse than he thought- Tom was suffering from amnesia and didn’t even know it. He looked at the doctor for help. How was he supposed to tell his best mate that he no longer lived with you, his now ex-girlfriend?

“Do you recall the most recent date?” The doctor questioned. He listened as Tom told him the exact date of a month ago.

“Thank you. We will run some more tests and I will inform you when you can return-“ the doctor paused, “home.” He turned to Harrison, “May I speak with you outside?”

“Sure.” Harrison nodded and went to follow. They both stopped when Tom spoke up.

“Harrison, is everything okay? Is Y/N okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Get some rest.” Harrison replied, leaving Tom alone in the room.

“Doctor, what can we do? He doesn’t remember the past month at all.”

“He needs to go back through his life during that time.” The doctor said, “This will be a traumatic time for him and he needs to settle into what is normal for him. He needs to know he has amnesia, but he must not worry about losing the past month’s memory.”

“We might have a problem there.” Harrison paused, “Y/N is his ex-girlfriend. She broke up with him about a month ago. I’m betting his last memory was just a short while before that happened.”

“Well, like I said, this is a very traumatic time for him. If you tell him now about his current situation, it might not go well for his brain. Do you think this Y/N would be understanding enough about his amnesia to allow him to go back to a month ago?”

“I’ll try, doctor.”

“If she refuses, then it would be best that he stayed at with his family or his current home. While you figure his arrangements out, I will go order his tests.” The doctor left Harrison alone in the hall. He took a deep breath and peeked in the window to Tom’s room to see his friend fiddling with the TV remote, attempting to change the channel. Harrison got out his phone and pulled up your contact. He shuddered thinking about the last time he talked to you- it was right after you broke up with Tom and Harrison, like any good friend would do, called you up in anger. The conversation- more like argument- did not end well and Harrison almost deleted your contact after that, but he knew it could one day come in handy. Sighing, he pressed the dial button and waited for you to answer.

“What do you want, Osterfield?” You grumbled in annoyance.

“Are you going to be home later today? I need to talk to you about something.” Harrison said. He knew you well when you were dating Tom, and he still knew you well enough to know how to manipulate you into helping Tom. Over the phone, you could hang up at any moment. In person, you’d be a lot easier to break.

“If you want to egg my house, you should do it when I’m not home.” You stated.

“No, I’m not going to do that. I just need to have an adult conversation with you concerning some,” He paused searching for the right word that would prevent him from specifically saying Tom, “recent occurrences.”

“Recent occurrences? Harrison, what is your problem?”

“Look, are you going to be around to meet up or not?” Harrison asked.

“Fine, yes, I will be home.” You sighed and hung up the phone. Harrison let out a small smile. When he entered Tom’s room again, he saw his friend had found his phone on the bedside table.

“Hey, Harrison. I was just about to call Y/N to tell her I’m okay. Want to join me?” Tom asked with a happy grin.

“No!” Harrison shouted before clearing his throat and lowering his volume, “No, you can’t. I just called her and let her know. She’s got a work meeting for the next few hours, so she won’t be able to answer her phone.”


“Oh, well, I guess I’ll call when the tests are done. What am I getting tested for exactly?”

“The doctor just wants to assess the damage.” He replied.

“Alright, makes sense. So what happened in the past month? And when did I change my lockscreen to just Tessa? Last I remember it was Y/N and I.”

“You had a premier last night.” Harrison said, changing the topic. He attempted to keep it off you as much as possible.

~~~

Hours later, the doctor gave Tom the okay to leave the hospital. Harrison drove Tom to your flat in silence as he anticipated how wrong this could go. He sighed and turned to Tom as they parked.

“Tom, why don’t you wait here for a minute? Y/N still thinks you’re out of town, so I’m going to talk to her for a few to get her ready for your surprise, okay?”

“Yeah I can do that.” Tom laughed with a nod, “Just be quick about it- I want to see my girlfriend!”

“I will. Just hang on.” Harrison said as he exited the car and went up to your door. He knocked on it and, after a moment, you opened it.

“Yes?” You asked with crossed arms.

“I need you to do me a huge favor.”

“And that would be?” You questioned, raising your eyebrows at him.

“I need you to let Tom stay here for a bit.”

“Are you crazy? Harrison, no. I’m done with Tom.” You stated, unfolding your arms and going to shut the door on him. Harrison put his hands on the door in attempt to stop you.

“He has amnesia, Y/N.” He said and you stopped. He could see the worry in your eyes that you were desperately trying to coat over with pity. “There was an accident on his way home from the premier last night, and the last day Tom remembers is the day before you broke up with him. The doctor says it’d be best if he stayed here with you, since having amnesia is already traumatic enough. Tom doesn’t need the extra trauma that his girlfriend of three and a half years broke up with him out of the blue.”

“Are you trying to guilt trip me?” You tried to say it without any sincerity in your voice, but you knew Harrison had caught it.

“Please, Y/N. Just let him believe everything is fine. When he starts remembering things, then he can come back and live with me like he was.”

“So what? I’m just supposed to pretend that I love him again?” You asked.

“Don’t act like you haven’t stopped.” Harrison said, making you grow silent. He wasn’t wrong there. Although you were the one who ended the relationship, you still loved Tom. He was rarely around, and you were beginning to feel like your relationship was forever going to remain the way it was. After three and a half years (plus living together for over a year), you felt like it was time to either settle down or call it quits. Harrison went to say something else, but he shut his mouth as Tom arrived beside him at your door.

“Hey darling!” Tom smiled.

“Tom, your arm-” you started, but he cut you off.

“It’s nothing. I came out in one piece.” He shrugged lightly. You opened the door all the way for him to make his way inside. He gave you a kiss on the cheek, before going to make himself a cup of tea. Harrison looked at you with a smirk.

“Pity. That’s all this is.” You spoke quietly so that Tom couldn’t hear.

“Sure. I’m going to grab some stuff of his from my place. If he asks, he’s been traveling for the press tour and his luggage is at my place. And you were in meetings all morning. Keep this lowkey- only family can know. His family doesn’t know quite yet, so maybe keep him just off his phone completely. Bye Y/N. Have fun.” With that, Harrison was off to get Tom his things. You sighed and closed the door to find Tom sitting on the couch, enjoying a warm cup of tea. His broken arm rested on a pillow as the other adjusted the blanket on him.

“Need help?” You asked with a laugh. You sat on the couch beside him and cuddle up to him, then adjusted the blanket to lay over the two of you comfortably. Missing the feeling of his warmth made it easy for you to fall back into your old ways. Soon enough, you found yourself sleeping on the couch with your ex-boyfriend sound asleep right beside you.

You and Tom were both startled awake by Harrison entering the flat. Tom smiled upon seeing his luggage. You, on the other hand, had to prevent yourself from shifting uncomfortably in Tom’s good arm- while sleeping, he had wrapped his arm around you to bring you closer, making your head fall to his chest.

“Good to see you settled back in nicely, Tom.” He said, sending a smirk your way.

“Yep. After all, this is my home.” As he spoke, Tom tugged you closer to him. Harrison went to place Tom’s luggage in your bedroom like the good friend he is. “Hey, Harrison, did you tell my mum about the accident? She just texted me about dinner tonight, but I don’t recall the occasion.”

“Um, no. I didn’t want her to worry until the doctor had the logistics of your accident. Why don’t I call her and set it all up? You need rest anyway.”

“I’ll make you a fresh cup.” You said, getting up to make Tom another thing of tea as Harrison stepped outside to call Nikki.

“Hello, Harrison.” He could practically hear the smile in her voice when she picked up the phone.

“Hi, so I don’t want you to freak out about what I’m going to say. Everything’s fine, but just don’t freak out.” Harrison said.

“Well, I can’t say that I’m not worried. What’s the matter, Harrison? Is Tom okay?” She asked with worry, even though he could tell she was trying to hide it.

“Tom’s alright. Last night, he was in a car accident and I was with him in the hospital all day. Aside from a broken arm and a small lump on his head, he’s physically fine.”

“Oh thank God. I thought you were about to tell me my baby’s dead.” She said with relief.

“He’s alive, don’t worry. He has a minor case of amnesia though.”

“Amnesia? How bad is it? Does he remember me?” The worry was back and more prevalent than before.

“He doesn’t remember the past month.”

“Well,” She let out a small laugh, “It’s not like the past month was very eventful for him.” She was referring to the countless texts and calls she received from both Tom and Harrison about how much Tom was suffering over the breakup, whether it be about the new ice cream flavor Tom discovered (that Nikki swears can only be found the deepest corner of heartbreak) or about how much Tom appreciates Tessa for being the only girl (non-relative, at least) to love him unconditionally.

“There’s the catch.” Harrison said and she inhaled a sharp breath.

“Please don’t tell me that his last memory is being with Y/N.”

“It’s not. His last memory is driving home to Y/N literally the day before she dumped him.”

“Oh no. Have you told him?” Nikki asked as Harrison peeked his head around the corner. You were cuddled up to Tom once again as the Great British Bake Off played. Tom’s good hand was fiddling with one of yours while he watched you laugh at a dumb joke he made.

“Nope.”

“Where is he now? Is he at home with you?”

“He thinks he’s at home. I’m with Tom at Y/N’s. She agreed to letting him stay here and she’s pretending like nothing ever happened. The doctor said that Tom’s gone through enough trauma with the accident that it would be best if he picked up where he thinks he left off.”

“So he’s back with Y/N?”

“Basically. They look happy, just like the last time I saw them together.” Harrison said.

“If the doctor says this is best for Tom, then I am fine with it. Will she be joining us for dinner? Of course, you’re always welcome to come.”

“Yeah, we’ll all be there.” He bid her farewell and hung up the phone. He hoped that Nikki would prepare the rest of the Hollands for your presence.

To your surprise (and luck), the Hollands were all very accepting of having you back in the house. You could tell Tom’s brothers were all on edge about you; they were probably worried that you’d leave their brother hopeless again. Nikki was tense, but didn’t let it show as she greeted you with the same warmth that she once did.

~~~

“Are you remembering anything?” Harrison asked Tom during the car ride to the hospital a week later.

“Nope. It’s like this whole past month got wiped clean.” He paused, “Actually, there is something, but I can’t tell if it’s a dream or a memory.”

“What is it?”

“Every time I sleep, I see myself proposing to Y/N, and her declining me. I know I want to propose, or at least I wanted to a month ago. I just can’t imagine her actually rejecting me like that, you know?” Tom looked to Harrison, who remained silent. Harrison knew that Tom had the idea of proposing, but he never thought Tom went that far into actually doing it. He just brushed it off as Tom’s brain attempting to piece together his memories.

“It must just be a dream. I don’t remember you telling me that you proposed.” Harrison said.

“Right.” Tom nodded. He shrugged, deciding to blindly follow his friend.

As the doctor ran a few tests, Harrison worried over Tom’s “dream”. Had he really proposed and not told anybody? Or was it actually just Tom’s imagination getting the better of him? The only way Harrison would know is if he were to ask you, but he knew better than to make you remember that day. He could see it in you that you truly reverted to how you once were with Tom; you were happy and comfortable, you were in love. He knew you were filled with regret, but you were trying to restore what had been broken.

Harrison drove Tom back to your place, listening to his friend ramble on about how he just wants the amnesia to go away. He left Tom at your place and returned to his own home.

“How did it go?” You asked, greeting Tom at the door with a smile.

“It was fine. The doc doesn’t know how soon it will go away, if it ever will.” He said, “I think I’m going to lie down for a bit. I’m a bit lightheaded.”

“Want me to join you?”

“Of course, love.” Tom smiled and the two of you settled down into your bed. You kissed Tom’s cheek before snuggling into his chest.

“I love you, Tom.” You said for the first time in a month.

“I love you too.” He replied, feeling something strange in his heart. He began to question the amnesia once more. It felt like he hadn’t said those special three words in ages. He loved you, didn’t he? So why did it suddenly feel weird to say it?

Tom closed his eyes, using his good arm to comb his fingers through your hair gently. He sighed as he thought “I wish that I could wake up without amnesia”.

~~~

When Tom first awoke from his nap, he was confused. He blinked several times as he took in his surroundings. He was in his old bedroom- the room he used to share with you. He felt stiffness around his arm and looked down in shock at it being in cast. He worriedly glanced around the room to find that he was alone. His mind was racing and his heart was pounding. He attempted to successfully get out of the bed, but he tripped over his own foot and smacked the wall forcefully.

“Tom? Is everything okay?” He heard you call. His good hand grasped his head and let out a groan. Like a tsunami wave, everything came flooding back to him: the spring in his step as he arrived home to you with the ring in his pocket, you telling him “it’s over” while his heart fell, the lonely nights he spent on Harrison’s couch, the countless drinks and ice cream he went through to try to forget you, the premier and the bright paparazzi lights blinding him, the car accident, you.

“Tom?” You questioned from the doorway and he looked up at you. Your heart stopped as you saw the sorrow in his eyes; he had remembered. “Tom, I’m so sorry.”

“You lied to me.” He said, “You and Harrison both.” He was exasperated as he spoke, “You broke up with me and then you convinced me that we were still together.”

“I’m sorry. We never meant to hurt you.” You stated as you stepped into the room.

“You told me you loved me, just earlier. Was that a lie? Was that you trying to fool me when I couldn’t remember? Were you ever planning on telling me that what I had remembered then was wrong?”

“Yes, it was true. Tom, I do love you and I regret what I did weeks ago. I was upset that you weren’t around, I was being selfish-“

“But you don’t think it’s selfish that you and Harrison put up this whole facade?”

“I only did it because the doctor said it’d be best. He didn’t want you to go through anymore high stress or traumatic situations.”

“So lying to me was the plan?”

“Please, Tom. I know you’re upset and what I did was wrong. I’m sorry, for everything.”

“I don’t know.” Tom mumbled, looking down at his unsteady feet. “I know I loved you, but I’m not sure given the circumstances.” His eyes found yours again. All the pain he had gone through in the past month was coming out and you felt like breaking because of it.

“Do you want me to call Harrison so he can pick you up?” You asked quietly, unsure of exactly what he wanted and what would be best for him right now.

“Do you honestly love me still? As much as before? Or is this pity?”

“I love you more than before.” You said.

“Then I might as well stay.” He stated, slowly stepping closer to you.

“Stay?”

“Stay here with you. You are my home, Y/N. You always have been and you always will be.” He came to a stop in front of you.

“And you are mine.” You smiled as he leaned down to kiss you for the first real time in a long while. Tom never wished for amnesia again.