beyonce.jay z

Who you should fight according to Lemonade

Beyonce: Oh…why the fuck… Like you have to have a death wish??? Beyonce is more protected than the President. please don’t do this to yourself

It occurred to me, didn’t Jay and Rachel Roy see Beyonce in fucking Obsessed?? Like, this would have served as a good guideline as to why you don’t fuck with her.

If a bitch is asking you if you think you’re crazy, then you should be running cause she’s already committed to outdoing you on the crazy spectrum, like you need to leave, rn immediately. leave the breadsticks Do not fight Beyonce, if her frightening fans don’t get to you first, your life will fall apart mysteriously and no happiness will ever find you again. The only upside is she might write a song. Don’t do it, don’t fucking attempt to fight Beyonce.

Jay-Z: I mean yeah you could fight him, and honestly you could probably win, but then Beyonce would find you and end you. The only one who gets to fuck Jay up is Bey, anyone else needs to stay in their lane unless they want the wrath of the queen. You have to really love somebody to try and work stuff out with them when they really hurt you, that means you’d definitely be ended in the worst way possible, plus Blue Ivy would probably cry. However, a little ass-whoopin where it’s deserved is always good. You have my blessing, fight Jay-Z.

Rachel Roy: The condition is you can only whoop her ass if you’re whoopin Jay-Z’s at the same level, cause it takes two to tango. Home-wrecker? C’mon now we all know he opened the damn door. They both can have an order of “stomp that ho,” with a side of “you done fucked up now.” Bey won’t bail you out of jail, and she’s probably still annoyed you punched her husband, but she might let it slide cause you also got Rachel, who knows? Fight Becky, drag her by her good hair.

Solange: I…no. We all know Solange could end just about anyone. Beyonce is methodical about how she ruins you, Solange will just fuck you up. Do not fight Solange, she and Bey will team up and beat your ass so hard you’ll start thinking your booty cheeks were drums. Do not fight fucking Solange Knowles.

Happy fighting~