betty crocker brownies

Mom: Son

Mom: Son What are you doing

Mom: Are you making brownies right now

Mom: Its like midnight what the hell

Mom: I don’t understand 

Mom: WhY ArE U DoiNg thIS??!!11??

Me: ~A E S T H E T I C~

Baking Shenanigans»Miniminter

Requested;
Simon(Miniminter)
REQUEST ARE OPEN


It was the first term of your second year at Uni, and you were already having tired nights of studying, and ending in the early monings finishing up worksheets. To say the least you were exhausted, and wanted the week to be over but it was only Tuesday to your dismay.
You were working on five papers tonight, and you knew it wasn’t going to be fun. You had already finished two, working on your third already.
Twelve twenty seven in the morning was what your clock read, sighing you look at all the papers spread in front of you wishing you could just sleep.
From the kitchen, your boyfriend Simon was looking through cupboards wanting to eat something before he went to go edit another video. He’d found a box of Betty Crockers brownie mix, which he knew was your favorite, and put it out on the counter. He walked out to where you were sitting in agony, and put his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them softly. You sigh in relief, dropping the pen you had previously held in your hand.

“You need a break, Y/N.”, Simon stated quietly. You nodded your head and got up from your seat, with the help of your kind boyfriend.

He pulls you into a hug, holding you for a minute before you pulled away and dragged you to the kitchen with a giggle.

“Look what I found!”, your child-like boyfriend says while pointing to the box that sat on the counter.

A red box with a picture of brownies sat in front of you, which caused you to smile. You looked up to your goofy boyfriend with an eyebrow raised.

“You’re helping if we’re making these.” You say has you walk towards the counter.

He giggles at you and follows your steps towards the counter, grabbing the box before you. "We need one fourth cup of water and the same with vegetable oil, and one egg.” He reads off the box.

You nod your head, walking around the kitchen to retrieve the items he read. You grab the bottle of vegetable oil, the carton of eggs, a measuring cup, and a big bowl.
You set them all on the counter, going to grab the box from your boyfriend but missing the box as he lifts it out of your reach. You raise an eyebrow at him, a small smirk setting itself on your lips.

“What are you playing at Minter?” You say to the blonde, narrowing your eyes at him. He gives you a sly smile, and winks at you.

"Whatever you want me to be play at.” He says, slightly looking you up and down. “Or with.” He winks at you again, letting a smirk slip onto his face.

You roll your eyes at him, the smirk matching your boyfriends still sat at your lips. You turn back to the other ingredients, pouring the correct amount of vegetable oil into the measuring cup.

"I need the browning mix now, please.” You say turning towards the blue eyed boy you learned to love. He smiles at you, a playful glint in his eyes.

"You can have the mix, if you can reach it.” He says, raising the box above his head, making sure you can’t reach it.

You sigh slightly, standing up straight to look at your boyfriend. The height difference was very noticeable, but that’s why so many people thought you two belonged together. You look at the box that was obviously out of your own reach, but of course you were willing to try and get it.
You got to your tip-toes, stumbling slightly into Simons chest. He places his free hand onto your waist, keeping you steady. He giggles at you as you try to reach for the box in his hands, watching as you groaning slightly when your unsuccessful.

He watches you intently, and takes in your beauty. He takes notice how your Y/H/C hair is pulled into a messy pony tail, and how your Y/E/C eyes are squinted in concentration. Those are just small reasons he loves you, for there are so many more reasons he is deeply in love with you. He’s so distracted by you that he doesn’t realise that he has lowered his arm, letting you have a chance to snatch it out of his hand.

You laugh in victory, running off and away from him. Though you don’t make it far, as he had dragged you back into his embrace.

"Not so fast missy.” He whispers to you, before kissing you with all he’s got.

HOW TO MAKE SINGLE MARIJUANA BROWNIE IN THE MICROWAVE

Who really has enough weed for a whole batch anyway? I mean I do after the recent harvest, but not enough that I wanna waste it on a whole batch when I only have a total of 3 friends… including my brother… anyway here is a really simple way to make a personal weed dessert in the microwave in 15 minutes! (or even less)

You will need: Weed, butter, coffee filter, and Betty Crocker Warm Delights brownie mix (found at walmart in the baking isle)

Step 1: measure out 1-2 grams of weed. i’ve only done it with 1.6 so far so it’s really up to you.

Step 2: grind it up, pick out the stems and what not.

Step 3: put 2 tablespoons of butter into a small sauce pan and simmer it on low heat.

Step 4: once the butter is melted, dump the ground up weed into the pan. stir it around with a fork and keep it on low heat. it’s done whenever the butter turns brown. be sure not to over cook.

Step 5: pour the mixture into the coffee filter while holding it over the black plastic bowl that comes with the brownie kit.

**update: don’t use a coffee filter! It absorbs a lot of the butter huge waste, try straining using a fork to hold back the mushy weed while pouring it in

Step 6: add the brownie powder and stir. it will be very thick so you may need to add a bit of water.

Step 7: microwave for 45 seconds. check it out and if its still gooey do another 10 seconds. too long can cause the plastic bowl to melt through the bottom so watch out!

Step 8: eat it and wait for the magic to happen!

AWWWWW COME HERE SWEETHEART! LEMME HUG THE SAD RIGHT OUT YOU!!!!!

And if my hug isn’t doing anything for you, HAVE THIS LIST OF FLUFF!

“My daddy can beat up your daddy…why are our daddies kissing?” by bleep0bleep

809  I  Kid Fic, Humor

General Audiences

Derek and Stiles are both single parents, and their rival children attempt to make them fight.

Excuse Me While I Spell My Name by TheAlderKing

1,351  I  Stilinski Family Feels, Future Fic

“You’ve got white-out on your diploma. You actually defaced your diploma to keep people from seeing your name?”

“Mmm, couldn’t let the secret out after so many years of keeping it.”

How Stiles got his names.

Misunderstainding by hazelNuts

1,528  I  Misunderstandings

Teen and Up

anonymous asked, “‘i’m in my underpants in a laundromat waiting for my clothes to get washed and your clothes are in the machine next to mine and i noticed that when you put your clothes in they were all covered in blood what the fuck’ au”

Stiles’ evening had been going pretty well. And when a hot guy walks into the laundromat, he thinks it might become great. Until the guy takes off his coat and Stiles sees the state of his clothes.

Crazy Scary Beautiful by Elpie (Horribibble)

1,644  I  Artist Stiles, Misunderstandings

Teen and Up

The guy just came in with a duffle bag full of knives and plopped them down on the counter, easy as you please. He’s standing there with a perfectly cheerful look on his face, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet.

-

In which Stiles Stilinski is probably a serial killer, but Derek falls in love anyway.

Fight Me, Helen by thedevilyousay

1,654  I  Kid Fic, Domestic Fluff

Teen and Up

Important OTP question: Which one aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies?

The Proposal(s) by theroguesgambit

1,677  I  Misunderstandings, Wedding Proposal

Teen and Up

At the honeymoon resort, someone makes the mistake of asking for the proposal story. It’s meant innocently enough, the type of thing most couples are more than happy to gush about.

Stiles snorts into his glass and Derek’s eyes narrow. He makes a pointed noise that’s probably meant as warning, but Stiles just puts down the glass and leans across the table, smirking.

“Which one would you like? We’ve got two hundred and fourteen of them.”

Eyebrows and the Scientific Method by DiscontentedWinter

1,762  I  Derek’s Eyebrows 

Teen and Up

A series of vignettes (and helpful lists and terrible illustrations) about Derek’s eyebrows, and Stiles’s attempts to communicate with them.

Welcome to Rosie’s Diner can I interest you in an eye-opener? by crossroadswrite

1,999  I  Future Fic, Oblivious Idiots in Love

Teen and Up

When the unfairly attractive couple walks in, at their usual hour, Kat starts humming the wedding march.

Jason elbows her sharply in the ribs, trying to hide his snicker even as he waves nicely at them.

“Fuck they’re so pretty,” he sighs mournfully, “why did they have to be a couple, that’s just unfair.”

“I know,” she commiserates.

(Or: The one where Stiles and Derek are regulars at Rosie’s diner and exactly zero of the employees believe they’re not actually a couple, I mean come on look at them.)

We Could Be Happy by alphagottadonk

2,676  I  Scenting, Pack Dynamics

Not Rated

Prompt: Derek starts scenting Stiles who thinks its a pack thing until he sees Scott doing it to Kira.

Snuggle Puppy by medrengirl

2,715  I  Full Shift Werewolves

Teen and Up

Derek likes the soothing voices of NPR. He listens to a story about the 1920s, when “snuggle puppies” engaged in “petting parties.” The reporter on the radio says that these parties allowed teens and college students to engage in “erotic exploration” without devolving into orgies.

Stiles, on the other hand, thinks “snuggle puppy” is a stuffed animal line for pets with separation anxiety, or maybe the title of a kids’ book, and he thinks “petting party” is a great way to describe what happens when Derek comes over to hang out in his full wolf shift.

It takes a bit of time for them to get on the same page.

Scream Like You Mean It by queenravenr

2,839  I  AU-Human, AU-College

Not Rated

prompt- Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider. college au.

Baseball Pants by Thelionesskim

2,847  I  AU-Baseball

General Audiences

Scott shows Stiles a picture of the new pitcher for the Dodgers, and Stiles is suddenly an avid Dodgers fan.

Concerning Escaped Cats by Sams_Soliloquy

3,444  I  FBI Agent Derek, Star Trek Nerd Stiles

General Audiences

“It’s no surprise really that things hadn’t gone as planned when Stiles tried to shave his cat, Spock.”
A one shot AU involving, Trekkie Stiles, FBI Agent Derek Hale, and a half-shaved cat named Spock.

Chase your own by kellifer_fic

3,648  I  Derek has a Motherfucking Tail

General Audiences

Derek is cursed into having a feels!tail because Deaton and Scott live to mess with him. That’s what he assumes anyway.

Bee Yourself by Hatteress

3,780  I  Werebees, Established Relationship, Crack

Mature

Derek turns the full on Alpha glare on him. The one that says, in no uncertain terms, that the current situation is the furthermost thing from amusing on any planet in any galaxy ever. It’s sorta ruined by the antennae though. And the wings.

OR

The one where Stiles pisses off a bee goddess and Derek’s come tastes like honey.

Falling in Love at a Texas Roadhouse by PriPri

3,875  I  Kid Fic, Dad Derek, Server Stiles

General Audiences

Wherein Derek’s 6-year-old son pimps him out to their server Stiles.

Listen to the Beat by amazingpages

5,561  I  Masturbation, Neighbors

Mature

Of all the things Derek thought he’d have to deal with upon moving into his new apartment, a loudly masturbating neighbor wasn’t one of them.

Six Letter Word for Romance by TroubleIWant

6,322  I  Domestic Fluff (these two assholes are too fucking cute)

Mature

In which Stiles ships Derek/nice things almost as hard as I do

Or

Stiles definitely starts off thinking it’s fucking hilarious that Derek-sourwolf-Hale does crosswords and cares about scuffs on his furniture.

But at a certain point, and he can’t pinpoint exactly when, “fully functional adult couple” somehow becomes a massive fetish of his. Derek in sweats and bare feet, nudging his glasses up his nose while he does the Sunday crossword? Unff. Derek filling out forms to get some renovations on his property approved? Oh God, yes. Derek putting away groceries and bitching that the corner store was out of the right type of Greek yogurt? Take me now, Stiles thinks, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth.

This can’t be normal.

Here Comes Your Man by HaleHole (SweetFanfics)

6,821  I  3/3  I  AU-High School, Pining, Love Confessions

Teen and Up

“Batman? Really?” The familiar voice makes Derek pause, fingers pressing into the spine of his Physics book. He glances over to his left to look at the face that goes with the voice.

Stiles Stilinski is standing next to his locker and talking to him. Better check that actually.

Derek looks behind his open locker, making sure that there’s no one there or standing behind him before he turns back towards the jock. Who is more than amused at Derek’s antics. “I had you pegged for a Marvel fan.” The lacrosse star continues. “But that’s Dick’s run as Batman so maybe you’re just into Nightwing more than Batman.”

all human AU where Stiles and Derek go to BHHS and Kate who?

To Flush With Love and Hide in Flowers by demonicweirdo

7,067  I  AU-Greek Mythology, God Stiles

Teen and Up

“Uh, are you okay?” Derek asked him, his voice soft and calm and just what Stiles needed to hear this whole time.
Stiles groaned, rubbing his head. “No. There are limits to what gods can do. One of them is that using your powers for ten days straight drains you. Completely.” He was never talking to Lydia again. 

I’m Grumpy, He’s Derpy by Fanhag102

7,264  I  Cat Stiles, Cursed Stiles

Teen and Up

The cat jumps up onto the back of the couch and is carefully making it’s way towards Derek only to lose it’s footing halfway across and tumble with an undignified yowl back to the floor.

Oh god, Derek thinks. It’s one of those cats.

How Weetabix Got His Marshmallows Back by calrissian18

10,095  I  AU-Office, AU-Human

Explicit

“You know, in the movie version of this, I won’t have said ‘venereal disease’ and you would be reluctantly charmed.“

Putting the F-U-N in Funeral by apocryphal

10,811  I  AU-Human, Bakery, Snark

Teen and Up

"Hale & Daughters Funeral Home,” Derek says dully.

“Oh ho! And which daughter are you?

Derek casts his eyes up to the ceiling. It’s going to be one of those calls.

(In which Derek is a bored secretary, Stiles is a baker who may or may not have ulterior motives, and there are entirely too many macaroons.)

Snow Flirting by thepsychicclam

11,396  I  Kid Fic, Snowball Fight

Mature

As Beacon Hills get pounded with foot after foot of snow, single dad Stiles can’t quite keep up with his four year old, his job, and shoveling his driveway. Derek makes his teenage son shovel Stiles’ walk, and that just leads to Derek helping Stiles out with a whole bunch of other tasks. That’s okay with Derek, though, cause any chance to be with Stiles is okay with him.

Hot Mess by standinginanicedress

20,458  I  Human Derek, Car Sex

Explicit

“I really -” Stiles rips his hand free of Derek’s and clears his throat, taking stock of all the other things that were in his basket, how strewn all over the floor of the grocery store they are. “…I’m a normal, functioning human being, I swear I am.”

“Right,” Derek says, and his mouth starts quirking up even more. Like he’s amused, and like he absolutely positively does not believe for a second that Stiles is normal.

or the one where Stiles is a literal human disaster that ruins everything, and Derek finds it incredibly attractive.

And if you still need some cute as fuck motherfuckers in your life, I would totally suggest reading the webcomic Check Please and then turning into shipper trash (like me and Angsty) and reading THE FANFICTION FOR IT.

I hope you feel better!!!

Love and internet hugs,

Fluffy Wolf

crashcarts-deactivated20170305  asked:

Any fics where Derek and Stiles are an old married couple? Or have just been in an established relationship for a while?

Fight Me, Helen by thedevilyousay (1/1 | 1,652 | PG13)

Important OTP question: Which one aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies?

One Zucchini Please by mishaphappens (1/1 | 1,054 | PG13)

“You know,” Stiles said after a few minutes of painful grocery shopping. He was juggling two cantaloupes in his hands. “It isn’t as easy as you think.”

“Trusting me?”

Stiles looked like he wanted to throw the two melons at his head. “Falling in love.”

Remember Me by stilinskisparkles (1/1 | 3,801 | PG13)

When Stiles wakes up he sees a pair of eyebrows knitted together. He blinks and a blurry face comes into view. The face looks angry, no, furious.

When the Sky Fills With Rain by BarlowGirl (1/1 | 5,205 | NC17)

Derek raised an eyebrow. “You know I can shop for myself, right?”

“I know you can,” Stiles said. “But I don’t think you will. So we’re gonna go to Walmart and get you a couple packs of tank tops ’cause you look really hot in those and some more t-shirts and Henleys and basically whatever you need, and I’m going to stare at you and maybe drool a little while you try them on. And then we can go to wherever you usually buy jeans and I’m going to stare at your ass while you try those on.”

“Good to know,” Derek said dryly.

Stiles grinned. “Yup. And then you can wash them in my washing machine and leave them on my couch until they stop smelling like strangers and smell like us.”

Derek absolutely did not turn red.

Or: 5 Times Stiles Took Care of Derek and One Time Derek Took Care of Stiles.

Stiles on a plane by DorianWilde (1/1 | 1,034 | NR)

Stiles and Derek goes on vacation together. This means a thirteen hour flight and Derek won’t even let Stiles have the window seat.

naomimisoras  asked:

remus/sirius

  • Aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies: Sirius will fight with anybody about anything name a time and place face to face. 
  • Writes the other a rap for their anniversary gift: Sirius of course.  
  • Gets blocked by Joss Whedon on Twitter: Remus.  Remus wont stop tweeting about how bland Whedon is.  
  • Says “THIS WASN’T IN THE BOOKS” when they watch Game of Thrones: Both of them.  
  • Sends the other the entire Bee Movie script: Sirius Orion Black
  • Buys 600 bottles of Sun Drop because it costs $34 all up: Sirius Orion Black
  • Wakes the other up at 3am to complain about how the minions are sexless but also horrible: Neither of them know what minions are because they are #blessed and also not muggles
send a ship and i’ll tell you who:
  • Aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies 
  • Writes the other a rap for their anniversary gift
  • Gets blocked by Joss Whedon on Twitter
  • Says “THIS WASN’T IN THE BOOKS” when they watch Game of Thrones
  • Sends the other the entire Bee Movie script
  • Buys 600 bottles of Sun Drop because it costs $34 all up
  • Wakes the other up at 3am to complain about how the minions are sexless but also horrible

ass-dead-ic  asked:

*psst* Solangelo (For the ships thing)

yessSSSSSSSSS

Send me a ship and I’ll tell you who:

Aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies 

  • My initial reaction to this one was “oh, definitely Nico,” but I’m actually sort of feeling like Nico would start the argument and Will would flip the brownies. It would be a team effort.
  • This is because Will gets emotional when Nico gets emotional.

Writes the other a rap for their anniversary gift

  • Definitely Will. And it would be atrocious and embarrassing for everyone involved but Nico would still keep it forever. Secretly. Nobody can know.

Gets blocked by Joss Whedon on Twitter

  • Will, for tweeting him about five hundred different pictures of Quicksilver, all captioned with the word ‘WHY’

Says “THIS WASN’T IN THE BOOKS” when they watch Game of Thrones

  • Both, but mostly Nico. Will doesn’t care as much about sticking to the original material as long as it stays entertaining and plausible.

Sends the other the entire Bee Movie script

  • Will
  • Somebody please stop this boy

Buys 600 bottles of Sun Drop because it costs $34 all up

  • W i l l
  • Somebody please stop this boy

Wakes the other up at 3am to complain about how the minions are sexless but also horrible

  • Nico, because time is a human construct and the minions look like tic-tacs that fell into radioactive waste.
  • Also, Will does not function at 3 am. He needs a full 8 hours of sleep to even begin to complete basic cognitive processes.

anonymous asked:

(ship thing) ANIDALA

Aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies: Padme’s the one arguing and Anakin’s the one who flips the brownies (which tells Padme they probably should leave lmao)

Writes the other a rap for their anniversary gift: oh god it’s Anakin

Gets blocked by Joss Whedon on Twitter: Padme

Says “THIS WASN’T IN THE BOOKS” when they watch Game of Thrones: Padme

Sends the other the entire Bee Movie script: Anakin

Buys 600 bottles of Sun Drop because it costs $34 all up: Anakin

Wakes the other up at 3am to complain about how the minions are sexless but also horrible: I was about to say Anakin but tbh I could see that being Padme

some-asian  asked:

Korrasami :)

  • Aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies 
    • Korra does the arguing and Asami does the pan flipping
  • Writes the other a rap for their anniversary gift
    •  Korra and omfg it’s horrible but Asami finds it so endearing
  • Gets blocked by Joss Whedon on Twitter
    • Asami gets blocked twice because she made a second account after the first block
  • Says “THIS WASN’T IN THE BOOKS” when they watch Game of Thrones
    • Asami. Korra didn’t read the books
  • Sends the other the entire Bee Movie script
    • Korra does it every time she knows Asami is in a big meeting
  • Buys 600 bottles of Sun Drop because it costs $34 all up
    • Asami. I feel like she’s a lowkey bargain hunter despite the fact that she has money coming out of her ass
  • Wakes the other up at 3am to complain about how the minions are sexless but also horrible
    • Asami and Korra’s just like “babe stfu, they’re not real.”