Best Laid Plans

Properly late this time.

(Also posted on AO3)

“Alright!” Teddy said loudly clapping his hands.

Victoire rolled her eyes, “We’re all right ‘ere, Teddy. You don’t need to shout.”

“This is the very important first meeting of the-” Teddy hesitated and bought time by climbing up to stand on the empty teacher’s desk in the classroom they were meeting in, “The Cupid Club!”

Peter groaned.

“That is an 'orrible name,” Victoire frowned.

Daisy and Saanvi giggled, leaning into one another.

“Whatever,” Teddy said dismissively, “We can work out a better name later. The important thing is, we’re all here for one united purpose!” He paused to gesture dramatically and the other students stared at him, Daisy and Saavi giggled.

Teddy sighed, “You could show a little more enthusiasm, you know!”

“Should we clap?” Peter asked.

“Get on with it, Ted,” Victoire prompted with an exasperated smile.

Teddy said, “Fine. So, we’ve all seen my cousin and godfather, the illustrious Professor Potter and Professor Malfoy, flirting-”

“Insults really don’t seem like flirting to me,” Victoire said. To try and quell Teddy’s puppy dog expression she added, “They do look good together.”

Saanvi sighed, “Have you seen how Professor Potter smiles when Professor Malfoy talks with him?”

“He just lights up!” Daisy said with a giggle, “It’s the sweetest thing.”

“But what about Professor Malfoy?” Victoire said, “ 'E is always sneering and smirking at 'arry.”

“He stares at his arse.”

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Ok, so this is a imagine that I’ve had in my head for a while now. Enjoy, My Lovelies. xx

Tag list: @hamartiamacguffin @illisea @thegreatficmaster @lovemesomepie85 @torn-and-frayed

If you want me to add you to my tag list, shoot me through a message and let me know. 

Dean looked up as the Y/C/H hunter walked into the viewing room. Her hair fell loosely around her face, the soft Hollywood curls framing it perfectly. His eyes wandered over her body, the way her jeans hugged her arse perfectly, the black tank she wore that was slightly see through, the deep red bra underneath that showed off some of her best assets. Her silver cross hung down over the top of her breasts, the diamonds shining in the light. Her heels clicked on the polished concrete floor, he glanced down at the ankle boots, that was a new looked. The look was Y/N all over, but a sexed up Y/N. He frowned at the duffels in her hand.


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Better names for Tokyo Ghoul Things

Kagune: People skewers 

Ukaku: Pissed off bird people

Rinkaku: Portable Tentacle Porn 

Kokaku: shoulder “blades”

Bikaku: Ass tails

Kakuja: Cannibal cannibals

CCG: Commission of sad angry people (CSAP)

Quinque: Dead friend sticks

One-eyed Ghouls: Dead mom squad

What went down in Kung Food
  • Marinette: hey Alya so I need to talk to my Chinese uncle but I don't speak Chinese
  • Marinette: what should I do
  • Alya: does he speak any English
  • Marinette: what good would that do?
  • Marinette: I don't speak any English
  • Alya: then what are you speaking rn
  • Marinette: French, remember?
  • Alya: oh right I forgot
  • Marinette: yeah this is confusing
  • Alya: so does he speak any French
  • Marinette: idk I don't think imma bother to check
  • Alya: you're trying to get me to send Adrien as an interpreter
  • Marinette: pls Alya
  • Alya: fine he's on his way
  • Wang: this isn't at all awkward
  • Adrien: hey guys!
  • Wang: hey Adrien!
  • Adrien: so you actually speak English then
  • Wang: no this is French
  • Adrien: right
  • Wang: anyway imma be on this cooking competition
  • Adrien: kk cool do you want me to interpret for you
  • Wang: nah I'm sure nothing will go wrong
  • Chloé: *happens*
  • Wang: in retrospect...
  • Hawkmoth: fly my akuma
  • Kung Food: it's time for Chloé to get WRECKED
  • Chloé: wow real original there
  • Kung Food: I'll show you original!!!
  • Kung Food: prepare for a sticky situation as my protégés coat the building in IMPENETRABLE CARAMEL
  • Kung Food: get ready to cry when you witness my FLYING ONION CAMERAS
  • Kung Food: you'll be the one getting cut into slices as you face off against my TEN-FOOT PIZZA SWORD
  • Ladybug: should we jump in and stop him
  • Chat Noir: no not yet he's on a roll here
  • Kung Food: your salty attitude will be the perfect seasoning for my SWIMMING POOL OF BOILING SOUP
  • Kung Food: I always said that the fennel was mightier than the sword
  • Kung Food: pasta la vista, baby
  • Chat Noir: okay, looks like he's out of ideas
  • Ladybug: yeah he defs stole that last one from somewhere
  • Chat Noir: well it's time to take him down
  • Kung Food: *retreats to the roof*
  • Chloé: oh good
  • Kung Food: *suspends Chloé over a swimming pool of boiling soup*
  • Chloé: oh no
  • Jagged Stone: so anyways y'all gotta fight me first
  • Ladybug: what's that weapon you've got?
  • Jagged Stone: you'll be like fish in a barrel as I come at you with my SEAFOOD STAFF
  • Chat Noir:
  • Ladybug: *locks Jagged Stone in the closet like a badass*
  • André: and now you gotta fight me!
  • Ladybug: and what's your deal
  • André: something something sausage fest
  • Ladybug: yeah nope
  • Ladybug: *drops a chandelier on him*
  • Marlena and Alec: and now there's TWO OF US
  • Marlena: prepare to face an onslaught of flavor from my THOUSAND FLYING CAKES
  • Ladybug: okay but
  • Ladybug: let's get real here
  • Ladybug: "thousand flying cakes" is the coolest attack name EVER
  • Ladybug: like, respect
  • Alec: and I can't think of a pun, but here are some BLINDING STINKY CHEESE BOMBS
  • Chat Noir: my inner Plagg is v conflicted
  • Chat Noir: also I just realized my inner Plagg is v literal rn
  • Chat Noir: whoa that's really weird to think about
  • Alec: *wrecks him*
  • Ladybug: *wrecks both Alec and Marlena*
  • Ladybug: and now for the boss fight
  • Chat Noir: don't you mean the chef fight
  • Ladybug: don't try and say one-liners, you're bad at it
  • Chat Noir: I call them pun-liners
  • Kung Food: HEY GUYS
  • Kung Food: *drops Chloé toward soup*
  • Ladybug: whoa Chloé's about to die
  • Ladybug: like wow the stakes have never been higher
  • Ladybug: I can't imagine what life would be like with her gone
  • Kung Food: do you want me to pull her back out so you've got enough time to rescue her
  • Ladybug: nah I got this
  • Ladybug: *rescues Chloé like a badass*
  • Chloé: *is herself*
  • Ladybug: *drops Chloé off roof*
  • Chat Noir: did you just
  • Ladybug: she'll be fine
  • Chat Noir: how do you know
  • Ladybug: the screenwriters need somebody to get people akumatized
  • Chat Noir: oh right
  • Kung Food: *attacks*
  • Ladybug and Chat Noir: *fight back*
  • Ladybug: hey Kung Food hang on a minute
  • Chloé: hey guys so I climbed back up
  • Ladybug: *chucks Chloé off the roof again*
  • Kung Food: that was a worthy diversion
  • Ladybug: lucky charm!
  • Payment terminal: *happens*
  • Ladybug: "payment terminal"? really?
  • Chat Noir: do you have a better name for those things
  • Chat Noir: that's even what it's called on the wiki
  • Ladybug: idk but I've got a good one-liner for it
  • Ladybug: hey Kung Food, we've finished our meal and it's time to pay the bill!
  • Chat Noir: needs work
  • Ladybug: *wrecks Kung Food*
  • Ladybug: you were saying
  • Chat Noir: FINISH HIM
  • Ladybug: bye bye little butterfly
  • Wang: anyway here's the soup I made
  • Alec & co: ok you've won the competition
  • Alec & co: like there are defs no more contestants
  • Wang: btw I renamed the soup
  • Wang: it's now called Marinette Soup
  • Alec & co: might I ask why
  • Wang: bc Marinette fell in the swimming pool of soup
  • Wang: she's responsible for the flavor
  • Marinette: um no I'm right here
  • Wang: oh wow this is awkward
  • Wang: so who was that who fell in the soup
  • Marinette: idk
Happy Asks :^)
  • 1. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
  • 2. Who is your favorite person in the world?
  • 3. Whats your favorite part of your body?
  • 4. When you are feeling down, what always cheers you up no matter what?
  • 5. Describe one of the best days of your life.
  • 6. What youtube video or vine always makes you laugh without fail? Link it!
  • 7. What was some of the best advice you've ever been given?
  • 8. What is the superior breakfast food of choice and why?
  • 9. What's one of your fondest childhood memories?
  • 10. Describe your dream home.
  • 11. Everybody is good at something. What are you good at?
  • 12. Do you have any little party tricks that most people don't know about?
  • 13. What was an instance that completely turned your bad day/week around for the better?
  • 14. Name the first ten things that make you happy right now. Don't even think too hard about it just write whatever comes to mind first.
  • 15. What's the best pun you've ever heard?
  • 16. What song always makes you happy no matter what?
  • 17. What is an inside joke that no one else would understand?
  • 18. Tell us about a moment where you felt absolutely free and alive.
  • 19. What's your favorite fruit?
  • 20. What is one of your favorite art pieces of all time?
  • 21. What is your favorite family tradition? Or a tradition with any group of people you are involved with if you don't have any family traditions.
  • 22. Have you ever purchased something expensive that you didn't really need, but it's made you so happy that it was worth it? What is it?
  • 23. What's your favorite place on your body to be massaged?
  • 24. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
  • 25. Who is a person that has changed your life for the better?
  • 26. Has anyone ever given you a compliment that was so meaningful to you and you will never forget? What was it?
  • 27. What are you proud of in your life?
  • 28. Post a selfie of yourself that you think is hot fire and needs to be appreciated (because you are so damn good looking)
  • 29. What's your favorite video game ever?
  • 30. What are you a fuckin nerd about that you could talk about for forever? Feel free to do a lil rant here about how much you love said thing and why it's awesome
  • 31. You are in a powerful position, in charge and giving orders to people who all respect you for how good you are at your job. What would this job be?
  • 32. You fall off a boat and wash up ashore on an island. Seems shitty but then you realize this place is a paradise with servants at your beck and call, a mansion, and every entertainment you can wish for. Also there are no bugs. You get to choose 3 other people to invite and have the time of your lives. Who are they? (These can be any currently living person in the world)
  • 33. You get 1 million dollars. You are not allowed to save it or invest it, but instead are only allowed to use it to treat yourself. How do you spend it?
  • 34. What are you looking forward to currently??
  • 35. Describe your dream wedding (or if you aren't into that describe a dream vacation. Or do both who cares!)
  • 36. What's your favorite kind of animal to chill with?
  • 37. What have you done that felt very fulfilling at the end?
  • 38. what's your favorite movie that leaves you with a great feeling at the end?
  • 39. What was the most relaxed you've ever felt?
  • 40. And finally, describe any one thing that makes you super happy. It can be a memory, an upcoming event, a person, a piece of art, a piece of clothing....whatever. as long as it makes you happy, then tell us about it!


Иллюстрация к одной из моих любимых книг. Можно посмотреть этот эпизод на видео: (russian)

It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a sperm whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet. And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought, as it fell: 

The Whale: “Ahhh! Woooh! What’s happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my… well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a… tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what’s this roaring sound, whooshing past what I’m suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I’m dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There’s an awful lot of that now isn’t it? And what’s this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like ‘Ow’, ‘Ownge’, ‘Round’, ‘Ground’! That’s it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it’ll be friends with me? Hello, Ground!”

[Cuts to a distant view as the whale hits the ground and spews up a large mushroom cloud of snow]

Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, “Oh no, not again!” Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly *why* the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.

Visiting Past

Part 1

By: dinrovachaos

Author Notes: I had a plan to pre-write this whole thing but I finished part 1 today so I’m just going to post it anyway. I’m going to try for one a week but I have motivation/procrastination issues so don’t be too concerned if I miss a week. Hope y’all like something a little longer.

Warnings: Death and drugs mention. That’s it. This one is kinda tame.

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Kent didn’t remember it, but clearly his mother did and she photographic evidence.

“Aw, you are looking so–” Kent didn’t understand the last Russian word that Tater had slipped in there.

“I don’t even want to know if that’s a good thing,” Kent muttered from the couch.

Tater looked up from the picture album he was currently thumbing through with an impish smile. Kent stuck out his tongue, just as his mother came back from the kitchen with a plate of Christmas cookies.

She glanced over at the picture Tater was smirking at and sighed fondly. “Oh yes, that one. Kenny always did have a fondness for cats.”

“He is bigger Kit,” Tater agreed.

His mom put the plate down on the coffee table. “I remember that year for Halloween, we barely had enough money to cover rent. I couldn’t afford to buy him a costume and I have no sewing skills to speak of. Kenny, I think you were three or four at the time?” She pulled the photo out of the plastic sleeve and held it up for him. He squinted dimly at it and shrugged.

“Maybe.” He made a mental note to contact Tater’s parents for embarrassing childhood photos as payback.

“So, the neighbors had this cat that Kent loved to play with, and come Halloween, Kent wanted to be a cat. He was very insistent on being “Kitty”. That was what he called the cat, by the way.”

“Only because they named him something stupid and unpronounceable,” Kent threw out.

His mother gave him an amused look. “His name was Caesar, dear.”

“‘Kitty’ was a better name.”

“Anyways, the best thing I cat costume I could come up on a limited budget was dress him in black  and then draw on the nose and the whiskers with my makeup. I bought the ears for fifty cents at a thrift store.”

“He not have tail?” Tater asked?

“Oh, he had a tail. I cut an old shirt of mine and stuffed it with leftover cotton from a pillow.” She laughed, but it was tinged with sadness.

Kent remembered those years when his mother had to work two jobs trying to make ends meet. His hockey was expensive, and he had lost count of the number of times he had told his mother he would quit, only to have her shake her head and tell him that they would make it work… somehow.

He got up from the plush, oversized chair and went to go settle on the arm rest by his mother. “Thank you,” he said sincerely as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

“You were so happy,” she sniffed. “You didn’t even care that the tail was literally stapled shut at the seams.”

“I’m happy I have you.” Kent said softly. “Both of you,” he added with a glance towards Tater who met his warm gaze. Kit, who must have sensed that she was being left out, abandoned her watch from under the tree and came over to jump on Tater’s lap. “All of you,” Kent amended when she joined them.

And he was.


Look, someone mentioned the other day that Kent Parson probably has a picture of himself with the cat face drawn on (or something like that), but I can’t find the post. Please help me so I can give proper credit to the idea. :)

Rules: Answer these questions, and tag 20 amazing followers that you would like to get to know better.

Tagged by: @bismuthpride

Name: thing is, my real name is alessi. most of my friends like to call me axl. but i would prefer you use my nicknames on here, as i really don’t want my mom catching y’all chatting with me referring to me as alessi or axl. thanks.

Nickname: please call me dyna (kin name!) or mimi when talking to me! i’m also fine with whatever other name you’ve come up for me!! ^^

Zodiac sign: virgo (i’m introverted, quiet, and i do like me some art,, but i’m really not!! neat!! at all!!!)

Hogwarts house: ravenclaw!

Height: like 5″1 or something, cries

Orientation: i’m bi. thought i was lesbian for most of my life, but recently i did fall in love with a boy! 

Ethnicity: mostly hispanic (originating from mexico), part french and canadian. i’m not white, but more of a light tanned color. 

Favorite fruit: oranges and strawberries are delicious!! 

Favorite season: i love early autumn, because there’s just a light chill in the air and i get to see my friends again after a long, boring summer!! 

Favorite book series: hmm, i really enjoyed ‘down to the bone’. it’s about a cuban lesbian disowned by her family who takes this time to explore her own identity, and the town where she lives! it has a really cute ending, and i love it.

Favorite fictional characters: plague knight (shovel knight), junkrat (overwatch), proto man (mega man), dynatron (mighty no 9, she’s my kin! maybe!), chara (undertale).

Favorite flower: carnations and roses!

Favorite scents: vanilla, fresh cookies, cherry candies.

Favorite color: i like pastel pink and black!

Favorite animal: DEFINITELY crows. i have a lil crow that comes to visit me every morning for food! 

Favorite artist/band: (no order) manami matsumae, mili, in love with a ghost, kikuo-p, halsey, vocaloid, jayn, GHOST (i used to like melanie martinez’s songs but,, she’s not a good person at all)

Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa?: HOOOOT COOOCOOOAAA

Average sleep hours: like 5 (my mom tries to get me to sleep early, but i just lie on my bed and think. about life. all night.)

Number of blankets you sleep with: one on summer, two on spring and autumn, and 5000000 in winter lmao

Dream trip: japan, italy or mexico!

Last thing Googled: rainbow knives!

Blog created: this blog was made about a month ago, but i’ve been on tumblr for a very long time.

How many blogs do I follow: 816, but that number’ll probably go BOOM in a couple seconds. i follow like 5 new blogs every second tbh,,

Number of followers: 97! 

What do I usually post about: mostly pink aesthetics and kinkshaming, but i also like memes and shovel knight!

Do you get asks regularly: well, not regularly, but i’ve been getting a lot more on this blog than any other blog i’ve had in the past. 

What is your aesthetic: anything pink, cute lacy fashions, food, and liquids (especially slime)!

I tag @the-great-papyroo @stillaghost @mikedirntfucker420 @vampiricmasterpiece @anti-pedos @dreamersdilemma @abracababra @esc–ctrl @emilypyrope @terezi-hates-ddlg @madz-the-3rd @krriik @queersandaesthetic @7thlifeofaaron @smol-galaxy-turtle @sutazu @stargutz @violetgreaser @cloobydoo @shetasteslikeseasaltrainbows

20 question tag~

20 question tag~
haven’t done one of these in a while so thought it would be interesting, tagged by @rwby-fan

Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better.

Name: Kira

Nickname: ma'am, thing 2, shortie, saucy

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Height: 5'8"

Favorite Fruit: Banana

Favorite Season: Autumn

Favorite Book: The Leviathan Trilogy

Favorite Flower: Irises

Favorite Scent: Rain

Favorite Color: Colbalt

Favorite Animal: Crocodile

Favorite Beverage: Gatorade

Average Hours of Sleep: 4-5 hours

Favorite Fictional Character: there are too many to pick

Number of blankets you sleep with: One

Dream Trip: Ireland

Blog Created: I think it was some time in 2014.

Number of Followers: 1,259. It’s been the same amount for two years now.

I’ll tag (I can’t really tag people on phone so i’ll just list them) newghost, ammietty, tenken and others

these gray clouds can’t hide my sunny disposition (jungkook x reader)

Jungkook + waiting in line

Word Count: 3,959
A/N: i started this fic back in march lmao rip but thanks to katie @jespere-hope for all the suggestions and cheerleading me into finishing this 

The line to the Apple Store spanned nearly four blocks, from the bakery outside your apartment all the way down to the construction zone. You hurried along the pavement, hoping to catch a spot at the tail end. The stares of people waiting in the line made it evident that boredom was already seeping in to the masses of Apple fanatics. You flitted quickly through throngs of people loitering casually against concrete buildings, and not even the enticing fumes of freshly baked bread from the local bakery could stop you from your mission.

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Mooore bracelet girls magical girl AU sketches

Their general transformation appearances are like so…

Their eye colors change to the color of their bracelet color (which in Serena’s and Rin’s case isn’t that interesting haha…), and their bracelet jewel itself appears on their head somewhere.

Yuzu’s draws power from music and flowers, of course, and Serena draws power from the moon (while obtaining a cat-like appearance in her transformation). More details on their weapons yet to come though…

I’ve still yet to figure out Rin and Ruri’s exact outfit and powers (because their cards haven’t been revealed yet) but I wanted to show at least their appearance from the neck-up. Ruri’s hairpiece would be the double-winged design that’s seen on her bracelet, but that’s a little hard to tell here… And Rin’s was hard to figure out because I don’t have a very good reference for her bracelet Q 7 Q In general though, it will be like a tiara, since she has nothing in her hair in canon to replace it with haha

Another thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet. And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had come to terms with not being a whale anymore.

This is a complete record of its thought from the moment it began its life till the moment it ended it.

Ah …! What’s happening? It thought.

Er, excuse me, who am I?


Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life?

What do I mean by who am I?

Calm down, get a grip now … oh! This is an interesting sensation, what is it? It’s a sort of … yawning, tingling sensation in my … my … well I suppose I’d better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let’s call it my stomach.

Good. Ooooh, it’s getting quite strong. And hey, what about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call  my head? Perhaps I can call that … wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do … perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What’s this thing? This … let’s call it tail – yeah, tail. Hey! I can really trash it about pretty good can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. Now – have I built up any coherent picture of things yet? No. Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I’m quite dizzy with anticipation …

Or is it the wind?

There really is a lot of that now isn’t there?

And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!

I wonder if it will be friends with me?

And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.


Douglas Adams  -  “The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”

Improv As Practical Advice

When you ask people to think of reasons why someone took an improv class for the first time you get answers like “I wanted to do something fun” or “I’m a huge comedy fan” or “I wanted to be able to think on my feet more for my job.”

(Side note: people often say “wanted to get better at public speaking” but only when they’re guessing why OTHER people might be taking improv classes.) 

Improv classes aren’t as silly as you expect. Yes, they’re fun but they’re more like acting classes.  Many big comedy fans don’t know what long-form improv is, and they take a class because they’ve memorized the casts of SNL and see that many of them “did improv.”  They don’t know what they’re in for.

I don’t really think it improves thinking on your feet. And no one speaks publicly ever, now that we have the internet.

So what practical skills DOES improv give you? These ones.

1) Listening. Deeper, fuller, more actively. Time will slow down during conversations and you will be able to hear them more accurately. This absolutely will happen to everyone who takes improv classes for any decent length of time.

2) Brevity. Improv rewards succinct, direct talk. You’ll learn to do it because the audience laughs and listens to you more when you get to the point.

3) Empathy. You will more easily be able to see things from other people’s points of view. You will be able to argue the other side of an argument better.

4) Acting. Improv is acting and writing but it’s more acting. You become more reactive and emotive just through the sheer reps of playing make-believe in front of others.

5) Clearer opinions. You have opinions all the time but very often you don’t pay attention to them as they’re forming. Not the big ones, but the little ones. You see someone on the street eating an ice cream and lots of tiny versions of superiority, jealousy, gluttony will flit through your brain, and then vanish. Improv makes you notice and then hold onto those opinions because in a scene you might need them.

6) Saying yes. You will at least consider saying yes to things and see the value in that option more often than you did before. 

7) Patterns. Patterns are funny, and you will learn to see them early and often.

8) Silliness. You will get sillier. You’ll walk funnier. You’ll use dumb voices more. You’ll make up better fake names for things.

9) Knowledge. You’ll learn more since you’ll run across so many scenes where someone mentions something you don’t know. You’ll find out what they were saying and remember it.

10) Losing. You’ll learn the joy of losing arguments and fights.

11) Bravery. You will be more comfortable to have people see you and watch you.

12) Being Present. You’ll worry less about the future, less about story, and more about what the moment feels like and what that implies.

Those are some skills you learn. AND NOTHING ELSE.

*at ace tumblr headquarters*

ceo: okay gang we need new ideas. people are getting tired of us blaming lgbt people for the same couple things that they don’t do, or do for a perfectly good reason. unless you want to be coined as an allo, you better name off some things for us to claim non-aces do

person one: we could say that cishet is a slur!

person two: or better yet! invent a new slur for only us to use! there’ll be no weight to it because no one will ever really use it to dehumanize us, but at least we’ll be more legit with a slur on our side! 

ceo: brilliant! any ideas for this new slur?

person two: i was thinking we call ourselves… robots!! 

ceo: keep coming up with ideas like that, and you’ll be able to use queer willy-nilly in no time!!

person two: *gives the camera a shit eating smile* oh i do that already

*cue sitcom laugh track*