better-mistakes

10

“A great man is largely forgotten by the public. He doesn’t stand on top of a mountain waving a flag saying, “Look at me—I’m a great man.” A great man often disappears into the ether. Hardly anyone notices that he was even there, apart from his family and close friends. He was reliable. He showed up. He was there. He was useful where he could be. He made mistakes. Tried to make better of those mistakes. Doesn’t mean you have to cure cancer or understand the theory of relativity. It’s not necessarily as rock-and-roll or as cool as you might think. Part of being a great man is accepting that. To dare to be average and normal is actually a pathway to becoming a great man. To have more humility. To accept responsibility more. To just get on with what’s in front of your face. And to leave no fucking indelible mark of your ever being here, apart from the fact that you were there for your family to the best of your ability. It’s not an easy task. I’ll probably fuck it up.”

Happy 40th Birthday, Tommy Hardy!  September 15th, 1977 

DC Masterlist

Batfamily in general :

The Great Mall adventure

“It’s gone…all gone…” (batsis)

Fun Fair with the family

“Mother, it’s your day”

“Mother has been poisoned”

The Batmom Glare

Burrito Blanket Batmom

The Last Pit (part ½)

The Last Pit (part 2/2)

Master of Diaper

Batfam NSFW headcanons

Oh shit, it’s father’s day ! 

How terrible it is to love something that death can touch

“Vacations are rare for the Waynes”

“Let me get one thing straight…I’m not !”

Don’t leave us… (Batsis)

“Did this miscreant hurt you mother ?”

Each tattoo is a story

“Bruce, my heart, I think Alfred likes my mom !”

How to remove a Wayne safely

#MyParentsAreLosers

The day they almost lost you (Batsis)

Short bonus convos : Batboys want a sibling

________________________________________

Bruce Wayne/Batman :

Making Bruce Wayne blush

Beach Bod’

Catching the Bat’s heart (slightly NSFW)

“Admit it, Bruce” (totally NSFW)

“Your wife is hot”

“Your wife is hot” part 2

Early Mornings with the Bat

Baby Wayne

“You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar” (part 1/3)

“You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar” (part 2/3)

“You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar” (part 3/3)

And when I’m gone… (warning, SAD)

I’m not drunk, you are

“It’s her, but it’s not her !” (part ½)

“It’s them, but it’s not them !” (part 2/2)

Scars, loving names and a bath

“That’s not how you negociate !”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous”

“My parents are gross…ly in love" (slightly NSFW)

Tickles and loss

Sneaky Bastard (NSFW)

Shaky steps and bad teaching

A chance to say goodbye

Ma Broosh !

“She should cut her nails” (part ½ of the League teasing the “batlovers”)

“Bruce…sucks !” (part 2/2 of the League teasing the “batlovers”).

“BATMAN IS NEVER JEALOUS”

“I’m lost without you…”

Silly Bat’

Fate is a bitch part 1/?

Fate is a bitch part 2/?

“Hopefully, no one will notice”

“I don’t like cats”

Odd socks

The Talk

Wedding and pop-corns

Relationship headcanons part 1/?

“You could have anyone you want !”

Behave

“I don’t wanna get married”

Alive (NSFW)

Anonymous Hate

I’ll always be here for you

“You slept with Superman ?”

The wrath of a short woman

“You’re…you’re Bruce’s father !”

The List (NSFW)

“Where did the coffee table go ?”

There is nothing left of him

“I’m done with you, Mr. Wayne”

Random convo between Batmom and Broosh

Behind closed door (NSFW)

Three parts of a whole (Batman x Reader x Superman) (NSFW)

________________________________________

Richard “Dick” Grayson/Nightwing :

“She’s too good for you”

Surprise Surprise

________________________________________

Jason Todd/Red Hood

Cutie and the Beast (slightly NSFW)

Caught red-hooded (slightly NSFW too)

“Draw me like one of your French…boy ?”

I bacha(ta) can dance better than you ! (hispanic reader)

Costume Party

“Car sex looks so much easier in the movies” (NSFW)

________________________________________

Timothy “Tim” Drake/Red Robin :

Naked Birds

You taste like coffee

Pierced (Tim x Batmom)

________________________________________

Damian Wayne/Robin :

The First time is serious business (slightly NSFW)

Titus likes you…too much

“Just play the damn game with me !” (Batmom x Damian)

True blood son..and daughter (Batsis x Damian)

Period drama with mama (Batmom)

My mom is better than yours (Batmom)

Mistakes and Forgiveness

“Are we not gonna talk about the elephant in the room ?” (Batmom)

“Talk to my son like that again, and I will end you” (Batmom)

________________________________________

Clark Kent/ Superman :

Eighth time’s a charm

Happy (belated) Fourth of July

Hatred an Grief

Three parts of a whole (Batman x Reader x Superman) (NSFW)

________________________________________

Kon-El “Conner” Kent/Superboy :

“You’re kind of an asshole”

“They’re kind of assholes”

“The World is kind of an asshole”

________________________________________

Diana Prince/Wonder Woman :

Drunk Amazon

Dating Diana Prince would include…

Take care of my babies or you’ll die

“…Where is our child ?”

________________________________________

Arthur Curry/Aquaman :

I don’t talk to fish

Talking to the Moon: How to Get Somebody to Change Their Mind

We’ve all got one in our lives: that person we love dearly but for some reason, they just don’t seem to hear us when we talk. If you follow astrology, you probably know that Mercury is the planet of communication, but even more so than that it shows how we process information and how our thought process works. Now, perhaps you and the person that comes to mind have compatible Mercury signs, perhaps you do not, or maybe you don’t even know what the person’s Mercury sign is. The point is that when you want to get a message across to somebody, particularly one of an emotional nature i.e. “this really hurts me when you do that”, “I need this to feel happy”, “you’re not hearing my perspective”, or anything similar to those statements you don’t want to talk to the person’s Mercury.

Mercury is our analytical brain and even when it is in a water sign where it tends to be more emotional, it still is an objective, logical process. If you REALLY want to get a message across to somebody when they just don’t seem to “get it”, you talk to their MOON. Now, I typically don’t advise using astrology (or any other metaphysical practice, for that matter) to pretend to be something we’re not, but in cases of communication, sometimes we absolutely MUST get a message across to somebody and the ONLY way to do that is to phrase it in a way that they can understand. Here is a guide on communication styles that are compatible with each Moon sign. I recommend trying more than one, as other factors in the chart, such as aspects to the Moon, can change the results of using each style.

Fire Moons: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Now, I don’t want the fire Moon people out there feeling like I’m bashing them, because we need fire Moons to inspire us and provide us with a sense of directions. It is imperative, however, that when you want a fire Moon to understand something, you have to make it about them. The fire element responds really well to arguments and ideas formatted in a way that it reminds them of how they do something, how they feel, or how they are affected. They tend to be able to empathize best if you can give them a scenario in which they would feel the same way. Using a fire-based way of talking generally requires a bit of rallying where you present your argument in a way that gives them something to do.

Specifically for:

Aries: Give them an action correlated with your argument. If you want them to do something, tell them EXACTLY what it is you want them to do and why they should do it. Don’t expect them to know any of it, lay it out for them. They instinctively crave direction and do well with open doors. Aries Moons are notoriously hard to get to change directions once they’ve picked something and patience can go a long way since they tend to change paths from time to time. Often times, they’ll spontaneously start following your idea as if was theirs if you give them enough time.

Leo: Appeal to their sense of dignity. Leo wants to feel special, and if you explain how seeing the way you do or acting the way you want them to makes them more magnanimous, they will likely oblige you. They instinctively do not want to be like everyone else or average. Challenging a Leo Moon by saying you know better is the biggest mistake you can make, so if you can lead them to making the decision themselves you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble.

Sagittarius: Ask them why they think things should be done a certain way and challenge them to expand their horizons. Sagittarius moons are likely to feel like they’ve figured life out, but they’re always intrigued by the possibility that they haven’t and if you offer them an expanded view they will likely hear you out. You cannot, however, treat this expansion like it your doing. Sagittarius Moon must connect the dots for itself to feel like it can truly follow the path you’ve presented. Using an analogy so they can make the jump themselves is often very helpful.

Earth Moons: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Now, I don’t want the earth Moon people out there feeling like I’m bashing them, because we need earth Moons to ground us and keep the world running. It is imperative, however, that when you want an earth Moon to understand something, you have to make it about what’s best. The earth element responds really well to arguments and ideas formatted in a way shows them, in practical terms, how something is more reasonable or realistic. They tend to be able to empathize best if you can tell them why, with real-world examples and a plan, why your idea is worth hearing. Using an earth-based way of talking generally requires a bit planning and thinking through the steps of what you’re suggesting so that the earth Moon can take you seriously.

Specifically for:

Taurus: appeal to their sense of materialism and be consistently patient. Taurus Moons are notoriously stubborn when they find something that works for them, and getting them to change their mind is not an easy task. Taurus moons, when they care about you or anything else, want you or it to feel valued and if you explain to them that doing what they’re doing will yield no harvest, they will slowly but surely change. The harvest does not have to be literal food, but if you explain to them that they won’t fill up your “love tank” or get what it is they want by staying stubborn they are capable of immense change.

Virgo: appeal to their sense of order. Virgo Moons like things to be neat and tidy so they may instinctively reject information that has to do with anything other than worldly affairs. If you want a Virgo moon to change its mind, be prepared to give them a list, in order, of your arguments. They respond well to formatted, organized arguments (even about things like emotions and zest for life) so providing them with cause and effect arguments works well.

Capricorn: appeal to their sense of discipline. Capricorn moons are often the tough-love type and are naturally ambitious. Getting these ambition-focused people to hear your point often requires that you explain the benefit of what you’re proposing to the overall bottom line. While not all Capricorn Moons go into business, they often act as if they had, so if you haven’t thought ahead about the consequences of what you’re proposing they don’t want to hear it.

Air Moons: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Now, I don’t want the earth Moon people out there feeling like I’m bashing them, because we need air Moons to keep ideas in circulation. It is imperative, however, that when you want an air Moon to understand something, you have to be very careful how you phrase it. The air element, since it tends to understand emotions by observing them rather than feeling them, responds really well to arguments and ideas formatted in a way shows them what something looks like and why it looks that way. They tend to be able to empathize best if you can tell very concisely and using step-by-step logical descriptions of how an idea takes place. Using an air-based way of talking generally requires a lot of clarifying, so if you want to get your point across to an air Moon, be prepared to make your point multiple times in multiple ways until they can understand it on an intellectual level.

Particularly for:

Gemini: appeal to their sense of curiosity. Gemini Moons are constantly updating their vocabulary, so don’t assume that just because you know what you meant that they do. They need you do not only tell them, using words, how you feel but they also require that you use comparisons. Gemini thrives on information, and while they’re likely to point out differences in any analogy that you use, with enough of them they will likely isolate what it is you are trying to get across to them. Be patient, as Gemini Moons can be infuriatingly full of questions, but it’s just because they want to really truly hear exactly what it is you mean.

Libra: appeal to their sense of balance. Now, of course, many people think that Libra is an empathetic sign, and while it is incredible at observing and figuring out how to blend in, its understanding of other people is still air-based rather than water based. Libra is incredibly sweet and of all the Moon placements is the most likely to want to hear you out if you tell them that they’re not hearing what you’re saying, but they may feign understanding to avoid conflict. To avoid this defense mechanism, ask them how they feel about something and to explain it and they’ll return the favor by listening to you.

Aquarius: appeal to their sense of humanity. Aquarius Moons are objective, but they’re objective in the sense that they think everybody should be included, so they don’t want you to feel left out. If your argument explains what you need to feel included or that your argument has a place in the grand scheme of things, Aquarius Moon is much more likely to hear you out. They may not implement your idea in exactly the way you want them to because of this placement’s natural inventiveness, so you may have to give them a few tries to get it right through trial and error. But, make no mistake, they will continue working until you or your idea has a place.

Water Moons: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Now, I don’t want the water Moon people out there feeling like I’m bashing them, because we need earth Moons give our lives meaning and feeling. It is imperative, however, that when you want a water Moon to understand something, you have to make it about how something feels. The water element responds really well to arguments and ideas formatted in a way shows them why something affects somebody on an emotional level. They tend to be able to empathize best if you can tell why something means as much to you as it does. Using a water-based way of talking generally requires a bit of acting and showing some emotion about a topic so they know you’re serious about what you’re saying.

Particularly for:

Cancer: appeal to their sense of nurturing. Cancer moons are natural mommy-types and want to take care of how you feel. They’re generally care less about what you’re saying but more how you’re saying it. Showing tears of frustration will almost inevitably get Cancer Moon people to at least slow down enough to hear you out and they’ll want to do what they can to help you feel better. They may not be able to understand super logical arguments, but if you can express to them importance they can understand that.

Scorpio: appeal to their sense of healing. Scorpio Moons get a reputation for breaking people down, but their intent isn’t to obliterate somebody; it’s to give them space to rebuild. Because of this, Scorpio Moons may test ideas that come their way in ways meant to elicit a frustrated response from the messenger. Changing the mind of a Scorpio Moon is a long-term goal, as if requires that you show endurance and belief in what you propose to them. Once they see that you’re committed and there is nothing left to break down they can change their mind.

Pisces: appeal to their sense of empathy. Pisces Moons can be frustratingly difficult to get an opinion out of, but as a result their also very non-combative. Pisces Moon will generally give in simply by you asking. The trick is you have to consistently remind them because other people can change their minds too. Pisces Moons really don’t want to upset anyone, so showing them that them not changing their mind or behavior is upsetting to you will almost always elicit a response.

As with anything in astrology, always remember to take the whole chart into account, these descriptions do not account for aspects to the moon or the house the moon is in. Be sure to subscribe to my page for more astrology content and if you have anything you’d like to ask me about, send me a message.

-Ralph

Comey believed that the entire country needed to know that a presidential candidate might be connected to information on a laptop that she didn’t own, but the vice president did not need to be told privately that a key presidential adviser was definitely lying about his relationship with a foreign government. The inconsistency leaves one speechless.
 
 

To be clear, Comey’s disgraceful intervention was not the sole cause of Clinton’s loss. But every way of looking at the numbers show that it was the most decisive factor. Without Comey intervening, the Oval Office would be likely be occupied by a different person right now. And with every new revelation, the interference appears less and less justified. The sooner he faces the consequences for his colossal mistake the better.

Asian fetishization is so normalized among kpop stans. There are so many ppl (especially minors who need learn better) that say they love “asian men uwu” and we learn to just ignore them and move on. There are tons of ppl out there that do this and its gross and seems impossible to educate them all. Plus there are a lot of ppl that will be stubborn and say we’re just being sensitive/ its a compliment/ asian men are nicer and a whole lot of other bullshit 😪 it’s tiring.

In hs, I had a classmate that said she had a “preference” for asian and white men. There are so many things wrong with that. We all know when ppl say this they mean east (maybe se) asians and it’s blatantly racist to non-east asian poc. And the thought process that asian men aren’t capable of abuse bc the idols/actors you stan are nice guys is disgusting. Also, asian ppl aren’t an aesthetic. Every asian guy isn’t gonna dress nice and making asian men into a dreamy fantasy is gross (not to mention it disregards poor asians, trans asians or anyone that doesnt fit your Ideal Asian.)

I could go on but i’ve said enough. I’m just asking you say something to people fetishizing east asians. You dont have to go into a full argument but tell them theyre being gross so if theyre willing to look into it, they’ll see their mistake and better themselves.

My dad never kept his promises.
Remembering how that made me feel, like being at the top of a hill on a rollercoaster, only for it to stop, made me want to always keep my promises. Made me want to never disappoint those I loved.
My mom always screamed at me when I was crying.
She never gave me any sympathy, even when I looked at her with my saddest eyes begging for her pity. Remembering how that lit a flame inside of me, motivating me to get the fuck up and wipe my tears, made me want to always keep fighting. Made me always want to get back up.
The things we resent from those around us shape who we are, make us into better people. Their mistakes made us.
My parents taught me, maybe not everything, maybe not the right way, but they taught me. They taught me some things.
—  v.m
German Verbs

A list of useful verbs because my knowledge of verbs in German is very limited

sein - to be
haben - to have
gehen - to go
laufen - to walk
rennen - to run
fahren - to drive
reisen - to travel
schwimmen - to swim
stehen - to stand
sitzen - to sit
machen - to make/do
erschaffen - to create
kochen - to cook
essen - to eat
trinken - to drink
sprechen - to speak
sagen - to say
fragen - to ask
hören - to hear
zuhören - to listen
mögen - to like
wissen - to know (a concept)
kennen - to know (a person)
denken - to think
glauben - to believe
wollen - to want
können - to be able to
brauchen - to need
lernen - to learn
schreiben - to write
lesen - to read
lernen - to study
verstehen - to understand
vergessen - to forget
erinnern - to remember
üben - to practice
sehen - to see
beobachten - to watch
tragen - to wear
aufwachen - to wake up
schlafen - to sleep
arbeiten - to work
kaufen - to buy
spielen - to play
benutzen - to use
bringen - to bring
kommen - to come
zurückkommen - to return (come back)
geben - to give
bekommen - to receive
nehmen - to take
schauen - to look
finden - to find
treffen - to meet
anfangen - to start
beenden - to finish
versuchen - to try
entscheiden - to decide
geboren werden - to be born
sterben - to die
leben - to live (a life)
wohnen - to live (in an area)
helfen - to help
schicken - to send
verändern - to change (alter)

[French]

If there are any mistakes or better translations please let me know!

Edit: I fixed a few mistakes

#SuccessfulSaturdays

5 Ways To Boost Your Productivity

 Here are 5 productivity-boosting behaviours I’ve picked up over the last 2 years from some of the most successful people in the world. Since implementing these behaviours into my life I’ve seen progress beyond belief and I wish the same for you too.

1. Wake up early. This used to be the hardest thing for me to do, but I’ve found one enormous hack - sleep with the curtains open. Waking up early gives you more hours in the day to spend working on your craft and get more done. When I wake up at 5am I feel like I’ve gained an extra day and this is why it’s first on the list.

2. One thing at a time. Don’t spread your focus across 6 things at the same time - do one thing well and then move onto the next. When you try to get multiple tasks done at the same time they are done with a fraction of your attention and this leads to mistakes. It’s better to do it right the first time around than to have to come back and start again later on.

3. Take breaks. Working yourself too hard for too long will result in you having to take a long break later down the road. It’s better for your productivity to take short, regular breaks throughout the day to remain energised mentally and physically. The best breaks are ones you take for exercise and relaxing in nature as they will rejuvenate your mind and body so you can come back fresh.

4. Don’t waste time on your “competition”. My role model in business is Gary Vee - he says he wants to build the biggest building (business) in town by actually building it rather than tearing down everyone else’s buildings. He knows that the time he spends trying to bad mouth others is time he could be investing into building his own business.

5. Be grateful. There are going to be challenges along the way, but staying grateful for what you have and for the problems you don’t have is a great way to push past the difficult times. When you value the health and wellbeing of yourself and those around you - every other problem becomes minor in comparison. Having perspective on challenges and problems is key to not getting overwhelmed in these situations.

Peace & positive vibes.

Need some help getting to the next level? Add me on Skype for a free consultation - spoonofconsciousness@gmail.com :)

Lauren isn’t expecting much from her twenty second birthday. All the important milestones had already passed, all of them leaving her empty handed. No Hogwarts letter had arrived on her eleventh birthday, no mermaid tail had appeared on her thirteenth. The enormously prophetic sixteenth year – the year famously known for having destinies foretold, for being kidnapped by gods, for falling into a ridiculous love triangle – had come and gone with nothing of note. The most magical part of her twenty first birthday had been that’d she’d manage to consume that amount of alcohol without dying

No grand epics begin on the day of someone’s twenty second birthday.

This is because of those unlucky enough to be chosen at this tender age – most don’t ever make it back.

Dead men tell no tales, after all.

~

(Dead women do. The bones and bubbling corpses of hundreds of daring, unfortunate women are screaming warnings and fury at the next girl to join their ranks of the lost and forgotten.

But no one listens to a woman’s screaming.

No one will listen to your screaming either.

Sorry, dear. )

~

She wakes up and goes to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

This is a hasty decision, of course, although she does not know it at the time.

This may be her last morning. If she’d known, maybe she would have savored it. Snuggled into her warm sheets, pressed her face into the softness of her pillow, pulled the comforter about her bare shoulders, the most instinctual and simple of comforts.

But then again. Maybe not.

There is also an instinctual, twisted pleasure in ripping off the bandaid.

Keep reading

Kiss Cam (ALiL Deleted Scene)

Summary: (College!AU): In which you volunteer to go to a basketball game with the guys and end up in an uncomfortable situation.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,351

A/N: Anon requested: Kiss cam at a college game for lessons in love deleted scenes. This takes place between “The Little Things (Part Two)” and “The Get Together”

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - you’re the best editor a girl could ask for

Originally posted by hopeinloveinfinity

“Thanks for coming tonight,” Steve says as the two of you walk together to the concession stand. “I owe you.”

“No you don’t.”

He takes your hand, blue eyes steadily staring back at you. “Y/N, you voluntarily chose to come to this game with me so I wouldn’t be stuck with Bucky and Sam. I owe you, big time.”

He makes a good point when he phrases it like that. No one likes to go out alone with Sam and Bucky. They value their sanity far too much for that. “Buy me some snacks and you can consider your debt repaid.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How are you still a fan of Sam after all he's let happen to the fandom and to shippers in his name? You haven't personally been hurt by it so is it easier for you to ignore and pretend none of it ever happened? I'm struggling with my feelings about him and would love your insight.

As I have always said, I fan how I choose, and do my best to allow others the same privilege. If anyone reading this thinks I am talking about you, I promise you, I’m not.

I am sorry that there are people in the fandom who feel hurt. Its a shame that that was the result of something that should have been a fun and light-hearted experience. Please, however, don’t make assumptions, even posed as a question, such as ‘You haven’t personally been hurt by it so is it easier for you to ignore and pretend none of it ever happened?’ You don’t know what I have and haven’t been hurt by in this fandom, or by whom. I’m not pretending or ignoring anything. But I’m also not letting things have more presence in my life than they deserve.

You ask how I can still be a fan of Sam. First of all, I don’t believe that Sam did anything to fans, or allowed anything to be done to fans. I’ll talk more about that later. Even if I believed Sam did do something, that still doesn’t require me to stop supporting him. There is no one on this earth who has ever hurt me as deeply as my husband. No one has ever hurt him as deeply as I have. We don’t set out to hurt each other, but life is messy and people are imperfect. This is why I work every day of my life to practice the brutally hard art of forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t an ‘If/Then’ equation. It’s not, ‘If this person is submissive and humble and admits all of their faults, then I will forgive.’ Forgiveness is a single party activity that is not dependent on any other person’s actions or opinions. I can forgive my husband when he hurts me because I choose to, whether or not he has asked for forgiveness. Forgiveness is for me, not him. Forgiveness makes me a better, happier, stronger person, more in control of my life. Let me ask you a question: Why would I NOT forgive my husband? Why would I hold on to anger, hurt or frustration? How would it benefit me? What would I get out of it? Heartburn, high blood pressure, anxiety - I don’t need more of that in my life. Besides, I know my husband is a really, really excellent man. His list of positive qualities is miles long. But he is imperfect, as am I. I forgive him, he forgives me, we focus on being better, learning from our mistakes and reveling in the soul fulfilling joy we find in each other. That is not ignoring or pretending, that is choosing our own happiness and health in spite of the messiness that is sharing life with another human. We are all responsible for our own happiness and happiness is a choice. My life is far from perfect and far from easy, but I am a generally happy person because I choose to be. Even if he did do something which hurt me (he didn’t), I can choose to forgive and move on. How can I still be a fan of Sam? Because I choose to be.

You ask how I can still be a fan of Sam after all he’s let happen to the fandom. He didn’t let anything happen to the fandom. We are not some unified group who get together each month and read the minutes and faithfully follow the bullet items on the agenda. Fandoms are very fluid bodies. There is no entrance exam, or document to sign, no oath to swear or dues to pay. People come and go as they please with no explanation due anyone at any time. Therefore, there is no control over what happens in a fandom at any given time, and my perception of this fandom is completely different from another fan, who may not be on Tumblr, but is on Twitter, or who is on Tumblr, but we have no followers in common. There are the Instagram fans, the Facebook fans, the multi-platform fans, the book group fans - and in each of these areas there are subsets of fans such as fanart, fanfiction, shipper, non-shipper, gifmaker, video maker, live tweeter, sam fan, cait fan, toby fan, graham fan, duncan fan, etc, etc, etc. There are thousands upon thousands of people who consider themselves part of this fandom. There are subsets of this fandom I probably haven’t even conceived of. We couldn’t possibly all share the same experiences, even in the same fandom, because there is simply too much diversity on every possible level. Therefore it is literally impossible for anything to happen to the fandom. You believe that something terrible happened to the shippers, but not even that is possible. Who are the shippers? Am I one, do you know how I categorize myself? We are all in control of our own experience. Sometimes that means not engaging or blocking, muting, ignoring, biting your tongue and generally not paying attention to people who don’t deserve your attention. It’s not Sam’s job to tutor us all about how to successfully fan, and it’s not his job to soothe ruffled feathers when one person hurts another person. How could he even begin to know? There are two sides to every story, so even if he was made aware of one side, what about the other side? We are adults. Our problems are our own. Not his. He has enough problems.

Again, you ask how can I still be a fan of Sam after everything that was done in his name. I don’t buy it. I refuse to hold Sam liable for other people’s actions. They are responsible for those actions. I am a Christian. I do not condone the thousands of years of atrocities that have been and continue to be committed in Jesus Christ’s name. I’m pretty sure He doesn’t either. I’m pretty sure Mohammed and Allah and myriad other well known figures don’t condone what was/is done in their names. I also believe that you are making assumptions about what Sam has condoned and what he hasn’t, what he knows and what he doesn’t and what his responsibilities are. Some people see malice where others see sarcasm. Some see apathy where other’s see focus directed somewhere else. We simply don’t know what has gone on behind the scenes, or what people really felt, thought or did. If someone was a horrible bully or troll (and there were several someones) that is on them. They made bad decisions. Really bad decisions. I do know that no one was required to engage with anyone else on Twitter or any other platform. Lucky for me, it isn’t my job in life to judge other people. My job is to do my best to be a good person and be good to other people. I believe we should try to lead by example. I am a fan of Sam because I don’t believe he did anything or allowed anything to be done to fans.

Do you really want to know why I am still a fan of Sam? You think you’ve been hurt by him, or someone associated with him? You think this has caused great distress in your life? Maybe it has. Here is something I know about Sam. His dad left him when he was three. Three years old. I have four kids. I know intimately what it’s like to have a three year old. I know how much they need. I know what it takes to raise a boy to manhood. It’s not easy. Sam had no contact with his dad. None. No advise, no outings, no support, no role model. He had no father. I’m sure this hurt him deeply and continues to hurt him. After years of absolutely no contact with his father, they were reconnected. His dad was dying of cancer. He did not push him away, tell him to die alone, tell him that he left so there could be no relationship, or any of a million other things he could have done. He chose the higher path. He traveled to see his father. He truly connected with him. He learned about him. He go to know him. He offered him love and support as this flawed man was dying. In short, he offered at least some form of forgiveness. I’m sure it was hard for him. I’m sure there were many horrible things he wanted to say. Maybe he did say them. But we know from his own words that it didn’t end on a horrible note. It ended on a positive, healing, healthy note. That’s pretty remarkable and admirable. That’s just one example out of many that illustrate why I think Sam is worthy of my attention. He is a good man. He is generous with his time, talent and wealth. He cares about people and he isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty in the process of helping others.

You are absolutely not required to be a fan of Sam. It’s a supremely optional activity. But my question for you is why would I NOT be a fan of Sam? I have yet to hear a single person give me even one legitimate reason why I shouldn’t be a fan, considering that I should probably hold him to the same standard to which I hold myself. We’re both pretty flawed, messy humans. Isn’t life grand?