better win an emmy or something for these next two seasons

HMQ’s NaruHina fanfic masterpost 1/?

Ok so no one asked me to do this buuut I wanted to so here we go.

I’ll prob edit this as new works are published and when I find them. Btw, the order is irrelevant.

Also, sometimes “In-Progress” = “Incomplete” sadly…

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

**UPDATED AS OF 20/02/17**


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American Constipation Story

Facts and opinions about Blaine, Klaine and Darren Criss. By myself and the amazing Kurtbastian91.


Blaine doesn’t want an equal relationship, he wants to be under the spotlights,and that’s why he chose Dave, he doesn’t think Dave is at the same level of him. He makes fun of him in front of Kurt.

David, during their encounter, said that when he met Blaine they talked about Kurt, about how much Blane was angry at him, while David told him that Kurt was good to him. That’s what made Blaine starting to date David. He wanted Kurt to know he moved on with person who wanted Kurt at start, but chose Blaine at the end.

In the fifth episode, during the elevator scene, Blaine talks about David for making Kurt jealous. Klainers spoke about their kiss, their jokes, but nobody noticed that. David is yet another guy that Blaine used for keeping Kurt at his places. I’m sorry for him, but that’s how things are.

You noticed how many sponges were in the Blainofsky flat? I think Dave uses them for cleaning crusts of gel that Blaine leaves everywhere.

Serial cheater:

Blaine’s cheating was unthinkeable, and I don’t understand people who say it was OOC. I think it was miracle that he waited so long for cheating. For me he didn’t cheat on Kurt with Sebastian just because he would not have an excuse for it. The fact that Kurt was far away though, gave him excuse on silver plate, and in the Glee Club he could still be the hero of the two worlds.

During “tested”, Blaine was jealous of Kurt because finally guys saw how good looking and talented he was, while Blaine was just mediocre. He tried to humilate him in front of everyone because he was angry and jealous. Behind Kurt’s back though, Blaine flirted with guys on porn website, proving again how hypocrite he is.

I don’t like when they show cheaters as heroes: like people with reasons, with pain, that cheated because they felt alone, and bla bla bla. Of course they lose sight of real victim, that is the person who suffered the cheating, the humiliation. It’s horrible to be cheated on, you feel guilty, hurted and humiliated, and Kurt Hummel was humilated so much on Glee that I lost count. And it never happened to Blaine. Blaine was never sorry, and in fifth season he rolled his eyes, annoyed. That scene rapresent Blaine’s character.

I think during the performance of Teeange Dream, on forth season, Blaine was still feeling Eli in his ass. Did you saw his face?

The right theory is just this one: Blaine is a coward without balls and he will never be faithful to anyone, because he’s a serial cheater of the worst kind. He can’t be faithful to New Directions even, he can’t have a relationship. The only thing he loves, is his tube of gel filled by his sticky sperm.

Darren’s acting skills or the constipated peal:

They should give Chris Colfer an Emmy or a Golden Globe just because he didn’t burst out laughing on Darren’s face after the kiss in elevator. It looked like Darren was punched on his teeth, or he pooped in his pants or was costipated, and I don’t understand why. Sue was good enough to let them have bathroom, he could go if he wanted.

He (Darren) would win an Oscar if he played the role of a costipated guy. I don’t think they would make a lot of movie with a man always in pain on the toilet, though. I think the Darren stans would watch it, but honestly I don’t think that outside the fandom, that could be popular.

Darren is the only one who can look like being constipated and having diarrhea at the same time. With that, he has lot of talent. Not everybody could do it. I don’t know if Chris can make a face like that. If Darren stans think it’s sexy, I feel sorry for them. If I was them I would use it instead of cold shower for killing hormones. One minute of the break up scene, and all the desidere of having sex disappears.

We didn’t see when Blaine was kicked out from NYADA for a reason. Darren would make it look like his usual war against toilet.

I noticed too: Blaine and Kurt look like they are allergic to each other. Even when they kiss, they look forced. Kurt even more, because of Chris’s acting. He He looks like he’s scared by all the situation, and he has desire to physically be far away from Blaine. I can see Chris is grossed out by acting with Darren, and I think he’s right. How can you play a scene with a shitty script and an actor that always makes “toilet” faces?

I heard Darren’s acticg is a pearl! YES A FAKE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Klaine tales and a hypothetical robbers attack:

For me, if Kurt protect Blaine by robbers and Blaine tell them “take him and not me”, Klainers would say “Kurt is a terrible boyfriend, he always makes Blaine feel worse, could he not let robbers rape or kill himself, instead of trying to protect his life and making Blaine look like coward?”

The prince charming on white horse, the hero that will be able to sceam “Ueeeeh I’ll never forgive you for this”, while the big bad robber is beaten by Kurt. Klainers: “Kurt is such a dick. He should have let Blaine taking control of that situation. Blaine was about to do something, but Kurt is an attention whore!” Rest of the world:…what?

Kurt Hummel is the heart of Glee, not Blaine:

Kurt is character I always liked because it’s not stereotyped. He’s simply a gay kid, that like things some gays like, but not just that, he’s brave, sensible, kind, talented, ironic, sarcastic, irreverent. Chris could give dignity back to the gay character, one that likes things that usually people see as feminine. He was always proud of himself, without trying to be the best no matter what. He confronted bullies, struggled for acceptance, often didn’t find it from his own friends. He’s a character that had to go through the death of his mother and his stepbrother, his father’s sickness, a not deserved cheater, the bullism. He’s a character that never had anything without fighting, he knows victory, but even more he knows defeat. He’s a realistic character, because of this.

Klainers, ladies and gentlemen (and Crisscolfer stans):

I can’t tolerate Blaine, so of course I don’t want him next to Kurt. I think Kurt deserves a lot better, so I prefer other guys with him. Then I say, why those girls hate Kurt so much -  because he’s a cheater, manipulative, cold, evil, bitch, he plays victim, he doesn’t do anything for Blaine and doesn’t deserve his love – and they don’t want their little gelled angel, this vanilla Cupcake that poop chocolate-covered strawberries, this perfect and talented human being, to find the real happiness with someone who is not undeserving of SO MUCH PERFECTION?

I have a list for them: Jeremiah, Eli, Hannibal Lecter, Jigsaw, Freddy Krueger. I think they could be good boyfriends for him.

I’m sure that if Blaine beat Kurt, they would say he deserved it, or something like: “Kurt’s cheek hitted on Blaine’s hand, poor Blaine, his hand is in pain now, it’s not his fault if Kurt can’t stay at is place”, or better “Kurt made him do it, poor baby, can’t you see how much he suffers now? Poor Blaine, he feels so guilty. Kurt should apologize for doing something like that to Blaine, he’s a horrible boyfriend, he’s so lucky to have someone so kind next to him and he wants to get beaten for making Blaine feel guilty”.

The only reason they (Klainers) don’t complain, is because they think Kurt is lucky to have such attentions (talking about Blaine attacking him in car). I mean, who would not want to be raped by Bowtie-Gelled-Anderson?

You mentioned something I really hate about this fandom. I hate when they use gay rights, I hate when they say that Klaine should get married because it will be big step in favor of gay weddings. This story has a control-freak cheater in it, hypocrite and manipulator. I don’t care if he’s gay or straight, I don’t want to love a couple just because they are two guys or two girls. Rapresentation is very good, but it should be a positive one. What people can learn from something like Klaine? That cheating is good, if you’re so sad that you don’t wear hair gel, that’s okay to manipulate, if you make puppy-eyes after. This rapresentation is not good for anyone, even less for homosexual people. The only purpose it can have is making some young girl’s panties wet. It’s okay for me, but don’t make it look like something that is not.

You think they blaime Chris for Darren’s losing his hair? “If Chris stopped going out with his PR (Will), maybe Darren would not be so stressed.”

In Klaine fics, they show Blaine without hair gel, and you should see how they describe him, like Adonis, so handsome (even taller than Kurt sometimes), with perfectly curls, skin that is like honey, eyes of the color of amber.

Some Klaines are even saying that Klaine kiss was not cheating on Dave. In some time they will write that Earth is not round, Peppa Pig is not really a pig, and Darren can act.

Chris is allergic to Darren’s cock, not gonna change!

Just Blaine the Cupcake:

During the break up scene, he (Blaine) looked like a 5 years old child to whose friend broke his toy car, the reaction was the same: whiny whining, “I will never forgive you for this, your not my best friend anymore, now my buddy is Dave nehnehnehhnah, aren’t you jealous?”, a child, and not even a smart one.

I think it’s very unrealistic that in a public high school, and in a bigot town like Lima, Blaine goes around dressed like Clown Ken, and nobody say anything. I don’t understand if they are making fun of me, or if Blaine is really resurrected Jesus, and the punishment for even thinking bad about him is to burn in hell forever.

Sebastian and Dave are one thousand times the man Blaine is. He understood his mistakes, apologized and really changed, not just with words. At the same time Blaine was taking lighthouses in his butt.

Have you noticed that Blaine’s hair get worse as long with his characters? At the start they were normal, and Blaine was tolerable, then they were more and more gelled, and he became lord of assholes. Some for clothes: in the episodes where he dress worse he’s more asshole.

I think when they slept together (Klaine), Blaine screamed his own name during orgasm, and the same was with Dave.

Blaine NEVER fought for Kurt. All he did was just some big gestures that he needed to satisfy his ego and his wedding kink, or sending that stupid note and the Gilmore Girls dvds. That means fighting for Klainers? Blaine fought with Eli and Dave’s dicks up his butt, while Kurt was in pain for the break up. How you can take seriously a character that shows his depression by not wearing hair gel?

Scary pheromones:

Tina got crazy from the forth season, maybe Blaine has some kind of weird pheromones that make people become morons. It’s not possible that all the people that meet him start licking his butt, and loving him unconditionally.

They want us to believe that Blaine is this greek god craved by everyone, but all I see is an asshole dressed like an idiot.

Blaine kink meme:

Blaine is literally obsessed about the idea of marriage and finding husband. During the scene at Gap, he was already thinking about wedding, for getting Gap’d discount. He gave a promise-ring during to Kurt during third season, and pressing Kurt to getting married when they were not together. Even with Dave, he moved with him very soon. That’s the only thing in Blaine that never changed, together with bitchness, arrogance, and his problems with monogamy. Probably he has wedding magazings under his bed, and he pasts his photos and Kurts on the couples there. It’s super creepy, he reminds me of Bluebeard, and they probably share the shape of eyebrows.

Blaine was very happy that he finally got what he always wanted (getting married), and I hope he doesn’t have “widow kink” too, or Kurt will be in troubles, but I think he will start whining for a dog and kids. Maybe his kink is the classic american family.

I can imagine Blaine copy and past Kurt’s photos on wedding magazines, while he writes “me and Kurt are gonna have our Happy ever after”. He’s a lot worse than Sue, Blaine probably has a secret room with manips of Kurt as 50’ hoursewife.

Future Klaine:

I can see Kurt in ten years as a successful man, he won Tony on Broadway and he’s marrying the love of his life after a bad divorce to Blaine. Blaine is alone, in Lima, forced to use the product of his onanism on the few hair he has left.

In my mind, Kurt broke up with Blaine after third season, he was just accepted at NYADA from the start, and never looked back. He and Sebastian met on Broadway, Sebastian was at his show one night, and started woo him, until they started dating. Blaine? He moved in Tibet, because after losing his hair he became a monk, and he liked that monks are all men. The only problem, is that he can’t sing with them.

When Blaine will live in the street without job and hair, maybe Kurt will be good enough to stop his car and leave some cash for him.

The black hole of Blangst:

One thing that I never understood: all the story about Blaine’s abusive dad. Okay, Blaine said to Burt that his dad wanted him straight, but what he did, for all we know, was asking his son to fix a car with him. I don’t think that’s homophobic, it looks just like a father that wants to get closer to his son, in the ways he can. Blaine’s parents sent him to a expensive private school because he was bullied, and then moved him in another school so he could be with his boyfriend. I don’t think they are abusive, on the opposite. I thought Blaine wanted to play the victim, as usual.

And I remember Blaine told Kurt he was attacked at prom, before he moved to Dalton. Maybe it’s just Darren’s bad acting, but Blaine never looked like a guy with this kind of trauma. At McKinley’s prom he went to the stage to sing, and it wasn’t even his school.

Poor baby. Can you think he didn’t gelled his hair? He was suffering. It’s not right that Blaine had to feel so much pain. Kurt was an asshole, he should have forgive him right away. Okay, Blaine cheated on him, but the poor boy was lonely. Kurt didn’t aswer a phone call, what a piece of shit. Kurt doesn’t deserve somebody who loves him like Blaine, and now the little Cupcake is destoyed by pain. Kurt should beg to have him back.. They would like more for Kurt to be raped, insted of having him with a man who loves him. He DIDN’T gel his hair, people should think more deeply about this.

Everytime that Blaine and Kurt break up his reaction (Blaine’s) to pain is not having gel in his hair. What a deep character, he’s really in love with Kurt, for 4 whole days of his life he didn’t wear hair gel. “How Kurt can make him suffer so much??? And after everything that Blaine did for him! He’s the best thing that ever happened to him. Kurt was so lucky to have Blaine as his boyfriend, who else would ever looked at him otherwise”…Kurt was sick for months after both break ups, he took sleeping pills, was sad and hurted, and during the second break up he didn’t date anyone for months, because he had respect for Blaine. But Blaine didnt wear hair gel, so I want to join his pain by sending him my symphaty.

The storyline of Blaine’s gay bashing was ridicolous. Maybe, if Darren was good actor, would have been interesting. But as the things are now, Blaine doesn’t look as somobody who was victim of homophobic attack. He can’t stop showing off, being under the spotlights, trying to be the leader. You can see from what he wears that he’s not afraid to have attentions. He’s not a guy with a trauma. The only attack was against my balls.

Be careful with death, just Blaine can save you:

We all have to die, what a news. The only sure thing in life is death. We can’t stop the inevitable, but we can make something good of the time we have left. That doesn’t mean we should throw ourselves in the arms of moron, it means we should be careful with our choices, because life is just one. I hate how they used Kurt’s mom and Finn for message that is totally wrong, toxic and offensive. I ask myself why Burt and Carole didn’t support Finchel’s wedding, since the only purpose of life is getting married as soon as possible, because you can die the next day.

My grandparents died, that’s why I should marry Blaine? I’d rather being hitten by truck, or eaten by wild dogs.

I hated that they used Kurt’s mother and Finn for forcing Kurt to get married, it’s really ridiculous. We all know we have to die, that doesn’t mean we have to marry the first guy we meet, or we would get married as kids for not losing too much time, or just after puberty. I never heard bullishit like in the last episode. Kurt was forced to get married, he kept looking around, waiting for someone to say “what the fuck are you doing?”, but of course everybody were Klainers there. It’s better to be alone that with friends like that.

I want to see the real Blaine:

I think I have a theory that would explain everything: for me there is another show, named Glee, and the lead characters are called Kurt and Blaine. That’s why we can’t understand each other, why there is confusion. It would explain everything, really. Probably Blaine in the other show is cool and handsome, he doesn’t know what hair gel is, he never cheated, instead he was the one manipulated constantly by this other character, Kurt. Also, Kurt and Blaine’s actors are really together in real life. That’s why Crisscolfer stans have their conspiracy theories.

Glee and soulmates:

It looks like some characters in Glee, as soon as they made out once, establish some kind of contract for life, in which if you made out you should spend the rest of your life with that person.

Learn how to tag:

If I was a bitch, and didn’t love Dave ad much as I do, I would post Blainofsky in their tags non-stop. And I would say: “Blaine is half of the couple. Am I wrong?”, “Darren is the actor who play Blaine, so I tagged in the right way”, “we’re free to tag what we want”. The can cry if they want, doesn’t change the fact that their little Cupcake took Dave’s big cock in his gold-shining ass.

Chris Colfer tag is dangerous like toxic gas. Better to stay away. If we want to see Chris, it’s better to go in some blog dedicated to him. It makes me even more angry that they post photos with JUST Darren in it, but tag them “Chris Colfer”. Not Lea, Kevin, Naya, Amber. Just Chris, because he’s Darren’s boyfriend (lol), so what’s wrong with it? They are really a pain in the ass.

Let’s save the world:

I think that with a punishment like putting hands in Blaine’s hair, there will be less crimes in the world. And if they should put their tongue there, Earth finally will know piece and harmony.

… or let it die:

If Klaine is the best couple of the millennium, then the world should have ended in 2012.

Moffat appreciation, day 6

Series 9 was heartbreaking. Not just because of how emotional it was from start to finish, not just because of the amazing but gut-wrenching fate of Clara Oswald, but because of how hated and underappreciated it was by so many people. Yet at the same time it stands as Steven Moffat’s masterwork as show runner of Doctor Who.

No surprise, this is a long article, so a break first.

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Maisie Williams On ‘Game Of Thrones’ And The Future: “It Needs To Happen Organically” 

Maisie Williams has every reason to be cheery, even as she’s battling a cold. Her Emmy nomination for playing Arya Stark on HBO’s Game of Thrones is as long overdue as any acting recognition has ever been: how many actors can claim to have taken a character from awkward little princess to dangerous warrior in the space of just six ten-episode seasons—and as part of a mammoth ensemble cast—without it ever feeling false or unjustified? Think of Arya, watching her father’s execution, helpless; serving the table of the man who architected that execution, incognito; making a list of sworn enemies she intended to kill, who were all bigger, stronger and more powerful than she could ever hope to be; suffering the painful lessons of Jaqen H’ghar, resolved to push back.

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anonymous asked:

I can't seem to be excited about McReedus on TD next week (yet) because I am so fucking afraid for Carol! Did you see her stepping up to that jerk-ass in the promo tho!? Holy mother of YES!! I'm a nervous wreak right now but I'll hold you if you hold me back :) Also I just found out you could leave an ASK without an account - so I NEEDED to tell you that YOU ARE FUCKIN AMAZBALLS!!!! Please don't ever believe otherwise because it wouldn't be the truth.

Hi my anonymous friend,

Thank you so much for your lovely sentiments! We are all in this together and really, I think anyone sticking up for Carol at any time is AMAZBALLS and an awesome human being, so while I don’t necessarily think I deserve the praise I am definitely glad to be mixed in with a group of those kind of people. The Carol Army, just like Carol herself, has always been underestimated by those trying to bring her down, so if I can bring some positivity and sunshine to repel some of the negative nonsense sloshing around, then you can rest assured I’ll be there with bells on. Staying ‘Carol Cookie’ sweet the whole time of course.

They think Carol is slated to die next and they have their reasons why, well the least we can do is offer up some of our own reasons of why we think they might be wrong…AGAIN!
Especially since they’ve been wrong about so much Carol related goodness in the past. 

Now admittedly being emotionally invested in a character like Carol does make a person somewhat biased BUT it’s exactly that “investment” that makes us know and notice things regarding her that those who either aren’t or simply don’t want to “watch” things that closely, might miss or even distort through their own negativity. 

Bottom line is that we are “invested” in the positivity that flow from Carol and HER actions while they are “invested” in dismissing or distorting what she does into something to justify their own premise to want HER GONE. 

Since our purpose is essentially opposing one another - listening or reading their “reasoning” is pointless so the first thing to do if you find its starts to affect your own morale is to click AWAY from it.
It’s written and designed to make you worry, second guess yourself or plant a seed of doubt in your mind…so NOPE right out of there and review these CAROL FRIENDLY facts with me.

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