better to mace you with

–Wild Space, Karen Miller

THIS FUCKING MOMENT.  Anakin speaks up that he thinks he knows better and Mace is chilly when he says, you think know better than who have been at this far longer than you and do this professionally and are good at their jobs?  Anakin, who doesn’t even hesitate, nods and says, Yes, I do.

AND MACE BELIEVES HIM.  AND SAYS, OKAY, THEN GO FOR IT.

Even when they know he’s prideful (and Anakin is, that’s one of the things he has such trouble with, setting aside his pride and arrogance, especially when Palpatine stirs it up constantly and Anakin often uses it as a defense mechanism), they know he’s honest.  And they give him the chance, they trust him, they believe in him.  They say, okay, if you can improve things, then go help improve them.

AND I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THAT.

anonymous asked:

Killjoy!Mace was amazing, what happens next? Do people find out? What other changes have they made? How confused is everyone?

“Well Karma is a bitch isn’t it Mace?” Obi-Wan was grinning in delight, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the man on the medical cot. “What was it you told me last time I ended up here? Oh right, you were not going to kiss my booboos better because I was underage. That was it.” His grin was ramping up a notch.

Mace narrowed his eyes and would lunge at the boy…man…ugh… his husband, if he could. But there was the little problem of both his arms being in cast at the moment to do anything about it. “You are in so much trouble when I get out of here. I swear Obi-Wan.” The Korun growled quietly.

“Promises, promises.” Obi-Wan offered in return aridly. Then he slid over the floor like the graceful swan he was, all slender muscles and youthful bounce.

Honestly?

Mace couldn’t wait until Obi-Wan started to broaden out again, he did miss that part of his love.

The eighteen year old leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, taking Mace by surprise, making the man look up in surprise to catch Obi-Wan’s lips curving into a small smile. “Karma might be a bitch, but I’m not.” He offered softly to the obvious question in Mace eyes.

That got a small snort out of Mace. “Well, that’s true at least.”

Chuckling faintly, Obi-Wan settled on the bedside, the two staring at each other with a quiet sort of understanding and a bond that went deeper then even the Force.

This bond was forged through spirit, through years, through peace and war, through fire and through death.

Through understanding and love.

“…There’s revolution in the air. Can you taste it?” Obi-Wan whispered. “We’ve done either to much or not enough.”

“There was always going to be revolution. Two Jedi are not enough to put out the flames of the Galaxy my Obi-Wan.” Mace countered quietly. “You know that better then me.”

The redhead stared at him a long moment. “…I’m not dousing us in gasoline again. We lit ourselves on fire once for the Galaxy, I refuse to do it again Mace.”

The Korun sighed quietly. “We’ve removed many tools from the grasp of the Sith, we can’t stop a tidal wave Obi-Wan, we are not all powerful.”

There was a quiet growl and then Obi-Wan pushed from the bed, pacing.

This was not the first time they’ve had this argument.

It wouldn’t be the last.

War and pain and loneliness had made Obi-Wan reckless, demons nipping at his heels with every new day and every new revelation of what had made the war possible.

“Then we should lea-”

“And if we leave Obi-Wan, then what? What about the ones caught in the crossfire? If the Jedi leave…” He let his words trail off and Obi-Wan closed his eyes.

“…Why do you always have to target my sense of duty?” He laughed bitterly.

“Because there are four things true about you Obi-Wan Windu Kenobi.” Mace gave him a half smile, on the verge of sadness. “One, you will always adore your padawan Anakin Skywalker regardless of all that happened. Two, you will always love me. Three, you have a sweet tooth that survives a war and a purge. And four, your sense of duty wins over all other emotions.”

The two stared at each other, Obi-Wan at the foot of the bed.

Obi-Wan looked away first, his face contorted in a grimace of pain that hurt Mace more then he wanted to admit.

And then the door swished open, both turning their attention to it in surprise as Yoda stared up at them, tapping his cane lightly on the floor. “…An confession you two have?”

Home Is Not a Place

Fandom: Critical Role
Pairing: Pikelan
Wordcount: 3646
AO3

Summary:  Sometimes, forgiveness didn’t happen right away. Sometimes, things took time.

Scanlan knew this. He’d also never been known for his patience. He was trying to give Pike her space, though, he really was. He knew she had every right to still be mad, even after a week of traveling with him again.

And then fate- or rather, Keyleth- intervened.

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It’s Mace Motherfucking Windu, he can do whatever the fuck he wants Part 2

(OR: Mace Windu Unfucks The Timeline) 

Part 1 Part 3

“I have absolutely no clue if this even fits in with anyone’s personalities or characters, but funnily enough I don’t give a shit.”  -lily, who might again be concussed judging by her misspent time these past two days.

This whole time travel thing is apparently really bad for Mace’s reputation.  I mean, it’s only a matter of time before he gets caught doing something ridiculous, right?

Many thanks to @royalpinkzeppelin for betaing and talking me through this one and hanging on when I was typing out loud and making strange metaphors.  Also, the pun on Mace’s name is his.

Also also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUNSBULLETSANDPOINTYTHINGS!!!!

Edit: some paragraph breaks added where I just noticed they were missing x.x


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charity-angel  asked:

Tiny Matchmakers is amazing. How frustrated/amused are Yoda and Ani going to get while Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan avoid each other?

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you two were arguing.” Mace settled on, glancing between the padawan and the master.

Obi-Wan didn’t react with more then blinking at the Master of the Order while Qui-Gon raised his brows at Mace. “I was not aware that we were here to discuss personal relations, I thought were summoned to have more information given about Naboo and our actions for it?” He murmured.

“Hmm…” Mace frowned at them before nodding. “Yoda has decided that while unasked for by the Senate, further assistance to Naboo should be granted. Because of this, I am coming along. He has also agreed to take Skywalker as his padawan.”

The old troll looked at them with a small smirk.

Qui-Gon’s brows hit his hairline as he stared at the master of his master.

He then glanced at Obi-Wan who was staring at the Senate Dome and not looking at anyone else. ‘He can’t avoid me forever.’ He thought grouchily. ‘He’s going to be trapped on the ship with me to Naboo.’

()()()

“He’s avoiding him!” Anakin groaned, flopping down on the floor of the shared quarters he had with Yoda.

“Hmm, stubborn Obi-Wan has always been, a knight he now is, necessary for him to interact with Qui-Gon it is not.”

“But he loves Qui-Gon!”

“Know this we do. Hurting Obi-Wan is though. Easy for Qui-Gon this will not be.”

That got Anakin to sit up, staring at Yoda. “And it shouldn’t be easy for him, he hurt Obi-Wan a lot but I didn’t think he’d start avoiding Qui-Gon. I mean…”

“Before Obi-Wan had no choice. Now his emotions are known and a knight he is, leave Qui-Gon’s side he can.” Yoda floated a cup of tea off the table and to himself, winking at Anakin.

“…Never thought I’d see you do frivolous Force use.”

“Old I am, set in my ways, but occasionally derive from them even I do.” Yoda hummed, sipping. “Ideas for them you have?”

Anakin frowned, settling cross legged on the floor. “Well placing them on the same mission wont do. They’re professionals, they wont let their personal issues be mixed into their mission.” He hesitated. “But if they were stranded…” Anakin sighed.

“Stranded?”

“Or undercover. Forced to spend time together.”

Yoda stroked his chin at that, staring into the air before cackling and Anakin felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He had no idea Yoda could CACKLE.

()()()

“What…?” Qui-Gon stared at the council as if he couldn’t believe what was just said.

Obi-Wan outright rubbed his ears and checked for earwax. “Master Yoda, could you please repeat that?”

“Undercover as a recently married couple you will need to be for this mission.” Yoda offered serenly. “Lodgings already arranged has been. Need to reach the transport you need to, in an hour it leaves.”

Obi-Wan’s jaw dropped. “You have got to be k-”

“A problem it will be?” Yoda tilted his head.

Obi-Wan glanced to his side only to quickly look forward when blue eyes caught his. “No, no problem.” He bowed. “Excuse me, I need to go pack.”

They all watched him go and then Qui-Gon slowly turned back.

“…Master of my master, I’m saying this with all kinds of respect…but you are terrifying.”

“Helped me my padawan did. Picked out the hotel he did.” Yoda cackled, wiggling in his seat and Qui-Gon dropped his face in his hands.

“Oh dear Force…”

Anakin Skywalker - I Hate You But I Love You

Requested: Yes. ( reader always being defensive/rude/emotionless around anakin bc she doesnt want him to know her true feelings but one day they’re in a battle and Anakin gets seriously hurt and when the reader sees him in the med bay she starts yelling about how he couldve died and how much it wouldve hurt for her or smth? ) + ( Can u please of an imagine where u and Anakin are fellow Jedi and he thinks u hate him but u actually love him and he has a crush on u and during a mission u risk ur life for saving him and almost die and just a lot of fluff. )

Prompt: Anakin has a crush on the reader but he thinks she hates him and in reality, she loves him but she doesn’t want him to know how she feels so she hides it with fake hatred. When on a mission together, they both get hurt and scold each other for it, their true feelings coming to the surface.

A/N: I hope this turned out okay and that the two requests being mixed wasn’t an issue! xx


“I hate this.” You muttered to yourself as you walked next to Anakin. You both were on a mission on the planet of Geonosis and you were on your way to find Count Dooku and fight him. Your were both padawan learners but your Masters sent you two together, trusting you enough to handle it while they dealt with other problems. Sometimes you questioned their decisions, but you didn’t complain. You liked a challenge. Just not one that involved Anakin.

“Can I ask why you hate me so much?” He asked in a harsh tone, stopping in his tracks which caused you to stop as well. The truth was, you didn’t hate Anakin. It was actually the exact opposite. You loved him, and you had for years. But you didn’t want him to know. You knew that if he knew, he would just break your heart. Jedi aren’t allowed to love, and even though Anakin was pretty good at breaking rules, you were sure that was one rule he probably wouldn’t break.

“I just do, okay? You annoy me.” You said, crossing your arms.

“I annoy a lot of people, that’s no reason to hate me. And we used to be friends, Y/N. What happened?” He asked.

You rolled your eyes and laughed sarcastically, making sure to keep your act going. “Yeah, used to be friends. Past tense. Look, I’m sorry if you don’t like it but I just hate you, okay? Now can we get back to the mission?” You asked, tapping your foot impatiently.

He just scoffed at you before walking ahead of you, bumping your shoulder as he passed. You took a deep breath and sighed before turning around and catching up to him, making your way to where Dooku was hiding. 

When you arrived, you both drew out your lightsabers and looked around. When Dooku showed himself, you ignited them and prepared for battle. “Y/N L/N and Anakin Skywalker.” He chuckled. “Padawan learners, am I correct?This should be easy.” He said, taking out his own lightsaber.

“That’s what you think.” Anakin said before lunging at him, Dooku blocking his lightsaber with his own.

You rolled your eyes. Anakin had no patience at all. But then again, neither did you. You were about to join in on the fight against Dooku when multiple droids came in behind you at once. “Why me?” You mumbled to yourself before rushing over towards where the droids were, your lightsaber at the ready. 

They were the really dumb droids, as you liked to put it. Easily beatable. But there were quite a few here and it would take some time to get through them all. You began working on them, easily taking them out one by one. They tried shooting at you, but failed each time because of how quick you were. After a while and a lot of quick movements, you had taken them all out, pausing for a moment to take a breath.

Just as you did this, you heard a yell from behind you, causing you to whip around just in time to see Anakin falling to the floor with one arm missing. Your face was a mix between panic and anger when you saw this. You hoped more than anything that Anakin was okay, but you wanted to kill Dooku for what he had done.

Dooku was standing above him and you knew what would be coming next if you didn’t get over there now. You ran over them as fast as you could, stopping right in between the two of them and blocking Dooku’s lightsaber with your own before he had the chance to kill Anakin. “Get away from him.” You said sternly, using all of your strength to push Dooku back. You succeeded, but he got back up immediately, laughing at you.

“Padawan learners. You think you’re so much more powerful than you are.” He chuckled, whipping his lightsaber at you but you just managed to block it. With a look of pure rage on your face, you were doing the best you could to fight him off. 

“I am powerful.” You said, hitting his saber with yours again. “I can take you, Dooku.”

He laughed again, not saying anything as the fight grew more intense. You could feel Anakin’s gaze on the two of you as you fought, but he didn’t have the strength to get up.

You began to get caught up in your rage, not focusing on anything else. It blinded you. It was allowing you to do well, that is, until you slipped up once. Just one mistake, and that ruined it all for you. Dooku struck you in the side, causing the skin to pierce and you fall to the ground immediately, your lightsaber falling with you. Dooku used the Force to push you back towards where Anakin was. The intensity of the push caused you to hit your head hard on the ground which lead to you falling unconscious, everything around you fading to black.


When you woke, you were in the medical part of the ship you had arrived in with Master Windu. You groaned, you felt pain throughout your whole body, but it wasn’t as bad as you had assumed it would be. You had a headache from being thrown on the ground, and your side felt like someone had stabbed you- which they did. But it was wrapped up, meaning your injury had already been dealt with and would probably feel a lot better soon. 

You sat up and turned to your side where Mace Windu, your Master, was sitting. “Are you alright?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah…yeah, I’m fine.” You said, looking around. “What happened? Last I remember I was fighting Dooku, and then this happened-” You pointed down at your side. “- and then I blacked out.”

“Well, just after you blacked out, myself and Masters Yoda and Obi-Wan showed up along with a few others for backup. We managed to capture Count Dooku, you and Anakin did a good job until we got there. I’m proud of you.” He said, patting you on the shoulder.

You smiled. You liked being praised for your skills. But your smiled faded and turned to worry once you processed the name ‘Anakin’.

“Anakin, is he alright?” You asked Master Windu.

Windu nodded. “Yes, he’s fine. However, his right arm has been severed and he is getting a replacement now. Him and Master Obi-Wan are already back on Coruscant getting that dealt with.” He said, pausing for a moment after he spoke. “I’m surprised you’re asking, usually you couldn’t care less about Anakin.”

You rolled your eyes. “That’s not true.” You said, but he gave you a look which caused you to roll your eyes. “Okay, maybe it is. But this is different. I’m just curious, alright?” You said with a shrug, causing Windu to chuckle.

“Whatever you say.” He said, beginning to stand. “We’re landing, by the way. You can go visit Anakin if you’d like and then go rest. I’ll let you off these next couple of days so you can heal.”

Once he left, you also stood and headed for the exit of the ship, anxious to get to Anakin to see how he was doing. 

Once off the ship, you rushed inside as fast as you could without causing yourself pain, hurrying down to the medic area. There you saw Anakin resting on a bed, a metal arm in place of where his normal arm used to be. “Why weren’t you more careful? You could’ve been killed today! Do you know what that would’ve done to me?” You scolded him as soon as you approached his bed, him looking at you in surprise.

“How would me dying affect you at all? You hate me, remember? Please, enlighten me, Y/N.” He said, raising an eyebrow and waiting for a response

“Hm, I don’t know, Anakin. Maybe because I don’t hate you and I actually love you!” You blurted out, not realizing what you had said until you saw the look on his face. You turned around, making sure no one else had heard, which luckily they didn’t, before you took a deep breath and prepared for what was to come.

“You- you do?” He stuttered, clearly stunned by what you had said.

“Maybe.” You said, crossing your arms out of habit.

“Well then why do you act like you hate me?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

You sighed. “Because…I’ve always been worried that you wouldn’t feel the same way if I told you, or if I made it obvious. So I put on the hate act, hoping that it would make me not like you anymore, but if anything it somehow made me like you even more.” He was smirking by the end of your sentence which then lead to you furrowing your eyebrows. “What?”

“Well, you’re in luck.” He paused, reaching for your hand and lightly pulling you down to sit next to him on the bed. “Because I happen to love you too. Not that I want to admit it, but I’ve felt this way for years now.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. “Really?” You asked, your cheeks beginning to heat up.

“Really.” He confirmed, laughing slightly at your reaction. He was used to seeing you so emotionless and hateful towards him, not smiling and blushing at him. But you were great at hiding your feelings. 

After hearing this, you were no longer afraid to do the very thing you had been wanting to do forever. You leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. You felt his uninjured hand move up to your cheek as you did so and then he began to kiss back. It was the best feeling in the world and you felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. All you wanted for years was for Anakin to know how you felt, but you had been to scared to tell him. But it was finally happening.

When you pulled away, you were both smiling. You couldn’t help it. Anakin’s gaze then fell to your side which was noticeably wrapped up due to your wound. “You could’ve gotten killed today too, you know.” He frowned, gently running his fingers over the gauze wrapped around your side. 

“I know. But I couldn’t just stand there and let you die. What else was I supposed to do?” You shrugged, a small smile on your face. “Plus, I saved your ass and I’m pretty proud of that.”

“Well, thank you.” He chuckled. “But seriously, I don’t want you getting hurt because of me again.”

“Anakin, relax. I’m used to getting hurt in battle.” You said with a shrug.

“That’s not the point, Y/N.” He sighed softly, looking at you. “I just don’t want to see you getting hurt when it should be me taking the fall.”

“Well, I feel the same way about you.” You said. “So I guess we’ll just have to protect each other anyways.” You smirked, nudging him slightly.

He just rolled his eyes and chuckled slightly as he looked at you. Neither of you believed you’d actually end up together but now that you were, it was the most amazing and surreal feeling ever. The only downfall was that the two of you would have to keep your relationship a secret from the Council, and everyone else for that matter. But you new you’d be able to do it. And you also knew the statement you had made about protecting each other would end up meaning more than just something you said in the moment. Being as reckless as you both were, you knew you’d end up having to look out for each other just as you had done today. And in reality, you had no problem with that.

Hellion (1/?)

hazard/mafia!au. kai’s part. 1413 words.

Break the Bystander Effect.

>

You really never know what to expect on your walks home from work every night.

If you’re lucky, you find nothing, you see nobody you’d recognize, and it’s a peaceful relaxing walk home with no catcalls or questions of “how much do you charge?”. Downtown Seoul at night is not a safe place. Even if it’s gotten better with those damned Hellhounds being slightly controlled by the not-much-better-than-the-hounds Guardians, you still keep a bottle of mace in your hand at all times. (You’ve had to use it before.)

You could, in reality, take a longer way home where you wouldn’t have to walk through downtown, but you work the late shift at your restaurant so if you do take the long way, the sky turns from black to blue before you’re three blocks near home.

So, you take the short way.

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eshnoazot  asked:

Concept: Mom Mace sitting down while Bb! Anakin paints his fingernails pretty colours bc "Gee whizz Mom u have good finger nails!" "Remember that Skywalker. If u don't cut off my hands off u can paint my nails forever. Deal?" "Lol sure. Gosh Mom ur so funny!"

Mace, you know better than to make promises like that. Anakin is gonna HOLD YOU TO THAT. Twenty years later Anakin is like “Hey Mom, Luke and Leia wanna learn how to paint nails, CONGRATS YOU’RE A VOLUNTEER” and Mace is like “well good thing you didn’t cut either of my hands off, then, I’ve got one for each of them to practice on”. 

anonymous asked:

It's always seemed weird to me that Windu gets called out bc of how he went after Palpatine? Theyre at war and this guy has been proven the sith lord puppetering it and the jedi dont believe in coming back from the darkside? (1/2)

(2/2) is he supposed to arrest him? So many jedi and clones and civilians dead bc of this guy that will be superhard to get/keep in jail (bc sith lord and chancellor) this is also something that doesnt happen to other charas see: obi wan vs enemies            

you know why.

(there are actually multiple reasons why; including mace being on the council/the face of the Order)

That aside, Mace actually does try to arrest Sidious. That’s the thing that gets me. Mace does try to take him into custody, which might just be SOPs, given that Jedi don’t actually really into the whole killing thing but what darksider is actually going to submit? Then Sidious resists arrest, flashes his Sith Powers around, and plays helpless and preys on Anakin’s fears.

(I feel like ‘the ones you love’ is Sidious’ “would you kindly” lol)

Rewatching that, I totally think Mace had this one. Mace Windu was actually going to hecking overpower and kill a Sith Lord - a Sith Master. Mace Windu is cool as heck!!!! He deserves better tbh.

You might be able to call Mace Windu executing Sidious into question, but given the guy just fought him off with Sith Lightning, I don’t know that I would call Sidious ‘unarmed.’ Just because he’s using a mana pool instead of a fire sword doesn’t make him helpless. There is no possible way for them to take Sidious into custody unless the movies made Force Inhibitors Movie!Canon.

If Force Inhibitors were canon, you could be almost 100% certain that Mace Windu would have brought some to arrest a sith lord, even if Sidious hadn’t flashed his lightning powers around and continued to pretend as helpless Chancellor Palpatine. I mean. Honestly. How are the Jedi going to provide Proof to persecute? On the word of another Jedi?? LMAO!!!!! All Palps would have had to do is whine and cry about how they’re taking over the Republic and the Senate themselves would have crushed the Jedi beneath their heels

(Someone, there’s a fic hook for you: Palpatine Destroys the Jedi through playing the victim :> :> :> )

I’m not good at plotting things in the long run, but I’ve considered this a lot, and basically the only way to stop Sidious is to kill him. Even canon agrees!

kalm421  asked:

We haven't seen Melody Obi-Wan in awhile. So he is back on Coruscant. Mace wants to continue courting Obi-Wan. He finds a restaurant that apparently cooks fresh seafood. Obi-Wan eager for the date. But they get the food. Obi-Wan instantly knows that it's not fresh but still eats it to not make Mace fell bad. Then gets the melody version of food poison. Mace feels really guilty.

“…I am so sorry Obi-Wan.” Mace sighed quietly as he rubbed the others back steadily. “I really…I mean I thought…”

“You thought it was fresh.” Obi-Wan lifted his head from the bucket and gave his boyfriend a small smile. “I know. You were so excited about finding a place I could have fresh fish…”

“And you ate it because of that.” The Korun sighed and continued rubbing Obi-Wan’s back steadily

“I could have told you.” Obi-Wan sighed then retched violently though there was nothing left to come up and therefore he only felt sore when he finally pulled back enough to accept the water the other handed him. “Hopefully our next date will be better.”

“I’ll let you pick where we eat then.” Mace grumbled before pressing a soft kiss to the others temple while Obi-Wan swished out his mouth with water. “Better?”

“Somewhat, not looking forward to what comes later though.”

“Um…”

“Food poisoning at its best Mace.”

“I am so sorry.” He groaned and rubbed the others back.

“Please just make me a cup of tea and lets hope that stays down if nothing else.” Obi-Wan laughed quietly.

“Of course.” Mace got this feet and moved to the kitchen.

Obi-Wan watched him, smiling slightly as he placed the bucket down on the floor.

Sometimes he wondered how he managed to get so lucky in the face of everything else that had happened, in the face of war and intrigue and deceit.

And in all of it he had Mace.

‘Master Altis is right…attachment is not the path to the darkside.’ He stood slowly. ‘Love is a sign of compassion, of caring, of being human…obsession is the path to dark. Not this. Never this.’ Obi-Wan settled against Mace back, arms around the Korun’s waist.

“Thought you were going to stay on the couch?”

“Got lonely.” Obi-Wan hummed.

Mace chuckled quietly at that. “I highly doubt that.” He settled the kettle on and then turned, cupping the others face with a hand. “Though your color looks better.”

“You mean I’m not as green?” Obi-Wan hummed, nuzzling the hand.

“Yes there is that.” Mace pressed his lips against the others forehead, smiling a bit. “But you also don’t look as clammy.”

“Don’t worry, that will come back later.” Obi-Wan snorted before settling, letting the other touch him. “Mace…do you think there will really be a peace negotiation?” He whispered.

“I don’t know Obi-Wan.” Mace rubbed his back slowly. “We can hope…”

“I hear that Padme Amidala is spear heading the campaign since the chancellor fell ill.” Obi-Wan closed his eyes.

“Its odd how he just…fell over like that.” Mace mused, rubbing the others back.

“I hope he doesn’t die from it, Anakin is close to him you know.”

“I still don’t like that.” Mace grumbled before sighing happily when clever fingers started to rub his scalp. “But I do like that, that feels very nice.”

“I aim to serve.” Obi-Wan teased before pulling back when the kettle whistled.

“And so do I.” The Korun chuckled, turning to pour hot water into the teapot and let the leaves shimmer.

“Tea and then I’ll continue the scalp massage while I can still be among people and not be stuck in the bathroom. Deal?” The merman hummed.

“Deal love.”

crazy in love, ilana/abbi, broad city

“Dude,” says Ilana, “Duuuuuuuuuuuude.”

“My ass has never stopped traffic,” says Abbi, “I really wish you’d stop telling, like, street vendors that.”

“Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude,” says Ilana. Abbi gives up.

Ilana met Abbi on a spring day, on a street near campus. Abbi’s hair was blowing in the wind and her skin was radiant and she was desperately trying to scrape guacamole off her face. When some dude passing by said something creepy about ‘helping’, Abbi made a gesture so obscene Ilana hadn’t even known it existed.

Ilana fell in love instantly.

She walked up to Abbi and gave her hoodie, offered to get her high, and they stayed out all night.

(Abbi never noticed, in her panic, that Ilana let her wipe her face on her hoodie, and Ilana never tells her.)

“I’m not making out with you to get free drinks,” says Abbi, in the tone of someone laying down the law, which is bullshit, because she made out with a guy wearing an ironic farmer’s hat last week, Ilana could be nothing but an upgrade.

“I’m making out with someone tonight, it might as well be you,” says Ilana, and Abbi smiles, because she knows that Ilana’s kind of a slut. 

(And she knows that she’s the only person who ever gets to call Ilana that.)

“We’ll see,” says Abbi, and Ilana knows she didn’t mean it to sound like a come-on, but.

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