better than in the middle of a sentence

Too Early

Note: Time Travel AU

When Sakura was five years old, a man disappeared right in front of her eyes.

No poof, no smoke, no sound. Right into thin air.

Now, Sakura was also born into a village where there were people who regularly did this sort of thing, but she was fairly certain that he had not meant to disappear as he had been saying something before being cut off. It surprised her at the time, but she thought that it must have disconcerted him more—disappearing without intending to could come as a shock.

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truth is...//h.s

Originally posted by harrystolemyheart

A/N: I just picked a little something off the fluff prompt list because I really wanted to write and I hope you all like it! Just some fluff really and I’m running out of Harry gifs to use

Being on the other side of the silent treatment wasn’t fun.

And, okay, maybe it wasn’t quite the silent treatment fully. Harry was responding to you, but not with more than two words. Sometimes it was just ‘yes’ and ‘no’ and at this point you were past anxious and concerned and right onto frustrated and upset. You thought at first maybe he was just nervous because of the single and the promo. It was a lot to come back out into the world after such a calming hiatus where he spent most of his time filming and writing in a little bubble. 

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‘Shameless’ (US) Sentence Starters 

          WARNING: This meme, like the show, is very vulgar and most of it is NSFW mainly due to profanity.

❛ A shrink at school says I’m one of God’s mistakes. ❜
❛ Ain’t you the queen of silver linings! ❜
❛ All teenagers are sex addicts. ❜
❛ Alright shithead, this is like the two hundredth time I’m calling and you not picking up. I’m starting to get fucking homicidal. Call me the fuck back. I’m worried about you. I love you. Call me back. ❜
❛ Alright, you gotta get me out of this car. I’m getting too horned up. ❜
❛ An accident? Where his penis just slipped into your vagina? ❜
❛ Another word and I’ll blow your brains all over the fucking linoleum. ❜
❛ Are you going to leave? ❜
❛ Choose a gender and find someone who wants to fuck. Preferably for free. ❜
❛ Christ, I am tired of being poor. ❜
❛ Circle doesn’t start with ‘s’? What the fuck? ❜
❛ Come here. Get in my forcefield. ❜
❛ Did the two of us finish off an entire gallon of box wine the other night? ❜
❛ Did you purposely order a Sex on the Beach so I’d say it to the gay bartender? ❜
❛ Do whatever the fuck you need to do. I’ve got this. ❜
❛ Does he get that look in his eye when he’s with you? ❜
❛ Does she make you happy or is it just about the sex? ❜
❛ Eat my ass! ❜
❛ Everybody always leaves. ❜
❛ Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended. ❜
❛ Happy is overrated. Grow up. ❜
❛ I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is ‘fuck you.’ ❜
❛ I did everything for you, but you’re so fucking blind! ❜
❛ I did it all for you. You might even want to say thank you. ❜
❛ I don’t get how you have a kid and not give a shit what happens to it. ❜
❛ I don’t get it. Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them? ❜
❛ I don’t give a fuck. I’m happy to knock your fucking teeth out. ❜
❛ I don’t go onto Facebook, okay? ‘Cause I don’t give a shit about whose pet just died or who just checked in at the fucking McDonald’s. ❜
❛ I don’t know how much more I can take of that before I stab him/her in the neck with a broken beer bottle. ❜
❛ I don’t love you! ❜
❛ I haven’t had a drink for two days… Well, granted, I was unconscious. ❜
❛ I just came here for a fucking beer, alright? ❜
❛ I know that shit, bitch! That’s a cat! ❜
❛ I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things I’ve done and all 50 were when I was drunk. ❜
❛ I never thought I’d say this, but you were right. ❜
❛ I saw you smile. ❜
❛ I think you deviated my septum! ❜
❛ I thought it might be different this time. ❜
❛ I trust you. That’s bigger to me than ‘I love you.’ ❜
❛ I want you to take that shiv and jam it in his eye. ❜
❛ I will make this kitchen my bitch. ❜
❛ I would never leave you. Ever. You gotta know that. After everything we’ve been through, you kind just have to know that. ❜
❛ If you’re gonna talk shit at least do it right. ❜
❛ It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. ❜
❛ It wouldn’t have happened without you. ❜
❛ It’s a shame when someone you love gets taken away, isn’t it? ❜
❛ It’s never about me and I’m finally making it about me! ❜
❛ I’d be crying right now if I wasn’t so high. ❜
❛ I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. ❜
❛ I’m gonna beat your ass like a piñata until candy falls out! ❜
❛ I’m not a tool, so you don’t get to treat me like one. ❜
❛ I’m not homeless, I told you. I have a home, I’m just not welcome there. ❜
❛ I’m not my dad. You hear me? I’m not my fucking dad! ❜
❛ I’m probably biased, but you deserve better than him/her/them. ❜
❛ I’m sick of living in your shadow! ❜
❛ I’m taking care of me for a change, not him/her/them. ❜
❛ I’m the only thing that passes for a responsible adult that you’re gonna find. ❜
❛ Keep laughing or I will slit your throat in your sleep. ❜
❛ Last message, promise. Wherever you are… Bye. ❜
❛ Let’s be honest, he/she is my last chance at happiness and that’s more important than video games and masturbation, right? ❜
❛ Let’s go get drunk and buy a gun. ❜
❛ Look at me, I can’t go to jail! I might as well wear heels. ❜
❛ Men are never right. That’s why women were invented, to think for you assholes. ❜
❛ Name a single time I’ve ever let you down. ❜
❛ Next time, I’m gonna break both of your fucking knee caps, ‘kay? ❜
❛ No one gives a shit who you bang. ❜
❛ No one likes to hear a grown man whine. It’s like the verbal equivalent of a dude wearing UGGs. ❜
❛ No one’s ever been as good to me as you have. ❜
❛ No, no, no, no, no, no. The bat is for killing, not for taking to school. ❜
❛ Not everybody just gets to blurt out how they fuckin’ feel every minute. ❜
❛ Not to be a dick or anything, but you have been kind of a whore. ❜
❛ Oh shit, I’m sorry. You know I would’ve never said that to your face. ❜
❛ Oh, don’t mind me. I accidentally took three of my pills instead of one. ❜
❛ One of my unspoken rules is you don’t fuck somebody else when we’re on a date. ❜
❛ People fuck up. That’s life. ❜
❛ People like us, we can be happy. ❜
❛ Random destruction makes you think of me? ❜
❛ Really? That’s all you’re gonna say? ❜
❛ See that? They’re digging your grave. And you wanna be gone before they get that to six feet. ❜
❛ Seriously, I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just genetic. ❜
❛ Should I apologize or leave? …I’m gonna leave. ❜
❛ Show of hands, how many of you, at one point or another, wanted to see me dead? ❜
❛ Some girls are just jerks. ❜
❛ Stop acting like the world is out to get you when it’s so clearly dropping gifts at your feet. ❜
❛ Stuff just happens sometimes. ❜
❛ The best part of making a baby is that you get to have sex while doing it. ❜
❛ The first rule you hide in this house: You hide the goddamn money! ❜
❛ The only way to make money when you’re poor is to steal it or scam it. ❜
❛ We both know my only options are getting pregnant or getting arrested. ❜
❛ Well, he may look like he’s in a boy band, but he’s got a point. ❜
❛ Well, if you need me I’ll be across the street in the bushes, stalking you. ❜
❛ What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? ❜
❛ What the fuck are you looking at? ❜
❛ What you and I have makes me free. Not what these assholes know. ❜
❛ Whatever. Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch. ❜
❛ When she/he/they say ‘fuck you’ it means ‘I love you.’ ❜
❛ When you focus on other people’s problems, it’s a lot easier to ignore your own. ❜
❛ Where can I get knives and blunts? ❜
❛ Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? ❜
❛ Will you? Wait? Fucking lie to me if you have to. ❜
❛ Yeah, it gives me more time to buy drugs and fence stolen goods. ❜
❛ You can’t own a motto! ❜
❛ You could do things with your tongue that would make a rattlesnake blush. ❜
❛ You deserve to get out, even if you don’t take me with you. ❜
❛ You did okay. You tried. It’s a lot more than most people would do. ❜
❛ You don’t love me. ❜
❛ You have made me happy. I’ve never been very happy. ❜
❛ You have to let me go. You have to let me let you go. I need you to do that for me. ❜
❛ You know that jagermeister really makes you chatty, right? ❜
❛ You know what? Nothing’s ever your problem. Make it your problem! ❜
❛ You know where I live if you have a problem. ❜
❛ You know, having a Russian sex worker isn’t ideal for child care. ❜
❛ You say that again and I’ll rip your tongue out of your head. ❜
❛ You take care of everyone, but no one takes care of you. ❜
❛ You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch. ❜
❛ You want to get shit faced in the middle of the day? Vodka’s best. Believe me.  ❜
❛ Your coochie smells like brimstone and Sulfur. ❜
❛ You’re a loud, mean, vicious bitch. ❜
❛ You’re better than anyone I’ve ever met and you deserve to get out. ❜
❛ You’re kind of growing on me. ❜
❛ You’re not lost. You don’t need finding. ❜
❛ You’re nothing like anyone I’ve ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again. ❜
❛ ______ doesn’t have any friends. Only people he/she/they haven’t pissed off yet. ❜

Too Strange

Fandom: Marvel (Dr Strange)

Summary: Based on “Imagine being a rival surgeon to Dr. Strange” by @marvel-imagines-marvel-fandoms

Word count: 1970


“Hi, Doc,” you greeted the tall man in the corridor, moving past him. He cut his conversation off in the middle, running to you in hurry.

“It’s rather unusual seeing you in such a good mood so early in the morning,” Dr Strange caught up with you, ranting quickly, just like he did whenever he needed something.

“How can I not be happy knowing that you’re ending your shift in like… five minutes?”

“Four and a half, actually. And there comes this little, tiny question that I just happen to have for you… Would you like to change shifts with me, for like a… week?” he smiled slyly, opening the door for you.

You stopped in front of him, moving to him so closely that you could feel his hot breath on your cheeks.

“Nope,” you popped that out with a wide, bright smile that could light up the whole room if it wasn’t meant just to disrupt the man’s plans. You continued on your way to the dressing room.

Strange growled loudly, rolling his eyes, but he didn’t give up on you yet, he was far too determined for that.

He followed you like a very obtrusive shadow that had problems with understanding the basics. There was no chance he could convince you, not when you have finally became independent from him and were no longer his assistant. You have worked hard to become a successful surgeon and Strange wasn’t helping you in any way. You had unpleasant memories from the time he was your patron, but you have moved up since then.

“Oh, come on, it’s not gonna hurt!” he exclaimed loudly, getting the attention of everyone in the earshot, but because the most of them were your co-workers, they just smirked. It wasn’t the first time the two of you were arguing, and thank God, neither of you had any sharp tools close at hand, so it would most likely not hurt anyone in the process. This time, at least.

“Maybe, but why should I give it a chance?” you took your files from the  nice nurse at reception.

“Because I’m asking you for it?”

“Let me think… Nah. It doesn’t get to me.”

“Please, you know perfectly well that I can’t leave the patients with just any idiot and I really have to go somewhere for a week…!”

“Oh, so now I’m not just ‘any’ idiot?” you raised an eyebrow, throwing him a meaningful glance. Under any other circumstances, you would rip the person who dared to speak to you in that tone to pieces, but you have worked with Strange for too long to care anymore about his words.

“You know perfectly well what I meant…”

“No, Strange,” you stopped, almost making him hit you. “I only know what you say. And I have heard too many of your remarks, your snarky little comments about my work and my way of treatment – you have even dared to take my files and change the doses without my supervision!”

“Only once and only because I was sure that the doses were wrong!”

“If you have forgotten, let me remind you that I have a PhD too! And it looks exactly the same as yours! So you may think anything you want, but I’m as good doctor as you, no matter how many times you try to prove me wrong!”

“And that is exactly why I need you to take my shift,” Strange said in an uncharacteristically soft manner. “I am aware of your capability and I am sure you would be better than anyone else I could ask for this favour.”

You squinted your eyes angrily. You would look more dangerous if you weren’t so much shorter than this bastard in front of you, but it certainly didn’t stop you from trying.

“No, no, no – your psychological games won’t work on me, I hate you too much to be fooled by… you,” you gestured to him as a whole.

You were standing at the doorway of the changing room, thankfully empty. You still had a few minutes left before your shift, so you didn’t have to worry about time too much, but something else was bothering you instead. Strange looked… well, saying ‘strange’ would be a very low-leveled pun, but it actually suited him quite well.

The two of you have been like fire and water… no, not like that. Like complete opposites? No. Actually, the main reason why you hated each other from basically the day you met, was because you had too many similarities. Of course, it started slowly, with just little comments on work-related topics, then discussions about the do’s and don’t’s in work… and then he started to adjust your habits to his liking and that was what had finally set you off. You have been turning a blind eye on music while assisting him at operating patients, his singing, unusual and very non-ethical selection of cases, but when it started to affect you directly, you stood up to him, beginning a long, heated war.

And now there he was, looking at you with those puppy eyes, as always concentrated on his own business, and trying to arrange everyone else’s lived to suit his own. Not on your watch.

“You can stop it right now,” you said firmly, raising your chin. “You have been treating me like a child since the beginning, even though you knew perfectly well that you had no reason to do so. You are the reason my promotion got delayed for months. I’m not going to suddenly forget everything that’s been done, Strange. Now leave me alone or I’m gonna call security on some creep lurking in the changing rooms.”

You closed the door, somewhat waiting for him to shout something out or to come out to him waiting for you on the corridor, but when you got dressed and prepared for your shift, he was nowhere to be seen. It calmed you down a little bit, although you were still thinking about his behaviour. Strange has always been acting up, but even something like this didn’t suit him.

Your shift ended without any other surprises.

You yawned, heading to the exit of the hospital. You said goodbye to the receptionist, a nice, balding man, who you have never heard speaking a word. All he ever did was smile gently and nod to everyone. His presence has always been calming to you.

You stopped on the stairs outside, breathing in the fresh, chilly breeze of the early night. The city was finally slowing down after the rush of the day and you could almost sense it falling asleep. It was truly peaceful.

It all shattered to pieces when the all-too-familiar voice erupted besides you.

“Am I really so lucky or is it just a dream? Do you happen to need a lift?”

You clenched your teeth, slowly turning around to see a very pleased Dr. Strange. A few days had passed since he tried to use you and you almost believed he gave up on you and finally left you alone. But his smirk caused you to reconsider this.

“It has to be a very stupid dream, because my car is parked right there,” you pointed it out with a bright smile of your own.

It was common for you two to fight with a smiles on your faces. If someone was to look at you from the distance, it would look like two colleagues chatting gaily after work. Only the exchanged words were sharp as the blades and arguments heated to the point of madness. The staff of the hospital got used to it after some time and even joked about it, but it didn’t mean either of you considered this as a joke. You were far too proud and stubborn for that.

“It’s still looks like it’s my happy day.”

“Why is that…?” you asked suspiciously.

“Because my car just broke down,” Strange said happily.

“You just ended your shift. Plus, I won’t give you a lift, I don’t want to spend more time with you than is necessary.”

“Really? But I’m pretty sure there is something wrong with it.”

“Yeah. Have you ever heard about logic?

“Maybe once or twice. Most of the time I’m too busy to…”

“What do you want?” you interrupted him sharply. “I really don’t want to waste my time for your fooling around.”

Strange stopped in the middle of the sentence, just looking at you. If you didn’t know him better, you would think he was hesitating.

“I’m still waiting,” you informed him with raised eyebrow.

“I’m sorry.”

You forgot to breath for a few moments when all you were able to do was just to look bewildered at Strange.

You were having a stroke. Or hallucinations. Or dreaming. Yes, you were dreaming a very odd dream. A strange dream with Strange. Well, you knew that one day this man would make you insane and there it was…

“You okay…?” the man asked in a worried tone, waving a hand in front of your face.

“I hate you,” was all you could say.

“I just said I was sorry.”

“Stop this before I loose my mind completely.”

“Oh, come on! What did I do wrong this time?” Strange groaned loudly with frustration and disbelief. “I try to make things right for one time and even now…”

“Why would you do that?” you asked, coming back from your shocked state.

“I don’t know, maybe because I was a douche and wanted to redeem somehow…?”

“Skip the lying part, Strange,” you crossed your arms, unamused by his poor attempts at taking it all back and changing it to a joke.

He opened his mouth, but didn’t say what he had planned. He shrugged, suddenly out of words. Strange certainly wasn’t used to this kind of situation and had little to no experience. But it was too late to withdraw.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated sincerely, locking his gaze with yours. “I’m not saying that you should now forget about everything, because I admit that I have done more than I should have, but maybe we could… restart everything?”

You slowly nodded, taking his words into consideration.

“So… you really want me to replace you on that shift, don’t you?”

Strange groaned loudly.

“Can we forget about it for just one second and talk about my stings of remorse?!”

“So you admit that you have been unfair to me, am I right?”

“Yes! And I don’t completely understand why you have to be so mad about it! It’s obvious that you are smarter, more stubborn and intelligent than most surgeons in this hospital. You should know better than that!”

Silence fell between you. People were leaving the hospital, not interested in two strangers standing in front of it.

You licked your lips, not sure what you should do. You felt dubious and unprepared for such unforeseen development of the action. You smirked slightly. It has always been like that with Strange – just when you have gotten at last used to him and all his quirks, he suddenly changed or came up with something utterly different. But that was Strange. How could anyone with a name like that be considered ordinary?

“We can’t,” you answered him with a smile.

“Why not?”

“I’m gonna miss our arguments.”

Strange was taken-aback for a brief moment, processing your words. He shook his head in disbelief, hiding his face in his hands.

“You are unbelievable.”

“You have taught me to stand up for myself. It’s your fault,” you said jokingly.

“I have already apologized.”

“But it’s so satisfying to hear you do this, I can’t help myself…”

Mass Effect 2  {Sentence Starters}

  • “Hello, dead people!”
  • “This conversation is over.”
  • “Geez, you’re such a downer!”
  • “Have you got a minute to talk?”
  • “That was mean. But damn funny.”
  • “It’ll be better than the old days. You’ll see!”
  • “I don’t know why humans always ask me that.”
  • “I care about you. And I think you care about me.”
  • “Wait, that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.”
  • “Heard about anything interesting going on around here?”
  • “And should the worst come to pass, grant me forgiveness.”
  • “Can it wait for a bit? I’m in the middle of some calibrations.”
  • “I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees. — That is a joke.”
  • “Put more of the stuff in the… *hic* the thing more stuff goes in.” 
  • “Who said anything about love? I’m just trying to get you into bed.”
  • “But I should be above that. I’m saying that I regret what happened.”
  • “I don’t know what drugs you’re on, but stay back and I won’t shoot you.”
  • “If mom could see me now, we’d have zombies on top of everything else.”
  • “I don’t know what this is… if this is stress or just blowing off steam or —- ?”
  • “I’m sorry, I’m having trouble hearing you. I’m getting a lot of bullshit on this line.”
  • “The ______ have killed you once, and all it seems to have done is piss you off so…“ 
  • “What sound will you make when you hit the ground? You think you’ll hear it before you die?”
  • “Mess with someone’s head enough, you can turn a scared little kid into an all powerful bitch.”
  • “If you want to help, you’d need to get back there. But It would take a real bad-ass to make it back while injured.”

etherealbatwing  asked:

Morning dearest Jalapeñokins! I was wondering if I may ask, how would the RFA gents,V,Saeran,and Vanderwood handle the situation of really needing to adjust themselves but MC is right in front of them? (odd topic but at work this morning and I just saw a dude just reach in his pants give it a swirl and keep going 😂) I hope you have a lovely day!

Omfg I’m screaming lololololol

~But for real. Do what ya gotta do, right? Thanks for the request, my dear. ^^

◉ Yoosung

  • Cleared his throat
    • “ahem…”
    • “What is it, Yoosung? You look weird”
  • He blushed
  • How was he supposed to say this?
    • “Ummm…MC, could you turn around for a second?”
    • “Why? Are you playing a prank on me or something?”
    • “No, I swear! Just turn around.”
    • “Not until you tell me why.”
  • Oh god
  • Someone kill him
    • “Uh..uh, well, uh…Ya see…Little Yoosung™ is a little uncomfortable right now and I need to fix it…”
  • He wants to die omg

◉ Jumin

  • He’s sweatin’ bullets
  • He could never adjust himself in front of a lady
  • Think, Jumin, think…
    • “MC! Look at the adorable face Elizabeth 3rd is making!”
    • “Oh? She’s so cute!”
  • While your head is turned he whips his hands down his pants so fast omg
  • Sigh of relief
  • That was a close one, JuJuBee…

◉ Zen

  • He’s gotta do something about it
  • But he wouldn’t dare do it in front of you
  • He was breathing heavy
    • “MC close your eyes, I have a surprise for you.”
    • “Hmm, okay,” you close them
  • //shuffle shuffle
  • Thank god
  • “Damn it I didn’t think past this part, uhhhhhh”
  • Kisses you
    • “Awww Zen! You’re so sweet!”
  • “Smooth as silk, Zen”
  • //mental finger guns

◉ Saeyoung

  • You’re both in the middle of chatting
  • Red alert
  • Loooooooooong cat™ needs to be repositioned
  • Begin readjustment sequence
  • His hands go into his pants mid-sentence and he doesn’t stop talking
  • “Ahh, much better”
    • “Are you serious right now, Saeyoung.”
    • “I saw you itch your boob 4 days ago MC don’t judge me!!!!”

◉ V

  • Never
  • He would never
  • Ever
  • Nope
  • He will be uncomfortable for the rest of his life before he’d reach down into his pants and fix it in front of you
  • Let the suffering™ (until he can get to a bathroom) begin

◉ Saeran

  • Gives no fucks
  • His comfort is more important than what other people think
  • He’d just reach on down into those drawers and fix lil’ unknown
  • Whenever, wherever
    • “Saeran, you really shouldn’t do that when I’m here…”
    • “You’re right. I’d much rather have you do it for me.”

◉ Vanderwood

  • They’re freaking out
  • You’re out in public and they don’t know what to do
  • Cut you off mid-sentence
    • “ImsorryMCjustreallyneedtofindarestroomberightbackok?”
    • “Ummmm????? Alright????”
  • Rushing around
  • Oh god
  • So uncomfortable
  • Finally find one!!!
  • Jump behind a stall
  • PHEW
  • They can rest easy
  • The tiny agent™ is in a better place
Fake Girlfriend 2 || Dan Howell

A/N: It made me really happy to see that so many of you couldn’t wait for me to continue this story. I hope I did your expectations justice. 

There will be a part 3 next Friday

Word Count: 1.6k

POV: Dan

Masterlist // PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 // PART 5

Originally posted by mrphilip

“I prepared the guest room upstairs for you two. Why don’t you get your bags up there before you join us for dinner?” Aunt Sarah suggested.

Y/N and I smiled at her and nodded as we got rid of our shoes and coats. As my aunt headed back to the kitchen I started carrying both of our suitcases up the big stairs. Y/N followed me while curiously looking around.

“Nice house.” She commented as I opened the door to our room.

Everything was huge and fancy. My cousins and I used to play hide and seek here a lot because finding somebody was an actual challenge. The guest room that we were going to stay in had a en suite bathroom and big windows. I could only see the silhouettes of the big forest and the little lake that surrounded the mansion. Right in the middle of the room stood an enormous king size bed. I swallowed hard at the thought that Y/N and I had to share it. Why didn’t I think about things like that before deciding to come here? I carefully checked her facial expression when she walking in. I could tell that she hadn’t really thought about things like that either since she looked a bit surprised and blushed slightly.

“I’m sorry for making you do this.” I apologized as soon as I had closed the door behind us. I had underestimated the whole situation.

“I shouldn’t have lied and I certainly shouldn’t have made you do that.” I admitted, knowing that my whole family was waiting for us downstairs.

Y/N sceptically eyed me up and down. “Pessimism won’t help us right now.” She scolded me, sitting down on the edge of the king size bed. Knitting her eyebrows, she looked like she was deep in thought.

“We have to look like a couple and to make everyone believe that we’re actually in love we need a plan and a few rules!” she exclaimed, after quietly thinking for a minute.

She was totally right but that was easier said than done.

“What do you have in mind?” I asked with little hope, sitting down next to her.

“First we need cute nicknames for each other.” She simply stated and I couldn’t believe my ears.

I couldn’t believe that the girl that just said that to me was also the girl that would normally call me names.

“I personally like ‘baby’, but I think you should call me ‘love’ around your grandparents.” She told me as if it were the most normal thing on earth.

I swallowed hard and blinked at her. I then gave her a little nod to signalize that I had understood.

“What do we need rules for?” I asked her in confusion.

Y/N secured a strand of her hair behind of her ear before she answered.

“We need to make our relationship look credible, right? So we kinda have to, you know, hold hands and stuff like that.” She explained and I could feel my palms start to sweat. Great.

“We need to be super nice and complement each other and we have to at least act like we are interested in what the other one says.” She continued, playing with her hands.

“Okay, I get that. You still haven’t told me your rules though!” I told her, getting a bit impatient.

Y/N avoided eye contact. “Well…the rules are no mouth kisses, I get the left side of the bed and I don’t like it when people touch my bum, so don’t do that.”

I nearly choked on my own spit. Holy shit! What were we doing?! The whole situation was simply absurd and nothing but insane, but we still exited the room five minutes later and headed downstairs to eat dinner.

Aunt Sarah and her soon to be husband had prepared a huge table full of food for everyone. All wedding guests who didn’t live in Berkshire were invited to stay over. That included me, my cousin Harry and his sister Claire as well as my uncle Andy and his family. Everyone was already sitting on the table when Y/n and I walked in. They grew silent and all attention was on us.

“Daniel!” my family exclaimed. “There you are. Good to see you!”

“Hi, everyone! Let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Y/N.” I said, using the word girlfriend when talking about her felt weird.

After half an hour, everyone had finished their meal and aunt Sarah served dessert. Y/N and I were seated right across Harry. He seemed to be very interested in our relationship and Y/N in general.

“So, how long have you been together for?” he asked, his eyes focusing on her.

“Nearly, a year. Right, baby?”

Y/N’s face was glowing when she eagerly nodded her head and took my hand in hers. Harry kept asked her questions and at one point she started to slightly lean against my body and just the two of us talked. I learned a few new things about her and I actually made her laugh, although I wasn’t sure if she laughed because she thought that I was funny or if it was all a part of her act. I liked the sound of her laughter whether it was fake or not.

After everyone had finished their desserts Harry and I offered to carry the dirty plates into the kitchen. It was just the two of us and I set the plates on the counter next to the sink.

“So, you and Y/N, huh?” Harry asked cocking one eyebrow. For a second I thought that he knew that it was all not real, but then he continued.

“Honestly, Daniel she is fine.”

It took me quite a while to comprehend what he had said.

“Yeah, she is.” I then agreed and nervously scratched the back of my head.

“If she weren’t dating you, I would totally go for her. So watch out or I’ll steal your girl.” Although Harry wanted to sound like he was joking we both knew that he was 100 percent serious. There was a hint of jealousy in his voice and I felt some sort of satisfaction. I was the one with the pretty girlfriend and perfect relationship for once. But soon a strong wave of anger hit me as I realized that Harry tried to flirt with my girlfriend all evening. What a fucking jerk!

My blood was boiling as I headed back to the dining room where Harry was already talking to Y/N again. Her girly giggle sounded through the room and that was all it took for jealousy to take over my body. I sat down next to Y/N and my hand went directly to her thigh. I didn’t really know what I was doing when I started to stare at her lips. I didn’t have control over my body anymore and suddenly I was leaning in, crashing my lips onto hers. It wasn’t my intention for the kiss to mean something to me, but it felt like a spark set my whole body on fire. My eyes flew shut as my body was tingling. After 5 seconds it was over, but my heart still hammered in my chest.  

“You look damn beautiful tonight, babygirl.” I whispered in her ear right after we pulled apart, making her blush a deep shade of pink.

“Dan!” she whisper-screamed in surprise, getting all hot and bothered.

I felt Harry’s eyes burn into my skin as they followed my every move. He was pissed, but I had totally forgotten about him. Y/N’s name was echoing in my head and the whole room seemed to glow.

“Have I told you that I am on a rugby team?” Harry asked her as an attempt to get her attention back, but she wasn’t listening. My little kiss had left her all flustered.

When we walked back to our room I was still on cloud nine. There was a huge smile plastered all over my face and I couldn’t help but touch my lips to remind myself that I had just kissed her. But then I closed the door behind us and we were all alone.

“What the fuck, Dan?!” Y/N shouted, bringing me back to reality.

“I can’t believe you kissed me just because you wanted to be a jerk and break the rules!” she shouted.

I was completely taken aback by her words. I felt helpless as I had just fallen from cloud nine.

“That’s not why I kissed you!” I defended myself, trying to keep my voice down.

“If that’s not the reason then why did you do it?!” Y/N wanted to know, probably asking me the hardest question of my entire life.

Because I got jealous? Because I like you? Because you are damn beautiful and I’m so sorry for ever thinking otherwise?

“Harry told me that he is into you. He’s been flirting with you all evening. He is my cousin and you are my-“ I stopped myself in the middle of the sentence. ‘You are my fake girlfriend’ that’s how the sentence should have ended.

I told her everything that Harry said in the kitchen and how he always tries to be better than me. Y/N understood why I got so angry and she even understood why I kissed her, at least that’s what she thought. We got into bed next to each other. Both of us were extremely exhausted so there was no time to think about the fact that we were so close.  

“Can’t wait to meet the rest of your lovely family.” Y/N told me, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Don’t worry. Harry is the only asshole.” I assured her.

“I can’t wait to convince everyone that we’re together. I just hope you are a good actor.” She said with a grin before turning off the lights.

As I stared at the ceiling I had the slight feeling that I wouldn’t even need to act at all.

Dear feminists,

Why don’t you ever protest or campaign against honor killings, stoning, forced marriages, forced marriages of underage children, genital mutilation, and the many other issues facing women in the middle east?

Women in western society have never had it better. You van vote (your voting rights are not under attack, by the way), own property, own a business, run a business, get any job you want, get an abortion (aka murder), and pretty much do whatever you want. Women recieve lighter prison sentences. Women have more rights than men. Also, the wage gap doesn’t exist.

Women in the middle east and other third world countries do not have these rights. Women are not even allowed to drive in the middle east. A girl suffocated to death after being locked in a dilapidated shed simply for being on her period in Nepal recently. Turkey just published a book that encourages domestic violence and the beating of wives. Last year in Afghanistan, a woman was forced to marry her cousin, and she was stoned to death for running off with her true love.

Where’s your outrage for that? Why the fuck don’t you care about that? Why don’t you ever check YOUR privilege?

-Sincerely, a woman

The Vampire Diaries Preferences: First kiss

        Your pulse was off the charts, and you were so frightened that every time you tried to speak, it came out as a mere squeak of air. The Vampire slowly marching toward you was hungry, and you were his pit stop. But as he got closer you seemed to gather some more strength, and you screeched for help at the top of your lungs, hoping that someone would hear- preferably one of your other blood-sucking friends.

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You’re Not Bastian...

Anon asked: Hey! I love your blog so much! Could you do a Poe X reader with “I thought you were my friend so I slapped your ass in greeting" au? 

Author: Zoe

(A/N: Oh my god, this prompt just sounded so awkward and hilarious, I had to do it. Thank you, Anon!)

Plot Summary: All you were doing was just fixing Poe’s proton-torpedo launcher. Just a simple task for you as the Chief Engineer. What you didn’t expect, however, was the sting of someone smacking your butt while you were bent over, trying to fix a few gears from inside Poe’s X-Wing.

Warning: Light Swearing

Originally posted by fkcoolcreator

“Last one on the list, Chief. You sure you want to take this one? It’s not scheduled until tomorrow.” Aurelai, one of the mechanics, handed you the paperwork.

“It’s Dameron again. He’s becoming a regular around here, and he’s the most frequent flyer. He’s one of the priorities when he damages his ship.” You sighed, putting the paper onto a clipboard.

“Oh Y/N, you’re blushing!” Aurelai nudged you with her elbow.

“No, I’m not.” You turned away from her.

“Come on, think about it. It’s a clear, starry night tonight. You and Poe, atop his X-Wing, counting out the stars. He shuffles, turning over to you, lips ever so clo-” You shoved one of the clean rags into her face.

“That’s enough, Aurelai. Don’t you have an early shift tomorrow?” 

She sputtered out the cloth, still grinning.

“Come on, Y/N. It’s meant to be and you know it! You two clearly like eachother! Even the General says so! She’s all like, ‘How are Poe and Y/N not together yet? He and her clearly enjoy one another’s company.’” She giggled.

“Aurelai, shoo!” You yelled, a whining tone coming from you as you hid your face behind your clipboard as she skipped off to her room.

“I swear, she’s going to be the death of me.” You sighed and started your journey to Poe’s landing deck.

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anonymous asked:

one of these: drummers bang harder, singers do it louder, bassists do it deeper, guitarists finger faster. Punk!top!Phil being in a band and pastel!Dan thinks he's hot af and wears a baseball cap with one of those quotes on @ a m&g and looks bomb af

I know this is new in the inbox but LOOK AT IT I HAD TO

I changed it to a beanie and combined all because idk I’m pure sin I guess. Sorry about the song lines because I don’t know how to write that shit. It’s here anyways tho.

This got long AF and also, when Dan first meets the band at the m/g it’s not expressly shown that Dan’s consenting, so I made Phil a sweetheart who checks in a lot because guys CONSENT IS IMPORTANT

~Nothing was added because I felt it had to be~


- To say Dan’s excited is an understatement. By some miracle, he scored tickets to a concert for his favorite band, Shameless Color, and a pass for a meet and greet with the band! He’ll get to meet PJ (lead singer), Chris (bass guitar), Hazel (Electric Guitar), and Phil (drummer). Mostly, Dan is excited to meet Phil, whom he may or may not have a huge crush on. After hours of deliberation, he decides to wear his one pair of black skinny jeans, his pastel pink crop top and matching converse, and a beanie he got from the merch store, that’s also a soft shade of pink, and has in solid black text, the phrases “Singers do it louder, Drummers bang harder, Bassists get deeper, Guitarists finger faster” in four lines on it, carefully arranged so Dan’s curly fringe falls over his forehead.

- Dan gets to the concert and his seat without a problem, and loves every second of it. Towards the end, the band starts a tradition they’re famous for- each member of the band pulls someone up on stage for a song and dedicates it to them. Occasionally, they’ll let the person do something- try out the drums during a solo, strum some notes on the bass or guitar, sing the chorus… things like that. Dan has to admit he’s disappointed when Phil pulls up some screaming teenage girl and throws his arm around her, pressing a kiss to her cheek while she introduces herself. Hazel had told him to stop being a flirt, and then they played her a song.

- “Alright, so this is our last song,” PJ says to the crowd, laughing at the sounds of dissent his words are met with. “I know, I know. So, who’s the lucky one to join us on stage?” His green eyes  scan the front row, finally landing on Dan. “How about you, in the very sexy beanie from our store?” With wide eyes, Dan points to himself, mouthing ‘me?’ “Yes, you, don’t be shy. As Dan climbs up onto the stage, Hazel begins to play the opening chords of the band’s first ever recorded song, ‘With you.’ “What’s your name, pretty boy?”

- PJ passes the mic to Dan, who holds in in shaky hands. “Dan.”

- “Well, Dan, this song’s for you!” The song is loud and beautiful and soulful. Every now and then, Dan can’t help but shut his eyes and let the music surround him. Before Dan knows it, PJ is offering him the microphone again with a huge grin.. “Your time to shine, Dan.”

- “With you I see in color, I’m finally alive. If I ever could, I would be with you day and night. But most days the world spins on without us and you’re left behind. After all this time gone by- I still wanna be with you.”

- The stadium cheers, and Dan sheepishly hands the microphone back to PJ. “Stay here,” PJ whispers with a smirk, and finishes the song, thanking the crowd, finally bidding them goodnight and leading Dan backstage with the rest of the band. “Dan, let me tell you, your voice is fucking amazing. And Love-Eyes-Lester over there couldn’t stop staring at your ass. Are you coming to the meet and greet?” Slowly, Dan nods. “Great. See you there.” PJ winks and disappears, leaving Dan to be led back to the main area by a security guard.

-Dan can barely contain his excitement, but because of being backstage, is last in the M/G line. It doesn’t matter to him too much, band he passes the time tweeting and scrolling through tumblr. Eventually, Dan reaches the front, and is met with three beaming smiles and a raised eyebrow from Phil.

- “Dude, your singing is awesome,” Chris says, uncapping his silver sharpie and scribbling a signature on the folded edge of Dan’s beanie. 

- “Really, it was amazing!” Adds Hazel, taking Chris’ sharpie to put her signature on Dan’s hat as well. She then passes it to PJ, who adds his, winking at Dan, and the three of them walk away, leaving Phil, who signs Dan’s beanie last. 

- “You’ve got a nice voice,” Phil says, giving Dan an obvious once over. “It’s true, y’know.”

- “What is?” Dan asks, stumbling over his word in nerves.

- Phil smirks. “Drummers bang harder.”


- “You’re honestly too cute, and too fuckable in those jeans, pretty boy.”

-”Thanks?” Dan says softly, like it’s a question. Getting hit on by your celebrity crush is something that only happens in fanfictions.

“’sides, what’s a baby pink wearing twink like you doing at a rock concert?”

- “I like your music,” Dan defends, but instead of meeting Phil’s brilliant blue eyes, he’s staring at Phil’s lips and the moonlight glinting off of his snakebites. “What’s a hot punk drummer like you doing hitting on a fan?”

- “Touche,” Phil laughs. “Does that mean you won’t object if I invite you back to my hotel room to… spend the night?”

- “I think I’d be okay with that.”

- Phil offers his arm to Dan, and leads him to the waiting limousine, where Chris, PJ and Hazel are already waiting. “After you,” Phil says, opening the door for Dan.

- “Called it,” PJ laughs, and Hazel rolls her eyes before handing him a twenty. “Hey, Dan!”

- “Hi,” Dan says shyly, and Phil climbs into the limo as well, in what’s admittedly a tight squeeze. “Well, I guess I’ll have to sit in your lap,” Dan teases, which makes everyone laugh and- is Phil blushing?

- “C’mere,” Phil finally chuckles, pulling Dan into his lap and kissing Dan’s cheek, using it as a guise to whisper in Dan’s ear. “Can’t wait to get back to the hotel and make you fall apart beneath me, pretty boy.” Dan shivers, and Phil pauses. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If you get uncomfortable, you tell me, and we’ll just watch a movie, or I’ll make sure you get home safe, okay?”

- “Believe me, I want this,” Dan murmurs, and subtly grinds down onto Phil’s lap, earning him a quiet growl and two hands on his hips, Phil’s fingers warm on his bare skin. For a moment, Dan worries he’s gone a bit too far, but Phil leans in close and starts whispering into Dan’s ear.

- “Is this okay?” Dan whimpers and nods. “Can’t wait until we get back to the hotel, hmm? You’re just too desperate.” One of Phil’s hands slips into Dan’s skinny jeans and plays with the waistband of his boxers, making Dan’s breath hitch. The rest of the band either don’t notice or don’t care as Phil begins to trail kisses up and down Dan’s neck, dragging his lip piercings over the tender skin.

-After what feels like an eternity, the limo arrives at the hotel, and Phil literally sweeps Dan off his feet to carry him upstairs, followed by the wolf whistles from Chris, PJ, and Hazel. “Almost messed up during our last song because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you, pretty boy,” he purrs, setting Dan down to unlock the door to his room, and immediately pulling Dan inside. “Can I kiss you?” He asks.

-”Fuck yeah,” Dan breathes, and then he’s being pressed up against the door, Phil’s mouth on his, hands on Dan’s waist, and hips firmly up against Dan’s. A little unsure, Dan reaches his hands up to tangle in Phil’s hair, pulling gently to keep him close. Suddenly brave, Dan grinds into Phil, which makes both of them moan at the friction. 

- “Can I take this off?” Phil mumbles, toying with the hem of Dan’s crop top.

- Giggling, Dan takes his hands from Phil’s hair and pulls away from the kiss. “Depends. Can this come off too?” Dan raises an eyebrow as he unbuttons the top button of Phil’s shirt. Phil nods, so Dan lets Phil take off his shirt and then focuses on undoing each button of Phil’s shirt, finally pushing it off his shoulders. “You have more tattoos than I thought,” Dan says, running his fingers over the colorful images.

- “Well, I don’t normally take off my shirt for just anyone,” Phil laughs, and kisses Dan again, more passionately this time. “This would be more comfortable on the bed, you know.”

- Dan doesn’t stop kissing Phil, just pushes him toward the bed and down onto the mattress, climbing onto his lap and straddling Phil. He slowly starts to properly grind against Phil. “Lube?”

-”And condoms. Nightstand.” Dan breaks the kiss to grab them, gasping when Phil chooses a place on Dan’s neck to suck a dark hickey. “Remember, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want. Even if we’re in the middle of fucking, say the word, and I’ll stop.”

- “You’re overly cautious,” Dan says.

- Phil laughs. “Better than not at all. Can I take off these skinny jeans, pretty boy?” Dan ignores the question and gets on the floor, working at the button of Phil’s instead. “That’s not what I- oh.” The rest of Phil’s sentence is cut off with a deep moan when Dan starts mouthing at Phil through his boxers, teasing him. “Fuck, Dan c’mon,” Phil pleads half-halfheartedly, but he smirks when Dan quickly strips out of his own skinny jeans, so that now they’re both in boxers. Phil pulls Dan down to the bed and flips them over, so that he’s on top of Dan. “This okay?”

- “Yeah, yeah, stop asking, dammit,” Dan rambles, working on taking Phil’s boxers off, which makes Phil laugh.

- “Alright, alright.” He strips away Dan’s boxers and grabs the lube, coating his fingers in it. “You ready?” Dan nods, so Phil rubs his finger against Dan’s hole until he relaxes enough to slip the first finger in. Painfully slowly, Phil thrusts the one finger in and out until Dan’s whimpering and holding onto Phil’s wrist to try and get more. “Patience, pretty boy,” Phil coos, but adds another finger, scissoring Dan open and searching for that spot. He knows he finds it when Dan arches off the bed and cries out Phil’s name. After that, Phil quickly works Dan up to four fingers, and pulls away to roll on the condom and lube himself up. 

- “You’re fucking huge,” Dan says suddenly, looking up at Phil. Before he has the chance to reply, Phil can’t help but notice how fucked out Dan already looks with his neck covered in bruises, his eyes glassy, lips red and swollen, and curly hair sticking to his forehead where the beanie that’s stayed on doesn’t cover it..

- “Hands and knees for me, love,” Phil says instead of really replying. “Are you sure you want this?”

- Dan moves on the bed until he’s comfortable, and smirks. “More than anything I’ve ever been in my life.”

- Without warning, Phil starts to push in, giving Dan time to adjust every inch or so until his hips are pressed against Dan’s bum and both of them are breathless, Phil from how tight Dan is, Dan from the stretch. “Tell me when I can move, pretty boy,” Phil whispers, peppering kisses over Dan’s back and shoulders.

- After a couple of minutes, Dan says he’s ready, and Phil starts with a slow pace, gently rolling his hips, until Dan’s begging for more, harder, faster, please, Phil! Before long, Phil’s fucking Dan so hard that the headboard bangs against the wall with each thrust, the space between the sounds filled with Dan moaning and letting out a litany of things like ‘yes,’ ‘there,’ and ‘oh god.’

-”Fuck, Phil, I’m gonna-” Dan cries, and Phil leans over Dan to bite at his neck.

- “Come for me, pretty boy. Come untouched, on my cock.”

-”Phil!” Dan screams as he comes, and Phil follows moments later with loud moan, nearly collapsing on top of Dan, before having the sense to pull out and tie off the condom, chucking it in a wastebasket.

-”You go clean off, I’ll change the sheets, okay?” Phil says softly, and Dan nods, standing up and wincing before sitting back down.

-”Not happening. Guess drummers really do bang harder.”


-Mae (JFC I don’t know how to end things I’m sorry this is so shit it’s one am)

Send us your sins! Ask is also open as a safe space in this time of trouble, as is: This One and This One

Daddy Please

Iemitsu was as noisy as ever today. Tsuna was pretty sure he was being even rowdier but he didn’t think it was possible.

Reborn had picked up on it too and was using this as a method of getting Tsuna to actually spar with Iemitsu. It was amusing because even Reborn agreed that it was a pretty dick move to punch your son in the face.

The two had been going at it on the iconic cliff Tsuna had used the first time in training for the Varia battles. Iemitsu seemed to hold back a little as people gave him so much grief last time. That was fine with Tsuna as he easily worked around the blocks with techniques Reborn had shown him.

Reborn watched from a tree, his limbs hanging down from either side of the branch. He was tempted to shoot Tsuna with a Dying Will Bullet like old times sake. But he had outgrown those after the vindice battle. It had been about three years since that battle. Tsuna had yet to stop growing and becoming the leader Reborn had dreamed.

Soon enough, everything got boring for Reborn as Iemitsu still didn’t do much but dance out of the way. Reborn fired between the both of them. Tsuna fell over himself trying to get out of the way. Iemitsu just looked cautiously around them. Reborn rolled his eyes as Leon crawled back up his arms and sat in his hair. He had lost his hat sometime last night in Tsuna’s room. He couldn’t find it and he had a feeling one of the kids took it. It’d be a great excuse to beat Lambo up.

Like always, Reborn gracefully landed on the ground. He sat on his legs as he look over at Iemitsu.

“You can stop looking like that.” He said. “I’m bored. Mama is almost done supper. Let’s go home.”

Tsuna stood up and patted the dirt off his pants. “Alright. It was…Good work today, Dad.”

Iemitsu beamed and missed Reborn’s smirk.

“Piggy back me, Tsuna.” Reborn announced. He didn’t wait for an answer either as he jumped onto Tsuna’s back. It was a miracle Tsuna was even able to stay standing upright as Reborn was pure muscle mass now. And Tsuna was still a head shorter than Reborn even though he had grown almost a foot [~30 cm] over the last month.

“Why the heck are you so heavy.” Tsuna said. He strained forward before falling flat on his face.

Reborn shook his head. “Pathetic. I trained you better than this, Tsuna.”

“You have terrible training. I’m sore for weeks after one of your training sessions.” Tsuna protested.

“Because you need to be in shape. If you can beat me home, you won’t have to get another training session like that for a month.”

“Fine. As long as it gets me out of-hey!” Reborn had taken off in the middle of Tsuna’s sentence. He tried to scramble down the cliff safely but Reborn was already on the ground, in a dead sprint towards home.

At this point, Tsuna said screw it and let his arms be scraped to hell as he tried to catch up. He had no hope as he wasn’t  fast still. And he was running through the woods so there were roots galore he was tripping over.

By the time he was out of the forest, Reborn was out of sight. Iemitsu could be heard making his way back home, stepping on the branches without a care on to who heard. Tsuna didn’t pause long to wait as he scrambled through a shortcut Gokudera had shown him.

Tsuna had no clue what he expected though as he rounded the corner to his house. Reborn was balancing casually on the roof. He sat cross-legged on it, scanning the street for the bush of brown hair Tsuna owned. It was almost like a beacon and was the easiest thing about Tsuna to spot.

“What took you so long?” Reborn asked as Tsuna collapsed on the ground.

“Don’t…” Tsuna started. He couldn’t finish as he started coughing, trying to catch his breath. Reborn jumped down and sat next to him, offering him a cough drop.

“You have to work on your speed and to not flail your limbs as you run.” Reborn said critically.

“C-Can I not…have one moment of…peace?” Tsuna said.

“No, you can’t. Mama’s calling for us too.”

“When are you going to stop calling her that? You sound 25 yet speak like you’re 2.”

“I’ll speak however I please. Somebody around here has to be babied.” Reborn gave an innocent smile. “Are you excited for your laps around the town?”

Tsuna would have screamed if Iemitsu hadn’t barged in then. He overshadowed anything Tsuna was about to say with a loud, “It smells good, sweetie! What is it?”

Reborn made eye contact briefly with Tsuna and the two had to look away so they didn’t laugh in front of Iemitsu. He never liked having people laugh around him unless he was in on it.

Nana had laid out an entire feast as always. It was rare for Iemitsu to be home. Tsuna couldn’t wait for his visit to end though. There was no way he could keep up the charades of actually liking his father for more then a week.

As always, everybody was chatting as they ate. Lambo, I-Pin, and Fuuta were all chattering about school to anybody that would listen. Reborn was stealing food left and right from Tsuna even though he had his own full plate. Iemitsu was acting like he was on a honeymoon all over again with Nana. He fed her food, gushing over her cooking, and complimented her at the drop of a hat. It made Tsuna gag with every bite he took of the food.

But Nana had a habit of never tasting her cooking so everything was either full of spices or not at all. Salt was all that was needed to fix it. This was the case here.

“Dad”, Tsuna said, “Can you pass the salt?”

Both Reborn and Iemitsu reached for the salt. They locked eyes. Reborn was deadfaced as always but Iemitsu seemed to be trying to contain his anger.

Tsuna really hoped for the floor to open up. It couldn’t get any worse.

Until it did. Fuuta turned to Tsuna, the silverware lifting slightly off the table, looking him in the eye and said, “The Ranking Planet says that Reborn is the best daddy out there.”

can we just all agree that the @incorrectkhr post was a great contribution to the fandom?

edit: lmao i tagged the wrong blog whoops sory about that


Requests: thomas jefferson x reader with #39 please? ;))) - @hamletyay and 39 43 Thomas! Thomas! - anonymous

Word Count: 1155+

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Warning: None

AU: Hamiltime

Originally posted by hamiltongifs

“Good morning.” You heard a smooth voice in your ear.

You smiled and opened your eyes to see your handsome courter, Thomas Jefferson, shirtless, laying next to you.

“Good morning, my love.” You leaned up to kiss him, but the kiss was quickly cut short by the sound of someone pounding on your door.

“Y/N! We have to leave soon! The cabinet meeting starts in 30 minutes!” You heard your brother, Alexander, call from outside your room.

“Shit.” You muttered, scrambling out of bed and hurriedly putting your clothes on. “Coming!”

You looked back to see Thomas still sitting on your bed, not moving to get ready.

“Why aren’t you getting ready?” You asked, trying to keep your voice down. “You’re the one who has to be at the damn meeting.”

Thomas just laid back, putting his arms behind his head. “I’ll make it there on time, don’t worry.” He said nonchalantly.

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“It’s funnier in French.”

So last night I was browsing Pintrest and I came across this picture right?

Let’s talk about it for a minute, shall we?

At first I ignored the bit about Supernatural because I hadn’t really actually fully looked at the French sentence yet.

The joke being told is “comment s’appelle un chien vend des medicaments?”

I took French for three years in middle school then got my language credit after taking French 2 my freshman year of high school and, although I legitimately do not remember everything since the last time I studied French was about four years ago, that still gave me a basic understanding of what was being said. I ended up laughing at the joke, laughing at the Supernatural GIF which made it and even better joke than it was before, but still I kept going back to that damn joke because something just didn’t sit right with me about how it was phrased.

After a little bit of thought (and, okay, maybe some help from Google Translate) it turns out that the English translation for the word “comment” means  “how” and the word “s’appelle” means “called”. That means that both the joke in French and it’s English translation were grammatically incorrect, and so the joke actually roughly translates to:

how is called a dog that sells drugs?

Now, anybody who’s as big of a Grammar Nazi as I am (or just hates grammar errors in general) will automatically know that the joke is not written correctly. With this new information I typed the English translation into Google Translate, and here is the grammatically correct form of the joke along with it’s answer:

Qu'est-ce que vous appelez un chien qui vend de la drogue?

Un pharmachien.

Although being grammatically correct, this will not necessarily make the joke easier to understand, but I’m getting to that.

Because I am also a nerd and enjoy a good joke, I sent my girlfriend mooglekingdom13​ the newly translated version, and below is a screenshot of what she responded with.

And, since she did not understand, naturally I tried to explain it to her.

(Which, admittedly did not go well, as you will see from my texts below.)

Basically, the entire joke is a play on one single word, which just so happens to be the answer: “Un pharmachien.” There is no English translation for this because “pharmachien” isn’t actually a word at all, it’s two words, mashed together, to form the actual joke.

Take the English word “pharmacist” and take “chien”, which is also the French word for “dog”, and then just mash the words together like so:

pharmacist + chien = pharma-chien

And holy smokes there you have it, your answer and the real joke.

  • Who at a drug store sells drugs?

Your answer?  A pharmacist.

  • And if that pharmacist was a dog?

Your answer?  A pharma-chien.

It’s a word-play on “pharmacist”, they just added “chien” on the end.

D’you get it?
Or is it just funnier in French?

I found his jumper part 4|| D.H.

First Part, Second Part, Third Part

A/N: Here is part 4 of the IFHJ series. It contains a big fight that I really enjoyed to write for some reason. 

Word Count: 1.8K


“You look tired.” Hayley stated and examined me with her brown eyes that were filled with worry.

“I spent half of last night reading in the library.” I answered with a yawn as I took a seat next to her and placed my laptop on the table. I had no idea how I was going to survive a whole day filled with classes since I could barely hold my eyes open.

“Charlotte is still being a bitch then?” she asked me although the answer was clear already. Why else would I spent my night reading in the library. Being in my shared room wasn’t that fun anymore now that Charlotte hated me with passion. She would make rude remarks whenever I entered the room so I tried to be home as little as possible.

“Don’t let her and Howell get to you, Rose.” my green haired friend encouraged me while getting out some notes from her bag.

I tiredly nodded. Although I didn’t answer with a lot of enthusiasm she was of course right. Hayley would probably just walk up to them and punch them in the face. They definitely deserved that.

I wasn’t like Hayley though. She was sassy and always had strong comebacks. I just blush a lot and get intimidated easily. I had a breaking point though and when that was reached nothing could hold me back. It was only a matter of time now.

I was exhausted and relieved when I was done with my classes that day. The sun was hiding behind a bunch of clouds when I walked out of the main building. Since it wasn’t very warm outside not many people hung out on campus. There were a couple of students on their way back to their dorms like me though. Lost in thought I kicked a little stone with my foot when I heard somebody yell my name.

“Hey, Edwards!” Caleb, one of Dan’s friends, shouted, making my head snap up from the ground.

I was tempted to just keep walking, not interested in talking to him, but he jogged after me.

Caleb had light brown hair and wore a green snapback. Besides Phil he was Dan’s closest friend. He never missed one of his parties and although he wasn’t that much of a ladies man his views on women were the same as Dan’s. According to them women were here to objectify, use and treat like shit. Caleb lightly tabbed my shoulder, making me stop and turn around. He was grinning and somehow I knew that it meant nothing good.

“Yo Edwards, Dan said you should stop sending him texts. He thought you knew that it was a one time thing.” he nearly laughed at me and spoke loud enough for everybody around to hear.

People were already turning their heads and stopping in the middle of their tracks. They nosily gathered around us, greedy to hear some gossip. I just stared at Caleb and it took me a while to figure that this was another one of Dan’s stupid acts to try and make me look like the biggest loser.

“What- I-I never-” I stammered and looked around in horror. Everybody was staring at me and I couldn’t get out a single word to my defence.

“Look, honey. You are not the only girl who is into Dan. He just made the mistake to fuck you. He wouldn’t have done that if he’d known that you have feelings for him. You just need to let it go, Edwards. Dan hooks up, he doesn’t fall in love. So stop being pathetic and quit texting him.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Me? Feelings for Dan? I could have bust out laughing if the situation weren’t that uneasy and embarrassing. There were friends of Charlotte in the crowd that had formed around us and I could already tell she would find out about this soon.

I felt a couple of eyes burn into my back. Caleb was waiting for an answer since I still hadn’t said anything back. An unwanted blush crept onto my cheeks although I felt my blood boil. I pitied the girl Caleb was talking about. I was glad that it wasn’t actually me. Nobody knew that though.

“Shut the fuck up, Caleb.” I snarled and pushed him out of the way. I heard him shout something after me as I sped away from the scene he had caused. I couldn’t care less though. He didn’t deserve to be listened to. As I rushed through campus anger was blocking my vision. My feet were forcefully hitting the ground. This was it. I wasn’t taking Dan’s shit anymore. The sun was completely gone now. Big, dark clouds had taken over the sky and the first rain drops were making their way to the ground. I wasn’t prepared for rain today. I only wore  black skinny jeans and a t-shirt so I picked up my pace.  When I reached the girls dorm I didn’t stop there. Instead I stormed past it and headed towards the boys dorm. I pushed the door of the huge building open and stomped up the stairs. My loud steps were echoing though the whole stairwell. They were signalizing the trouble that Dan was going to be in soon. I only remembered his room number because of the party that I had been to on my first day here. My fists rained down onto the wooden door.

Phil tried to greet me with a smile but I forcefully shoved him out of the way.

“Who is it – oh.” Dan was in the middle of asking when he looked into my direction and saw me stand in the middle of his room, glaring at him angrily. He quickly jumped up from the couch.

“I can’t believe you Howell!” I shouted on top of my lungs.

Dan threw his hands up in defence.

“Calm down, Edwards. What are you even talking about?” he spoke unfazed.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” I growled.

If eyes could kill he would be dead by now.

The corners of his mouth twitched. He knew what I was here for but he continued to act like he had no idea.

“I can’t believe you would send one of your stupid friends instead of just lying to me face to face. You are such a coward.  You have always have been a coward, Dan. Some things just don’t change right?” I hissed and his eyes evilly twinkled. I knew that I had hit a nerve because one could now cut the tension with a knife in here.

“I don’t know how anybody could believe the crap you told Caleb. God, why the fuck would they even believe that I would ever sleep with you. You know well enough that I don’t even have your number.”

I heard Dan growl in anger. That was a hit to his big ego.

“Yeah, we both know that, but they don’t. Everybody is going to believe what Caleb said. And you can’t do anything about it Edwards.” he bellowed.

“You would be lucky if I even touched you.” Dan added angrily not getting over the fact that I would deny him that easily. His hands were turned into fists and his cheeks were flushed.

I coldly laughed at him. “You are being pathetic now.” I evilly grinned.

Dan furrowed his eyebrows together. “Why don’t you just leave, Edwards?” he scolded.

Oh no, I wasn’t done yet. I took a big step towards him. He was wearing a black jumper along with grey sweatpants. I must have interrupted his lazy afternoon.

“Why don’t you stop making up stupid lies to make my life miserable, Howell?” I counterattacked.

“I do what I want.”

“You sound like a bratty 10 year old.”

Dan rolled his eyes and gestured towards the door in return.

“I like the 10 year old Dan much more than I like the 20 year old Dan.” I spat and yet again I hit a nerve. He suddenly spun around and faced me with such horror on his face that I felt a cold shiver crawl down my spine.  

“Don’t!” he warned me, fear and threat were clear in his voice.

Speaking about the past hurt both of us, but I was willing to bring the sacrifice of hurting myself in order to hurt him.

“I could also stand drunk Dan much better than this sober Dan right here.” I stated and I knew that this was something he didn’t want to talk about. He wanted to pretend like the night he spent in my room never happened. For a second hurt was visible in his brown eyes and I knew I had found his weakness.

I swallowed hard.

“You know it’s actually sad to watch you try to do anything, even hurt me, just to hide the fact that you sneaked up to my room when you were drunk.”

My voice got a bit shaky in the middle of the sentence. I took a deep breath before I continued.

“You try so hard to forget that you apologized to me. We both know you meant it, don’t even try to deny that.”

I felt tears brim my eyes although I wanted to be as strong as Hayley would probably be.

“You do all of this shit to me because you are afraid of admitting that you said you want to go back to the times when I didn’t hate you.” I was nearly sobbing my words while Dan stood there and stared at me with the same hurt and horror that I felt. He knew that every single word I said was true.

“It hurts so much to watch you constantly destroy everything we could be. You constantly destroy your chances of forgiveness. I have started to think that you want us to hate each other just because you are scared that we could like each other again.”

I could see that he was swallowing hard. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. A tear had by now escaped my eye and I was close to completely breaking down in front of him.

“Do you know what hurts most, Dan?” I asked with a sniff and I knew that he was genuinely afraid of the answer that was going to follow.

“I wish so bad that I wouldn’t have to hate you.” I whispered. My words were followed by a loud sob. Tears were by now rolling down my cheeks. Dan’s face was now filled with panic and worry and he carefully took a step towards me just as I turned around on my heels and stormed at of his room. My vision was blurred by my tears.

You keep me sane - Theo Reaken

Hey guys, this is just something I wrote after last weeks episode, it’s not that good but I guess it’s okay and English is not my first language so sorry about the grammar and stuff. ENJOY YOUR READING!!

(Y\N)-Your name

(Y\E\C)-Your eye color

They watched hands grabbing the edge of the hole in the ground and then a whole body emerging with glowing eyes and fangs. Theo was covered in mud and dust and as soon as his eyes landed on Liam and Hayden he attacked, he was acting like an animal defending himself from a predator.

“It’s us!” Liam screamed holding Theo down and it was as if he had snapped of the trance he was in, looking terrified and alarmed about everything around him.

“Where’s (Y\N)? Where’s (Y\N)?? ”

Theo had big desperate eyes waiting impatiently, still on the ground looking at Liam who was holding him. Liam and Hayden glanced at each other uneasy; maybe Liam was right they could use Theo to find Stiles.

The both of them had agreed to take him to Scott’s house, after hearing how desperate Theo sounded while saying (Y\N)’s name, they had a little bit of compassion on the guy. Scott was not happy with Theo there, far less was Malia who attacked him as soon as he said really nice provocative words, resulting on being beat up by Malia and having a bloodied nose.

“Liam, we don’t trust him.”

“And I don’t trust him too, and after realizing he didn’t had his powers anymore we were going to send him back right away but then-“

But before Liam could finish his explanation was cut short by Haiden.

“He asked for (Y\N).”

“What?” Everyone seemed surprised about this.

“Actually as soon as he realized it was us, he asked for her.” Scott grimaced at that, he didn’t know if he could put (Y\N) through this, she was already suffering about her brother disappearance, Stiles had asked about his little sister and Scott promised to take good care of her. Theo only watched all of them talking, feeling how they didn’t want him to see her he rose up.

“Scott, I promise I’ll help, but I need to see (Y\N)…please.”

It was weird and uneasy to see Theo acting that way, with need, fear, hope, love and, mostly desperation; he had no idea if she ever wanted to see him again, he destroyed the pack, destroyed their friends, how could she face him?

Scott sighed grabbing his phone without saying a word, typed something then put it in his pocket again. Ho looked at the boy who looked at him eager.

“She’s already on her way with Lydia, but Theo one wrong word and your gone, far away from her, got it?”

He only nodded, he would do anything to see her, even if just for a few minutes, he needed this like he needed the air to breath, in hell she was the only thing on his mind, keeping him sane, keeping him the Theo only she knew, still alive.

Theo was anxious, his chemo-signals were all over the place, they were all talking about the Ghost Riders trying to ignore it as they waited her.

“hey, guys! I got your messa-“

(Y\N)’s hit the ground with a clatter, she was standing at the door, startled as she looked at the guy a few meters away, the guy who had been on her mind for the past few months and he still looked the same. The perfect chiseled face, same full lips the same warm eyes which only stayed like this for her, as Lydia had said once.

“You’re not real! Y-you can’t be, y-you were gon- y-you-“

(Y\N) kept mumbling to herself, like she was trying to reassure that it was an illusion, it was in such a low voice that even with supernatural hearing it was hard to understand. And then her heart beat started getting louder by the second and her breathing heavy, she was having a panic attack.

Before anyone could think, Theo was in front of her, grabbing her hand placing on his chest, right were his heart was, while his other hand lifted her chin making her look at him, her (Y\E\C) eyes were wide and teary, with fear and confusion; Theo inhaled her scent and beside everything happening at the moment he felt peace, like never before.

“Hey, hey, just breath, look at me, do you feel my heart?” She only nodded not able to form a sentence, not trusting her voice. “Good, take a deep breath, you’re doing great, babe.”

Everybody was just watching astonished, and Scott had a little smile, he felt her happiness in the middle of the adrenaline, he knew how she suffered, she fell in love in the bad guy, who destroyed her friends, and then, he was gone, dragged to hell by his dead sister. He better than anyone knew how was to lose a love.

(Y\N) didn’t know how to feel, he was there, right in front of her, this wasn’t one of her bad dreams, he was really there. Her breathing and heart beat was slowly returning to normal, but she was still clinging to Theo, now sniffling lightly on his shirt. He held her tighter enjoying her calming aura.

“You’re ok.” He kept whispering, reassuring her that everything was ok, and for a few minutes she felt that away, safe, like everything was really ok.

Scott ushered everybody out of the room, giving them a bit of privacy. After a few more minutes she lifted her head, looking at his greenish eyes touching his face.

“How are you here?” She asked, her voice a little hoarse, he smiled at her wiping the tears off her face.

“I needed to see you, even if you hated me, after what I did, I just want you to know that I loved you, and I still do.”

She was smiling with tears all over her face again, because she felt so guilt, but she still loved him even e=if she couldn’t, and when he was dragged to hell she thought it would be ok, that she would stop thinking about him. But love doesn’t work that way.

“I tried to hate you, I really did, because it was so wrong loving someone who destroyed everything I loves, I couldn’t sleep with this guilt inside of me, but I can’t change what I feel for you, and I can’t trust you…”

She felt her heart breaking, the scars not fully closed, being open again, because she wanted so bad to love him, but this was Theo and he was bad. He had this sad smile, like he was expecting this reaction. They were still close to each other, she was holding his hand, with fear that he would disappear.

“I can’t promise you that I changed completely, I’m too damaged to be fix, but I’m better than I was, I don’t want a pack or power I want to stay alive and for you to trust me like you once did.”


Author’s note: Sooo, ‘Spiderboy’ got 400 notes, which is absolutely insane, and you guys have been so supportive, and I’m so happy that you all enjoy my writing - anyway! Here is the second installment to ‘Spiderboy’! I think I will do a part 3, maybe even a part 4? All in due time! I will be posting some stuff for other characters though, as I feel I’ve been neglecting them, but there’s a lot more Peter Parker to come!

|| Part One ||

Peter Parker x Reader

Back at Stark Tower, you were busy helping your father design Peter’s suit. You hadn’t seen much of the boy ever since Tony had brought him back to your home - the upper floors were Nerd Heaven, and Peter was most likely spending hours marveling at the technology. You were more interested in the design aspect of your father’s work, and you’d been designing sketches for the Spiderman suit for a few days now - and you were pretty sure it was done. Your dad had noticed the attraction between you two, and had practically burst into the room every time you two were alone.

Keep reading

Insecurity | Part Three

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

notice jungkook in the background 

Genre: Angst

Pairing: it’s complicated

Word Count: 1.458

A/N: I know this is super short but I wanted to leave this ending for this chapter I HOPE YOU ENJOY

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine (The End) | Epilogue

You were laying on Yoongi’s bed, cuddling up to his blanket that still smelled like him and dozed off. He had stayed with you all night long but had headed off to work on the new album early in the morning. Leaving a soft kiss on your temple, he had whispered his I Love You’s, thinking that you were fast asleep. Yet, as soon as he had left the room, a huge smile spread on your lips and you laid back. He was so good to you, better than you deserved. His love for you was unconditional and still you couldn’t give your all to him, always having Jungkook in the back of your head. It wasn’t that you were still head over heels for him. Jungkook had broken your heart from one second to another, after 2 years of dating and you couldn’t forgive him that. He had destroyed you mercilessly but Yoongi was there to pick up your broken pieces and help you grow and love yourself again.

You rolled over and looked at the picture Yoongi had placed on his nightstand of the two of you. That day, it had been pouring outside but you two decided to go out anyway and walk around in the rain. You fooled around and got soaking wet, before Yoongi dragged you back inside, anxious that you might get sick. He took out his camera and tried to take pictures of you but your shyness wouldn’t let him, always hiding your face and showing him your back. At one point, you grabbed his hand and said he needed to join, and that’s what he did. 

Your finger softly stroke over his framed face that only had eyes for you. Your eyes sparkled and a toothy smile was stuck on your face, just like your wet hair while Yoongi’s face was tilted towards you and all his features showed his feelings for you.

Suddenly the door opened and you almost dropped the picture, grabbing it in the last second and quickly placing it back onto the nightstand.

 “Yo, Yoongi-hyung, have you seen my-”, his voice echoed through the room as he stopped in the middle of his sentence, jaw dropping and staring at you.


You slightly waved at him, irritation visible on your face as well. “Hi Jungkook.”

His face showed pure shock and you swore you saw hurt flicker in his eyes for a second but he quickly turned his gaze away. “What are you doing here? Where’s Yoongi?”

Taking a deep breath, you looked down at your hands, studded from his presence. He looked better than you remembered and you were scared you’d lose all your confidence if you looked at him for too long. 

“He’s at the studio, working on the new album”, you purposely only answered the second question, avoiding the topic that was majorly bothering Jungkook.

He nodded and his eyes wandered through the room. “You- uhm, you wouldn’t know if my headphones are in here, would you?”

You shook your head, wishing that he would just leave already. Your strong facade was starting to crumble slowly. 

“No. I mean- I don’t know..”, you stuttered out, slightly shifting in Yoongi’s bed, holding the blanket closer to your upper body. 

It wasn’t what it looked like though. You had fallen asleep with your clothes still on and you had been wearing a strapless bra. When Yoongi tugged you into bed the night before, he had undressed you carefully, leaving you in your underwear. Yet, Jungkook didn’t know that and his facial expression hardened as he saw your small gesture.

He inhaled deeply and his expression turned neutral, only his clenched fists giving his anger away. “You wouldn’t mind if I stayed for a second and made sure they’re not here, right?”

Slowly you shook your head, a soft smile faking hospitality. “Of course not, come in.”

Quickly, he came in and closed the door behind him, making you tense up. Please make this quick, you thought to yourself. His eyes landed on the picture of you and Yoongi on the nightstand, as he knelt down next to you on the floor. He grabbed the frame and frowned.

“So are you two a thing now?”, his voice was as cold as ice, yet a little bit shaky. “I didn’t know Yoongi was even interested in you.”

You didn’t know what to answer. Your mind was racing and your mouth had run dry, leaving your throat scratchy and unable to speak. He was so close to you, you could feel his heat radiating from his body. It was starting to drive you insane. 

“S- so, what do you need your headphones for?”, you asked instead, hoping to avoid any hurtful topic and just have small talk until he left again.

He shrugged and looked at you. “I made a new playlist and wanted to listen to it with IU tonight during our picnic”, his eyes scanned your expressions as you let out a shaky breath. 

“I think you should go Jungkook”, you managed to choke out and held his gaze, as he looked up, a little bit taken aback by your words.

He placed the frame back onto the nightstand, giving it one last glance before turning around and heading out of Yoongi’s room. He stopped at the door frame.  

“I remember when you used to be this happy around me”, he whispered, looking directly into your eyes before closing the door and leaving you alone.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you quickly wiped them away, taking in deep breaths like Yoongi had taught you. Yoongi. Why were you even freaking out like this when you shouldn’t be caring about Jungkook anymore? You had Yoongi, that’s all you needed. You needed to stop feeling like this because of Jungkook. You needed to stop being so vulnerable around him. You needed to stop thinking about him. You needed to stop having feelings for him.

Out of nowhere, your phone started to ring and you quickly made your way to where it was laying. Yoongi’s face lit up your screen and a soft smile automatically spread on your face, as you wiped the last tears away.

“Hey you”, you whispered into the phone, hearing a soft chuckle as a response.

“You’re awake wow (Y/N), it’s not even 8am yet”, he laughed and made you giggle. “I just wanted to check on you, how did you sleep baby?”

His still raspy morning voice sent shivers down your spine. It seemed like he hadn’t really talked to anyone yet.

“Good, thanks to your super comfortable mattress”, you grinned and let yourself fall back onto it. “I had a visitor here though a couple of minutes ago”, you confessed hesitantly.

“Are you sure it was only because of my mattress?”, you almost saw his smug smirk in front your face as he said that and you rolled your eyes. 

“I hope that visitor didn’t stay long, I don’t like it when somebody else stays in my room, especially when I’m not around”, he added grumpily.

You laughed but stopped immediately as you remembered who the visitor was. “No, he didn’t stay long. He was looking for his headphones but he left pretty fast.”

Silence answered your explanation and you practically saw Yoongi running his hands over his face in slight frustration. “It was him, wasn’t it?”, his voice was barely audible but you hummed in response, not sure if you wanted to say more.

Yoongi sighed. “Are you okay? Did he say anything?”

 You swallowed the lump that was building up in your throat, stopping new tears from falling. Yoongi cared so much, it was unbelievable. Every other boy would be freaking out right now in his situation, yet here he was, making sure you were okay.

“Yes, yes I’m okay”, you reassured him and let out a breathy chuckle. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t answer for a few seconds, making your heart start to pound faster and wonder if he had reached his final point of fighting for your love. If he was done with you and couldn’t handle your insecurity any longer. “As long as you’re fine, I’m fine as well (Y/N). All I want is for you to be happy.” 

Suddenly, you heard a door being pushed open with force through the phone, making it bang against the wall. 

“What the-”, Yoongi managed to say before an angry voice stopped him from cursing at the trespasser, making goosebumps appear all over your body and your hands starting to shake.

“Who the hell gave you permission to fuck my girlfriend?!”, you heard Jungkook scream at Yoongi, making you slap your hand in front of your mouth in shock.

The Lucky Guy

Pairings: Sam Wilson x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Scott Lang x Reader

Words: 1K

Request: Hi doll ♥ Can you do one for me where some two avengers (maybe steve and sam) asks you on a date but you refuse because you have feelings for scott? And then you tell him about your feelings and he tells you that he likes you as well? Tnx ♥ -Anonymous

A/N: This one was so much fun to write –I mean, who wouldn’t dream about all the three S’s to have feelings for you? Yeah, exactly. I’m still slightly struggling with my block so sorry if it’s abrupt in some parts, but oh well, I hope you like the fic xx

“Hey Y/N,” I heard a soft voice chuckling behind me as I was trying to reach a bowl for my cereals. I turned around and saw Sam leaning against the kitchen’s counter, smirk on his face.

“Oh- morning pigeon,” I let out a soft laughter. “Now that you are here, could you please be my Prince Charming and give me a hand with that bowl,” I flashed him my puppy face, pointing at the top shelf, “I’m too short to reach it.”

“Hey, you know I’d do anything for you,” he winked, making me roll my eyes with a laughter as he grabbed the bowl easily, handing it to me. “So, Y/N, I was just wondering if you are free ton-“

“Nope,” I shook my head, taking the bowl from his hands. “For the hundredth time, I’m not going on a date with you Sammy.”

“On a date?” He let out a nervous laughter as he waved his hand, trying to look carefree. “I wasn’t going to ask you on a date.”

“Oh is that so?” I kicked my eyebrow, pouring milk to my cereals.

“Absolutely, I-,” he started, yet his sentence got cut short by my surprised exclamation, as I felt someone’s hands on my hips.

“Need for a helping hands over here?” I heard Steve’s voice chuckling behind me. “I am supersoldier after all, doll.”

Laughing, I shook my head, before pushing Steve further from me. “Thank you, Cap, but I think I can protect myself better than well.”

“Yes, she can,” Sam notified, glaring at Steve over the counter. “We were at the middle of something here-“

“Yeah, I noticed,” Steve kicked his eyebrow, “but I have a question for Y/N before I let you finish.”

“Oh no, you don’t,” Sam shook his head with warning tune in his voice, “keep walking grandpa, she’s not interested.”

“Umm, guys?” I harrumphed, glancing at both of the men in turns, yet let out a confused sigh as they kept ignoring me.

“We talked about this, Sam,” Steve raised his eyebrows, “If she says no to me-“

“No, I was supposed to ask first,” Sam shook his head, pointing at me. “We threw the coin-“

“And I got the heads so I’m first-“

“Guys,” I called out, more demandingly.

“No, tails were the winning side-“

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” I sighed, rolling my eyes.

“What’s up with those two?” I heard a laugh coming behind me, and turned around to see Scott standing at the doorway, amused expression on his sleepy face.

“I have no idea,” I breathed out with soft laugher. “But it seems that they are fighting over me.”

“Not again,” he laughed rolling his eyes, before pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Again?” I frowned, my mouth full of cereals. “This has happened before?”

“Oh, you bet,” Scott nodded, smirking. “They are crazy for you.”

My eyes widening, I glanced at the two men, who were still arguing about the winning side of the coin.

“But I don’t-,” I frowned, rubbing my face with my hand, “oh god no.”

“Two of the coolest Avengers have a crush on you and you are staving them off?” Scott raised his eyebrow. “Wow- impressive.”

“No, it’s not like that,” I mumbled, running my fingers through my hair. “I just kind of,” I let out a nervous laughter, “I have someone else in mind, you know?”

“Oh yeah,” he laughed, squinting his eyes slightly with a smile. “So, tell me a little bit more about this lucky guy of yours.”

“Well, he’s very funny,” I felt a smile rising to my lips, “he always says something stupid in the worse situations as possible, yet I think that’s just adorable”, I glanced at him carefully, with soft laugh, “and he’s always making everyone feel good about themselves and he truly cares about the people around him.”

“Wow, sounds like a great guy,” Scott nodded with a slight frown. “But Falcon and Captain America, do you really think he’s-”

“Believe me when I say, he’s way more cooler than those two idiots,” I laughed, nipping my bottom lip between my teeth, “he just doesn’t seem to know that by himself.”

“Maybe he just needs someone to show him that,” Scott raised his eyebrow, before nodding his head determinedly, smile on his lips. “Yeah, definitely, I think you should kiss the guy. You know, next time when you see him just pull him to you and smack your lips against his.”

“Like this?” I took a deep breath before pulling him closer to me by his t-shirt and pressed my lips against his.

For my surprise, Scott kissed me back immediately. He laid his coffee cup to the counter, before laying his hands to my hips to pull me even closer to him, making the kiss deeper. Yet a loud exclamation coming from next to us made me pull away from him, bright smile on my lips.

“Tic-tac?” Sam called out, looking purely shocked. “Y/N? Seriously? Antsy?”

I shrugged, biting my lip as I glanced at brightly smiling Scott.

“Looks like we lost the game, pal,” Steve let out a confused laughter, patting Sam’s back with his hand. “Come on.”

“I kind of feel bad for them,” I grinned, turning back to Scott as Steve had dragged protesting Sam out of the kitchen.

“Wow, no one has ever said that they feel bad after kissing me,” Scott joked, making me roll my eyes with a laughter.

“No, I didn’t mean that,” I laughed, as he pulled me closer to him. “Kissing you felt,” I bit my lip, trying my best to find the right adjective. “It felt great.”

“Great?” he frowned. “Great? I was waiting for something more like mind-blowing or even fantastic, but great? Ouch.”

“Oh shut up, Scott,” I laughed, shaking my head. “Why won’t you tell me how it felt since you are such a Shakespeare?”

“Maybe I should just show you,” he chuckled, tugging my hair gently behind my ear, before pulling me into another deep yet gentle kiss.