I know better now, and so I am trying to do better. It is painful because the old ways are so comfortable but I know in my heart that pain is the only thing that will bloom if I go backwards and plant the same seeds I always did.
I want to feel the sun kiss my skin, and watch the light grow inside of me. So yes, I know better, and yes I will try to do better. I will trust that this uncomfortable feeling will fade into peace, and I will be one step closer to being free in me.
I am letting go of many things, thoughts, feelings, and people that have weighed me down until the water filled my lungs. I am learning how to breathe again without them, and it feels bittersweet but I know this is what is right for me.
I won’t explain or justify myself to anyone. I will live out my life with joy, with peace, with honesty, and I will not let anything unravel me again.
This is my story, and beautiful things will be written in each page. The light will soak into my words, and I will come alive in each chapter. No more holding back. No more pleasing you. No more making myself small to make you more. I am here, and I am going to take up space. I am going to live.
I think about you every day I sing about you every way cause you’re the perfect melody.
I know the world ain’t perfect but to me you were my everything.
My little light of sunshine I’m holdin’ on for better days.
“One day, my friend, you will be proud of your existence. Until then, promise me one thing that you will try your best, even if hell unfolds in front of you, keep on trying. Please, don’t let go. Never give up.“ –Mine