bets

someone in the chat: "Its been eight years since you’ve met Phil.“

dan: I know right??? so wholesome tbh, the love of my life, and we’re still going strong. hellow internet?? who is that ?? I only know Phil, the only man.

 some lance-centric headcanons:


• absolutely cannot hold someones hand without swinging it

• he loves watching marine animal documentaries and after seeing Black Fish he swore to never go back to Seaworld ever again

[talking to himself in front of the mirror]:

“Sometimes, I’m astounded by my sheer brilliance.”

• whenever he eats m&ms or smarties, he always has to pick out the blue ones and eat them first. always


•  [is in trouble and gets sent down to Iverson’s office]:

lance: long time no see, buddy!

Iverson: cadet, please, i have a headache —

lance: HOW ARE THE WIFE AND KIDS?

iverson [groaning]: you like tormenting me


• on one of the days it’s lance’s turn to order takeout in the family, he just goes full-out and orders a shitload of stuff:

lance: i’m thinking, like, two boxes of pizza, some chinese, a side dish of garlic knots —

one of his sisters: you sure? you’ve been looking a bit round lately lil’ bro

lance [scoffing indignantly]: more cushion for the pushin’, big sis! the dad bod is in


because he’s a good uncle™ his list of swear words include:

- hairy monkey balls!

- dogshit on a stick!

- PUKE pancakes!

• he and hunk once decided to microwave a shoe for ‘scientific purposes’

• he was that kid that jammed, like, three plastic water bottles in the back tire of his bike to make those cringey dirt bike noises whenever he rode it

• he. can’t. sit still through a movie. he has to pause occasionally and get up to stretch or get a snack or aimlessly scroll on his phone or stare blankly at the ceiling, thinking about all the homework he’s going to have to do at 3 AM

Little Mongolia: “You are SO gay.”

Little Russia: “Am not!”

Little Mongolia: “C’mon, you take ballet, you wear pink, and you bake cupcakes. You’re as gay as the moon is round.”

Little Russia: “You can’t prove it!”

Little Mongolia: “Alright, let’s make a bet. If it turns out you’re gay, you pay me fifteen bucks. If you’re not, I pay you fifteen bucks. Deal?”

Little Russia: “Deal!”

25 years later:

Russia: “You’re all invited to my wedding! Here, have an invitation!”  

Tibet: “Aw, thank you! Look Munkhbat, we’re invited!”

Mongolia: “Wait, it says Alfred as the bride.”

Russia: “And?”

Mongolia: “That means you’re gay.”

Russia: “So?”

Mongolia: “yOU OWE ME FIFTEEN BUCKS!”

Did I do it right Dean?

Kevin: I put the ace in irreplaceable.

Charlie: I put the top in unstoppable.

Sam: I put the hot in photogenic.

Dean: I put the cute in execute.

Cas: I put the D in Dean.

Charlie:

Sam:

Dean:

Cas: Did I do it right Dean?

Dean: Ca-

Kevin: DAMMIT!

Dean: *confused*

Sam: You can pay me that $20 anytime, buddy.

Charlie: And Sam you owe me $15, told ya Cas tops.

Cas:

Dean: …fuck me.

Cas: Now or-

Sam: *dies laughing*

Dean: SAMMY!

Billy: Welp, time to make it impossible for him to come back.

Dean: Bring him Back!

Billy: No.

Dean: NOW!

Billy: Who tops?

Dean: Why does that-

Charlie: Cas does.

Billy: *sighs* Only ‘cause he owes me money.

Dean: ANYONE ELSE MAKE ANY BETS I SHOULD NOW BE AWARE OF?!

Charlie:

Kevin:

Billy:

Cas:

Bobby: *comes down from Heaven* I wasn’t gonna bring it up but-

Dean: Wha- Who did you make the deal with?

Bobby:

Dean:

Bobby: Sam.

Dean: About???

Bobby: I didn’t make the deal with you, you don’t need to know.

Billy: *Brings Sam back*

Bobby: Sam, money.

Sam: I know I made the deal with you but, come on Bobby, what do you even need money for in heaven?

Bobby: *shrugs* I don’t know, but what do you need it for?

Sam: Uh, food.

Bobby: What? Did your fake credit card expire?

Cas: I’m sorry Dean.

Dean: Cas, I-it’s fine.

Charlie: Yeah, I’m sure you’ll find a way to pay him back later *winks*.

Dean:

Cas:

Bobby:

Kevin:

Billy:

Sam: …She’s not wrong. We all know it’s true.

Cas:

Dean:

Kevin:

Bobby:

Billy:

Dean: I need alcohol.

But...

Word Count: 614  
Requested?: No    

       "I’m sorry.” He said, not seeming to actually mean the words but he felt as if he had to say them. “But… you said that you loved me.” She said with tears streaming down her cheeks, wondering why the boy she loved would do this to her. She loved him, and she thought he loved her back. She could have sworn he loved her. 

      “What can I say? I never actually loved you, it’s always been her.” He shrugged as if it were no big deal. “Who is she, Jug?” She asked not wanting to know but had an inkling as to whom. He hesitated for just moment, “Betty.

      She knew it, she just knew that it was her. Y/N’s heart broke even more, if that was even possible. Y/N stumbled back a little. “I’m-” he started. “Don’t say anything.” She choked on her breath and couldn’t seem to find her breath. 

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