Blue Valentine.

So I finally watched and finished Blue Valentine. It was SO good. but I swear to you, it is one of the saddest movies I’ve ever seen. They cut in between present day and the days where they met up to the day they got married. I couldn’t help but smile and want what they had in their prime. It was happy, filled with love, they supported each other, and then right as everything would be great, they cut back to the present day where She loses all feelings for him. It really makes you think a little harder on love. Like what if for the first five years everything is great! you got a little 3 year old kid running around and life is happy and stuff. and then after those five years you look at each other and everything is gone…for reasons you don’t know. It scares me to think about that. I mean I’m going into a relationship with a girl I’ve been chasing for a few months. I like her a lot. I know she likes me back, it’s obvious if you see us together or if you see the amounts of text messages between the two of us. but I know that I personally want this to go somewhere. Watching Blue Valentine kind of makes me want to try even harder to keep what I’ve got, keep on trying and never letting her go. It makes me want to push past that 5 year crap. I know that the whole dating process is for things like this and making sure you’ve got it right, but anyone can change in the blink of an eye, and it’s scary. With this girl that I like a lot, she is truly one of my Best friends. I can and have told her pretty much everything. All of my mistakes and faults and fears. She doesn’t judge me for what I’ve done, like everyone else  does. She doesn’t think of me as a failure, like I do sometimes. To her I am the sweetest guy she’s ever met, and I spoil her. She see’s past my flaws and she see’s past my failure. So I know that we have something special here. I know that what we have is what I’ve been waiting for. I know that I don’t want to hurt her or ruin anything. So I’m afraid that I will mess things up and I’m afraid that one day, one of us will just change and things could just end. I’m scared because I don’t want to lose my best friend…I don’t want to lose who I love and care for deeply. I want to be able to see the changes as they are progressing or digressing. I want to be able to keep things in check and communicate. That was a big reason on why Dean and Cindy (Blue Valentine) got their divorce, there was no Communication so it blew up in their faces. I don’t want that. I can communicate things pretty well most of the time as can she so I don’t think that that is a problem. I guess I’m just afraid of loss….but then again, who isn’t? People feel in many different ways. Some through touch, some through words. Some even through gifts or pictures. I know that Distance away makes my feelings stronger. I know that the physical touch of our hands interlacing or her laying her head on my chest, being able to hear my heart beat, that makes my connection grow stronger and more fond. I feel like the reason why distance makes me feel more is  because I crave that physical touch of our hands or her head. I miss it and yearn for it. The feeling of her arms wrapped around me and her in my embrace, I feel like I need to do anything I can to protect this precious life, like it’s my own…like if i dropped it then the world would turn to dust and smoldering ash. So I hold and treasure this life so dearly. I’ve never been able to put this feeling into words until now. She asked me once how I knew it was love…well here is the answer in this lengthy paragraph. This is how I know it is love and not just a feeling or a likening. It’s so much more. It’s a life, a potential, it’s a love, it could be a family at some point, there is so much that it is, that nothing in life compares to this simple feeling, to this bond, this connection between two people. It’s unity and it’s peace and tranquility. It is good. Everything God creates “Is Good.”

Awesome. O.o!

So upon seeing The Dark Knight Rises and loving Anne Hathaway’s performance as Catwoman, I watched it again and saw her facial expression this time and studied her face a little more, only to discover the love of my life, my forever girl, my girlfriend, looks like her and does the same facial expressions. It’s pretty great.

Night Time Conversation.

Girl: “I am cold and I want you.”

Boy: “I am warm and I want you too. Nothing would be more perfect.”

Girl: “I’m cold and sick and tired and sore and I just want you and tea and sleep.”

Boy: “I could help with 2-3 of those.”

Girl: “You could help me with all of those.”

Boy: “Even the tea?”

Girl: “You could make me tea.”

Boy: “Oh. That is true. :) which I would do in a heart beat.”

Girl: “:))”

Boy: “If I were there, I would easily do everything that you need for you in that same heart beat.”
Girl: “:))))” (Notice the amount of parentheses, That means she got even more happy. and probably got bashful and put her face on her arms or in her hands.) 

Boy: “You’d be asleep in a heart beat! :D” (<—see what I did there?) 

This was a conversation at night on the 16th of May, 2012. I like her a lot. She is my forever girl! :D and she is the greatest most beautifullest Girl everrrr