bet-they-banged

Fixing things around the Haus was never really about the dibs for Dex. But, all the same, in the back of his mind he was still relying on his efforts in that department to secure him housing for his junior year at Samwell.

Which is why he’s a little surprised at himself for the sinking feeling in his gut when he’s officially offered a spot.

“Oh,” he replies dumbly.

Lardo blinks at him, clearly startled by his lack of enthusiasm, her hand still held out between them waiting for him to reach out and seal the deal.

Dex shakes his head and reaches his own hand out belatedly. Only to have Lardo pull back. “Bro. I’m not gonna give it to you if you don’t really want it.”

“No, no, I do! I promise I do. I’m sorry, I just thought…”

He thought that he’d be getting either Ransom or Holster’s dibs. And that Nursey would be getting the other’s. And, despite the fact that Dex has been dreading the very idea of that for the entire school year, he feels off kilter and lost now trying to imagine a scenario in which he lives at the Haus without Nursey constantly underfoot.

Even these past two years of living in the dorms, Nursey still always somehow manages to end up at the Haus whenever Dex does, stealing the last slice of pie while verbally needling at sore spots he knows well enough will get a rise out of his fellow D-man.

It seemed pointless to even hope that getting dibs wouldn’t somehow include Nursey at his side, and so Dex never bothered to factor in the possibility. He resigned himself to his fate. And now, presented with an alternative, he has no idea what to think.

“Do you, uh,” he clears his throat, watching Lardo’s eyes narrow at him, assessing. “Do you know who Rans and Holster are giving theirs to?”

“They’re giving them to Nursey, bro.”

“Right. But to Nursey and…?

“Just Nursey.” She shrugs. “Those bunkbeds don’t even have a ladder anymore, so we figured we’d turn the attic back into a single for now. And we thought we’d do you all a solid by making sure the SMH didn’t lose it’s next best D-man pair due to mutual homicide within the first week of preseason by making you shack up together. We’ve all seen how you two handle sharing a hotel room on roadies.”

To be fair, how they handle it nowadays is wildly different from the roughhousing mess of their first semester at Samwell. But apparently no one’s noticed that.

Dex goes abruptly still as a thought occurs to him that feels like a bucket of ice water over his head. “Wait. Was this Nurse’s idea?”

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Explosions - Arthur Shelby

Request: Hey can you do a quick fic arthur x reader fic where some of tommys enemies know that that one building is going to explode and they kidnap the reader and put you in their and the next day arthur hears that you are stuck in there and he goes crazy looking for you and he finds you super hurt but alive and fluff????? Pleeewaaaasee 

Request: Here’s an idea for a fic when there was that huge explosion some of the Shelby’s enemies found out ahead of time and kidnapped you and stuck you in the building and then when the Shelbys found out it was too late but Arthur finds you barely alive in the building and he saves you?? Please and thank you veryy muchh! 

Explosions - Arthur Shelby

It was race day. That was all you remembered. That it was race day and Thomas Shelby, the brother of your boss, had told you to tend to the Garrison while they were off at the tracks. You agreed, unsure what would’ve happened if you hadn’t agreed. No doubt you would have refused only to feel bad that Arthur wasn’t making money on his most important day of the week and agreed to do it.  

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hi i spent my entire afternoon browsing through your au prompts and saving pretty much all of them for future reference. i thought it was only fair i gave something back as a thank you, so i wrote some lists. i hope they’re helpful! i’ll write them all in here but feel free to make separate posts for them or let me know and i’ll write them separately

EXPECTANT PARENTS AUS

  • “i’m due in two weeks and we don’t have a single diaper i know it’s 3am but i need to get everything we need because no, we can’t keep a baby in the dog bed”
  • “hi i know you’re across the world in a business trip but our surrogate went into labor a week early so long story short you’re coming home to a baby i can’t do this alone get your ass in a plane”
  • “we’re at the er in the middle of the night wearing pajamas and scared as hell because our baby hasn’t moved in days oh the baby is just asleep? okay sorry broke your pen i’m just a really worried parent to be”
  • “i know it’s a weird craving but i want pickles ice cream i don’t care where you find it just GET IT also put bananas on it and chocolate chips”
  • “yes it is too early to install a car seat i’m only ten weeks pregnant”
  • “i’ve read seventeen books about pregnancy and i’m constantly worried about every single thing every book warned about but also trying to remain calm”
  • “i used to drink five cups of coffee before i got pregnant and now i’m going through withdrawal and i’ll slice your head in three if you give me that decaf crap again this is all your fault”
  • “hey honey you’re home i spent the last eight hours watching birth videos and i know i’m eight months pregnant but i changed my mind i’m not doing that birth thing no way”

PARENTS WITH NEWBORNS AUS

  • “i know you hate my mom but i touched our newborn’s soft spot and it freaked me out so she’s moving in until the kid can walk and talk get used to it”
  • “i had no idea something so tiny could poop so much and oh shit, you have poop on your cheek and jesus christ how did it end up on my knee”
  • “you need to stop holding your child like it’s a time bomb whAT ARE YOU DOING SUPPORT THE NECK YOU DIMWIT”
  • “we went a overboard on the newborn clothes but our child was born too big for them and now we have nothing that fits them”
  • “we’re so sleep deprived we bathed, changed and fed our child’s teddy bear while it slept soundly for the first time in almost a month”
  • “our pediatritian fired us after calling them at 2am claiming our child had measles when it was just a diaper rash”
  • “you saw me napping with our newborn in my arms and started yelling about safety and how i could crash them in my sleep now the baby is crying and i’m crying and we both feel like terrible parents/partners”
  • “i caught you staring at our baby’s crib like they’re the love of your like and making sure they slept soundly now we’re both cuddling on the floor beside the crib looking at the beautiful little thing we made”
  • “we both have hundreds of videos of our newborn making accidental spit bubbles and no one cares but we’ll show it to literally everyone”
  • “i know they’re only ten days old but we need to look into good preschools already i’m serious”
  • “i left you alone with the baby for four hours and you dressed them in formal wear while you wear only a tshirt and underwear what HAPPENED here”

POLITICS AU

  • “you’re a really unpopular senator and i’m a journalist determined to make your life hell but fuck you’re cute when you stutter and did i said that out loud?”
  • “you’re the only barista at the coffee shop near my office that is working at 6am so you get to hear my undercaffeinated ranting about how much politics suck and oh shit sorry yes i am your governor i should not have said that”
  • “i’m the new governor’s bodyguard and holy shit no one told me they’re smoking hot”
  • “i’m the first openly gay president and all the republicans are Losing It including my parents-in-law which are the ones making this even more awkward by going on tv saying i corrupted their daughter/son”
  • “i’m a secret service agent having an illicit affair with the president of the united states i deserve another shot even if i’m saying these things to the entire bar”
  • “we’re both running for the same government position and things become so heated between us during debates people are starting to bet on when we’re gonna bang”
  • “we’re old buddies from law school and i helped you with your campaign and we fell in love but you’re married and about to become president wtf we do”
  • the good wife au
  • scandal au
  • “i think it’s really cute you come to the bookstore to work on your campaigning but shouldn’t you have a staff for that oh yes i can help”
Words Hurt

Requested by Anon

Trigger Warnings: Fat shamming, self esteem issues 

The old saying that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words could never hurt me was a total lie. Words could hurt and break you worse then sticks and stones. At last broken bones and bruises heal.

The damage words cause, stay with you forever. My dad broke me at an early age. “Fat ugly cow! No man will ever want you!” “God you’re disgusting! Why can’t you be thin like you’re sister?” 

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anonymous asked:

AWw I love your texts! <3 Could you do MikaSasha, where Mikasa is depressed because she's gotten into a serious argument with Eren/whoever, and she tries to make herself feel better by taking care of Sasha (by asking her if she's hungry / bringing her food / something like that). Sasha, of course, is delighted and going to take full advantage of this, but she's also going to take care of Mikasa and find out what's really going on.

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POLITICS AU

submitted by @sassymajesty

  • “you’re a really unpopular senator and i’m a journalist determined to make your life hell but fuck you’re cute when you stutter and did i said that out loud?”
  • “you’re the only barista at the coffee shop near my office that is working at 6am so you get to hear my undercaffeinated ranting about how much politics suck and oh shit sorry yes i am your governor i should not have said that”
  • “i’m the new governor’s bodyguard and holy shit no one told me they’re smoking hot”
  • “i’m the first openly gay president and all the republicans are Losing It including my parents-in-law which are the ones making this even more awkward by going on tv saying i corrupted their daughter/son”
  • “i’m a secret service agent having an illicit affair with the president of the united states i deserve another shot even if i’m saying these things to the entire bar”
  • “we’re both running for the same government position and things become so heated between us during debates people are starting to bet on when we’re gonna bang”
  • “we’re old buddies from law school and i helped you with your campaign and we fell in love but you’re married and about to become president wtf we do”
  • the good wife au
  • scandal au
  • “i think it’s really cute you come to the bookstore to work on your campaigning but shouldn’t you have a staff for that oh yes i can help”

anonymous asked:

Omg that scene at school at the lockers WHEN THAT LOOK THAT LYDIA GAVE STILES is all like yes I want to bang you and I bet they did and will when she is helping with his dorm room ;) haha dorm sex

I BET THEY BANGED THAT NIGHT like i would literally bet my life that stiles and lydia went home together the night they kissed THEYVE BEEN SEPERATED FOR 3 MONTHS AND THEY JUST ADMITTED THEIR FEELINGS NO WAY THEY DIDNT and wow all the hotels theyre gonna have to hit on the way to dc and lydias gonna be staying in his dorm why cant we just have a spinoff about their trip to dc????????? 

anonymous asked:

BRUHHHH (little rant ) The people commenting stupid stuff on Camilla's latest post. Stuff like , "lol honey your gay what are you doing, bet shes getting banged by all of them, why is this so straight, they better get away". LIKE ARE Y'ALL THAT IMMATURE TO COMMENT STUFF LIKE THAT.Let her live her life. And there was no need to comment stuff about Camren on the post you just look stupid. Also stop assuming her sexuality. If someone posted an article outing her you'd flip but you do it every day.

What? Damn that’s just foul. This is why I don’t stay long on Twitter or read ig comments. To go out of your way to comment shit like that is just disgusting.

We can all have our delusional party here on tumblr, analyzing shit, but for people to actually post assumptions on her social media, and blatantly disrespect her is the very reason why Camila (and the girls) have been hurting for a long time.

But sadly, there will always be people like that… 😔

anonymous asked:

lol for sleepover saturday so maybe this is hyper-personal but I used to be in a relationship with this guy that at one point had a 67 impala that looked exactly like Dean's and you bet your ass we banged in there so now I can't read dean smut w/o thinking abt it but we broke off on good terms so it's all good

DAYUM GIRL HIGH FIVE!

Originally posted by yazzydream