bestest human

i’m attracted to scars, even acne scars; I’m attracted to bodies - like landscapes - wild, and a little unruly. I like textures and delicious complexities. I like scents - like the forest winds, rainstorms, and even the salty, warm breeze of a seaside. I fall hard for awkwardness and odd little habits/quirks. & beautiful bone structures. oh anyway - & this is irrelevant but my Pisces queen just referred to this kinda ‘famous’ dude who is a friend of a friend - as my man - in the most casual way possible whilst telling me about something random about him working on some kind of project with one of our mutual friend. He’s not ‘my man’ (lol he’s too perfect. &/but he doesn’t even read existentialist literature, so we really won’t vibe. lol i know it), but the fact that I told her that he’s fucking good-looking (like maybe a couple years ago) & the fact that she remembers it forever after that melts my heart a little bit. i love my Pisces darlings because I can confide in them my dreams and they won’t think I’m crazy or ‘aiming too high’; I also really appreciate their sentimental nature (it’s not like a possessive please-fucking-love-me-or-every-inch-of-me-will-hurt-in-the-name-of-you Leo, or the i-don’t-know-what-i’m-doing-but-i-love-you-like-crazy Virgo, or the I-love-you-forever-and-ever-please-give-me-constant-reassurance Taurus, or the hey-you’re-a-Sag-too?-I-love-you-already-now-let’s-kill-each-other-slowly Sagittarius, or the let’s-follow-this-schedule-of-loving-each-other-and-please-don’t-break-any-rules Capricorn) that oddly makes me (someone who hates romantic/cheesy whatever) comfy. Like Libras, they’ll be the least likely to give up on us wild, hard-to-handle Sagittarius psychos. 

OMG u guys r the bestest, sweetest, most adorable human beings ever!!
Can’t believe I’m at 600, no idea why any of u follow me, but thank you!

To celebrate I’m gonna try and do some headcanons, along with finishing the Bones smut I’ve been writing, so feel free to send in some asks; I have no idea if I’ll be any good thou.
I can do Star Trek (only seem pas thou), LotR, and GoT


look at my favourite human being making the best out of taylor’s song AGAIN

Tears of a Human

Number 26 is finally here!  This is the second part to Kiss of Life (the mermaid au)  It was actually really difficult to write this, but I managed to fight it out and put it up.  I hope you guys enjoy!

Last time: Silent Downpour

The human language was hard to learn.  

He had taken quite a few years of it when he was in school, but most humans communicated through sound instead of movement and it was hard for Mark to differentiate one jumbled sound from another.

Eventually, after his third year, Mark had a pretty firm knowledge on at least one human language, their culture, and their habits. Enough to communicate if something went horribly wrong.

And it did.

He woke up lying on his back, covered in something warm, and his head was cradled in something soft.  

Mark had to think back to human studies to figure out what is was, his mind was a bit fuzzy from the tendrils of pain that rippled through every nerve, but eventually, he came to the word ‘bed’.

He was lying in a bed, covered in a blanket, and his head was on a pillow.

Deciding he needed to get a grip on his surroundings, he rolled onto his side to try and push himself into a sitting position.  His arms weren’t yet used to the way gravity worked above water and he struggled a bit to push his remarkably heavy torso up.

After working to sit up, he placed his hands flat in front of him to keep himself balance.  That’s when he noticed a few things about himself.

First, his midsection was covered in some sort of cloth.  It covered some of what humans thought were more intimate places and Mark blushed as he wondered who had cleaned all of the blood and gore and dressed him.

Secondly, and most importantly, he had toes.  Real, honest, human toes and feet and legs.  

Balancing himself with his left arm, he reached out and touched his knee with his fingertips, just grazing the skin to make sure that it wasn’t all just some horrible dream.

His heart ached and he was startled to feel water on his face.  

He looked up and around, curious to where the water was coming from.

While he was distracting himself with the new wonder around him, in through the door came the human he had given up his entire life for.

The boy, the one with the green hair, froze in place at the sight of Mark sitting up in bed, leaning precariously on one arm and with a hand on his own knee.

“Hello.” The boy spoke slowly as if Mark was going to dart away from him at any moment.

Not that Mark could actually get anywhere, he couldn’t even sit up properly.

The boy moved closer, inching toward a helpless and silent Mark.  His hands were held out in front of him in a peaceful gesture until he got close.  He eased forward and placed a hand on Mark’s forehead.  

“Your fever is gone, but why are you crying?”

Fever? Crying?  Those were human words and Mark wracked his brain to figure out what they mean.

Fever was what sick humans had right?  They got really warm and couldn’t breathe properly and their bodies ached when they were ill.

Mark was in a lot of pain, but it was rapidly decreasing and he didn’t feel warm in the slightest.  

So, what was crying?

“Can you even understand me? Are you even real?  I may be hallucinating.  I’m probably dead and dreaming of hot mermen saving me.”

Heat rushed to Mark’s face, but this he recognized as a blush, this weird human had just called him attractive.  

With the hand that was previously on his knee, Mark reached out and grasped a part of the cloth covering Jack’s body.  

Clothes.  Humans called them clothes and they wore them no matter what.  Humans were never naked unless they were cleaning themselves.  

Mark was never so grateful to have taken all those years of human studies in his life.

Gripping the cloth in his fist so he wouldn’t fall, he brought the other hand up to his face and touched at the water there.  Did this have to do with crying? He looked up at the boy and gave him a confused look.

“Have you never cried before?  I guess you might have, but you would have been underwater, no tears right?”  


Ah!  Mark could remember that now!  Salty water dripped from the eyes of humans when they were sad or over excited or happy.  It was a way of expressing emotion.  

He was sad.  Upset about losing his legs and his life.  Everything he ever knew and loved was long gone and he would never get it back.

The boy with green hair fumbled in his pocked for a moment before offering Mark a white cloth that was separate from his clothes.  

When Mark did nothing but stare at the boy, he reached with the cloth to wipe the ‘tears’ from Mark’s face.

“You need some rest. You went through something obviously horrible, but you can tell me about it later, if you even speak English.  I doubt it, you don’t even know what crying is.” Jack gently pushed Mark down onto the bed, tucking the blanket around Mark in a way that was clearly nervous.  “My name is Jack, by the way.  If you can understand me, that is.”

Jack.  He had saved this Jack’s life, and in turn, this human boy would have to help him recreate his own.

Wasn’t it customary to give your own name when someone tells you theirs?

Mark had always used a name in his human studies class that he adored and he thought suit him very well. He decided that this would be the best name to give himself, since he was already familiar with it.

He tried to get the sound out as clear as possible.  It was horribly mushed and his voice was weak and straining from lack of use, but he forced the quiet name through his lips.

Jack jerked his head in his direction, “What did you just say?”

Mark would have to be more clear if he ever wanted to get anywhere.  He steeled himself and considered how the words should come out before he actually said them.  Slowly and very quietly, he repeated himself with a strained breath.

“Name. Mark.”

“Mark? Your name is Mark?”

Mark nodded and Jack’s smile could light the deepest depths of the ocean.

“Well, now that I know that you know some English, we have a lot to talk about buddy.  But for now, sleep, rest.  We can talk when I’m not worried that you’ll start mutating again.”

Mark didn’t know what a few of those words meant, but he got the gist of it.  He smiled at the man who was obviously caring for him and cuddled deeper into the warm comfort of the bed.  He let himself drift off into dreamland to the sight of Jack smiling at him.

i smell like poop

EDIT:  i think i left my account open on theo’s laptop so lord knows what’s going to be on here for the foreseeable future.  

EDIT:  (  from the bestest human ever  ),  get my name right u bitch.


“There is a certain amount of disorientation [with exorbitant wealth]. You can’t relate to having more money than you ever imagined or even know how to spend or invest. It’s absolutely luxury, I know that. But I don’t think I’ve let it affect the way I live or change how I think. I still live pretty much like a nomad in going from one film shoot to another. I don’t collect sports cars or have ambitions to own my own private jet. Making a lot of money has enabled me to help some of my closest friends pay off debts, mortgages, things like that.“