best-wife

Some Belated Valentines 2k17 Highlights from Flower Land

- The giant Russian man who stormed through the door while we were quite busy and shouted “Whoooo is helping me? I need BEST FLOWERS in the WORLD because I have BEST WIFE!!”
- The old man who picked up his roses at 8 AM and when I said “I hope she likes them!” giggled and said “These oughta keep me outta the dog house for at least a week!”
- At 3 PM: “I need a delivery of tulips to the south side today.” “We aren’t doing any more deliveries to the south side today.” “I should tell you that this is on behalf of my client {Redacted Football Player} of The Bears and he is willing to pay literally anything.”
- “Hey, boss, I have an order from FootballPlayer of The Bears and he is willing to pay literally anything.” “Don’t you mean FootballPlayer of The Bears FOR NOW?”
-“Okay tell him we’ll do it but he has to buy all our remaining tulips.”
- One guy wanted to buy a teddy bear holding a real rose so I made a teeny tiny rose bouquet for the bear to hold and it is easily the cutest thing I have ever made.
- This same guy grabbed a 55 dollar
arrangement from my table and brought it to me and said “Add flowers to this until it is 200 dollars.”
- Valentine’s Day makes some men crazy.
- When the last man came in to pick up his arrangement twenty minutes after we were supposed to close everyone who was working shouted his name in unison and it was Hilarious.
- All the parents sending flowers to their single professional daughters. Almost all of them made me teary. People from all over the country have daughters who live in Chicago and are single and they all wanted to send their single Chicago daughters flowers.
- “A man is calling and he says you are his best friend?” “What?” “He has an Eastern European accent?” “OH! It’s the man who has the best wife!”
- “I would like 100 roses.” “That will be 600 dollars.” “I would like 12 roses.”

Griffin: “Lately, people have sort of delighted in posting pictures of me as a child and talking about how they are cursed? Please don’t say pictures of me as a 5 year old, a 10 year old, a 15 year old are cursed? I was just doing my best out there!”

 Griffin’s wife, Rachel: “He was very cute!" 

 Griffin: "No I wasn’t in a lot of them! But that’s fine, I still have FEELINGS! ‘Who’s this ugly kid? Cursed image!’ Come on!”

-Griffin in the newest rosebuddies

What'd I Miss ??

Alexander: wow my life is going GREAT right now! I can’t believe I have the best wife in the world, a free country, Washington on my side and my beautiful children!

Thomas: *jaws theme*

All I can think about right now is that

at the beginning of Philosopher’s Stone, Hagrid talks about the bike he travelled on being given to him by Sirius, and in Prisoner of Azkaban (I think) he also says that he comforted Sirius when he was crying about James and Lily being dead at Godric’s Hollow.

So whatever you do, don’t think about Sirius arriving at Godric’s Hollow to visit his best friends and godson, all happy and cheerful.

Don’t think about him walking into the house and finding his best friend - his brother - laying dead in the hallway.

Don’t think about him then finding his best friend’s wife laying in front of the crib that his godson is sitting in.

Don’t think about Sirius grabbing ahold of Harry and clinging onto him, tears falling down his cheeks whilst Harry giggles, thinking it’s all a game.

Don’t think about Hagrid turning up at that exact moment, finding Sirius sobbing over his friends’ dead bodies.

Don’t think about Hagrid comforting poor Sirius as he clings onto the half giant and the small messy haired baby that resembles James so much.

Don’t think about Hagrid having to tell Sirius that he’s been sent to take his godson away from him.

Don’t think about Sirius arguing, fighting for his godson to stay with, though he knows it’s a long shot because everyone thinks he was the Potters’ secret keeper.

Don’t think about Sirius losing hope, and offering his bike to Hagrid to get Harry to a safer place, because he knows he won’t be using it for the unforeseeable future, and he knows that Harry will be safer wherever Dumbledore places him.

Don’t think about Sirius crying as he watches Hagrid take his godson away from Godric’s Hollow.

Whatever you do, don’t do it.

So the amazing @mendedhope kept all the kids today at home so I could go out by myself and have a break.

And I kind of…don’t know what to do with myself? Where are my tentacle babies? I’m not holding a tiny human while another climbs on me? There’s no spit-up on my shirt? (To be honest there probably is but I can’t SEE any.)

It’s beyond nice, but also…SO STRANGE.

Things Pierre Bezukhov does in the first 50 pages of War and Peace
  • Snubs an old woman
  • Alienates his social superiors with his enthusiasm for Napoleon (who is kinda the enemy right now)
  • Takes a stranger’s hat by mistake and just stands there fiddling with it
  • Gets flustered trying to comfort his best friend’s wife and tells her “Calm yourself. Good-bye.”
  • Makes two conflicting promises to two different friends
  • Philosophizes his way out of responsibility
  • Casually pulls the frame out of a window with his bare hands
  • Witnesses a reckless bet involving a bottle rum and a third-story window and goes “Cool. I’m gonna try that.”
  • Waltzes with a live bear
  • Gets thrown out of Petersburg