best-of-friends

Best Friend Starters!

{Text}: Go to bed and stop texting me. This isn’t the intended use of emojis.

“Hey, I read about this super illegal thing and I think we should do it.” 

“GET DOWN FROM THERE BEFORE I HAVE TO COME GET YOU!” 

“Do you think foods have feelings? Maybe that gumball I dropped today was sad I didn’t eat him…”

“No, we can’t buy five hundred pugs.” 

“What do you mean I’m too loud? It’s not like I’m SHOUTING IN YOUR EAR!” 

“If I go down you’re coming with me! This is a mutual effort!” 

“I’m not picking your drunk ass up at three in the morning anymore.” 

“Stop coming into my house to sleep on my couch! Someday you’re going to find the door locked.” 

“Oof, get off! You’re too heavy!” 

“I honestly think you belong in a cell, but again, I guess we’d be cellmates.” 

“Now who the fuck took my skittles? It was you, wasn’t it, you smug little-” 

“Somehow I don’t think the teacher believed our story about the sword wielding elves breaking the window…” 

“BUDDY SYSTEM IS IMPORTANT, YOU MIGHT GET LOST! NOW GIMME YOUR HAND.” 

“I don’t care if you didn’t wanna share, it’s mine now!” 

“YOU ARE A DICK. Also I’m at your door, let me in.” 

“C’mon, smile…I’ll tickle you if I have to!” 

“You’re sad. Don’t lie to me. I see the pouty thing you do.” 

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?” 

“You can’t even reach me to hit me, shortie-OW!!” 

i did it omg