The hot weather in January and the start of February totally threw me off! I don’t have a gym membership so I can’t run around the block when it’s 42 degrees C (107 F) at the risk of heat stroke! 🔥🔥🔥 Totally makes you feel like doing nothing.
MY WEEKLY STUDY TIPS
WHAT I WISH I’D KNOWN BEFORE UNIVERSITY STUDY TIPS SERIES
22/10/16 this was a really happy day, I travelled to meet my best friend at her uni and we went out for sushi at one of those rotating sushi bars, then she introduced me to some of her flat mates and we climbed over a wall to this derelict hotel and and climbed it’s 11 storeys and from the top we had the most beautiful view of the city. It was all hazy and beautiful as the trees were turning orange and red and the sun was beginning to set. It was the happiest I have been in a long, long time. X
Summary: You and your best friend Taehyung have recently got into the same
university in the capital of Seoul. Hoping that this was your year to finally
admit your romantic feelings towards your said best friend, uni seems an
exciting prospect. But of course, the future never really goes according to
A couple of weeks passed, and before you knew it, lectures
were starting and you had to make the daily commute to the university. It was
strange to see so many people in different years interacting, as you had become
accustomed to your high school never mixing class levels. However, you were
looking forward to not having to intensely study or take extra classes like you
used to, as the pressure from your parents was now gone, and freedom was
Clearly, I’m not the
only one who’s taking advantage of the independence, you thought to
yourself, as you spied a group of girls standing in a huddle, all wearing heels
and makeup. Eventually, after wandering around one of the buildings you found
the right classroom for your last lecture of the day. You scanned the crowds,
slightly thankful that Taehyung had decided to go for orange hair, as it meant
that you didn’t have to stand there long looking for him amongst the other
Both majoring in the same subject, it was nice to have your
best friend with you in such a foreign setting, although you were doing
different minors, yours about the Korean language. Although you were quite
confident with your current ability, you wanted proof on paper that you were more
than capable of speaking Korean. The last thing you wanted was a repeat of that
one job interview you had a few years back.
Sitting down next to Taehyung, you gave him a small smile
before pulling out your books, ignoring his questioning glances.
Unfortunately, Taehyung doesn’t like to be ignored. “Yah,
Y/N! Why haven’t you been answering my texts? There’s a new film out which I
really wanted to see with you, but you didn’t reply. We haven’t spoken in
weeks! Are you annoyed with me?”
The short answer was yes, you were annoyed with Taehyung. With
his happy-go-lucky persona, he sometimes failed to notice when you were ticked
off. Sometimes it wasn’t all bad, as all you needed was time to cool off and
sort out your head, and you could return to Taehyung with no feelings hurt.
However, sitting next to him before the lecturer arrived, you found it hard to
pretend that you weren’t upset. Taehyung had been sucking as a friend ever
since he met Yeji, but until that point, he hadn’t noticed that anything was
“Y/N? Please talk to me,” he asked quietly, his voice growing
more serious. “You’re not being your usual self, and you’re only like this when
“I’m frustrated,” you replied, through gritted teeth,
finally turning to face his way but keeping your expression blank. “You’re
struggling to keep your promises recently. It just… gets to me.”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung said straightaway, his eyes full of remorse
as he hunched his shoulders. “If this is about Yeji…”
“We’ll talk after class.” The lecturer tapped on her desk,
signalling that she wanted to begin, so you opened your books and pretended to
be extremely interested on the word she was writing on the chalkboard.
You could feel Taehyung shifting beside you, clearly
uncomfortable at how the conversation had ended. Your heart was beating a
little faster than usual, since you hated making Taehyung worried. He was still
your best friend, after all, and seeing him bite the inside of his mouth and
jiggle his leg out of the corner of your eye reaffirmed the fact that he was
getting upset, too.
While your teacher was still talking, Taehyung leaned closer
and whispered in your ear, tickling the hairs on the back of your neck and
sending warm shivers down your spine. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”
Swallowing painfully at the distress behind his words, you
nodded in reply, still focusing on the board in front of you. Looking at
Taehyung would only make you want to reach out and hug him close, but you
needed to sort this problem through with him first. Although to others it may
have seemed like a small misunderstanding, you felt like it was important to do
something before your friendship was damaged.
After a while, you became fully immersed in the lecture,
scribbling down notes as the teacher, Ms. Han, rambled on seemingly without
breath. So immersed, that you barely noticed the hand that lay around your
wrist, until Taehyung began rubbing his thumb against the material of your
jumper. Suddenly, you could barely hear what Ms. Han was saying, and instead
you became very aware of how Taehyung kept his head over his paper, his left-hand
scrawling across the page and his right hand continuing to hold the top of your
hand in comfort. It was a simple action, something that shouldn’t have made you
feel weak and shaken. Taehyung had done this many times before, either sat on
the sofa during your film nights, or falling asleep at the back of a car on a
But it was different now. Taehyung was with Yeji, and you
were supposed to be ignoring him. So, you withdrew your hand, shoving it into
your pocket. You saw Taehyung pause for a second, his pale orange hair flopping
over his eyes with his tongue peeping out in concentration, but then he continued
to write again.
After that, you found it impossible to think of anything
It was the day of the
Suneung – the exam you had been working towards through all of high school. If
you did well, you would be accepted into your chosen university in Seoul.
Although your parents weren’t too fussed about which university you got in to,
you knew Taehyung’s parents were keen for their son to do well.
However, despite this,
you felt the pressure of the big exam hanging over you as you and Taehyung
walked towards the exam hall, watching the rows and rows of desks get ever
closer. Your friend’s face was pale, and you were aware of your dark eyebags
that had formed from the sleepless nights due to stress.
“Good luck, Tae,” you
muttered, trying to calm yourself down.
“Good luck,” Taehyung
echoed. “We’ve got this.”
You felt Taehyung’s
hand wrap around yours, and without hesitation you held his hand back, gripping
each other’s fingers as if your lives depended on it. Although it was more of a
terrified reaction, you couldn’t help feeling reassured from Taehyung’s touch.
Knowing that the both of you were in this together made a lot of difference to
your nerves. You were a team, and you were going to give that exam your best
Other students brushed
by, but you fixated on Taehyung’s even breathing as he stood beside you, trying
to mimic the steady rise and fall of his chest to calm yourself down. Despite
only being a few inches shorter than him, Taehyung turned your head and lifted
your chin so you were looking at him, his eyes flickering between yours.
“No matter what
happens, you worked hard,” he said sincerely, voice deep.
He looked at you as if
you were alone together, with all the students around you invisible – and you
stared back, unintentionally doing the same. “You too, Taehyung. I’m proud of
toothlessly, his lips stretching across his cheeks. Simultaneously, you both
turned back to look at the exam hall, your hands still locked together. He
rubbed his thumb along the back of your hand as the invigilators called the
students in, reminding everyone that no mobile phones were allowed inside the
hall. You held on to Taehyung until you stepped through the door, right up
until the last second.
Filing out of the classroom, you waited for Taehyung to
catch up in the corridor. The hallway was almost empty by the time Taehyung
appeared, still stuffing books in his bag. There was a definite tension hanging
over the both of you, which was presumably the reason why Taehyung cut straight
to the chase, approaching you with a subdued posture.
“What’s wrong? Why are you annoyed with me?” There was a distress
behind his words, causing to guilt rip through your heart like slashes.
However, you were unable to form your words, not wanting to hurt Taehyung or be
“Because…” you said eventually, “you haven’t spent much time
with me since we got here.” Realising how childish that must have sounded, you
rambled on. “Every time we hang out, you leave me to be with Yeji. I know she’s
your girlfriend now, but I thought we were going to try to keep in contact?
We’ve been through a lot, Tae, so I don’t understand why things have to
“What do you mean, leaving you?”
“At the park, the party, the cupcake shop? I even came to
your house to talk to you and you went upstairs.” Was he really that clueless?
“Why didn’t you say anything? I thought you were happy for
You sighed, exasperated. “Of course I am, Taehyung. But
lately I never get to see you. It annoyed me, so I needed some space before I
spoke to you again.”
Taehyung’s nostrils flared, a sign that he was getting
upset. He turned his head away, eyes down and his Adam’s apple bobbing. It
accentuated his jawline, which did not help the situation.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise,” he said quietly, his
deep-toned voice unwavering. “I guess I was getting caught up. It’s all
happening so quickly that I barely had time to think. I was planning to ring
you that day, because I felt bad for leaving you at the cake shop by yourself,
but Yeji asked me out when we were at the park and I completely forgot about everything
The news that Yeji asked Taehyung out came as a shock, but
you kept your expression indifferent and stayed silent.
“I get why you’re frustrated,” he continued, finally turning
to meet your eyes, his dark brown irises captivating your attention. “I’ll try
harder to be a better friend to you, I swear.”
“You’re an idiot, Kim Taehyung,” you said, only
Although his mouth didn’t move, you could see his eyes
smiling as he knew his grovelling was working. “Do you want to hang out? I’m
free for the rest of today.”
“I can’t. I’m meeting Jungkook.”
There was a flash of surprise across Taehyung’s face,
blinking rapidly at this new information with his mouth agape. “Jungkook?” he
asked, slightly astounded.
“Mmm,” you hummed, deliberately not expanding further as you
enjoyed watching the dumbfounded boy.
“So… this meeting with Jungkook… you can’t even squeeze in a
You thought for a moment. “I guess I could…”
“I want to talk this through properly. You’re right, we
haven’t seen much of each other-”
Both of you swivelled round to the source of the question,
but the sinking feeling in your chest already told you who had come down the
corridor. As Yeji strode forward, Taehyung jumped back, putting more distance
between you. It was a subtle move, but it made you wonder if Yeji got jealous
about Taehyung hanging out with you, just like you got jealous of Yeji.
“Tae, where were you? You were supposed to meet us out
front.” She reached Taehyung’s side and linked her arm through his. When he
stared at her blankly, she raised her eyebrows. “My friend’s birthday party?
Did you not remember?”
You weren’t listening. She
called him Tae. It smarted you slightly, hearing the nickname leave her red
lips. It’s not like you gave him that nickname, but apart from yours and his
family, you were the only one that didn’t call him Taehyung.
“Come on, we’re going to be late. Sorry again, Y/N. I don’t
mean to be rude.” Arm in arm, Yeji pulled Taehyung away.
“Tae, what about-”
“Next time, Y/N,” he called over his shoulder.
If there was one word to describe how you felt, it would be
livid. Just as you were about to sort out your problems, Taehyung left. He glanced
back at you as he went through double doors, his eyes full of regret, and full
of apologies that you didn’t want to hear.
“1, 2, 3, 4,” counted Jungkook, watching you do a
complicated spin jump and landing neatly to move straight into another position.
You spun your arms round and kicked your feet out to the rhythm, ending on a
“Nice,” said Jungkook chirpily, while you panted from the
effort. “You’ve got a lot of power in your moves, although you tend to be a bit
stompy. I know it’s an active routine, but you’ve got to maintain fluidity
throughout. Once more?”
Nodding in reply, Jungkook reset the music to the beginning
and this time he joined in. You’d been at this for hours now, learning the
first part of the dance routine Jungkook had choreographed. The shirt you wore
was damp with sweat and your chest heaved, but you kept up the fast pace that
Jungkook managed to set, despite him looking hot and tired himself. He seemed
to have endless energy as he rolled his body and slid his feet across the
floor, which wasn’t surprising as the tank top he wore displayed defined
muscles up his arms and across his back.
You watched yourselves in the mirrors of the dance room that
Hoseok and Yoongi had showed you, a small sense of pride setting in as you
remained perfectly in sync. However, you noticed that once you reached the
jump-spin, Jungkook moved more swiftly and naturally into the next position,
whereas you looked jerky and unclean.
“That was good,” he said, once you both finished.
“Don’t lie,” you puffed, “I fell behind on the timing on the
Jungkook threw you a towel from a pile by the wall, wrapping
one round his neck. “Don’t worry, it’s just because I know the dance better
than you.” It was supposed to be words of comfort, but instead you found
yourself getting upset.
“I wasn’t doing it right,” you insisted. “Let’s do it
Jungkook frowned, walking up to you and placing a hand on
your shoulder. His chocolate-brown hair was plastered to his forehead and his
chest gleamed with sweat, but he must’ve still had energy as he pulled you down
against one of the walls until you were sitting side-by-side.
“What’s wrong?” he asked gently. It was the same thing
Taehyung had asked earlier after your lecture, but Jungkook’s voice was less
deep and had a certain mystic quality about it.
You shook your head, but Jungkook pressed on. “Is it to do
Hugging your legs, you tried to find the best way to explain
the situation without making you want to burst out in tears. “It’s not that
exciting,” you smiled ruefully. “He’s got… another friend that he prioritises,
and I’m being pushed away as a result.”
“You’re angry with him,” Jungkook stated. When you frowned
in confusion, he added, “You’ve been distracted this whole time. When you
dance, you’re acting like you’re trying to fight something rather than just letting
go and moving to the music. Aish, I’m sounding like Namjoon,” he laughed.
“Speaking of whom, is it true that you like Taehyung?”
“What?” you gasped, whipping your head round so fast that your
neck almost cramped. “How did Namjoon-?”
“Jin and Namjoon could apparently ‘just tell’, and when I knew
they were keeping a secret, I forced them to tell me. I can be pretty
persuasive.” He wiggled his eyebrows, earning a small smile from you. “So, go
on. When did you start liking Taehyung? How long have you been friends again?”
There was something about Jungkook that you knew you could
trust. Perhaps it was his age, as after being nosey, you’d found out that
Jungkook was also in his first year of college, whereas Namjoon and Jin were in
their second. Hoseok and Yoongi, too, were a year older, so talking to Jungkook
about your thoughts felt more natural.
“I moved to Korea when I was 12,” you began, starting to
reminisce, “which meant that I was starting middle school. Back home, I’d
already been in middle school for a year, so I didn’t expect there to be much
difference between here and there. But the schools here are unbelievably
stricter and education is practically cherished, so I didn’t know how much I
would struggle. To help me fit in, my parents placed me in mixed-gender school,
and that’s where I met Taehyung.
“My Korean was bad at this point, and I could only just
understand what people were saying. But Tae… he didn’t care about my lack of
communication. He did more than enough talking, for the both of us, actually.
He looked after me, helped me with my homework, and when we reached high school
and we worked from the early hours of the morning to late at night, he made
sure I ate well and took sufficient breaks.” Sighing, you looked down at your
lap. “He was always more than a best friend to me. He’s… special.”
It felt good to let it out. After so long of suppressing
your feelings, sharing your thoughts to Jungkook made your body feel ten times
lighter, despite the annoyance that still resonated in you from Taehyung’s
sudden departure earlier on.
“He’s special all right,” Jungkook chuckled, resting his
head on the wall. “But the Taehyung I know wouldn’t push you away. Granted, I
haven’t known him long, but he worships you. It’s always ‘Y/N loves this’ or ‘I
did this with Y/N’. Even now he’s dating Yeji, you’re still talked about every
You and Jungkook continued to talk for a while, discussing
anything and everything. Usually you would never talk this long to anybody
except Taehyung, but once Jungkook got started, he didn’t stop. The
conversation was only interrupted by a beep
from Jungkook’s phone.
“Aish, I almost forgot,” he said, standing up hurriedly.
“We’re supposed to be helping Jin cook tonight.”
“Oh, okay. Sorry we didn’t practice that much.”
“No, no, it was my fault. I’d better go.” He started shoving
his spare clothes into his bag, but he paused while holding aloft his sport
shoes. “Hey, Y/N? Why don’t you join us for dinner? It’s seafood night.”
You thought about it for a moment. “Will Taehyung be there?”
you asked nonchalantly, but it was obvious why you brought him up.
“He said something a few days back about a party, so I don’t
“Seafood sounds great.”
It had begun to rain by the time you reached Taehyung’s
house, going from a clear night to a heavy downpour in just a few minutes.
Bursting through the door, you and Jungkook stood in the entrance, soaking wet
and noses dripping. Although you were sodden to the bone, you both laughed at
your misfortune and began stripping off your jumpers and shoes.
“Did you have a nice swim?” Namjoon called from the sofa,
where he was curled under a blanket.
“Rub it in, why don’t you,” laughed Jungkook, throwing a wet
sock at Namjoon and causing the older boy to yell. “Jin, Y/N’s having dinner
Jin appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, drying up a
glass. “That’s cool. Okay, everyone to the kitchen!”
As you did as you were told, Jungkook decided to chase
Namjoon around the room, holding his arms open to give Namjoon a very wet hug.
“Stay away from me you animal!” he cried, looking slightly
terrified as Jungkook effortlessly ran him down and jumped on his back.
Entering the kitchen laughing, you rolled up your sleeves ready to get stuck
However, your smile faded as you saw your best friend seated
at the island in the middle, chopping vegetables absentmindedly. Taehyung
looked up and made eye contact with you, your bodies freezing simultaneously.
The laughter from Jungkook also died as he saw Taehyung, sliding off Namjoon’s
back and pulling his shirt straight.
You didn’t know how to react. There was still the anger
inside you from earlier, which was further fuelled by Taehyung looking back
down at the chopping board and continuing to slice onions, not even saying
hello. However, Jin, unaware that there was anything wrong, gave out instructions
to the remaining three of you.
“… Finally, Y/N, I want you cut up the fish,” said Jin,
handing you a chopping board and a knife. “Sit next to Taehyung and keep out
the way of the cooker. It’s going to get hot.”
Jin pulled out the chair next to Taehyung, so you had no
choice but to plonk yourself down, your body heavy. Taehyung’s eyes were
darting between your hands and his, as if he was scared how you were going to
Clearing your throat to break the silence, you asked, “So,
what happened to that party?”
“Didn’t feel like going,” Taehyung replied, sniffing from
the fumes of the onions.
“Ah,” was all you could manage. You didn’t know what to say
to him. Although you still wanted to sort out your issues, you weren’t sure how
to bring up the subject with Taehyung avoiding eye contact and Namjoon, Jin,
and Jungkook standing nearby.
Looking at Jungkook for help was no use, as he only gave you
an apologetic smile in return, leaving you even more unsure as to how to handle
the situation. Sighing, you turned to cut the fillets of fish laid out in front
of you, but as you reached for the knife, Taehyung lay his hand on top of
His eyes were watering from the onions, but the look he gave
you was sincere. “I know saying sorry isn’t enough anymore,” he explained
quietly, just about audible above the sizzling of the pans. “Which is why I
didn’t go to the party. I was planning to come see you after dinner and prove
to you that I do care for you, and I really didn’t mean to push you away like
that. It was wrong of me, I see that. Can we try again? I promise I’ll make it
up to you – I really promise. My promises have been pretty empty recently, but
can you trust me on this one?”
There was a silence following his words in which you both
stared at each other, trying to figure out what the other was thinking with
only the sounds of the other boys talking and laughing to keep you company. It
didn’t really take much for you to forgive Taehyung; more than anything, you
just wanted things to return to how they were before moving to Seoul. But was
Sure, you could forgive Taehyung, but it would mean that more
lies would be told just so that you wouldn’t ruin the relationship he had with
Yeji. It would mean hiding your feelings for a little while longer. Ignoring
Taehyung meant that you weren’t in danger of revealing too much, but it also
meant that you felt incredibly lonely. And you missed him.
There was a loud yell and a burst of orange from behind
Taehyung, cutting off your words. Namjoon had somehow managed to create a burst
of fire on the gas hob, causing him to scream and jump backwards, sending the
pan he was holding clattering to the floor. Although it seemed quite dramatic
in Namjoon’s eyes, the rest of you burst into floods of laughter as he stared
at the cooker with wide eyes, clearly traumatised.
“Namjoon,” Jin said, wiping a tear from his eye after you’d
all calmed down, “go sit this one out. You’re a fire hazard.”
After Namjoon had meekly left the kitchen, you all returned
to your jobs, but you noticed how the tension between you and Taehyung had
lifted, despite not openly stating your acceptance of his apology. Instead, you
smiled at him to show that no grudges were being held, and Taehyung’s face
split into his usual rectangular grin.
“Let’s pretend this never happened,” you muttered, unable to
keep yourself from looking pleased.
“What never happened?” butted in Jin, his eyes on stalks as
he stuck his head between you, purposefully being nosey.
Thankfully, Taehyung leapt into telling you a story about
Namjoon and the ‘shower incident’, disregarding Jin’s inquisitive looks, and
gratefully, you listened. There was no better feeling than to makeup after an
argument with your best friend.
The rest of the night continued the same way, Jungkook
laughing at the retellings of Namjoon’s misfortunes while Namjoon tried, and
failed, to defend his case. You and Taehyung joked around like old times, and
soon the night flashed by. The meal, mainly cooked by Jin, was delicious, and
afterwards you all sat on the sofas and chatted well into the evening, too full
to do much else.
You only became aware of how close Taehyung was sitting when
his head dropped onto your shoulder, eyes drooping shut and his breathing
becoming deeper and steadier. Having his fragile body cradled so close to yours
gave your heart a bitter-sweet relief from the constant string pulling it was
used to. Namjoon wiggled his eyebrows when he saw how snuggled up Taehyung was,
and you childishly stuck out your tongue in his direction.
“What? You two are cute,” he argued, feigning offence.
“He’s got a girlfriend,” you hissed, trying not to wake him.
“It doesn’t mean anything.”
But you couldn’t help wishing it did.
It was peaceful, sitting there with your friends, both old
and new. Jungkook was keeping everyone entertained by doing imitations, with
Jin’s laugh making it harder for Namjoon to draw breath. Subconsciously, you
stroked Taehyung’s hair as he slept deeper, his arm draped across your lap.
After a long day, it was a calming atmosphere.
The rain continued to pour as you decided it was your time to
leave. However, as you began shrugging on your coat, Jin appeared at your side,
holding up his car keys.
The roads were dark and quiet, the rain making the city
lights misty through the blurred windscreen. Jin tapped on the steering wheel
as he drove, quietly singing a song to himself. He had good voice, you noticed.
Strong, yet sweet.
“How are you keeping that a secret from him?” Jin asked
suddenly, eyes still focused on the road.
“What do you mean?”
“That you like him. It can’t be easy for you, pretending.”
You laughed, but it sounded odd to your ears so you stopped
quickly. Of course it wasn’t easy, but
when it came to Taehyung, you were willing to put feelings aside to let him be
“Do you love him?” Jin pressed, after you didn’t answer his
“As a friend, yes.”
“But are you in
love with him?”
Spinning your body round, you turned to face him, his
handsome features outlined by the street lamps outside. “Why all the questions?”
Jin just smiled gently, slowly shrugging his broad
shoulders. “I’m your sunbae, right? Therefore, as my hubae, you’re going to
need my advice. But you need to answer my questions so I can actually give you advice.”
To humour him, you thought deeply about what your true
feelings about Taehyung were. The butterfly nest in your stomach, the jelly
legs, the heart rate increase – wasn’t that all just infatuation? Surely it was
just a crush?
But then there were the daydreams about Taehyung, the urge
to hold his hand, the content feeling in your chest whenever he sat slightly
too close to you on the couch. The feeling of…
You opened your mouth to tell Jin just as he pulled up
outside your house. “I’ll walk you up the steps,” he said, completely unaware
of your reeling thoughts.
He used his coat as an umbrella for the both of you,
splashing your way to the front door, but you hardly noticed the water seeping
through your shoes.
“I know of the no boy rule in your house, so I’ll leave you
here. Night, Y/N.”
Bowing in farewell, Jin turned to leave, heading back into
the downpour. You watched him begin walking, but he stopped at the bottom of
the stairs, wheeling round to look at you standing motionlessly under the
“I know you love him,” he said matter-of-factly, a cheeky
grin on his lips. “Your expression when I mentioned the word ‘love’ was
priceless. One bit of advice: if you don’t want Taehyung to find out, work on
your acting skills.” Then, he was gone.
And you were left with that single realisation: you were in love.
Okay so it just hit me that we’re basically only having clinics this year, which means no lectures!!1!!1!!1!! Boy am I excited, I just have to get the hang of clinics! I’m going to study the last 3 years and totally ace this by the time I get to orals in November! Suddenly this year seems so much lighter and happier!
Summary: You and your best friend Taehyung have recently got into the same
university in the capital of Seoul. Hoping that this was your year to finally
admit your romantic feelings towards your said best friend, uni seems an
exciting prospect. But of course, the future never really goes according to
A/N: thank you for all the support you’ve given me so far! nicest fandom to be in tbh
Tae [9:45] cupcake shop. Be there at 10. I’VE GOT NEWS!!!!
Tae [10:01] make that quarter past. Jin trapped me in the bathroom.
It was the morning after you had seen Taehyung kissing Yeji
at the party, and with that image still fresh in your mind, you could already
guess what Taehyung’s ‘big news’ was. It was surprising how quickly Taehyung
wanted to discuss the situation, but then again, there had never been any
secrets between you two.
Well, all except the one where you had a small crush on your
best friend. Almost no secrets.
It took you five minutes to work up the courage to go into
the main living area of your house, worried about meeting one of the girls on
the way. You couldn’t deal with any more lectures about saving electricity or
keeping the noise down, as you had enough on your plate as it was. Did those girls even understand what a tough
time you’d been having?
Making your way out of your room cautiously, you paused as
you spotted a girl sitting at the table in the kitchen area. Normally you would’ve
made a quick exit, seeing as your housemates weren’t exactly the friendliest
bunch. However, this girl you’d never seen before. Her short black hair was
divided into two ponytails on each side of her head, and her pyjamas were pink
and covered in teddy bears, making her very innocent-looking.
At this moment, the girl looked up and caught sight of you,
her face lighting up. “Y/N!” she called out happily, standing up and giving you
a bow. “Glad to finally meet you! Heard so many good things from Jiwon and
Yeona; feels like I know you already!”
You stood there in silence, your eyes wide open in
“Wait… do you even know me?” she questioned, before breaking
into fits of laughter, her hair flopping about like crazy. “I’m so sorry, I
forgot to introduce myself! I’m Mijung.” When you still didn’t reply, she
added, “I live here also.”
“Oh,” was all you could manage, giving Mijung a weak smile.
“Nice to meet you too.”
“Don’t tell me the others haven’t mentioned me? Yah, what
have I told them about being polite? I bet they’ve been grumpy too. Had a lot
of problems, so I’ve been told. But they seem to like you, so they can’t have
been too bad!”
You almost choked on your own saliva. “I’m sorry?” you
spluttered. “They like me?”
Mijung nodded, her face frowning. “Haven’t they been very
nice?” You didn’t reply, but your silence was enough confirmation. Mijung
sighed, clutching her forehead as if she had a headache. “Yeona’s been having
money problems. Her father lost his job so she’s probably very stressed, the
poor thing. And Jiwon, she’s retaking exams and her parents aren’t happy about
it. Those two not the most outgoing people to begin with, but I hope they
haven’t been giving you too much trouble. I’ll have a word with them, don’t you
worry. Then we can have a group meal this evening, get you some proper
Turning around, she went to the fridge and pulled out some
more breakfast, adding to the pile she already had on the table. She was still
talking, but quieter this time, as if she was talking to herself. “Those girls…
they never do what I ask…”
Deciding it was best to be off, you left to meet Taehyung, immediately
noticing how much happier you felt knowing at least one of your housemates
wasn’t completely rude. You felt slightly guilty for judging Yeona and Jiwon so
quickly, as you didn’t even think that they could be going through complications
too. It explained a lot about their
complaints. Got to stop thinking about
yourself, Y/N, you thought firmly. No
more wallowing in self-pity.
With that in mind, you strolled down the street with a new
heart, brushing the one that had crumbled so easily the night before under the
You [10:09] just met the last one of my housemates. imagine you after you’ve had three
cups of coffee – that sums her up. 10:20 okay?
Tae [10:10] I’m not afraid of competition. I’ve drunk two cups already and I can feel
it in my bones
Tae [10:10] Hurry up though, because I will eat your cupcake. The coconut and mango
You [10:11] I’M COMING
The cupcake shop was fast becoming one of your favourite
places to be: set on the corner of a street, the wall of windows soaked up the
sunshine of early spring. Small tables were set up in rows opposite the tills
and cupcakes in the glass display, with soft brown chairs pulled up at each
one. Taehyung was sat in one of those chairs in the far corner, hugging a
zig-zag patterned cushion and staring out the window.
You took a moment to watch him, with his carrot-top hair
already fading into pastel orange, his soft eyes half-closed as he basked in
the warmth of the sun’s rays. As you sat down opposite him, a smile split
across his face, making his eyes sparkle. You swallowed forcefully, feeling the
familiar flip of your stomach. Diverting your gaze from Taehyung’s relaxed
figure, you peered at the huge cupcakes sitting in front of you.
“I see slight abrasions on the icing.”
“That was the person at the counter when they were putting
it on the tray,” Taehyung shot back, his voice calm like he had planned his
You narrowed your eyes at him, but you were looking forward
to eating too much to ask any more questions. Taking a huge bite of your cake,
you smiled at Taehyung sweetly, fully aware you were giving him a pretty
disgusting sight. Laughing, Taehyung did the same, covering his mouth with
icing in the process.
“Hey, Y/N, do you like my beard?” asked Taehyung cheekily,
smearing the icing down his chin.
“You look like an old man,” you teased. “Oh, Master
Taehyung, teach me some words of wisdom.”
A naughty glint appeared in Taehyung’s eye. “I’ll show you,
if you like.” Before you knew what was happening, Taehyung had shoved your
cupcake straight into the middle of your face.
Spitting out bits of icing and wiping your stinging eyes,
you heard Taehyung break down in fits of laughter, wiping his chin clean with a
“That was evil!” you cried, doing your best to wipe off the
icing before it grew sticky. Meanwhile, Taehyung now lay sideways on his chair,
tears forming as his laughs grew silent. “Taehyung!”
“Your face!” he cackled, throwing his head back as a new
wave of laughs hit him.
“I look disgusting! Tae, has it all gone?” you asked,
desperately grabbing napkins.
Once he had regained his composure, Taehyung looked back at
you, scanning your face. “Almost.” Reaching across the table, you felt his
thumb sweep your bottom lip, then your hairline, then the corner of your eye.
Each time you felt his touch your breath hitched, and your hands started to
wobble. His expression grew solemn as he concentrated on gently brushing your skin.
“All gone,” Taehyung said, your cheeks beginning to burn.
He remained completely oblivious to the internal meltdown
you were having, and instead steamrolled on in his usual fashion. “So anyway,
That brought your mood down. “Yeah,” you replied, knowing
that there was no enthusiasm in your words. “Your news.”
“Remember how I found Yeji in the club yesterday? Well, I
said hi to her again and she actually remembered my name! Remember when she
called me Taemin? Anyway, then I asked her…”
You began to zone out as his words made the butterflies in
your stomach turn into stones. The atmosphere had been so nice until Taehyung had brought up Yeji. Not that it was his fault,
of course. He had every right to be happy that he got with his high school
crush, seeing as he didn’t know how you felt towards him. When it was just you
and Taehyung, you realised, it made you calm in a way that you couldn’t quite understand.
He was comfort, and it gave you peace. But now, he was invested in another
girl. Would you ever get that same comfort again?
“Y/N? Are you even here?” Taehyung asked, snapping his
fingers in front of your face.
Shaking yourself back to the present, you tried to remember
what Taehyung was talking about. Ahh,
yes. Yeji. “So, you kissed her. Well done.”
“Ye- wait, what? How did you know?”
You blinked. “Uhh… just assumed, I guess,” you lied. The
last thing you wanted was for Taehyung to know that you saw his intimate
moment, or that you went home without mentioning it. Too many questions, not
enough answers. One thing was for sure: you wanted
to be happy for Taehyung. He was always pining for a girl he couldn’t have,
or turning girls down because his parents wouldn’t approve. After seeing him in
his darkest of days, you knew what a girl like Yeji could do for his
“I think she wants to meet up later. Can’t believe this is
finally happening,” said Taehyung, staring at your hands that you lay casually on
Soon after the words left his mouth, you heard a
high-pitched squeal and a ‘Taehyungie’ come from behind you. You barely looked round
before Yeji swept past in a perfume-scented blur to hug Taehyung.
Not that you were embarrassed by the affection, but more worried that it would
come across as rude to stare, you looked at the view of the street, trying to
even out your breathing. Overnight they’ve
gone from bowing to hugging. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw
Taehyung glance over Yeji’s shoulder in your direction, but you determinedly kept
your head turned, despite there being nothing at all interesting outside to
“Sorry, Taehyung, are you busy?” Yeji asked, suddenly
noticing you sat on the opposite side of the table. “You’re his best friend,
You nodded, finally turning back to meet Yeji’s large,
innocent eyes. She gave you a soft smile, bowing her head slightly as you did
the same. The tension in the air was growing thicker by second, and you could
see Taehyung biting his lip as the awkwardness settled upon the three of you.
Normally, you would’ve tried to break the silence, but there was nothing you
wanted to say to Taehyung or Yeji.
She cleared her throat. “Shall I go?”
“No, no, no,” said Taehyung quickly, grabbing her wrist. “We
were just finishing. Did you want to go to the park?” When Yeji nodded happily,
Taehyung stood up to leave and shrugged on his coat. “I’ll see you later, Y/N!
I’ll text you.”
Then they were gone, and you were left sitting by yourself in
an almost empty shop after your best friend left you again for the same girl. What’s more, you could still feel the
sticky residue of the cake icing around your face, making you feel even worse.
It only took a minute for Yeji to walk in and ruin your good morning.
You didn’t want to go home just yet; although the appearance
of Mijung slightly improved the housemate situation, the thought of moping
around all day wasn’t appealing. So, you continued to sit in the cupcake shop,
staring at the empty chair that Taehyung had filled only moments previously.
You were only pulled out of your statue-like state when two
boys, a little older than you, both squished onto the brown seat opposite.
Looking up at them in confusion, you realised that they were the two people
working behind the counter, as both wore aprons across their black uniforms. They
had light brown hair that flopped across their forehead, toned muscles, and
concerned looks on their faces.
“Are you okay?” asked the smaller one of the two, his
doe-shaped eyes filled with worry. “I’ve never seen anyone so sad in a cupcake
The other boy let out a sound of frustration, sucking air in
through his teeth to restrain himself from saying anything to his friend. “We
just thought you looked down. Can we do anything for you?”
You shook your head, looking down at your lap as you felt your
eyes brimming with tears. Hearing the uneasiness in their voices struck a
chord, the emotions rising in your chest. “No,” you mumbled, letting the tears
spill onto your jeans as they began to overflow.
Suddenly, two pairs of arms were engulfing your small frame,
the smell of flour and freshly baked cakes filling your senses. The kind gesture
simply made you want to cry harder, but the boys held on tight until you
demanded that you were fine.
“I’m sorry,” you sniffed, but they just smiled comfortingly.
“It’s not everyday someone cries after eating a mango and
coconut cupcake,” the taller boy grins, his smile wide and bright.
“When you’ve made
the icing, that’s debatable,” the other boy jibed, earning a poke in his ribs.
The smiley boy ignored his friend’s whines about bruising,
focusing back on you. “I’m Hoseok, and he’s Yoongi. We’re going to close for
lunch, but you can hang out with us if you want. Could use some new company.”
You couldn’t help the smile that tugged on the corner of
your lips as Yoongi began to tickle Hoseok, causing the taller boy to yell in
protest. Struggling to keep Yoongi’s wiggling fingers away from his sides,
Hoseok added, gasping slightly, “Please come so there’s a witness for my
“Okay, yeah,” you said, suppressing a grin. With Taehyung
occupied, you realised how badly you were lacking friends. Perhaps Yoongi and
Hoseok were exactly what you needed.
“This is my favourite place! I come here all the time, it’s
always so quiet here.” For the last half hour, Hoseok and Yoongi had been
showing you all the pretty parts in your region of Seoul, from cute flower
markets to the insane shopping streets. To be more accurate, Hoseok had been
showing you around, as Yoongi just went along with his younger friend. It was
refreshing to hang out with new people, although Hoseok reminded you of
Taehyung in many ways, making you wish he was here with you to explore. You
knew he would’ve loved the gaming shop, which was packed full of everything he
could only dream of. Compared to the shops in your small town on the outskirts
of Daegu, this was heaven.
Hoseok had lead you down a cobblestone street, lined with
cherry blossoms that had buds forming on the branches, ready for spring. The
three of you had stopped outside a long white building, with a small, electric-controlled
gate. Typing in the pin number, the gate buzzed and clicked as it became
unlocked. Proudly, Hoseok walked up the steps, as if he was an estate agent
showing off a property.
“It’s a dance studio,” announced Hoseok, his smile
stretching wider. You had entered the locker room, with glass windows in the
walls showing the practice space next door. “The dance club I’m in owns this
place, but only a few people come here because it’s smaller than the main
studio and it’s a bit out of the way of the main city,” he explained, entering
the empty room.
“Are you into dancing, Y/N?” Yoongi asked, sitting down
against one of the many mirrors to continue eating his lunch.
Your mind briefly thought back to all the dancing you’d done
with Taehyung, but you pushed it away, not wanting to think of Taehyung for the
fiftieth time in half an hour. “I enjoy it,” you said truthfully, “but I don’t
do it seriously.”
“Dancing doesn’t have to be serious,” smiled Hoseok. He
began fiddling with the stereo in the corner and going through his phone. After
putting on an upbeat song, Hoseok started to move to the beat, his body flowing
smoothly as he bounced and slid across the slightly sprung floor. “Join in!” he
called to you.
Seeing you hesitating, Yoongi shouted, “Dance, you muppet!”
It was a little embarrassing dancing next to someone as
talented and professional as Hoseok, but the reassuring smile he gave you throughout
the song made the experience a lot more enjoyable. At first, you tried to copy
Hoseok’s moves, but as he moved too fast, you gave up and instead let the
rhythm control your limbs, throwing yourself into the song. When it ended, you
and Hoseok were left panting, but it was exhilarating being able to let
“You were great, Y/N! With a bit of practice, you could
enter the competition, couldn’t she Yoongs?”
“Yah, what have I told you about nicknames?” Yoongi whined,
his mouth stuffed with food. “But yeah, you’d have a pretty good shot.”
“What competition?” you questioned, fanning yourself with
Hoseok pointed to the wall opposite the door before
collapsing down next to Yoongi, taking the half-eaten chicken and shoving it
into his mouth. The wall was covered in all sorts of flyers, but a large, red
poster caught your eye. It was advertising a dancing competition taking place
at the end of May, which anyone could enter. First place had a prize of… ₩1,000,000?
“A million won for the winner?” you asked incredulously.
“Interested?” laughed Hoseok. “Yoongs and I are entering as
a team, but it’d be cool to have some friendly competition. You’d have to get a
dance partner as well, or several if you want, so you can’t enter solo.”
That’s why you found yourself back at Taehyung’s house,
waiting for him to come home after his day out with Yeji. Jin was fast asleep
on one of the sofas, his head on the arm rest and his earphones in, while
Jungkook played a video game on their TV. Namjoon kept you company on the other
sofa, his long legs laid on top of yours.
“Introvert or extrovert?” he asked, biting the end of the
pencil he was holding.
“Tough. Probably slightly more introverted.”
Namjoon nodded, filling in your answer into the newspaper.
He’d found a quiz that would find your ‘quote of the week’, and seeing as Jin
was asleep and Jungkook refused point blank to participate, he’d jumped on you
as soon as you entered the front door.
“So, your quote of the week is, ‘the stupid neither forgive
nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.’”
“Wow, I’ve been enlightened,” you said sarcastically,
watching Jungkook throw himself on the floor as he died at the same spot for
the third time.
Your heart jolted in your chest as Taehyung entered, making
you decide against telling him off for leaving you for the second time to see
Yeji. Which was lucky, because as soon as Taehyung had stepped around the corner,
Taehyung grinned widely as he caught sight of you sprawled
on the sofa, but you were too focused on the fact that they were holding hands,
their fingers hatched together tightly.
“Hey guys,” Taehyung said brightly. “I’d like you to meet my
All three of your mouths dropped open, while Namjoon’s eyes
were wide in shock, Jungkook’s character in the game received a gruesome death
as his head whipped round in disbelief, and your heartbeat failed on you
completely. You must have misheard…
“Yeji, these are my housemates, Jin, Jungkook, and Namjoon,
and obviously, this is my best friend, who you’ve met before.” Taehyung gave
you a fleeting smile, looking slightly wary of your frozen expression.
“Hello,” Namjoon and Jungkook both mumbled, bowing their
Taehyung had met Yeji yesterday.
How were they already together?
“I’ll be in my room if you need me.” Leaving awkwardly and
dragging Yeji along, he disappeared up the stairs.
As soon as you heard the quiet click of the door, indicating
them being out of earshot, Jungkook almost exploded. “Girlfriend?” he spluttered, his eyebrows upturned.
Namjoon’s eyes darted between you and the staircase where
Taehyung had left the room. “Y/N,” he said slowly, “are you okay?”
The whole reason for you coming to the house was to ask
Taehyung if he would dance with you in the competition. Hoseok and Yoongi went
back to work shortly after you read the poster, but the instructions were
clear: find a dance partner, win the competition, get money. It was like a punch
to the gut. You didn’t even want to think about what Taehyung and Yeji would be
getting up to in his bedroom.
But were you okay? You weren’t sure. Instead of the usual
stone in your stomach, it had become a bottomless pit. Gaping wide open and
utterly empty, like all your hopes and visions had been sucked into this hole
and you were left feeling numb.
“I can’t ask him to be my dance partner, can I?” Your voice
wobbled towards the end of your childish question, but you bit your lip in hope
that no one noticed.
“I’m sure you’ll find someone,” said Namjoon gently.
“Namjoon, I don’t have any other friends. I need the money
to pay my parents back for my rent. I guess… I guess I can find other ways of
sorting it out.”
There was a thoughtful silence following your words, only
disrupted by the sound of deep breathing from Jin.
“Maybe you won’t,” Jungkook pondered, absentmindedly picking
at his jeans while he stared into the distance. “I’m not too shabby at dancing.
I could give it a go, if you’d like.”
Your mouth fell open, not for the first time that day. “Really?
You’d do that?”
“We could make a pretty good team.”
“But if you do get annoyed at him,” added Namjoon, “I’m only
a phone call away.”
The boys laughed, and even you let out a giggle despite
still feeling upset about Yeji. The sudden noise made Jin startle from his
slumber, blinking against the harshness of the light.
You watched him notice how there had been a change in
atmosphere since he had last been awake, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he
peered at all three of you.
Just finished my last exam and feeling extremely relieved and happy and tired and a bit overwhelmed. Psychology is such an amazing subject and I’m a bit sad i won’t be continuing it. Can’t believe how fast the first year of uni went! Best wishes to everyone still sitting exams :) you can do it!