best show i swear to god

The Great Flamingo Uprising

(Edited after additional information was obtained from zookeeping cousin)

I told this story to a few guildies a while back and decided to archive it in a longer format; so here is the story of The Great Flamingo Uprising of 2010 as told to me by my favorite cousin who was a keeper at the time.

In addition to the aviary/jungle exhibit, our zoo has several species of birds that pretty much have the run of the place.  They started with a small flock of flamingos and some free-range peacocks that I’m almost certain came from my old piano teacher’s farm.  She preferred them to chickens.  At some point in time they also acquired a pair of white swans (“hellbirds”) and some ornamental asian duckies to decorate the pond next to the picnic area.  Pigeons, crows, assorted ducks and a large number of opportunistic Canada geese moved in on their own. 

Now; the ponds that dot the zoo property (I don’t remember how many there are but the one by the picnic area is the only one with swans) were also full of ginormous koi fish, some of whom by now are at least three feet long.  Sensing an opportunity to cash in on the koi, the zoo put up little vending machines all over the place that dispense handfuls of food pellets.  I swear to god the fish can hear the crank turning, and will show up at the nearest railing, blooping expectantly at whoever happens to be standing there and doing their best to appear starving and desperate. 

Like this.^  And they weren’t the only ones who learned to associate the sound with the imminent arrival of food.  The Canada geese knew a good deal when they saw one, and had long since ceased to migrate anyway.  They formed roving gangs of thug-geese and staked out their turf around the vending machines, ready to mug anyone with pocket change.  Picture yourself as a small child squaring off with a bird as big as you are fully prepared to strip search you while standing on your feet and yelling “HWAAAAAKK!!” in your face.  It’s deeply traumatizing to you and incredibly hilarious to your parents.

Anyway.

The flamingos had their spot near the zoo entrance and never seemed to mind the presence of the other birds, as they kept themselves to themselves and didn’t really like the taste of fish pellets.  The problem lay in that their shrimp pond was close to a vending machine.  Ordinarily that wouldn’t have been an issue at all, but eventually the goose population grew large enough that one of the gangs decided to annex it.  Being territorial little shits, they would harass the poor flamingos any time they strayed within ten feet of it.  The flamingos tolerated this for years until one day they snapped collectively.  Here’s a summary of the incident in chronological order.

1.) It was a hot day, so everyone in question both human and avian, were cranky by the time the zoo even opened.
2.) A few flamingos (let’s call them The Jets) strayed into the radius of the vending machine and were immediately confronted by the indignant hissing geese (The Sharks)
3.) Possibly due to heat and the simple fact that the geese had been giant douchebags for far too long, the flamingos decided fuck it, this time they were going to FIGHT BACK DAMMIT, and swarmed the geese en masse.
4.) Chaos ensued.  The geese were outnumbered 4 to 1 but had the advantage of being able to scream for back-up. 
5.) Hearing the shrieking Canada geese and the bellowing of the enraged flamingos, the peacocks came to the conclusion that the apocalypse had come upon them and began to gather in the surrounding trees in droves and wail in despair.  Or cheer them on, whichever.
6.) NOISE
7.) Apparently one of the siege tactics employed by geese is to shit explosively all over everything.
8.) The geese, having secured reinforcements from all over the zoo, went berserk and proceeded to attack EVERYBODY who had come to watch be they human or otherwise.
9.) The flamingos were chasing/being chased by the geese through the crowd accompanied by cheers/wails from the peacocks in the box seats.
10.) Complete pandemonium when the zoo tram became stalled by the flamingo pond due to battling birds.  The Jets, sensing these were somehow reinforcements on the side of the Sharks, charged the tram.  Adults were doing the duck and cover.  Small children were screaming, adding to the noise.  People were slipping on goose shit and hitting the ground in the fetal position, only to be stampeded by the rampaging flamingos.
11.) The koi continued to bloop hopefully for food.
12.) Two of the geese were cornered by a rival gang of their own and were chased into the swan pond.  Cue slow-motion.
13.) The swans detected an enemy presence in their territory and by god, SOMEBODY was going to PAY. 
14.) The staff were having no luck in breaking up the fight and on the verge of giving up and just building another zoo elsewhere when the hellbirds stormed the battlefield, trumpeting battle-cries, to dispense feathered justice.  The staff promptly dropped their brooms and fled.
15.) Birds scattered in all directions.  Up, down, sideways.  Some people not present in the park circle swear a couple of geese flat out teleported into the petting zoo. A few ducks vanished in the chaos, presumably eaten by the swans.
16.) Two of the zookeepers barricaded themselves in the snack bar and refused to come out. 
17.) The uprising was squashed in less than two minutes.  Number of casualties was unknown, feathers were flying everywhere and there was enough goose shit to build another bird.  One staff member had been knocked to the ground and was left with a melon sized bruise courtesy of one of the hellbirds.  Several children were traumatized, probably for life.  The zoo eventually removed the vending machine by the flamingos. 

The geese went back to being giant douchebags. Because geese*.

Addendum:  Somehow, my aunt D got hold of this story and posted a link along with the comment: “This sounds exactly like our zoo!” 
Zookeeping cousin replied: “This was exactly our zoo.”

*I’m really not kidding.  This is a photo, taken at our zoo, of a gorilla being chased by one of the thug geese.

I should be asleep but I can’t so hear me out: nursey’s dad was his mom’s good friend from like college when samuel was an army veteran getting his bachelors at like 30. (he lost his wife really young, found himself a single dad to his daughter & two sons, and wanted a career that would keep him closer to home.) nursey’s mom and dad bonded over hand-to-hand combat techniques and having immigrant parents (his are Ethiopian, hers are Turkish and Bengali). he didn’t have a lot of money, so she’d come up with reasons to “borrow” his kids whenever she knew he needed a babysitter. she credits him to this day for her switch from pediatrics to dentistry– “I love these specific kids, but god help me if i get sneezed on by a toddler I don’t even know.” his kids grew up calling her auntie jo/joeita, he made it through PA school and she got through dentistry, they stay close. so when nurseys mom decides roughly ten years after they meet (she’s five years out of dental school) that she doesn’t want to wait any longer to have a kid, the first person she thinks of when she thinks “good dad whom I trust” her friend samuel. not to mention she knows the kids he already has and thinks they’re great. he happily agrees to be her sperm donor, they have a lot of talks about how and to what extent they’ll be coparenting, five months later nursey’s mom is walking around with a cute baby bump when she runs into the literal woman of her dreams in the Starbucks inside a Barnes & noble. (paloma, for what it’s worth, is just minding her own business when an eleven-year-old boy trips over her shoes, looks her in the face, and then stage whispers “hey auntie jo have you seen how pretty this lady is????” to the stunning woman looking apologetic at the end of the aisle.) ANYWAY, they take their time for obvious reasons but when nursey’s around six months old his dad insists on taking him for the night so that his best friend can FINALLY go on a real date with “Professor Model, I swear joeita if you don’t date this woman it will be a personal affront to me, my children, your ancestors, just go to dinner oh my god”

lil derek is the flower boy at his mom and mama’s wedding when he’s four. his dad officiates, and nursey gets so excited to run down the aisle toward him that he forgets about the petals almost entirely. he grows up with the coolest way-older siblings (cardiologist, psychologist, political policy analyst/future senator) who help him with his homework and show him off to their friends and just get the BIGGEST kick out of nursey, he’s like their mascot, PLUS an awesome dad who teaches him to cook and how to do a real push-up, PLUS the best moms a kid could ask for. every Father’s Day he spends two hours making an elaborate breakfast for his dad before they watch Scrubs in bed while they eat it and he thinks to himself he is just spoiled with love.

anonymous asked:

Andreil 2

2. “You’re too young to hate the world.”

Neil wasn’t particularly keen on doing talk shows, even though he wasn’t in hiding anymore, and even though Riko was no longer in the picture to make unexpected appearances and ruin everything. There are just some things that one never quite grows accustomed to, and putting on a friendly facade for the media is one of the things Neil knows he will never, ever get the hang of.

The whole lineup of the Foxes had been invited to TV shows all over the country to be interviewed after their historic defeat of the Ravens, and while Wymack got them out of most of them, there were some offers that he couldn’t back out of. Which is why on one particular Wednesday, the Foxes piled onto the bus to head to an afternoon interview with one of the most popular afternoon talk-show hosts in the Exy world.

“Now listen up you rascals,” Wymack hollered from the front of the bus once they had started moving, “don’t you even think about fucking around on this interview. If we want to boost our public image and show that we’re honorable athletes and competitors, be on your best behavior. Dan, you do most of the talking if you can help it. Kevin and Matt, you two back her up. Neil, I swear to god, if you even look like you’re going to be snide I will have you off that stage in three seconds flat.”

Neil, seated in the very back with Andrew at his side, nodded. He thought he could manage to keep quiet for a 20-minute segment, especially if there were eight other people up there with him.

He was wrong.

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😏Take It Out On Me (Grayson x Reader)

Summary: Your boyfriend is an asshole and Grayson is your best friend who is always there for you. Based on the song Take It Out On Me by Florida Georgia Line.

Warnings: Swearing/Smut

A/N: This is for @cassmoreiraxo I love you!

Originally posted by dolantwinsgifs

Grayson’s POV

What’d he do this time?
Did he break your heart?
I can tell you been crying… and baby here you are.
And I always know any time you show up at my door past 11 o'clock that he really must’ve pissed you off.

I was editing a video when I heard the door of Ethan and I’s apartment swing open. I checked the time. It was 11:07pm. Thank God Ethan wasn’t home or else he would flip out. I walked out into the living and I saw her. Her cheeks were shining from the single lamp in the living room. I could see her cheeks were stained with tears and faint mascara streaks. “Y/N?” I asked her. “Hey hey hey come here.” I opened my arms for her to run into which she did.

“I hate him.” She mumbled in my chest. I knew she meant Andrew. I shushed her as I rubbed her back up and down. She was heaving heavily in my chest. I inhaled deeply and I could smell a hint of mango in her hair. I chuckled to myself as the scent reminded me of Hawaii with an overpowering scent of pineapple. I ran my fingers gently through her hair as they ran through smoothly.

“What did he do this time?” I asked with a sigh. She leaned up from my chest as her hands were still slightly pushing on my chest. She looked in my eyes as mine gazed down to her touch on me. I can’t control her no matter how much I wish I could.

Originally posted by malachaibennett

“He came over and I cut his hair for, oh my gosh Gray are you editing?” She panicked which caused me to chuckle.

“No no it’s fine. Really you’re more important right now. Here sit down.” I pushed her back so she was on the couch. I walked into the keurig in our kitchen and made a cup of orange pekoe tea which I always knew would cure any stress in Y/N’s heart. I walked back into the living room and sat on the couch.

“Gray you remember.” She coos as she takes the tea from me.

“Of course. A real man will care about you and try to remember the small details about you. Like the way your eyes flutter when you just wake up in the morning or how gorgeous your laugh is when your lips curve upwards. I notice the way you fidget when you’re nervous by playing with your nails or biting your lip to the point it will bleed. I know you hate the snort sound you make when you laugh, but it’s honestly my favorite sound.” I smiled at her which I could tell she was blushing. I leaned up and I took her hands in mine. “What else did he do?” She inhaled deeply and winced at my touch, but I didn’t let go.

“It started off when I was cutting his hair. Then because I didn’t want to have sex with him he threw a fit. He then brought up a fight from two years ago that I didn’t even remember. He was being rude and a jerk. He started telling me I needed to lose some weight and that I shouldn’t be wearing such tight clothes.” I pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. I hate Andrew. I heard her start to sniffle.

Originally posted by lovershub

Take off your coat, and baby come on in.
Girl, let me help to get back at him.
And I don’t know why you never say goodbye…
Whatever hell he’s puttin’ you through,
I can’t wait for you to…

“Hey hey hey calm down. Andrew doesn’t deserve you.” I said as I pressed my lips to her cheek. I let my lips linger as I slowly pull away. I looked at her and she looked me in the eyes.

“Gray…” She trailed off, but I didn’t let her go. “We can’t.”

“I don’t know why you’re still with him. You don’t think you love him do you?” I asked and she started biting on her bottom lip. She got quiet. “I also noticed that whenever you get upset you shut down. Completely withdraw from any situation.” I rubbed my thumb along the top of her hand and I let out a light laugh. “You always shut down with Andrew.” I said as she bit harder into her lip. “I notice these things Y/N.” I argued. She shivered. I let out a hard sigh and I looked at her again. “Why do you come here every time you two get in an argument? Why do you think I care?” I asked a little harsher than I meant. I could see slight hurt in her eyes, but she was trying to be strong.

“Maybe because you’re my best friend? I don’t know Grayson! Gosh I won’t come here anymore then. I’ll go to Miranda’s or Angie’s if it makes you this upset!” She snapped as she tried to take her coat. I grabbed her by her arm and I spun her around.

Originally posted by oblivion-is-all-you-crave

“Maybe you hope something will happen. Maybe you want me to show you how a man should really treat you.” I snapped back at her. She inhaled a shaky breath, but she didn’t say anything. “Fuck it.” I said as I pressed my lips to hers forcefully.

Originally posted by secretgif-s

Take it out on me.
And put your lips on mine.
Let me take his wrong and make it right this time.
Yeah, you can just come over, you ain’t gotta call.
You always got a shoulder anytime it all goes bad, when you’re ‘bout to break, when you’re mad as hell, you can always take it out on me.
You can take it out on me baby.
If you ever wanna leave, maybe.
In the middle of the night, that’s alright…
You can take, take…

She pushed me back, but before she could say anything I snapped. “Take it out on me Y/N!” I shouted at her. “Make him mad! Make him angry! Use me! Just don’t go back to him without doing anything to where you win.” I snapped at her. She looked up at me in shock, but then she kissed me. I kissed her back as I slip my tongue in her mouth and I grabbed her hips hard earning a moan from her. “Let me make this right.” I whispered lowly in her ear as I attached my mouth to her neck as her fingers tangled in my hair. She moved her back gently so I could have easier access to her jaw.

Originally posted by moan-s

“Gray…” She moaned as she dug her nails into my shoulder. I grinded against her as I reattached our lips and kissed her deeply.

“Take it out on me Y/N.” I said barely above a whisper two centimeters from her lips. She nodded her hair vigorously as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist. I wrapped my arms around her as I led us back into my room. 

Originally posted by sensuous

I toppled her on the bed and we kissed harshly. I would take her bottom lip in between my lips and pull back as she rolled her body against me. I slipped her shirt off revealing her black lace bra. I bit my bottom lip as I kissed along her collarbone softly. I smirked to myself as I could see I was leaving hickies. Knowing Andrew would see those marks gave me satisfaction.

Originally posted by sensuous

“Grayson.” She pushed up on me and I looked at her with a chuckle.

“I think not baby girl.” I pinned her arms down and smirked. She even giggled.

“Let me take it out on you.” She smiled which caused me to turn my head confused. She wiggled free and flipped us to where she was on top of me now. She slid her jeans off her legs so now she was in her black lace bra and dark blue panties. I could feel myself getting harder and harder when I saw her. Her curves, her long brown hair, and that sexy ass just drove me crazy. She peeled my shirt off as she kissed me harshly. She slip her tongue in and grinded against me.

Originally posted by ultimateseduction

“Fuck.” I moaned as she grinded harder into me. I gripped her hair and gently pulled which earned me another moan. “Can Andrew make you moan this much?” She rolled her eyes and grinded into me hard which caused me to jump.

“Watch yourself Dolan.” She chuckled and kissed down my chest as she slowly massaged me outside my sweats. She grabbed the hem of my sweats and pulled them down my legs as my prominent boner stuck up in my boxers. “Wow, Andrew isn’t this big.” She gave out a playful giggle as I smiled quite proud of myself. “I mean he’s big, but not as thick.” Her fingertips lightly touched me through my boxers, which made me shudder. No woman has ever had this effect on me. I’ve never wanted to do anything like this with anyone else besides Y/N. Her hand gripped the hem of my boxers, but I place my hand over hers.

“Are you sure about this Y/N? We can stop if you want to.” I was praying to God she wouldn’t want to stop. She leaned down and whispered in my ear.

“I’m on the pill Gray. It’s okay.” She yanked my boxers down and climbed back on top of my body.

Yeah, I’ll lay you down and love you just the way you should be.
Baby, so now that you’re ready…

She grinds into me at first with our bare bodies as if she’s teasing me. I can feel how wet she was against me. “Stop teasing Y/N. You look too fucking good right now.” We both laughed as she started to place me at her entrance.

“Fuck Gray!” She groaned as she slowly slid herself on me. I unhooked her bra as she placed her hands on my chest for support. I squeezed her breasts a couple times, but I squeezed her ass more. She would slowly slide up and down, but soon began speeding up. She would let out a string of grunts as she angrily rolled her body against mine. She even clawed into my chest as she grinded harder against my body. She gripped my hair and leaned down against me.

I bit my bottom lip as I grabbed her hips and gripped hard as I guided her body. She let out more moans as I could feel myself getting close. I could also tell she was getting tired. I smiled and I flipped us over. “Gray!” I cut her off as I slammed my tongue into her mouth and started rubbing her clit hard. She moaned into my mouth as she let out shaky moans. “G-Gray.”

“Let it out baby girl. Moan my name so you know how a real man should treat you and make you feel.” I thrusted a few more times as I felt myself climax and soon I felt her body shiver under mine.

“Graysonnnn!” She moaned as I thrusted in her a couple more times before I pulled out and flopped on the bed next to her. I grabbed the comforter off the floor and I covered our bare bodies. I kissed her temple as she was panting.

Originally posted by 11-11

You can take it out on me baby.
If you ever wanna leave, maybe.
In the middle of the night, that’s alright…
You can take, take, take it out on me.

“Don’t go back to him.” I begged. She looked up at me and let out a sigh. “Please Y/N. I hate seeing you two together. He’s so bad for you.” I pleaded. She just sighed and curled into my chest.

“Will you make me breakfast in the morning?” She asked with a smile. I chuckled at her response.

“I’ll make you breakfast every morning if I get to see you and be with you every day Y/N.” I said pushing some hair out of her face. She got up from the bed and walked over to her jeans. “What are you doing?” I asked confused. “I didn’t think you were going to actually leave me.” I said and she giggled.

“I’m breaking up with Andrew.” She smiled as she typed away on her screen. She threw her phone in our pile of clothes as she crawled back into the bed. “I deserve someone better. Someone who notices the little things.” She said as she wrapped her arms around me.

“Yeah you do. You deserve nothing less.”

Originally posted by sensualkisses

Imagine the prophecy is fulfilled and Emma dies. Regina, grief stricken, buys a ouija board after seeing a movie about it and doing her own research.

“Emma Swan, I’m trying to contact Emma Swan. Are you here, Emma?”

Nothing happens for awhile and Regina sits in silence, holding her breath until slowly, the pendulum moves over the YES at the top of the board.

Regina releases a burst of air from her lungs. Skeptical though, Regina asks “How do I know it’s really you, Miss Swan?”

The cursor immediately flew to the NO on the board. Regina furrowed her eyebrows. “No? No what?”

The cursor moved again, down the alphabet. Regina read each letter out loud. “D O N T C A L L M E T H A T.”

“Don’t call me that.” Regina was confused for a moment until she realized she has just called Emma “Miss Swan”. She knew Emma hated it. She laughed lightly though tears pricked her eyes. The stupid idiot. “I’m sorry, Emma.”

She was here. Her Emma was truly here. Even though Henry had told her his other mother had never left, that she was always with them, Regina needed this confirmation. She needed this sense of closeness. She also needed to know why. Why Emma had beat her own fate, her own prophecy and then jumped in front of the sword that was destined for Regina. That idiot.

“You’re an idiot.” Regina said, choking back her own tears. Willing herself not to show this weakness. But she had mourned too long silently, keeping this all to herself. Emma was the one she shared everything with and now she was gone. Until now. Kind of.

The pendulum moved to the “YES” after Regina called her an idiot which forced the tears down Regina’s cheeks.

“Why did you do that, Emma? Why did you not let me die?”

The pendulum moved across the board.

“H E N” Regina cut it off, suddenly frustrated, her emotions getting the best of her. “Oh, don’t you dare say Henry Emma Swan or I swear to god.”

The pendulum stayed still and Regina tried to collect herself. Deep breaths. Finally, the curser began to move. “I H A D T O.”

“I had to.” Regina repeated. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Leave it to Emma to tip toe around giving her clear answers, even in death.

Regina sighed. She needed to know. She had heard the Pirate going off on a drunk rant at Granny’s a few weeks after Emma’s death, about how he knew all along that Emma would always choose Regina over him, that Emma would always love Regina more than she loved him. It hit Regina like a punch in the gut, been gnawing at her brain ever since. She had loved Emma Swan. Deeply. But the idea of the other woman ever returning those feelings felt so foreign to Regina she never felt the need to bring it into fruition. Until now.

With shaky breath Regina finally asked, “Was it because…. you loved me?”

The electricity in the room changed, the atmosphere feeling charged in only a way Emma Swan could make it feel around Regina. The pendulum stayed still but Regina knew Emma was still with her. Stubbornly still with her.

“I’ll ask you again, Em-Ma, did you sacrifice yourself for me because you love me?”

Slowly, the pendulum moved, the sound it made as it crossed the board was so loud in that moment it was almost deafening.

Y E S

“Yes.” There were the tears again, freely rubbing down Regina’s face as she openly sobbed now. Openly mourned the loss of the woman she loved and the ending to her story that once again ended in tragedy.

“Since when?” Regina sniffed.

A L W A Y S

Regina choked on a sob. “I am so sorry, Emma. So, so sorry. I love you, too. Please know that. I know…. I know I always called you an idiot but truly, the only idiot here is me. I’m so sorry, Emma. I love you too. I always have and– and probably always will. Will you ever forgive me?”

Without hesitation the curser moved to the YES.

Another sob escape just in time for the front door to slam and for Henry’s voice to echo through the house, “Mom!? You here?!”

“Our son and his timing.” Regina really wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Emma yet. There wasn’t enough time. There never was enough time.

Emma seemed to understand, the air around Regina felt calming, understanding, safe.

The curser began to move.

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y

Regina smiled for the first time in the long weeks since that night. “You remembered.”

“A L W A Y S” Emma spelt before moving the cursor over GOODBYE.

Even can’t stop taking photos of Isak

Okay so all credits for this prompt go to the lovely @short-tops-and-bass-drops and all of my favourite angels in the discord chat <3 I hope this is okay 

  • Even loves taking photos of Isak. He loves looking at his beautiful smile, his delicate hands, the curve of his body in a million different angles. He loves the way the light reflects on his body, creating patterns on his skin just for Even to see. 
  • He can’t stop and Isak who always whines “evi stop being creepy” secretly loves it. sometimes he pretends to not notice and tries to place his hands in a way that might look nice but Even knows he is posing and teases the crap out of him while kissing every inch of his body until it is covered by Evens lips and his laughter. 
  • The photos are just for Even and Isak. They are theirs. evidence of the beauty and art their love can create. No one elses eyes will look upon the way Isak’s body glows in the light of the sun in the break of morning 
  • well this doesn’t last long… 

“I swear to god this was the best pizza in the world you have no idea!” Magnus exclaims waving his hands like it’s evidence of his words being true. 

Even scoffed “yeah right” 

Magnus gasped “you don’t think Gonzela’s has the best pizza” 

Before Even can respond Isak interjects “Even makes the best pizza.” 

“oh really?” Magnus says excitedly. Isak rolls his eyes. When will Mags not unintentionally flirt with his man? 

Even grinned, proud to share his love of food “I can show you a photo Isak took last time I made him his favourite pizza” 

Even pulled his phone out as Magnus eagerly looks over his shoulder while Even scrolls through his pictures. Even gives his phone over to Magnus who looks at the pizza with hearteyes. “damn this looks-” he stops midsentence the moment he swiped to see the next photo. 

Isak looks at him confused but not for long as Mags shouts for the whole schoolyard to hear “HOLY SHIT IS THAT ISAK NAKED?” 

“What?” 

“Are you fucking serious?” 

Mahdi and Jonas both shout as they stop their discussion on the walking dead to look over at the phone Magnus was laughing at. 

They both doubled over laughing right before Even snatched the phone out of Magnus’s hands with a big fucking proud grin on his face “well that’s enough boys” 

Isak could feel himself dying. in a hole. right there. in front of everyone. 

Jonas blinked a couple times in shock before announcing “I can never unsee that” 

Mahdi nodded “But I have to say it was a really nice photo. Do you take photography?” He asked Even who nodded happily. 
“I took media actually” 

“ah nice how do you feel about long exposure? i’ve been trying this new thing where-” 

Isak could not believe what was happening his bros just saw a photo of him….like that and one of them is talking to his boyfriend about photography tips while the other two were…trying to mimic Isak’s pose. 

He whacked Jonas’s out stretched hand “knock it off.” 

Jonas laughed which caused Even to look up from his intense discussion. 

“Don’t be embarrassed Isak you look fucking beautiful.” Even reassured him, causing Isak to blush.

“I agree” Magnus said, making Isak choke on his own breath

“excuse me?” 

Magnus nodded serious, “Hey Even do you think you could take some photos like that of me? I’m thinking it would be a great gift for Vilde” 

Even laughed joyously at the exact same time Isak yelled an extremely intense “NEI STOP FLIRTING WITH MY BOYFRIEND” 


EXO most to least likely to have experience with girls/dates/etc

This is all my opinion, Beshy helped me too :) @chantenyongs I have my reasons to believe this, might be completely wrong tho. 


Lay: Most of the people think he’s very innocent and such and maybe maybe he is but I do think he’s the one with the most experience. How he treats girls and even boys, how moves, everything he does… He knows how to interact with people and you only do that so easily thanks to experience.

Kris:I feel he had one or two girlfriends when he lived in Canada. Maybe he’s not the “playboy” type but doesn’t mean he hasn’t experienced some things. I think that even one relationship is enough to teach him so much because of how dedicate he is. 

Tao: Rumor said he dated eight girls at once before debuting. I don’t know if that’s true (I don’t think so) but rumors always have some sort of true. Maybe he had a few girlfriends, maybe he lived a little more before dedicating his life to his career. 

Chen: he had a girlfriend before and he’s seriously a gentleman. Also when you see him in person you can’t help to notice that he has that spark… he’s a flirt… he’s a god I swear. He knows how to win your heart and probably how to be a perfect boyfriend. 

Kai: He’s a flirt too and cutie pie and seriously, seeing him is like the best thing that could happen to you, and he knows it. I think that more than being the kind of “flirting and making out boy” he’s more into the “I’m going to win your heart step by step”. Might prove he is a good boy and innocent but also shows you it’s not his first rodeo. 

Xiumin: he’s the oldest yet I don’t think he had much time to worry about it. Maybe he had a few crushes or one or two girlfriends and yes he is the sweetest boy in the whole world but he is very dedicated to his career and also very concerned about his self-being. I think that his only obstacle is that he doesn’t think he deserves the world, if not he would be at the top of this list. 

Luhan: leaving his weird songs and his solo life as an artist I think he is actually very shy around people. There are many rumors about him dating or even having a baby but I don’t think that’s how Lu really is. Kinda think it’s hard for him to find the right one, but when he does he gives his all. 

Baekhyun: baek has had some girls, some experience maybe but I also think he’s a little bit immature in the subject. Probably has some experience yes, but nothing too serious. He’s a flirt and also has a lot of energy so I think not anyone could keep up his step and that makes it hard for him to find someone. 

Suho: he’s the one with more years of training and he’s so dedicated to exo that I think he definitely has no time. Maybe he experience something before he broke up wit his girl because he was getting into this media) but that’s it. Not too much, something innocent. 

Chanyeol: him and sehun have the reputation of being playboys yet I really doubt that. Chan was so nervous in his movie where he had to kiss a girl… he barely kissed her tbh. He had a gf before yet when a girl talks to him he forgets he’s the sexiest man alive. Probably he lived some stuff with his ex but up to this day maybe he hasn’t done much with girls. 

Sehun: he’s a baby, a very handsome one but a baby. He lives his teen years in training and exo so probably he had no time to date. Maybe he does now but I doubt it. At least not too much. Not the way people make it seem. Not a playboy at all. He’s a ball of fur

Kyungsoo: Do’s damaged :(. He had a girlfriend in high school and apparently hurt him too much that now relationships are the last thing on his list. Baby is too precious and respectful and I think he’s the kind of boy that only has a few girls before finding the right one. Also being hurt influenced him in putting his career first. He has said it, he’s not ready to have a relationship yet. He wants to live first.
Ara❤️

From Screen to Stage
Project 87

Freddy just wanted to find Mike. Instead, he finds Springtrap and a strange old cartoon…


Ta-da! Here it is, our crossover with Bendy and the Ink Machine! This was inspired by one of our VA’s. He’s got a pretty good Bendy voice, and, well, I had to take advantage of that. And what better way than to combine it with our very own p87lore, hm?
This is heavily headcanon-based, since it was written before Chapter 2′s release, so please forgive anything that doesn’t seem to add up with what we know of the game as of now. It’s also set in the p87lore, so if you’re wondering why Freddy and Springtrap are able to interact together, maybe take a peek at our tag for it ;)

This could be a series if people show they like it enough. If you enjoyed this, please reblog it! If we can get, let’s say, 20 reblogs, we’ll continue.

It’s less than five minutes long, so what are you waiting for? ;) You can also listen on Soundcloud.

Freddy: @alexandervonkoopa
Springtrap: @jacobtheloofah
Bendy: @tablewithamicrophone
Script: @jaybingu
Editing done by alexandervonkoopa

Transcript below the cut:

Keep reading

When Atem gets drunk...

(I dedicate this post to @teppa-is-sonic-trash​ ;D)


Atem (1:34 am): *very clingy cuddles* Aibo, I love you soooo much! *smooshes cheek against Yugi’s*

Yugi: *has difficulty breathing* I love you too but i really need to go to the bath room now, other me.


Atem: (2:48 am): JOU DID YOU JUST LAUGH AT US?! HOW FUCKING CRUEL ARE YOU THAT YOU LAUGH AT SOMETHING SO PURE LIKE OUR LOVE HOW DARE YOU IMMA BEAT YOU UP

Yugi: NO YOURE NOT! SIT DOWN, OTHER ME!


Atem (3:14 am): Oh my gosh, aibo, how can you be this beautiful, I will never stop looking at you, I swear *awkward stare*

Yugi: Uhm….okay… O__o


Atem (3:56): OTOGI DID YOU JUST TRY TO FLIRT WITH MY AIBO DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK AROUND AND STEAL PEOPLE’S AIBOS IMMA SHOW YOU IMMA KICK YOUR ASS I- *falls flat on his face*

Yugi: Oh dear… *facepalm*


Atem: (4:27 am): *cries* Aibo, you’re so wonderful, you’re an angel and I dont deserve you, how can you be so wonderful, oh god, I love you so much Imma die! *gross sobbing* Please never break up with me, I know im not worthy of an angel like you but please dont break up with me, Imma do my best, I swear! *cries more*

Yugi: I wont break up with you, other me, dont worry *pats atems head*


Atem (5:20 am): *sleeping on the couch, head on yugis lap*

Yugi: Oh my gosh, finally…!

Under One Condition: Chapter Three

Originally posted by 9taefox

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Hey, so, this is the latest chapter. Sorry it took so long to upload, I’ve been so busy. I hope you enjoy the read. For those interested, I am also now on wattpad, my username there is the same as my twitter. (MinT_Yooonnggii). 

Thank you for the continuing support.

Remember, feel free to ask questions or make requests for one shots, shorts, what ever you fancy. Asks are always open :)

Jimin x reader x Taehyung

Warnings: swearing, mature content, kinks, smut, teasing

Word Count: 4,307

Chapter Links: 

Chapter one      Chapter two    Chapter three (Chapter four in progress)

———————————————————————

Jimin quickly flung himself out of bed and stumbled to get his trousers on, that were still crumpled at the foot of the bed where you left them last night. You pulled the covers over you and harshly whispered at Jimin.

“It is. It is… it is Tae, what the hell am I supposed to do!? Stroll out there and talk to him!? GOD NO!”

He stopped and looked at you, mid shuffle, trying to get the waist band in place. “It’s fine, you aren’t going out there, and I won’t let him in here. I agree, he can’t see you. Not like this… stay here.”

And with that he swept out of the room and slammed the door behind him and he scurried towards the front door shouting to Tae.

“Coming, I am coming… TAE I AM COMING!”

You heard the door open, followed by a relived sigh and a loud plop as Tae threw himself on the sofa.

“I know it is like, 6am, but this is urgent. Sit”. He spoke as he motioned to the seat next to him for Jimin to sit down.

“Tae, what on earth is wrong? You’re freaking me out hyung”. A look of worry was spread across his face, his voice was quiet and soothing.

“Right, you know we had that big thing for work? Well, I have the best idea. Will you work on it with me later, I will show you everything and tell you all about it when we get there. I just needed to hear you say yes”. He sounded so excited, you couldn’t help but smile as you hid in the bedroom. You always loved when he was happy.

“AH!!” Tae let out a pained cry. “What was that for!?”

“You scared the shit out of me thinking something bad had happened for this!? I swear to god Taehyung…” Jimin’s voice had grown louder, and tense. You could feel how annoyed he was just from his tone alone, you could only imagine his expression.

“Hyung— “. Tae left a long pause after he spoke, his voice was shaky.

Jimin stared at him with a shocked look on his face, and a silent prayer ran through his mind, hoping this wouldn’t go where he thought this was going. Tae pointed to the coffee table and stared at him in disbelief.

“Is this… is this (y/n)’s phone? I-i-is sh-she here? With… you!?” His face had sunk, and his voice was quiet, full of hurt and disbelief.

“No, Tae, you know I was on a date tonight. She came home with me last night and… well, I really didn’t expect you to be coming around like this.”

Jimins voice was firm, yet had a comforting edge to it. And you were surprised to hear he told Tae about the date, though obviously, he hadn’t mentioned it was you. It obviously meant he was excited about it as much as you were.

“Jimin, no. This is her phone. She bought that case when we went to the theme park a few months back because she liked how the glitter fell, and it made her smile. This is her phone Park Jimin”.  You couldn’t see him, but you could hear the betrayal in his voice.

You thought it was sweet how he remembered why you got it, and you smiled sheepishly remembering the moment, and how he laughed at you. You hear Jimin speak again, ripping you from your memories and soon snapped back to your seriousness.

“Tae, hyung, lots of people have the same phone cases”.

“I’m calling her, right now.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you gasped from behind the door at his words. Jimin held his breath as Tae dialled your number, and you both waited for your ring tone to echo through the room. Tae stared at your phone on the coffee table with a saddened expression, also waiting for it to ring. But it never did.

You released a heavy sigh of relief, you had never in your life been so happy your phone had such a ridiculously short battery life. You pulled the blanket tighter around you, what would he have said if it rang? Your quickly shook yourself from your thoughts as you heard Tae sigh deeply before continuing to speak.

“I guess she’s still here? I should probably go leave you two to your day then, sorry, hyung.”

“It’s fine Tae, honestly. Don’t worry about it, hyung. I will stop by later as you said, we will discuss your ideas then”. You could hear the smile in voice as he spoke softly.

“Yeah, I will see you then, thank you for this. Sorry for coming over so early, I just needed to tell you. I’m super excited about this, I have a good feeling!”

You heard footsteps and the door open, he was leaving now. You quickly walked back over to the bed, and sat down, making sure the blanket covered you before Jimin came back. You hear him walking back to the bedroom with heavy steps, he must still be tired.

“Morning sunshine!” He beamed as he entered as looked at you snuggled in the blanket.

“Morning”. You giggled back at him.

“Sorry about that. Y’know how he is when he’s excited I’m sure”.

“Oh, yeah, do I. One time at school he got so excited about winning first place for a science project, he ran three corridors down and straight into my class to tell me”. You laughed and shook your head at the memory. “He hasn’t changed much, not that I’d want him to”.

“Ah, me neither, he’s such a great friend”.

He sat beside you as he spoke and pulled you closer to him in a warm embrace, and you smiled into his chest. He rested his chin on your head and sighed a little, before reaching to push the wisps of hair from your face gently.

“You know, we should probably tell him at some point”. He tilted your chin up to look at him as he spoke softly. “Well, given you would give me the honour of taking you on another date that is”.

He smirked and your cheeks turned a rosy tint of pink. He wanted another date! You couldn’t believe it, you weren’t sure why, but you hadn’t expected him to ask you again; especially so soon.

“Hm… well, I might do”. You prodded his chest as you teased him.

“Might!?”

He pretended to look offended at your response while clutching at his chest dramatically. You laughed and took his hand away from his chest before looking to him with a smile.

“Well, in that case, okay. I will give you the honour of another date”.

“That’s what I thought”.

He smiled and laid a gentle kiss on your lips before standing in front of you, pulling you up to stand with him. His lips met yours again, and your free arm, not clinging to the blanket covering you, found its way around the back of his neck. You pulled him in closer as he deepened the kiss and his hands found your body, tracing every curve from your shoulders, to your lower back where his hands came to a rest. He held you close to him, and you couldn’t help but to think this felt different to how it did last night. There was no hungry lust, just a soft sweetness, and it made your heart flutter. His lips parted from yours and he stood back a little, still holding you, looking at you fondly.

“Right, you go get a shower to clear up the groggy morning brain, and I will go make you some breakfast. How does that sound?”

You smiled widely at his kind gesture. You couldn’t believe the man who was so full of lust, so domineering, so rough, was being so thoughtful, soft, and caring. He was the true duality of man, and it left you wanting more. Yes, more of him, but to also to know more about him; to see every possible side of him.

“Yes, that sounds great. I’d like that”.

“Okay, the spare clothes I mentioned are already set out in the bathroom for you, on top of the towels I put out for you”.

“Wait, when did you…” you looked confused but he cut you off.

“I put them out before I picked you up last night”. He said with a smirk.

“But how did you know I’d come back with you?” confusion still lingering in your tone.

“Well, you did agree to my one condition, and I did say you needed to be punished for leaving me to take care of myself later that night after the car fiasco”.

He smirked at you cocking his eyebrow at you, lustful gaze returning as the memories of the car ride, and last night flashed before his eyes as he spoke.

“Yeah, fair point. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Well, thank you doing that for me”. You smiled at him gratefully.

“Not a problem, now go wake yourself up”. He said as he turned to leave.

You wondered through the door at the side of the bedroom, and into the bathroom. You smiled as you looked at the neat pile of towels and clothes he had left for you, and turned the shower on, fogging up the mirrors instantly from its warmth on a cool morning. You stepped inside and tipped your head back as the hot water ran over you, letting out a sigh of contentment. You scanned the in-shower shelf for some shampoo, and found all the bottles had a fruity fragrance, but the shower gel, much to your surprise. You shrugged and squeezed out some citrus shampoo, it smelt extra refreshing this morning and you relished in its scent as you rubbed it into your hair happily. You heard clattering followed by a loud bang come from the kitchen area, and then Jimins voice.

“Fuck!! AH great”.

You laughed at the sound as you continued to rinse the shampoo from your hair. He must have dropped something trying to hurry to have breakfast ready for you, you thought, picking up the gel. You flipped the cap and sniffed it, it had sandalwood hints and a musky fragrance, just as Jimin did last night. You squeezed some out and proceeded to clean yourself, breathing in the smell, remembering how as he pushed you to the bed the scent of his skin was the air you breathed while you panted beneath him. You felt a coil in your stomach tighten and you shook your head to snap out of it, before your thoughts could deepen.

You stepped out and shut the shower off, wrapping yourself in the soft towel, and making your usual towel hat to dry your hair off a little as you dried yourself off. You picked the clothes up he’d left you. A pair of his grey sweats and a black t-shirt. Perfect. Just the comfortable attire you needed today, as you were still feeling a little tired, though your fuzzy head had dissipated with the steam from the shower. You pulled the clothes on and began to towel dry your hair the best you could, before making your way out to find Jimin.

He turned to face you, at the sounds of the pitter patter of your feet on the cold tiles, as you entered the room. A smile stretched at the left corner of his lip as he stood gazing at you, spoon in hand. He was still wearing nothing but the crinkled trousers from last night, his hair slicked back from his face. You smiled back at him sheepishly and waved awkwardly as you stood there, looking back at him. Jimin laughed gently at your shy wave, before turning back around to finish what he was doing.

“God, you’re so cute”. He spoke so quiet, it was barely audible, as he rubbed the back of his neck.

You walked up behind him, not sure what to do, how to act. Would it be out of place to hug him? You wanted to. You wanted to thank him for being so considerate and sweet, but would he think that’s weird? You stood there for a moment, watching what he was doing, before you said to yourself, ‘fuck it’. You wrapped your arms loosely around his waist from behind him, and standing on tiptoes, placed your head between his neck and shoulder to see what he was doing.  You felt him smile against your cheek at your actions.

“That looks good! And don’t think I didn’t hear what you said”. Jimin turned to look at you, a mild look of shock on his face, he didn’t intend for it to be heard.

“You aren’t bad yourself you know”. You concluded and tightened your hold on him, and smiled coyly.

“Thank you. Now, go sit, breakfast is served!”

You let go of him and walked over to the table. As if he was going to serve it to you as well as make it? What a gentleman. You both sat to the table, opposite each other, and began to eat. You noticed him sneaking looks at you over his coffee cup and between bites, you tried not to smile at his actions, but you ended up lightly shaking your head and smiling anyway.

“What you are shaking your head at?”

The silence was broken and you looked up to see him smirking at you, playfully.

“Nothing. Nothing. This is just probably the best breakfast I’ve had in a while”. You smiled at him and took another bite, before gesturing at him with your fork. “Y’know… You’re not half bad at cooking!”

He laughed shyly, rubbing his neck, before looking back up at you to reply.

“Thanks, I try my best. Thought you could use a good breakfast after last night, you must still be feeling a little rough?”

He smiled and continued eating.

“Oh, no, no. I feel much better now, the steam really cleared my head, thank you”.

“So, I hope you haven’t got plans for the day. I want to keep you for a while, until I have to go meet with Tae”.

You look back up at him, he’s still smiling at you sweetly, and you swore it was the brightest smile you had ever seen. The way his lips pull tightly at the corners, exposing his perfect teeth. The way his eye smile along with his lips, and crinkle in the corners. The way his nose slightly scrunches up. You swore you could look at him smiling like this all day.

“Yeah, you can keep me. I’ve got no plans anyway”. You said through a smile.

“Good! I don’t have to meet Tae unt-”

He got cut off speaking by your phone ringing loudly from across the room. And you turned to find the source of noise.

“Is that my phone? Or do we have the same ring tone?”  You teased, while wafting the fork in his direction again. You were certain he’d not have a girl group song for a ring tone, after all.

You both giggled at your accusation, before he answered.

“Yeah, it is. I put it on charge for you while you showered. It’s on the counter behind you”.

He pointed past your shoulder and you got up to follow his direction. You unplugged your phone, and checked the caller ID. Tae.

You briefly wondered what he wanted, but saw you had ten unread messages, and assumed they were from him as well. What if he mentioned this morning, or asked why you weren’t answering texts, or where you were last night? You always answered him after all.

“Hi, Tae!! What’s up?” you greeted him cheerfully, while glancing at Jimin nervously.

Jimin looks back at you, mouthing his name questioningly, with a gesture as if to ask what he wanted.

“Oh, wow. Someone is excited. Congratulations!! Wait, what? You want me to come over this afternoon? Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry I didn’t answer, I was asleep. Yeah, you can show me then. Okay, okay. Yeah, I will see you then Tae. Okay, see you soon, bye”.

You hung up and glanced at Jimin, who was looking confused from only hearing one side of the conversation.

“You’re going over today too? Was it about his brilliant idea for work?”

“Yeah, he seems so excited! It must be good. I know you have to go too, but I couldn’t turn him down, sorry”.

“Don’t be, it means I get you longer. I will drive you home to get changed soon, then we can go together”.

“What!? NO! We can’t just turn up together like that Jimin, especially not after this morning. He has already asked why I wasn’t answering him all night. He will get suspicious”.

“No, no. I understand. What I’m saying is, we will go together. We will be there at the same time, but you will go in first, I will need another coffee to keep me going by then anyway so I will go to the cafe. Plus, he gave me no set time, I just said I’d turn up later. It will look like a happy accident”. He stood up and walked over to you, placing his hand on your cheek and pulling you close with the other. “Plus, I get to see more of this beautiful face”.

He leant in, holding you tighter, and placed a gentle kiss on your lips, before lightly grazing them with his thumb and smirking at you.

“Yeah, you’re right. I worry too much, don’t I?”

He hummed and rolled his lip between his teeth while looking at you, tilting his head.

“Hm, I wouldn’t say that. But you still have to honour my condition. So, you’d be going anyway, even if you didn’t see the light, I’m afraid”.

You gasped a little as his finger dug into your waist a little harder, pulling you flush against him. His eyes flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes, before he smiled and leant in to kiss you again. As your lips met you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, and deepened the kiss, keeping him close to you. He pushed against you, causing you to take a step back, and he walked with you until your back met the counter, as your lips worked against each other’s. One of his hands moved from your waist, sliding down to the hem of your shirt. His lips parted yours, and he rolled his tongue against your own. As you both became more frenzied, he slid his hand under your shirt and lightly run his fingers over your stomach, sending shivers up your spine, causing a breathy moan to slip from you.

“Moaning already, babygirl? I haven’t even touched you”.

And with that, both of his hands slid to your ass, as he returned his lips to yours. He pushed his body closer to you, wedging you firmly between his still unclothed chest, and the hard edge of the counter top. You felt his fingers dig into your flesh as he tightened the hold he had on you, and he lifted you onto the work surface, one of your legs either side of him.

“Now, what am I going to do with you?”

You look down at him with big doe eyes, while biting your lip at his suggestive tone. He smirks at you, crashing his lips back into yours as he rolls his hips into you.  You feel his hardening member push against your clothed core, causing you to gasp and dig your nails into his neck. He bites your lip, continuing to thrust against you. His hands move to your breasts and he grabs them firmly, kneading at them with his fingers. You start to rock your hips against his to meet his thrusts as you both become needy. The intensity rises, tongues fighting a war, lips being bitten, hips grinding against each other’s needily. You pull his hair and break the kiss to let out a desperate moan against his neck, before placing open mouth kisses from his jaw to his collar bone. He places a finger under your chin, tilting your head up to meet your gaze.

“Tsk. Babygirl, who gave you permission to do such a thing? Do I really have to punish you again?”

His eyes were dark, full of lust, and a smirk pulled at the corners of his lips. Your mouth remained parted as you looked at him, as you felt the all too familiar need grow in the pits of your stomach. You swallowed hard, as you prepared to answer, you knew what he wanted to hear. He made it all to clear last night, you knew what would get him going.

“N-no, daddy, you don’t. I will be a good girl for you, I promise”.

He hummed in appreciation, and slid his hand under the waistband of your sweats. Your breath hitched in your throat, but leant back to give him better access. You wanted more, you needed more.

“You want me to touch you babygirl?”

“Mhm, please”. You bit your lip and nodded at him, awaiting his touch.

He dipped hid hand further into the sweats. You felt a finger graze ever so lightly across your folds, before drawing a line teasingly from your entrance to your clit, where he paused and gently rubbed light circles into it. You tipped your head back and moaned at his movements. You needed to feel his touch, but he was deliberately being soft, teasing you; and yet it still felt so good.

“Fuck, you are so wet for me already”.

He drew a line back to your entrance, and circled it. You bit your lip and let out a breathy moan of anticipation. He removed his hand from the sweats, and held it up to you. You saw his fingertips glisten with your arousal, and shyly looked away.

“Look at them. Look at how wet I make you without having to touch you”.

Your eyes widened and mouth hung ajar as he slipped his finger into his mouth, cleaning off your wetness. You couldn’t say why, but it made the coils in your stomach tighten further.

“Damn, babygirl, you taste good”.

He slipped his hands back into your sweats, and repeated the same circling motion, only this time he slightly dipped his finger tip inside you, and swirled it around a couple of times. You moaned lightly and your nails dug into his shoulder as your hand roamed his back. Just as you thought he was going to give you what you needed most, he pulled his hands from your sweats again, and you watched eagerly, expecting him to lick his finger clean again.

“Open up”. His voice was deep, frim and had a gravely edge, only causing your need to grow stronger with his every word.

You hated to admit it, but your mouth dropped open for him before you even had chance to fully process the words. He slid his finger into your mouth as your eyes locked with his.

“See how good you taste? Suck”.

You found yourself wanting to please him, and sucked his finger while rolling your tongue around it, ensuring there was nothing left on there. His eyes dropped to your lips to watch your handy work, as your lips tightened around his finger, and he bit his lip as he felt your tongue swirl around it. You were surprised at the taste, it wasn’t unpleasant at all. When he was satisfied you had done the job properly, he removed it from your mouth and inspected it to see if it was clean.

“Good girl. Now get up. You’ve had enough”.

“B-but…”

“No. No, babygirl, you haven’t got a say in this, get up right now. I’m taking you home to get dressed. You do as I say, when I say, without question. Remember??”

He spoke firmly, his voice was all domineering, with a smug hint to his final word. You couldn’t argue, you knew it would make him mad, but his voice and the dominance he was expressing made the ache between your legs ten times worse. In this moment, you wanted nothing more than to feeling him inside you, but you knew you’d have to wait.

“Yes, I remember. I’m sorry daddy”.

“Hmm, you will be. It looks like I’m going to have to teach you a lesson. I will make sure you never forget again”.

“Daddy, ple-”

He cut you off midsentence, pushing his finger to your lips firmly. You moved your head back a little at the unexpected contact, and your breath hitched. You wouldn’t admit it, but it made the ache grow even strong, which you thought was impossible. Any contact he permitted you sent electrical pulses through your being. You weren’t sure if you could tolerate having to look at him all day, without feeling him inside of you.

“No talking, get up right now. Do as your told or this will only be worse for you. Don’t you think you already need punishing enough?”

You did as you were told, and stood up without saying another word. You watched him pull on a fresh shirt and sweats quickly. How could he look this good in lazy clothes? Your thoughts quickly turned back to the issue at hand. Suddenly your mind was reeling, what punishments did he have instore for you this time? Surely it wouldn’t be any worse than last night. You looked over to him stood by the door, a huge smirk spread across his lips, lust filling his eyes, and his erection pushing against his loose sweats.

“Come on, we don’t have all day. Tae is waiting”.

(All rights reserved.)

Breakfast

Pairing: Okieriete Onaodowan x unnamed Female reader
Words: 1885
Rating: Mature (It’s smut y’all)
Warning (not really): This is my first smut ever! You can probably tell by the style of writing that I’m more acquainted with writing in a 3rd person narrative instead of the 2nd person, which isn’t usually the best for smut. But I tried my best and I will continue to try and improve my smut writing skills. Besides that, I am more familiar with writing angst and fluff. Appreciate Oak more!I’m open to requests since it’s summer where I live, so go and send them in! Enjoy! 


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Any Stanfou head canons to cheer a sad little shipper up? ❤️

Aw, of course my wonderful headcAnon. :3

Originally posted by jazzielpunkdixon

- Lefou asking Stanley to teach him how to read, but not giving a reason.

- Him doing so, and not expecting a letter some sessions later.

- Lefou still misspelling some words, but Stanley being a blushing and giggling mess, and as soon as he sees Lefou he just attacks him with kisses.

- Them giving eachother nicknames, and addressing them as those nicknames as they talk to other people about their lover.

“Now, who is this ‘cuddlebear’ you keep talking about?”

- Lefou visiting Gaston’s grave with Stanley and talking about how he had wished things would’ve gone differently, but also how he’s kind of glad they didn’t, seeing as he wouldn’t know how to continue their friendship after what happened at the castle.

- He thanks Gaston as well, because he would never know how it would’ve gone between him and Stanley if Gaston had lived.

- Stanley squeezing Lefou’s hand slightly as tears start forming in his eyes, and Lefou giving him a big hug in return.


Oof that went sad. Sorry. Back to the domestic fluffness.


- Stanley being AFRAID AS FUCK of teeny tiny creatures, such as spiders or bees.

- Him yelling Lefou’s name in horror, as he stands on the table pointing at the eight-legged monstrosity (which is actually just the smallest spider you’d ever see.

- Lefou teasing him; “I don’t know, I actually have to go now.”

- “JACQUES I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BURN THIS HOUSE DOWN”

- The thing Lefou likes most is nose-kisses. Or just nose-touches. Just anything cute and fluffy with their noses.

- They cuddle as close as they possibly can during cold winter nights, (and sometimes even on hot summer nights, because fuck it, they love eachother and they don’t care if they literally melt.)

- Stanley organizing private fashion shows for Lefou, wearing his best dresses, wigs and make-up.

- Lefou cheering him on, perhaps a little bit too loud, but he doesn’t care. His boy is SLAYING IT.

- Stanley singing Lefou to sleep, on hard nights. And vice versa.

- Sometimes it just turns into a sleepy duet, which results into them both passing out, tangled in eachothers arms.

- Lefou keeps buying Stanley flowers.

- like

- he does not stop.

- It just results into their entire house being overflown with flowers, and there being lots of bees.

- And Stanley locking himself up in the bathroom aka the only room without flowers in it until Lefou comes home and puts the flowers outside.


Hope I could cheer you up. :)

Dear Voltron Fandom

I’m so sick and tired of the discourse. I know the voice of one kid isn’t just gonna magically stop this, but please take a moment to read this.
Pulling the people who work on this show into your petty little arguments about fictional characters isn’t going to make anything better. This is a cartoon. A god damn cartoon.
Everyone who works on this show does the best they can to cater to their fans, and if we keep disrespecting them like this, they’re probably just gonna give up. Stop fucking harassing the voice actors because you don’t like the idea of two FICTIONAL CHARACTERS getting together. Leave Bex and Josh alone. Leave everyone else alone!
If you see something you don’t like, just scroll past it! It’s that easy! Don’t tell people to kill them selves, don’t scream at the cast and crew, just mind your own damn business and keep scrolling.
I swear to god, some of you people are just as bad as toddlers! Throwing a hissy fit because you don’t get what you want. News flash, assholes, the world doesn’t revolve around you!
Sorry I’m being a douche, but I’m just sick and tired of this. Can we just go back to being a peaceful, respectful community instead of this hellish shithole? Can we just leave people be?
The cast and crew are so exhausted because of us. We all need to learn how to respect them. We need to show how much we appreciate the fact that they brought a show this amazing into our lives. We need to stop being selfish.
Please, can we just end this battle? It’s not getting us anywhere.

BTS Reaction to Meeting Your Best Friend.

Anon asked: Can you react to BTS meeting your best friend for the first time?

A/N: I made a lot of these like my best friends so I’ll probably have to show this to them.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello mom ♡ how are you today? Can you do 26 for haechan please?

Haechan + #26: “Oh yeah, you really told him, didn’t you?

“Listen, we gotta talk.” You tried to keep your voice steady when Haechan opened the door, but your nervousness made your sentence shake.
“You okay?” He asked, worried. Who wouldn’t be, when a friend shows up at your dorm unannounced at nearly midnight.
“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.” Haechan frowned, not convinced at all. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“No, no, nothing, I’m okay I swear.” You tried to smile to look convincing. By the look on Haechan’s face, he didn’t buy it. 
“Look, come in, it’s cold.” Haechan swung the door open further, and nearly pulled you inside. “Sit down, breathe. Do you want tea? Something to eat?”
“No, I’m fine just-” You took a deep breath. “Just please…sit down. I need to talk to you.”
“Okay, sure fine.” Complying, he sat beside you on the couch and looked at you, waiting for you to tell him whatever seemed to be eating you alive. 
“Here it goes,” You sighed, closing your eyes hard so you didn’t have to look him in the eye. “I love you guys, you know that right? I like being around you and the minis and the older boys, I like being your friend and getting to come over and play and join you all when you eat and I treasure that, okay? You know that?”
“Of course I know that!” Haechan almost scoffed, if it wasn’t for your distressed state. “That’s not what this is about, though. Is it?”
“No, just let me finish.”
“Okay, okay.” Haechan tossed his hands up in defense. “Go on.”
“I love seeing you guys, you’re my closest friends, and I never want to lose you so I didn’t want to say this, but Mark won’t let it go so here it is. I rea-”
“-I heard my name, who’s talking about me!” The blonde poked his head out of the connected bedroom, eyes lighting up when he realized it was you.
“Yo when I said you should tell, I didn’t expect you to come over now! Really excited to spill, huh?” Mark asked and entered the living room, looking between you and Haechan. “Oh yeah, you really told him, didn’t you?” 
“I was-”
“So when’s the wedding?” Mark snickered, “I get to be the best man, right? I’ll be mad if I set this up and I’m not.”
“Tell me wha-”
“I was trying to tell him but you interrupted you idio-”
“Oooh can I be the god parent of your kids too? I saw that on a show once, looked kinda fun, I wanna do it too.”
“Mark, what’re you talking abou-” Haechan frowned at his friend, eyes bouncing back between you and Mark’s exchange. 
“I swear to god if you don’t shut your mouth and let me speak, I’ll gut you.”
“Is that how you speak to your brother in law?” Mark feigned hurt. “And here I thought you said you wouldn’t let your love for Haechan change our relationship!”
“Love for Hae-what?” Haechan’s confusion rose. “Mark, I don’t understand.”
“Mark would you shut your big trap for ten seconds?” You nearly screeched before realization overcame the boy’s face.
Oh….so you didn’t tell him….did you?” Mark slowly pieced together what was going on, before he had popped in. “Oh…oops? I’ll um….just be in my room…night guys!”
He couldn’t leave fast enough, almost like he could feel your glare burning into his back.
“So, wanna explain what in the heck that was about?” Haechan, still as confused as ever, asked.
“Dammit Mark.” You cursed to yourself. “Alright, might as well just spit it out. I like you, Haechan. And I told Mark because he’s my friend and your friend and I thought he’d know if you liked me too and I’m sorry if I just ruined our entire friendship and please tell the kids I love them and I’ll never bother you agai-”
“Can I interrupt, or are you not finished?” Haechan snickered at the dumb look on your face as you nodded with your mouth hung open. “Cool. Mark’s the worst wing man in the world, he didn’t tell you did he? Figures, he’s kind of useless like that. I like you too. Now stop rambling, do you want any noodles now? Taeyong hyung made dinner.”
Dumbly, you nodded again, letting a grin grow. He likes me back. Yes!

Hello bby! im great i got a new kitten and i love him i named him taeyong

[NCT Drabble Game]

My pretty little pet

AN: oh lord in all the 9 heavens above this is a taste of sin I need again. It’s a Spencer smut and I just love him being a dim and using his breathy interrogation voice on his partners, he is just….so beautiful….ugh oh honey let me tag a fav who might enjoy this. @dontshootmespence


Looking in the mirror you smiled fingers running over the fresh marks Spencer had left on you, decorating your skin in reds and purples. You smirked feeling Spencer’s slender arms wrap around your waist
“Might wanna cover those up Morgan and Garcia will be relentless if they see them” you shivered as Spencer’s breath tickled your ear, his teeth gently nipping at the spot below your ear lobe. A small moan escaping your throat, you felt him smirk his hand moving around to your front running his short nails over your thighs, scratching up to the edge of your shorts, fingers dancing along the hem,
“Mmmm I wish we could….but work calls, Hotch is already suspecting, if we show up late with sex hair it is gonna be a very awkward meeting between us three, and I would love to be able to look my boss in the face.” Spencer laughed against your neck pulling away. You could hear him rifling though his desk before coming back to his original position. His head laying on your shoulder
“So I have a surprise for you….wanna see?” Nodding he held up a black choker, thick and velvet, the middle held a small raven head, a nod to your favorite poet
“Is this a necklace or more? I hope for both” Spencer slipped the choker over your neck smiling, his finger locking the clasp in the back moving his hand to show you the key hanging around his ring finger.
“You…are mine….my beautiful…beautiful little submissive pet….this is our way to show everyone who you belong to, this is our reminder, that this” his hand slid quickly down the front of your sleep shorts causing a sharp gasp to exit your throat as his hand cupped you his finger moving slowly up and down
“This right here…look at yourself….this right here is mine…all mine” Your eyes moved to the mirror seeing Spencer watching you, your face flushed, mouth open slightly, as his finger moved up and down your slick folds,
“Sir….fuck…please….can…can I please” he already had you ready to cum in less then three minutes, a new record for him, he knew it, the smirk on his lips showed it, his eyes usually so soft and caring, now showed his dominate side, him behind the closed doors of your apartment, the side that yanked your hair tight as he thruster into you, his grunts causing you to clench around him. Him at home was your master, him at work was sweet Dr. Spencer Reid, mind so big he had a statistic for how big it was.
“You want to cum, so quickly, my little slut wants me to let her cum…” you felt the edge near as you moaned
“Please…please….sir…please” Spencer’s fingers moved quickly over your clit, circling it quickly.
“Then cum for me you little slut….cum right now” with that you fell off the edge, body spasming as Spencer worked you through it his teeth nipping at your earlobe.
“So beautiful my little pet…”


Walking into the office you smiled at Penelope as you passed her feeling your self be tugged back spinning around
“That is a choker only my once dark goth queen soul would kill for, where did you get it?” Laughing you shrugged
“I found it, when I was off over the weekend, figured my old goth heart could use an outlet, nodding to my weird crush on Edgar Allen Poe…well I figured let’s show the world who I belonged to….the dark heart of Poe” Penelope snorted, shoving your arm
“Nice, its cute, like a gothic kitty collar” you swear you felt Spencer smirk.
“Yeah…I guess…um pen I gotta go see if brain boy has finished my copy of the best works of poe and knowing him he finished it in less then an hour…” smiling you walked back towards Spencer’s desk, looking at him
“I felt the smirk from all the way over there, God you are so lucky i don’t…” you could see his eyebrow raise
“Don’t what? Am I gonna have to keep track of strikes? Threatening sir with threats is against his rules,” you smirked as he leaned closer to you, quickly moving his hand up to brush something off your face,
“Make a wish kitten” blowing the eyelash you smirked
“Let’s hope it comes true…doctor” you were his pretty little play thing….and playing was only half the game.