best picture he ha

A mix of things I love: summer, beaches and Lance ☆

i’m reading a very manly 1950s account of a hunt for el dorado but i’m thirty pages in and the narrator has already described his traveling companion as “handsome” 4 times, “extremely handsome” twice, “exceedingly handsome” once, his voice as “quietly husky” and “a husky whisper,” his fingers as long and deft, his body as “tall and cat-like,” and his eyes as some variation of ice-blue at least three times.

just men being dudes. dudes being pals. it’s great. this is great.

Hi hello I have an update

My parents and my high-school drama teacher got my drawing signed by the entire Hamilton cast

I cried

its dorky headcanon time: phones addition

  • Kimberly has the weirdest songs for all the Rangers ringtones. Trini’s is Holla Back Girl, Billy is the Cuppycake song, Zack’s the fucking Thomas the Tank Engine theme song, and Jason is just the sounds of various people being continuously slapped. 
  • She once retaliated for them making fun of her silly song choices by changing her own ringtone on all their phones to a loop of the intro to Gimme More complete with “IT’S BRITNEY BITCH”, and called them at inopportune times. The only one who kept it was Zack.
  • Trini doesn’t actually have their names as her contact list. She’s nicknamed them all and she’s said herself she’s screwed if she ever loses her memory or has to get someone else to call them for her.
  • What’s better is that they end up as her emergency contacts, instead of her parents. They are: Jigglypuff, Troy Bolton, 3dgelord and Blue’s Clues.
  • Everyone gets at least four snapchats a day of Pearl, because Jason adores his little sister and she loves how much her brother is spending more time with her now, he used to be such an ass (actual snapchat that all five Rangers have saved to their phones).
  • Jason also started up an Instagram for the Power Rangers, heavily fortified by Billy and Alpha A, and it has over five million followers and consists of various selfies, vine-like sketches and dance routines the Rangers perform in their suits. Zordon Disapproves but fuck him. There were concerns about people working out who they are from them, but they only get posted once Alpha A scans and approves them for maximum security.
  • Billy texts his friends regularly and the content could almost be called a shitpost if not for the fact 70% of them are deadly serious. He ends up making a group chat especially for his impulsive questions and statements to them, and they all always make an effort to reply as soon as they can, especially if they’re specifically addressed.
  • 70% might be serious. But they have no idea which ones are. Billy regularly trolls them with actual shitposts and laughs to himself over how Serious they all take him asking who decided pickled cucumbers were going to be called just pickles and not another pickled food.
  • Zack. Okay Zack goes out of his way to catch his friends in the worst derps possible. He has an entire folder in his phone and Cloud devoted to derps of his friends. Currently topping the charts is Trini right before a sneeze and Jason in the middle of tripping up the stairs to the Morph pads. Their pictures in his contacts are the best derps he has at that given time.
  • His mother adores them, some she sees immediately because he sends them to her and others she sees later after chess games, when Zack excitedly gushes about his friends and shows them all to her “look what *ranger name* did today, aren’t they the best??”

DeanCas Coda to 12x11: Regarding Dean

Laying on his bed and absently flipping through pictures on his phone, Dean quietly admits to himself that he remembers everything. For the most part, this isn’t an issue (though Rowena’s life story is… surprising), but when it comes to his family, the whole thing was kinda telling.

For example, he didn’t remember his mom. Or Sam. Or Cas. But it’s more than that because… because he knew Sam’s face. He may not have known his name, but he knew Sam was safe and kind and good. Positivity and safety was associated with him. Same with Cas. But Mom?

Mom was a blank slate. 

And he knows he should feel bad about that, but honestly the only damn thing he can think about is that he knew Cas’s face. Sam is unsurprising. Hell, even Mom’s is, to a certain degree—in the months she’s been back, it’s clear they’re virtually strangers—but Cas.

Sure, Cas is family. 

Sure, Cas is his best friend.

But he has pictures of Ellen and Jo and Ash and Charlie on his phone and he felt nothing for them, because…

Well, because…

‘Cause he’s in love with Cas.

Dean swallows thickly, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes as he minutely shakes his head. “Fuck.”

He’s so screwed.

2

I was feeling terrible because I forgot to commemorate my cat’s eighth adoption anniversary, but I just learned that tumblr will make gifs from videos! So here are some pics of my imperious kitty while he’s trying to go to sleep despite my interferences.

Maid - Joker x Reader imagine part 5 (ok whats happening ive gotten so far)

a/n: HIIIII *nervously sweats and smiles* i cant believe im writing another part with 600 followers, this is insane! i love you all so much. so this part is like… idk they talk and such. i just got this idea. btw, it’s immediately after the last part, immediately, okay? and oh, the joker has two bathrooms - one with a bath and the other has been mentioned before. oh the picture isnt mine - its not the best joker edit cause he has eyebrows here and his eyes arent dark but i will forgive the person :D

characters: why do i bother but JOKER and READER

warnings: nudity, smut once in a while, bathing together (idk is that a warning? :D)


J stood up from the bed, looking at me. The emotions in his eyes were changing. It looked like he was trying to resist something. With a growl, he placed his hands on my sides and lifted me off the bed, placing me on my feet. He reached out his hand and I looked at it. I was still a bit afraid of him, he could kill me too. Any moment. J then took my hand in his, not caring about the way I looked at it. He never took my hand, either home or in public, and it felt weird, different. He dragged me to the door of his bigger bathroom and faced me.

“Stay here.” J said, pointing his finger at me. I nodded. He opened the door and went into the room. I sighed. Couldn’t I just go to sleep? I was so tired… How wasn’t he? All day out, business, sex, and he could still ran around the world. How is that possible? 

What was he doing in the bathroom? He never did anything by himself except killing people. 

J returned shortly after I started wondering about his actions and he pulled me into the room, closing the door after. He had turned on the lights, and I heard the water running in the bath. There were towels on the floor next to it. He had prepared a bath for me? For us?

I looked at him, he seemed calm. He walked me to the bath - it was in the size to fit four people next to each other on the small side, but ten people next to each other on the longer side. He again placed his hands on my sides and placed me into the bath full of warm water. 

J got in himself and laid down, so only his shoulders and head were out of the water. His hand stretched out for me and I hesitantly gave him my hand. J pulled me down, so I was laying on him and moved us up in a sitting position. I was sitting between his legs, mine around his waist, my back against the side of the bath. We were in such position that there was no way he didn’t like to show that he was in charge. Joker turned off the water and turned back around to me. His one hand on my cheek, and the other one on the back of my thigh, J looked me deep in the eyes.

“I feel like…” he looked up, in thought, then looked back at me. “There is something bothering you, angel.” He stated. “You haven’t spoken much, you act a little different. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

I took in a deep breath and exhaled, looking down, avoiding his gaze. I have to tell him, even if he’ll think I’m vulnerable and weak. If he wants to know, he will.

“I-I’m afraid..” I finally said.

“Afraid?” His non-existent eyebrows furrowed above his eyes and he lifts my chin up to him. “Of what?”

“I-I, it’s-”

“Is it my men? I can-”

“No, it’s not them.”

“Who is it then? Have you got somebody outside our home you’re afraid of? Your family? Friends?”

“No, J, it’s….” I sighed out a shaky breath. 

“Go on, tell me what you’re afraid of.”

“I’m.. afraid of you.” I said, looking him in the eyes.

“Me?” His face was a mix of several emotions. He drew back just a little bit. “Why? Did I…” his face hit the sight of realisation, “Oh..” J was looking down while a few tears escaped my eyes. “Why does me killing a man scare you?”

“Why? Why? Maybe because that’s never happened to me.” I gained courage, I spoke, looking him in the eyes. “I have never seen you or anybody else kill someone. You were nice-ish to him and then you just shot him! Makes me think that you could kill me any moment.”

“If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it long ago and you know that, doll.” His face was close to mine again, his hands on both sides of my neck on the bath’s edge. “But.. since you’re loyal and I enjoy your company, I’m not going to kill you. I like you too much to kill you.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m scared of you! You terrified me tonight. You shot a man in the head and didn’t change a shade. How can a person do that?…”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, sweets, but… I’m not a regular person. Am I even a person? Who knows?” J chuckled. “But you don’t have to be afraid of me. Or anything else. I will protect you at all costs, my dear angel.” His hand stroked my cheek, placing his thumb in between my lips. “Does that ease your mind at any way?” He asked and I nodded. 

J moved his lips down to mine and kissed them roughly as his hand slid down my body and stopped at my heat, placing his hand over it. I inhaled a sharp breath and kissed him back, reaching my arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into me. As his tongue entered my mouth, his fingers teased my entrance, making me whimper into his mouth. J pulled back suddenly.

“Do you want to touch me, baby doll?”

“What?” His words took me by surprise. 

“I said, do you want to touch me?” He repeated. “Can you touch me, doll? You’ve never touched me.” He spoke in my ear, stopping the actions of his fingers.

“Well, I-I..” I stuttered. “I don’t have much experience.” I admitted.

“Oh, I can teach you, baby.” He smirked. “Do you want me to?”

“Y-yes,” I replied, “If you do.”

“I very much do.” He said, laughing quietly. “Give me your hand.” J said, reaching out his other hand for mine. I put my hand in his and he guided it down between us(a/n: jesus h christ i swear to you i havE NEVER WRITTEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE SO IF ITS HORRIBLE IM SORRY IM JUST NOT A FAN OF …. DOING THIS TO A MAN). My breaths were shaky, I had never touched a male in that way before, I was nervous. He placed my hand on his member and started slowly moving it up and down. “Slowly, slowly…” he said and then let go of my hand, leaving it there. I looked at him. “Go on.” J urged and I nodded. Wrapping my fingers around, my hand slowly, gently moved up and down his length. J closed his eyes at the feeling and his hand worked on my intimate area, fingers pressing down, drawing circles. I moaned, my hand wrapping around his cock (a/n: god i hate this word) tighter and J groaned out.

“Oh, J…” I moaned out in a high-pitched voice when he entered me with his fingers. I started moving my hand faster up and down at the pleasure J was giving me.

“Yes, baby girl, just like that…” He sighed into my ear, curling his fingers and I was a moaning mess before him. Our actions continued for a while until we were both moaning and groaning each other’s names, close to our peak. I moved my hand up one last time before I felt him cum in my hand (a/n: ok so maybe this is against some erotic physics bc i’ve heard that a male can only cum once, while women can cum multiple times in a row but you know what? this is an imagine, this is not supposed to be reality so idgaf :)))) ). J’s fingers continued to work on me, he pressed his thumb on my clit and I moaned loudly.

“Cum, baby, come for me..” him whispering into my ear was what it took for me to reach my orgasm. Moans and J’s name left my mouth multiple times and I finally came over my high. I sighed, J taking his fingers out and chuckling. I was so tired, I could fall asleep at any moment. 

“That was wonderful, baby,” Joker spoke, smiling. “You did great.” He complimented, making me smile tiredly at him. He leaned down to my level - at the lack of energy I had, I was leaned back into the bath - and kissed my lips with a growl. 

“That was your first time touching a man, wasn’t it?” He asked and I nodded for a reply. “Your hands seemed so innocent…. As you do. No matter how many times I’ve fucked you and done other dirty things to you, you always look innocent and pure.” J spoke, making me laugh a little. J smiled at me laughing, it was a genuine smile. “Tell me… when I fucked you for the first time, was it… your first time?”

“Well…” I trailed off, sitting up straight so I was in his level, “my first time was with an asshole boyfriend from high school, but he never went all the way in… let’s just say, he didn’t reach my virginity wall so I don’t think it counted. God, that guy was a jerk…”

“Was he really? You know I could-”

“J, it’s alright, he wasn’t abusive or anything, don’t worry.” I stopped him. “He was just really annoying.”

“Well, then…. Do you regret having me take your first time?”

“No, I don’t.” I almost whispered, shaking my head with a smile.

“Flattering.” Joker purrs in my ear, his hands on my sides.

“J, I want to ask you something.”

“Anything, my doll.” He said, placing a kiss on my cheekbone. 

“Who’s Harley? The man mentioned her.”

“And why would anything he said be true? He didn’t do his part of the deal, so why should you take what he said to your head?”

“I saw the way your face changed when he mentioned her name. Tell me about her, I want to know.” I said.

“I’ll tell you, fine. Harley was a… beloved toy of mine for some time. Unfortunately for her, she left me a while ago. Even though she’s strong and knew how to fight, she couldn’t resist me after all. So I just… got rid of her one day.”

“Oh…” I replied. “Do you miss her?”

“No, I don’t. Never did.”

“Did you love her?”

“I don’t like that word, baby doll, never use it again in that context.” He growled. “But I didn’t. I told her I did, but I just used her for business.” As he spoke, i furrowed my brows, listening. “She was strong, naive and in love. Annoying, also. She realised it only after a long time and left.” He finished and there was silence for a while.

“You would… never do that to me, right, J?” I asked, my arms around my legs, knees resting against my bare chest. 

“Of course, not, doll.” J answered, resting his chin on one of my knees. “You’re different than her, better than her. More beautiful, smarter.”

“And how do I know you’re not lying to me now like you lied to Harley?”

“I told you that I would never treat you like her.” He sternly spoke. “But I also know that you’re smarter than her, you know when people are lying and when they’re telling the truth. So,” he traced his finger up my leg, “can you tell if I’m lying when I tell you that I will take care of you, keep you safe, never treat you like Harley… That you’re better, different, beautiful, smarter, attracting… Am I lying to you?” 

I decided to change things up a bit and smirked. I put my hands flat up against his chest and pushed him to the other side of the bath. Closer to the large window, where the moonlight was shining down. J was sat up against the bath’s side and I put my legs around his waist once again, my hand on his cheek.

“You’re not lying to me, I can see that.” I replied. “But have you ever lied to me?”

“I don’t think so, my dear angel.” He said, and rose up a little bit so he was even slightly above me. He hated to be the little one. “Have you ever lied to me?”

“No, J, I haven’t. And I promise I never will.” I said and kissed him on the lips. He felt different now. It felt like he was… in my power. What? Did I really have the Joker… weak? For me… 

He kissed back, trying to regain his power, but I wouldn’t let him. I wanted to take the chance of controlling him. I pushed him down and kissed him again, harder, my hand latching into his hair. I gripped his glowing green hair, tugging tightly on the roots and J let out a groan of pleasure, I think.

“Do you like that now?” I whispered with a smirk. J must’ve caught up with what I was trying to do and pushed me away slightly. He laughed and sat up, taking my wrists in his hands. 

“Nobody can be above me. Nobody can out-power me.” He snarled. “Now, you better apologise to Daddy before he changes his mind about being in a good mood.” He warned. Well, I have learned my lesson to never try that again.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I will never do that again.” I spoke in a more innocent tone that I wanted to. 

“Good.” He said. “Never try it again or Daddy will be very, very angry.” He warned and I nodded. “What do you want to do now, angel face?” His mood immediately changed. “Do you want to continue bathing or do you want to play a little…?” Joker smirked. Was he so turned on all the time? Always in the mood…

“I don’t know..” I trailed off. “What do you want to do?”

“I think Daddy wants to play some more. Would my doll mind?”

“I think your doll would very much enjoy that.” I smiled at him. 

“Why don’t you turn Daddy on a bit more? Could you do that, baby?”

“I could.” I smirked and moved a bit lower on him, right above his member. I moved around it, grinding down on J with my eyes closed. I got myself turned on, moving around his cock to get him hard. My mouth hang open as moans left my mouth, my breasts lowering onto J’s neck every time I went down.

“Alright, doll, that’s enough.” J spoke, holding my hips down to stop my movements. He was looking right into my eyes when he lowered me onto his length, making me moan out. J actually loved it when I was on top of him, he never told me, but he didn’t need to - I could see it, feel it even. He was always watching me intently from below, getting turned on more and more by the sight before him.

By my hips, he guided me up and then down again. He was going painfully slow, but he liked to tease me. I moaned out, eyes closing at the wonderful feeling and mouth agape caused by the moans. 

“P-please go faster, Daddy…” I begged and he moaned out himself. As asked, he picked up his pace to a deviously fast one, pounding in and out of me like there was no tomorrow. I was screaming, moaning, yelping, making very sound possible come out of my mouth. 

J placed one hand on my back and lowered my body down on his, kissing between my breasts. It drove me completely mad. I brought my nails down his chest to get relief somehow, scratching the pale white skin. There would be marks. His grip on my hips tightened so much it was painful, he was controlling my body in every way.

“O-oh, my God…” I moaned out. J whispered encouragements into my ear and I came for the third time tonight, along with him (a/n: damn joker trash back at it again with breaking the erotic physics rules). I fell on top of him once he had pulled out of me and breathed loudly, heavily. 

“Are you tired, baby girl?” J asked. I nodded, unable to speak. “I’ve tired you out, my doll. Rest now, I’ll take care of you.” He said and I rested my head against his chest. I traced over his many tattoos and got an idea.

“Daddy?” I asked with my last energy.

“Yes?”

“Can I get a tattoo?”

“Of course, sweets.” I heard him say right before I drifted off into sleep.

a/n: aLRIGHT THIS IS IT FOR TODAY MY PERVERTED FRIENDS I LOVE YOU ALL THIS WAS PRETTY HARD TO WRITE I WAS SINNING FORGIVE ME MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST BYE YA’LL

Night Talks

The night after she goes to her calling he looks out his window before bed and he talks to her. The moonlight shining on the tears that streak his face. He tells her he misses her. That he is not sure how to do this rulership thing without her. That his bed feels empty and cold without her beside him. That his heart feels empty and cold knowing that she is gone. That he can’t do this. And then he just sobs in the darkness without her to hold him.

A few days later he talks to her about her funeral. How he barely managed to make it through his speech. Eamon wrote him one but when it came down to it he just spoke from the heart. He cried in front of everyone. If a strong king is not supposed to cry he does not want to be a strong king. Besides he was not the only one crying that day.

A few years pass. Every evening before he goes to bed he talks to her. He tells her about the laws he’s made. About the ridiculous noble woman who try to show off their daughters in front of him. How he can’t believe he has not screwed the country up yet. How he has noticed his first few grey hairs. He expects his calling will come soon.

A few more years. He stares up at the moon and stars. He’s grown a beard. His hair is starting to recede Does she know he can still picture her laughing face? Every time someone bests him in combat he has flashbacks to her. The new generation did not even know the blight. He wonders what she would think about this new treaty. The servants asked him if he wants a single bed. He said no. His calling must be coming any day now.

A few more years. His hair is graying. He had pain in his back yesterday. The healers tell him it’s normal not a sign of old age. He knows better. He’s not as quick as he used to be. He never considered the possibility of old age. He always thought to die by her. The advisers are begging him to marry. He can’t bring himself to do it. Where is his calling?

A few more years. He’s done it. He’s married. Maker forgive him. He can’t let Ferelden have a civil war. A foreign princess. She’s pregnant. There will be an heir. And maker forgive him once again, while bedding her in the new bed he got all he could think of was her. Don’t worry the princess is not half as good. And maker the look she gave him when she found out he sometimes raided the larder for cheese! Why has he not had his calling?

A few more. The old man gazes out the window. He caught his wife cheating. He was happy. It’s been killing him this farce. It’s aged him as well. He won’t even be able to fight darkspawn if he has his calling. He ennobled his wife’s lover. That way she can marry him when he is gone. She can be happy. He wishes her luck. Strangely their son reminds him more of her then his wife. He has the same cockiness, the same temper… but the same gift with words. He’ll be a good King. Better then his father

A few more. Alistair Theirin lies in the bed he once shared with his first wife. He’s dying. Every breath is an effort. He sent his wife and son away. When the fever takes and he starts displaying a brilliant smile the healers have never seen and talking in his delirium to his first queen the healers think they know why. Around midnight his fever breaks and he comes to himself. Enough to realize that his visions of her were just a dream. Never have the healers seen such a broken man. Around dawn the king draws his last breath.

Alistair Theirin finds himself in a grassy meadow next to a pond He feels young and strong again. His hair is full and colored. A quick look at his reflection in the pool reveals this, along with a face unlined by age. But the eyes are still sad, Suddenly the world freezes. There is another figure behind him in the pool’s reflection. He turns around desperately willing her to still be there only to find himself shoved unceremoniously into the water.

“That’s for making me wait so long!” Her voice rings out. He’s never heard a more beautiful sound.

As he comes up again he holds out his hands palms out “About the wife…” She brushes past the defensive gesture and presses her lip against his. And then he is kissing her like he wanted to all these past years. He wraps his arms around her and twirls her around. She lets out that little squeak he adores and thought to never hear again. When they come up for air she just looks at him. “I understand.” He wraps an arm around her shoulders and she snuggles against him

“So this is the maker’s side?” he asks.

“It seems so yes.” she is gazing at him happily.

He gestures to the weapons strapped onto her “and there are still bad things to kill here?”

She grins “I don’t know I’ve been waiting for you.”

He turns to face her, hands on her waist. “Well then we better get started.” And finally, the hero of Ferelden and her husband walk off to adventure together once again, while back in Thedas the kingdom mourns the good king’s passing never suspecting he is happier than he ever was while on the throne.

ok I’m just gonna say. The latest episode gives me the heebie jeebies for some reason.. 

My brother and I watching The 100:
  • Me: OMG!! OMG WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
  • My Brother: I'm pretty sure Bellamy just died.
  • Me: NO! DON'T SAY THAT! CLARKE NEEDS HIM! QUIT BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP.
  • My Brother: I can't. My ship has already sunk. Now I'm the kracken and I pull other ships down with me.

anonymous asked:

star trek group chat au. Kirk sends outdated memes. Spock is the king of memes. Uhura is the only one who can get the group to commit to plans. Bones mostly uses the middle finger emoji. Scotty sends pictures of alcohol and screwdrivers and is like 'drunk science!' Chekov forgets to switch language keyboards and no one knows what he's saying. Sulu lurks and has the best drunk pictures of everyone. Chapel and M'benga are like 'guys some of us are actually trying to do work thanks'

Bones and Scotty both occasionally just rant about something going wrong. They will ignore all other messages sent and will just go off until they’re done. Uhura will translate Chekov’s comments when they’re important or relevant. Chapel loses her mind when she discovers gif making and for three weeks she send nothing but shitty gifs of Bones being stressed. Rand only ever send back screenshots of other peoples comments as a sarcastic quote.

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