best of ever

when other people insult my dog i think about it for DAYS because how could you do that? what has he done to deserve this? leave him alone!! like yes, hes ugly, yes, hes fuckin dumb, but only i’m allowed to say that! you dont know him like that!! you aint fuckin homies!! fuck you!

Paid in Cocaine

Crusty boots in the corner of the closet by the tackle box
Once-proud shining silver buckles safe behind the normalcy locks
Baubles and bangles
A lost age
Still all aglow with the radiance of the stage
That’s who I was
This is who I am
Work to pay down the interest on the mortgage
Used to get paid by the gram

Long Beach
Long Beach, can you hear me?
Can you hear me, Long Beach?
Long Beach
Long Beach, can you hear me?
Can you hear me, Long Beach?

Master tape from the show we did at Fender’s back in ‘85
Dark paisley from Retail Slut
All four of us still fresh and alive
Flashes and phosphenes
It’s hard to believe that’s me
Strapped in, visibly sweating
As happy as I’m ever gonna be
You’re by my side
Five years left on your card
You’re cashing out, all dressed up
For your date with the emergency ward

Long Beach
Long Beach, can you hear me?
Can you hear me, Long Beach?
Long Beach
Long Beach, can you hear me?
Can you hear me, Long Beach?

from Goths (2017)

ShAmy : The “Best OTP ever” Progression

 Sheldon: All right, I’m ready for my next question.

Amy: In a world where rhinoceroses are domesticated pets, who wins the Second World War?

Sheldon: Uganda.

Amy: Defend.

Sheldon: Kenya rises to power on the export of rhinoceroses. A Central African power block is formed, colonizing North Africa and Europe. When war breaks out, no one can afford the luxury of a rhino. Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.

Amy: Correct. My turn.

Sheldon: In a world where a piano is a weapon, not a musical instrument, on what does Scott Joplin play The Maple Leaf Rag?

Amy: Tuned bayonets.

Sheldon: Defend.

Amy: Isn’t it obvious?

Sheldon: You’re right. My apologies.

Leonard: What the hell are you guys playing?

Sheldon: It’s a game we invented. It’s called Counterfactuals.

Amy: We postulate an alternate world that differs from ours in one key aspect and then pose questions to each other.

Sheldon: It’s fun for ages eight to eighty. Join us.

Leonard: All right. I like a good brainteaser. Give it a whirl.

Sheldon: You’re in luck, this is an easy one. In a world where mankind is ruled by a giant intelligent beaver, what food is no longer consumed?

Leonard: Uh, a BLT where the B stands for beaver? I don’t know.

Sheldon: Leonard, be serious. We’re playing a game here.

Leonard: I can figure this out, let’s see. Um, well, beavers eat tree bark. The only tree bark I know that humans consume is cinnamon. So, I’ll say cinnamon.

Sheldon: Incorrect. Obviously, the answer is cheese Danish.

Leonard: What?

Amy: In a world ruled by a giant beaver, mankind builds many dams to please the beaver overlord. The low-lying city of Copenhagen is flooded. Thousands die. Devastated, the Danes never invent their namesake pastry. How does one miss that?

Leonard: This is ridiculous. You’re just making stuff up.

Amy: Is he always like this when he loses?

Sheldon: Oh, yes. You should’ve been here for the great Jenga tantrum of 2008.

Leonard: You bumped the table and you know it.

Amy: Perhaps it would be kinder to play a game more suited to his abilities. We’ll close our eyes and count to ten while you hide.

Leonard: I’m going to my room.

Amy: Very good, Leonard. But next time, don’t tell us where you’re hiding. 

4 x 03 -  The Zazzy Substitution