best friends friend

Imagine Shawn’s mad at you, but you both had already committed to going to a party together so he picks you up just like he said he would the day before, before he was mad at you. He has a reason to be upset with you, but its nothing too serious, and you’re pretty certain it won’t last long. Neither of you talked about the argument, and you both didn’t have the time or energy to talk about it before the party. As you get into his car, you say hello, which he returns, but he doesn’t bother saying anything more as he drives out of the parking lot of your apartment building. Since you know you’re the one who upset him, you’re letting him take the lead on when you’ll sort it out and talk it through. You know him and you know there’s no point in taking about it until he’s ready. To be very honest, you’re surprised he still picked you up and wanted you to go to the party with him. He barely looks at you for the next few minutes, but just as the stoplight you were stopped at turns green, he presses the gas and at the same time, he chances a look at you. You’re staring straight ahead, but you see him in your peripheral vision. His voice almost startles you as he says, “You look really nice tonight.” He doesn’t mean anything by it except that he thinks you look nice. There’s no underlying message, no agenda for telling you that. He thought you looked nice and didn’t see the point in not telling you just because he was mad. His eyes are back on the road, and you know he’s still mad, but you try to hide a smile as you quietly say, “Thanks, you too.” And you always knew you would be alright, but that was just more confirmation. It warms your heart that even though he’s still so upset with you that he’s barely talking to you, he still takes the time to tell you you look nice.

one of my worst fear was that one day, someone is going to tell you i’m not worth it. i am not pretty enough or smart enough for you. i am not as good as you deserve but then I realised so what. you have had that option, everyday for the last four months. you have had that choice everyday since tenth of march but you chose me every minute of every day to stay. you chose to stay with me even if I am not smart enough or pretty enough. and I love the idea that maybe you won’t realise for the next four years that i am not worth it, and just by default decide to stay with me.
—  s t a y
w i t h
m e//
nikitagupta

Art by me
Writing by @bloomingednae

Day 2: Ladylake (Conflict/Trust) 

“And when, when I was off, which happened a lot,
You came to me and said, ‘That’s enough’”.

           -“Let’s Hurt Tonight” – One Republic

“For two, please.”

Mikleo outstretched his hand, which contained a few coins towards the cashier, who, it seemed, was finishing tidying up the cabinet area. The cashier woman was just about to take the money when she suddenly locked eyes with Mikleo and retracted her hand, head shaking furiously.

 “L-Lord Mikleo! I cannot accept such money; Lord Uno would have such a fit! Please, by all means, you and your companion can use the canal boats to your leisure.”

Mikleo chuckled and placed the few coins on the counter nonetheless. “You can tell Uno he can owe me another time; this one will be on me. May his blessing continue to watch over the people of Ladylake.”

The cashier began to become flustered as Mikleo left the money on the counter and walked passed the small booth towards the canal boats, Sorey in tow behind him. Sorey, in turn, low whistled and quirked his eyebrow at Mikleo.

“You hold nothing back, huh?”

Mikleo began boarding the boat and sat, patting the seat in front him indicating where Sorey should sit. “You’ve known me for how long and you still have to ask that?”

Shaking his head as he sat, Sorey laughed. “You got a point.”

As soon as he sat, the boat began to move forward along the canal ways, causing Sorey to jump a bit from his seat. He looked to his right to the city below him as well as the canal ways that circled around the city’s circumference. The canals circled around the main city in a spiraled manner, overlooking the city instead of riding through it. How the pillars that held up the canals filled with water was beyond Sorey; all the canals were detailed with beautiful carved designs, elegantly complimenting the make of the pillars as well as the architect below in the city. It was an astonishing sight in itself and Sorey wondered deep down if Mikleo witnessed the building of these canals.

Just as Sorey opened his mouth, Mikleo began to speak.

“Seventy five years. A couple of earth seraphs helped carve out the canal ways as well as carve the designs into each of them. Wind seraphs helped refine the edges, and the fire seraphs seared the designs to become permanent and unbreakable.”

“Uno wanted something for the humans to enjoy,” Mikleo continued. “As Lord of the Land, he felt the blessing level had risen so much, to the point that his seraphic power had increased and he felt that he should thank the humans in some way. It’s his artes that’s causing the boats to move naturally through the water right now, actually.”

He paused and looked over the city. “Lailah is extremely pleased how Ladylake has grown. New shepherds are being trained, the blessing level has increased so much, and she feels her own power growing since most of the sealing of the canal designs were by her artes. The blessing level has affected her artes to grow in power, to a certain extent.”

Sorey looked over the edge as well, seeing the city below him. It was still Ladylake but yet….not quite. Some of the architecture had begun to change and certain landmarks have been switched around; not to mention the unsettling statue of himself in the main square, depicting his travel as the Shepherd and his long slumber to put the world into a greater peace. His first impression of it was a little unsettling; seeing himself in the form of shaped rock wasn’t on his list of things to do.

But thinking back from when he was last in Ladylake, becoming the Shepherd and saving the world wasn’t on it, either.

He began to recall the events leading him up to that point. Running into Rose at the entrance, trying to find Alisha, stopping the hellions at the ceremony, and suddenly agreeing to be the Shepherd. They were all memorable memories; but the one that stuck out the most during that time was-

“Did you have any other questions, O Curious Seraph?”

The sound of Mikleo’s voice cut off his thoughts and he blinked back into reality. Mikleo’s gaze was unwavering , but inquisitive, waiting for Sorey to answer. Sorey began to laugh and shook his head. “Nah. Shouldn’t have expected less of you to give the most detailed expression without me asking.”

Mikleo rolled his eyes. “You can always trust me to read your mind without you asking, you know.”

As soon as Mikleo let that last part roll off his tongue, Sorey locked eyes with Mikleo, who stared back, sudden realization dawning over him. Mikleo looked away and towards the city, crossing his legs as he did so.

It was an interesting predicament they always found themselves in. When approaching a serious topic, they both knew what was about to be spoken of without even saying a word. So when a short silence befell between the both of them, they both accepted it and did not speak until one did.

Just as Sorey leaned forward to prop his elbows on his lap in front of him, Mikleo sighed.

“But of course, you couldn’t trust me back then, huh?”

Scenes of their dispute came fresh to Sorey’s mind as if it just occurred yesterday; the determination to fight in Mikleo’s eyes; Lailah’s expression of concern and uncertainty; his own heart pace increasing with frustration and anger of trying to make Mikleo not a part of his journey.

To say the least, they were heartbreaking expressions he would never want to see on Mikleo or Lailah’s expressions ever again. Moreover Mikleo, whom he had grown up with, been friends with, been lovers with-

Sorey shook his head and sighed. “You know it wasn’t like that, Mikleo.”

Mikleo let out a small laugh. “Yeah. I know now, obviously. We were seventeen, Sorey; far too young to know anything about the world that was around us at the time.”

Sorey nodded, remembering. What bothered him the most, though, was his lack of silent trust he usually had with Mikleo during that one argument. To Mikleo, their argument happened centuries ago, lost within the sands of time which Mikleo had experienced. To Sorey, though, it felt as if it only happened within the past year, still fresh in his mind.

Mikleo glanced over at Sorey, who currently seemed to be wracked with many thoughts. He leaned over and lightly flicked Sorey on the forehead, to which he responded with a low “Ow!” as be began to rub his forehead.

“Idiot. You can always trust in me to guide you and be that someone when you need a shoulder to lean on. Besides, someone’s gotta take care of you in this state; doubting Sorey is a no-good Sorey.”

Sorey furrowed his eyebrows. “What if I just like thinking?”

Mikleo rolled his eyes. “Please, I’ve known you long enough that you’re just a man of action and doing; words aren’t your greatest specialty.”

To this, Sorey laughed and relief washed over Mikleo like a wave. He smiled as he watched Sorey nod and agree towards Mikleo’s statements, green eyes glimmering with life. Mikleo knew Sorey still had a ways to go with alleviating the emotions of uncertainty within him since being a Seraph required much more emotional willpower than being a human, but, Mikleo realized, Sorey won’t be alone in the process.

He’ll have Mikleo by his side, with an undeniable trust and duty on Mikleo’s part to watch for Sorey no matter what.

He smiled even more at the thought of being with Sorey to watch him grow, when he suddenly realized he was being watched. Looking towards Sorey, he noticed Sorey was merely sitting there and just watching him with a look of content in his eyes.

Mikleo began to shift uncomfortably and looked off to the side. “W-what?”

Sorey grinned. “I know I’m no good at words. So would you trust me if I did this?”

Mikleo turned his head to face Sorey and before he knew it, Sorey leaned forward, placing a light kiss on his forehead. Without moving back to his seat, Sorey began to whisper softly.

“This is an apology for our conflict all those years ago.”

He proceeded to kiss Mikleo’s left cheek. “This is a thank you for always looking out for me during our journey.”

He moved on to Mikleo’s right cheek. “This is for waiting for me throughout all these years.”

As he pulled away, the undeniable tint of red that was across Mikleo’s cheeks were evident in Sorey’s eyes, but he merely smiled at Mikleo’s reaction before finally placing his lips upon Mikleo’s. It was brief, but long enough for Sorey to know that Mikleo was finally beginning to understand his intentions. He placed his forehead against Mikleo’s, feeling the coolness of the circlet against his own forehead.

“And that,” Sorey whispered in a low tone, “was a promise to never leave your side again for as long as I live.”

The tone in Sorey’s voice was endearing and full of honesty; Mikleo felt chills run down his spine and his eyes widened at hearing Sorey’s promise. All of it was almost too good to be true, most especially since the years of waiting in Sorey’s absence were the longest. But he came to the realization that it was both of them in that moment and only them; now and until whatever may come.

Slowly, Mikleo reached forward and found Sorey’s hands, intertwining his fingers. With a smile, Mikleo closed his eyes and came closer to Sorey.

“As will I.”

Let’s say all of the things that we couldn’t before,
Won’t walk away, won’t roll my eyes.

dear ex-bestfriend

people say you never forget you first love, well I think you never forget you first bestfriend. I know we haven’t talked in days, actually months which is so ironical because there was a time, we couldn’t go even an hour without talking to each other. I saw your pictures the other day on some social media, you looked happy in them. I think that is all I ever wanted for you, to be happy and content with yourself, to be less judgemental and way more accepting of your flaws. and i am so glad you got that. some part of me wishes i was there to see it happen, not just in pictures but in real life. I don’t know what really happened that day, the day we stopped talking, we didn’t even fight with each other. I guess we just gave up on our friendship when we stopped getting each other and the problems we were facing. I know they save when your first love leaves you it hurts like a bitch, i think I fell in love with you, not in a romantic way but in a way friends fall for each other. I fell in love with your hugs, and the smiles we exchanged in the hallways and the brownies we shared in the lunch breaks and the way you would pick up my phone even at 3 am and cheered me up. I miss you but you taught me the most important lesson even while leaving me, to let go. You taught me how to let it be and accept some things, even if they leave you high and dry, accept the things you can’t change. you taught me how to smile when shit got hard. and I hope someday when we’re older we meet in some small bakery with perfect oreo brownies and smile at each other like nothing ever changed all those years back.

anonymous asked:

Do you think Lily should have stayed friends with Severus? I mean, no matter how true or false this impression was, from her point of view he surrounded himself by people who were practicing 'dark magic', seemed to have bigoted beliefs (even if some did not, i am sure many Slytherins did in those troubled times), and some of who expressed some desire to join Voldy after school. If you were Lily, a muggleborn during Voldemort's first rise to power, would you stay friends with him?

I think, from the snapshots we saw, Lily’s position in canon was untenable.

It’s a little difficult to discuss in a satisfactory manner, because we are missing so much information.  There is an incongruity between Severus’ depth of feeling for Lily, and his move to become a Death Eater.  We don’t know a lot about Death Eater rhetoric - and it’s fair to present a stance that might suggest a world where Voldemort ruled but Lily was accepted (see Hagrid’s statement to Harry in PS).  

With that in mind, perhaps Severus thought he could have it all; be a Death Eater and be friends with a Muggleborn - we really don’t know a lot about his thought processes and what he was attempting to achieve.  Maybe he didn’t even intend to be a Death Eater - he was a friendless kid who just went along with the mantra of his house because being aligned to someone/something was better than nothing, who knows.  (We’ve explored a lot before about how there aren’t many other paths credibly open to him.)  I must admit, I struggle with the common belief that he was trying to have it all knowing that Lily wouldn’t be welcomed into his world.  For all his faults, he’s not a stupid boy.

But most importantly, we know little about their friendship - we don’t know how often they socialise, what they speak about, how they behave towards each other.  I’ve posted before about how Lily isn’t really Severus’ ‘best friend’ by that point in fifth year, despite her assurances to the contrary - so the question is, when did that change occur?  Were they ever best friends?  Was it a recent change, due to his behaviour?  Or was it long coming, and set in motion from Cokeworth?  

The crux is, as canon stands, Lily was completely correct to distance herself from him.  It’s obvious to the reader that she delivers him an ultimatum, but he doesn’t register it / understand it, and continues upon his path.  When she breaks things off with him, he’s blindsided because he doesn’t really think that what he’s done is irreparable - but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t the correct course of action for Lily.

Stepping away from canon, it would be interesting to know if/when their relationship shifted - and if there was any way of salvaging their friendship.  Would Severus have responded in the way Lily wanted him to if she’d not hinted, but explicitly said, “If you keep aspiring to be a Death Eater, we’re over.” - would that ultimatum cause him to change his course?

So to answer your question, no, of course not.  Severus was not Lily’s obligation, nor was she his therapist, and she did not hold any responsibility for him.  She was not even his moral guide - she did not have to tell him when he was out of line, and convince him to behave in a more acceptable way.  She judged him on his behaviour and decided she wanted no more of it.  That is absolutely fine and understandable.

I would suggest that there is an interesting discussion to be had about the depth of their friendship, and whether a best friend would’ve intervened sooner - before it got to the point where continuing as friends wasn’t an option.  I think that’s what these discussions usually come back to - it’s never a critique of Lily’s final decision, but instead scrutiny of what exactly their friendship entailed…because it really doesn’t sit together in a satisfactory way.

The bit that always breaks my heart is that Severus’ later depth of feeling for Lily rather suggests that she was one of the most important people in his life - and yet, I never quite feel the same is true for Lily.  You asked me if I would stay friends with him if I was in Lily’s shoes…and really, the point is, I would never have let my friendship get to that stage with him.