Okay, let’s just discuss the Weasley Twins in Slytherin, because, let’s be real, these boys were some cunning and ambitious mofos.
Fred got Sorted first. He and everybody else thought he’d be in Gryffindor just like the rest of his family.
The Hat thought differently. Like, as soon he touched Fred’s hair, the Hat was like, ‘lol, nah bro. You Slytherin AF.’
So like, it’s a minute of silence before Fred just shrugs, like ‘a’ight’. And he goes and sits down and everybody just kind of blinks before McGonagall calls George’s name and the crowds like ‘okay the Weasleys can still redeem themselves.’
Then George is Sorted into Slytherin as well.
McGonagall’s eyebrow is twitching like she can just sense what kind of trouble the Twins of Terror are going to cause.
Seven years later as they cause the best fucking dramatic exit ever, she just tosses her hands in the air and goes ‘CALLED IT.’
But yeah, first year and people think they’d be uncomfortable af, right?
They manage to find the Slytherin Common Room, and figure out the password before the Prefects can tell them so when everybody is flooding in, ready to go to bed that night, they just see Fred and George Weasley sprawled on the couches like, ‘Sup?
Snape hates them instantly. And he’s hella pissed because they are FUCKING AMAZING at potions. Like, they might be better than him- not that he’d ever admit it.
And so they’re left alone for the first month, because nobody knows what to do with them???? Cuz, like they’re pulling pranks left and right, and every now and then they’ll sit with their brothers???? At the Gryffindor table????
BUT, one day, some annoying-ass seventh year Slytherin calls them ‘blood traitors’, and he’s laughing like he’s proud but then he glances at them and sees they just have this look in their eyes.
The next day, as everyone floods in for dinner, the seventh year is found in the Great hall hanging from an ankle, completely decked out in Gryffindor colors
Fred and George Weasley are never messed with again
ALSO THEY MAKE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS AND DEFEND EVEN THE SEVENTH YEAR SLYTHERINS BECAUSE THEY REALLY AREN’T THAT BAD. YOU IDIOTS ARE THE ONES WHO ARE BEING DISCRIMINATORY
Fred hears a Gryffindor call the very same Slytherin from before a ‘death eater’ and legit just yells ‘FIGHT ME’ and straight up tackles the Gryffindor
The Slytherin just kind of stares and is like …why??
George comes upon and tosses his arm around his brother’s shoulders and says “Just consider the Weasley Twins as Slytherin’s last defense line.”
And then Christmas is coming up, and they’re kind of, maybe, a little bit, very scared of going home because they’re ENTIRE family has been in Gryffindor. Like- every. Single. One. of. Them.
They mention it to Bill, and he just scoffs and calls them wimps.
They’re the first ones through the Burrow’s door that holiday. They also learn, thanks to their mother, that their uncles Fabian and Gideon were both considered to be put in Slytherin.
Couple months later they get the Marauders Map, but that a whole other thing
And then for years, they’re wreaking havoc upon Hogwarts. Nobody is safe from their pranks, and every other week you can hear them talking about the joke shop they’re going to create.
During the twins’ fourth year, as more and more people become petrified, the entire Hospital wing is covered with balloons, and streamers, and everything to make brighter and happier. Nobody found out who did it.
Draco Malfoy and other ignorant people who use disgraceful words disappear for a week that year.
Also, when Hermione was in the library she found a piece of paper with pipes? written on it. That’s when it hits her. She never finds out who left it on the table.
The next year, the twins practically worship the ground that Remus Lupin walks on. They also meet an adorable dog that looks like the Grimm, and legit let it sleep in their room more often than not.
Their roommates are just like WTF???? But they don’t give a fuck, because let’s be real, these boys did nearly everything out of spite.
During their sixth year, there’s a LOT of shade thrown and bitter bitchiness.
and they totally didn’t use the foreigner’s ignorance to be able to prank them via their Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes cuz that’d be cruel, and wrong, and mean, and bad
Yeah, they 100% did
During the opening ceremony of their seventh year they walk into the great hall and see a toad wearing pink from head-to-toe and they exchange this very, very sly grin that has the underclassmen around them shaking
McGonagall sees it and just starts snickering to herself.
If everybody thought the Weasley Twins were terrible before… it was nothing to how they were that year.
Like, they manage to get a detention during the feast. Over the last six years they had racked up about 350 detentions. That year they, collectively, gained 462 detentions.
There weren’t even that many days year.
They broke the Marauders’ record. Remus and Sirius refused to talk to them for the first week after they left Hogwarts because of how bitter they were.
A day after they dropped out of Hogwarts they received a Howler that just said “UMBRIDGE IS FUCKING PISSED AS HELL!!!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BOYS!”
They went to an Order meeting after getting it, and McGonagall is there and all she says to them is; “get any interesting mail today, boys?”
AND THEN THE FUCKING BATTLE OF HOGWARTS
THE BOYS LEAD THE TROOPS INTO BATTLE, AND THE TROOPS ARE SLYTHERINS AND IT’S GREAT BECAUSE THEY’D KNOW DEATH EATERS BEST AND CAN HELP THE MOST
THEY PROTECT THE YOUNGER ONES AND THEY USE WEASLEY’S WIZARD WHEEZES LEFT AND RIGHT
BLAISE ZABINI SAVES FRED WEASLEY’S LIFE BECAUSE THIS WAS THE MAN WHO HAS STOOD UP FOR SLYTHERINS FROM DAY ONE
AND THEN SLYTHERINS ARE SPECIFICALLY THANKED FOR HELPING TO WIN THE WAR!!!! AND IT’S FUCKING GREAT
ALSO IF ANYBODY EVER NEEDS TO GET INTO THE SLYTHERIN COMMON ROOM THEY CAN JUST SAY: “THE WEASLEY TWINS: SLYTHERIN’S LAST DEFENCE LINE”
“That was brilliant!” you say once you catch your breath. George laughs, “I know right. You should have seen her face. Best day ever.” Fred nods his head in agreement, “Best exit ever. We went out as legends. Everyone is going to remember that for years.” You chuckle, “They better. It was bloody brilliant.” “That it was,” says George and Fred in unison.
No but seriously guys, after the war, nico being 9000% done with the seven being the seven together and one day Jason tries to pull him into their shenanigans and nicos just like nope and falls backward/melts into the shadows while flipping them off and it’s literally the best exit ever
“Well that was a bust.” Sam and Dean walked out of the police station. “What now?”
Sam shrugged reaching the impala and surveying the street. “I could check out the library, see what they have on local legends.”
“Sounds good, let me know if you find anything.”
Taking the laptop bag sitting in the backseat Sam went a few blocks over towards the public library. There was an entire section on the town and almost no one in the building which meant he could leave his computer out without worrying it would be stolen.
But, because there was no one else around and no noises meaning someone else had arrived Sam didn’t think to look where he was walking until running into another person.
“I’m so sorry.” He said looking down to you on the floor picking up the books you had dropped. “Here, let me help.”
Your breath caught as you saw him properly for the first time, his jaw was strong with a day’s worth of stubble sitting on his chin, hazel eyes looked kind, and that smile….he was probably the most attractive person you had ever seen in your entire life. “I’m sorry I ran into you.”
All of your books were piled into his long arms. “It’s my fault, I thought no one else was here so I wasn’t paying attention.” He looked at the title of the top book. “You’re reading about the Harper Building?”
“It’s one of the oldest buildings in town, I’m writing a paper on it.” There was a look, almost like admiration of a sort. “I’m Y/N by the way.”
“Sam. Why don’t you share my table? I’d like to hear more about the paper you’re writing.”
You smiled adjusting the backpack straps. “Yeah, sure.”
Opening the book you started pointing out the irregularities of the ancient building compared to others like it, the past owners, rumors about it, and ghost stories. Sam hung on every word even moving his chair closer to see better but only succeeding in making your heart pound harder.
When Sam’s phone went off he sent a quick text in response before smiling. “Do you have any plans tonight?”
“Oh, uh no I don’t.”
“How’d you like to get dinner with me?”
No one would believe that you went to the library to write about a boring building and left with a date. “I’d like that.” The two of you packed up and left the library together, Sam stood right out front as if waiting for someone to show up. “Here’s my number and address, pick me up at seven.”
A rumbling engine caught your attention as a black car pulled up the curb. “Sammy let’s get a move on.”
“Sorry,” He said laughing awkwardly. “My brother Dean.”
“Are your parents part angel or something? There’s no other explanation….”
“For why both of you look so gorgeous.” That seemed like the best exit line you could ever give, so turning away you walked towards the parking lot for your car enjoying the feeling of Sam watching you walk away. “Wear the suit tonight!” You yelled back to him.
So I just got finished watching les mis with my sister (who’s never seen it) and lemmie tell you about some of the things she said
• “isn’t that wolverine??? I’m starting to think this is an alternate universe in which the mutants were enslaved”
• “those kids are being dicks to wolverine. What the fuck did he ever do to them?”
• “if wolverine really wanted that silver, couldn’t he just have asked? The bishop was so willing to give it to him”
• “okay but that transition tho”
• “that guys eyes are so blue”
• “WHY DIDNT ANYBODY HELP WOLVERINE???????”
• “wtf. Why did they do the do in a bathtub??? That’s so uncomfortable holy shit”
• “isn’t that bellatrix?”
• “seriously? How many sex scenes does this movie need to have??”
• “of course he drank the piss wine”
• “wolverine is so done with their shit”
• “he just dropped the rope. How the fuck is he gonna get down??”
• “russell crowe gonna fall off that fucking ledge if he don’t get off the edge like that”
• “they let those kids do that???”
• “who the cutie with the bootie?”
• “why is that booby ignoring the hot one?”
• “wait is she from mean girls?? She IS from mean girls”
• “wait so that booby basically just hired the girl who has a crush on him to find the girl who he has a crush on??? And panini isn’t even getting paid??”
• “oh my god they ALL cuties with booties!!!”
• “so are blondie and green waistcoat together??”
• “they’re not together?????”
• “wow look at that sass”
• “why they makin fun of the booby tho?”
• “omg is blondie crying????”
• “conclusion: they’re all gay”
• “why did panini lead the booby to cosette’s housseee??”
• “oh and now I’m gonna cry over this stupid love triangle”
• “why the fuck are there so many people singing at once wtf”
• “so they’re just starting the revolution at this dude’s funeral? How rude”
• “who let the booby ride a horse???”
• “ok but who is that badass using two pistols”
• “russell crowe just tried to nope the fuck out of there”
• “oh shit”
• “NO NOT PANINI”
• “oh sure noooooow the booby realizes that panini loves him”
• “lmao there’s like 10 guns pointed at him”
• “omg green waistcoat tho I just can’t”
• “NO ITS OKAY MR MAN UR KID IS NOT GOING TO DIE”
• “oh hey I kinda ship them”
• “NO NO THIS ISNT HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO END”
• “WHY DO ALL MY SHIPS DIE SIDE BY SIDE”
• “mmm watchya sayyyyy”
• “ewwwwwwwwww whyyyyy”
• “I TOLD YOU HE WAS GOING TO FALL”
• “wow never do close ups on the booby bc he’s ugly af”
• “WHY IS THIS SO SAD”
• “wolverine bout to give the booby the talk”
• “that’s the best exit song ever”
• “oh wow wolverine looks so gross”
• “so their heaven is a better barricade? Nice”
Frankie quotes about Zach since he's left the house PART I
This is not a complete list (he talks about him so much that would be impossible), but what I’ve gathered so far.
Zach I love you SO much, we are Team Zankie forever inside and outside of this house. Unfortunately, I had to kind of honor what the house was asking me to do. Go give ‘em hell in the jury house, and I cannot WAIT to see you again. I miss you already.
God, this pillow smells like Zach. (sleeps with Zach’s pillow for foreseeable future)
I fucking merked Zach in the POV and sent him home. I’m a villain. They hate me.
[About the jury house] It’ll be nice to see something besides these walls.
I would say that [Zach] would be making it more lively if he was here, except he’d be asleep. So… there goes that theory.
Zach’s exit was epic and I’ll have to shoot glitter out of my ass to top it.
It was good; it was one of the best exits I’ve ever seen. He’s hugely popular.
He loves it because he’s a public figure now, that’s all he wants, to be honest. I do hope he makes something of his life, I really do. If he goes back to working in a Thai restaurant and sleeping and, uh, like just being his little brother’s caddy, I will be surprised. I’d be disappointed.
Zankie. We were like immediately Zankie, from the beginning. And he, um, there was like a night where he like rubbed my back until I fell asleep.
Maybe Zach’s in the jury house being like ‘I miss Frankie so much, I mean, I think he’s the guy for me.’
Donny: You can kiss Zach! Frankie: Yeah! That’s what I’m going to do! I think he will. I think he’ll just be like *opens mouth and sticks out tongue in a making out gesture*. Full open mouth.
Caleb: So you don’t think it could be the same way with men though? Men date girls for a long time and girls treat them wrong so the guys choose to go to the other side? Frankie: I think Zach might do that.
He had feet that kind of looked like my ex’s, so… but he had nice everything else so it didn’t matter to me.
Donny: You’ll have to get one [a passport] when you and Zach go to Germany. Frankie: *smiles giddily*
I think that sexuality is too complicated to say that just because you have a homosexual thought that you’re gay.
I’m going to make cookies. What’s wrong with me!? I’m the new Zach!
I’m fighting the urge for a fourth [cookie]. What the fuck is wrong with me? No, I’m definitely not having a fourth. Actually I only had three and a half, but still, what the fuck? God, I just don’t even know what to do with myself. I’m like a different person.
Zach’s probably got 100,000 followers.
And I miss him, even though he was such a fuck up. I miss that little fuck up.
How do you know when you’re falling in love with somebody? Like when you can only think about them? And it’s just like they’re always on your mind, in the back of your mind kind of. And you’re super happy when you see them.
Zach used to brush his teeth for like 9 minutes.
He is so funny. They did a great job with putting him in this house, I gotta say. Because he was unbelievable entertainment. He’s gonna be remembered forever and ever and ever.
Yeah, that’s all he wants. He’s like, I wanna have made a big splash in this house. And he totally did… He didn’t care about the money. I don’t even really know if he cared about the exposure. He just wanted to come and do it big. And he did. He was so at peace when he lost that competition.