best damn fool

me: [takes a personality test for a class]

personality test: [tells me that I like to heavily research and investigate topics that interest me]

me: [writes a 600-word response in which I disagree with the concept of using personality tests to predict workplace behavior by citing peer-reviewed journals, ted talks, podcasts and books on psychology]         

you, probably: why did you do this? 

me: it was worth 2 marks…………

Has anyone thought about how perfect a Sam/Steve merman AU would be?

Come ON, Steve as the odd, rebellious merman who’s always longed to be human (Bucky thinks he’s out of it)

And maybe as a merman he’s able to swim alongside of boats and chat with people and appear to be human (glamor, magic)— so people assume he’s just a strong swimmer or he says he’s a scuba diver or whatever–

 …and he falls in love with Sam, the beautiful and kind Marine Ornithologist who spends a lot of time at the shore studying endangered birds-

And with help from the good sea wizard, Erskine, Steve manages to become human, and he goes off to woo Sam.
And of course there are hilarious hijinx along the way with Steve being adorkable and not-at-all human-

And Steve is all frazzled with his new anatomy and not understanding how humans mate at ALL, but suddenly feeling URGENTLY INTERESTED in learning more about that subject, especially when Sam takes his shirt off to go swimming—
(Of course he’s heard stories about fish-wives and merfolk who take human lovers….. but he’s fuzzy on the details.  The first time Sam kisses him he’s worried he may get pregnant)

…and of course Bucky realizes that his damn fool best friend has gone and become a human—
and he’s like “Well fuck that, I’m gonna become a human too, you fuckin jerk!”
But Bucky makes a pact with the EVIL sea wizard: Zola…

 And Steve and Sam and Natasha (Sam’s scientist friend) have to help release Bucky from the devil’s bargain he made to become human

And there’s a horrible moment of despair where Steve sacrifices his humanity to save Bucky, and Sam sees him for what he is and Steve is heartbroken and he’s banished back to the sea forever…

And Sam is lonely and heartbroken too.  He takes a shower and thinks about how surprised and suspicious Steve had been about it- (he’d finally calmed down when he’d decided it was some kind of waterfall)  

Sam goes to bed and thinks about Steve and doesn’t sleep-
 he looks out at the sea: empty waves, wishing he’d see a blonde head swimming over to him-  (WAY too deep for a human, how had he not noticed that??) 

BUT of course, Steve, because of his good heart and the power of true love, is able somehow to return to the world of humans (So is Bucky ofc)

And everything is super-lovely and wonderful-
(and Sam finally shows Steve how human mating works <3)