best costume ever!

Headcanon: Ask teenaged Damian about Batman Inc. and Brucie Wayne’s relationship with Batman and you’ll always receive a different answer.

Example:

“What is your father’s relationship with Batman?“
"They’re lovers.”
-

“Unrequited love. Father adores him, but Batman has only one passion: JUSTICE.“
-

"Childhood friends. Met at summer camp. My father stumbled into the woods and noticed a rather fat bat in the tree. Back then he was a little overweight, and also known as Batboy.”
-

“I am here to deliver the truth, and the truth shall set this city free. X-Men are real. He’s a mutant! They’re all mutants!”
-

“Total weebs. They were really into Inuyasha in high school. You know that one episode with the bat demons? Huge inspiration.”
-

“My father cares a great deal about animals, as I’m sure you are aware. Batman is half bat. That’s why he covers his face. He has bat eyes.“
-

"It’s a torrid affair. Batman’s secret headquarters are under Gotham harbor. My father has always had a thing about romance surrounded by fish. Sometimes he’ll get Batman to sing sea shanties.”

-

“Here’s the thing: Batman is actually not a man. The figure is made up of small cobbler elves. That’s why the Kevlar fits so tight.”

Best Costumer Ever!

This isn’t a fuck costumer story, she was genuinely one of the sweetest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of helping. The story is too unique not to share.
To start with some back story- I work at a chain pet store, and I was on the floor doing whatever to make myself look busy. This lady comes in, and asks me if we have any cat bowls that are microwave and dishwasher safe. I walk her back to them and read the fine print for her and we find some she absolutely loves. She tells me her birthday is coming up, and she wants to adopt a cat and give her birthday to a kitty (which I think is so sweet). So she was picking up some stuff for when she found the right one.
I take her up front and start to ring her out, and she tells me she has bills to pay so she can’t spend too much. It ends up coming out more than she expected, and she gets alittle flustered. I always keep a butt load of change in my apron for when I’m cashiering incase anybody needs it to help pay for their items. I start pulling out change and combined we have just the right amount for her to get the bowls. She thanks me profusely and goes on her way.
Later that evening, she comes back to the store and finds me. She thanks me some more, and then explains that she’s Wiccan (if I’m remembering correctly) and she believes in karma. She brought me 3 gold dollar coins and explains that they’re wish coins. One I give to someone in need for good karma, and the other two I spend on something and make a wish (ie a $2 lotto ticket and wish to win). She tells me she does tarot card readings and gives me her card so I can come get a reading from her. I remembered we were doing a cat adoption event that weekend, and tell her she should come in and check out what they have since it’ll be her birthday. Fast forward to that weekend- I come in and notice her sitting over by the shelter group. I talk to her and she tells me she found the perfect cat and she’s adopting her right then, just in time for her birthday! I can’t say I’ve ever been that happy for a stranger, it made my week knowing that I could help her (and a cat!). It was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever had the pleasure of being a part of and it’ll definitely stick with me. My heart still swells with joy when I think about her.

The signs on Halloween

Aries: FULL SIZED SNICKERS FUCK YEAH 

Taurus: oh my goodd look at that houses decorations! and that houses! and that one and that one and that one ect

Gemini: that little shit that pranks houses

Cancer: *hands out candy mumbling “i wish I could trick or treat”*

Leo: *hiding under the covers with their christmas decorations waiting for it to be all over*

Virgo: I put so much effort into this costume aND NO ONE SAID A THING

Libra: who cares if im 25 and in debt IM GOING TRICK OR TREATING

Scorpio: *finishes the 8th scary movie they’ve watched this night* *clicks next*

Sagittarius: somehow has the best looking costume you’ve ever seen

Capricorn: *wears a white shirt that says ‘costume’ like its supposed to be ironic but we all know that it was a last minute costume*

Aquarius: forgot it was halloween so they just wore the same outfit they’ve been wearing three years straight like were not going to notice

Pisces: the asshole that puts on a scary outfit and scares young children

“My friend is secretly a mythical creature” cliché aus
  • “You just busted in my house asking for help in bad english and I thought you were a kid who did some minor troubles at the comic con or somethiing judging by your costume but you’re actually an alien who crashed near and is researched by your planet’s authorities” au
  • “Caught you changing and you have wings binded on your back” fallen angel au
  • “Now that I think about it I never asked why is your house built around a giant-ass tree please explain” dryad au
  • “We had a sleepover and I woke up earlier than you so I wanted to grab something to eat and why the actual fuck is there so many blood packs in there” vampire au
  • “You’ve been avoiding eveyone since a couple days and I noticed your arm seemed paralyzed or something and I wanted to talk to you except when I grabbed said arm to stop you from running away it came out oops” robot au
  • “I see you every year at carnaval/halloweens/any costumed holidays with the best costume ever (though always the same one) and we exchanged numbers and became internet buddies but why won’t you accept to meet face to face any other days” centhaur/satyr au
  • “We were dicking around in chemistry but you accidentally received some of whatever we made and it turns out that this substance strongly weaken you/forces you to take your true form” shapeshifter/dragon au
  • “I came to your house for a sleepover but you weren’t here your house was trashed and when I found you again the next day you were naked and without any recognitions of what had happened” werewolf au
  • “We fell on each others and yo where the frick is your stomach dude” Wendigo au
  • “You had an accident and I thought you were dead bc I couldn’t hear your heartbeat but you turned out just fine” undead au
  • “I always thought you were our common friend’s sibling but you actually are a demon they summoned years ago and made a pact with“ demon au
  • “I keep freaking out whoever come to my old house but you don’t get scared easily and you actually seems interested by my story and past instead of just being here for the thrill wanna chat?” ghost au
Hi let’s do a cute thing send me a number for a blog rate and blog compliment!!!
  1. Can you solve a rubix cube?What are you most excited for currently?
  2. Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence?
  3. Do you ever count your steps while walking?
  4. Do you have any people you only pretend to like?
  5. What’s your favorite type of cuisine?
  6. Do you like the age you’re at?
  7. Describe the first dream you remember having.
  8. Do you love or hate rollercoasters?
  9. What was the best halloween costume you’ve ever worn?
  10. What would someone have to do to earn your trust?
  11. Who would you want to be stranded on a deserted island with? 
  12. What was the last movie you watched? What’s your opinion on it?
  13. What is your proudest accomplishment?
  14. What is your song of the week?
  15. Pink or yellow lemonade?
  16. How many languages do you speak?
  17. If you had 2 children - a boy and a girl - what would their names be?
  18. What do you think is your most recognizable feature?
  19. Name three wishes and why you wish for them.
  20. List five good things that happened today
  21. What is your favorite family vacation?
  22. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would you do?
  23. Do you keep plants?
  24. Do you worry more about people judging your mind or body?
  25. Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?
  26. What is the best gift you have ever been given?
  27. When’s the last time you cried in front of a person?
  28. First concert?
  29. Do you easily accept compliments? Or do you hate compliments?
  30. If someone were to paint your portrait, how would you like them to paint you? How would you pose, where would you be, what would you wear, etc?
  31. Do you feel you had a happy childhood?
  32. Do you like singing/humming to yourself?
  33. If you found $100 on the ground what would you spend it on?
  34. Do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!
  35. What kind of adventure would you like to have?
  36. Would you rather be able to fly or teleport?
  37. What would you do if you won the lottery?
  38. How many pillows do you sleep with?
  39. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
  40. What color do you wear the most?
  41. What is your favorite month?
  42. Is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?
  43. Do you give your pokemon nicknames?
  44. Can you swim well?
  45. Can you fall asleep in cars?
  46. What are 4 tabs that you have open on your browser right now?
  47. City lights or stars?
  48. Who is the last person you messaged and tell us a story about them.
  49. Are you patient?
  50. When you have cereal, do you have more cereal than milk or milk than cereal?
  51. Snow or Sand?
  52. Is there a story behind your name?
  53. What is a question you’ve always wanted to be asked? How would you answer that question?
  54. Do you like poetry?
  55. What was your first thought this morning?
  56. If you could travel to another decade, what would it be and why?
  57. If you could have any talent you don’t have, what would it be?
  58. Scariest animal encounter?
  59. You have thirty seconds to tell the world anything you want. What do you say?
  60. What is something you wish you would stop doing?
  61. If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be?
  62. Do you listen to Christmas music when it’s not the Christmas season?
  63. Do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?
  64. What kind of people are you attracted to?
  65. Get the closest book to you and open it to page 42. What is the first line?
  66. What is your opinion on socks?
  67. 5 things in your bag right now
  68. What’s your lucky number
  69. Do you have a least favorite movie?
  70. if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?
  71. How do you spend a lazy rainy day?
  72. Would you rather live surrounded by nature or in a big city?
  73. Does anyone know your deepest, darkest secret?
  74. Tell us a story about a really embarrassing experience
  75. What books on your shelf are begging to be read?
  76. What’s something that amazes you?
  77. What was your favorite moment of this year so far?
  78. Would you like to build/design your own house?
  79. Can you solve a rubix cube?
  80. Have you ever been in a newspaper?
  81. Are you superstitious?
  82. If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be?
  83. If you had 2 minutes left to live, how would you spend those two minutes?
  84. Say something in a language other than your native tongue
  85. What is the most important thing to you in your life right now?
  86. What does your last name mean?
  87. Do you like post it notes?
  88. Describe your ideal day.
  89. Would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?
  90. Selfie
  91. Do you like the beach?
  92. If your bf/gf was into drugs, would you care?
  93. Do you prefer the ocean or land?
  94. Are you hungry right now?
  95. Do you believe in an afterlife?
  96. What do you want your last words to be?
  97. Tell us a crush story that does not end well.
  98. Would you rather live without tv or music?
  99. Did you ever get in trouble in school?
  100. What’s your biggest fuck up?