best book of my life

Best friends are supposed to be there for each other. Best friends are supposed to get through issues and problems between them. Best friends are supposed to have each other’s backs no matter what. So what happened between us? Best friends aren’t supposed to cut each other off without warning. I guess we weren’t really “best friends” after all.
—  ex best friend
I’ve let myself get walked on. I’ve let myself be ridiculed. I’ve let myself be treated poorly. All because I was scared to lose those people. I was scared to lose the people that didn’t care that they hurt my feelings and put me down. Isn’t is sad what we put ourselves through for people that wouldn’t do the same for us?
—  Chapters from my life

Nothin’ like a good old milkshake pozol date ♥ ♥ ♥

I have other things planned for the actual 14th, but in case helping my sister with her wedding shopping prevents me from completing the other stuff I wanted to do, consider this my early celebration pic. Happy chocolate-! I mean Valentine’s day!

If he can make you laugh and forget how awful your day was, don’t let him go. If he can make your heart explode with nothing but a smile, don’t let him go. If he clouds your mind with happy thoughts and daydreams, don’t let him go. If he can calm you down, not just with his words, but with the sound of his voice, don’t let him go. If he sends tingles up your arm when you brush hands, don’t let him go. If he would do anything to make you happy, don’t let him go, even for a second. Love can slip through our fingers as easily as gravel in the wind, and if you let it go, there’s no guarantee it’ll come back. So fall in love and hold on tight, because when you find the person you want to be with forever and ever and ever, holding on can’t be an obligation, it has to be a choice. But when you’re with the right person, it should be the easiest choice you’ll ever make.
—  Never Ever Let Go
I want to lie down, to go to sleep. But my problems don’t sleep with me. They relay round my head, each time going faster.
—  Classy
That feeling when you get your best friend back. That’s the best feeling in the world. To be reunited with the one you’ve known since you were kids. The one who has been there to see you at your worst and your best. The one who you’ve had the craziest adventures with. The one who will always be there for you no matter what. No matter how many fights you get in, they’ll still always be your best friend. Thank you for still being my true best friend.
—  My best friend is back

nobody asked but i counted all times neil josten says something/one is “fine”

41 times in total, 28 of them are “I’m fine”


We drifted apart.
The tide was rising and we didn’t know how to save each other so we fell apart to save ourselves.

I miss him now. The way he used to gently brush my hair behind my ear. The way we used to talk on the phone till early in the morning, half-asleep. The way we lied to our parents just to steal kisses.
He was my friend before he was my lover.
And I don’t have resentment for the way he had to leave.
I just hope he is doing well.
I hope he found someone who can love him in all the ways I couldn’t.
I hope he found happiness again, instead of the desolation that always shrouded him.
I could never calm the raging storms in his head, or be there for him when he couldn’t catch his breath on the nights his thoughts got too overwhelming for him to hold himself together. I hope she can.
I hope the ghosts of our memories don’t haunt him at night
And I hope he finally found peace.

—  Tamarind Fall; Writing prompt: An ex lover is talking about how they miss their boy but they hope their love is doing well and they hope he found happiness and they hope he is at peace finally.

anonymous asked:

"He's in love with you"

“He’s in love with you, you know?” She said to me, sadness laced her eyes.

I felt bad, because I know he loves me. And if I really let myself, I could love him just as much. But I can’t let myself love him because my best friend loves him.

“He does?” I ask, feigning innocence. If I pretend I don’t know, will that spare her feelings?

“I’m glad,” she started, throwing me off guard, “if there was anyone he could love that wasn’t me, at least it’s you. At least it’s someone who’ll care for him and love him.”

The sadness was still in her eyes, but there was hope behind her words. She was as sincere as she’d ever been, and that’s why she is my best friend. She’s caring, compassionate and wonderful.

And one day, I think he could love her more than he could have ever loved me.

Hey.. It’s me.

I don’t think you still remember me, or even what we used to be. It’s okay, I don’t blame you. So.. How have you been these years? You’re in University now so I guess you are very busy. With work, meeting new friends, catching up with old friends and ofcourse, your girlfriend. It’s okay, don’t feel bad. I am happy for you and that you are happy. You are happy, right?
I am writing this letter, because I never have gotten the chance to tell you how I feel about you and even about us. See, we were so young. 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16. We were friends for five years, but I think we really grew closer when we were both 14. Hey, do you still remember that day we went out to Mc Donald’s with our friends? Or that day I decided to take the long way home so we could talk a little more longer? Those were the fun times.
But soon I got too comfortable with you. You made me laugh and made me happy and I felt home. It was like I could be myself with you. My crazy self, my anxious self, all the hidden parts of me, I wanted to open up to you. But I couldn’t. I always hid myself, for as long as I could remember. I never wanted anyone to know what was really behind my mask. So it was like a war in my head. And you knew.
And you saw the mess that I am.
You saw parts of me that weren’t truly me and you saw what was behind this broken mask. I was like a puzzle made of thousand pieces. And I was hoping, you would solve it. But I never wanted you to find out how my soul fell in love with you. You were my safe haven, yeah, I guess you still are. I watched you, falling for other girls. I was rooting for you, because that is what friends do, right? But boy, I was praying and praying it would never work out between you and them. It made me feel so guilty, but it didn’t matter. By the time I could call you my best friend, I was already loving you in more ways than I know.
I watched silently from the sidelines, I always had. I don’t think you have even known that I was so in love with you. And yet, maybe you did notice it and chose to ignore it.
I know you’re not that kind of guy who would make a big deal out of it and that is what I loved so about you. I was the thunder and you the silent rain. You complete me, and fuck, if only I could describe how beautiful you are to me.
I am sorry this message is a mess, but I guess you never expected anything else from me. I love you and I think the whole purpose of this was to tell you I am in love with you. I love you and I miss you and I want you. My heart is aching for you but I can’t do anything because you are in love with her. You love her just like I love you and the thought of you loving her the way I love you, is enough for me to stop loving you.
But I am sorry, I just love you. I love you when we were 12 and I still love you. I know, it’s pathetic, it’s useless to love you but my heart chose you. But I accept it, and even if I don’t, it’s none of my business between you and her. But this is not about you and her, it’s about us. Only today, I want to talk about us. Let me at least tell you that I have been in love with you. You are the most, most, most, most beautiful human I have ever met and I thank Heaven for placing me on earth with you. I am so blessed and so happy and grateful for you. You are the most, most, most beautiful being in this whole Universe and I know you will never believe it and neither will I. I never thought I could adore someone this much.
And I know, you will never return these feelings for me and I know that even if we were still friends, you would’t fight for us. It was me who left you, because you wouldn’t stay anyways. The more I grew closer to you, the more I distanced myself away from you. Do you know how I hated myself for that? I had to leave you because the thought of you leaving me would crush my whole world. I would rather regret leaving you than to live with that pain in my heart. I am sorry for ruining our friendship like this, but at that time, I had no choice.
I know, you don’t even care about me anymore and I am happy at least one of us is moving on. I know, maybe one day, I will forget you but for now you are one of the most painful memories I bear in my heart.
It was never your fault and I know, it is not my fault either. I believe we were just a chapter in each other’s lives, but somehow, you became my whole story.
I hoped this message would be a goodbye but I don’t want to lie or hide anything anymore. This is a message to tell you that I love you and I fucking love you so much. And I still do. And I always will. Even if you forgot about me, it’s okay. You are happy and that’s enough for me. As long as you are happy and the empty parts in your heart are filled, I am happy. I am happy for you.

Why is everything I love ripped from my hands
—  Can I just have a break?// t.q.
I love him for the little laugh in the back of his throat he does when he reads something funny. I love him for the way he smiles so big you can never see his eyes in pictures. I love him for the way his shoulders move side to side when he walks. I love him for the way he sometimes doesn’t get my jokes, but laughs anyway to make me feel better. I love that when I do something silly, he’ll laugh with me and not at me. I love that I can talk about whatever for as long as I need and he’ll patiently listen to me until I feel better. I love that he always asks me what’s wrong again when I tell him once, “I’m fine.” I love him because I smile when little words and phrases he uses slowly slip into my vocabulary and I all of a sudden find myself using them, no matter how annoying they are. I love him because he changed my endless string of bad days into a blur of laughter and smiles and happiness. He made the sun shine when it was raining and I’ve never me anyone else who could do that. So, yes, I love him, and this is why.
—  Why Do You Love Him?

The dedication for Gloria Steinem’s new book:

This book is dedicated to:

Dr. John Sharpe of London, who in 1957, a decade before physicians in England could legally perform an abortion for any reason other than the health of the woman, took the considerable risk of referring for an abortion a twenty-two-year old on her way to India.

Knowing only that she had broken an engagement at home to seek an unknown fat, he said, “You must promise me two things. First, you will not tell anyone my name. Second, you will do what you want to do with your life.”

Dear Dr. Sharpe, I believe you, who knew the law was unjust, would not mind if I say this so long after your death:

I’ve done the best I could with my life.
This book is for you.

She wanted to be everywhere; to taste the universe one bit at a time and to fly with the wind and sing with the rain. She wanted to go somewhere where windows looked out on big streets full of tiny people instead of empty roads lined with sleepy houses. She wanted to see the world through her own lens; to look at her life and not wait for someone to set her free from her cage, but to pick the lock herself.
—  Random Things I Write #16

“I’m sorry.

For the words I have never spoken 

and for the ones that I did.
This isn’t your fault. 
And it’s killing me.
I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.
And that I know that this will mean 
nothing to you.
Because it’s too late.
And I’m sorry.”

       - Pushkin Channan

Though, it does not require any clarification. And it’s clear that something wrong has, I believe, ended our friendship.