best 'not actually about love' love song ever

2

Hey so I got tagged for the Tally Hoe’s introduce your selfie tag by the lovely @winxixia and @danstevensgrowl~ (Where you post two selfies, a random fact about yourself, and your favorite song from BATB) So here are my two selfies - my actual face versus me with a shit ton of makeup. And yes, I, like Poe Dameron, only own one jacket. (Seriously though it’s my favorite piece of clothing, best Target buy ever.)

A Random fact about me: I have two pets - a Pomeranian pupper named Maya who is the love of my life and a grumpy Lutino Cockatiel named Kosmina. Kosmina used to be Kosmo until she started laying eggs. For the past seven years, we thought she was a boy because you can’t tell the sex of a bird without a blood test. But one day my sister came home and found an egg at the bottom of the cage. We were shook. The eggs can’t become chicks because we don’t have a male bird in the cage with her. It’s just a weird thing that happens?? when they have a lot of calcium. It’s very strange. We love her though even though she screams when we try to kiss her.

And my favorite song from BATB is, without a doubt, Gaston. I remember seeing the on stage show for the first
time when I was in the 5th grade and the entire week afterwards I was singing that song. It’s so catchy and well written and it has a meme-like quality to it. Plus, the
new version with Josh Gad is A+.

Alright so I tag @stafouofficeau, @remuslupinsmiled @usapotterfan @lumieresbedroom @stafoushiphassailed

Have fun, y'all!!

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I’ve recently raved about Pitch (please go and watch btw, I NEED A SEASON 2!!), and now I’m going to rave about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I had watched the pilot when it first aired and while I had mildly enjoyed it, I wasn’t really hooked. Still, it was a show that I had on my back burner for when I had nothing else to watch. Well, that time finally came. I binge-watched the whole thing and I want to yell from the rooftops how amazing this show is! If you can get over the title, you’ll be rewarded. There’s so much that I love about CEG! The main character is deeply flawed and her whole arc is coming to terms with her flaws and overcoming them. She’s deceitful and misguided and self-centered and selfish, but she’s also a poor soul who is struggling with depression and mental illness and who strives to make herself happy. She has the most beautiful friendship with one of her work mates, which is almost like a love story? It’s so real because that’s how women experience friendship with each other. Fighting with your bestie is worse than a breakup, and this show nails that. There’s this cool dude who’s the boss and is super sweet and the best dad ever, and after divorcing his wife and meeting some new people thanks to Rebecca he realizes he’s bisexual? He actually SINGS about his bisexuality, and it’s the most beautiful song ever? Anyway, there’s so much to love about this show, but the thing I like the most is how real it is in a way that few shows are. What’s more, it’s real while being funny. It’s real about tough things - like self-loathing and depression - and it nails exactly how we feel when we are going through all of that stuff but it makes you laugh about it! Which is so precious! And yes, sometimes it’s just ridiculously funny. Anyway, to give you a taste of why I can’t get over how awesome this show is, I made a list of my favorite songs so far…

1. You Stupid Bitch – An ode to self-loathing and self-hatred

You ruined everything
You stupid bitch
You ruined everything
You stupid, stupid bitch
You’re just a lying little bitch who ruins things
And wants the world to burn
Bitch
You’re a stupid bitch
And lose some weight

2.  Oh My God I Think I Like You

My feelings get stronger every day

I’m like a little girl, not in a role-playing way

Are there condoms that can prevent these feelings?

Is there spermicidal lubricant that can kill

The fluttering in my heart?

Is there an IUD

That can stop the image of you and me

Getting married on a hillside, surrounded by ducks

And then we get into a rowboat?

3. I Could If I Wanted To - because it’s safer to half-ass everything than try…

Whoop-dee-frickin’-doo, a happy dad

With his big dad calves and his stupid baseball cap

And his T-ball shirt and dumbass son

Throwin’ a ball, like it’s so important to know how to throw a ball

Whoop-dee-frickin’-doo!

Who cares about throwin’ a ball or havin’ a kid?

It’ll get ya nowhere in life

Not like gettin’ anywhere matters

Although I guess it does if you care

Which I don’t!

But I could! But I don’t!

But I could if I wanted to, yeah!

4. Sexy Getting Ready Song - WATCH THIS. There’s nothing sexy about getting ready for a gal!

God, what
This is how you get ready? This is some
This is horrifying, like a scary movie or something
Like some nasty-ass patriarchal bullshit
You know what? I got to go apologize to some bitches
I’m forever changed after what I just seen

5. Face Your Fears - yeah, but just… maybe… don’t do what Paula is telling you to?

If you’re scared of bees (If you’re scared of bees)

Get stung! (Don’t have an EpiPen ready)

Reach for the stars (Literally touch the stars)

Face your fears! (Stars aren’t that hot)

Face your fears (Face your fears)

Join the Marines (Join the Marines)

Swim right after eating (Don’t wait 30 minutes)

Cause you are amazing (So amazing)

Wipe back to front (Don’t wipe front to back)

Drop out of school (School is stupid)

6. Gettin’ Bi - BEST BISEXUAL ANTHEM EVER!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUDab9piv_U

Now some may say
“Oh, you’re just gay
Why don’t you just go gay all the way?”
But that’s not it
‘cause bi’s legit
Whether you’re a he or a she
We might be a perfect fit
And one more thing
I tell you what;
Being bi does not imply that you’re a player or a slut
Sure, I like sex
But I’m no ho
I take things slow
Until I feel at ease

7. I’m A Good Person - when you want to believe you’re good but you’re kind of a douche?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4hh1YhDfbA

I’m a good person all over the place
I cum my good right into your face
Everybody says I’m one good ass chick
And if you don’t think so you can lick
My balls. Which, again, are filled with good

(…)

I’m a good, such a good, real good person
I’m a good person through and through
I’m a good, such a good, real good person
Lemme hear you say it too
Say it. Say it! Or I’ll kill your husband
I’ll do it! I’ll gut him like a fish
You’re a good person
Aw, thank you

8. I Gave You a UTI - Weird topic for one of the catchiest songs in the show, IMO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ytnBRjmDXs

I’m so good at sex
Your maidenship got wrecked!
My penis is the reason you may die, die, die!
I gave you a UTI!

9.  Settle for Me - because we’ve all almost begged someone to love us…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtb-ZPOkMyI

So won’t you settle for me
Come on and settle for me
Say yes or no before I choke on all this swallowed pride
I have no problem being picked out from the bottom
If he’s your broken condom, I’m Plan B!
So lower those expectations and settle for me

10. You Go First - when we’re in a fight with our besties and we want to apologize… after they apologize first…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzHJlOmuYsY

So… go ahead and say

you’re kind of sorry!

‘So I can say… Oh, no, no, no please!’

Just like I rehearsed!

If you open the door…

I’ll apologize so much more!

Yes I will… But you go first!

11. We Tapped that Ass - best song about anal sex ever okay?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilztSh5Cr2E

On the table you were
willing and able!

On the ottoman
you took a lot of man!

And in the safe in the closet
I made a deposit!

I also tapped that Ass
all over this house!

12. Who’s the New Guy? - the meta song about the show self-awareness regarding its characters and plots… 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6zP_LE4HFE

Who’s this new character?
I mean, he’s such a “character”
Such a big persona
that’s not relatable at all.

Do we really need a new guy
this far into the season?
and by far into the season
I mean it’s almost Fall.

(…)

Is this some desperate move to
try and help our ratings?

You mean our terrible ratings
on Legal scores.com?

Yeah!


Will he be here forever?

Or just two or three episodes?

I mean, Karen’s manic episodes.

anyway, it’s awesome, go watch it! it’s on Netflix!

This Town

Tyler Joseph X Reader

A/N: this wasn’t a requested imagine, I just fell in love with Niall’s new song! I absolutely adore it. It’s the sweetest song, mixed with just the right amount of sadness. So, expect some fluff, as well as some angst. It definitely won’t be as angsty as some of my other stories, but I really hope you guys enjoy and I hope this makes you guys cry tbh!!! That’s honestly my ultimate goal in life. THIS WILL BE IN TYLER’S PERSPECTIVE. There isn’t a lot of dialogue, but I really wanted to have this be a story, more so than anything else. I just really felt like that fit the idea much more than too much dialogue. Also I apologize for not being as active in writing, but life has been crazy!!!

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The sun broke through the window, resting on (Y/N)’s face perfectly. I would wake up just to kiss her when nobody was around. Her eyes would flutter open and I would be greeted with a smile. Her laugh would echo through the room as she would slap me playfully.

“Good morning, love.” I said softly, laying my head back down on my pillow and looked into her eyes.

“Good morning, Ty.” she would respond lovingly.

That’s how all of our mornings went. When she left the house her perfume would still linger through the air. It all felt too good to be true. She was absolutely perfect; she was kind, caring, down to earth, and she was a strong-willed woman. I loved that about her. Even though she loved me, she didn’t always have to depend on me. She would constantly spread positivity throughout social media and on her blog, and she would always have a smile on her face when things didn’t go her way. She just wanted everyone to be happy all the time.

Maybe there was a reason that she was the way she was. If there was she never told me. Either way I loved her endlessly because of it. She had her flaws, but I never saw them as that. Those “flaws” were the things that made (Y/N), (Y/N).

Sometimes when I missed her I would see her shadow running around the house or on the streets right next to me. I don’t think anything is ever going to change in this town. It was always fascinating to me to see all of these people grow up with me. Their faces would change and mature, and their lives moved on. But something about the town made them all stay even as they grew older.

Whenever (Y/N) came home from work, I wanted to tell her everything about my day, and I wanted to know how her day was. Even if she had a tiring day at work, she would come home and greet me with such energy and light. She was one of those people who emitted a positive light whenever she was in a room. She gave people a sense of belonging. She was kind to everyone she met. There was just something about her that made me the happiest man alive.

“Hey Ty!” she said excitedly. “How was your day? I want to hear all about it.” her eyes gleamed with love and passion, yet another thing I adored about her.

I smile broadly and take her hand.

“Well, my day was good. I went to the studio with Josh today and got some new songs recorded. I think the album is going pretty well! It sounds really good, and I’m so so excited for you to hear it. We’ve been working hard… and there’s even a song dedicated to you in there.” I said a little more silently.

Her eyebrows raise and she looked at me with disbelief.

“You’re kidding, right? A whole song just for me?” she asked excitedly.

I nodded my head and gave her a quick kiss.

“I had to. How could I not?”

She giggled and jumped into my arms. I spun her around as butterflies started to form in my stomach. Whenever I was with her I would always feel nervous. After I put her down, I put a hand on her waist, while another one took her hand in my own. I started to dance with her, even though no music was playing. If the whole world was watching us I wouldn’t care. She continued her laughing fit until she ran out of breath.

She looked up at me and stood on her tiptoes to whisper three simple words: “I love you.”

I smiled and kissed her, before saying those three words back.

It felt like we had been together for an eternity, and I knew she was the one. I would then go on to propose to her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and no one else. I wanted to be by her side forever. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being with anyone else.

We were engaged for about six months. Planning the wedding was stressful to say the least, but we managed it somehow. I wanted this to perfect for her. We wanted our day to be perfect. We decided on a color scheme, which included our favorite colors. We both picked out our favorite flowers and had the florist manage to mesh them together and make them look good. As for food, we had our favorite restaurant cater for us. We ordered our favorite items from the menu and decided on a 5-tiered red velvet cake, with a raspberry center. We chose a simple yet beautiful design, and decided to have little figurines of us at the top of the cake.

Things were in place. Everything was fine. Our wedding date was coming closer and we couldn’t be more excited to get married to each other. Autumn was coming, and our wedding would be held outside, adorned by the beautiful colored leaves that would help accent everything and make all of our photos look absolutely amazing.

Naturally, I had all of my brothers by my side, as well as my best friend Josh as my best men.  I wanted this day to be perfect. I wanted this to be everything she’s ever dreamed of. Everytime she walked in the room, she could still make me nervous. This day would be no different. In fact, it would be even worse than before. It was our wedding day, and she would be in this beautiful wedding gown that she picked just for this event. Don’t get me wrong, she was beautiful every day I saw her, but there’s just something so different about a wedding, and seeing the woman you love in a wedding gown.

As she walked down the aisle, my eyes fixated on her. She looked like an angel. She was glowing, and tears were already in her eyes. I covered my mouth in awe, as tears started to form in my own eyes.

As she made her way down to me, she took my hands in hers, as we exchanged vows.

“I, Tyler Robert Joseph, take you, (Y/F/N)(Y/M/N)(Y/L/N) to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. I promise to be faithful, supporting, and encouraging. I believe in you, the person you will grow to be and the couple we will be together. With my whole heart, I take you as my wife, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine. I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family’s love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in failure and in triumph. I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my person—my love and my life, today and always.“ tears fell down my face, and I struggled to complete all my vows. But I did, and those words felt really good coming out of my mouth.

(Y/N) smiled and wiped her tears before she took a deep breath to recite her vows back to me.

“I, (Y/F/N)(Y/M/N)(Y/L/N, take you, Tyler Robert Joseph to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. I promise to encourage your compassion, because that is what makes you unique and wonderful. I promise to nurture your dreams, because through them your soul shines. I promise to help shoulder our challenges, for there is nothing we cannot face if we stand together. I promise to be your partner in all things, not possessing you, but working with you as a part of the whole. Lastly, I promise to you perfect love and perfect trust, for one lifetime with you could never be enough. This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things.”

I don’t think there was a single dry eye that night. As the night went on, we took our first dance as a married couple. I held her close and knew this was the best decision I had ever made in my whole life. Now the whole world did see us dancing, but it felt like no one was actually there. She rested her head on my shoulder as we swayed slowly to the music.

After the song was finished, I went and grabbed the ukulele she gave me as a present. I stood in front of her and sang “Can’t Help Falling In Love”. Some say it was our theme song. I was lucky to be in love with my best friend.

Time passed and we had been together for about a year. Life had been crazy. I was off tour on a break, and went to the doctor’s to get an annual checkup with (Y/N). A week later, the doctor called us back in to talk. And in that moment I knew something bad was coming. No one’s life could’ve been this perfect, right? I held my breath the entire time going back to the clinic.

The nurse called our names and we walked into the doctor’s office. I played with my hands and (Y/N) had to grab them to help calm me down. An eternity passed by before the doctor came into the room. The look on her face told me everything. The words she spoke crushed my entire being. Everything became a blur. The world went out of focus and I disconnected.

“I’m so sorry to tell you this, Mr. and Mrs. Joseph… but after the checkup we got the results that came up positive for terminal leukemia for you, (Y/N)…”

Even in this time (Y/N) still had a smile on her face. She simply told the doctor thanks, and then immediately asked about treatments. But wasn’t that the whole deal with the word terminal? It meant that it couldn’t be cured?

We left the clinic after that meeting, and (Y/N) knew I was feeling distressed about the whole situation. She took my hand in hers and gave it a tight, reassuring squeeze. She promised me that we would make the most of whatever time she had left. I broke down. I hated the thought of her leaving me, even if it wasn’t her fault. I hated the thought of being alone again. I hated knowing I wouldn’t be able to love anyone else like I loved her.

As the year went on, the days were also taking more and more of my wife. There were times when she would be too tired to get up. There were no longer moments where she would ask how my day was going. There were no more days when I could dance with her. This disease… this thing that was taking my wife away from me affected everyone. Things were different. The light that was once there was now too dim to recognize. It’s always hard to see the person you love suffer. It’s hard to know that they only have a limited time with you left.

And then I hit rock bottom. (Y/N) was admitted into the hospital when I found her unresponsive one morning, right before Thanksgiving. The doctors worked for what felt like hours on her. Eventually they delivered the news. (Y/N) had to be put on life support. She could no longer breathe on her own. She would no longer see the sun rise, she would no longer see the dreams she longed to have and achieve with me.

I walked into the room that day, my eyes already swollen from crying so hard and for so long. I made the decision to take her off the support. I knew she didn’t want it. After she was diagnosed, she asked me to do this for her. And let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I sat in the room for a while, trying to memorize her features. I closed my eyes and would remember her voice, listen to all the videos I had gotten of her. I wanted to remember her smile, how it could brighten up a room, her laugh, that was so contagious. I didn’t want her to fade.

The funeral came up too quickly, and I couldn’t speak. Josh had to finish for me. I sat in my chair and stared at the casket that was holding my wife. I wanted to scream at the sky for taking her away from me. I wanted to break things, I wanted to know why they had to take her away. As everyone started to leave, I stayed. I sat on the grass and wept.

There were so many things left unsaid. I never told her how everything came back to her. I never told her that even after getting married she still made me nervous whenever she walked into the room. I never got to tell her that she was the cause for all the butterflies in my stomach. I never got to tell her that I remember everything that happened the day we met. I never said, “I love you” enough. We never got to live our lives together.

Now, wherever I go, shadows remind me of her. I will walk into our house, the smell of her perfume still clinging to the air. Perhaps she was always sick, but she never said a word to me. Even so, I couldn’t be angry with that. I could only blame myself for not noticing before. When she died, she took a part of me with her. No matter what, everything would lead back to her. And I hoped that my memory would allow me to remember her forever.

She was my car radio, and fall took her. I now sit in silence, wondering if things get better from here. Maybe they do, and maybe they don’t. There’s not really a way you can tell, is there?

Autumn was once a season filled with love and passion, as well as great memories that allowed me to finally know what love felt like. But now, autumn will forever be the season that stole my wife away from me. It will be the season that seems most dreary, the one I cannot face alone, and the one that will be hardest to survive.

And no matter what I think now, this town will never be the same.

Hey Taylor! taylorswift

this, I guess, will be really random, but sorta my story on how I became a swiftie and how it has changed my life for the better.

I was in 7th or 8th grade when my best friend, at the time, Abigail was in our usual spot on the bus listening to a new song called Tim McGraw on her mp3 player and when I sat down next to her she gave me one of her head phones and just told me to listen. Immediately i fell in love with that song and instead of spending my time studying or something like that I spent my time in the computer lab getting to know you. I totally lurked you for the longest time. and I still do to this day, but now you do the same thing which I never dreamed of when I was 13.

The first time I ever saw you, you were opening up for Brad Paisley in Rockford, IL. I was seriously so close to you, I felt like I could reach out and touch you but even then you were like a dream and I couldn’t believe I was actually watching you in real life. You even did some back up vocals for him that night with another singer, I want to say it was Kelly Pickler… but don’t quote me on that, I’m not quite sure. But that night was amazing and soon after that Fearless came out right around the end of freshman year beginning of sophomore year for me, and it was everything I needed to hear and more.

My mom moved me from Rockford to DeKalb my freshman year of high school so I literally didn’t know anyone at my high school and even though my mom raised me to be confident and outgoing, I still felt like I had a hard time fitting in with the cliques. Freshman year wasn’t the best for me; I joined the swim team which is still my favorite sport to do, but I met a girl who really messed with my mind. I started to eat less, then binge and throw up, and hate myself for all the terrible things i consumed. My friend and I wouldn’t eat all day during school, it was easy when we had each other to distract ourselves, and after practice she would drive to a gas station and we would get either a blue or a red Icey so when we went home and ate food in front of our families we could throw up later that evening and once we saw one of those colors we would know that we got everything out of our system. I lost a bunch of weight and I knew my mom and my grandmother were both worried but I told them it was just stress from high school and swimming all the time. I started Track in the spring with my good friend and even when she wasn’t around… it was like I could hear her in my head telling me not to eat the cookie, telling me that if I binge on twinkies again i’ll have to compensate in exercising. She became a voice that ate at me through day and night but one day she didn’t show up to practice… and then two weeks went by and she didn’t show up to school and no one really knew why. So, I had my mom drop me off at her house one day but her mother said she wasn’t home and won’t be for a really long time, then she slammed the door in my face. Turns out her mother found out about her problems and sent her to rehab, but she was still with me. It was easier to try to tell myself to be better now that she wasn’t around, but I could still hear her voice, sometime I still hear it to this day, but my grandmother found me on the bathroom floor one day after dinner and threatened to take me to rehab as well. It took a long time, and sometimes I still fight to keep things down. I have a weak stomach and some foods still trigger me, like movie popcorn.

But sophomore year was probably one of the best years of my life. Right before it began I met this girl named Lauren at a pool party. She had long blonde hair like goldielocks and green eyes that sparkled like emeralds. I tried so hard to become her friend, she was so pretty, she was so smart, I wanted to be a part of her life. It took the rest of the summer, but she finally gave me a chance and we have been inseparable ever since. We are actually getting an apartment together and finishing our last two years of college at U of I starting this August. Your kind words and songs full of hope, dreams, and love helped me surround myself with good people who love and support me.

My grandmother rewarded me with tickets to your Speak Now tour for doing a good job at recovering, and also because she knew how crazy I was about you. It seriously was the best show of my life (Until 1989). I cried. I cried. I cried. You always seemed to know just how to put my feelings into words, to put everyones feelings into words. I felt like I could relate to you on so many levels. I felt like you understood me, you understood my problems, and your songs made me understand that I could get through them. I could rise above my problems and come out being a better person. And to this day, I just want to thank you for all the support you have given me.

Junior year my mother moved me and my little brother to the middle of no where, she got remarried to my amazing step father, and they had my youngest brother soon after. It was really hard going from a big city and living next to heavy traffic to help lull me to sleep at night to a place where they don’t even have a gas station 15 minutes away from you. The school was small and everyone had grown up with each other, so no one was really looking to meet new friends. But I did make some eventually. I met one of my best friends on the bus, I sort of forced my friend ship on her like I did Lauren. I just feel like if you really want something in life, you shouldn’t stop trying. Your devotion to play music for everyone taught me that. Delaney was on the same bus route as I was, she lived a few houses down from me and one day I wasn’t having a good day and for some reason i just got off at her bus stop and followed her to her house. She made me ice cream and we sat on her porch while I sobbed about my problems. She has always been good at listening to anything I have to say. Junior and senior year was around the time Red came out. It was around the time I was 16 probably, maybe a little younger, but it was definitely around the time I started to chase boys. A lot of nights I would spend driving in my beat up car, hitting the steering wheel as I listened to your Red album, knowing that someone else has felt this heart break, someone else has felt what I was feeling and survived it. So, I could, too. I am currently still going through my Red Era with my current ex-boyfriend who i will not name. But I’m hoping to feel okay, and get better, and feel freedom soon.

I met him when I was 17, crazy running wild, wild. I told him I wanted to wait to start dating until I was of age because he was 21 and I also wanted to wait until I graduated from school. He asked me out on my 18th birthday, and i really did feel like I was flying. My birthday is in May and by October he had some trouble where he was living so I stepped up and found him an apartment, I moved in shortly after to help him pay the bills. It wasn’t a fairy tale, and I knew it wouldn’t be. There was this girl, she constantly jumped out to haunt us. She was very very underage and he had gotten in trouble with her in the past, but he swore to me that that was in the past and that I was his future. I found out on our three months that he had been cheating on me with her. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, he said if he didn’t talk to her she threatened to call the cops and get him in trouble. It was bullshit of course, and now I can see that as clearly as everyone else did back then. But I just wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe him so honestly I let this cloak go over my eyes of what he was really doing to me.

He became abusive. First it was verbally. I was never allowed to hang out with friends, I wasn’t allowed to wear certain clothing, I wasn’t allowed to have a voice on certain subjects or else he’d get angry if he disagreed with my opinion. But my mother raised me to be independent and outgoing so I stood up for myself… until it became physical. And you would think I would run after the first hit… But, and I know this sounds so cliche, i know it sounds like every other story. But they seem so trustworthy and pure of heart when they say they will never do it again. They promise. And I was so beaten down by him, I thought I deserved what he was doing. I got to the point where when I was driving I was reckless because I was so depressed. I wanted to get into an accident. I would see a semi truck coming my way and a part of me wanted to be like a deer caught in the head lights. I thought it would be easier if I just wasn’t around anymore. I mean, the relationship wasn’t all bad. I learned a lot of lessons from it and I know he really did love me, in some sort of way. And I loved him too… I still love him. But two and  half years went by and even though some days we didn’t hear from his demons, sometimes even weeks went by when they didn’t show up, I still wasn’t happy because the days that he did show his true colors always outweighed the good days. and I tried to get him to go to anger management or couples therapy with me but he refused.

The girl I mentioned before, the girl he cheated on me with, well she also had a order of protection on him. From her mother, not her. And once she turned 17 this year the OP was up and she was back in his arms not a week later. I thought after almost three years of being with me would keep her away, would make him want to stay with me, after everything I went through… but he still chose her… right in front of me. He locked me out of our apartment. I had to push in the AC just to try to find out what was going on. And when I did and I saw her,… i just…. my heart sunk to my stomach and I was hurting all over. I just kept asking him why… And he couldn’t say anything to me. She wrapped in my blanket and came to the window and said “Because i am the only girl he will ever love” and she shut the window on me and he left me outside in the pouring rain.

A few days after the incident he got a hold of me and I told him i couldn’t forgive him. I had White Horse on repeat for days and I wasn’t going to just let him walk back into my life. But, he is still in it. I, unfortunately, still live in a small town and the word ‘no’ doesn’t really seem to get through to my ex. We still talk. we have our good days and bad. But I refuse to get back with him and he resents me for that. This August we are going to two different colleges, away from each other, and I think that will finally drift us apart. It kills me to think he won’t be in my life anymore but Wildest Dreams has been playing in my ears since October when your CD first came out and it really is helping me get to my 1989 era. Your clean speech is the first thing I listen to every day, its set as my back ground on my phone for when I need motivation to keep going. One day I am hoping I can say I survived this thunderstorm too and that I am cleaner and wiser than before.

I have met so many amazing people on this site and others because of you. You have brought a community of happy, free, confused, young people together to love and support each other and honestly I couldn’t ask for a better friend than you. I just recently went to your 1989 tour with my mom in Chicago and I haven’t cried so much in my life. Honestly, hearing your speeches in real life hit you 10x harder than they do when you see them over the internet. You are so devoted to your fans, you are so kind to your fans, you see us as friends and I am forever devoted to you Taylor. I love you so much. Thank you for taking the time to read this, anyone who has stuck with me through this story. I apologize for how blotchy it is, a lot happens over 8 years and I really just tried to pick out the important stepping stones in my life so far. Thank you for everything Taylor. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

I can’t wait to update you on more of my life to come and I can’t wait to see what your life has in store for you and all the memories we can make together! I love you Taylor.

taylorswift

anonymous asked:

Hi, i don't want to bother you but do you have any fics where Louis(or Harry)Doesn't know he's gay (or he refuses to think that) and discorvers his sexualty when he meets Harry/(or Louis)? Something like 'Confessions of a gay Disney prince?' Thank you so much and sorry for my english, i hope everything it's clear. Have a nice day =)

Hi love ! Don’t worry about your English, I totally understood you :)

So I don’t know how to name this fic rec … Let’s say :

- standing here but you don’t see me  : “Louis being with a guy is something Harry has always known was a possibility. Ever since Louis told them he was gay, he knew that this would come up at some point. But it was just that. At some point. It’s always been a hypothetical. Harry never thought it would bother him. But now, watching Louis squirm as he watches that other guy, it’s just not a hypothetical anymore. And Harry is very bothered by it.“or: Harry’s discovery that he like boys as well as girls. One boy in particular catches his eye and he’s determined to get him. (22k)

- wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  : ‘I don’t cheat,’ Louis murmurs, but even now he isn’t pushing away.‘I know,’ Harry replies, his fingertips pressing lightly to the small of Louis’ back.‘Me and her. We’re on a break,’ he says, and his hands are slipping down Harry’s body, catching at the top of his jeans. ‘It’s not cheating.’Harry draws in a shaky breath, hypersensitive. ‘I know.’(Louis is moving out of the flat he shares with Harry because Eleanor thinks they’re too co-dependent. Harry can’t let him leave.) (8k)

- Photograph : Harry steadies his jaw. “What do you want from me?”Louis’ bottom lip wobbles. “I’m not gay.”“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?”And at that, Louis seems to completely lose his shit. He rushes towards Harry, banging his fists on Harry’s collarbones in a frenzy, and begins yelling– “I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate you so much!”Tears are rushing down his cheeks, and then he’s shoving Harry away, drunk out of his ass, causing Harry to stumble back a bit. Louis then begins to clutch at himself, fisting his own clothes to his chest, dribble falling from his mouth, his arms shaky and his back hunched.“Fuckfuckfuckufkcufkc!” He spits, face contorted, hands trembling. “I hate you!”“No, you don’t.” Harry steps forward, face concerned. “You don’t hate me.”- An epic love story in which Harry is too in love for his own good, Louis is in denial of his sexuality, and they write songs instead of actually talking to each other. (207k)

- i’m a beggar in the morning (i’m a king at night)  : ever since harry whispered things about louis at the grocery store they’ve been best friends and harry’s straight and louis’ not and that’s just how it is.   “Sweet dreams, love,” Louis murmurs, and even though he feels creepy, he slips his hand in between Harry’s thighs and it’s warm and he kisses his cheek. He turns and leaves and doesn’t see that Harry’s eyes snap open or hear that a whine comes from his mouth. (6.6k)

- Not So Typical  : Harry Styles; football phenomenon, academic prodigy and the most liked guy at Washington State.  Harry has it all; the looks, the popularity, the best friends and it doesn’t hurt that there is a line of girls ready to jump his bones at any second.  It all was perfect…almost perfect that is.  Until that one night, with that one too many drink still burning in his throat and those piercing blue eyes infusing themselves into his every thought.  (90k)

- how many secrets can you keep?  : Harry, a homophobic Christian, joins Louis’ gay-straight alliance club at school, hoping to somehow attract lesbians (he’ll work out the logistics later). Louis shows him what he didn’t know he was actually there for.  (11k)

- I’m Trying Not To Make A Sound  : Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, wow, this feels incredible. or basically, "I am in fact straight.” / “Don’t knock it till you try it.” (10k)

- Fumbling In The Dark  : Louis is straight, Harry is not. They still shag a lot. (21k)

- Supposed to Be  : “I’m making a movie for a film competition, and I want you to be in it,” Harry told Louis. “I think you would be a great leading actor in it.”
“Why?” “Because it’s you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all about the amazing Louis Tomlinson? It would be a great movie.” “You don’t have some weird crush or, like, secret obsession with me, do you?” Louis asked.
Harry bit his tongue so he didn’t say “Ew, I have standards.” He didn’t think that would go over well. Of course, that was assuming Louis understood what that meant. — Or, the Geek Charming AU where Harry’s a film geek, Louis’ a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want
. (20k)

- Both Showing Hearts  : Louis Tomlinson is, in fact, not straight. Harry Styles isn’t sure what he is. Together, they figure it out, and maybe fall in love along the way.Or, the Uni AU where Louis helps Harry figure out his sexuality, Niall crashes a bachelorette party, Liam works in a printing centre, and Zayn happens to need lots of printing done. (113k)

- you and me  : au; harry is potentially screwed and louis is definitely hopeless, but its ok because as long as they’re in each other’s lives, everything will somehow probably turn out the way that its supposed to. (12k)

- and it was like slow motion  : What’s up?“ Harry asked. Niall shook his head. "Nothing, I just was wondering what was going on with you and Louis.” Harry could feel his cheeks heat up and he shook his head. “There isn’t anything going on.” He raised an eyebrow. “Ye'sure? You guys are just rather touchy. You’re not like- fucking, are you?” Harry nearly choked on his spit and waved his hands violently, making Niall stop. “No! No, I swear. There’s nothing going on. We’re just friends. Besides, I don’t even like guys like that.”  He gave him an even more disbelieving look, but nodded nonetheless. “Alright. The way you guys look at each other doesn’t quite say "just friends” but. Don’t fuck anything up if you do end up doing anything.“ Harry rolled his eyes but agreed. "Nothing’ll happen but if it makes you feel better.” “Something better,” he said, walking out the kitchen. “I’ve got 20 bucks on it."or harry and louis are roommates that like to get each other jealous a little bit too much (6.6k)

- Talk Dirty When You Talk To Me  : After a night out with Stan, Louis gets a dirty text message from a unknown number. Thinking its his best friend he replies. It turns out to be a boy named Harry. An experience Louis’ never had before happens after a heated discussion with said boy. (8.8k)

Update (last update on October 30th 2016)

- Supposed to Be : “I’m making a movie for a film competition, and I want you to be in it,” Harry told Louis. “I think you would be a great leading actor in it.”
“Why?” “Because it’s you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all about the amazing Louis Tomlinson? It would be a great movie.” “You don’t have some weird crush or, like, secret obsession with me, do you?” Louis asked. Harry bit his tongue so he didn’t say “Ew, I have standards.” He didn’t think that would go over well. Of course, that was assuming Louis understood what that meant. —
Or, the Geek Charming AU where Harry’s a film geek, Louis’ a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want
. (26k)

- Pillow Talk :  “So, do you think I should… find someone to fool around with?” Harry asks, nervous again. “To see if I like it?”  Louis swallows hard but hopes he covers it pretty well with a casual shrug. “I mean, it would probably help to know that you actually want everything that goes along with being with a guy. If you can’t handle the machinery, it’s probably not for you, you know?”  Harry nods and appears to be steeling himself. Louis tenses, afraid that he knows what’s coming.  “Would you do it?”  “Do what?” Louis plays dumb.  Harry has to take another deep breath before he can say it.  “Will you help me figure out if I like it? Being with a boy?” Or When Harry starts having confusing feelings for a male classmate, his sister’s best friend, Louis, helps him figure himself out. Cue lots of kissing, sex, and falling in love. (25k)

- Nobody compares to you : Harry has a long-term crush on his bandmate and best friend Louis, who is straight, at least as far as he knows. He also starts falling in love with this guy he met on tumblr. Who also has a crush on his own best mate. Things are about to get complicated.Or, the one where Harry falls in love twice, Louis is just incredibly sweet and supportive, and Al from tumblr is super nice but also really secretive about his identity - not that Harry can blame him, considering his own blog is run under false pretences, too. (10k)

- Let Me Teach You Something : AU: College/UniversityIn the last year of their degree program, the five boys are put in a group for the duration of a year long Capstone class. They will spend days and nights together working tirelessly to finish school. Louis has no problem with his sexuality and has the notches on his bed post to prove it, but will straight-laced, straight-boy Harry change all that?  (72k

- Completely, and Absolutely : Louis is so completely and absolutely NOT gay that the fact that anyone thinks Harry is his soulmate is just being ridiculous. Including himself. He just thinks they’re mates that are two parts of the same soul, and that’s not weird at all. Okay?Or, the one in which Louis spends the entirety of X Factor so deep in denial that he doesn’t realize he’s gay until he’s already 3000% gone for the dimpled mess in his arms. (2.5k)

- the impossible now : A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction. (49k)

anonymous asked:

Talk About Them + lucienrhyspendergast

@lucienrhyspendergast

“Send me ‘Talk about them’ + a URL and I’ll talk about them!”

I’m pretty much bouncing in my seat about this. I looooooooove love love LOVE them so much. Lucien and the mun are the best ever. It’s actually pretty amazing that my character, my Salem, is going to marry Lucien.

Our Skype RPs really bring me up and out of any negative mood I might be in and she tries her best to cheer me up. I love her and Lucien soo much<3 I’m excited for their wedding and when Lucien goes off to basic, both Salem and I will be in tears. Thank you for being the best <3 

Originally posted by thebestcatblog

In which more than one person loves Zayn aka why Kasia is a fool aka Ziam masterpost

Thank you for your wonderful post @winterwonderziall but I still fail to understand why you would deny the obvious love that also exists between Zayn and Liam.

So here’s a masterpost of Ziam’s love aka the most loyal and true kind of love you could ever hope to find.

Keep reading

She’ll Never Know How Much I Loved Her

She’ll never know that she had the best laugh I’ve ever heard.

She’ll never know that I remember exactly how she got that sliver of a scar on her right elbow, falling off the swing set in first grade. I knew even then.

She’ll never know that I kept the poem she wrote about her mom for Honors English but threw away after class.

She’ll never know that I actually think she looks the most adorable when she wears her glasses.

She’ll never know about the hundreds of times I started to write her a letter but stopped.

She’ll never know about the song I wrote.

She’ll never know I loved her – really, really loved her.

She’ll never know any of these things because I never told her.

She’ll never know because we graduated and went our separate ways.

She’ll never know because it’s too late.

- That Guy In Your Class

I love Karen very much. I saw her last night actually. She cracks me up that girl. She‘s brilliant and I‘m very proud of her. We‘ve come so far as a team and we‘ve grown as actors. We‘ve shared something we won‘t ever forget. I‘m sure it will be a common bond between us for a long time.

-Matt Smith talking about Karen Gillan

Video Masterpost - London, UK 08/06/14

OTHER:

Impossible (part 1)

Hi my dearies! Here’s my new multi-chaptered fic! I hope you like it! Also, this is my first attempt at smut so please bear with me!

The wonderful people who wished to be tagged : allimidori ; alyssaloca ; angiepttanglophileyoungblood ; bitchy-broken ; borntosik ; celestev31 ; ducky17 ; hewittgolightly ; i-dream-of-emus ; ililypopkneekeyta ; kristicallahan ; lethallylauren ; llexismilllott ; milymargot ; mirandasmadeofstone ; myfinnnelsonpls ; murderyoursoul ; ninjarunningzico ; tinakegg ; twlokigoosevoodoomarie ; wandering-soul-7

Keep reading

5SOS preference #1 - I love you

Calum: You were out in aclub with your friends, celebrating the end of their successful tour. You were really happy for them, but you missed spending time with them. Mostly you missed Cal, since he was your best friend (and you had a not so tiny crush on him, but nobody had to know that). You were all sitting in a booth in the VIP zone, because boys didn’t want anyone to interrupt your celebration, especially paps. Cal was a bit bored, he wanted to dance, but none of you felt like it, so he went to the dance floor alone. After a few more drinks you had enough and decided to go home. You hugged the boys and went to find Calum to say goodbye. You passed the drunk and sweaty people on the dance floor with a disgusted face. You finally found Cal dancing clumsily and laughing loudly.

“Hey, Calum. I’m going home.” you said, leaning over and hoping he heard you.

“Nooo, Y/ N donut gooo! I wanna dance with youuu!” Calum pleaded.

“Cal, I’m tired and I have school tomorrow.” you protested.

“Please, just one dance.” he pouted.

“Stop looking at me like that, you know I cannot resist.” you smiled and tried to look away, but he kept getting in front of your face.

“Ugh, fine! But just one dance.” You finally gave up.

“Yes! Thank you.” he smiled and hugged you. You started dancing to a loud song you have never heard before and it was awful, but you enjoyed fooling around with Cal, jumping up and down and laughing like idiots.

After the song has ended, Calum hugged you tightly and whispered into your hair: “You’re the best. I love you. Like- love love you.”

“Cal, you’re drunk.” you said sadly.

“That is true, but it doesn’t change the way I feel about you, Y/N. I love you. And not just when I’m drunk enough to tell you, but like- all the time, ever since we met.” he kept talking, his words a bit slurred, but you saw the sincerity in his eyes. He was actually saying the truth.

“And Luke told me that you love me too… I don’t think so, but… do you?” he asked, looking hopefully into your eyes as if he could find the answer there.

“Yes, Cal. I love you.” you smiled gently at him and kissed his cheek. “Now let’s get you home, you’ve had enough for tonight.” you laughed as he tried to walk. He looked so cute, like a baby giraffe making its first steps. You helped him into a taxi and went straight to your flat. You undressed him to his boxers and got to bed together, falling asleep pressed tightly to each other, like many nights before, hoping he’d say the same three words even when he’s sober in the morning.

Luke: You and Luke have been dating for over a year. It’s been amazing, even though the distance was killing you when he was on tour.

He was on the other side of the world right now. You just woke up and it was Saturday. You immediately took your phone in your hand, dialing Luke’s number.

“Hey, honey!” he said excitedly. You could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hey, love.” you answered sleepily, smiling too.

“You just woke up, didn’t you?” he asked. You hummed in agreement and cuddled your face into Luke’s pillow. It still smelled like his shampoo.

“I miss you.” you whispered. You knew he hated when you were sad about the distance that was keeping you apart.

“I miss you, too, baby.” he said sadly. You started sniffling. “No, c'mon, Y/N. Don’t cry, please. I’m going to come home soon.” he promised.

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just so hard, being here without you.” tears started streaming down your face.

“Shh, baby… It’s okay.” he soothed you. Luke knew that sometimes it was all too much and you needed to cry a little and let it all out. “I love you, Y/N. It’s okay. I need you to stay strong. It’s just a few more days, love.” he was desperately trying to stop your sobs.

“You love me?” you asked.

“Of course. Thought it was obvious.”

“You just never said it before.”

“Neither did you… I was planning on telling you on a romantic dinner or something… Wanted to make it special, but that doesn’t matter.” he babbled, embarrassed. He didn’t even realize he said the three words.

“I love you too, Luke.” you said with a watery smile. For a moment you were both quiet, enjoying the moment.

“I’m sorry baby, but I have to go. We’ve got an interview in five minutes. I love you and I’ll be home soon.” he made a kissing noise into the speaker.

“I love you too, Luke. Call me after you’re done.” you also sent him a few kisses and ended the call, happy and settled.

Ashton: You were sitting on a couch, giving your boyfriend Ash silent treatment. He shouldn’t have said that the spaghetti you made for dinner were overcooked. It was delicious and you were proud of yourself for cooking such a good meal. He was just teasing you, you knew it. But it was still offensive from your point of view.

“C'mon, Y/N. It was just a joke, baby. Don’t be mad at me, please.” he tried to make you forgive him with his puppy dog eyes, but you didn’t want to give up that easily. You kept ignoring him, watching TV and desperately trying not to smile at how adorable your boyfriend looked.

“C'mon, baby…” he didn’t want to give up either. He kept apologizing for another ten minutes. Then he stopped.

“There’s one thing that you cannot resist…” he mumbled more to himself than to you. Before you could escape he started tickling your sides.

“No, Ash stop!” you yelled, laughing uncontrollably.

“Not until you say you forgive me.” he smiled at you devilishly and straddled your hips. You rolled both of you over and you fell to the ground. After you made sure Ashton wasn’t hurt, you started tickling him as a revenge.

“You have to admit my cooking skills are perfect and that the dinner was delicious.” He was laughing so hard, he couldn’t say anything, so you stopped.“Say it!” you demanded.

“The dinner was absolutely amazing, darling, just like your cooking skills.” he smiled at you and kissed you. He rolled you over so he was on top of you. “I was just teasing you, honey… Do you forgive me now?” he asked looking at you hopefully.

“Maybe.” you answered and pressed your lips against his tenderly.

“I love you.” he said the three words he’s been dying to tell you for a long time, but the moment was never right.

“Of course you love me. I’m fabulous!” both of you laughed and kissed again.

“But seriously, Y/N. I love you.” he whispered as he brushed your hair out of your eyes.

You smiled up at him and said “I love you too” with a wide smile as he leaned down to kiss you again.

 

Mike: You were at your friend’s house, crying your eyes out after the fight you had with your boyfriend Michael. It was three days and he didn’t even try to contact you. It was not official, but it actually seemed like you two broke up. You certainly did not want that. It was just a stupid fight, you didn’t want to end your relationship just because of a misunderstanding. He saw you in a restaurant with your brother (who Mike has not seen before), and he assumed you were cheating on him. He didn’t let you explain, he simply kicked you out. You were heartbroken, but also really mad at him. How could he possibly think that you’d ever cheat on him. You loved him, you told him a lot of times before. But he never said it back. Maybe that’s why he didn’t call, why he didn’t let you explain. He didn’t love you, but didn’t want to break up so he wouldn’t be the bad guy. When he saw you “cheating on him” he used it as an opportunity and took the easy way out of the relationship he no longer wanted to be in.

“Y/N” your friend said as she sat down beside you and hugged you. “I’m really sorry about what happened. He’s an idiot.” she said, trying to cheer you up. She gave you a cup of tea and did everything to stop your tears. She finally made you laugh with a lot of funny stories.

“How about we go out? Does that sound good? We can go shopping or to the cinema.” she said.

You nodded, dried your tears and stood up to go and get dressed. When you were finally happy with what you saw in the mirror you walked back into the living room.

“Y/N… He came here.” your friend said as she pointed to the door.

“Michael?” you asked a bit unsure. She nodded.

“Do you want to talk to him? If not, I can tell him to leave you alone.”

“No… It’s okay.” you answered and walked to the door and opened it. You saw your Mikey with a sad expression and tears streaming down his face.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, trying to sound emotionless.

“I miss you, Y/N. And I’m so so sorry. It’s all my fault, I should have let you explain. Your brother met up with me and told me everything. I’m sorry, baby. Please forgive me.” he babbled as he kept crying. You just wanted to cuddle him.

“Mike, I…” you started, but couldn’t find the right words to say.

“Oh god. No please, Y/N, don’t break up with me. I know I fucked up, but I’m going to make it up to you. Please, I love you.” his voice broke at the last sentence.

“What did you say?” you asked in disbelief.

“I love you” he repeated, looking at you hopefully.

“I love you too, Mikey.” you smiled and hugged him tightly. “I forgive you. But do not do anything like this ever again or I’m going to kick you in the balls. Got me?” you both laughed.

“That’s never going to happen, I promise.” he whispered against your lips and kissed you deeply.