beside that one thing i deleted

i don’t know. 
there’s just something funny about the way we were always drawn to each other, even in the end. you became cold like i’d always been and this time i was the one unable to delete a number or stop sending so many goddamn emails.
losing: it was easy with everyone else. the thing is, i loved you, and ive only ever been able to practice the kind of dangerous, unconditional love that people say just aint there anymore. i didnt realize that you would never have it in you to stand anywhere but behind me. never in front. never beside. i understand now: this was always how it was going to end.
—  you never loved anyone enough to take a bullet for them but i was wondering if the reason you stayed for so long was that you knew i wouldn’t move if i saw one coming

Okay so, hey everyone, as you guys know I have a habit of changing my name, deleting and restarting my blog, changing my icon, etc etc. There’s an unusual reason for that besides me just not being able to make up my mind. It all kinda caught up with me when I deleted my latest. I was hesitant to write this but honestly it feels good to get it out after all these years and it makes one hell of story.

Keep reading

my spring break was spent:

- driving several hours through the countryside with the ex of the guy who likes me, her grandma, and a dog

- almost driving into a bunch of cows

- ending up in the hospital because i almost died saturday night lol that was fun

- hanging out with a three year old who calls me “talor” and counts “one, sixteen, three”

- somehow reaching a word count of 35k in revisions and freaking out because i thought i’d deleted every word again

- catching new pokemon now that i’m in the city and there are things besides pidgeys here

- and other normal things

it’s only thursday

i have three more days to go

“Whoever gets me drunk gets to take me home in the morning.” Connor teased, wiggling his eyebrows before walking over to the food. There were tons of things to do, but as usual recently, he wasn’t being very social. After a moment he looked to the person beside him. “Are you having fun? Halloween parties aren’t my thing but this is pretty cool.”

Nights Like These – Thomas Brodie Sangster  

A/N: Wow guys it’s been awhile. A lot of personal things have happened, but I’m finally back now, so here’s something short:) You guys can message me, or just email me here: (I got a new email).  A lot of the requests that I had got deleted, and I’m very sorry about that:( But, if you have a request, request it:) And one more thing, if you want someone else besides Thomas or Newt, feel free to also request it:) Love you guys! Thanks so much for all you followers!! P.S I love talking to you guys, so if any of you wanna talk or ask any questions just message me, i’ll be here :)

              Thunder roared through the sky, and rain pounded against the window of Thomas and I’s shared bedroom. I stared blankly at the white ceiling, then glanced at the blinking red clock that was sitting on the nightstand, it reading 2:13. Sighing, I glanced at Thomas, watching his steady breathing. I reached out with nimble cold fingers, and traced small shapes on his bare back. His skin was warm against my fingers, making me shiver. Nights like these, I could never sleep. But for some reason, Thomas always slept like a baby.

              Thunder rumbled again, and lightening flashed across the sky. I squeezed my eyes shut and scooted closer to Thomas, burying my face in his neck. He stirred a little and then finally turned to me, making the sheets rustle. His eyes fluttering open and instead of saying something, he just reached out and gently traced his thumb along my cheekbone. I closed my eyes, loving his warm, soft touch.

              “Can’t sleep?” His voice was husky and made his accent sound even more beautiful, if that was possible. But with my eyes still closed I nodded my head. Thomas leaned down and softly kissed my forehead then started peppering kisses all over my face. His lips were plump and soft against my skin. I let out a soft sigh and smiled. Thomas shifted in the bed, and grabbed my waist, pulling me into him. I giggled quietly, and buried my face in his firm chest. Flinching when the lightening flashed across the sky, Thomas pulled me closer and whispered sweet nothings in my ear. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.” “I love you.”

              Finally, I started to relax. My eyelids getting heavier and heavier, and my breathing becoming even. Thomas continued to whisper in my ear, and before I fully fell asleep, I mumbled a barely audible, “I love you too Thomas.”

About joe’s video...

Caspar was talking that there’s a RUMOR (they were discussing a topic: youtuber rumors) about Joe dating… Andrea Russett, but Joe said long-distance relationships are not his thing, because she lives in the US. He also mentioned like a month ago in his live show that he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

He might have met someone in Philippines/Thailand, but it was more like a one-night stand, considering Caspar & Oli’s reaction. 

So stop panicking! Besides… Joe deserves to be happy & I’d love him to have a girlfriend. :) 

P.S. Somebody asked me a question if I ship Jaspar romantically, but I accidently deleted a question. Here’s the answer:

Can’t say it might be changing a little, because while watching Jaspar vlogs I’m like: OTP 😍 date, kiss now hahaha 😆

Let me know what you think about his video!

Pearl Rose Theory

“What if Rose Didn’t Own Pearl”

So in the spirit of PearlRose Week, I will redo this theory, now with images and more details (besides I was stupid and deleted the original post by accident).

After “Back to the barn” three major things were revealed that directly affect the relation between Rose Quartz and Pearland gve a lot of hints about how homeworld works:

Keep reading

So wait, people think tumblr is gonna be deleted because its unprofitable?

I mean. Youtube hasn’t turned a profit in a single year since Google bought it. Yes, since 2006, entire last 10 years, no profit. Never, nope, majority of its ad revenue goes to creators, part of the reason why Youtube Red became a thing (to try and make some profit), and also why Youtube became one of the first platforms where it was viable to make a living by content creation online.

But deleting it would be insane. It’d a) make all money invested into it void and b) deleting such a popular site would be PR NIGHTMARE. Yahoo might as well declare bankruptcy from the instant backlash (I mean, Google COULD probably survive deletion of Youtube, MAYBE. Yahoo, on the other hand, is NOTHING).

Besides, blog and social media sites generally AREN’T deleted. MySpace and livejournal are still up (they have made staff layoffs, yes) - in general, reminding people that everything they post online is not pernament part of their life, but merely a fleeting whimsy of a big company hosting it is not exactly in anyone’s interest.

If anything, we’re running into a wall which proves how fucking limited capitalism is, with sites like Youtube and Tumblr being closer to public necessities like libraries or parks (they pretty much ARE public spaces) than profitable business ventures, while their very nature requiring them to be private rather than government-controlled.

Fitzsimmons in the Academy [my no-headcanons]

We all remember the famous deleted scenes from ‘Seeds’ right? The one about Simmons’ boyfriends and Fitz loneliness. I get it why many people have some headcanons about it, but here’s the thing: I don’t share most of them. So here are my no-headcanons about Fitzsimmons in the Academy:

  1. Simmons and her great fashion sense.
    What she said was “Beyond average fashion sense”. Does that mean she was always dressed nicely and fashionable? Well, for me it means that she was not dressing in average way. So she was not dressing like other girls and she thought she was dressing better. And so, she was not following the fashion but wearing what she thought is nice. I’m afraid she might even stood out a little with her “fashion sense”. And she hasn’t even noticed that.
  2. Simmons had an active dating life.
    “It draws attention from the opposite gender”- that’s exactly what she said. Which implies that it was the guys chatting her up, not the other way round. I really can’t imagine Simmons flirting with anyone even now, not when she couldn’t see the way Trip and Fitz were looking at her, not to mention how smoothly she accepted Fitz’s date invitation. I doubt she was any better at this in the Academy.
  3. Simmons had boyfriends, Fitz never had a girlfriend.
    Simmons answer to Skye’s “Simmons had boyfriends” is quite clear: “Not quite.” So she did not have boyfriends, she had dates. Usually first dates and then she was not interested since they were boring. On the other hand Fitz admits that he doesn’t have an ex and so he hasn’t had a girlfriend. But that does not imply he hasn’t had any dates! Actually I wouldn’t even go as far as saying that he hasn’t been dating anyone for, let’s say, a month or something, without treating this serious enough to call that girl an “ex”. Rember how in “When Harry Met Sally” they talk about their dates and Harry admits that his was terrible? Sally tries to cheer him up by saying that it will take time for them to enjoy dating and even more time to have sex, to which Harry replies that he had sex with the girl. The point is: it’s slightly different for guys in terms of definitions. So we can say for sure that Fitz never was going out with anyone he treated seriously. I wouldn’t say that he never had a date or sex though.
  4. Fitz was a poor lonely boy sitting inside his room until Simmons got him out.
    I always thought Fitz is the more social one of these two. He was the one who slapped Ward in ‘Pilot’. He was the one who got all friendly with Martha in ‘The Hub’. Let’s face it, he can be charming if he wants to. Still, in Seeds he admits that he was a bit of a loner, nobody could understand him until Simmons came. But here’s the catch: no loner calls himself that. A true loner thinks he’s completely normal. And Fitz sees that he was not as outgoing as he thinks he should be. Which for me implies that at least he was making an effort. Which means that no, he was not crying alone in his room and trying to loose himself in his projects.

I feel so sad because nobody appreciates the little things anymore, like? I don’t get much attention for my art but sometimes I get these little compliments and it just makes me so happy. So what if you don’t get 100k+ notes? You made something great enough that someone liked it enough to tell you! Even if it’s just one or two or even ten people!

Besides, drawing for yourself should be the top priority. If it makes you happy then who cares if it gets overlooked? It’s yours and you should love every little artwork you make from the silly 5 minute doodles to the ones you work days on!

Your art is wonderful no matter how little recognition you get for it.