Bert’s Hall of Great Inventions(1972), illustrated by Roger Bradfield.
I remember this one. Ernie shows Bert that all his great inventions already exist in the animal kingdom, and better. Great little concept. I was fascinated by the back cover too, which is by Michael J. Smollin.
In Hell, as on Earth, it is better to give
than to receive. Anything. Literally, anything someone gives you while
you are in Hell causes pain. Accept nothing. Not even a “hello”; Those
hurt like the Dickens.
Source: Fundamental Principles of Hell by Bert S. Gray, 1906.
•Eren: Movie (Obviously, even though we’re assuming this is a Modern AU and he went to school and can read but shhh). He’d rather sit and watch the movie rather than read the book, because he hates reading books.
•Mikasa: Both. She’ll read the book just for fun, and then watch the movie just to see how different it was made from the book.
•Armin: Book (Duh.) He’s very particular over the tiniest details, and gets disappointed when he watches the movie adaptions.
•Jean: Movie. Finds reading boring.
•Connie: Movie. Doesn’t have the attention span for reading.
•Sasha: Movie. She just likes it because she can snack on the extra large popcorn…and everything else at the movie theaters.
•Reiner: Movie. Loves watching all the action, because he has a hard time picturing it when reading.
•Bert: Book. He likes the peace and quiet he gets from reading an invigorating story.
•Annie: Book. She usually reads with Armin, and they both discuss what they liked and disliked about the book.
•Christa: Book. She only sees the movie because of Ymir.
•Ymir: Movie. Only reads the book because of Christa.
•Erwin: Book. He’s usually more engrossed in a book, and he finds the movie to be inadequate if they stray even a bit from the original storyline.
•Mike: Movie. He prefers watching it, because it catches his attention more.
•Hanji: Book. She loves to envision it, and theorize over it, rather than have it in movie form, where they cut so much out.
•Levi: Book. He hates movie theaters, and the obnoxious hype of movies, and prefers to stay indoors, with a cup of tea, and an interesting book.
Here is my exam for the third year of my bachelor. You had to produce a pitch package to sell a comic book line.This is the sample page and some concept dev. I chose to create a comic satire of Mary Poppins. Here I introduce you to Mary Robbins ! All right reserved.
Short answer: They knew each other the longest and they were friends the longest, they were basically like brothers
‘The last time I met him, he was very sick and I held his hand for four hours. As I was doing it I was thinking “I’ve never held his hand before, ever. This is not what two Liverpool fellas do, no matter how well you know each other.” I kept thinking, “he’s going to smack me here.” But he didn’t. He just stroked my hand with his thumb and I thought “Ah, this is OK, this is life. It’s tough but it’s lovely. That’s how it is.” I knew George before I knew any of the others and I loved that man. I’m so proud to have known him.” - Paul
“Underneath it all, I believe that Paul sincerely loved George; and at some level George loved Paul as well. But they had a hard time expressing it.“
"I knew George long before the others. We were good chums despite his tender years as it seemed to me then. We were always together. He lived near me in Upton Green and I lived in Ardwick Road, half a mile away, so we took the same bus to the same school, and then we got guitars at the same time. We went through the Bert Weedon books and learned D and A together and we were quite big buddies then. That was something I’d missed for all those years” – Paul
“George and I lived very near each other in Liverpool. So, in fact we were just a bus stop away from each other. I’d get on the bus, and then the stop afterwards George would get on. So being quite close in age we’d sit together, and we’d talk about stuff and that” - Paul
“ I believe Paul missed George as much as — if not more than — anybody.”
“George told me once that I smelt like home. I got all paranoid, you know, thinking I smelt of fish and chip shops or dirty bars or something. But he said no, I just always smelt of home.” - Paul
“Paul is very protective of George.”
“George was always known as the quiet one, but he had a wicked sense of humour. He and Paul tricked two fans into thinking that they were really brothers and George signed his name “George McCartney” for them.”
““They used to jump on me. George used to wake me up by tickling my feet.” – Paul
“There was this guy called Ritter who was in our group at school, and George was in the younger group, and I remember we’d been standing around at playground and I’d tried to introduce George to Ritter, introduce him into my peer group. And being a year younger it was kind of difficult. I said, ‘Hey, this is George Harrison. He’s a mate of mine. We get on the same bus together.’ And we’d been sitting around, and George suddenly head-butted this friend of mine.When asked for the reason for the headbutt, George replied: ‘He wasn’t worthy of your friendship.” – Paul
“God, my mate George, isn’t he a good-looking boy!” - Paul
“Thing is, there’s a lot about me and George that the public don’t know about, and I like it better that way. That night was very personal, and very special to me. It’s one of my favourite memories.” – Paul
Reiner is like star football player and Bert is this math nerd. And one day Reiner is just
“Hey, would you mind tutoring me sometime? I need to pull up my grades or else I can’t play next season.”
And Bert is sweating and nervous but just nods because yes he’s finally getting to talk to this awesome football star.
So they go to a Starbucks (okay Eren and Armin totally work at this Starbucks too this is important), and Reiner is there and he’s all happy with his book. And Bert walks in and it’s cold outside and he sits down so Reiner is like
“Here, wear my jacket.” And just drapes his sports jacket over Bert’s shoulders and sits down to get to studying (Bert isn’t really cold but he just walked in from outside without a jacket because he’s always hot so the cold doesn’t really bother him). And Bert is trying to focus but he can’t because it’s Reiner and he’s perfect.
And as they’re studying, Bert just “THERE’S A HIGH PROBABILITY I REALLY LIKE YOU” out of nowhere and he gasps and stares because yeah he just confessed this to his crush using a fucking math pun like a nerd.
Reiner stares at him and smiles and kisses his cheek and “I’m glad you said it. Because I was nervous about telling you first.”
And they’re all happy smiles. Eren and Armin have totally been watching the entire time too and they’re like “Oh God it’s cute, let should get free scones” or something
We didn’t get many spoilers last week. This is my version of what may have happened.
Sheldon walks out of the bedroom after getting dressed. His nose is met immediately with the smell of cinnamon rolls. Not just any cinnamon rolls but her homemade ones that she has to make a night in advance. The cinnamon rolls she only makes when she wants something because she knows he can’t resist them.
“Let’s not beat around around the bush Amy. What do you want?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Amy sniffs.
“So you made me my favorite breakfast on a Wednesday with absolutely no pretense whatsoever?” Sheldon asks dipping his tea bag into his mug that Amy had just filled with water from the kettle.
“Fine! I have a teensy little favor to ask of you.” Amy says sipping her tea and setting a giant cinnamon roll on his plate.
“How teensy?” Sheldon asks raising his eyebrows suspiciously.
“I want to host a brunch here next weekend.” Amy says.
“You can do whatever you like. I suppose that I could find something to occupy my time while you do that.” Sheldon tells her sipping his tea.
“I don’t want you to find something else to do. I want you there. I want to host the brunch together as a couple.” Amy says fiddling with her hair.
“Amy that’s not a tiny favor. That’s a huge favor! One as big as this cinnamon roll.” Sheldon says holding the pastry up to his head for comparison.
“Please Sheldon! Part of this experiment is doing all the things a normal couple cohabiting would do. Hosting a party is one of those things.” Amy pleads.
“I suppose having our friends here for a late breakfast would not be too out of the ordinary.” Sheldon says and Amy looks pensive chewing her lip nervously.
“What else aren’t you telling me?” He asks familiar with the expression.
“Our normal friends wouldn’t be there. It would be acquaintances from work and esuch.” Amy says and Sheldon looks horrified.
“Amy! Absolutely not!” He says.
“Think about it Sheldon. The only way to truly text if our jointly hosted party is a success is to use a control group. Of course our friends will react appropriately and tell us we did a good job. The only way to truly test it is with people we aren’t close with. It’s for science.” Amy wheedles.
“You know what it does to me when you talk science.” He tells her his voice a deep rumble.
“ I do.” Amy says smugly. “Also consider this Sheldon. We are Caltech’s premiere power couple.”
“We are?” Sheldon asks confused.
“Yes! I am like Jennifer Aniston and you are Justin Theroux.” Amy tells him.
“I have no idea who those people are.” Sheldon tells her.
“Just know I am the cool girl and you are my hunky man candy who is famous by proxy.” Amy tells him and he looks like he is considering it.
“I don’t know how I feel about being the man candy. We really are cool?” Sheldon asks.
“I have it on very good authority that we are the coolest on campus.” Amy tells him.
“That is a title I have never previously held. I suppose it is only my duty to uphold it.” Sheldon muses.
“Exactly! So are you in?” Amy asks eagerly.
“Yes, let’s do this. One question does it have to be brunch? You know how I feel about it.” Sheldon asks wearily.
“I know how you feel. Don’t worry it will just be a breakfast. Later in the day. With booze.” Amy says quickly taking a sip of her tea while Sheldon gives her a scandalized look.
“Fine, I guess while entertaining you have to take in account your guests beverage preferences. So who exactly is coming to this party.”
“Just a few of our casual acquaintances.” Amy says airily.
The day of the brunch comes and their apartment is filled with people. More than Sheldon feels strictly comfortable with. There are faces he recognizes and some he doesn’t. He tries not to focus on the other people and keeps his eyes trained on Amy.
Amy is in her element fluttering around the party playing the part of social butterfly. It does put a small smile on his face to see her so happy. Handing out drinks and making sure everyone enjoyed the food they cooked together. Sheldon picks at his frittata and fruit. His nerves at the amount of people in the room over riding his hunger.
“She’s great isn’t she.” He hears a gruff voice say behind him. Startled he turns around to see a giant man hovering over his shoulder staring at Amy.
“Excuse me?” Sheldon asks.
“Amy, she’s great. Your one lucky guy. I’m Bert by the way I work in the geology department.” He says sticking out a meaty hand which Sheldon ignores. He does not shakes hands especially with some dirt monkey.
“Yes Amy is a force of nature.” Sheldon agrees watching as she laughs at something Professor Gunderson has just said.
“How did you do it man? “ Bert asks Sheldon.
“Do what?” Sheldon asks curiously.
“Get Amy! When she first came to Caltech we were all in love with her. I even brought her a pretty rock everyday. But she didn’t want anything to do with me.” Bert says looking at Amy with longing.
“You know I almost had a chance her.” Stuart says coming up beside Sheldon and looking at Amy. “I was this close to taking her away from this guy.”
“I don’t think…” Sheldon starts but Bert interrupts him.
“Really?” He asks.
“Yeah, We went out for pumpkin lattes one night. Then to a movie it was going really well until Sheldon burst in and took her away from me.” Stuart says bitterly.
“Not cool man.” Bert says to Sheldon shaking his head. “ I kill for a coffee date with Amy. Did you get to kiss her?” Bert asks Stuart and he shakes his head sadly.
“No, but we shared a fairly passionate hug by her door.” By this time Sheldon is really hot around the collar. He doesn’t want to hear other men fawn over what’s his. Sheldon grabs a flute of orange juice from a tray and downs it. Still thirsty and annoyed he quickly downs another.
“I beg your pardon gentlemen.” Sheldon says. “I believe Bert asked me a question. How did I get Amy? Amy has been mine way before either of you two characters laid eyes on her. Stuart you never stood a chance with Amy. You were simply a pawn in her game to get me to admit my feelings.” Sheldon tells him angrily.
“I don’t think that’s true. You two weren’t dating back then. Amy could have easily decided that I was better for her.” Stuart says lamely.
“Oh? Amy would decide an impoverished peddler of picture books. Who falls in love with any girl who says hello to him. Was better for her than a world renowned physicist who has only ever been in love with her?” Sheldon says hotly downing another glass of orange juice.
“He got you there.” Bert admits. Then Sheldon rounds on Bert.
“And you gentle giant ,could have brought her a lump of carbon with their atoms neatly arranged and she still would not have left me for some rock jockey.” Sheldon tells Bert. By this time he is fairly yelling at Amy’s two would be suitors. Amy walks over to see what all the commotion is about.
“Sheldon why are you yelling at our guests?” Amy asks.
“They were talking about how much they wanted you and leering.” Sheldon hiccups. Amy takes note of the champagne flute still clutched in his fist.
“Sheldon, how many of these have you had?” Amy asks taking it from him.
“Like four? What does it matter I can drink as much orange juice as I want.” He says hiccuping.
“These are not just orange juice Sheldon. They are mimosas they have champagne in them.” Amy says shaking her head. “I’m sorry you guys Sheldon doesn’t drink much. Alcohol goes right to his head.”
“It’s okay Amy, we were a bit out of line.” Stuart tells her.
“Be that as it may. You are our guests and Sheldon owes you an apology.” Amy says grabbing Sheldon by his arm. “Sheldon, go on.” He looks at her angrily but concedes.
“Stuart I’m sorry I called you an impoverished peddler of picture books. Bert I’m sorry I called you a rock jockey. I had alcohol and it caused me to be reckless with my words.” Sheldon says bowing his head.
“Thank you Sheldon.” Amy says smiling at him.
“I accept your apology.” Stuart tells him.
“It’s okay ,to be fair he was right. One of the rocks I brought you was an uncut diamond.” Bert admits sheepishly. Amy looks at him a shocked.
“Now that apologies are out of the way I will issue you a warning. Amy is mine and only mine. I will not stand for you openly ogling her in front of me. Only I’m allowed to do that.” He Says then he surprises everyone by grabbing Amy and kissing her passionately.
Amy is hesitant at first but she can’t resist him under any conditions. Soon she is wrapped around him, her fingers in his hair. When Sheldon breaks away Amy is breathless and pink in the cheeks. She would admonish him for such a public display of male dominance if it didn’t please her so much.
“Come on Sheldon I want to introduce you to my lab assistant.” Amy says pulling him away from Stuart and Bert.
Sheldon looks over his shoulder and makes an “I’m watching you.” Gesture. Then he mouths she’s mine to them before turning back around. Stuart and Bert just look at each other and shrug.
“That’s one lucky man.” Bert sighs eying Amy’s bottom as she walks away.