beretta shotgun

That’s right: After “no amount of creams, ointments or doctors’ appointments” helped, Murphy decided it was time to take things to another level. He just so happened to have run across a 12-gauge Beretta shotgun that had been responsibly disposed of underneath a hedge, and Murphy had decided to keep it rather than alert the authorities because, hey, free shotgun. So, Murphy sat down with his new boomstick and, after a lot of careful deliberation, drank a whole shitload of beer. Then, after some much less careful deliberation, he took aim and blew the wart into oblivion … along with the finger it was attached to.

Murphy was apparently surprised to lose his entire finger in the incident, and blamed the result on the gun’s recoil. You know, instead of the copious amounts of alcohol in his system, or the fact that trying to shoot a wart off of a finger with a 12-gauge shotgun is like trying to … actually, there is no comparison we can come up with crazier than this. In fact, from now on when trying to demonstrate overkill, we’ll use the phrase “Like trying to remove a wart with a shotgun.”

The consequences didn’t end there, though. Since the British legal system doesn’t accept “finders keepers” as a defense against illegal possession of a firearm, Murphy found himself facing up to 15 years in prison.

7 People Who Risked It All to Achieve (Very Stupid) Goals

  • Finn: What did FP mean last night when she said, "I haven't slept with him yet." Yet! What does "yet" mean anyway? It means you're gonna do it, doesn't it? Or does it?
  • [Later]
  • Finn: [to Marceline] Just come on. What would it mean to you, that sentence: I haven't seen Evil Dead II yet?
  • Marceline: [looks at Finn, picks up BMO and starts playing a game] Well, to me, it would mean that you're a liar. You've seen it twice. Once with Phoebe -- oops -- and once with me and Bonnie, remember? We had that conversation about the guy making Beretta shotgun ammo off-screen in the 14th century.
  • Finn: Right, all right. But let's just say that I hadn't seen it and I said to you, "I haven't seen Evil Dead II yet," what would you think?
  • Marceline: I'd think that you're a cinematic idiot and I'd feel sorry for you.
  • Finn: All right. But from that one sentence, would you think that I was going to see it?
  • Marceline: [puts BMO down] I'm sorry, Finn. I'm struggling here. You're asking me what would I think if you told me you hadn't seen a film that you have already seen. What am I supposed to say?
  • Finn: Just listen to me. If I said to you--
  • Marceline: "--I haven't seen Evil Dead II yet," yeah, yeah, I hear you--
  • Finn: Would you... would you get the impression that I really wanted to see it?
  • Marceline: Oh, uh, well you couldn't have been desperate to see it, otherwise you'd have already gone...
  • Finn: [brightens up as Marceline considers]
  • Marceline: ... But the word "yet". Yeah, you know what? I'd get the impression that you wanted to see it otherwise you'd have said you didn't wanna go.
  • Finn: But in your opinion, would I definitely go?
  • Marceline: [annoyed] How the fuck am I supposed to know?! Probably!
  • Finn: Why?
  • Marceline: Because it's a brilliant film. It's so funny, and violent, and the soundtrack kicks fucking ass. I never thought I'd say this, but can I go work now?