- Canon: this character's dead!
- Me: oh no they're not, uh, they're just resting
- Canon: they're stone dead!
- Me: n-no - they're just stunned, that's it!
- Canon: STUNNED?!
- Me: they're - they're probably just pinin' for the fjords
- Canon: PINING for the FJORDS? Now see here! They're bleeding demised! Look, they're lying on their back!
- Me: that character prefers sleeping on their back, you know
- Canon: this character has ceased to be! They've expired and gone to meet their maker! They're stiff! Bereft of life, they rest in peace! They're pushin' up daisies! Their metabolic processes are history! They're off the twig! They've kicked the bucket! They've shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding CHOIR INVISIBLE!
- Me: remarkable character, that one
- Canon: THIS IS AN EX-CHARACTER!
- Me: lovely backstory