bereavement

Hey guys.

I’m sorry to announce this but an online friend of mine passed away recently. It was very sudden and he was rather young. I found out a few days late and I have never felt so so heartbroken about a death in my whole entire life, I swear.

I’ve never been through this before and I feel heartbroken. The uncertainty of this is anxiety inducing to me and I am very afraid. He helped me out a wee bit and I feel terrible. I just.. don’t like this.

Please check up on me over the next few days. I’ll be queuing this post as a reminder for people to do so.

Please keep my friend’s family and friends in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.
—  Anne Lamott

May you learn to trust grief and let it take you where you need to go to heal.

May your heart heal of old wounds and regrets so that it may open to greater love and joy.

May you celebrate—every day—the wonder and mystery of being alive.

—  Honoring Grief by Alexandra Kennedy, MA
It quickly dawned on me that in losing her, I had lost that enveloping sense of unconditional love. The remaining few people who loved me did so in a conditional sense, meaning that it could be withdrawn at any moment. I think that’s when my fear of abandonment intensified severely; based on past evidence that everyone who I love leaves me eventually, and the removal of the reassurance of unconditional love, I became fearful that unless I did my utmost best to make those important to me happy, their love for me would wither up and die, and then they would be gone, just like she was.
—  The Consequences of Losing a Mother Too Young #1