benson hall

Chart of colours based upon Benson’s ‘cube of colours’: sections at right angles with the primary axes of the cube. // Illustration for the monograph Principles of the science of colour concisely stated to aid and promote their useful application in the decorative arts by William Benson (Chapman & Hall, London, 1868)

I Love Eric Andre during interviews, he’s so true to himself and says what he wants.

            - [adult swim] fan

Baby Too Soon

One-Shot request: Riley looking at Lucas with a child. I don’t know exactly what you had in mind, but this is what came to me. I hope it’s okay. 

update on chapter 2 of The Road Trip: I have one more scene to write. I’m struggling to find the words. It will be up to night, but really really late. 


It’s Monday evening and Maya and I are pacing my bedroom, my heart ready to explode. How did I get here? I’m a senior in high school, a few months away from graduation. I shouldn’t be in this situation. We were always safe, at least that’s what I thought. The two minutes seem to never end, but soon the buzzer goes off on my phone. Maya and I look at each other.

I slowly walk over my desk and pick up the little stick. I can feel my heart rate increase by the second. My eyes slowly look down, and that’s when I see two little pink lines staring back at me. I slowly walk over to the bay window not once looking up. I can hear Maya voice, but not her words.

“Riles,” she shakes my shoulders, and I’m shake my head softly.

“I’m, I’m pregnant,” I whisper. “What am I going to do? I’m still in high school with college right around the corner.”

“There are other options,” she says in a hush tone.

I shake my head, “No. I can’t. This is my baby. Mine and Lucas’,” my eyes widen. “Lucas. What about him? What if he doesn’t want this baby? What if he leaves?” Maya laughs, “This isn’t finny!”

“Sorry I thought you were joking,” she looks at me, and I roll my eyes. “Oh, you’re serious. You don’t realize how much he loves you, do you? Huckleberry is nuts about you. Don’t even get me started on the way he stares at you like you’re this goddess sent from above.”

I giggle softly as tears form in my eyes, “I’m scared, Maya.” She drapes her arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer.

“It’ll be okay. But you do need to tell Lucas. Your parents too,” my eyes widen, “but I would start with Lucas.”

“Riley?” I hear my dad yell from the hallway, and I shove the pregnancy test behind my back just as he walks in.

“Yes, dad?”

He looks at me, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I blink back a few tears before they can fall.

“Mrs. Benson from down the hall is on the phone, she wants know if you can babysit Caroline this Saturday.”

I nod, “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Okay, well I’ll go ahead and tell her.” My dad leaves the room, and I reach to grab the stick.

My eyes stay glued to it, “I’m really pregnant.”

“You are,” Maya says, “But you aren’t alone. You’ll have me, Lucas, your parents. It’ll be okay.”I let it all soak in. This is real. I’m going to have a baby.

The rest of the week I do whatever I can to avoid everyone, but mostly Lucas. I’m scared to see him because I know I’ll let it spill, and despite what Maya said I don’t know how he is going to react. I’m scared that I’ll lose him, so for now I’ll pretend like nothing is going on.

Saturday comes, and I walk over to the Benson’s apartment. I’m actually excited to watch Caroline, she is just the cutest two-year-old. I lift my hand to knock on the door and a few second later a tall blonde brown eyed man opens the door.

“Riley, come in,” he steps back making room for me to walk inside.

“Hi, Mr. Benson,” I look around, “Where’s Caroline?”

“She’s right here,” I turn to see Mrs. Benson wearing a black knee length dress holding Caroline on her hip.

“Ri-ey!” Caroline shouts and Mrs. Benson sets her down and she runs to me.

I lift her up and spin, “Hi sweet Caroline.”

Mrs. Benson laughs walking over, “She loves you. We’ll be-“ she looks at the open door, and Mr. Benson and I follow her gaze.

“Luke!” Caroline wiggles out of my grasp, and runs towards Lucas and he picks her up.

“Hi Caroline,” he laughs and looks up, “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Benson.”

“I didn’t know you’d be helping Riley tonight,” Mr. Benson says.

“I just needed to tell her something, but I can leave,” he pulls Caroline off him and sets her on the ground.

Mr. Benson and Mrs. Benson laugh, “No it’s fine. Come in. Caroline seems to have taken a liking to you to,” Mrs. Benson says.

Mr. Benson picks Caroline up and gives her a kiss as does Mrs. Benson, “We love you. Be good for Riley and Lucas,” Mrs. Benson says and Mr. Benson sets her down.

“You two be good too,” Mr. Benson teases Lucas and me.

“Of course,” I say as Lucas laughs.

Mr. Benson walks out with Mrs. Benson right behind. “Oh,” she turns around, “she already ate, but might want a snack. We’ll be back around ten. If you need to get a hold of us, we have both of our phones. She might stay up a little later than normal, since someone here put her down for her nap late and let her sleep longer than usual,” she looks at Mr. Benson and he laughs.

After they leave, Caroline runs to her room and I try to follow her, but Lucas pulls me back.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” he asks.

I tilt my head slightly, “I haven’t. I’ve been busy with my senior portfolio, and studying for my physics final. You know how much I struggle with science.”

His eyes drop, “And that’s how I know your avoiding me. That’s the one subject I always help you in. Ar-are you going to break up with me?” he stutters.

My eyes widen, and I cup his face, “Lucas Friar, I am not breaking up with you!” I say forcefully. “You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me,” I drop my hands and wrap my arms around his neck, “I love you.”

He blushes slightly, he always does when I say those three little words, “Will you talk to me about what’s bothering you?”

I sigh, “I will just not right now. Right now, we are supposed to be babysitting.” I move to pull away, but he pulls me closer.

“I love you, too,” he presses his lips against mine, and I melt into his arms. We pull away slowly when we here a thump coming from Caroline’s room, Lucas sprints to her with me right behind him.

When I finally reach her room, I see Lucas on his knees with her little arms wrapped around him. I hear Caroline’s soft cries as Lucas sooths her.

“She hit her head on her table.”

I walk over and get down to their level, “Are you okay, Caroline?” I ask rubbing her back.

“Sweet Caroline,” she sniffles and I laugh lightly.

“Of course, are you okay sweet Caroline?” she nods. She slowly unlatches herself from Lucas.

“We play?” Lucas and I nod, and she smiles. She runs around her room grabbing her favorite stuffed animals; a giraffe, an elephant, and frog that is the biggest of the three.

She hands Lucas the elephant, me the giraffe, and she keeps the frog for herself. Lucas started helping me babysit her a few months ago, and she gives us the same animals each time. We sit around her tea table and I chuckle to myself every time I see Lucas sitting in the little chair.

He doesn’t know that I was listening to the talk Auggie gave him about not hurting me. I was leaning on the wall besides the door and I peaked in so I can get one look at Lucas.

We pretend we’re the animals having a tea party. I don’t know how we started doing this, but it’s the first thing we do whether it’s the three of us, or just me and Caroline. When she gets too excited, it’s hard to understand her; however, it’s extremely adorable. We play this for an hour when I hear my phone ring from the living room, and I excuse myself to go and answer it.

Hello?

Riles, have you told him?

Shh! He’s in the other room.

Maya laughs. We’re on the phone and in a different room from Huckleberry; he isn’t going to hear anything.

He thought I was going to break up with him. Can you believe that? I hear a sigh come from her.

I can. You’ve been going out of your way and ignoring him. You can’t pretend anymore, you need to tell him. He deserves to know.

“AAAAH! Ri-ey help!” Caroline laughs as she runs into the living room with Lucas chasing after her and I laugh.

Maya, I have to go. I chuckle.

Tell him.

I will. Bye peaches. I hang up the phone and place it down on the table.

I watch as Lucas chases her around the sofa pretending to be a monster, and her laughter fills the apartment. I can’t help but think of how great of a day he’s going to be. I always pictures Lucas and I having a future together and him being the father to my children; the children part is just going to happen a lot sooner than I had hoped for.

Caroline runs up to me, wraps her arms around my leg, and sticks her tongue out at Lucas, “You can’t get me. Ri-ey safe!”

Lucas laughs, “She is. Riley won’t let anything happen to you,” he looks at me and smiles.

I run my hand over her head, “Do you want a snack?” she nods. “Okay, c’mon.” She grabs my hand, and we walk to the kitchen.

I move to the refrigerator and grab an applesauce pouch. She loves these. Lucas picks her up and set her down on one of the stools, and I hand her the pouch. I cut up two apples for Lucas and I and grab the caramel dip. The two of them talk amongst each other, and I’m so in awe by the two of them that I can’t focus on what is being said.

“Are you okay?” Lucas laughs as he asks me.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I smile. I look at the time that displays on the oven, “Caroline,” I look at her just as she yawns, “I think it’s time for bed,” she nods tiredly, and I turn to Lucas, “Do you mind putting her down, she’s already in her pajamas, I just need to clean up here?”

He shakes his head, “Not at all.” He stands up and grabs her, “Say goodnight to Riley.”

“Night Ri-ey,” she waves at me with a smile on her face over Lucas shoulders. I wash the few dishes that I dirtied and wipe down the counters so it isn’t sticky.

After fifteen minutes, I’m moving down the hall to her room. I can hear Lucas’ voice and butterflies awake in my stomach. His reading brown bear, brown bear, what do you see? Her favorite. It’s a short book, but reading it with her makes it longer. Every animal she has to tell whoever is readying it to her how the animal is her favorite and why.

When I get to her door, I stand in doorway and watch them. Caroline is trying her best to stay away, but I don’t think she’ll make it to the end of the book.

“Back sheep, black sheep, what do you see?” Lucas reads, and just like I predicted Caroline has fallen asleep. He laughs and slowly gets lifts himself off her bed making sure not to wake him. He sets the book down on the dresser. “Goodnight Caroline, have sweet dreams just like you,” he whispers stroking her hair and my heart warms with happiness.

It’s not just the two of us sitting on the couch. I don’t know why I’m so nervous right now, but I am. My heart is beating a mile per minute. He clears his throat, and I look at him, “You’ve been in Rileytown all evening,” he says with a slight smirk.

“How?”

“You’ve been staring at me and Caroline. Are you thinking of the future we’re going to have someday?” A blush washes over me, and he laughs. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, I think about it all the time,” he grabs my hand interlocking our fingers.

“How did I get so lucky?” I say staring into his eyes.

He laughs, “I think I’m the lucky one, but we can agree to disagree,” we both laugh.

“Lucas, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” curiosity fills his voice.

I take a deep breath and exhale. I open my mouth, but the front door opens. Mr. and Mrs. Benson are home early from their night out. I tell them about Caroline’s little accident, but Lucas assures the two that she is okay. We talk for a few minutes and they thank us for watching Caroline, before Lucas and I leave.

Once we are out in the hallway, I look at Lucas, “Do you want to go to the roof and talk?”

“I’ll never say no to talking to you,” he smiles coyly at me, and my heart flutters.

Once we’re up there, he moves to sit on the bench but I walk over to the edge and look out into the city. I need to tell him, but I’m scared of what’s going to happen between us.

“Riles,” I feel his arms wrap around me from behind, and I lean into his body, “What’s on your mind?”

“Lucas, I’m,” I turn around to face him. I open my mouth to finish, but the word doesn’t come out. I try three times, but nothing comes out. My face drops, but he lifts my head up and gazes into my eyes.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m not going anywhere. No matter what.”

I take a deep breath, “I’m pregnant,” I whisper as my eyes move to the ground. His breath hitches, and I wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t. “I don’t know how this happened, I thought we were safe. I understand if you don’t-“

“Stop right there,” he cuts me off. “I’m not going anywhere. Yeah, I’m shocked right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to run away from this,” his grip around me tightens, “I love you, and I’m going to be there.” Tears starts to form in my eyes. “Is that why you were watching me with Caroline?”

I nod, “You’re going to make an amazing dad,” he smiles. I take a deep breath, “Lucas, I’m scared.”

“So am I. The timing isn’t ideal, but it’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. There are a lot of things that we are going to have to figure out, but we will.” I bury my face into the crock of his neck. Silence surrounds us and for the time being everything feel like it’s going to be okay.

I pull away slowly, “I just don’t know how this happened.”

He smirks, “I have an idea,” he pauses and I search my mind. He waits for it to click for me, but it doesn’t. “Remember last month, when I borrowed my dad’s truck? You wanted to go star gazing, so we drove out of the city for night and laid in the back-“

Everything clicks, “And things got carried away,” I cut him off, and he smirks with a wink.

We stay on the roof a little bit longer talking about everything. We move over to the bench. He wraps his arm around me, and I lean into him. We’re trying to figure out what we are going to do about college, how we’re going to raise the baby. Then it comes the topic I’ve been dreading most; how are we going to tell our parents.

“When do you want to tell them?” he asks hesitantly.

I take a deep breath, “Tomorrow. Keeping this a secret for a week was hard enough. I don’t think I can do it much longer.” I look up at him, “Who are you most scared to tell?”

“Your dad. I’m going to lose a lot more than a shoe,” we both laugh, but that quickly fades. I know he’s scared, I’m scared. We’re both young.

“Lucas, are we being unrealistic about this? I mean this is a baby. It’s going to be hard. Our parents are going to disappointed in us, college is going to be difficult. Life was hard, but this is just going to make it even more difficult.”

Lucas takes a deep breath, “Maybe we are, but we’ll get through everything. This child is going to test a lot of things for us, like our relationship. But we just have to stick together.”

“I love you, Lucas.”

“And I love you,” he kisses the top of my head, “Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”