benny is not the problem. sam's feelings are the problem and they need to be worked on

The Raid/One More Time, With Feeling

So, it’s official: Supernatural continues to be outstanding. I liked this episode a lot, and I like how they keep doing this - acknowledging there is a past in this show while developing new storylines and confirming stuff we’ve been saying for years. Because subtext - turns out it matters. Who knew.

Since I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about this, first things first: the BMoL’s (and Mary’s, and Sam’s) plan to eradicate and destroy all monsters - jolly good, but what does it mean for Cas? For Crowley? For Garth? Apparently they’re not working on a nuclear explosion spell or anything, and instead they’re going after specific groups of monsters one by one. And the thing is, they’ve got no reason to stop and ascertain who are the good guys and who are the bad guys, right? If they find Garth, Garth is dead.

(Is Sam okay with this? Mr Head Choice?)

And what about demons? I doubt you can kill every demon in existence, so the solution, surely, is shutting the Gates of Hell? And we know how Crowley feels about that, at least. As for the angels, again - seems unpractical and unfeasible to eliminate them, not to mention the cosmic consequences there would likely be if it could be done, so, again, is the idea to confine them all in Heaven? Mh.

As for the rest of it, here we go. 

Family Matters

Jesus Christ, what a mess. I know we talk a lot about how these characters have evolved so much they are almost verbatim the opposite of who they were twelve years ago (and how this was done so skillfully we barely even noticed), but with Mary back in the equation, you really see it. The alliances have now shifted. Where once we had John (emotional and barely hanging on and yet terrifyingly in control) clashing with his younger son who wanted a way out and a better life, and Dean was in the middle, trying to keep both of them happy, now we’ve got Mary pursuing a colder, more rational obsession, Dean who’s so done with all of it, and Sam acting as a mediator. Uh.

Now, it’s true we don’t know exactly what happened when Sam and Dean were teens (#season12wishlist). It’s likely Dean took John’s side out of some demented desire to be recognized and loved, and also so that Sam wouldn’t get hurt, but he believed enough in hunting that his brother getting out - that was a major falling out between them. 

But, well - the situation is hardly the same now. Sam isn’t a brainwashed, terrified teenager. He’s an adult, and, okay, there are rational reasons for the choices he’s making. At the same time, though, what’s going on is too close to whatever madness went down in their childhood for me to look with any sympathy upon any of it. Because at this point, Mary honestly scares me, and so does Sam. Him huddling with Mick at the end, saying those things about Dean - that was legit creepy, and more on this later.  

Dean 2.0

Just as an aside, I was very happy to see Mr Ketch doubling back to seduce Dean, because I’ve been saying this would happen for weeks and weeks. And if you write it down, just like that, what went down between them sounds very ambiguous: Ketch showed up with a bottle of scotch, they had a drink together, and then went to a hotel - a fancy place with a pool and a spa. 

The whole thing was coded like a courtship, because that’s exactly what it was (to the point they had to establish Ketch’s sexuality as a preventive #no homo); what made it uncomfortable is the fact Ketch didn’t really want to be there, and Dean - again, the woman in this scenario, as he so often is - was not the right fit for him. 

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Just Friends - AU Series - Part 1

Dean x Reader, Sam, mentions of Benny and Jessica.

Summary: This is the story of how the reader meets Dean, the story of how a stranger becomes her enemy, then her dearest friend. Just friends, that’s what they both claim to be. Everyone knows that’s not true. Everyone, but them.

Tags:  @kbrand0 @mrswhozeewhatsis @why-do-you-want-my-user-name @getyourrocksalt @daydreamingintheimpala  @driverpicksthemuusic @spnwriting1 @mysoul4dean @aprofoundbondwithdean @sidra-cara

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Feeding Your Love

From this request: Benny x Reader where he ends up feeding on her and the boys get really mad?

*Benny-centric

______________________________________________________________

You knew getting into a relationship with a vampire was dangerous.

But you also knew that Benny would never do anything to hurt you.

You’d met him through Dean, of course. You’d never imagined that you’d fall for such a gruff guy (or for a creature of the supernatural). But Benny was more than just a vampire. He was a sweet, charming guy with a soft side as big as Russia.

The two of you snuck around behind the Winchesters’ backs for a while, meeting in secret. But eventually, Dean sniffed out your relationship like a bloodhound.

It turned him rabid.

“Y/N, what the hell do you think you’re doing, getting involved with a vampire?”

“You had no problem being friends with him!”

“You think I didn’t consider the pros and cons of the situation?”

“But you must have decided the pros outweighed the cons, just as I have.”

“Y/N, he’s a vampire. You have no idea what creatures like him are capable of.” Dean paused. “Besides, I’ve seen firsthand what happens when a human gets involved with a creature. It doesn’t end well.”

“Just because Sam’s had some rotten luck in the dating game doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself.”

Dean eventually relented, knowing that you were going to do whatever you wanted. He was still uneasy with the idea that you and Benny were romantically linked, but he knew there was nothing he could do about it.

______________________________________________________________

You noticed Benny acting oddly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he replied, giving you a tiny smile. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and turned his attention back to the television.

A few minutes later, you looked over at him. You noticed that his eyes were trained on the back of your hand, tracing over the veins.

“Benny.”

His eyes jumped up, finding yours. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“For what?”

“I…” He shook his head. “I don’t want to scare you.”

“You won’t.”

Benny studied you for a moment. “I feel the need to feed. And you… your blood… it smells so sweet.”

You sat, frozen. This… well, you supposed a part of you had always known that something like this would happen. He was, after all, a vampire. A bloodsucker.

You considered it a good thing that he’d told you his thoughts, his desires, before simply attacking you.

Benny stood at that moment, quickly walking off.

“Benny!” you called after him, jumping up from the couch. “Benny, stop!”

Surprisingly, he listened. He stood, his back to you.

You walked around to his front, looking up at him. “Benny. Do you…”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. You wouldn’t.” You paused. “You… can control yourself, right?”

“Sometimes.”

You reached down and took his hand in yours. “Benny. I trust you.”

He studied you, seeing the trust you had in him.

Slowly, you led him down the hall toward your bedroom. You sat on the bed, looking up at him. “What do you want?”

“Arm,” he said after a moment. “It’s easiest. And you can hide it easily.”

You nodded at him, holding your arm out.

Carefully, Benny leaned you back on the bed, straightening your arm against the mattress. He looked once more at you. “Are you sure?”

“I trust you.”

His lips were warm against your flesh. The piercing of his fangs hurt a little more than an IV. You concentrated on your breathing, trying to keep calm. This felt more intimate than sex. The two of you were connecting on a whole new level.

After a few minutes, Benny sat up. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve, staring at you. You tried to sit up, but he gently pushed your shoulder back.

“Lay still,” he said. “You may be light-headed.”

You watched as he stepped into your bathroom. When he came out, he had a damp cloth and a bandage in his hand. You watched as he cleaned you up and covered the two small holes in your arm. Then he curled up against you, pulling you into his chest.

“I love you,” he whispered. “Thank you… for trusting me.”

“I will always trust you.”

______________________________________________________________

And so it became a regular thing for the two of you. Every eight weeks Benny would feed on you—it was just like if you were donating blood. Each time, Benny would clean you up and cuddle with you, taking care of you.

It was a system that worked for you. And each time, you felt so much closer to Benny.

Unfortunately, Dean’s bloodhound instinct kicked in again.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said one morning after a feeding session. “What’s up?”

“Not a lot.”

“Oh, really?” Dean reached forward and curled his fingers around your arm, poking against the still sore puncture wounds. He noticed you wince and pulled your sleeve up, revealing the bandage. “Care to explain this?”

“It’s nothing, Dean.”

“Really? So it’s not a puncture wound from your vampire boyfriend?”

“Dean,”

Before you could stop him, he tore the bandage from your arm. The force of it caused a small spot of blood to well up from the wounds.

You yanked your arm away from Dean’s grip, placing your free hand over the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. “Dammit, Dean, this is no concern of yours!”

“What are you two yelling about?” Sam asked, stepping into the kitchen.

“Y/N’s letting Benny feed on her.”

“What?” Sam turned to you. “Y/N, how could you?”

You felt a fire bubbling up inside of you. “You have no right to criticize me on this, Sam. You of all people–”

“Y/N, what I did was wrong. I realize that. I… I had a problem. And it could have ended really badly for me. But what you’re doing–”

“Is none of your damn business.” You stared at the brothers, fuming. “I know what I’m doing and Benny would never hurt me.”

“Y/N, he’s a vampire,” Dean said. “He’s a bloodthirsty creature. If you’ve given him a taste, he’ll never settle for anything else. You may think he has control now, but one day… his instincts will kick in and he won’t be able to hold back.”

“Should that day ever come, I’ll handle it,” you spat. “Until then, stay the hell out of my relationship.”

The Signs of a Breakup

Yes, this is as cliché as you think it is. Enjoy!

Dean may not be the brightest, but he’s no idiot.

He knows the signs.

How often has he been through this? Whoever he’s dating at the moment suddenly having little to no time to spend with him. Cancelling dates at the last minute, unable to accompany him to family functions, returning home only to sleep.

Cas just happened to stay interested longer than anyone else, that’s all.

Hey, this time around he actually got to move in with someone and pass the one-year-mark in their shared home, so that’s something.

It just feels worse because they’ve been together for over three years - more than he’s ever been with anyone else. Of course it feels worse.

He pretends that’s the reason because pathetically declaring that Cas is the love of his life and staring out the rainy windows with emo music in the background is not an adult way of handling a breakup.

Apart from the fact that it’s a bright sunny day outside.

Cas is too good for him anyway, has always been too good for him.

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On the Line (Part 2)

It was a silly dare, a fun game at your best friend’s bachelorette party. It was late, and you were all drunk and tired. None of you were thinking straight when you started playing truth or dare, and that’s how you ended up calling a local phone sex hotline. It was stupid and silly.

But what happens when you hear that voice one night, out in public? What happens when you meet the man you’ve been talking to? When you meet Sam?

Part 1

Summary of Part 2: You have called Sam an embarrassing number of times now, and things are verging on awkward. Then you hear his voice in public.

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 2250ish

You hadn’t meant to make a habit of calling Sam. It was a fun, stupid thing that had happened once, and that should have been the end of it. Calling the same phone sex operator four times in two weeks, when you could have been out in the real world, seemed a little desperate, right?

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For the prompts:

“How about Sam, dean or Cas leave you at the altar and then I dunno. Three years later and you see them again on a case”

from ilovefandomsperiod

and “Holy crap did you just stab a demon?” 

from ilovefandomsperiod


So, I tried to do this as Dean X Reader, but that’s not really my thing and I ended up doing Dean X Castiel instead. I hope that’s okay.

Also, I changed “demon” to “vampire”


Carrington, just a little town in the heart of the midwest. Quiet, simple. It’s exactly what Castiel needed three years ago when… well, when everything went to shit. He’d needed to get away, fast. And he’d ended up here.

So far, it’s been exactly what he needed. Nothing ever happens in Carrington, and that’s perfect. Castiel has himself a simple little job as a waiter in a quaint little diner off the main stretch. It’s run by a quiet, straight-forward man named Benny, who lets Castiel get on with his job and doesn’t ask questions about his past. It’s a perfect situation.

It’s perfect. Until it isn’t. Until Castiel walks out of the kitchen with table four’s order balanced on his arm and he sees the two men  at the booth in the corner.
If he was thinking clearly, he’d back slowly back into the corner and hide until they’re gone, make Meg take his tables for a while. But, of course, he’s not thinking clearly. He sees that blond hair, that strong jaw, and he panics. Dean. And Sam, of course, sitting across from him.

Castiel’s heart gives a jolt of surprising pain, his arm jerks, he drops all his plates. They fall to the floor with a crash, and just like that, Sam and Dean’s heads are swiveling toward the noise. Dean and Castiel lock eyes, and Castiel sees surprise, but then he’s turning and darting back into the kitchen before he can see anything else. He runs past Garth, the cook, and into the storeroom. He sits down behind the shelf of canned goods and puts his arm around his knees, trying to get control of the emotions flooding through him.

This can’t be happening. It can’t be happening. After all this time, after all the heartbreak and the depression and the running away, he’d thought he’d finally gotten over it. Gotten over him. Now, just when things seem to be okay, now he shows up. Fucking Dean. That asshole.

Castiel leans his forehead on his knees and tries to keep himself from crying. The worst part, the worst part, is that for a split second he’d felt hopeful. He’d seen Dean and for a moment he’d been happy. Like maybe Dean was here for him, maybe Dean wanted him again, maybe he’d come back. Those stupid, treacherous thoughts had blinked though his head before he could help it. Before he remembered.

He sits there in the dark for a few minutes before he hears footsteps. The door creaks open, the light flicks on.

“Castiel?” Comes Benny’s voice, “Everything okay, brother?”

He walks around the shelf and peers around the edge at Castiel, hunched over on the floor.

“I’m sick.” Castiel chokes through tears.

“You need to go home or you want me to take you to the hospital?” Benny says, voice colored with worry.

Castiel shakes his head. “I can’t- I can’t go out there.” He whispers.

Benny purses his lips. “You aren’t sick are you?”

Castiel holds out for one last second before he finally starts to sob. He puts his head in his hands, feeling weak and humiliated.

“Ah, okay.” Benny clears his throat. “I’ll have Meg cover your tables. You just, uh, hang out in here. Until you feel better.” And, with that, he leaves.


Cas stays there on the floor for a good hour, until he’s calmed down and he feels like he probably doesn’t look like he’s been crying. He walks weakly out of the storage room, avoiding the gazes of Benny and Garth. When he pokes his head out of the kitchen, he sees that Sam and Dean are gone.

Good, he thinks. But at the same time he feels a deep sense of loss. He’s used to that though, and he presses the feeling down and heads toward the restroom. Halfway there, though, Meg catches up to him. She grabs him by the wrist and tugs him toward her.

“Hey,” She says. “The fuck happened?”

“I’m sorry, I- I’ll take some of your tables-”

Meg waves his stuttered apology aside. “I needed the tips anyway. But you… you’re steel, man. You’ve never missed a day, never called in sick, never complain. You’ve got like one emotion: polite. And now I hear you’re droppin’ your tables to go cry in the back room? What gives?”

Castiel sighs. “It’s…”

“If you say it’s “not my concern” i’m gonna kick your ass.”

Castiel frowns at her. “I was going to say that it’s a long story.”

“Oh. Well…” She shrugs. “Go ahead.”

Castiel looks around, at the tables of people, Benny at the counter. “I don’t really think now is the time, Meg.”

Meg rolls her eyes. “Fine. I’ll buy you a drink after work and we can talk about it. Deal?”

Castiel does not want to talk about it. Ever. But… he does need a drink pretty badly.

“Okay.” He says finally.

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anonymous asked:

I saw one of your tags say that you're not sure Sam would be ok with Destiel and I'm curious why. Do you think it'd be like the Benny situation again or something else? I didn't ship Denny but I don't think Sam likes when someone else comes before him in Dean's eyes. (I can't see Sam not liking Desitle as a homophobic thing, but ya never know.) Anyway I'm genuinely curious because I could see Sam not exactly like a shipper but ultimately ok with it.

Hi! I have to say, I’m always torn when I hear about people reading my tags, because on the one hand I’m vain and prideful and they’re written to be read, but on the other, tagging is like talking to yourself, so - *blushes slightly*.

Anyway, first things first - before I discovered what a fandom was, I was a total sucker for shipper!Sam. My doubts didn’t begin until after I’d read a shitload of fanfiction about it, and something really rotten in my brain was like, What if Sam wasn’t okay with it, though? because I always like to be contrary and to turn things on their heads and see how they work and if they still work. So I’ve got no real problems with shipper!Sam. It’s just - I sometimes wonder - generally when I’m writing myself - what would be more interesting from a narrative point of view - if it’d be better to have Sam in the background, hanging up mistletoe and leaving The letter of the day is B leaflets around the Bunker or if it’d be easier for Dean to have something to push against. I think a case could be made either way - but if TPTB would have wanted to go down that first road, they probably wouldn’t have killed off Charlie, since she would have been (and she probably was) an even better shipper and wingman than Sam.

That said, I have two arguments against shipper!Sam.

One: Sam is way more messed up than he lets on, and some part of it is terrified not only that Dean will walk away, but that Dean will fall in love with someone and actually pursue that. I know I’ve seen this discussion go down somewhere, but I honestly don’t remember who first came up with this - apologies, guys - the fact that Sam is an all or nothing kind of guy. Like, when he went to Stanford, that was it - he never contacted John, or even Dean, again. For years. And the same happened when he was with Amelia - he just - I don’t know, cut himself off? I’m not sure if it’s his personality, or a by-product of his less than ideal childhood, but Sam’s got trouble to let people into his life, and once they’re in, it’s like there isn’t room for anyone else? Which is a childish trait, of course, and it signals a lack of emotional maturity on his part (not surprising - poor Sammy). And since Sam tends to relate with other people through his own experiences, part of him surely assumes Dean’s exactly the same; that if Dean found himself a new best friend, or a better hunting partner, or even a spouse of some kind, he’d just walk away and that would be it. So in this sense, Sam would feel threatened by any relationship Dean could potentially develop, not only by Cas.

Two, we used to see Sam as the shades of grey brother, but the amazing thing about this show is that Sam and Dean went through a lot of character development resulting in them almost swapping the roles they had in the first seasons - and yet all this feels natural and completely believable. So these days, Dean’s more likely to be the one who gives monsters a pass (hell, look at his relationship with Crowley), while Sam’s become sort of judgemental and what needs must. I think it was Ruby, most of all, who scarred Sam from the inside out and made him so much more conservative, or pragmatic (like, look at him now - he’s more willing than Dean to work with the BMoL, because he’s Mr Head Choice or something). Sam took a huge risk in liking and trusting Ruby, and it all hinged on a sort of anti-racism argument - an I don’t care if she’s a demon, because even demons can be nice and Our biology doesn’t determine our destiny and whatever else. Dean had shut him down about this, of course, but Sam had persisted - and I know there were other elements at play here, but to me, the central point was exactly this: a pigheaded and generous and noble willingness to trust a creature you don’t understand at all and you’ve got no reason to trust. Now, of course things are different with Cas, because Cas has proven, time and again, that Dean’s safety would be his number one priority and all that, but I’m still not convinced Sam would actively want that for Dean. After all, Sam’s seen this other, softer side of Dean’s - he’s seen him around kids (he remembers him from their shared childhood) and he’s heard (a bit) about how happy he was with Robin and whatever, so I sometimes feel Sam still wants the Sookie ending for Dean: a chance to have a true family of his own, and a life Dean could finally lead in full view of everybody, without shame or weirdness or sigils carved on the walls. And I’m not sure this is something Cas would be able to give Dean.

Finally, there’s the whole bisexuality deal. Here, I have to say - I don’t know what to think. I’m sure Sam’s got no problem with queer people, but it’s always slightly different when it’s your family, right? And there are days I think Sam must know - Jesus, they’ve been sharing a room for thirty years - and days when I think that no, that parent/child thing they’ve got going is way too strong for Sam to see the whole picture (to even think about it). 

(Like, I know it was supposed to be funny and that I’m reading too much into it, but Sam recoiling when Rowena suggested he undress Dean and check his chest hair or something - to me, that was emblematic of how their relationship works. Dean’s changed Sam’s diapers, has helped him to get dressed for years, surely bathed him and watched him play with that one plastic submarine they’d scavenged somewhere and, years later, he stitched him up and massaged weird herbal salves over his bruises and whatever - but to Sam, of course, it’s weird to think about his brother’s body at all, because that’s the relationship we have with our parents: when you actually have to take care of them that way, it means things have got very bad and very scary.)

In any case, at the very least Sam would be worried about Dean’s safety (and there’s always that heartbreaking thing, right, that if you’re bi and you can be happy with a woman - man, it’d be so much easier) - but one big reason to be optimistic in this sense was this new development we’ve seeing - that openly gay hunters can actually exist in the community without being bothered. 

(Then again, judging from the news coming about the US, I sometimes feel Dean and Cas could have their college AU life only in a big city, and not in one of those wild, road off to the horizon states where Dean feels most at home. So, well - I really don’t know.)

Anyway - we know so little about Sam, it’s likely that anything could work concerning his approach to the Destiel situation. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

anonymous asked:

Houses for characters from Supernatural?

Sam: Gryffindor/Slytherin
Sam has many very brave moments, but also many self focused moments. Us Slytherins are self-fulfilling. We are looking out for ourselves. Sam spends a lot of time looking out for himself, especially since Dean is away. he lies to protect his own interests. In the very first episode, he doesn’t even want to look for John. He wants to get into the best law program so he can succeed in life. That is very ambitious. Once he does start hunting again, he is always determined to solve the problem. However, there are times when he is very brave. He lets Lucifer inside him to try to save the world. In so doing, he also jumps into the cage to stop Lucifer from taking over the world. Both of those things are very brave and self-less. Because of the reasons listed above, Sam is the hardest person for me to sort and I’m still not really sure. You could also make a case for him being in Ravenclaw, because of the research and the men of letters, but I don’t believe those are his defining traits.

Dean: Slytherin
This may be an unpopular opinion, but Dean is very self focused, to a point that it is almost selfish. He is always looking out for his own best interests. He brings Sam back to life multiple times, but he says himself that it was because HE couldn’t stand to live without Sam. He lets a angel inside Sam without Sam’s permission because HE needs Sam to survive. He also tricks Sam into letting the angel in with a very clever plan. He also believes he can save the world. He stops the apocalypse multiple times and will keep doing it until his last breath. This shows major determination. He is a “shoot first, ask questions later” type of guy that focuses on action, and not research. He is ambitious to the extent that he believes he will be able keep saving people until he can’t save himself.

Bobby: Ravenclaw
Bobby is the guy with the answers. He uses his brain to come up with solutions and has a lot of knowledge about a variety of things. When the boys are in a pinch, Bobby is the first person they call for answers.

Cas: Gryffindor
Cas has always been a solider, but when he feels like something is wrong, he takes a stand. He stands up against his entire family and everything he has grown up knowing as truth. This is an incredibly brave thing to do.

Garth: Hufflepuff
Chuck: Hufflepuff
Who couldn’t love Chuck and Garth? They both have big hearts and are loyal too their friends. They aren’t afraid to fight for what’s right.

Charlie: Ravenclaw
Kevin: Ravenclaw
Obviously both of these characters are extremely smart. Charlie uses her brain to help take down Dick and the wicked witch. Kevin isn’t very strong, but his knowledge is crucial to come up with solutions to a lot of the problems the boys face.

Crowley: Slytherin
Lucifer: Slytherin
Gabriel: Slytherin
Balthazar: Slytherin
Ruby: Slytherin
Meg: Slytherin
Abaddon: Slytherin
Dick: Slytherin
Death: Slytherin
John: Slytherin
The main thing that all of these characters have in common is that they are always looking out for themselves first. Death especially is self focused. He doesn’t really care what is going on with the world, as long as it doesn’t disturb him. These characters are also all very ambitious. Dick and Abaddon, especially, want to rule their respective areas. Dick is doing it for the betterment of his kind and Abaddon is doing it because she doesn’t agree with the current ruling. Gabriel and Bathazar are Slytherins because they both have a high sense of pride and self importance. Gabriel also just likes to cause trouble in a clever way, which I think is a very Slytherin thing to do. Both angels, and everyone in this sub-list, like to be in control. Each character is also extremely determined to get what they want and some even use any means necessary. They are all cunning, smart, and resourceful.

Metatron: Ravenclaw
Ah. The most hated character in the series, but extremely smart. he uses his knowledge of the word of God to trick Cas. His plan was all thought out and worked just how he planned it.He knew he couldn’t gain heaven with physical strength or fighting skill, so he used his brain.

Benny: Gryffindor
Benny is very brave for many reasons. First he helps Dean out of purgatory even though he knows that is the most dangerous place to be. He also goes back to purgatory to help Sam escape. The most brave thing he does it to stop killing humans. This will make him stick out, but he does it anyway.

-Natalie (Slytherin)

anonymous asked:

Drowley baffled me because I couldn't understand Dean's continued softness toward Crowley after the s8 slaughter. I could totally see how Crowley could be attracted to Dean, but I thought Dean would lash out and give cold shoulders (like he did to Cas in 8x22) after the Demon!Dean period, but Dean was surprisingly chill about Crowley? Was it because he never trusted Crowley and couldn't feel personally betrayed by anything Crowley does? I'm still not sure about their dynamics.

Mh, that’s actually a very interesting question.

Let me get a second into the whole ‘I could totally see how Crowley could be attracted to Dean’ - because, really? Can you? Let’s play Devil’s advocate for a second here, because, sure, to us Dean’s this little bundle of cute and dork and occasionally killer of bad things, but in reality, Dean’s a huge mess. First of all, he’s a grown man who’s never been in a proper relationship before, and that usually spells Very High Maintenance, all capitals. Next, he’s got a relatively short lifespan and something that’s practically an addiction to a job that could not only kill him, but also drag you and your family to hell for good measure. It’s also a job that drags him away from home quite often (although, admittedly, that’s not a huge problem to someone who can teleport). Then, you’ve got the family issues - as Dean’s partner, you’ll have to accept the fact Dean is always going to put Sam first, and that could quickly become a problem for anyone trying to form a romantic attachment, or even start a family, with Dean - not to mention the still partly unresolved daddy issues and mommy issues. And finally (not to say this is the last point, but let’s be nice to the guy) you’ve got the inner mess - the self-loathing, the guilt, the addictive personality (alcohol, most definitely, and quite possibly drugs), the anger problems…the list goes on and on. Yes, Dean’s worked through some of this stuff since season 1, but he’s also suffered from huge setbacks - most notably because he was tortured and forced to torture in Hell, and let’s not mention what happened to him under the influence of the Mark. So it’s not like he’s this huge catch.

Okay, you’re still reading? Good. Sorry for this - remember that I love Dean, I’m just fooling around, and I’m almost done. Last point, then: Crowley could have anyone. And by that I don’t only mean any person - from famous actors to beautiful top models to amazing writers and artists and whatever - he also has access to creatures like Naomi and Billie and God knows what else. And Dean’s interesting, sure, but he’s human, which is why this whole story - him and Cas, him and Crowley - is so damn fascinating: because these all-powerful creatures could pick anyone, and they want a messy human. They want us, they think we’re worth a damn. That’s the stuff of dreams, right there, and the reason even a truly awful book like Twilight was such a huge success.

That said, back to your actual question - why would Dean like, or even forgive, Crowley? 

To be honest, I think what Dean craves most of all is a sense of belonging; someone who’s been where he’s been, because he’s not all that good with words and feelings and he can’t explain that black mess and goo in his head and he needs someone to get it anyway - which means his best bet is someone who’s just as messed up as he is, and if at all possible, for the same reasons.

I feel this is part of why his relationship with Sam unraveled in the first place (before they patiently pieced it back together, I mean): because Sam has a hard time acknowledging a common history between them, and in a way, he’s right. For instance, Sammy didn’t know about the monsters as a kid, and when he did learn about them, he apparently had little trouble (at first) adjusting to this new lifestyle. His experience of coming to terms with the whole thing was much different than Dean’s - Dean who almost watched his mother die and thought God knows what every time their dad left them alone to go hunting. Then again, Dean was trained for this kind of life in a way Sam wasn’t, and as a result Sam felt much more of a freak than Dean. We also learned he sees his childhood as a lonely one, and it was heartbreaking to see how Dean reacted to that. And not only that - Sam actively chose to make his own life, divorcing their shared experiences even more. Sam’s the kid who went to college and had proper friends and a normal girlfriend and almost made it out. Meanwhile, Dean had more hunting with his abusive father, and also the terrifying situation of hunting alone - not to mention the rest of it - the lack of friends and girlfriends and anything resembling a normal life. 

(I’m not saying Sam’s at fault for getting out, mind - he had a right to do whatever he wanted.)

I think this mass of uncommon and scarring experiences - add to that his time in Hell, of course - is what pushes Dean towards people who’ve gone through the same things, like Benny - and Crowley. And also, Dean’s got no self-esteem, so he probably thinks he’s not much better than either of them. After all, we know he likes killing things (and he’s afraid of this part of himself), and it’s likely he was made to enjoy his time in Hell as well - and that’s what unforgivable, for him, and also what Sam can’t begin to understand. 

Now, Crowley - Crowley doesn’t judge Dean. Never has. He understands darkness, feels at home inside it, has seen and done literally everything, probably knows more about Dean than was strictly healthy for him to learn (I’m sure he knows everything about John, for instance, and also what Alastair did to Dean) and he takes it all. Dean’s tortured souls? So what? Dean wants to drink himself into oblivion or disappear in the bathroom with a hunky bartender? Bring it on. I think Dean feels - kind of free around Crowley, to be honest. And I’m not saying this is a good thing - the reason Sam and Cas nag Dean about his drinking, to mention just one thing, is that it’s legit bad for him - but I understand the appeal a Crowley-like could have (and does have).

And also: in a world of monsters and people pretending to be what they are not, Crowley is sort of honest.

Which is a paradox, but there you go. Dean knows Crowley’s a demon, so he’s not surprised when Crowley kills people. On some level, he probably remembers what that was like. On the other hand, he is suprised when Crowley goes out of his way to do something good for them - that’s weird behaviour, and the beginning of loyalty.

So, well. I’m sure Dean hasn’t exactly forgiven Crowley for all the shit he’s done, but a) he understands that’s what Crowley is (would you put down a cat because he kills mice?) and b) he likes to have someone around who doesn’t expect anything from him and c) he pities Crowley, I think, because he can see that the guy’s not a happy-go-lucky demon but someone who’s almost as conflicted and unhappy as Dean himself is.

(And now I’m thinking about another similar, fucked-up relationship - Frodo and Gollum. You see? Same boxes. They both knew what the ring was like, so they formed a kind of kinship even if they remained ready to betray each other or hurt each other at a moment’s notice.

And Sam, of course, like our Sam, never understood any of it.)

Finally, Crowley’s sort of Dean’s type - dark-haired, smart, bamf, a little (or a lot) unpredictable. Someone who can hold him down in bed and doesn’t need saving in a fight. And that voice.

As a last point, I feel I have to say this - I’m kind of with Dean on this one - how can we judge Crowley? Have you met Team Free Will? Honestly, the shit they’ve done - not to mention the dark entities they keep summoning up just to save each other’s lives - uh. No, I think all of these characters are really messed up, and I love it - the way this shows blurs the lines between good and evil is one of the main reasons I keep watching. 

Thanks for putting Crowley inside my head and have a good day, man!