Do you know any healthy ways to deal with depression and anxiety? I've been having a really tough time lately, and I thought "Maybe auntie Jillie can help."
Oh pumpkin, I’m sorry to hear you’re having a tough time of it lately! You’re not alone – I think all of us who struggle with depression and anxiety have been having a rougher-than-usual time. At least, that’s what I’ve been hearing from other folks, and I know my own Brain Raccoons have been ridiculously noisy lately.
My #1 suggestion of a healthy way to deal with them: GET PROFESSIONAL HELP, if your circumstances are such that you’re able to. For a lot of us (myself included), it doesn’t matter how mindful you are, how much self-care you do, how careful you are about sleep and eating properly and exercise: the brain chemicals are wacky, and things need to be done to balance them.
(One of the things my therapist always says to me is “I know you already know what I’m telling you. My job is to help you figure out new ways to use that information to give yourself better patterns.”)
But! Short-term things you can do to make yourself feel better right now!
Put on some favorite music (loud and bouncy is preferable) and dance around for a few songs. Make yourself move. Get some adrenaline and endorphins flowing.
Do you have a favorite plush or fuzzy companion? Talk to them. Yes, I’m serious. When I am having a particularly bad day, Clovis Devilbunny sits on my desk, and I tell him about what I’m doing. Sometimes you need the unconditional love and acceptance of a fuzzy companion, and you need to communicate with them.
Go take a shower, and brush your teeth. Visualize scrubbing away the layer of depression. It will help, even if just a little bit.
If you are a makeup-wearing type, take a bit of time and play with makeup. Make yourself up to look like an incarnation of David Bowie. Paint yourself like a silent film star. Do something different than your usual look, and really focus on the different colors and textures of the makeup. Derail your particular Brain Raccoons from chittering at you, even if just for a little bit.
Eat something. Even if you don’t want to. It doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be fancy, and it’s absolutely fine if it’s junk food. Just eat something?
Also, drink some water. Yes, I’m serious. No, being properly hydrated will not cure depression or anxiety, but it will make you feel a bit better, physically.
Request: Could you write a fluffy fic with Taehyung from BTS where you meet him and it has something to do with making a wish on a dandelion? (Thank you so much for writing such great stories, you’re one of my favorite writers on Tumblr!)
Member: BTS V x Y/N
Type: fluff af
Adulthood is synonymous with complacency. The mundane, the routine of daily adult life hangs over a person like a soggy coat, familiar yet uncomfortable. Mindless zombies, shutting ourselves off as soon as our feet hit the floor in the morning until the moment they find solace in bed at the end of a long day. Routine isn’t necessarily always a bad thing, but it is when you let it unknowingly consume you. The peculiarities and surprises in our routine are what keeps us going, so why did you constantly feel as if you were stuck in a rut?
The morning was planned out just as any other had been since you had moved out of your mother’s house. The alarm blares, you hit snooze at least twice, and eventually talk yourself out of leaving the warm comfort of your bed. You shuffle to the bathroom, turn on the shower, and brush your teeth as the water gets warm. You finally rinse with mouthwash before stripping out of your wrinkled clothing and hiss as the hot water hits your shoulder blades. After having at least a fifteen minute long existential crisis while reveling in the scent of cucumber shampoo, you turn the water off and shiver under your towel.
Why was this every morning? The next steps in your head, logically, are to get dressed, attempt to pull a comb through your hair, and head off to work, where you are uncomfortable and uncertain with all of your decisions for eight hours, before you head home again.
No, not today.
You were going to break from the routine.
That didn’t mean treating yourself to coffee along your commute or taking a different route entirely. No, you were going to break away completely.
“Ahem, yes, can I speak to Mr. Kim?” you said, clearing your throat, holding tightly to the towel still wrapped around your otherwise naked body.
“Speaking,” the gruff voice of your supervisor sighed on the opposite end of the line.
“Hi, Mr. Kim,” you nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “This is Y/N, unfortunately I’m having some health issues this morning and won’t be able to come in.”
You weren’t lying. You couldn’t remember the last time you had taken a day strictly for the benefit of your mental health.
“Oh, uh, well alright,” Mr. Kim stuttered. “Will you be in tomorrow?”
“Yes sir, bright and early,” you confirmed, a sly smile finding your lips.
“Take care of yourself and make sure you eat,” he sighed. “We’ll see you in the office tomorrow.”
“Yes Mr. Kim, thank you Mr. Kim,” you hummed, bowing, once again ignoring the fact that he couldn’t actually see you.
Your supervisor quickly hung up, leaving the click of the phone echoing in your ear. You brought down your cell phone, smiling to yourself as you looked down at the screen. For a moment, a flicker of guilt surfaced, but you promptly swallowed it down. Nothing was going to ruin your newfound eight hours of freedom.
You took a deep breath as you walked across the field near your apartment complex. The beautiful thing about living on the outskirts of Seoul was the quick proximity you were to the city and nature simultaneously. You pulled off your sandals, walking barefoot through the soft grass. It was a beautiful day and you were happy that you didn’t have to watch it from the window of your office building. Sunny and calm, but not too warm, a light breeze tickled your face before passing you by. You couldn’t ask for anything more perfect out of the weather.
You looked down as you continued your small steps across the grass and dirt, finally halting as you reached the edge of a small dandelion patch. You clutch the bag you had prepared as it hung from your side, pulling out a thick wool blanket and stretching it out across the ground. You plopped on top of it, closing your eyes as the fabric scratched your legs. You opened them again as another gust of wind blew by, rattling the dandelions, but not disrupting their seeds. You dug in your bag, pulling out your trusty sketch pad and pencils, and looked across the field. You looked down to the small patch of dandelions before you and let your hand move across the page. Your fingers traced weed after weed, not being able to stop until every small seed was represented.
“Weeds,” you clucked, shaking your head as your pencil stopped. “How could anyone think a dandelion was a weed?”
You plucked a dandelion and brought it directly in front of your face. You spun it around lightly, careful not to disturb the tiny dried petals and stamens. It was amazing how intricate even the smallest things in nature were, even something as inconsequential as a “weed.”
“I don’t see a weed,” you whispered, smiling kindly at the tiny plant. “I see hundreds of tiny wishes, just waiting to be launched into the wind.”
You nodded to yourself as you closed your eyes, thinking hard about exactly what you wanted to wish. For a moment you felt silly, letting the child-like indulgence take over you, but quickly decided you didn’t care. Today was your day to be self indulgent, and if that meant you wanted to make a wish on a dandelion, damnit, you were going to do it.
“I wish…” you murmured. “I wish my life was more interesting. I wish to break from the routine and live more consciously. I wish to be an active participant in my own life. I wish…I wish something exciting would happen.”
You took in a deep breath, ready to blow it toward the dandelion, but mother nature had other plans. Just as you breathed in, an uncharacteristically strong gust pushed through the air and descended upon your humble blanket. The hundreds of seeds attached to your small flower carried through the air and away from you.
And so did your sketches.
“This wasn’t the excitement I meant!” you screeched, scrambling to get your hands on the sketches as they blew across the field and headed toward the downward slope of the hill it was placed on.
You stumbled forward, forgetting your shoes on the blanket as you struggled down the rock filled hill. You winced as you picked up paper after paper along the way, keeping your head down, and focus forward.
“Damnit,” you groaned, picking up another crumpled and half ripped pile, nearly crying from frustration. You attempted to straighten the stack in your hands when an unfamiliar hand appeared in your vision, directly beneath your nose.
“I don’t like wearing shoes either,” a deep voice whispered. You jumped, surprised by the sudden appearance of the bystander, and slowly looked up. Your eyes followed up the frame much taller and more muscular than your own. Dressed in a simple pair of ripped jeans and a sweater much too large for his thin torso, a man stood, smiling kindly down at you. A number of your sketches were in his fingers, perfectly unaffected by their journey through the air. He ran a hand through his light brown hair, almost the same color as his tan complexion, and pushed them out toward you again.
“I’m sorry?” you asked, furrowing your brows. You gratefully took the papers from his hands and added them to your stack.
“Your feet,” he nodded, pointing to your bare toes. “I don’t like wearing shoes on pretty days either. I like the feeling of the grass between my toes.”
“Oh,” you sighed, your eyes wide as you looked from his face back down to your feet. “I…I forgot my sandals on the blanket. I…I was at the field on the top of the hill over there when a breeze caught my sketchbook and sent everything flying.”
“It was an interesting image from my vantage,” the man nodded, pursing his lips. “All of the papers in the air. It was like one of those movies where it’s the last day of school before summer, and the bell rings and everyone throws their homework in the air. I guess it’s not your last day of school though?”
“No,” you chuckled, shaking your head. The man before you was bizarre, but oddly comforting. Normally you were wary of strangers, but he didn’t feel threatening at all. “Just a day off from work.”
“Ah! Today is my day off as well,” he smiled. “May I join you as you go back up the hill?”
“Um…sure?” you hummed, biting your lip.
The man nodded happily, his smile causing his eyes to form crescents on his handsome face. He extended his hand to you as he joined your side. You gratefully took it as you began to struggle back up the hill, avoiding as many rocks as you could with his aid.
“I’m Taehyung by the way,” he murmured. “I have so many thoughts…sometimes I forget to actually mention my name.”
“I’m Y/N,” you smiled, leaning into him to avoid a particularly pointy looking stone. “Nice to meet you Taehyung.”
“Did your boss give you the day off today?” Taehyung asked. “Because it’s so pretty?”
“Not quite,” you sighed. “I decided to give myself the day off today.”
“That was a good decision!” he gasped, nodding in approval. “I did the same. I actually sneaked out of the studio to take the short walk here. I don’t think my managers will notice for a few hours. I’m a musician.”
“Like an idol?” you asked carefully, your blanket finally coming into view at the top of the hill.
“Exactly like an idol,” he nodded with a smile. “But I don’t really like the term. I’m just a guy who likes making music with his friends.”
“That’s very sweet,” you smiled. You let go of Taehyung’s hand and knelt down onto the blanket, stuffing the crumpled sketches into your book and the book into your bag. You looked up to Taehyung before shutting it, realizing he was still holding a piece of paper in his hands.
“Do you think…do you think I could keep this one?” Taehyung whispered. You tilted your head, noting that he held the sketch you were working on as the wind had blown the dandelion from your fingers.
“Of course,” you chuckled, smiling up warmly at him. He returned your smile before extending the paper back toward you.
“But you have to sign it,” he nodded. “Every piece of art should have it’s artist’s signature…and maybe their phone number…you know…for future reference or artistic inquiries.”
You lifted your brows as Taehyung’s cheeks grew more and more red. You nodded as you bit your lip, understanding where he was going. You took the paper gingerly from his long fingers and quickly scribbled a signature, adding your phone number in tiny digits beneath the handwriting.
“Just so you know,” you said, taking a deep breath before you spoke. You handed the paper up to Taehyung again. “If ever there is an artistic inquiry…I’m available most weekends…if you want to discuss things.”
“Over coffee, and possibly a baked good?” he smiled, biting his lip.
“Oh, could a discussion happen any other way?” you laughed. Taehyung laughed as well, the noise pure and heavy.
“I’ll let you get back to your drawing then,” Taehyung nodded, holding tight to your sketch with both hands. “Have a good day off!”
You grinned, looking down to your lap. “I already have.”
I know it’s a really random headcannon but I just remembered my decade-long inner battle of Avocado: To Eat or Not to Eat? and I wondered what these dorks would think of them…hopefully I can entertain you but this is my first time writing headcannons so I may disappoint
- he has a sixth sense for avocados, somehow can tell at the grocery store which one are the most fresh and how many days until they’re ready to eat
- seriously this kid knows exactly when they’re ripe, and will s c r e a m if they’re not used in time because we all know an avocado’s edibility window is like 3.5 minutes
- makes killer guacamole for when they have taco nights
- he’s just basically an avocado god
- tried to plant an avocado seed once but no matter how long he waited nothing ever grew bless his soul
- n O
- “But Zen, they’re really good for your complexion.”
- goes on and on about how his skin is already perfect and he doesn’t need any of the extra vitamins avocados carry
- just highkey doesn’t like them
- “They taste like nothing and turn to mush if you so much as blow on them” Zen no not really
- Loves Yoosung’s guacamole though
- But that’s because he didn’t know what guacamole is made of baby how could you not know it’s fkn green and chunky did you think it was lettuce???
- Once he found out he kind of wanted to cry because ew avocados but at the same time Yoosung’s guac is so magical so he was really confused
- Neither for not against, but rather appreciates the presence of fresh avocado in her sushi (when she actually has time to eat a proper meal Jumin give this poor girl a break)
- also likes Yoosungs guacamole that shit is delicious so whenever she’s super stressed Yoosung makes her some and she eats tortillas and guacamole while watching some of Zen’s performances
- once kind of overdosed on guacamole and had a dream about licking some off of Zen’s abs tbh who hasn’t
- He’s the old person who always goes around saying how you could basically live off avocados if their nutrients were balanced
- “My nutritionist is always telling me about the benefits of avocados for your health and I want to find a way to share these benefits with Elly.”
- Tried to feed some to Elly once but she stepped in it and trailed avocado mush around his house
- Taking is as a sign that she didn’t like it, he toyed with the idea of making hybrid avocados more suitable for cats
-Jaehee had a mental breakdown and required the intervention of Zen and Yoosung to put a stop to his idea
- this B O i
- he’s a genius and actually has left his bunker before so I’m pretty sure he at least knows what an avocado looks like
- hates them with a passion
- never actually ate one though
- “It justfeelsso weird.”
- “Seven I thought you were more the ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’ type.”
- “Yeah but this is like I’m touching someone’s intense goosebumps and it gives me goosebumps.”
- still, avocado puns all day every day
- once handed an avocado to a blind person and asked them to ‘translate’ for him
- “Please, I found this ancient relic while trekking through the forest the other day, and so far nobody has been able to translate the text…may you provide me with some guidance?”
- ”Is this…an avocado?”
- “No it’s an ancient relic.”
- “sometimes will chuck an avocado at Vanderwood if he’s being annoying or just because he feels like it
- What’s an avocado?
- feels the same way as his brother until he tries Yoosung’s guacamole I swear his guac cures everything
- now he loves them
- if Saeyoung is annoying him he’ll clean out avocado shells and leave them lying around the house
- giggles when he hears sudden yelps from Seven over the next couple of days when he finds shells hidden in his Honey Buddha stash or in his underwear drawer
- For some reason I can totally picture him being super allergic
- Still encourages others to eat avocados because he doesn’t want to hold others back because of his own ‘issue’ baby no it’s okay we don’t want you to die
- Once he voiced his disappointment at being unable to taste Yoosung’s infamous guac, so Yoosung grudgingly made him his own bowl of salsa
- V’s smile was the brightest thing in the room
- Never bothered to actually try one, but because of Saeyoung, he now usually carries a couple of avocados on him whenever he goes around to visit
- avocado fights that leave heavy bruising
- Teams up with Saeran and together they take over the world it upon themselves to find as many ways as possible to bother Saeyoung using avocados
- will not hesitate to kick you in the face if you so much as mention avocado puns
- one time Vanderwood spilled a bit of coffee on himself, which incited an offhand “Oh wow, bravocado,” from Saeyoung
- the avocado that whizzed at the tomato’s head flew with enough force to make a dent in the wall
I spent an hour of my life writing this and I enjoyed every second of it, so I hope you also enjoyed reading my word vomit??
If you have any requests please feel free to ask me!
hey guys! since it’s the new year, i decided to make a little post on how i personally like to relax and de-stress, especially since all my gcse courses have started.
sleep! // it’s important to get the right amount of sleep as it benefits your concentration, memory and ability to learn. as students, it’s hard to get good sleep, with all the assignments we get! take a nap after school or when you have any spare time, even if it’s only for 20 minutes! personally, sleep helps to get rid of any tension and unwanted thoughts i may have.
listen to music // listening to music has a relaxing affect on our minds and bodies. slow music has the best affect on us, with many benefits including decreasing the levels of stress hormones. it acts as a great distraction if you’re looking for one too. spotify has a variety of hand made playlists to suit the mood you want!
tea! // tea has the amazing ability to reduce stress, calm anxiety and improve your mood, while also having benefits on your health. if you’re not sure about which tea you would prefer best, do some research and experiment with different flavours! personally chamomile tea does the trick for me and the scent is very calming.
pamper yourself! // whether this means having a warm bath or doing your nails, small things like these can help you a lot. pampering yourself can help you feel like your escaping reality and taking an emotional and mental break with a refreshing and clean feeling.
driving // personally driving is extremely relaxing and calming for me. it gives you a chance to reconnect with your surroundings and nature, and helps me appreciate the little things. i’m able to take a break from technology and give myself time to think and have some alone time. it’s also a great way to catch up with friends and go on a day out and just have a good time. personally i prefer night rides, since the roads in london are usually more empty and free at this time, and i’m able to drive to my heart’s desire lol
i hope that these tips helped and you’re able to apply them to your routine! please add any of your own tips and tricks if you have any! i’d love to try some new ones
and remember that school and grades aren’t everything and that your happiness is so much more important. give yourself a break when you need to and don’t overwork yourself. mental health is extremely important, so please take care of yourselves!
If you are unable to burn incense defuse essential oils instead. Although they can be more pricey, diffusing essential oils not only works exactly like incense but can also benefit your health as well!
N – This would be ok with him. To a point. Hakyeon understands the burden of responsibility and that would be a trait he’d greatly admire in a partner. Plus he’s good at entertaining himself with his own hobbies. But eventually he’d get irritated and directly confront you about it. He’s busy too but makes time for you so why can’t you manage your time better? Was he not important enough to you? It’d take some effort to smooth his ruffled feathers but just paying attention to him would resolve most of the issue. Hakyeon is a prima donna at times, but hidden underneath all of that bluster he really needs the reassurance of your attention, even if only occasionally, to feel secure in the relationship.
Leo – Initially would say he understood and try to give you space. But as the day progressed (yes he wouldn’t even make it a day) and you continued to ignore him, he’d live up to his feline moniker and do the human equivalent of draping himself across your papers. He wouldn’t come out and say he’s lonely and wants your attention but he’d be all over you physically. Leaning against you, playing with your hair, nibbling any body part within reach. It’d be playful behavior but insistent. He loves you and desires your attention since he doesn’t get to be with you nearly as much as he’d like. It’d just be best to give some attention to the needy kitty to make him happy.
Ken – Our Aegyo King would fare better at this than one might suspect. Of course when you broke the news to him he’d pout playfully but he’d only be teasing. Despite his on air gregariousness he knows how to be alone quietly. He’d probably use the time to brush up on his Chinese or any upcoming projects he may have. But as time went along and there was no end in sight he’d be a bit like Leo only more vocal. Much more vocal. In a sing song voice he’d call a cutsie version of your name while doing things to distract you. Now that Ken’s on a mission it’d be impossible to stay focused, so you’d end up taking a break which he would insist was for the benefit of your health anyway.
Ravi – Wonsik is the most independent of the group and actually needs his own space too. He’d be the last to notice and the least bothered by this situation. That isn’t to say he doesn’t enjoy your company. He does very much. But quantity is not the same as quality for him. If it was something that was going on for months then he’d feel unsettled and definitely bring his concerns to your attention. But if it was a one-time thing that only lasted a couple weeks he’d be totally understanding. Ravi would be proud of your work ethic and probably take you out to celebrate a project well done.
Hongbin – Surprisingly Kong would take this personally. In the beginning he’d think it was legit but as time went on he’d start to worry that maybe the project was an excuse to give him the brush off. He’d stew and sulk. The other members would try to reassure him, but he wouldn’t take their words to heart. Hongbin’s interactions with you would be on the passive aggressive side because he’s frustrated. He wouldn’t directly address the real issue though because he doesn’t like confrontation and deep down he’s worried he’s right. Once the project was over and you could spend more time with him he’d be so relieved he’d probably sheepishly admit what he’d been thinking.
Hyuk – On the surface may seem independent like Ravi, but really wants the attention of his partner when he is with them. He doesn’t get to see you often so he wants that time to be spent focused on each other whether it’s playing video games, watching movies, or just goofing around. Saying you were busy might fly a few times but after that he wouldn’t accept the status quo. Asking for equal time or even just an hour or two where you didn’t have any distractions. If you couldn’t be flexible he might think you were losing interest. But if you at least made an attempt at putting him first a few times then he’d appreciate your efforts and be much more patient about the whole thing.
Today I will share a recipe I came up during one of the long sleepless nights, when I felt sad and hopeless. It helped me and I’m sure it will help you too.
What you will need is:
1. One big spoon of honey, choose the one you like best for the taste. Honey is magickal by itself, in Hindu texts it is described as one of five immortality potions. Furthermore in folk magick it is used to sweeten someone’s feelings towards you, so feel free to prepare this drink for either yourself (if you feel down it will make you kinder to yourself too) or your loved one. Its health benefits are also science proven - it can protect you from allergies and their symptoms.
2. Few thin slices of ginger, i suggest fresh one, as it has the most benefits. Ginger by itself is fiery and energetic, it amplifies everything it’s close to. It also adds passion to already existing relationships, so once again, it’s a perfect drink to prepare for your loved one. Apart from magickal benefits, it’s great for your health, it triggers the immune system and works great against cold.
3. Fresh lemon juice from half the lemon. Lemon juice is magickally cleansing and purifying, something we probably need when we feel down - to cleanse ourselves from toxic emotions and any powers that might have control over us. Furthermore it is proven that lemon juice aids our immune system and as well as ginger can protect us from cold and generally feeling bad.
4. Three or four cardamom pot seeds. This lovely spice is something I recommend adding to your daily tea or coffee, apart from this potion. It’s stimulating beyond belief - it can relax your body and purify your mind letting you concentrate when you need it the most, or let you drift swiftly into the arms of Morpheus. It also is antiviral and antibacterial, which is great during autumn and winter, when sickness is hunting for us at every corner.
5. Hot water. When you are done adding the ingredients, just overflow your cup with freshly cooked water, stir it with spoon and let it sit for about five minutes, for the water to take in the tastes from the ingredients.
And that’s it, that’s how you make the happiness potion. Let me know guys if you enjoyed the recipe and Goddess be with you all. :)
You open the drawer, trying to take a piece of paper. Instead, you grab a certain polaroid picture.
A polaroid of you and Luke.
Luke was drunk. There was no doubt about it, he kept trying to hug you, kiss up your neck and kiss you. Which made you blush. A whole lot. “Luke! Stop it,” you whined, pushing him away for what you thought was the millionth time.
“Y/N!” He shouts, hugging you. “You are cute, I swear. Cute as fuck,” he spoke, emphasising on ‘cute’. You blush once more, feeling heat creep up to your cheeks. “Luke, you’re drunk,” you state, trying to pry his hands off your face.
Luke shakes his head, like as if he was getting rid of water in his ears. “I am not,” he argues, a childish tone lacing his voice. You sigh. “Yes, you are,” you say. “No. I’m not!” He exclaims, pouting and stomping his foot onto the floor, just like a child. He grabs on to your waist tighter, and buries his face into your neck. “I’m not drunk,” he mumbles.
Suddenly, a flash of a camera goes off. You look towards where the light was, and see Aimee holding a polaroid picture and the camera. She winks, and gives you a thumbs up, passing you the polaroid before skipping away.
You sigh, smiling sadly, before putting the picture away, safely inside your drawer. Even if he hurt you so many times, he still is your true soulmate.
Meanwhile, Calum was in the grocery store, trying to get your favourite candies and snacks for your movie night. He walks by the alcohol section, seeing a certain brand of whiskey that brought him back memories.
You were drunk. There was no doubt about it, seeing that there were at least two glasses of whiskey on the table. You weren’t a strong drinker, and just one full glass of alcohol could cause some public ruckus from you.
“Doll, you need to stop drinking, you’re gonna get a really bad hangover tomorrow,” Calum spoke, gently shaking your shoulder, your figure hunched over the table. “N-No! I’m going to get drunk! Unbliva… Unbelievably drunk!” You shout over the loud thumping music, slightly messing up at the ‘unbelievable’ part.
“Why do you wanna get drunk?” Calum asks, furrowing his eyebrows. He remembers that you absolutely despise getting full-on drunk, unless you were celebrating or feeling down. You definitely weren’t celebrating anything, so Calum concludes that you were feeling down.
You look up at him, eyes bloodshot, wide and hair tangled. Calum still thought you were beautiful though; he never once did think you weren’t. “My soulmate gave up on me. I-I’ve been waiting for 3 years. He never did change his mind,” you hiccuped, tears welling in your eyes. “I just want him to love me!” You cry out, emphasising on the word 'love’.
Calum sighs. “Let me love you,” he whispered.
Calum shakes his head, getting himself out of his thoughts. He walks towards the candy section, grabbing at the pack of gummy bears that you wanted.
You slam the beer can down onto the table, and Calum cringes at the noise. You pick up a gummy bear, before raising your hand up, looking at the gummy bear closely.
“Gummy bears, they’re tasty, chewy, and are little things of happiness. Except, that if you eat too much of these things-” you throw it back down onto the bowl. “They can rot your teeth. They’re have a ton of sugar in it. And it’s all artificial and doesn’t benefit your goddamned health. And then, you’ll feel pain in your teeth because it rot! Then you can’t eat gummy bears again,” you ramble.
You looked up at him, eyes bloodshot. “In my situation, my soulmate’s presence is sugar. In a shape of a gummy bear. I feed off of it, I love it, and eat way too much of it. Then, I realise its all artificial. It’s not love, it’s artificial, fake. But it’s too late! It’s already rotting my heart. And there comes the pain. All that pain,” you ramble. People probably would’ve thought you were crazy, but Calum understood every. Single. Thing. You. Said.
He could relate to it one hundred percent.
Calum looks down at the pack of gummy bears he was holding, and heaves a deep sigh. Sometimes, he’d ask himself if he soulmates were real.
Did Calum believe in soulmates? No, he didn’t. His soulmate gave up on him long before he even met her. Just like you. He was heartbroken. Calum couldn’t accept the fact that soulmates could give up on their partner.
That was, until he met you. He was used to seeing black, white, and grey. But every time he looked at you, he saw colours. It was like you were made for each other. No, not soulmates. You fit each other, what you went through, what you did for your soulmate, and how you felt.
We’ll safety pin the pieces of our broken hearts back together.
On the other hand, Luke was a mess. He knew he deserved this, he knew this was exactly how you felt when you realised your world was just a black, white, and grey.
The scattered empty beer cans seemed to represent his heart. Empty. Scattered all over the place. But could Luke do anything? No. Definitely not. It was too late.
Luke liked to deceive himself. He told himself he’d get over this, wake up the next day feeling normal and absolutely fine. But he knew he couldn’t. You waited for three years deceiving yourself that he’d come back for you. And now Luke’s going to spend a long time deceiving himself that he’d wake up and be “fine”.
Luke pulls himself up, using the glass coffee table to steady himself. His head was pounding, but that small amount of pain wouldn’t ever be able to be equivalent to the heartbreak that he was going through.
Luke stumbled around, opening a cupboard, reaching his hand out, feeling for any packet of food. His hand grabs on to a packet of candy. Gummy bears.
Hi! Some people are happy being overweight, and that's okay. But many people don't feel comfortable being overweight, and being overweight/obese can cause a plethora of health problems. (Of course, weight doesn't determine someone's worth as a person.) What can we do to encourage health while still remaining positive about body image? (I hope I don't offend anyone. I post stuff about healthy bodies occasionally, but I want to be sensitive to others and avoid body-shaming.) Thanks!
Hey - I don’t think this is offensive at all. It’s a very valid question, and I think it’s definitely possible to encourage both physical health along with body positivity.
-We need to start seeing body image and physical health as separate entities. You can love your body and celebrate it’s beauty while still wanting to change aspects of your lifestyle to benefit your physical health. Motivation for exercise and healthy eating should come from a place of self-love and caring for oneself, not from a place of sadness and hating one’s body.
- Health and weight are not interchangeable. You can be overweight or obese according to BMI standards and nevertheless healthier than someone in the “normal” BMI range. Eating a healthy diet and being physically active are great things to do for your health, and they aren’t necessarily always reflected by a change in your weight.
-Promoting physical activity for the sake of weight loss is, in my opinion, a mistake for several reasons. Firstly, you can be getting more fit but put on weight due to muscle. Secondly, if someone is being more physically active but not losing weight, they may give up on their exercise plan because they think it’s “not working,” when really exercise has tremendous health benefits independent of weight loss. A similar story is true for nutrition/healthy eating.
20 Ways to connect with the Gods and w/ magic everyday:
Be grateful; Get up and say thanks to your Gods. It could be anywhere: In your car, taking a shower, cooking dinner. Just be thankful for your blessings.
Spend time with plants: Sit and meditate, talk to them.
Practice Yoga: Besides the infinite numbers of benefits for your health, Yoga is good for balance, and bringing that to your spiritual practice will help get in touch with the visible and invisible world
Be gentle to yourself: Take some time to look at the mirror and realize all your qualities and only your best assets. Love yourself and banish self defeat thoughts.
Sleep with the goddess: Take an image or symbol of the Goddess and put it under your pillow. Before sleeping, recite a little prayer and ask her for guidance in whatever it is you’d like: Love, wisdom, healing, calm… Record your dreams.
Take a magical herb shower: Cleanse yourself of negative energies and attract good ones with specific herb baths for: Wisdom, prosperity, confidence, attraction, love…
Connect with Crystals: Take some time to meditate with them. Choose one that represents the Goddess or one that you like best, Sleep with it under the pillow or siply carry it in yout bag during the day.
Create a Goddess Vision Board: You can do it as a collage of printed pictures or one board on Pinterest (Like I did). Take images of paintings, animals, symbols, runes, colors, or anything else that can be associated with that God or Goddess. Dedicate it to them.
Memorize favorite prayers, mantras or chants: This will help you get in touch with the spiritual world and with the divine.
Watch your thoughts: According to the kermetic laws, thoughts are magic and they create by manifestation. So pay attention and don’t let them take control over your emotions and actions. Pray to the Goddes so, she’ll remove negative thoughts with optimism and blessings.
Clean and re-organize your altar: A magical place demands to be clean and free of old energies. So clean your sacred space and take some time to dedicate it to the Gods, listen to their suggestions and add new things to it, like new stones or fresh flowers.
Change your routine: Do different things and get out of your comfort zone. It cand lead you to different opportunities and you may even notice different signs from the Gods.
Spend quality time with your pets or familiars: Talk and connect with them. Meditate with spirit animals and seek their guidance.
Cook something magical: I lovee kitchen witchcraft and that’s the most simple and fast way you could include magic into your daily busy life. Research on different herbs, fruits and vegetables magickal properties, and make a meal that’s for a specific purpose like: Prosperity, peace in the home, love, wisdom, concentration. Practice visualization while doing it.
Clean your wardrobe, closets, drawers: Get rid of the clutter. That’s best during the waning moon. And while your doing it, visualize all that gross, old, energy coming out of your closet. Throw away what’s not useful anymore and separate what you think you could donate to someone who needs more.
Look at the sky: Get up early and say goodbye to the Moon and welcome the Sun. Take some time to look athe the sunset, go somewhere far from the city lights and talk to the stars,
Practice Crafts or D.Y.I: Magic is craft too, and I find craft super fun and relaxing. Put some magic into it! Make bracelets, earings, amulets, candles, oils, drawings, pentacles, jars, incenses, get creative and let the Goddess guide you through it.
Music: I seriously coundn’t live without music. If you are like me, dedicate music to the divine or even incorporate a song into a spell. DANCE with the goddess and gods, dance for them! Or even sing a song, play if you are a musician. This is real magic.
Divination: Perform divination for simple questions during the day, like: “Will I receive a call from my friend?” and them move to harder ones. Carry your pendulum around with you to connect with it and then write down your answers and results.
Update and write on your Book Of Shadows: I personally don’t owe a big leather B.O.S, my main ones are online on Tumblr and on computer files. I have a small notebook which I write basically anything related to witchcraft: Sigils, spells, information about the gods, prayers, crystals and such. Write something on it, even if it’s just a sigil or a rune.
So, yeah! When I began with witchcraft I read a lot of stuff but I thought I never had time for real practice. I was always too busy. And then I figured that you don’t need to separate some time for witchcraft, you can do it everyday at any time. You only have to be creative and to want magic in your life. There are many other different ways to do this, just do what feels right for your practice.
The ABC Skill: Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions
In DBT, the content of the Emotion Regulation unit can be broken down into three main categories:
How to identify and understand your emotions–there are no specific DBT Skills that fall into this category, but the content is still an important foundation that the other two categories build on.
How to change or regulate your emotional responses–this includes Skills like Check the Facts, Opposite Action (link coming soon), and Problem Solving.
How to reduce your emotional vulnerability–these two Skill sets are known as ABC PLEASE.
This post is going to start covering content from the third category. This category is incredibly important because not only will they aid you in becoming less vulnerable to crisis, but it will actually give you direction for how to build a life that you want to live–a life you have choice and control in, that is founded on positives rather than simply surviving day-to-day, crisis-to-crisis. You want to have as much content from this third category in your life as possible in order to counter, to balance, and ultimately to supersede your Bad Days with Good Days. This doesn’t mean the Bad Days will go away entirely, but it does mean you will have more emotional reserves (or spoons) to minimize the scale and effect of each crisis you encounter.
1. What is the ABC Skill?
The ABC Skill is really three separate Skills all rolled into one acronym because they work towards the same general goal. Each letter represents one whole Skill that can exist independently of the other letters, which is why I’ve decided to break up the post on the ABC Skill into three posts that address one component each.
The three components of ABC are:
A: Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions
B: Build Mastery
C: Cope Ahead
The ABC Skill set focuses on how to help you take action in a positive, effective manner that will have both short-term and long-term benefits to your mental health and general well-being. Basically, these Skills exist to make your life better by reducing your vulnerability to Emotion Mind and to stress-triggered or stress-aggravated symptoms of BPD.
2. What is meant by Accumulating Positive Experiences and what is the point?
The A component of the ABC Skill is Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions. This means doing things that you can genuinely enjoy, participate mindfully in, experience happiness or joy as a result, all without judging yourself or feeling guilty. It’s important that when Accumulating Positive Experiences, you do so Mindfully because it can actually be fairly difficult to do things you enjoy when your life is dominated by distressing symptoms, bad experiences, and negative emotions.
You might find that your depression has significantly impaired your ability to find enjoyment in the things that you used to really enjoy. You might find that your anxiety discourages you from trying new things that might be enjoyable because you’re too afraid that you won’t actually enjoy them, or that you’ll fail, or that others will judge you. You might find that your paranoia or hypervigilance from trauma makes it almost impossible to fully Participate in an activity that you would otherwise enjoy because you’re always on edge and don’t know how to relax anymore.
You might find that your mental illness has skewed your thinking to be so negative that you no longer see any point of seeking out positive experiences because the positive feelings that come from those experiences won’t last. You might worry that the negative thoughts and feelings will quickly return and it’ll be all the more disappointing and distressing when you fall back down again. It’s hard to keep getting back up and trying again when your mental illness keeps knocking you down–it might even seem safer or less harmful to not even try to get back up again because you want to protect yourself from as much hurt as possible.
When it comes to disorders like BPD, this is a constant battle we wage between ourselves and our illness. It’s a battle that we will likely be fighting for a long, long time. We have ups and downs but the ups never last long enough and it can be incredibly discouraging and disheartening, which makes it harder to endure the downs. DBT aims to provide you the tools you need to fight and win these battles by teaching you Skills that you otherwise would not have at your disposal.
By Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions you effectively replenish your emotional reserves, reduce your vulnerabilities, and give yourself a reason to pick yourself back up after getting knocked down again. The goal of Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions is to increase your “ups” by making those ups more frequent, longer in duration, and more stable.
Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions is one component of reclaiming your life from your
mental illness, to re-learn how to live a life that isn’t entirely dominated
by the day-to-day struggle to survive and endure.
It shifts the focus from enduring or fending off negative
experiences/emotions to actually seeking out positive experiences/emotions and enjoying. The goal is to slowly fill your life up with these positive experiences so you’re fighting
those battles less often. Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions serves both short-term and long-term purposes: reducing your emotional vulnerability, while also helping you build a life that is fulfilling and meaningful to you.
3. How to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the Short-Term
The point of Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions in the short-term is to do pleasant things that are possible now. Your BPD symptoms (or symptoms of other comorbid disorders as previously mentioned) might make it very difficult for you to enjoy much of what you used to be able to enjoy, so it’s important to take baby-steps and have hopeful but realistic expectations.
Do small and simple things that you can enjoy as you are in this moment, and slowly build yourself up to being able to attempt bigger experiences that may be more meaningful or fulfilling. Sometimes small, simple, and silly things can be meaningful too, because every positive feeling you make for yourself should be considered a victory when you generally feel miserable.
You Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the short term by:
Start building positive experiences now. Don’t delay or avoid, don’t tell yourself you haven’t done anything today to “deserve” to have a positive experience today. You may not feel entirely comfortable spending your time on something positive for yourself, at least not right away, but this is one of those times where it’s okay to give yourself a little push. Remember, positive experiences are good! They’re positive experiences because they don’t have negative components or consequences. They aren’t supposed to result in feeling bad or feeling worse–they’re solely meant to benefit you in a positive and enjoyable way. Start small and work your way up.
Increase pleasant events that lead to positive emotions. Try to work up to doing one pleasant thing each day–it doesn’t have to be different each day but you should try a variety of things to broaden your experiences eventually. The List of Pleasant Events is a good place to start for ideas. You can also make your own List of Pleasant Events/Activities and print it out, highlight it, stick it to your wall or your fridge–somewhere you’ll see it regularly–and work through it at your own pace.
If you find yourself avoiding doing your Pleasant Events, practice Opposite Action (link coming soon).
Be mindful of positive experiences. Focus your attention on positive moments when they are happening. Use your Mindfulness What Skills and How Skills to do this. Don’t multitask! Dedicate this time to your Pleasant Event and to your experience of the Pleasant Event only. You want to Participate and engage fully in each experience, soak up the positive feelings or thoughts or sensations.
Being mindful of your enjoyment will help you recall the experience at a later date, such as when you’re in crisis and are having a hard time remembering or believing that you have had or could ever have positive experiences and emotions. If you find your mind wandering to negative territory during your Pleasant Event, refocus your attention or Turn Your Mind towards the positive.
Be unmindful of worries. It’s rare to ever be told to be unmindful of something in DBT, but this is one of those times when you don’t want to give any mental attention to thoughts or feelings you may have if they are negative and detracting from the positive experience. You might have worries such as thinking about when the positive experience will end or what will happen after it ends; you might worry about whether you deserve this positive experience; you also might worry that others might expect much more from you now that you were able to expend the effort required to do this one Pleasant Event for yourself; etc.
Gently push away these thoughts if you cannot avoid acknowledging them. Rehearse some affirmations or “challenges” to counter these kinds of thoughts. These thoughts might be rooted in deeply-held personal beliefs about emotions and about yourself (a list of such myths and possible challenges to them will be written at a later date), so counter-arguments (“challenges”) may not come easily to you in the beginning, or you may not truly believe those affirmations or counter-arguments yet. It takes time.
Keep trying!Remember, if we don’t challenge our negative thoughts/feelings or allow ourselves to have positive thoughts/feelings, then we won’t be able to accumulate positive experiences because we will always stay in one place, restricted by our negative experiences. It may take you several tries, dozens and dozens of tries before you can effectively challenge, push away, or be unmindful of these types of negative thoughts, but it is possible.
4. How to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the Long-Term
The point of Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions in the long-term is to make changes in your life so that positive events will happen more often in the future. This is commonly referred to as “building a life worth living” but honestly I believe that all lives are already worth living, they just may not be lives that we want to live. So I prefer to say that the long-term goal of Accumulating Positive Experiences is to build a life that is fulfilling and meaningful to you–a life that you want to have. The way you make these changes is to live according to your values.
These are the steps that you would take in order to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the Long-Term
Avoid avoiding: Start now to do what is needed to build the life you want. You need to make the active choice to pursue Accumulating Positive Experiences and be an active part of that accumulation, rather than hoping that these experiences will just happen by chance. If you’re not sure about what to do or how to do it, follow the steps as a guide.
Identify values that are important to you: Ask yourself, what values are really important to me in my life? What things to I want to be the foundation of my life? It’s okay if these things change as your identity shifts, and it’s also okay if these values are not 100% firm. It’s also okay if the values you identify conflict somewhat. What matters is that you have an idea of what is meaningful to you and the general direction you want to take your life in. See the List of Values and Priorities for guidance.
Identify one value to work on now. Ask yourself, what is really important to me, right now, to work on in my life? That thing may not end up being something you would value under other circumstances, but this is the step where you take your present situation into account. From where you are at this point in time, what would benefit you the most to work on? What do you deeply want more of in your life that you currently lack, that is within your power to obtain for yourself? Your criteria for determining which value you work on first could be all sorts of things, as long as–at the core–it is about bringing something positive into your life that will make you enjoy or value your life more.
Identify a few goals related to this value. Ask yourself what specific goals you can work on that will make this value a part of my life? This value becomes the guiding force behind your goals. These goals can be small or more ambitious, but make sure these are things that you can work towards right away. You don’t want to choose goals here that you wouldn’t be able to start working on until a number of future conditions have been met, though it is important to be aware of these sorts of long-term, complex goals. The idea here is to make things as easy as possible for yourself to take definitive steps towards a more enjoyable and fulfilling life.
Choose one goal to work on now. Do a Pros and Cons, if necessary, to select a goal to work on now. You might want to start with something small and easily achievable so that you don’t get discouraged. You also might want to pick a goal that has a strong degree of immediacy to it, meaning that achieving this goal means instant or near instant improvement to your life in a significant way.
Identify small action steps toward your goal. What small steps can you take to get to your goal? This step really helps if executive dysfunction regularly interferes with your ability to set and achieve goals. Break steps into smaller components, so that each step becomes a series of smaller steps. It becomes easier to make progress because small tasks don’t seem nearly as daunting as tackling the whole goal at once.
Take one action step now. This is pretty self-explanatory, but you have to make sure you’re actually taking action rather than just making plans and not following through on those plans. You don’t have to tackle the whole goal in one day–you can just do one or a few of those smaller actions steps if that’s all you can handle today.
Remember that Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions is supposed to
make you feel better and make your life more enjoyable–it shouldn’t
stress you out, constantly frustrate you, or inconvenience you.
Pursuing goals can sometimes be stressful or frustrating or even
inconvenient at times, but the benefits should outweigh the
You can work on Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions in the short-term by yourself rather easily, as this Skill lends itself well to working at your own pace and listening to your own desired. When attempting to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the long-term, though, you may want to work with a therapist or close friend in order to help determine what options are feasible to work on now and what values and goals should be set aside for later, when you are further along in your recovery journey.
TL;DR: Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions is a component of the Emotion Regulation ABC Skill, which is a Skill used to reduce your emotional vulnerabilities. Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions means slowly filling your life up with positive experiences and feelings in order to make your life less vulnerable to negative feelings and experiences.
In the short-term, this means doing some sort of pleasant thing that is possible right now, no matter how small and trivial, and doing such a thing every day. In the long-term, this means living according to your values and allowing your values to guide your goals so that you can restructure your life around enjoying positive experiences instead of enduring negative ones. Accumulating Positive Experiences means giving your life direction so that you can ultimately build a life that you find personally meaningful and fulfilling.
I really fucking hate how judgy some people are when it comes to you making a decision that will benefit your health? Like please and thank you leave me the fuck alone?? I have a plan and goals, I know what I’m doing. Life isn’t all about high school bullshit??
Series: DRAMAtical Murder Pairing: Mink/Sei Genre: Fluff/NSFW Summary: After having to drop out of college for health reasons, Sei decides to visit his favorite professor one last time.
Notes: It’s late, but this is written for Day 3 of DMMD rarepair week. Also this is for shibaface! Based on an AU we and others talked about once. Word Count: 3670 read on ao3
Right before Sei could peek inside the open office a few feet from him, he retreated back against the wall, letting out a barely audible sigh. It seemed the trek up the stars had taken more out of him than he expected. That probably was something he should’ve seen coming, even though the office of his professor was only a floor above the classroom. Sei would think the warning pound of his heart would upset him more, but by now it was all rote enough that he just decided not to give his body any complaints.
Resting his fingertips right over his heart, he pressed in soothing circles, methodical and knowing right where to put pressure in order for his weak organ to calm down. It beat back against his fingers almost rebelliously until finally it started to pump at a more normal pace.
He sighed again, letting his hand rest there a moment.