beneficies

Why we enjoy Sarah J Maas’s books:

Alright! So I finally got through all of the survey responses. I got over 300! However, I did have to throw out over 50 as many people decided to check more than 5 for likes or dislikes. And I don’t think google forms lets you limit the number they can check? Anyways, it’s fine because I still have 254 usable responses and tons of lovely quotes/thoughts/rants from all of you!!

I’ll put the data charts up top and then the long answer responses below, divided into sections.

So clearly, we are overwhelmingly here for the female characters, the character growth, and the romance. But we also like the morally grey characters, the world building, and the representation of PTSD, abuse, and mental health issues. 

I’m sorry that is so tiny, but basically, we overwhelmingly dislike the lack of diversity in terms of PoC and LGBTQ character and we also have some issues with world building, magic, and seeing our favs do problematic things. 

Also 18 of your hate Celaena lol (I love her and I know that putting that answer in there as a selection was petty af but I cannot help myself. It was all for a good laugh)


Alright, so most of us feel negatively and positively about the fandom. But a solid chunk, 34%, feels positively most-all of the time. Which is great. We are doin okay friends. Only 5.5%, 14 people, felt like the fandom affected them only negatively. 

So we clearly are here for enjoyment and escapism. And pain. 

Also, I apologize for the wet dreams one but THIS FANDOM LOVES SMUT I HAD TO PUT IT ON THERE OKAY

So 70% of the ppl reading to enjoy things and find it easy to ignore the things we dislike. 


And the long answers:

Enjoyment:

Some of us really enjoy the way she writes characters—she really makes us really care with backstory and character development:

“When I finally decide to shut the book, it takes me a minute to forget that the characters aren’t real. I’ve fallen in love with almost every single one of her characters because they’re so authentic; they go through hardships, they love, they fall out of love, they get angry, they grieve deeply, but most importantly, they GROW. I’m so impressed with who Feyre and Aelin have come to be as women over the years. The familial love that bonds the characters together is also something that I really connect to. They really would do ANYTHING to protect each other.” anonymous

“She delivers types of characters and points of view that other YA writers haven’t done. She pulls of tropes without making them boring. She isn’t afraid of calling characters out for doing the wrong thing.”- @the-heir-of-terrasen

“I think SJM’s character development is her biggest strength. I haven’t connected to so many characters in a series since Harry Potter. She is good at showing rather than telling when it comes to several moments of key character building, especially for . That I am so emotionally invested in such a wide variety of characters across two series is a testament to her gift.” -anonymous

“Her use of description and narrative really is eye-opening to the world of the characters in the most subtle of ways. She knows how to wield a character’s experiences and history to cleave new paths in their personalities, and thus makes ever-changing, ever-growing characters that are so much more relatable than most other fantasy books. Not to mention that her villains are just as mysterious and wicked as her protagonists, making even the antagonists realistic to the point of you *screaming* at the book for whatever the character has done this time.“ - @cynical-minds-for-cynical-times

“The Connection to the characters. I don’t relate so much as I do just care very, very deeply about them. I LIKE them, even if they aren’t likable people?” @squaddreamcourt

We also really enjoy how morally complex the characters are:

“What I love about SJM is that she doesn’t make things prettier than they are. She has not created a perfect world, with those perfect good characters finding a perfect happy ending. Instead she created a world that has loads of problems we’re also facing in our world and she shows us how layered and well thought out characters are dealing with them. Her characters grow and the emotional impact of their deeds is not shrugged off. I love it how everything they do has consequences and how the heroes make mistakes and bad decisions and how the villains do good things sometimes. What I love is that it’s a fascinating world with fascinating characters that gives me an unique view on our world.” @acourtofhopeanddreams

“The characters are very well-rounded and dynamic. Almost every character has a motivation for what and why they’re doing what they’re doing, which is something some villains lack in other stories. You find yourself hating the characters, but still enjoying the parts that they’re in because they are so realistic in their mannerisms and motivations.” anonymous

Her books help us deal with personal issues, and we also seem to enjoy how relatable or realistic the personal relationships between the characters are:

“I feel like her books help me a lot, for one thing because they make me feel excited and enthusiastic about something which I think everyone needs more of in their life. I also love the platonic and romantic relationships between the characters because they educate me about abusive relationships, healthy relationships, and the complications of friendships etc. I love this because I feel like it helps me understand myself and the people around me better emotionally, and puts my own personal experiences with other people in perspective. I also find a lot of the things that go down between the characters help me feel more secure about my personal life, and they help me accept myself for feeling the way I do about certain things. Also, I love just love reading them because I find them really fun and enjoyable.“ - @ashryverblue

“I enjoyed the way she wove my favorite fairy tales together and wrote compelling romance. I also connected to the characters and appreciated how she prioritized female pleasure in sex.“ - @sarahviehmann

“The representation of mentally ill and abused characters and their arcs that deals with their past and their issues that isnt “love fixes everything” -anonymous

“also like how they don’t have the common ‘no body likes me because I’m ugly I’m so sad boo ho’ because I never really related to those characters. I want to read about someone who is confident in their body and with their skills, and not someone who is whiny and needs someone to hold their hand through everything.” @a-book-love

“Feyre’s struggle with abuse and PTSD in ACOMAF was relatable and her growth is inspiring. I love her relationship with Rhys and the understanding and respect they have for one another. I love Rhys and his Inner Circle - they’re funny, kind, intelligent, strong, witty etc. I like that Rhys, Mor, Az, and Cassian are abuse survivors - it gives me hope. I love how supportive they are of one another. Of course, I love the magic and world-building in the series but the characters and their relationships are what stand out to me the most in this series.” @pencilsfulloflead

And some of us are here for the drama (myself included):

“Honestly these are the most dramatic books I’ve read, which I love. My favorite thing about fanfiction is how character focused they are, all the big sweeping emotional gestures, all the angst and drama. Give me all that shit. SJM’s books give me that but with original characters/a new world/etc. which allows me new content with those same tropey, dramatic things that I love, with good writing. “ anonymous

“GOD I WISH I KNEW, I HAVE ALWAYS CONSIDERED MYSELF BEING HELD IN THIS FANDOM AGAINST MY WILL AND BETTER JUDGEMENT. I guess I’d say the characters– while I wouldn’t call them “relatable” necessarily– are engaging, and the light fantasy trappings, digestible (though not refined) prose, fast pace, exciting-if-not-necessarily-logically-sound plot twists, and heightened drama create an exciting tableau/ fertile ground for indulgent romance narratives/ heavy interpersonal dramas, which SJM does well. There’s also lots of side characters/ unexplored plot or world-related threads prime for creative exploration that make the world fun to explore as a fic writer.“ @valamerys

“The books have an element of wonder to them; my jaw was wide open during the scene in HOF when all the witches drummed for Abraxos and during the Weaver scene in ACOMAF. Aelin never fails to make me laugh, and on the flip side, her story in HOF is my absolute favorite.” @screaming-at-billiards

And finally, this little snippet that I thought explained why most of us read for the female characters:

“that the women don’t need men to be powerful”


Dislike:

So we clearly have some issues with the diversity…

“Two black girls died for white pain (Dorian/Sorscha and Aelin/Nehemia) in back to back books.”

“I would like to see more POC and LGBT characters because I feel like with the powerful messages and arcs these characters go through it would be beneficial not only to the storyline (with experiences like racism and LGBT discrimination to add to their issues and how they deal with them) but to how people read the book.”

“She messed up big time with ACOWAR and how poorly she treated Mor’s trauma.”- anonymous

“I can’t think of a general thing I dislike about Sarah’s books. I know lack of/poorly handled diversity is an issue but as a straight white female I tend to let others speak on this as I don’t feel like it’s my place to say whether or not POC/LGBTQ+ characters are represented well/enough. Other than that there are plot points, conversations, small things, etc. that I wish had gone differently but that’s my nitpicking and personal preference.” anonymous
“Primarily it’s the lack of representation and understanding of diversity, but recently with acowar I felt she became too busy and it was a bit rushed and unfinished.” @fcyrearcherxn

“Eh I wish it [descriptions of skin color] was clearer so ppl would stop drawing illiryans white” @acourtoffeyreandaelin

And some of us have issues with world building…

“Sjm seems to think about a lot of things while writing, but she doesn’t think them all the way through. For example, the magic system, the references to mythological characters/creatures from multiple cultures and smashed together, etc. I get the sense that even if she has to outline for her publisher, there is still so much that just isn’t thought about with enough attention to detail.“ @abookandacoffee


How dislike affects our reading:

Some of us are not affected by the things we dislike:

“Not at all really, if anything it just fuels fanfiction.” anonymous

“Literally not at all. Even if there are things I dislike, I still love the characters and their stories.” anonymous

“they mildly irritate me until i get over it about 4 minutes later” anonymous

“not much tbh, I just skipped that shit lol” @squaddreamcourt

Some of us were disappointed by acowar and the world building issues it raised affected our enjoyment:

“It makes me cringe when I read it, and honestly all the issues in ACOWAR made it harder for me to get into. Some illogical (even with magic in place) things in the end battle made it impossible for me to focus on the end of the book, cause I still couldn’t get over how little sense what had just happened made. Which was the opposite of ACOMAF, I couldn’t get enough of that book.” - @nightinsurgent

Some of us are negatively affected by the way SJM has handled certain issues:

It [ Mor’s trauma in acowar] honestly ruined the entire book for me and I try to pretend like the third book isn’t even canon.” -anonymous

“Sometimes it can put a downer as I’m a POC I can sometime realise I can’t fully relate to all characters but usually i brush it off as I realise that all books have faults.”-anonymous

And some of us feel guilty for enjoying these books despite the issues:

“I have at times (particularly after major online discussions) felt guilty for taking pleasure from something that hurt another person’s feelings.“- anonymous 


How the fandom affects our enjoyment:

Some of us love the fandom and how it leads to deeper understandings of the story:

“I LOVE fandom. It makes me feel like I’m part of something and that I have people who are there for me. It also gives me new ways of obsessing about the series, and I love seeing other people’s interpretations and feelings about the books, especially when they point out things that I haven’t noticed before. It just gives me a deeper, richer reading experience and it’s like I’m always partly in the world of the books, because I’m always thinking about them and in that sense they never really leave me and are always a part of me.“ @ashryverblue

“WE RIDE AND DIE TOGETHER SO NOTHING IS TOO PAINFUL WHEN YOU HAVE EACH OTHER” -anonymous

For some of us, fandom really affects how we enjoy the books and how we think about certain aspects and characters:

“I’ve always been a critical reader but I wonder if I didn’t have a medium to see, read, and interact with my criticisms that I would let them go easier.”- anonymous

“I can mostly ignore it but sometimes it makes me feel shame for liking the books as much as I do. I also can get past it because I think some people are way to harsh and expect perfect characters which is not what I’m here for. Also, even if improvement in terms of representation is slow at least sjm has made some changes which is something most authors would never do.”-anonymous

“I get to see both sides of all the arguments and my own opinions are sometimes changed based on an argument someone might present considering any topic, which expands my horizons and makes it more enjoyable for me.” @angrydinosauryouth

“I don’t think I would care about Suriel’s death so much if it wasn’t for this fandom who made him a drama loving queen. Things like that” @jmaas-books-lover

We are disappointed with the fandom recently:

“At first I loved how we were all interacting, but the fandom has grown so negative and condemning of any differing opinions. I don’t mean people being called out others for saying abusive characters are not abusive, but people seem to go to war over inconsequential opinions that don’t harm anyone.” @nightinsurgent

“The ACOTAR fandom in particular used to be really lovely and amazing, and there are still groups with whom that is still true. Everyone let people think about and enjoy what they wanted as long as we weren’t perpetuating or justifying abuse, and it was a very supportive environment. It’s less so, now, and people are defending the text just to defend it, which is frustrating to me both as a fic writer AND a reader.” @sarahviehmann

“What gets at me is the clouds of negativity… And it seems really  hard to avoid sometimes, especially in such a small fandom. And when a few vocal members, who otherwise make good stuff, get very negative it gets worse…”

Some of us love the books despite what the fandom has to say:

“The fandom itself doesn’t affect my love of the books, I make my own opinions about them. But the fandom is severely affecting my enjoyment of being a part of the fandom.” @miladyaelin

Some of us enjoy parts of the fandom, but have serious issues with how the fandom reacts negatively to certain aspects of the books:

“Parts of the fandom really make me happy and allow me to discuss my thoughts and feelings about the books. There’s an amazing community of people. But there is a huge part of the fandom which really, really negatively affects my experience through heavy, harsh, and often unnecessary criticism. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t be critical and shouldn’t discuss the issues in her books, but there’s almost a frenzy about it now to the point where those of us who enjoy her books are made to feel bad about it. Yes, she has problems. But there has been significant improvements that no one seems to want to acknowledge. The second something new is released it’s torn into shreds and if you have a different opinion then you’re wrong. (For example, how Morrigan’s coming out was handled. Everyone has been saying how bad it was and how Sarah really messed it up, but I’m bisexual and I now really relate to Mor and the way she came out and her reasoning for not doing so before was incredibly real and believable to me. It seems that a lot of the people (though obviously not all) who criticise the lack of diversity in SJM’s books aren’t actually diverse themselves and are just on some sort of crusade to make themselves look like better people.) Why can’t some of us just enjoy a book for what it’s worth?” anonymous

if you don’t vibe well with your therapist from the first time you meet them … tryn find a new therapist. because uh … they’re suppose to help and if you just feel uncomfortable the whole time… its not going to be that beneficial honestly. some therapists can be fuck awful, and normally you can tell right away. 

i’ve had some bad therapists, and I wish I would have switched sooner, because i didn’t feel comfortable with them from the start.

Migraine Relief - Finn Balor

Pairing: Finn Balor x OC (Melody)

Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Warnings: Oral (Female receiving), fingering, squirting, NSFW gifs, unprotected sex

Plot: Melody wakes with a horrible migraine and Finn comes to take care of her, and he knows just the remedy that she needs.

Word Count: 3,054

NOTE: NSFW gifs (gifs not mine! Gifs used came from SMUT-101!)

Originally posted by finnfreezedemon

A small whimper escapes my lips the moment I sit up in bed. My head throbs, I can hear the blood pound in my ears, and the slightest movement makes me queasy. Yup, I just woke up to one hell of a migraine. Thankfully, I sleep with the room completely blacked out or else I might be in worse shape than I am right now. I hate waking up with a migraine, it ruins my day.

I pout slightly, ‘Well there go my plans for today.’

I think to myself and slowly get out of bed to get a bottle of water and take something for my head, though I doubt it will really work. As I crawl back into bed, I grab my phone to send a quick message canceling all plans for today,

‘Hey Finn, not going to be able to make it to the gym today. Woke up with a migraine. I’ll talk to you later’

Keep reading

Of course it’s okay to dislike a bully. Of course of course of course. No one’s saying you have to forgive Bakugou and what he did to Midoriya should never be brushed over or forgotten bc no matter how young he was and how many adults enabled him he’s still responsible for his own actions. Midoriya never ever has to forgive him for it and neither do we. 

HOWEVER. If you are saying that Bakugou should have no friends when his friends are helping him become a better person and have a mutually beneficial relationship with him. If you are saying he should be punished more when he has suffered the most trauma in the series from villains and we’ve seen the horrific effects on his mental health. If you are saying that the students in 1A are shit for still liking him even though he bullied Midoriya relentlessly when they don’t fucking know he did that. If you are saying that as a four year old he should have known better than to behave in a way he was praised and told he was amazing for.

You’re not getting it.

Let people redeem themselves. Let children and teens redeem themselves. Bakugou having a redemption arc isn’t the same as an abuser like Endeavour getting a redemption arc and showing abusers can change. It isn’t the same thing. 

Bullies can get redemption and it not diminish what they did or the effects of what they did. Bullies can become good people and it not erase that they were bullies and treated people terribly in the past. Bullies can have friends and become better and not be forgiven by their fucking victims. Okay? 

Wanting a 16 year old to be fucking tortured and beaten down even more than he already is in this series is just malicious. He won’t learn like that. He didn’t learn like that. He’s learning from the environment he’s in and from his new peers and teachers. Decade old habits ingrained in him for probably as long as he can remember aren’t gonna be broken in a day. That’s just how it is.

Criticising situations that are helping him change and improve (i.e. spending time with friends who he treats as equals and will call him out on shitty behaviour) only shows you don’t want him to learn and change rather than you worrying about the welfare of a character because they’re hanging out with…their friend. He wouldn’t have got to the point he is today with Midoriya without all the experiences he’s had at UA especially the time he’s spent with his classmates. He can and will become a decent person and as long as he does that at a relative distance to Midoriya I really don’t see the problem.

TL;DR: You can dislike Bakugou and not wish him into horrible situations that will prevent him from growing and becoming a better person.

anonymous asked:

Horikoshi already has two trans characters in his manga so i hope he'll pull through for us and make bakushima canon

It depends on what you mean by canon. I can easily see Hori not giving Bakugou a female love interest and leaving him and Kirishima together until the end. They may have a lot of intimate moments throughout the series, but the status of their relationship may be ambiguous or left up to interpretation. I’ve seen shounen do something like that. That kind of ending would make sense considering Bakugou is focused on becoming a hero and Kirishima is beneficial to his hero development. Their Quirks are compatible and Kirishima helps Bakugou grow as a hero. Why wouldn’t they be a good match as life partners (or romantic couples)? That’s what I’m predicting/hoping will happen. It makes sense given the development of their relationship.

anonymous asked:

for the lesbian anon with the guy to let down: hey!! technically it's best for him that you turn him down! accepting other people's boundries is good for him. so is moving on from a crush. everyone goes through it and it's not the end of the world. don't feel like you gotta feel bad for him. the healthiest thing for him to do is respect your boundaries. it's mutually beneficial. good luck!

^^

Let’s talk about Nightmare Hospital

Connie’s character has progressed a lot, and I think this might be the episode that shows it best at this time. When we first met her, she was lonely and unconfident. This has changed the more time she’s spent with Steven.

The friendship between Connie and Steven has been shown to be quite mutually beneficial. They seem to positively affect the others mental health, giving each other outlets they might not have otherwise. 

And now that Dr. Maheshwaran has officially given Connie permission to fight alongside Steven, I think it’s safe to say Connie is now a part of Steven’s Universe.

With wonderful visuals and music added to consideration, Nightmare Hospital gets a 9/10.

Sagittarius & Capricorn

‘’Love is like a mountain, hard to climb, but once you get to the top the view is beautiful’’

When these two form a relationship, they may at first think that they have nothing to talk about and cannot benefit from the other. Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, and Capricorn is ruled by Saturn. Jupiter is about higher learning, philosophy, expansion of knowledge and a good luck that sometimes leads to
excess. Saturn is the ruler of hard work, assiduousness, ambition, and responsibility. Their influences on each other can be quite beneficial and bring out the best aspects of one another. 

In many ways, these two are opposites: Sagittarius is free-flowing, driven by whim, seeking knowledge for its own sake, always jumping into new things, and they’re usually quite impatient. Capricorn is detail-oriented and quiet, even shy, always mindful of the next goal. The incongruity of Sagittarius and Capricorn can actually make their relationship more valuable in the long run since each can learn so much from the other. Early on, Sagittarius and Capricorn may see nothing in each other but their faults. Sagittarius may seem undisciplined, and Capricorn may seem pompous and dull. Once they stop learning about each other’s faults and begin focusing on their strengths, they’ll discover that they have much to offer one another. 

Sagittarius teaches Capricorn about enjoyment and adventure, about the freedom that is often missing in Capricorn’s life. Capricorn teaches Sagittarius patience and attention to detail, the knowledge that the little things are important, and helps them focus their erratic energy. Sagittarius may feel Capricorn is overly responsible, but they will teach their lover to take things less seriously. Capricorn may accuse Sagittarius of being ill-mannered and impulsive but can teach them to be polite and refined. Both Signs need to take the time to see the value of their lover’s approach; Sagittarius can teach Capricorn to be more spontaneous, at the same time gaining stability from Capricorn’s sensible take on life. 

Sagittarius is a Fire Sign, and Capricorn is an Earth Sign. Sagittarius initiates ideas from philosophical visualization, while Capricorn is more practical. Capricorn will think through the benefit of their activities, whereas Sagittarius loves to explore just for their own personal satisfaction. Although these two may have their difficulties that stem from their diverse ethics, when they do spend time together, their well-rounded, complementary approaches mean they’ll enjoy the escape each provides from their own identities. Sagittarius is a Mutable Sign, and Capricorn is a Cardinal Sign. Sagittarius doesn’t need to be the leader or motivating force; when they are given a good idea and a way to participate, they enjoy doing their part. Capricorn, on the other hand, is the one who comes up with the ideas and assigns roles. Their lack of conflict over roles in their relationship helps Sagittarius and Capricorn get things done with little argument. The best thing about the Sagittarius-Capricorn relationship is how much they end up teaching each other. Once they overcome their initial reluctance to their connection, this pair will realize that they have a lot to offer each other. Their personalities, different in so many ways, makes theirs a highly complementary relationship. 

How to help a regressor with anxiety

• Pay attention to your regressors feelings.

• Stay calm when your regressor becomes anxious about a situation or event.

• Give them confidence

• Recognize and praise their accomplishments even if they’re small.
(Sticker Reward charts are very good for this)

• Don’t down them because of lack of progress.

• Realize as much as you want to help the goal is to help your regressor with anxiety not eliminate it.

• Be flexible, but try to maintain a normal routine for them.
(Early bedtime is very beneficial)

• Find things that help them relax
(ex: slow breathing, teether’s, stuffies, squishes)

• When they are relaxed, give them a logical explanation of their anxiety.

ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇ sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪɴɢ

anonymous asked:

Temo di sentirmi attratto della ex di un mio caro amico. E se lei mi rifiutasse? Ho paura di rovinare i rapporti con lei e con l'ex. Che merda i sensi di colpa.

Purtroppo hai scritto alla persona sbagliata.
Ho un'etica nella vita, mi do delle regole in quello che faccio di solito.
Per esempio da sempre, ma davvero da sempre io ho messo l'amicizia su tutto, per amicizia intendo proprio amicizia seria.
Mai mi è successo di andare con fidanzati di amiche, nemmeno ex.
Non so, ma non credo mi sia mai successo il contrario.
Le pulsioni sessuali si controllano non siamo animali.
Adesso la questione è il tipo è tuo amico proprio che ci tieni alla sua amicizia? Per la sua ex effettivamente cosa provi? Attrazione? Sei sicuro che quello che provi vale il rischio?
Devi pensare a queste cose e capire bene se i costi son meno dei benefici.
Poi in ogni caso se questo ragazzo è così amico tuo come dici sarebbe molto onesto parlargliene, no? Se proprio non ti trattieni piuttosto che lanciarti e rovinare il rapporto con entrambi sii onesto e mettici la faccia.
Nella vita succede che ci si assume dei rischi e si lascino indietro persone, se quello che fai lo ritieni giusto per te e corretto nei confronti degli altri mettiti in gioco e vada come vada.
Ogni realtà è a se stante, fatti un esame di coscienza e muoviti di conseguenza.
Non esistono sensi di colpa, al massimo mancanza di rispetto, ma una volta bruciata un'amicizia ci fai pace, impari dall'esperienza e vai avanti.
Però l'analisi della situazione la puoi fare solo tu.

fierce-and-little  asked:

Hey everyone, Sin helped me out with my story for the June rp and it became so much better because of it so y'all should just go for it! No need to be scared haha it's nothing but beneficial to both parties in my opinion.

I can’t wait to do this rp!!! Lol Glad I could help :)

Is her form footless?

If she did have feet under the attachments, why wouldn’t she take off the second one when she lost the first one? Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to not be lopsided while moving and running from the Crystal Gems?

OMG. IF SHE’S FOOTLESS DOES THAT MEAN SHE’S HANDLESS TOO?

anonymous asked:

Don't let the elycia dream die down. We can do it. Keep rting and liking the tweet and don't forget to mention Eliza too! It's totally possible due to high demand.

Just make sure that you don’t get too pushy y’all. If we manage to spark interest in an action movie w Alycia that is still good. Ask without becoming demanding, that’s the key word here. All or nothing in this case might not be beneficial so ask politely but don’t get crazy with the requests spamming those accounts.

How to help a regressor with Anxiety

• Pay attention to your regressors feelings.

• Stay calm when your regressor becomes anxious about a situation or event.

• Give them confidence

• Recognize and praise their accomplishments even if they’re small.
(Sticker Reward charts are very good for this)

• Don’t down them because of lack of progress.

• Realize as much as you want to help the goal is to help your regressor with anxiety not eliminate it.

• Be flexible, but try to maintain a normal routine for them.
(Early bedtime is very beneficial)

• Find things that help them relax
(ex: slow breathing, teether’s, stuffies, squishes)

• When they are relaxed, give them a logical explanation of their anxiety.

ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇ sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪɴɢ

anonymous asked:

why are people so harsh

Because the world thinks that shoving harsh realities in someone’s face is beneficial to opening their eyes to certain things. When in reality it could result in retreating and suffering. Some people don’t realize how much it hurts those with soft hearts. They just don’t know

the idea of two aromantic platonic partners having a “convenience marriage” is like my favorite thing right now I’m both getting really excited and cracking up over the possibilities I mean just imagine:

  • “we got married because of tax benefits”
  • “we got married because it gave us an excuse to have sleepovers every night
  • “we got married because it seemed convenient to ‘pool our assets’ (aka our library is now twice as big, as is our collection of Disney movies)”
  • “we got married because it gave us an excuse to ask for toasters from people as wedding gifts”

Perhaps the greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain. Classic thinking teaches us of the four doors of the mind, which everyone moves through according to their need.

First is the door of sleep. Sleep offers us a retreat from the world and all its pain. Sleep marks passing time, giving us distance from the things that have hurt us. When a person is wounded they will often fall unconscious. Similarly, someone who hears traumatic news will often swoon or faint. This is the mind’s way of protecting itself from pain by stepping through the first door.

Second is the door of forgetting. Some wounds are too deep to heal, or too deep to heal quickly. In addition, many memories are simply painful, and there is no healing to be done. The saying ‘time heals all wounds’ is false. Time heals most wounds. The rest are hidden behind this door.

Third is the door of madness. There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind.

Last is the door of death. The final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told.