benedict smile

8

Ben & Sophie arrive at Wimbledon final, July 10 2016
(pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4)

From now on I want to narrate every Sherlock interview as if I'm Lemony Snicket

“If we pull this off, it’ll be television history!” Amanda said, gleefully. Amanda should not have said this, and she certainly should not have said it gleefully. What Amanda should’ve said instead is “This season includes a very talented actress who will surely impress you all.” However poor Amanda did not say this. And several months later she certainly regretted her mistake.

~

Sue’s eyes widened in shock. They did not widen in shock because Amanda had spoiled the plot of the show, or because Amanda had just hinted at what may happen in the upcoming season, but rather because Amanda had just told a massive, whopping, great big lie. And Sue was shocked.

~

“Love conquers all,” Benedict smiled sappily. Benedict did not, of course, mean “Sherlock’s romantic love of another person and their love of him conquers all their problems this season,” but rather, “In my opinion Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have been in love for over a century and I believe it is only right that they should be allowed to love each other and that I should kiss Martin.”

~

Steven hid his head in his hands. Steven did this because he thought Benedict was being cheesy and romantic, however it seemed to the audience like he did this because Ben had just give away a major point of the plot. Steven should be more careful about how his body language portrays his feelings.

~

Mark looked like he wanted to kill Benedict. This was not unusual, however. Mark always looked like he wanted to kill Benedict. And Steven. And everyone, in fact. Mark liked to think about murder.

~

“This is the best season yet,” Steven said. He was lying. I know he was lying because in reality it was filled with plot holes and glowing pictures and boys who eat out of dog bowls. But I’m not a rude person, so I left Steven to his ignorance.

~

“Who you really are, it doesn’t matter,” Mark typed. Mark should not have typed this. In fact, I wanted to hit Mark with a big stick and tell him ‘who you are REALLY matters’ but Mark would not have listened. Mark thinks he is smarter than me. He is clearly not. But who he is still matters.

~

“I’ll die if Johnlock doesn’t happen,” a TJLCer sobbed as she typed on her laptop. “RIP,” Mark replied. He did not do this to be funny. He did this because he can be a massive twat sometimes. This was one of those times. 


 ~ 


 "I don’t know, I don’t know, I’m just in it!” Martin squeaked. He was not trying to hide a secret, as many believed. Martin was just genuinely baffled by the new season. And by baffled I mean ‘had no idea what the plot was, what the point was, what his character was suppose to be doing and why he didn’t get to kiss Benedict.’