John Watson owns two watches. One is analogue, the band leather. The other is digital, a circle of metal around his wrist. He looks so impatient, remarkably bored and harried at once.  A careful observer would say he’s always checking the time.

A careful observer would be wrong. -(x)

So remember how yesterday I was saying I was uncomfortable reading explicit Bagginshield fic?

Reluctantabandon said maybe I just hadn’t found the good porn yet, and so I took that as a sort of challenge. I surfed through the AO3 tag and have spent a lot of my free time in the last 24 hours reading fics there. 

And after I read and enjoyed the second mature-rated fic, I finally realized what it was. The Tolkeinesque language that is used so well in fic in this fandom doesn’t really lend itself to sex scenes. It’s bizarrely jolting to go from something that reads like canon to Thorin saying, “I’m going to fuck you in your tight little arse.” Um, no. (My opinion, of course; I know that many people reading this would totally disagree, and that’s fine. YMMV, as with all things.)

But it turns out that there are people who can insert sex scenes in ways that are nearly seamless with the rhythm of canon, and I was thrilled to find them. Here are two recs.

Mad Season (1326 words) by chaosmanor
Rating: Mature
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Summary: “The mad season doesn’t happen often,” Bilbo said. “Not to me.”

Beneath the Moon (2122 words) by mercuriosity
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield 
Summary: “Ah, Bilbo,” said Thorin, fierce and low, “glad am I to find that what is in my heart is also in yours.”

And here are a few others I have to rec, though they don’t feature sexytimes.

Shield Me (8893 words) by bendingsignpost
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Summary: One moment at a time, they grow closer. (2012 movie Bagginshield, following the narrative of the book, spoilers for the book)

Larkspur Magic (5814 words) by littleblackdog
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Summary: A blocked path, a stray spell, and a hobbit with the most peculiar sort of luck. Bilbo knew, leaving the Shire, that hobbits certainly weren’t the tallest of folk in the big, wide world. But this is ridiculous.


From Jaime with Love: My Top 20 Teenlock (etc.) Fics

I know I’ve been part of the team for a while now, but it’s taken me this long to post my top 20 list, because I’m a very picky reader! I hope you guys enjoy these fics as much as I do!

  • These fics stuck with me due to their unique storyline, incredible writing style, overall fantastic characterisation, or they punched me right in the tear ducts.

  • If you can think of a fic that you think I would love based on this list, send it my way!

  • The fics on this list that don’t have reviews for them are likely reviewed and in the draft.
  • These are in no sort of order and are subject to change.
  1. On the Steadfast Approach of an Oncoming Darkness, by joolabee (review)

  2. He Gets That From Me, by CrayolaDinosaurs (review)

  3. Of Magic and Mystery, by Pugglemuggle (review)

  4. You Give Me Fever, by michi_the killer (review)

  5. Elegy for a Lost Boy, by what_alchemy (review)

  6. Heart on a String, by AngelSpirit (review)

  7. Cooperative Principal, by bendingsignpost (review)

  8. Where Do We Go but Nowhere, by joolabee (WIP)

  9. Us Against, by augustbird (review)

  10. How to Be Brave, by stillaseeker

  11. The Boys of Summer, by Mazarin221b (review)

  12. The Frost is All Over, by Chryse (review)

  13. Luminosity, by what_alchemy (review)

  14. Care of Magical Creatures, by stillaseeker

  15. Touchstone, by machshefa (review)

  16. Not an Advantage, by Jupiter_Ash

  17. Tremolo, by what_alchemy

  18. Practical Ethics for Beginners, by Persiflager (review)

  19. Fireflight, by augustbird

  20. Run the Gun and So Much More, by Culumacilinte (review)

*Titles are links to each fic*

anonymous asked:

Hey I just wanted to say that the anal sex story you posted was like really good, really well-written and I like your writing a lot, which is why I read it right off, but I have to say it kinda squicked me. I don't know, it was just sorta gross? like maybe butt-sex TMI?? I'm just not sure that's how anal sex really works though because I haven't seen people describe it that way and yeah now I'm scared I offended you, but I love your wriitng and just don't get why that squicked me k sorry bye.

You know what, nonny? This doesn’t bother me at all. I appreciate you being honest. Because you actually picked up on something I was trying to work on, which was being really explicit about anal sex. (You’re talking about this ficlet, yeah?)

That piece was pretty much an exercise in description, because I haven’t read many really detailed descriptions of how anal sex feels. The whole “complicated as kissing” part was trying to be particular and precise about how complex and varied the sensations can be. (I don’t know that I succeeded all that well, because, yeah, I was on drugs.) So often when people describe buttsex the most you get is stretching, burning, filling. But there’s so much more to those sensations. Man, all those bits are sensitive, and they all feel different things.

A while back there was a discussion about how m/m buttsex can be heterosexist if it comes to symbolize “full sex” or “actual sex” to readers. Bendingsignpost put it really well: “Dude, it’s incredibly heterosexist. The fandom arc of slash sexual progression goes: kiss, hand/oral, anal. Meaning that if you don’t get to the anal bit, you don’t complete the arc, and there’s a sense of the narrative being incomplete.” (Or as I put it,  the more something looks like reproductive hetsex, the more it seems like “real” sex.) I begin to wonder a bit if maybe some ficwriters like the idea of anal sex but not the reality of it, like what it symbolizes, so to speak, but not what it literally entails. We might focus on the ways penetration means possession, immersion, surrender, or pleasure, but not the way it actually feels to be penetrated.

I wonder—was it the “push” section that got to you? That by pushing out and bearing down the receptive partner can open up? I’ve never read in fic that particular fact about anal sex and how you make it work without pain. I think it’s important thing to understand, recommended by oh so many sex therapists and how-to manuals, but I don’t know that I’ve read it in a fic. (I’d love to be corrected on that if folks have examples.)  People might not want to describe it because, as Q indicates, it’s embarrassing, and makes the fear of shit explicit. But I think it also hints at a great truth of anal sex that people tend to gloss over, and certainly don’t describe: the pleasure of it is very much the same as the pleasure of—there’s no graceful way of saying it—having a bowel movement. (I have to say that even just typing that I feel embarrassed. Interesting.) (YMMV, of course.) But that’s why it can feel so damn good, because when that pleasure of defecation, so deep, so voluptuous and infantile and elemental, goes on and on? When it’s a pleasure coming in, not just going out? A pleasure not hidden away in one of life’s most private moments, but shared? God, it’s gorgeous. That’s why I like it so much, and that’s why I think it’s not directly linked to genital pleasure save through the prostate. (And I sometimes wish that it didn’t so often seem automatically orgasmic for the receiving partner in fic; I love seeing non-genital, non-orgasmic erotic pleasures too.) I wish I could find a better way to put it…funny, maybe I only did it in this ficlet because I was so stoned as I wrote.

So yes, nonny, I appreciate and understand what you’re saying. You’ve also made me reflect on an interesting dynamic in my own writing: when I write Bond and Q, I write much more literal and physically detailed descriptions, but when I write John and Sherlock, I go for the symbolic and abstract. Something about those spy boys makes me focus on the materiality of things, but the detectives are about mystery and emotion. So in the former my sex scenes tend to the literal physical detail, and in the latter to the figurative and decorative language. Interesting to see my different conceptions of the pairings show up so clearly in the writing style.

Sorry, enough navel-gazing. Or should I say butt-gazing? I rather prefer the latter…

Berlynn Wohl's Sherlock Seattle Report

Sherlock Seattle was so, so incredible. But you knew that.

Before I start with the fangirling, I would just like to let you guys know that if you would like to chat more about fanfic in general, or omegaverse, or my nuts-and-bolts approach to slash, or any of the other topics covered in panels I was on, my Ask box is always open. :)

Okay, so:

MadLori is a delightful person, has so much great advice, and is hilarious as well. And the whole weekend she kept telling me how much she loved my fics, which was massively thrilling. I wanted to say something back to her about her own work, but I figured she was probably tired of hearing people say what I would have said. (Which is: “After I read Alone on the Water, I flopped out of my chair and cried on the floor for an indeterminate period of time. Thank you for that.”)

Holy shit, abundantlyqueer is a force of nature. I only got to see one of her panels, unfortunately – mainly because I was on other panels at the same time. A couple times I looked at the audience and thought, “Wow, I anticipated that there’d be more people here for this.” And then I’d remember, “Oh yeah, AQ has a panel right now. Everyone’s over there with her.” But on Sunday afternoon I got her to talk to me about T.E. Lawrence for ninety seconds, so we’re square as far as I’m concerned. :D

I would like to propose that AQ start a podcast. I (and a million other people, I’m sure) could honestly listen to her talk for hours on any subject. “Today’s podcast is about the difference between Protestant Tea and Catholic Tea.” “Today I’ll be talking about Sean Bean’s face.” “The topic of today’s podcast is John and Sherlock touching dicks.” Like seriously, AQ, can’t you just record something every day in the car on your way to and from work and post it for us each night?

Makokitten is clever and funny and brilliant and just the daintiest thing under a bonnet.

OMG, the two Cecil Baldwins who spent the whole cosplay contest trying to kill each other!

Ben Signpost is so tiny and adorable, you can’t help but want to hug him. But watch out, because he’ll hug you, and good lord he is a rib-cracker.

Reapersun, I did not get a chance to see you! But a couple people told me that you were saying nice things about me while you were around, which just warmed my little black heart! You should have heard the audience reaction when I simply mentioned your name at the Fanfic panel.

Every panel I was on, I kind of felt like the Deadpool of Sherlock Seattle. Professorfangirl or Songlin or Lee Shackleford would school us all with something profound and compelling, and I would just be like, “Hey guys, who wants 372,844 pancakes?!”

Thank you to all you shy little darlings who approached me between panels and stood slightly behind me and to my left and patiently waited for me to stop flailing about whatever I was flailing about until I noticed you. You all said such lovely things and I felt like a rock star all weekend because of you.

Thank you to all the staff and volunteers. You guys paid – and some of you traveled hundreds of miles – to do things like check coats, hand out badges, and move tables around, so that attention whores like myself could just waltz in without a care in the world and party. I hope you all got to have as much fun as I did. :)

(Will add more later as I think of things.)

Cooperative Principle by bendingsignpost

Rating: Explicit   Word count: 56,005

Warnings: Dubcon, PTSD and panic attacks

As the newest instructor at St. Bart’s, John has been explicitly warned to never do Sherlock Holmes any favours. Too bad the sex is so good.

“What do you do besides the detecting and the consulting?”

“Recently? I’ve been seducing an ex-army doctor for the past month. It’s a rewarding pastime. I highly recommend it.”

John decides to take a moment and busy his mouth with his coffee. He swallows. “How rewarding, exactly?”

Sherlock’s mouth smiles and his eyes do as well, but the expressions are separate and don’t match in the slightest. Amusement and the need to fuck, and absolutely nothing in between. “Very.”

“And, um. Is it the pastime you’re recommending, or the doctor?”

“The pastime,” Sherlock answers without hesitation. “I’ve no intention of seeing it become competitive sport.”

John sips his coffee. “But if it were competitive sport?”

“I would win.”

(On AO3 and LJ)

So the other day bendingsignpost was saying he was going to need a map to start keeping track of the locations in Stranger at the Gate if he continued the universe, and I jumped on the chance to make one, cause I love making old-style maps.

If you haven’t read Stranger, go fix that immediately. You can read it on AO3 or LJ. It’s a Sherlock Vampire AU, and so bloody good, if you’ll pardon the pun. If you have read it, hopefully this map will help you envision the journey better :)

Podfic: Soothsayer

Title: Soothsayer
Author: bendingsignpost
Fandom: BBC Sherlock
Pairings: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, John Watson/Others
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warning: Major Character Death
Genre/Tags: Greek Mythology AU, Trojan War, Off screen character death
Length: 36:08

Summary: “They said you were a soothsayer, before the city was taken, except no one ever believed you,” the soldier says. “How does that work?” (Cassandra!lock AU)

MediaFire (mp3)

Pre/Post Music - One of the Brightest Stars - James Blunt (Unplugged)

Welcome to The Opera of Sherlock Holmes!

This is a group blog dedicated to the collaborative writing of Sherlock’s opera from bendingsignpost’s fanfic Bel Canto.

What’s Bel Canto?

Here’s Ben’s (the author’s) summary: “After years of waiting for wealthy patrons to faint, Dr John Watson discovers a far more interesting patient in the opera house basement. (AU through a Phantom of the Opera lens.)" 

It’s quite amazing (whether or not you ship Johnlock). Go read it now!

Basically, Sherlock writes an opera and John helps him do it. What we’re going to do is attempt to write the opera itself. Everybody is welcome to contribute, regardless of musical or compositional background!

What do I need to do to help with the actual composition of the opera?

First, read Bel Canto. Seriously, do it now.

Second, request to join the blog (send me your email address via ask) and go download Musescore. It’s a free music notation program that also has a website for users to share scores. We’re going to use this tumblr and the score-sharing website as platforms for collaboration.

After you have done both of those things, make an account on and join the musescore group Bel Canto Opera Project.

Then…we write some music! :D Alternatively, if you don’t want to use musescore, you can record yourself playing/singing/humming what you came up with and submitting it to the blog.

(Come on, people! I can’t do this all by myself….)

What do I need to do to help with non-compositional parts of the opera (the libretto)?

To help with the libretto, just follow and/or become a member of the blog. We need people to 1) write the dialogue in English (ie. what Ben has done for the confrontation scene between the soldier and the captain towards the end of ch 3 of Bel Canto), and 2) translate the dialogue into Italian.

Why contribute?

Because where else is Sherlock Holmes a composer of opera? Also, keeping classical music alive, and with the Sherlock fandom, no less. (And for you music majors out there, composition practice.)

Current project: Overture and Act 2 scene 2


Do you have a story you’d like to workshop with other fandom writers, or do you want to see what others’ writing process is like? This year at Sherlock Seattle we will be holding four small-group workshop sessions led by at least one of our guest panelist writers - Liz Eckhart, Ben Signpost, Songlin, and Lori Summers. Participants will share in-progress stories and have an opportunity to give and receive feedback on their own writing.

Participation is limited to the first twenty respondents and there is currently still plenty of room! If you are interested in participating, please email Songlin at by October 1st to reserve your spot!


Podfic: Just Browsing

Title: Just Browsing
Author: bendingsignpost
Fandom: BBC Sherlock
Pairing: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Rating: Explicit
Genre/Tags: Bookstore AU, Stranger Sex
Length: 34:24


“I’m a good kisser,” John says.

Another eye roll. “Everyone thinks that.”

“Everyone? Blimey, someone’s been kissing and telling. Had no idea I was so famous.”

MediaFire (mp3)

Pre/Post Music - Counting Stars (piano cover) - OneRepublic