bend-and-snap

OUT OF CONTEXT:  A playlist to play out in public loudly without headphones or to use to introduce your friend to musical theatre. All the songs in the playlist make zero to little sense without context.

Dogfight - Dogfight Off Broadway, Blue - Heathers the Musical, I Love You Like a Table - Waitress the Musical, Joseph Smith American Moses - The Book of Mormon, Over the Moon - Rent, Black Death - Something Rotten, Bend and Snap - Legally Blonde the Musical, If We Get Married - American Psycho the Musical, Vanilla Ice Cream - She Loves Me, Changing My Major - Fun Home, La Vie Boheme - Rent, Hell No! - The Color Purple, The Bitch of Living - Spring Awakening, The Internet is for Porn - Avenue Q, Shiksa Goddess - The Last Five Years, Poison in My Pocket - A Gentleman’s Guide, Something Rotten!/Make an Omelette - Something Rotten, Balaga - Great Comet of 1812, Spooky Mormon Hell Dream - Book of Mormon, Sweet Transvestite - Rocky Horror, Epiphany - Sweeney Todd, Never Ever Getting Rid of Me - Waitress the Musical, A Summer in Ohio - The Last Five Years, Die Vampire Die - Title of Show, Poor, Unsuccessful, and Fat - A New Brain

LISTEN HERE

Legally Blonde the Musical ft. accurate song titles
  • Omigod You Guys: COURTNEY, TAKE YOUR BREAK(also Margot can speak to dogs wtf)
  • Serious: Plot twist, Warner is a dick
  • What You Want: Who needs a personal essay when you have the ENTIRETY OF UCLA
  • The Harvard Variations: share a BIT about ourselves
  • Blood in the Water: let's make no one want law career
  • Positive: either fight her or shake your ass
  • Ireland: pure sweet Paulette
  • Ireland (Reprise): pure sweet Paulette doesn't know where this metaphor is going.
  • Serious (Reprise): Warner is a dick pt.2
  • Chip on my Shoulder: Why go home for christmas when you can STUDY!!!!!
  • So Much Better: a good job > a dick + that one note no one can do
  • Whipped Into Shape: work out, protect yourselves and HOW DOES SHE SKIP AND SING AT THE SAME TIME
  • Take it Like a Man: pure bean turns into hot bean
  • Bend and Snap: picking up objects... sexy edition
  • There, Right There!/Gay or European: P R I D E
  • Legally Blonde: creepy professor ruins life
  • Legally Blonde (Remix): Redeemed bitch saves life + IRISH DANCING
  • Find My Way: everythings okay and destroyed gender roles

rebelwithheartofgold  asked:

His bowlegs are the best legs

fun fact: jensen’s knees actually have a restriction order against each other and that’s why they can’t ever be in the same county together

i mean look at that, you could fit the entire damn state of texas in there

they make such a perfect bow, like do u ever just wanna *clenches fists*

the most texasest texan to ever come outta texas with them texas bowlegs y’all

[x] like,,,no wonder it’s such a defining factor about him that everyone uses to describe him bc!!!! dAMN BOI HOW THEM LEGS BEND LIKE THAT 👀 👀 👀  they’re gonna snap right in half one of these days, i swear

okay but my absolute favorite fucking thing tho??? when those beauties are oN DISPLAY Y’ALL. WHEN U CAN SEE HIS BEAUTIFUL CALVES AND NICE-ASS KNEES AND DAINTY ANKLES AND BLONDE LIL LEG HAIRS IN ALL THEIR NAKED BEAUTY *jenna marbles voice* heyll yeah

anonymous asked:

your neighbor aus are so cute!! can you do jun, jeonghan, and hansol please??

aww thank you!! sure, ill also add in dino to complete the neighbor!17 series ~

joshua, mingyu & seungkwan can be found (here) ~
wonwoo, hoshi & seungcheol can be found (here) ~
seokmin, woozi & minghao can be found (here) !~ 

Jun

  • you’re pretty sure you saw him in a movie once, but you’re not a hundred percent sure. everyone in the building is sure they’ve seen him on tv,,,,but was it a movie? a commercial? a show? no one ever truly finds out,,,,,
  • sometimes every1 is like “he looks too rich to be living here”
  • but tbh jun loves the attention like he won’t admit it outloud but please,,,,,,,he probably poses in the elevator ever so subtly and everyone is like oh my look at how handsome and in jun’s head he’s like ‘mhm this is my angle take it all in, i look great from a 45 degree tilt to the left’
  • jun is doing the most basically 
  • model walks in his plaid pajama bottoms and flip flops, bends and snaps when he throws out the garbage. you will nEVER catch him off guard
  • his apartment is pretty cool though because jun is the type to splurge. so like big TV,,,expensive blankets,,,,,,,probably one of those glass coffee tables that are super fancy and jun doesn’t even know he has expensive tastes it’s just like second nature to him 
  • oh and he has mirrors
  • like a lot of them
  • when will any of us reach this level of Self Confidence t b h
  • and you’re like pretty familiar with jun because photography is your hobby and he’s always asking you if you guys bump into each other if you can ever help him take some headshots since he wants to try out for modeling
  • like you always agree but halfheartedly because you’re not sure if you want to work with someone,,,,,,,,,,as high maintenance as he seems
  • but one day you get caught by jun coming back from the park where you took some photos and he’s like are you free now??? and you’re like mIGht as well get it over with,,,,,,,,,
  • so you tell him yes and that he should come over since you have some lighting equipment @ your place
  • and jun,,,,you notice as you’re setting up is a little fidgety. like he keeps looking at his reflection in his phone and biting back his lip and you’re like ???? i thought he was like super confident about his looks but he seems,,,,nervous 
  • and you’re like “are you ok?” and jun snaps out of it and desperately seems to try and hide his feelings with a sly looking grin and he’s like “of course~!”
  • and you ask him to sit and face forward and,,,,,he does but then he like tilts his head a bit and you’re like “i need you to look straight if you want me to get a good shot” and he’s like oh! sorry
  • and he does it but you can see his eyes flashing worry and you’re like “,,,,hey are you really ok?”
  • and jun laughs, again obviously hiding what he’s really feeling and he’s like “fine! i just don’t think i look too great if you see all of my face like this”
  • and you damn near drop your camera because what the HELL is he talking about and you even say it, like literally, you’re like what the hell are you talking about
  • and jun scratches the back of his neck and tries to wave it off but he’s like “i look the worst from the front, my angle and profile is way be-”
  • and you’re like picking your camera back up and you’re like “you look like a handsome actor up front, don’t even say something like that.” and jun looks at the lense and you snap a couple of photos then go over to show him 
  • and you’re like “look at your jaw, and your skin??? it’s a gorgeous color, softly tan,,,,and your eyes are so strong and distinctive?? your nose is like the perfect size! you don’t even need touch ups - you’re naturally stunning.”
  • and you don’t notice it but jun is looking up at you and his smile turns into a bit of a smirk and he’s like “you think im stunning?” 
  • and you’re like yes!! and his smirk gets bigger and he’s like “i think you’re pretty stunning too-”
  • and you’re like me???? what- but then you catch the smirk from the corner of your eye and you like playfully push his shoulder and tell him not tease
  • but jun shrugs and he’s like “what, it’s true. you’re very nice to look at too.”
  • and you brush it off, hiding your face behind your camera as you get ready to take more photos of him
  • but you know,,,,,,turns out he isn’t all that high maintenance,,,,,,,tbh he listens really well to you and you get a lot of shots
  • and as you’re both looking at them you feel jun’s hand sneak around your shoulder,,,,his body closer to yours but like,,,,,,,you don’t mind,,,,,,,i mean,,,,,,,,,,,,,who would mind lbr
  • jun insists that he should pay you back for taking his photo and you’re like it’s fine and then he’s like ‘ok, then let me just take you out on a date because i really really want to.’ and you’re like DONT joke about that but jun’s like im not joking????? let’s go on a date??? gorgeous people need to stick together you know~~~~

Jeonghan

  • the neighbors call him ‘the perfect son-in-law’
  • because they want all their daughters to get married to him because he seems like the perfect man: good looks, good manners, good brains like WOW the whole damn package
  • and jeonghan is always so humble and modest about the nickname he’s like “marriage? oh im not ready” or “im nothing compared to your daughter”
  • (but in reality he’s just like lol please leave me alone i want to go home and take a nap. he’s just,,,,not saying that because that would be rude LOL)
  • he’s always really soft looking. like he never leaves the house with bed head, owns many warm looking sweaters, always reading some classic literature and seemingly listening to au clair de la lune 
  • just a real live fairy human,,,,angel,,,,,,,glowing force of beauty?
  • and his apartment is the same. like fight me on this but jeonghan would have some dried flowers hanging on his walls, paintings by like monet, a fuzzy white carpet, and like vintage looking furniture you’d feel like you were in a story book
  • and he like even set up a little corner of his apartment with a drawing easel,,,,,,,,like im talking instagram level aesthetic here
  • collects like ,,,, idk,,,,,,, little glass statues or something like bare with me it’s just so pretty because he’s so pretty
  • and you know him (how could you not) because every time you two leave at the same time he smiles kindly at you and you’re just like wow. this day? blessed
  • but one day you’re coming home and you’re in the wORST mood because of work/school plus you got soaked in the rain since your bus came late and you get into the elevator with jeonghan who smiles at you but you can’t even bring yourself to feel the usual happiness you do when he does that
  • and the elevator ride is slow up but then suddenly you feel something warm on your wet shirt
  • and it’s jeonghan putting his cardigan around your shoulders and he’s like “you can catch a cold walking around like that.”
  • and like holy shit an angel just touched you but also you’re like ,,,,, i,,,,,,i can’t take this from you
  • but jeonghan is like don’t worry, also make some tea when you get inside.
  • and you both split ways when the elevator door opens and you’re inside your apartment looking down at the cardigan in your hands and you’re like ?!?!?!?!?! what,,,,just,,,,,,happened
  • and the next morning you plan to return it but before you do you close the door and see a note stuck to the front and it reads ‘keep the cardigan. i hope you don’t get sick.’ and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,, am i dreaming
  • but you hear another door unlock and you look over to see jeonghan again and you have no clue what to say because the most beautiful person on earth is being so sweet to you
  • and he smiles again when he meets your gaze and he’s like “glad you’re not sick” and you’re like “um,,,,thank,,,thank you for worrying about me?” and jeonghan shrugs and he’s like 
  • “ive always worried about you, you come home looking tired and i hope you’re not overdoing it.” and you can’t help but want to like d i e because,,,,w h a t,,,, he’s been worrying about you???? what kind of romance movie plot,,,,,
  • but then jeonghan leans a little closer and he’s like “if you feel sick, knock on my door. i have some medicine and ginger my mother sent over.” and you’re like ,,,,o,,,,,okay,,,,,,,
  • and jeonghan touches your cheek softly and heads for the stairs 
  • and you’re like am i imagining things or is,,,, ‘the perfect son in-law’ interested in me,,,,,,,
  • but no you’re not imagining things because jeonghan stops midway down the stairs and is like leaning against the wall because he’s happy you’re not sick but gOD he really just invited you over,,,,,,to his house,,,,the neighbor he’s liked for so long,,,,,,,,,,,,

Vernon

  • tries to act cool and independent but always has to call over someone to kill any bugs he finds in his house
  • he’s got really bad luck because while he tries to look aloof and grown up he ends up tripping over things or walking into walls or getting himself stuck between the elevator doors and ,,,,,,,,, everyone in the building is like “he’s such a cute kid!” and vernon is like im NOT a kid,,,,,,,,,,,
  • but c’mon he once screamed because he thought the shadow of the neighborhood cat was a ghost
  • but this unconscious dorkiness is what makes him so lovable and everyone’s always asking him to say something in english and vernon is like “good morning” and everyone’s like WOW SKILL TALENT
  • the type to ride a scooter everywhere,,,,,,,,seungcheol passes by on his bike and is like ??? and vernon is like “scooters are the new Aesthetic”
  • has one of those cool beds that’s like a bunkbed but the top is the bed and the bottom is a desk area 
  • and he’s bought a lot of composing equipment and he has a collection of headphones and other cool things that pertain to music all around his apartment
  • and it isn’t that messy, but it’s all in dark tones like his little sister visits and always insists that vernon change his bed sheets from grey to like yellow and vernon is like ‘im a cool guy, cool guys don’t have yellow sheets’ and his sister is like uh huh ok
  • you actually don’t know vernon that well, but you know his sister because you work part-time at a grocery around the block from your building and when she visits vernon she always stops by to get food and complain a bit about how brother n EVER eats actual meals
  • and you think she’s the most adorable girl on this side of the planet so you always sneak in free ice-cream or candy for her 
  • and as you’re getting home from your shift one day, the elevator opens and there’s vernon and his sister and once she sees you she’s like !!!!!!! and drags vernon over to you and she’s like 
  • “i didn’t know you lived here too!!! this is the brother im always talking about, are you guys friends???” and you and vernon are both embarrassingly like not really,,,
  • and his sister pouts and she’s like “when im not around, can you take care of him for me? im worried he’s not getting enough sun and -”
  • and vernon coughs because sOFIA you’re embarrassing,,,,,me,,,,,
  • but you’re like “ok, i will!! good neighbors take care of each other ^^”
  • and vernon kind of tries hard to keep from turning pink when you ask if that’s ok with him and he’s like ,,,,,, sure anything to calm down my sister
  • and it’s funny because sofia is looking between you and vernon and she’s like 
  • “you’d look cute together you know, my brother is single-”
  • and vernon is like OOOO KA ay,,,,,,time to go nice talking to you neighbor bye bye
  • and you watch as he like dashes off and he’s like c’mon sofia but she stays back a bit and leans over like 
  • “i think he’s shy,,,,,he’s like that. but it’s a good sign, i think he’s interested too~~”
  • and you’re like oh my,,,,,,,
  • but also can you believe sofia. the real matchmaker mvp 

Dino 

  • get mistaken for someone who doesn’t live alone, but who still lives with their parents because what???? you can afford to pay rent on your own?????
  • but tbh he’s quite independent, and a quick learner like ask any of the other seventeen neighbors who self taught themselves to make chicken tenders from scratch??? no one. except dino who learned from the nice grandma down the hall
  • sometimes gets in trouble for playing music too loud but he’s too cute for any1 to stay mad at for 2 long
  • can be spotted playing tag with the younger kids if their parents have to go get groceries or something, he gets a side job as a babysitter sometimes because kids love him???? he’s so good with them because he has so much energy??
  • his own apartment is a lot like him, it’s colorful and the most important thing is his speakers that are the only thing he keeps relatively clean. his desk is littered with clothes and notebooks and candy wrappers from late night snacks
  • has photos of his parents performances up on his wall and in his closet he has it separated into : dance costumes and normal clothes 
  • all his refrigerator magnets are in the shape of dinos,,,how cute
  • he practices dancing by himself late into the night so a lot of the time he ends up getting hungry and ordering pizza on a whim and,,,,,one day he gets a pizza but it’s like???? an extra large size because the orders got screwed up and dino is like: i cannot. finish this
  • and he considers calling vacuum cleaner hyung (minghao + mingyu) but it’s late so instead he’s like “maybe the neighbor will want some!!!”
  • that neighbor is you,,,,,he’s also up doing some late night work and when you hear the doorbell you’re like ?????? it’s 1 in the morning,,,,,is it a robber??? and you grab a nearby pot just in case but when you open the door slowly
  • you just see dino,,,,,with his kindhearted smile and a plate stacked with??? pizza slices
  • and he’s like “i don’t know if you like pizza, but i have a lot left over and i thought if you were awake you’d like some !!!” and he grins and puts out the plate and you’re like ???? but also,,,,,,,,pizza for FREE,,,,,,,yum yum
  • and you gladly accept and dino is like happy because he’s made you happy and for a second you two stand there a bit awkwardly and you’re like “do you want to come in?” and dino is like “well,,,,it’s late but we never properly introduced ourselves as neighbors so??”
  • and you’re like it’s fine come in sorry for the mess and you go over to your kitchen, dino following behind and you’re like “so why are you up at this ungodly hour?” and dino is like “im practicing!! i dance~” and you’re like OOOO show me 
  • and dino clears your sofa a bit and starts busting out all these cool moves and you’re eating pizza and clapping and you’re like encore!!! as a silly joke but he really does start doing another routine
  • and you’re like holy hell i never knew i lived next door to such a talented person!! 
  • and dino blushes red and he’s like “im still practicing, it’s just a hobby for now,,,,” but you’re like “seriously, you could be a PRO, you should try becoming an idol?”
  • and dino is like wHA,,,, i could NEVER and you’re like “you’d do great!! you’re a nice person, you dance well, and you’re cute!” and the word cute just makes dino scrunch up his nose,,,,,but he likes it and he’s like 
  • “maybe ill look around for some auditions!!” and you set down the pizza to give him a thumbs up and you’re like “once you become an idol, ill be your number one fan - i promise~” and dino is like alsfgkfsdkh don’t say that that’s so cheesy
  • but you’re like “you know what’s really cheesy? this FREE PIZZA”
  • dino: “good pun!!!!!!!!!!!”
  • you: “i know right!!!!!!”
  • you’re both laughing so damn hard you accidentally wake the other neighbors LOL 

°• ♢ ———— LEGALLY BLONDE SENTENCE STARTERS.

’ The rules of hair care are simple and finite. ’
’ Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. ’
’ Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands/wives, they just don’t. ’
’ Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed. ’
’ There’s nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy’s plastic. ’
’ My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your… ’
’ I don’t need back-ups. I’m going to Harvard. ’
’ Well then, you’ll need excellent recommendations from your professors. ’
’ Trust me, I can handle anything. ’
’ Why are you going to throw that all away? ’
’ Oh, sweetheart, you don’t need law school. ’
’ I’m going to get the love of my life back. ’
’ I just liked to watch him/her change the filter. ’
’ Did you see him/her? He’s/she’s probably still scratching his/her head. ’
’ I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life. ’
’ I can’t believe you just called me a butthead.  ’
’ I don’t think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade. ’
’ Why didn’t you call me? ’
’ Uh. I’m sorry. I just hallucinated. ’
’ Excuse me. ’
’ I’m sorry? ’
’ You got into Harvard Law? ’
’ What? Like it’s hard? ’
’ Pooh bear, just get in the car. ’
’ You’re gonna ruin your shoes. ’
’ Sorry for what? ’
’ Well this is so much better than that! ’
’ Excuse me, I have some shopping to do. ’
’ So, when did you wanna go out? ’
’ We spent a beautiful night together and I haven’t heard from you since. ’
’ Well, forget it. I’ve spent too much time crying over you. ’
’ Because I’m not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I’m white trash? ’
’ You’re breaking up with me because I’m too… blonde? ’
’ I’m a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass. ’
’ Well, no. That’s not entirely true… ’
’ Then what? My boobs are too big? ’
’ So what’s a girl/boy to do? ’
’ What? Practically deformed? ’
’ This is what I need to become. ’
’ Don’t stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey. ’
’ I got up. Got a latte. Went to the gym. Got a perm and came home. ’
’ We all tried to talk her out of it. Curls weren’t a good look for her.  ’
’ Objection, why is this relevant? ’
’ I have a point, I promise. ’
’ I suspect you weren’t because your curls are still intact. ’
’ How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age? ’
’ If you’re going to let one stupid prick ruin your life… you’re not the girl I thought you were. ’
’ Oh, my God, the bend and snap works every time! ’
’ All those opposed to chafing, please say “Aye”. ’
’ How was your first class? ’
’ All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs. ’
’ So, if you don’t know an answer they’re just gonna kick you out. ’
’ Hey, well, don’t you look like a walking felony. ’
’ There’s like a judge and everything… and jury people. ’
’ Is that the only interaction you two have ever had? ’
’ No! Sometimes I say “okay” instead of “fine.” ’
’ Excuse me, I’m sorry… are you here to see me? ’
’ I promised her, and I can’t break the bonds of sisterhood. ’
’ This is a murder investigation! Not some scandal at the sorority house! ’
’ Geez! Could I be any more goddamn spastic? ’
’ Are you one of my lawyers? ’
’ You’ve just won your case. ’
’ Well thank God one of you has a brain. ’
’ If anyone found out about this, I would be ruined! ’
’ I would rather go to jail than to lose my reputation! ’
’ Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. ’
’ No more boring suits or pantyhose, I’m trying to be somebody I’m not. ’
’ I think it gives it a little something extra, don’t you think? ’
’ I know, I thought that was very… classy of you. ’
’ This is gonna be just like senior year, except for funner! ’
’ I’m never going to be good enough for you, am I? ’

Gangsey Booty Rankings: Biggest to Smallest

1. Blue. Dog walks all the time and if you’ve ever walked a dog who did not know how to walk on a leash and was way too excited to be getting walked at all, you would know 90% of the walk is spent working out your ass by leaning back, bending your legs, and basically squatting. Boom. Biggest booty.

2. Gansey: Very close second. Has an admirably toned booty because of his past rowing life that never disappapated because he is carved like a goddamned statue. When people compliment his ass, his immediate response is, “If you think my ass is great, you should see my girfriend’s.”

3. Ronan: Would have been tied for 3rd with Henry but beat him out based on Divine Catholic Godly Booty Intervention where God Himself blessed Ronan with just a little extra in the booty department.

4. Henry: Does squats every single day to Lady Gaga songs probably. Knows how to work the booty. Gives the impression of having the biggest booty in the gang solely based off the fact that he knows how to bend and snap, pop lock and drop. 

5. Noah: Tiny skateboard butt. Skinny jeans are always sagging to reveal his boxers. His teeny butt works to his aesthetic advantage so it’s never an issue. Also doesn’t hold him back from pulling sick tricks bro. 

6. Adam: Pathetic butt. Even more pathetic that he has to bend over a ton as a mechanic and there’s just. nothing. there. Absolutely tragic. Even more tragic is the fact that Ronan is constantly checking out his nonexistent butt. Guess when you love someone your eyes will just make shit up idk.

(Shoutout to everyone in #shitcourse for their assistance with this)

I ask him if he can do Elle’s signature move. “Bend and snap? Yeah, right!” he replies, beaming.
—  he bend…. and he snap yall