bend until i break

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Only a Memory - Icon for Hire

Trigger Warnings: Physical Abuse, Revenge

Genre: Rock

Lyrics:

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They said that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but all my thoughts seem to wander back to wondering about you. I guess the truth is I’d kill every single step of the way just to get back to you. Missing you starts to bend my heart until breaking is the only thing keeping me alive. I guess I’m just a little lost without you. This distance is hauntingly daunting.
—  Ldr
Loki's Slut

By: icybluepenguin

A/N: I haven’t written a Loki piece in a while, but this one HAD to be Loki.  Sorry for the generic title, I’m terrible at titles.  It’s not inspired by any particular confession, but by the theme of the Dom/sex slave ones.  This is pure, filthy porn with Avengers!Loki, an egotistical, posturing, maniacal, very rough lover.  Absolutely no plot whatsoever.

Contains:  Dom/sub themes, dubious consent, no safeword, bondage, magic, rough oral sex, rough vaginal sex, rough anal sex, anal fingering, pussy spanking, dirty talk, forced orgasm, humiliation, objectification, name calling, dirty talk (so much dirty talk!), PWP

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Well my mama she once told me set your sights and set them high
Cause in the morning you may need them if you’re feeling high and dry
And while your demons they may follow, let your shadows sleep tonight
And in the comfort of the setting sun don’t hesitate to try and get

Carried away, carried away now
Lets get carried away, carried away now oh
All your morning ghosts are waiting just to keep your fears at bay
Lets get carried away, carried away now

And I often find my comforts when I’m hurting for the line
That will separate this moment from a broken state of mind
And the hell that I’ve been living day and night
I will bend the bars and break the locks until I feel alive

Carried away, carried away now
Lets get carried away, carried away now oh
All your morning ghosts are waiting just to keep your fears at bay
Lets get carried away, carried away now

know what’s beautiful about tumblr? some time last semester i was studying so hard and for so long (probably on the level of more than 12 hours) that i started to feel nauseous. i wrote a kinda funny text post about it to take a short break. within minutes, one of my followers (and friends IRL) had commented encouraging me to take care of myself and saying it wasn’t worth hurting myself over. 

a day or so ago, i saw the same exact thing happen - someone posted a kinda joke-y post about studying so hard they were hallucinating, and a follower immediately commented reminding the person to take care of themselves. it was nice to see. 

thank you, tumblrverse, for reminding me not to bend until i break. 

Tear You Apart
SNARL
Tear You Apart


wash the fucking stain from your mistakes 
got plenty of time, but none to waste 
peel the whole mask off of your fucking face 

watch me lose control 

Say you’re true but you’re fucking fake 
how much more can I fucking take 
will I bend the knee, suffer what you make 
walk over my back until I break 
been some time now 
here without you 
I haven’t broke yet I never hope to 
you’ve got no sight, no fucking clue 
its not what you say, its what you fucking do 

Fucking rip you apart 

Limb by limb I wanna tear you apart 
Limb by limb but don’t know where to fucking start

youngbloodbuzz  asked:

let's talk about papa king arendelle. how much do you think the guilt ate at him for not being to help elsa more than he could? how many hours do you think he spent in the library reading that ancient nordic book surrounding the magic of the trolls and anything else he could get his hands on? did he look back at the lineage of his and momma's ancestors for answers? do you think he had faith in elsa's control and lose it slowly over the years before his death? what about momma?W HATABOUTEVEYRHTHG

Oh, man. EXCELLENT QUESTIONS.

The thing about Frozen is that it’s all about turning expectations on their head and subverting tropes. Elsa, the Snow Queen is kind and protective; Hans, the Prince Charming, is a manipulative abuser. An act of true love is not a romantic kiss, but a sword sacrifice.

And in that backdrop, you’ve got Papa King Arendelle.

The King, whose first lines are “Elsa, what have you done? This is getting out of hand.”

We expect a Triton. We expect punishments, and we expect cruelty and misunderstanding. But that’s not what happens. When they rush off to the trolls, Elsa gets to come, too–it’s not just about saving Anna, it’s about saving Elsa from herself.

And here’s where I love Jennifer Lee SO MUCH, because look at how elegantly this is portrayed in the script:

Down below, the King holds a frightened Elsa. The Queen holds the still unconscious Anna.

KING
Please, help. My daughter!

Look at that fabulous marvel of punctuation vagueness. It’s not “Please help my daughter,” re: Anna. But it’s also not “Please, help. My daughter is dangerous,” re: Elsa. Instead it is neither. It is both. Both of his girls need saving, tonight.

Then, of course, we have the great miscommunication of the film: Grand Pabbie says that fear will be Elsa’s enemy, and the King responds–while holding Elsa to him–“No. We’ll protect her. She can learn to control it. I’m sure.”

It her fear, or it her powers? 

Elsa doesn’t know, so we don’t know, and the whole thing spirals out of control. Grand Pabbie meant one thing; the King heard the other.

I don’t think Papa Arendelle ever lost faith in Elsa’s control over time, I think Elsa did. The gloves were his idea, yes, but “Don’t touch me?” That was all Elsa’s doing. He created the environment in which that became the only thing she could learn about herself, but y'know. It’s the old saw. Draw a monster. Why is it a monster? (“So that’s one story: if you’re trapped in God’s prison with the Devil, and the Devil wants out, who’s really the bad guy? Ask Milton.” Sorry. I swore I wouldn’t do that.)

Which is all to say that in the original version of this film, or in one of the original versions, anyway, the gloves were shackles. Metaphorically speaking. Anna bringing them up the mountain and presenting them to Elsa as a solution was as good as hitching a cage to Sven’s sleigh and asking Elsa to climb inside. She resented them. She had a whole song about it, very angry, lots of flash.

In the version we see, she chooses the gloves, and it redeems her. It redeems the King, as well.

-BEHIND THE DOOR — DAY. Elsa sits at the window looking out, longingly. Suddenly, her icy hands freeze the windowsill.
-LATER. The King slips leather gloves onto Elsa’s hands.

KING
The gloves will help.

He pats her gloved hand.

KING (CONT’D)
See? You’re good….
(starting their mantra)
Conceal it.

YOUNG ELSA
Don’t feel it.

YOUNG ELSA & KING
Don’t let it show.

So much of this movie is about what we do with what’s given to us. Hans is ignored for two years and he becomes spiteful and bitter; he can’t overcome that, and he chooses to perpetuate a cycle of abuse. Elsa gets told that everything’s her fault once and bears the burden of responsibility every day from then on, no matter what. Anna bends and bends and bends until she breaks. Until she says “I can’t live like this anymore.”

And Elsa’s response? “Then leave.”

The point of the journey is to realize you’ve always been on it. It’s never a zero-sum game; you can always choose to move laterally. It’s learning to see that if Anna can’t live like this anymore, she can live somehow else. It doesn’t have to be elsewhere. Papa King Arendelle had two daughters to save that night, and he did his best to rescue them both with the tools he had. We don’t know how he discovered the trolls or their magic; we don’t know what experiences he’d had before. Elsa was born with her gift. She can’t have been the only one.

He wrote a cage and Elsa memorized it, and locked herself in. He gave her the gloves, and she put them on again, and again, until she had to let it go.

But the message matters, too. And he told her so, when he handed them over:

See, you’re good.

Tide Warnings

Illness swept in and gave me
the power to be weak,

to run aground like a razor
clam bed after storm,
yet see dark clouds ahead:

this is what you’ve got
this is what it is.

My body like the weather
on a small barren island,
whistling through the rocks:

I see you there
I’ve got you now
there is no shelter here.

And I stop bending until all
my bones and muscles ache,

I say, alright then, body, break,
immerse me in saltwater,
in slow but sure extinction,

in smithereens I may
hold out for longer
than you think.