Son of Darkness pt.1
Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader
She never thought a job with The First Order would bring her face-to-face with Kylo Ren, but when it does, she discovers that there is more to the son of darkness than people think. (Part one of two)
AN: Part two under #son of darkness pt.2
It was just a job.
Just another way to send money back home to a family she wasn’t sure she would see again. But her position would keep them safe and off of the First Order’s radar. She’d lay low, do what she was told when she was told to do it. Just another worker bee in the hive or a tumbler in the machinery. No connections, no grudges nor freshly established enemies. She wasn’t naive and through its absence, she appeared intelligent. Things came to her as they would, yet she was almost always prepared.
Almost, being a key player.
Along with being intelligent and having a good head on her shoulders, she had also been told that she was incredibly beautiful. Not in a way that would completely floor those around her at a first glance, but in a way that would creep up on them like a sandstorm and bury them in her appearance if they lingered. This made working among a majority of men on a confined ship somewhat difficult at times. She had prepared for this and just as every other attractive woman, she had learned the ins and outs of the male mind through trial and error. It started with some troopers taking doubletakes and peered back at her over their shoulders. Continuing with officers smiling at her for a bit too long. These somewhat advances had no negative effect on her, nor should they have an affect on any woman with confidence if these types of situations stay benign. As long as they kept themselves out of her space, she allowed them to look as long as they liked. In a way it was flattering and made her walk a little taller.
She was weeks, maybe a few months, into her employment on the ship before she had even laid eyes on the son of darkness. Naturally, she had heard the stories. The tales of violent tantrums and unrequited tormentative advances towards the resistance. What sat with her the worst, though, was his supposed unpredictable torment of random officers. She assumed to never see him due to the fact that up until that day, she still had yet to. Therefore, these worries had retired.
She had been making deliveries that evening and was up on the bridge. All was quiet, peaceful, even….and then there came the storm. In a rage, the cloaked figure stomped wildly into the light of the stars. She followed the lead of those around her; snapping to attention with her eyes begging herself to veer toward him. He was taller than she expected, and even though the majority of his back was to her, his yelling was audibly distorted by the mask. She was experiencing too much to even comprehend what he was shouting at a certain General standing with his back to the glass, the night sky illuminating his red hair. A mix of untamed fear, adrenaline and an overwhelming curiosity and excitement curdled together in her stomach. The minutes for all she knew had turned into hours as the two conversed, for she was unable to keep time in that moment.
“I’ll not have you questioning my methods. With someone of your responsibility I’d assume you’d have better ways to spend your evening.” Hux hissed.
The infamous Kylo Ren’s spine lengthened as he stepped closer. “You stand here. Smiling. You have yet to answer my question.”
“Why don’t you go ask Snoke. Perhaps you’ll receive an answer that satisfies you.”
“You’ll get what you deserve, General.” He threatened before spinning on his heel. He began his way towards the door, walking down the line of officers all snapped together in attention. For maybe a second, he wavered. His pace slowed just as the line brought him to where she stood.
He did not advance but towered high above her. Her skin began to crawl in those few moments. She feared she had done something wrong. Everything she had heard about the man standing in front of her came hurtling back, half-convincing her that her life was to end at any moment. She felt his eyes burning her from behind his mask, her own eyes wavering for a minute on the silver plates that the stars twinkled off of. The instant she snapped her eyes back forward, she had already accepted her cruel fate. She had really done it this time. However, Kylo Ren turned back towards the door and continued on his way. After his exit, the room reverted back to how it had been, but not before some of those around her boiled in their curiosity. One of these being General Hux, who saw the whole episode as an opportunity.
“General Hux.” She greeted him the next day when he approached her in a somewhat remote corridor. “Good afternoon, sir.”
“Likewise, Lieutenant. I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.” His wall of authority still stood as strong as it always appeared, so she found it rather odd that he offered his hand to her.
“Lieutenant (y/l/n). It’s an honor to shake your hand, sir.”
“Oh, nonsense. What a bit of a formality it all is.”
“I suppose so.” She stopped for a moment, peering past her shoulder as if she were to see someone, but no one showed themselves. She looked again when the feeling got worse, still to nothing and no one.
“Lieutenant (y/l/n),” She turned her attention back onto Hux, not being able to shake the feeling of being watched. “The reason I have approached you this afternoon is something I don’t do often. I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to a drink after your shift.”
“Oh well, I can’t possibly tell you how flattered I am.” Her lips shut and she was cut off. Not by Hux nor by anyone she could pinpoint. Almost like a silent, anonymous disapproval was reaching out to her. “Unfortunately, I have a personal code against dating those I work with. It’s not personal it’s just a matter of policy.”
Things went downhill from there, Hux’s facade soon faded after her rejection. The next few weeks, she made careful plans to avoid him at all costs on her routes throughout the ship. For the most part, she was successful. When she wasn’t, Hux would make every effort to humiliate her in front of her peers. Whether it be by calling her out for a crooked shoulder pad or a scuff in her boots. Insignificant things that he would try his damndest to look for. She would never show it, even if it did affect her, but he had lost her respect long ago. All the while this was happening, the energy that had caught her attention days earlier clung to her still. She was almost constantly checking her six and was stuck in a state of anxiety and awareness that she as being watched.
One day not soon after, she was heading towards Conditioning on a call and got hopelessly lost. You couldn’t blame her, the ship was monstrously huge. While having next to no idea where she was, she stumbled upon something she knew she should have just walked away from. A cracked door in one of the most secure sectors on the ship was a red flag by itself, and especially so that she happened to know exactly whose door it was. But she couldn’t get him out of her head. He was of course the one who stopped to look at her, study her. It wasn’t necessarily romantic to her, she just craved more.
Her finger brushed along the metal and the whole door plate slid entirely open. The hiss it made turned her wary and the feeling didn’t pass, and was only paired with more adrenaline as she stepped further into the space. The colors were bleak; mostly black and grey, some dark blues scattered. There were no overhead lights, only small ones in different places. She saw the bed, the starry windows that spanned an entire wall in places. Everything from the nightstands to the sheets seemed untouched, like no one even lived in there at all. Everything inside her was screaming and telling her to leave immediately, and she ignored it until she realized it was too late to change her mind.
“You dare to enter this sector without clearance.” The distorted voice she had only heard once, the one that occupied her thoughts every day sent a spine-chilling surge of adrenaline throughout her entire body. She froze as the hatch closed behind him.
She couldn’t recall turning to face him, for the fear must have blacked her out. But she did remember watching as he realized who she was. She watched his shoulders softened, something so inconspicuous that was somehow so obvious to her. His hand fell from where it had rested readily on his What she assumed was his lightsaber.
“What are you doing here?” His voice now a bit calmer.
“I was lost. I got lost.” She stammered out in haste.
For a moment he continued to stare at her through the mask, his regular demander of ruthlessness replaced with uncertainty.
“I am so sorry Sir, I’ll leave at once.” But she was too scared to carry on with her proposal, for he stood between her and her only exit.
Finally, he spoke. “I don’t want to see you here again.”
“Absolutely not.” She violently shook her head as he stepped out of the way. His eyes followed her as she left while hers were glued on her boots.
She declined to talk to anyone for the rest of the day. That night, she tossed and turned in her worry. For nightmares would sure cloud her sleep if she had the opportunity to embrace it. This went on for the next few days, all the while she prayed to never cross paths with him again, especially not around others. It was around her fourth restless night that sleep welcomed her again, only this time she was greeted by nightmares. Her family, the resistance, the first order and everything else just blended together and set upon her like a storm. She shot up from her bed in a cold sweat to a silent room filled with nothing but her own frantic breathing. She draped a blanket over her shoulders trying to coddle away the shock and attempting to convince herself of its invalidity. It was there in the bossum of her recovery that a voice began to wrap itself around her. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she felt completely frozen. It whispered to her words of comfort.
It’s alright. He breathed.
So unfamiliar, yet she felt her woe begin to drizzle away. The fog began to lift as the soft words kept coming.
She then did something she had never done which was leave her quarters at night. The ship was intimidating enough during the day and no one wanted to see The Dreadnought in the dead of night. None of that mattered to her though, she needed to clear her head.
It was there at the start of one of the earliest hours in the morning that she realized her maker really had it out for her, that their target was to make her life as comically ironic as possible. She turned a corner of a deserted, glass-lined hallway and saw a man standing before the stars. When he faced her, twisting his long torso in her direction, she soon realized who he was. She had next to no idea how she knew this was the same man that had spared her only a few days ago, but all that mattered to her then was the absence of the mask. His black locks were illuminated by the night sky. Without the mask, she was free to look at him. The threat was still present, just softened. She turned to leave but his voice, now restored, stopped her.
It wasn’t as desperate as a beg or a plead, but it also wasn’t as hostile as an order. It was the voice that coaxed her out of Huxs’ post-shift drink inquiry. The voice that had brought her from the darkness mere minutes prior.
Unaware of his intent, or the reprocusions of her choice, she turned towards him anyway.