What difference does a name make? Shakespeare wondered the same in Romeo and Juliet where he lets Juliet state “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet;”
I know people have speculated about why Ben didn’t present himself as Warlow when he first met Sookie, this is my theory.
First of all, is his name really Warlow or is that a title like smith or thatcher and thus his profession and not his name? We know that Warlow probably comes from warlock (waerloga=oathbreaker) and that it might have been a nickname that became so connected to Ben Flynn that it replaced the name he was once given, perhaps in an attempt to ridicule of avoid mentioning his name at all. Using that name would then be acknowledging what people called him behind his back.
In the case of Sookie Stackhouse, I think the explanation lies in what Romeo answers Juliet:
By a name
I know not how to tell thee who I am:
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
Because it is an enemy to thee.
Had I it written, I would tear the word.
Ben knows that Sookie is scared of him, that she hates him and fears what he will do to her. By presenting himself as Ben Flynn, a halfling fairy (like her) hurt by a vampire she is able to see someone that isn’t a threat to her at all. She takes him home and as he says when he leaves “You know…it’s been a long time since anybody’s shown me even an ounce of human kindness.” Sookie is probably the first creature in millenia that has treated him as a person and not an abomination. Let’s not forget what Niall said when he found out who Ben was “I never imagined such a mongrel could exist.” Not a very nice way of describing someone. So what is Ben looking for? He is looking for someone who will accept him as he “Everybody wants to be understood, right? When you found me by the side of that road, I knew you understood me. I knew I understood you and I knew it right away.” If someone knows what it is to be an outcast, it’s Sookie Stackhouse and I think that’s part of the attraction.
Finally, what if this Ben Warlow isn’t as bad as we’ve been told? What if there is in fact a reason for his actions, something that at least will make it easier to understand what he did? What if this quote “But even on the darkest day thousands of years ago, as I stood over the dust of my own mother and father…I couldn’t bear to kill a child.” isn’t about him killing his parents, but him avenging them being killed by other fairies as punishment for his crimes? That would at least make a difference to me.