ben hammer

The Girl That I Marry
Lisa Ben
The Girl That I Marry

This short 1 minute parodied song, The Girl That I Marry, is turned into a lesbian song, a sort of ode to butch lesbianism. The songwriter, Lisa Ben (a pen name playing off the word les/bian), was born Edythe D. Eyde, and she created the first known lesbian publication in the world, Vice Versa in the 1940s. She was also active in lesbian bars as a musician.

See below for Lisa Ben’s lyrics and the original lyrics by Irving Berlin. This song was featured in both Barbara Hammer’s History Lessons, an experimental documentary on lesbianism, and also in the documentary, Before Stonewall.

The Girl That I Marry by Lisa Ben
The girl that I marry will probably be
as butch as a hunk of machinery.
The girl I idolize will wear slacks with flat fronts,
tailored shirts and bow ties.
She’ll walk with a swagger and wear short hair
And keep me entranced with her tomboy air.
Instead of cruisin’ I’ll be usin’
Her shoulder to lean on while snoozin’
A faint hearted fairy, the girl I marry won’t be!

The Girl That I Marry Original Lyrics by Irving Berlin
The girl that I marry will have to be
as soft and as pink as a nursery.
The girl that I call my own
will wear satins and laces and smell of cologne.
Her nails will be polished and in her hair
she’ll wear a gardenia and I’ll be there
‘Stead of flittin’ I’ll be sittin’ next to her
and she’ll purr like a kitten.
A doll I can carry the girl that I marry must be.

Armie Hammer and Alicia Vikander team up again in Ben Wheatley’s Freakshift

Deadline announced today that Armie joins the cast of Freakshift. The movie will star his Man from U.N.C.L.E co-star and Academy Award winner Alicia Vikander, and will be directed by Ben Wheatley, who he worked with on Free Fire.

According to Deadline, Freakshift is an “action thriller about a band of misfit cops who hunt down and kill nocturnal underground monsters”. Armie will play Alicia’s love interest in the film, while she will incarnate the lead female role.

Earlier this year, Ben Wheatley talked with the Independent about the film, describing a bit of the plot:

“We should be making Freakshift this year which is a sci-fi film that Amy [Jump] and I have written and has been in development for about five or six years,” he said, “so it looks like that’s finally going to happen. “It’s about women with shotguns fighting giant crabs.” he added. “There you go, it sells itself.” 

With Freakshift, Armie adds another genre to his already very rich filmography. Needless to say we are very excited to see him work again with the two talents that Ben and Alicia are.

Production should start next August.

guys this post means so much to me i’m gonna die

can you imagine, Aunt May and Uncle Ben (or maybe his parents, I’m not sure about Peter’s timeline… I’ll go with Uncle Ben for the feels though) taking Peter to Stark Expo so he can maybe catch a glimpse of his hero, Tony Stark?

Uncle Ben buys him an Iron Man mask and a little toy repulsor and he’s just bouncing up and down with excitement, gawking at all the cool inventions, but mostly he can’t wait to see Tony

And then he’s disappointed when he hears that Tony isn’t there, that Hammer Industries is doing the big exhibition, and he’s just so crushed

THEN Iron Man crashes the party and he’s pointing and smiling, going “Look, Uncle Ben!!! That’s him!!!”

The Hammer drones start attacking, and Uncle Ben tries to get Peter out of there, but he loses him in the chaos and Peter spots one of the drones

He’s a kid, he doesn’t really know better, but he does know what Iron Man would do

He raises his hand, fires up his little toy repulsor, and then WHAM

The Hammer drone falls in a pile of sparks and metal, and Peter turns around, startled, only to see Iron Man, Tony Stark himself, standing there

“Nice work, kid,” he says before flying off to save the day, just as Ben finds Peter and scoops him up to take him to safety

And Peter is just in awe. Iron Man thanked him. Tony Stark thought that he helped.

That he was a hero.

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Ben Wheatley, Sharlto Copley, Armie Hammer, Cillian Murphy and Michael Smiley talk about Free Fire, Ben Wheatley’s latest film about an arms deal gone wrong. Free Fire is out in UK cinemas on 31st March. On April 21 in the US.