ben Franklin

Okay let’s talk about this painting. It’s called “Signing of the Constitution” by Howard Chandler Christy.

Let’s start with good old George Washington.

He’s staring dramatically into the distance with this heavenly glow thing going on.

William Blount is just looking longingly at Washington, like he’s desperate to confess his love.

Then Gunning Bedford, Jr. is down here on the floor like a weirdo.

George Read looks like he shit his pants and doesn’t know what to do.

Gouverneur Morris looks pissed. Also, it’s important that you know that Gouverneur was his first name, not his title.

William Jackson is obviously just asking for another drink. He can’t be bothered to pay attention to this historic event.

Roger Sherman is giving William Samuel Johnson some serious side-eye. Throwing some shade ‘bout some shit.

And my personal favorite: Ben Franklin looking directly at the camera like he’s Jim from The Office.

Probably because fucking Alexander Hamilton is all up in his personal space.

This incomplete painting by Benjamin West depicted the signing of the Treaty of Paris which ended the Revolutionary War and settled other related conflicts. David Hartley and Richard Oswald, representing Great Britain, refused to sit for the painting. This is all West was able to finish.

Obviously, John Adams and Ben Franklin got a big kick out of this and Adams even brought it back to the US to hang on his wall

2015 The Federalist Cabernet Sauvignon

I’m dressing up for Presidents’ Day by going old-school for this California Cab even though I’m just like my country, I’m young, scrappy, and hungry (always hungry). Ripe on the nose with cassis, black cherries, ripe green pepper, dill, and vanilla. Cassis, vanilla, and cinnamon on the palate with a candied raspberry finish and pretty fresh, mouthwatering acidity.

3/5 bones

$

Cabernet Sauvignon

14% abv

Central Valley, California, USA

1776: A Summary
  • John Adams: INDEPENDENCE
  • Congress: JOHN SHUT UP
  • John Adams: Saltpeter
  • Abigail: Pins
  • John Adams: Saltpeter
  • Abigail: Pins
  • John Adams: Saltpeter
  • Abigail: Pins
  • John Adams: What a woman
  • Adams and Franklin: We need you to do a thing
  • Richard H. Lee: LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE
  • Hancock: Okay Congress lets do the thing we do
  • Richard H. Lee: I DID THE THING LEE LEE LEE LEE LEE
  • Hancock: Independence discuss now
  • Adams: YES
  • Dickinson: NO
  • Morris: New York abstains
  • Morris: COURTEOUSLY
  • Hancock: Go write a declaration
  • Adams: Jefferson write the thing
  • Jefferson: I dont wanna write the thing
  • Adams: YOURE GONNA WRITE THE THING
  • Adams: Here's your wife now write the thing
  • Franklin: THEY'RE HAVIN THE SEX
  • Courier: ah you thought this was a funny play about the founding fathers making sex jokes guess what WRONG
  • Thomas: I wrote the thing
  • Adams: I like the thing
  • Adams: The country's bird will be the eagle
  • Jefferson: The dove
  • Franklin: The turkey
  • Adams and Jefferson: Franklin wtf
  • Congress: *ARGUING*
  • Adams and Jefferson: No slavery
  • Rutledge: MOLASSES AND RUM AND SLAAAAAAAAVES
  • Adams: FINE COMPROMISE
  • Wilson: *grows a spine but not really*
  • Dickinson: bye
  • Hancock: Let's sign the thing
  • Congress: *signs the thing*
  • THE END
Historical Figures...high school au

This is really stupid but I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Please indulge me.

George Washington: That one teacher whom everyone respects and no one really wants to get on his bad side because holy hell he’s scary. Hamilton tries his hardest to be the teachers’ pet, but everyone knows that Lafayette is his favorite. He just wants to retire.

Alexander Hamilton: President of the debate club and the oratory club. Was a member of the chess club until James Madison kept beating him. Constantly doing menial tasks for Mr. Washington. Hates Thomas Jefferson with a passion, but only because everyone thinks Jefferson is a better writer than he is (which may or may not be true.) Everyone wants to date him until they realize how insufferable he is. Voted most attractive 4 years in a row.

Aaron Burr: Hamilton’s friend, but only outside of the debate club. In debate club they are bitter enemies. Takes women’s history as an elective. Mr. Washington utterly despises him. Jefferson utterly despises him. Madison is..indifferent to him. He tries his best. Constantly dealing with the consequences of Hamilton being unable to  shut his damn mouth.

Ben Franklin: Wins the science fair every damn year. Has about 7 different girlfriends at once and is always skipping classes to…do…things…with them. Not the most attractive but hot damn he’s always somehow getting laid. Really close with all of the foreign exchange students. Too close. Really wanted the school mascot to be the turkey.

The Marquis de Lafayette: The French Foreign exchange student who everybody LOVES. Seriously, they all think he’s the best thing since sliced bread. The only one who can make Mr. Washington smile. He isn’t very fluent in English so he really doesn’t understand why everyone is so close to him all the time but he really enjoys having so many friends.

John Adams: Eternally pissed off at something or someone. Student body President although no one really understands how he won the election. Constantly arguing with Hamilton over how the student government should be run, even though they basically have the same ideas. Manic-depressive and spends all his free time in the library getting yelled at by the librarian for being too loud. People make fun of him behind his back but he pretends not to notice. Jefferson’s boyfriend.

Thomas Jefferson: That one weird kid that no one really hates but no one really talks to either. Spends all his time in the library, pretending to pay attention to Adams’ ranting. He’s an incredible writer but tends to have panic attacks when he needs to speak out loud. Is reading all the time. Reads in class. Reads during gym. Reads in the bathroom. Has no fashion sense at all. Brings macaroni and cheese for lunch every damn day. Sometimes brings his pet mockingbird to school. Never leaves his best friend, James Madison’s side.

James Madison: Best friends with Thomas Jefferson. Is out sick all the time, but is somehow still at the top of all of his classes. Very very small, but never bullied because he spends most of his time camping out in the library with Jefferson and Adams. He and Adams don’t really like each other much, but put up with each other out of their mutual care for Jefferson. Used to be friends with Hamilton but they don’t really talk anymore. Spends all of his lunch money on ice cream. Literally the smartest kid in school, which really pisses Hamilton off.

Richard Henry Lee: That one kid who’s always late or running in the halls but none of the teachers can really get mad at him because he’s so damn sweet. Excited about literally everything. Isn’t very smart, but he tries his best. He’s on every single sports team and is constantly doing parkour to get to classes. Very depressed but very good at hiding it. Everyone’s friend, no one’s best friend. Once ate everything in the vending machine on a dare.

Tadeusz Kosciuszko: The other foreign exchange student that no one remembers. No one can pronounce his name. Always building complicated stuff in shop class.