below par

Humans Are Weird: Repellent

What if Earth wasn’t the only planet with mosquitos? Mosquitos are like a scourge to aliens, drinking blood and swarming around. Not to mention the possible diseases you can contract. So most planets with mosquitos were labeled uninhabitable and forgotten about, as they are nearly impossible to completely purge from a planet. That is, until humans come and start exploring all those “uninhabitable” planets that are perfect for them.

The Sentinel was a C-class explorer star ship, one of the first to explore the Beta Quadrant. It was part of the new Inter-Human Inclusion Program to help integrate humans into alien societies and familiarize species with one another. As such the Sentinel’s crew was roughly half and half, half human and half other aliens.

Today they were exploring planet S-00202B74, an organic planet with life and an atmosphere reliant on oxygen. The human crew had taken to nick-naming the planet Soo, saying the previous name was too long. The excursion crew contained two humans, Anna and Martin, and three aliens, Ja'rin, Urt'arg, and Kyr.

Soo was a swampy planet, 92 percent water but filled with life. Less than a minute after being on the planets porous surface, Anna suddenly smacked her arm angrily. “Why did you do that?!” Kyr exclaimed. A red handprint was forming on the woman’s bicep, but she smiled smugly. “Not to worry, just got a bloodsucker is all.” She wiped her palm on her leg. Ja'rin looked up fearfully, “A what now?” Martin waved his hand, “You know, mosquitos. I figured after leaving Earth I’d never have to see one again… .” He grimaced as he thought about it.

Ja'rin frantically looked at their exposed tentacles, “Oh no, we have to go back! These things eat you alive!” Anna came up to him, “Hey relax buddy, it’ll be fine! All we need is some bug spray.”

“Some what?”

“Insect repellant. You know, this stuff,” She said as she dug a small bottle out of her back pack. She uncapped it and sprayed the contents over her clothes, arms, and legs. “Pass it here,” Martin called. He repeated the strange ablutions. The normally quiet Urt'arg watched closely with their six blue eyes. “What is that?” they snorted. Martin replied, “It’s a chemical that repels bugs, makes it so they don’t want to bite you.”

Quite quickly for an alien with tentacles and not legs, Ja'rin was at the human’s side, “Could I borrow some? Please?” Martin resisted laughing, “Sure sure, but, hmm,” he looked at Ja'rin’s purplish tentacles, “maybe don’t use it directly on your skin. You absorb stuff really easily, and this might hurt you if you absorb too much.” Ja'rin hesitated now, “Hurt me? Why would that hurt me?”

Anna piped up, “I mean, it is poison after all. I think if you just put it on your uniform you’ll be okay.” Urt'arg’s globular eyes turned yellow and they garbled, “You- You put poison, just, all over you? To keep bugs off? Are you insane!?” Anna shrugged, “Hey, it’s a common thing on Earth. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want.”

None of the aliens took the offer to use the spray, but instead grabbed special suits from the ship. Oddly they didn’t touch either human until they returned to the Sentinel and washed.

The crew made their report to the Captain, Eisa and Muir, but Kyr stayed behind. “Captain, I have a report to add to the Human Manual. When in a hostile environment, more specifically one with aggressive insects, instead of fleeing or even putting on protective gear, humans will cover their bodies in poisonous chemicals to protect themselves.” Eisa blinked, and Muir asked, “I’m sorry, but what?” Kyr nodded, “On the mission, the planet had mosquitos! Instead of turning back, they just pulled out bottles of poison, like it was normal, and covered themselves in it. I guess it worked, they didn’t get bit after that, but I can’t believe they’d do that. It seems dangerous,” Eisa-Muir stood up with a sigh, their two heads having a silent conversation and sharing a look. “Thank you for the report,” Muir said. “You are dismissed,” said Eisa.

After Kyr left, Muir thought to Eisa, “What have we gotten ourselves into?”

(If anyone wants to, you can add to this. I know my writing is below par, sorry)

3

BOMB A** Traits | PT 3

Alright, so y’all already know what time it is. I have another trait pack containing 5 traits, like usual. Scroll down to see what it do. (Btw, I gave y’all a little sneak peak of a trait I just made that’s apart of PT 4. I wonder if any of you guys will spot it lol)

Weeaboo: A term normally used for people who swear up and down that Japan is the best place in the world. But for this we’re going to pretend that its for all places. This is a trait for a sim that worships any kind of culture and wishes that they were born from that heritage rather than their own.

IN GAME DESCRIPTION - These type of sims love to appreciate other cultures. If they don’t already live in San Myshuno they will wish to move to such a thriving cultural city. They love to explore all aspects of other cultures such as learning different languages, recipes and skills. 

Slayer:  As Queen Bey said….

IN GAME DESCRIPTION - These type of sims are always on point, let it be night or day. You slay at everything you do, whether it be gaining skills, getting a promotions of gaining friends. You’re a sim that prays, slays and conquers the day. 

♢ Suspect: The word “suspect” is meant to suggest that someone is believed to be below par. They are hiding something or are believed to have a serious character flaw which makes them undesirable as a friend or acquaintance.

IN GAME DESCRIPTION - A sim that claims to be vegetarian but eats meat.

♢ Thottie: Just that hoe from down the block.

IN GAME DESCRIPTION - A thottie sim is basically the female version of a fuckboy. She thinks she’s hot shit but in all honesty, she’s just “that hoe from around the corner”

♢ BAE:  I’m wayy too lazy and tired to be explaining this, its 6:37 in the morning.

IN GAME DESCRIPTION - A sim with this trait is the sweetest person you could ever meet. They’re easy to get to know and become friends with. With these types of sims, you will normally form unbreakable bonds that will last the rest of your lives. Meet a sim with this trait and you’ll have a bestie/partner for life!  

DOWNLOAD!! 

***Old & Updated Links in the description. Updated pack icons are NOT the same as the original.***

Note: Tag me if you use the traits in game! DO NOT RE-UPLOAD or REDISTRIBUTE.  If you run into any issues, please feel free to message me as soon as possible so that I can fix it. Thanks and happy simming! 😊

anonymous asked:

I think that the prices are not problem, but the actual below the par merch is. Like it is so so average. :(

Dude, his merch is far higher quality than 90% of what I’m seeing out there. And it’s what the people want. He has shit with his face plastered all over it for the people that want that, he has more subtle things, he has a positive message and he has show specific merch. What the hell else do you want hand embroidered silk dressing gowns? Don’t be ridiculous. The quality of that merch is far beyond most artists.

Blessing in Disguise

Jason was always partying. The guy never gave a damn about anything. He just always party like there’s no tomorrow. Different girl and guy every week. He was just so popular. Everyone like him. Nobody would not like him. Except me probably. I hated him for being such a lousy roommate. Being messy as fuck and I clean up for him. Being noisy as fuck when I’m studying. Overall he was a dick. But he was hot. Like everyone would wanna fuck him hot. I wanted him. I wanted to be him. So did I. A couple of times. But I usually do it when he went home or when he goes out-of-state to play for the college football team. 

Also another shocker, we fucked a couple of times. Usually when he’s super horny or he’s super drunk. It was the best fucks I ever had. He was super sweet in bed. He just makes you fall for him. That’s why I hate him so much. He was just so perfect. Doing all the right things at the right time, makes you feel so much of love for this guy. I felt the love when I was him. In his t-shirts. In his pants. In his boxer briefs. It just makes you feel so good about life. Maybe this is why he enjoys life so much. Jason Worthington Jr. was the perfect guy. 

So last weekend something happened. Something that changed everything. So Jason was partying. Shockingly I was also partying with him. He brought me along this frat party in campus. We just fucked and some shit-ass after sex lovey dovey feelings were still there. We made out along the Uber ride to the frat house. Jason was bi. Everyone knows this as a fact. He was pretty opened about it. Dated few of the hottest guys in campus. Dated few of the hottest girls in campus. That was Jason. Always having someone on par next to him. But tonight he got me along. Someone below par. As in way down the par. He told me it was a chill party. So he wore his grey sweatpants and I forgot what t-shirt was he wearing. When we reached, he held my hand and went into the party. It was such a fucking sweet moment. We went in and partied the whole night together. When went back together before dawn to his place. He was pissed-ass drunk. He passed out in bed. But I was still near sober, so I was functional. 

Knowing Jason was passed out. I took off his clothes. He didn’t react to me taking off his clothes. I took off my clothes. I went to the toilet with Jason’s grey sweatpants and black Adidas boxer brief. I put on the boxer brief first as I slowly became Jason. When I was done, I was practically Jason. I slipped on his grey sweatpants and realizing Jason’s phone was still inside. I took it out and went in and took some photos with camera. Taking a photo of his rear. That firm ass. 

I slowly took off the sweatpants. With only the boxer brief now on my body cupping my balls and cock. It feels so good looking at the mirror and seeing this Adonis reflecting back. 

I reached in my boxer brief and cupped my cock and balls. Feeling it was so good. I fucked a couple guys with his body before. It felt so good topping almost every guy except sometimes being fucked by daddies. 

I pulled the boxer brief down and showed my ass. That ass. Wonder what would it feel like being fucked by Jason in Jason’s body. 

So I went back to the Jason’s room and woke Jason up. When he saw me, he was surprisingly not shocked. He told me he knew I was doing something like this. Cause he caught me walking in his body in campus and back to my room. He said it was kinda hot seeing himself. So i cut him off and went to make out with him. We fucked. Topping and bottoming each other multiple times. It was the best fuck we ever had. He saying the same thing. We actually started dating awhile after that. We are still together. It was a blessing in disguise after all.

Draco’s Birthday (Angst, Headcanon)

Draco’s Birthday (Angst)

  • Not understanding him when he told you he didn’t like celebrating his birthday.
  •  Surely Draco Malfoy would adore a day made out just to celebrate him, right?
  •  Him telling you why he doesn’t like his birthday.
  •  “It’s just always a long string of disappointments. ‘Draco didn’t do this’, ‘Draco didn’t do that,’. Plus, it’s far too cheesy for my liking. Seeing all the family, having to react a certain way to it all- it’s just too much for me. Putting up a polite act to keep our image squeaky clean. Plus, I’ve never been big on parties. Huge celebration every year, lots of important people, more people to have to impress, more people to let down…it’s just not fun, y/n.”
  •  You’d insisted that at least the two of you had to celebrate his birthday.
  •  He’d reluctantly agreed, saying he didn’t want anything extravagant or over-the-top.
  •  So, you’d simply made a reason for Narcissa and Lucius to leave the house (they completely knew what you were doing, they thought it was sweet…mostly Narcissa.)
  •  You’d made a somewhat decent dinner and had it ready for when Draco got to Malfoy Manor.
  •  You surprised him with the dinner, grinning proudly at him.
  •  “What…what is this?”
  •  “It’s something I made for you! I’m not the best cook…”
  •  He’d insisted it would be wonderfully before you could finish your sentence and began eating.
  •  The dinner wasn’t horrible, it was mediocre.
  •   (Although Draco insisted it was the best meal he’d ever eaten.)
  •  You’d gone out to the garden and just lay down with him, snuggling together under a blanket and talking to each other the whole night.
  •  You two falling asleep at sunrise, still curled up together. 
  •  This was one of the happiest days of Draco’s life, and he was made you fully aware of it every day after.
  •  Just the two of you, with a meal that was always a little below par, a blanket under the stars and talking until sunrise.
  •  You two telling each other you loved each other an abnormal amount of times.
  •  The gesture making Draco cry.
  •  He’d never admit it to anyone else, but the fact that you did this for him completely melted his heart.
  •  But, the next year at Hogwarts, Draco simply didn’t show up for his birthday.
  •  He hadn’t been able to face you, knowing what he had to do, and what he had already done.
  •  He thought he was too far in to go back.
  •  So, he just didn’t go back.
  •  And everything came to a screeching halt.
  •  Just like that, his first birthday he truly appreciated became the last one he ever celebrated, and one of the last times he ever saw you again.
Here - Michael Latta

latta’s got a lot to tell you 

for anon 

lowercase intended

warnings: like maybe one swear 

word count: 1890 

a/n: wow did i enjoy writing this, thanks for the great prompt!!

Originally posted by bvnting

“how did i let you talk me into this? i suck at mini golf,” you whined. you gripped the little putter tightly in your fist and shook it threateningly at him.

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Across the Divide

TITLE: Across The Divide

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Thirteen

AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki sneaking out of the palace as a youth to see the city and countryside, while out one day, he accidentally gets in trouble for something, but a young girl deals with the situation, allowing him to be left alone and his true identity be kept secret. She is a poor girl who is only in the city to sell goods with her father, so she does not realise it is Loki, even though she sees his face. They form a friendship as she shows him around the city, and tells him the date she comes to the city every month for a particular market.

RATING: Teen and Up

Loki could only focus on Ariella as the ship quickly flew over the Aesir countryside towards the city, and in turn, the palace, where there would be the best healers in Asgard to help his friend. For the entirety of the journey, he spoke of all manner of mundane and droll matters, just so Ariella would have his voice to comfort her, he spoke of the land below them, of the weather and even of the ship they were in. in her fitful sleep her breathing was shallow and fast, and every so often, she muttered something, it was only when he focused hard, did Loki realise that the word she was saying was his name. her grip, though weak and feeble, was concentrated solely on holding onto him tight, as though she was terrified he would vanish.. After a while, he looked up, sick of Fandral staring at them. “What?”

“You really do care for her?”

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I watched the new Netflix Castlevania show last night, and I seriously loved it. Even though I’m not a huge fan of the games, I did pick up on plenty of references the show threw in while also being entertained by the story and characters.

Shame that it was so short, but also so glad that there’s actually a video game adaption out there that isn’t below par now, especially for Castlevania. 

Perfect // Ron Weasley Imagine

a/n: i actually love ron weasley with all my heart. Also sorry I haven’t posted in a few days, I just need more requests :)

Prompt: “You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?” from this adorable prompt list

Ron Weasley x reader

Being one of the best wizards in Dumbledore’s Army definitely had its advantages. One of which was being able to help coach some of the other students on their spell casting abilities, especially Ron.

“Come on!” You laughed as you watched Ron try to cast a levitating spell and the feather only lifting about an inch off the ground before falling.

“You can do better than that, Won Won!” Fred and George yelled in unison.

Teasing Ron on his wand movements that are below par is an activity you and the Weasley Twins never fail to enjoy. But Ron never really cared, he always thought your jokes were funny.

“I’m trying my best!” He retorted, trying to keep the grin off his face. He always found himself smiling around you, but he just never knew why.

You covered your mouth with your hands as Ron’s disarming spell sprouted water from his wand, splashing Neville in the face.

“Ok, ok, take a break Ron,” you told him, starting to feel bad for how poorly he was doing.

Ron feigned a praying motion to you in gratitude as he walked over to the resting bench and sat down next to his brothers.

“So,” Fred said, leaning next to Ron’s left side as George leaned next to his right side.

“You gonna tell her, mate?” George asked Ron.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Ron turned around to face his brother.

“Tell her what?” he asked in genuine confusion.

Fred and George shared a look and then turned back to Ron.

“That you’ve been whipped over her since you met?” Fred responded, wiggling his eyebrows.

Face as red as his hair, Ron tried to brush off their comments.

“I don’t like her like that,” he lied, and all three of them knew it.

“Alright everybody!” said Harry, “We are now going to work on close up sparring, so grab a partner.”

Everyone around the room started to pair up and Ron’s mind was spinning. He had to tell you how he felt at some point, and getting you as a partner would give him the opportunity to do it.

Fred nudged Ron’s shoulder, “Go,” he said. And with that one simple word, Ron hauled himself to his feet and made his way over to you.

You looked up and were beyond happy to see a certain redhead walking towards you.

“You’re gonna kick my arse at this,” he said, chuckling to himself, “but i wanted to give it a shot.”

The rest of the practice was spent trying to prevent Ron from hitting the ground too hard as you sparred together. He was struggling, big time, but still had a smile on his face. He was with you after all, so how could he not be smiling?

Holding out your hand for Ron to take, you helped pull him up from the ground. He gladly took it, and just touching hands with him was making your heart beat so loud you were afraid he could hear it.

Smiling, he met your eyes and then suddenly a wall of nervousness fell over his features.

“Everything alright?” You asked him, feeling like he was about to tell you something important.

“Yeah, uh,” he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, “You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?” he asked you.

Your cheeks flushed, chiding yourself for expecting too much.

“Ah, y-y-yeah, go ahead,” you said awkwardly.

At your word, Ron took a few steps closer to you, and slowly pulled a leaf out of  your hair.

“Thanks,” you whispered, looking up at him and being taken aback by just how close you were standing to each other. You had ever been this close to each other, with his nose was almost brushing against yours.

Standing so close to each other like that, you felt like you were the only two in the room. His thumb brushed against the skin on your cheek and you held your breath, praying that he would never take his hand away.

Just as you were about to tell him how you felt, that you have fancied him since day one, he leaned in until your lips were touching.

The kiss was better than any words could describe and neither of you could’ve been happier than in that moment.

Your kiss was cut short by a shout from Fred across the room, “Well It’s about bloody time!” followed by George’s shout of, “Get a room!”

Breaking apart from each other, you and Ron had the same grin and same blush on your cheeks as you looked around the room and saw your friends smiling at you.

Ron laughed nervously, “I guess I could’ve been more subtle with that,” he said.

You shook your head, the smile still on your face, “No, it was perfect.”

youtube

fargo // 7even devils

I just started and finished watching this show in a matter of a few days and what I’ve learned is that Fargo is spectacular. 

In My Way - Chapter 1

AO3 link

Genre: Chaptered. Actor!Dan AU, fluff, bit of angst, slow burn, getting together (eventually)

Summary: Fiction. Daniel Howell is 21 and Britain’s newest star. He’s just been cast in the much-anticipated film adaption of Last Man Standing, the popular teen fantasy novel with a huge fanbase hanging off his every tweet. In other words, Dan has made it big.

Phil Lester couldn’t care less. He’s a stressed out PHD student working part time at a bookshop while he struggles to get into post-production. He’s 26 and still lives in a tiny flat on the fifth floor of a building with a lift more broken than it is in use. He loves books, but he thinks big film adaptions screw with the plot too much.

Needless to say, Phil is less than impressed when Last Man Standing is getting filmed in his hometown. And he certainly doesn’t want anything to do with obnoxious, arrogant, so irritatingly perfect leading actor Daniel Howell.

Warnings: Swearing, Ace!Phil, Bi!Dan,

Word Count: 3000-5000 per chapter (ish)

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anonymous asked:

I love that people seem to miss that Dean's plot for like s11 & 12 has been like "Cool story bro, but what about Cas tho?" And by love, I mean sigh sadly at.

sometimes we just have to accept that the GA don’t see things because they’re watching whilst feeding the kids or doing the ironing or have such a blinded view of things they don’t see it.

tbh i used to watch GoT avidly and now I don’t so some of the stuff on that show is currently going over my head, it’s a choice sometimes too to just not pay attention, so I wouldn’t worry, the writers have always written amazing subtext and layers for people like us who like to delve into it and at the moment they’re going OVERBOARD on the meta, making it a meta-finale and imo the next season seems like the most meta season to ever be so… I think it’s gonna be awesome and they ARE focusing on people like us because they know the GA are happy enough to keep watching as long as they keep going on a certain track so they do, but they keep giving us more and more, getting new writers in who understand what we are looking for and boy do they deliver (not always, there are many episodes in s12 I think are below par, but overall).

They are telling the story the way they want to tell it and are not imo hindered too much by the network these days, entering endgame they are telling the story they want to tell and doing it the way they want to do it, which seems to be meta-ing the hell out of the earlier seasons to mirror, parallel and subvert them and build on them to move forwards. I mean this is basically what Dabb said when he took over, that he’s going to tell the story he wants to tell.

According to Singer too s13 is going to be even MORE about the relationships and emotions than s12?! 

Amazing.

I’m so ready for this.

anonymous asked:

What was the dynamic of Margaret Beaufort and Elizabeth of York's relationship? Could it be possible that she was a stage grandmother to the point that she was already overtaking the the role of Elizabeth's in overseeing the education of her own children (Arthur's exempted since he's not raised along with his sibs for he was the heir) which in turn strained their relationship?

We don’t have that great of a read on their relationship.

There were reports by ambassadors that they two didn’t get along - but ambassadors also generally tend to speak from a place of bias, so we have to keep that in mind.  It was reported that Margaret’s position was just below Elizabeth’s, almost on par with hers.  Margaret dined like a queen, dressed like a queen, and only walked a half-step behind the queen (License).  There’s no report on how Elizabeth received all of this.

At the same time Margaret and Elizabeth sometimes teamed up on their philanthropic efforts, such as with work they did with various monasteries (License). Margaret kept rooms in her home set aside for Elizabeth specifically (License), in case she should visit.  She made arrangements for Elizabeth’s deliveries and seemed very interested in how the children were raised.

I can see all this easily annoying Elizabeth, and I can also see all of this easily being borne by Elizabeth, and I can also see all of this easily being accepted graciously be Elizabeth.  

I can’t imagine that their’s was a simple relationship, there must have been many facets and aspects.  Elizabeth could have been annoyed that her mother-in-law acted like a queen, but at the same time have been grateful for all her help with the children.  I get the impression the Margaret Beaufort was an absolute force of nature, and I don’t think she would have been a woman it was easy to say no to.

Margaret was intelligent, savvy, incredibly loving, and easy to get along with, from what reports we have of her.  She can also come across as intense, demanding, and competitive.  Like Henry, she was an accomplished administrator (apparently her accounting from running her private household are a thing to behold) as well as a highly organized and motivated woman.  I can see having such a woman in your life as something of a double edged sword.  

I’ll end with an excerpt from License: “It appears that Henry’s political commitments meant Elizabeth often spent more time in Margaret’s company than with her husband but the union was also symbolic.  In the king’s absence they were the public, physical embodiment of united warring factions; York and Lancaster, white and red roses.  On key occasions, such as Twelfth Night 1487, Elizabeth and Margaret appeared in ‘like mantle and surcoat’ as an indicator of their equivalent rank, although Margaret then tended her daughter-in-law’s crown as she feasted.  Likewise, on St. George’s day 1488, the pair wore matching Garter gowns.  The two women were often in collaboration when it came to domestic and religious projects.  Margaret took in hand the practical arrangements for courtly life and key occasions such as births and christenings, as well as organizing suitable marriages for her and Elizabeth’s relations, although she was equally keen to support them when they transgressed, providing a home for Cecily of York when she married without permission.  Although the Spanish ambassadors might view this relationship as stifling, with Elizabeth ‘kept in subjection’ by Margaret, whose influence over Henry she apparently ‘did not like’, no contemporary accounts can verify Elizabeth’s displeasure.  Tellingly, the ambassador referred to the family dynamic in terms of stereotypes; the queen’s dislike was ‘as is generally the case’.  Margaret may well have been the overbearing, controlling figure they suggest but she was also indefatigable, highly organized and competent; quite likely she was a tower of strength.”

Asgardian Babysitter AU

im ready to lose followers

  • In this world, Tony and Steve have an adoptive son named Peter Parker, and when they have to save the day, they drop Peter off at Thor and Loki’s house for the weekend.
  • Thor and Loki are still brothers in this AU, not lovers, and they do share a house. No one else would accept an Asgardian god to be their roommate. They just don’t interact often.
  • This is also an AU where Peter got bit at a young age and could climb walls and be very flexible. He can’t shoot webs, at least not at this age.
  • Thor is the fun babysitter, letting Peter eat ice cream, watch movies past bedtime, and play any game he wanted. He was also quite good at peek-a-boo.
    • There have been several occasions where Thor had either had a new flavor of ice cream, a warm cup of coffee, or something he enjoyed and screamed “ANOTHER” and almost smashed it into the ground if it weren’t for Loki.
    • Thor would be the best at making fortresses and placing his Mjolnir in front of the fortress to scare off bad guys. Sometimes, if they’re lucky, Loki will join them.
  • Loki is the stressed “Mother” babysitter, who would always keep an eye on Peter, make sure he’s fed, and glare at Thor to make sure he doesn’t drop his hammer on him or something.
    • On occasion when Peter starts crying because of separation from his fathers, Loki would shape shift into Tony or Steve in order to calm him down and rock Peter to sleep.
    • Because he can shapeshift, one of his best pranks that he pulled is shapeshifting into Tony and convincing a young Peter to call him “mom”. Steve could not stop laughing and Tony embraced and started to buy female clothes. Loki never heard the end of it.
  • After Peter got his powers, it spawned a lot of freak out moments of “where’s the child??!?”. He would climb on ceilings, stick to floors, have a very strong grip on other objects. Peter’s best scheme is where he stuck to Thor’s cape and watched as they freaked out for a solid minute. The funniest minute of his life.
    • After the bite, he quickly learned that Thor is scared of spiders. Peter did everything in his power to scare the ever living crap out of Thor from that point on, and it went from catching spiders to put them in his bed, and scaring him by crawling over his toes. Eventually, he put his hammer on the toilet seat until he put back all the spiders and stopped scaring him, so he obeyed.
  • Peter’s favorite movie is the Bee Movie, and he watches it every time he comes over. Loki has gotten sick of it, but Thor has become invested in it as much as Peter has; genuinely or ironically is still a mystery.
    • Later, when he was 10, the Emoji Movie came out, and that became his favorite movie. Ironically, Loki loved that movie but Thor thought it was below par to the Bee Movie.
  • Once Peter became old enough to stay home alone, he visited Thor and Loki like uncles, and whenever they did, he would binge the Bee Movie and the Emoji Movie and try to lift the Mjolnir.

alright im done thanks :)

Heroes and Civilians Part 2

Part 1 

Pairings: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Summary: Just when Y/N thinks her dream have come true after landing a dream job at the Avengers tower with Mr Stark she soon learns things won’t be as easy as she’d first hoped. Not only is the jobs pressure more than she anticipated, but a certain metal armed man is also determined to make her life a whole lot harder at every turn. Bucky Barnes X reader

Warnings: None, just bad writing ayeee

Authors note: Thank-you so much for all the notes and comments, I appreciate them all, you guys are amazing ❤ I hope you enjoy (This chapters a bit shit)

Time went quite quick for a first day at work especially when considering the last first day you had at your previous job. You used to be a waitress at Gregs in the dodgy side of the city, that day you had 3 rude customers and tips were definitely below par. So hey who where you to complain over one rude guy with a metal arm making you clean his glass.

Right now, you were down to the last paper regarding potential missions which you could either mark as priority or not priority. Your eyes scanned the page, slightly drooping from tiredness as you tried to register each word before finally marking it as no priority along with ¾ of the other files you had read. With a deep sigh of relief, you leaned back into your desk chair and looked at the time, 16:51pm, just 9 more minutes till freedom, or so you hoped anyway, but then again you wouldn’t suppose Mr Stark would make you work overtime on the first day, no one was that cruel.

To make the minutes go that tiny bit quicker you decided to snoop around on some files on the computer that was on your desk, you scanned the bright screen and looked at all the available files on your desktop: ‘legal firms’ , ‘newspaper articles’ , ‘avenger initiative’ , ‘Mission appeals’ and ‘Profiles.’ Not knowing what either contained, you blindly clicked on ‘profiles’ and was met with the face of The Hulk, well that’s what everyone called him anyway but his real name was ‘Bruce Banner’, a scientist who just so happened to have slight anger problems, “huh, he’s kinda cute when he’s not green.” You whispered to yourself with a small smirk and clicked onto the next page; ‘Black Widow’ or ‘Natalia Romanova’ appeared next, she was a personal hero of yours if you were being honest, not only could she fight like a fucking machine but she saved the world while doing it all the while still keeping that feminine touch, talk about girl power. Yawning, you clicked again and widened your eyes ‘The Winter Soldier’ or ‘James Buchanan Barnes’, the very same guy you met earlier in the kitchen. You quickly browsed over his file and scoffed, “Hero my ass.”

“Hey Y/N” You screeched at the sudden voice and clicked off the files as quickly as you never thought was humanly possible. Looking up you saw a smiling Tony Stark with a cup in his hands.

“ur h-hi Mr Sta-I mean Tony.” You stuttered, throwing a small smile back.

“Well it looks like you finished, good job Y/N, a lot better than are last secretary. So since you haven’t darted off yet I hoped you wouldn’t mind sticking around to assist me in my coffee refills while I’m in a meeting?” He raised an eyebrow at you. Dammit.

“N-no, I would be happy to um, how do you like it?” He thrust his cup towards you and you took it with shaky hands.

“Not too milky, not too strong with two sugars. Thanks. Bring it to me when your done, I’ll be in the boardroom around the corner, on the left.” He gave you a final wink before walking around the corner leaving you, once again sat at the desk.

You huffed and finally raised yourself off of the chair and began making Tony’s coffee, determined to make it absolutely perfect because hell if you were destined to be a secretary, you were going to be the best damn secretary the world could offer. With a final stir you grabbed his coffee cup and retraced Tony’s steps, walking around the corner toward the boardroom. You gave the door two knocks before entering the room and you swore to god in that moment you almost collapsed in shock.  Sat around the long oval table where your heroes…the heroes well plus that ass you met earlier.

“Ah Y/N you have my coffee excellent.” Tony spoke up happily, honestly you were thanking the lords someone said something or else you might have been stuck in that trance forever. You walked over to Tony, thinking way to much about not fucking up a step and planted the coffee on the table before turning around and heading for the door.

“Wait Y/N! I want to introduce to everyone.” Yep you were definitely going to faint. You turned around on the spot and smiled, consciously aware that everyone was staring at you. “So everyone, this here is the new secretary Y/N. If you need anything go to her and-” he put his cup to his mouth “she makes great coffee. So Y/N, this here is Captain perfect.” Tony gestured to the muscular blonde next to him who you knew to be Captain America, one of your all time crushes who ,of course, looked a million times better up close.

“It’s Captain America and you can call me Steve, good to meet you Y/N” He smiled at you kindly and you were pretty sure a part of you imploded.

“Yeah you to-”

“Yep very nice anyway moving on, here you have Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Vision and Tin can, sadly our Asgardian friend has more important things to do.” Tony rolled his eyes as the others all waved at you, giving small hellos, all except for the Winter Soldier.

“My names not Tin Can ,Stark.” He folded his arms.

“Oh right my bad what would you prefer, Metal arm man? Oh wait how about Donnie Darko!” Tony joked causing you to smile at the guys annoyance.

“Ha.Ha.” He replied coldly leaning back in his chair.

“Well it was nice to meet you all. I’ll be outside if you need me.” With one final smile you turned and put your hand on the door handle.

“Wait.” Sighing, you looked around at the heroes for a second time.

“Fetch us a glass of water would ya doll.” It was that Bucky again, god a please would be nice, you thought, but of course your unconfrontational nature meant all you did was smile and nod with a “sure thing.” And with that you finally exited the room, closing the door behind you with a sigh. Man you were definitely calling your friend tonight, she is gonna be so jealous that you met Captain America. Then suddenly you found yourself smiling widely again and made it to the kitchen with a brisk in your step.

You searched around the kitchen for a glass and filled it up with cold tap water before swearing to yourself once again not to drop it ,come on Y/N, if you can handle coffee you can handle Barne’s crummy water, and began to make your way back to the room. Knocking twice like before you enetered to smiling faces which you weren’t sure whether made you feel uncomfterable or relaxed. You then slowly made your way over to the dark haired man with the metal arm who was still leaning back in his chair like before. You set the water down in front of him as gentle as possible.

“Surprised you didn’t drop it on the way here.” He mumbled so only you were in ear shot. You were not gonna let this guy ruin the epicness of your day that was meeting the avengers so instead you just smiled and said “your welcome” before heading back out of the door.

Once outside, you figured it’d be best to wait for the meeting to be over before leaving your desk since you never know whether Mr Stark would come out expecting another cup of coffee. So, instead you just sat on your chair, snooping on the computer until eventual boredom struck you about 20 minutes in, which then resulted in your chosen pass time of just spinning around on your chair by for minutes on end. 

“Having fun?” You jumped and immediately stopped yourself spinning, feeling slightly dizzy,and looked up to see the Winter Soldier looking down at you curiously. “You know, that is the second time today I’ve made you jump, you ought to work on that.” He smirked at you from were he was standing but you just frowned.

“Where’s Tony?” You asked confused as to why this guy was just talking to you and where everyone else was.

“They left through the other elevator like half an hour ago.” He chuckled at your now gaping mouth.

“What! So I’ve just been sitting here for 30 minutes, for absolutely no reason!?”

“Yep, looks that way doll. I’d be feeling pretty stupid right now if I were you.” His gaze focused on the expression on your face as you just sighed in defeat.

“Well thanks for telling me.” His eyebrow raised.

“Your thanking me for calling you stupid?” He asked, still somewhat amused.

“What, no. I was just- you know what, never mind, I have better things to do than talk to you, like sleeping for example which I could have started half an hour ago.” You pushed yourself off your seat.

“It’s only 6:30?”

“Well, what can I say. Talking to you bores me to the point of tiredness.” You replied with sarcasm, pushing your H/C hair behind your ear.

“That’s no way to talk to your boss.” He started walking beside as you made your way to the elevator.

“Youre not my boss buddy, Mr Starks my boss.” You stepped inside the elevator ,leaving Bucky still on the side of the wooden floor and pushed then the button for the lower level.

“Buddy?” He raised both eyebrows at the expression as both elevator doors began to close.

“See you tomorrow Barnes.” Then he was gone.

Originally posted by buckynsebimagines

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@isaxhorror @ladymelissastark

2

Did you know that artichokes are a part of the thistle family? Edible and yummy before they bloom, then, ‘BAM!’, all kinds of pretty! They’re blooming in neighborhood gardens this week and it is wondrous to witness…. including this stunning ‘choke. Also included from this morning’s run is a neighborhood tree I love for it’s decor….. makes me happy every time I pass.

This morning was 35 minutes of slow, 99% humidity, smokey, thick air, running. We continue to have a stagnant air mass above us and air quality that is below par. We’ve also had no rain for far too long, so fires north of us in BC, 1.2+ million acres burned so far, and the 17+ wildfires in Eastern Wa, are getting no help from mother nature.

I miss blue sky.

anonymous asked:

I'm finding this entire iHeart Radio Festival debacle just ridiculous. We get an obscure hint at it from Louis' bday message to Niall and his response on Twitter. Then Bebe replies to someone with an 🤔 emoji when directly asked about whether Louis is her mystery performance partner. And then, the icing on the goddamn cake, a bloody radio station in NEW ZEALAND gets the exclusive on the announcement!! I mean, at least they are an iHeart station. But. Come-the-fuck-ON! What even IS this? smh

Hi anon,

Well it fits nicely with the larger strategy of “let’s make Louis do something so it looks like we put in some effort but in reality it’s still way below par and actually not helpful at all.”

Point in case - never announce stuff. Get him an iHeart segment with nobodies (the take a selfie stuff, Instead of e.g. the game Liam and others played with fans for iHeart, about who knows the most about them - artist or fan). Book him the same stuff as PM and then book PM on a bunch of other things, actually. Letting him attend a boxing match but dont publicize it, apart from a pap shot of him and the gf that nobody cares about except the daily mail. Never use his social media to positively promote his own song, but let him still come across as active in a minimal way. Letting him do a UK radio tour that was wholly unnecessary. Not letting him do a big US radio tour when US radio is more important since it counts towards charting position. Doing a great feature for high snobiety, noisey and the guardian’s observer, but never providing actual proper follow-up. Instead let media badger on about his arrest, or his girlfriend - in fact, let him spend an entire weekend walking up and down the street in nyc to get pap shots of the gf. Etcetera etcetera etcetera.

WOULD THE ADDICTED CHARACTERS SURVIVE THE HUNGER GAMES?

**originally posted April 1st, 2015 as part of the Fuel the Fire Tour**

For the sake of this post, we’re going to assume that all of the Addicted characters were reaped for the same Hunger Games. Survival Odds are ranked out of 10 with 10 being the best.

 LILY CALLOWAY

If her name was drawn at the reaping, she would not—and we repeat not—even try and go into the Games. She knows she’d be one of the first ones dead. Her survival skills are below par. Her killing skills are even worse. Her plan would be to find Lo and run to another district or hide in a homemade bunker. Anything to avoid the Games. While her survival odds are better outside of the Games than in them, it’s still a very risky decision.

Weapon of Choice: A Knife (in her bunker/hideaway)

Survival Odds: 4/10

LOREN HALE

He would have a fighting chance in the games, but if Lily wasn’t going, he would stay behind too. He’d protect them both and make sure they were hidden from everyone. His survival odds would be higher if he would agree to survive beyond Lily’s death. But if she died—for whatever reason—he’d give up too.

Weapon of Choice: A tazor/gun

Survival Odds: 4/10

DAISY CALLOWAY

She would go into the Games unlike Lily and Loren. And at first, she’d try to have a good time and make light of it. She’d wield a tomahawk and paint her face with camouflage. As soon as the killing started though, the reality would hit her and she would crumble. Daisy is not cut out to kill, and she’d find some poisonous berries so that A) she wouldn’t have to kill and B) someone else wouldn’t have her death on their conscience.

Weapon of Choice: A tomahawk

Survival Odds: 2/10

RYKE MEADOWS

If he was unjustly thrown into an unjust game, he’d still play by the rules—not seeing an alternate path to get out. He’d try to save Daisy before she ate the berries, but he wouldn’t get to her in enough time. So he would try to fight his way to victory, even if it means killing those around him. The only way Ryke wouldn’t survive is if he had to kill someone he loved or knew. And there is a chance in this Hunger Games that someone he loves would come face-to-face with him.

Weapon of Choice: Spear

Survival Odds: 7/10

ROSE CALLOWAY

She would have the same limitations and strengths as Ryke in the arena. If she had to kill, she would definitely do it. Rose can be ruthless if she needs to be. But she would also be hindered by trying to protect those she loves. Luckily for her, she’s married to a man that would rather team up with her than let her go on alone. With Connor by her side, she’s destined to survive.

Weapon of Choice: Sword

Survival Odds: 10/10

CONNOR COBALT

He’d have a plan. And it would be to destroy the Games all together. He’s find some way to ban everyone together and turn on the Gamemakers in a smart and stealthy manner. With the help of Rose, he’d be able to get everyone out and lead a band of rebels to ultimate victory. Yes…he’d be the male Katniss.

Weapon of Choice: Bow & Arrows

Survival Odds: 10/10

The season was below par but so very meta. Watching the ep again because the actors are playing characters who are in the middle of various ruses. Mind blowing. Maybe Jaime is the only honest one left, crazy.