bellesbookshelf

bellesbookshelf asked:

Your argument did inspire my post, I actually did a bit of research on femmephobia after seeing your discussion. I totally agree with what you said. It's a subject that actually causes me a lot of anxiety as I love traditionally feminine things but I keep reading about how that makes me a tool of the patriarchy. By no means should every girl be made to feel like they have to like pink, but it's equally constrictive (and misogynistic) to say pink can only be patriarchal.

Indeed, this is a very complex issue - and I now realize that was overly simplistic to insist that anti-femininity is necessarily misogynistic. The thing is, the issue is far more complex - and, in the end, I think xenoscum and I agree more than disagree. She wasn’t saying that it’s wrong for women to like feminine things - but just that we shouldn’t compare women who have anti-feminine attitudes to misogynists, since their anti-femininity is rooted from a different source from that of misogynists.

This is not something that can be summed up in a simple statement. I am all for challenging stringent gender marketing directed towards girls and women - but I think boys also tend to be forced into stringent gender roles, even though the context there is different. This is why I’m supportive of boys like Dyson Kilodavis - the inspiration of his mother’s book, My Princess Boy. Not all young boys like him are fortunate enough to have accepting parents.

Also, we do need to find a happy balance between not forcing little girls to be “feminine” and not devaluing of things considered “feminine”. Also, we need to keep in mind that girls/women can like both “masculine” and “feminine” things - sort of how like I am with hard rock and pink. Conversely, I don’t like sports (coded “masculine”) or clothes shopping (coded “feminine”) - and I don’t like how some people think I’m “odd” for not being too keen on clothes shopping.

And, for the record, I don’t like the terms “feminine” and “masculine”. Pink should not be considered “feminine”. It should be just a colour. As for advertising, we should just do away with the whole issue of demographics. Cake pans should just be marketed towards, well, people who like to bake. I do like to bake, sometimes - mostly because I like sweets. Some men like to bake, too.

So, anyway, that’s that.