bellafaire

When unable to shoot or get out of bed,

I spend my time with these extremely fun, inspiring, hands-on books. (:

Book #1: Wreck this journal:  something I’ve wanted for ages and luckily was totally worth the wait! From the first page, it allows me to go places I’ve never even thought of.. fully allowing myself to let go of my own perspective as well as ideas of ‘art’..creating a mess into a masterpiece. Seeing every day objects as a paint brush. Tearing and doodling and just letting my mind free to go wherever it desires. Each page is different, like a trip around a museum..that you can fill in the blanks for.  I highly suggest it for those that want to get a little creative and messy.

Book #2: A 365 daily creative journal: I won’t actually be starting this until my health is better. The projects in it are amazing but really time consuming, involve much searching for products and materials…etc. I want to begin when I can place all my effort into it.

Book #3: Memo journal..Misc lists&moments: This is an adorable book..full of colorful pages, cute drawings, and lists I never even thought of. They don’t hold back..from love, to haters, childhood and college life..memories flood back, and you wonder if your life has mattered, you hope that someone remembers you and smiles, and you hate having to write down your regrets. It’s a good book to get everything out for a fresh start. But I don’t suggest it for those that can’t honestly look at themselves. I find it cleansing. I found it at just the right time in my life, and every page will be filled before the end of the year!

I adore them all, and enjoy working on them. As they start to gather more life and become more interesting, I’ll share some pages with you. (:

That giant hill I climbed.

It was 5 minutes shy of 1 in the afternoon.

I heard the garage door open, and knew the fam was going out.

Keeping the promise to myself, I literally jumped out of bed and into clothes

I wanted to get out of the house, photograph the snow falling down.

We ended up parking somewhere, and to get the best view..

I had to climb up a devil hill. The kind that leaves

all our out of shape asses breathing heavily and sore all over.

My heart beat was normal. &Iran up that beast! My breathing was fine.

I couldn’t believe it!

I was literally on top of the world, feeling the same way. (:

Midnight ramblings

It’s been a really wonderful few weeks, when you discount the random sickly attacks here and there. I swear, if I didn’t have momma & gram at home…I’d be in a Home! Yikes! Only when I have all 8 meds in, I can go to the store &hang out with friends..but only for maaaybe 5 hours max! Ha. I’m hardly close to being cured, but..I’m happy with the small fabulous times I do feel good! Like today! (: I woke up early, made myself some hot coco and cuddled in bed with little molly for a few more hours. Then worked on my scrapbooking project, I’m in love with it and cannot waiiiitt to scan it, working on it and making it mixed media. *bounce*

My hair is getting so long..and the pink dye from JULY is STILL in my hair!

It looks so awesome when I style it the correct way..almost like a swirly ice cream.

For Christmas, Mom got me these goooorgeous hair extensions that match perfectly so sometime soon I’ll be trying those out. (:

This is my comeback year for photos. 2010 was pathettic. I didn’t shoot much.

If you don’t see me around much, it’s because I’m either in bed sick, or using the short time I’m NOT sick, to photograph and edit. (: They’re the most important thing in my life..what makes me feel the best..so I’m thinking, maybe if I photograph a little more, my health will improve.

Crazier things have happened. :p

Shipping out to Boston

to see a specialist in the field of C.V.S.;

pretty much the only doctor that understands it yet.

I’m not getting my hopes too high though,

we all know how many times I thought/said “THIS IS IT, I’LL BE BETTER”

then a relapse would happen.

We don’t go til Friday. It’s driving me bonkers. Dear time, go faster.

May, you're wonderful.

I opened May with hundreds of Polaroid photos. (:

Since it may be some time before I get a scanner hooked up, I’m just going to shoot them through my 40d. :p

I’m alsooo about to go on a spring/summer shopping spree!; It’s necessary now that I gained the weight back, and nearly everything I currently own is too small (whoops!) x:

Though clearly, I don’t mind having to go shopping..
I love shopping as much as I love photography.
It’s unhealthy, obsessive, but creates beautiful magic ahead of it’s time. <3

Dear October

Please get here.

The crisp autumn air calms me, while the colors inspire;

and both of these things are much needed in my life right now.

I’m trying my best to figure out how to start shooting again, modeling again,

how to move bedrooms, decorate the new one, and begin working again..

I think I’ll be selling most of the clothes and photo props I have,

it’ll make it much easier to move, and they’ll finally be used unlike now. :x

I’m slowly gaining strength and learning how to live with this illness,

medication and really amazing doctors have me at the best I’ve felt in 4 years..

it feels really nice. but it’s a tease. I want to travel and live normally so badly

but can’t quite yet. *le sigh*

I’ve sent out 2 letters, and have 3 more to write.

My books are still be created, as well as my calenders;

I stalled the process to wait for photos I have in mind.

&all of my photo sites need MAJOR updates at some point.

I don’t even know where to begin. or how! There’s just so much to do..

so many ideas in my head, so many things I’d like to create, design or buy.

I’ll make it happen, I’m just curious what the future holds for me at this point.

Night time autumn walks, breathing in the crisp air, feeling the chill but being distracted by nature’s beauty. Stunning purple clouds covering the entire sky, enhancing the blank navy blue mountain curves. city lights shimmer in the distance through the naked tree limbs. Details of a perfect night replaying on the mind like a busy film projector.

If you give a mouse a cookie..

or, clara a chocolate cupcake, she’ll be your best friend forever!

I went to pick up my prescription scripts, & had a little party while waiting.

I miss Carol ): She left and didn’t even tell me she was leaving! Boooo!!

But, that yummy cupcake perked up my day!

When I got home I shot a few fun self portraits..

thinking about a serious set to do tomorrow afternoon, conditions willing!

I’m trying so hard to figure out how to organize my life..I need a break.